Your Friday Smile!

Happy Friday!!

Your Friday Smile!

So very true...

Happy weekend!

Your Friday Smile!

I just love her!

Enjoy the long weekend!

It's coming...

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to everyone!
Cherish the moments spent with your loved ones.

Your Friday Smile!

I just love her!! Hee.

Since this is the last Friday Smile before the Holidays, I thought I'd use this occasion to wish you, dear fellows bloggers, a very bright Christmas... just like this one...

Enjoy it, 'cause it only comes once a year!
Have a good one!

It's begining to look...

All my Christmas shopping is done, all my presents are wrapped and under the tree. Our Christmas cards have been sent. I’ve done some cooking as well; even made some meat pies for a girlfriend of mine, and yet, I still feel like I’m running out of time or something. It’s weird. Maybe it is due to my husband’s lack of enthusiasm for it all? Maybe it’s because of the fact that it rained all day today, and all the beautiful snow has either melted or is now covered with ice? Whatever the reason, I don’t feel the excitement I used to for this time of year. I still love seeing the decorations, and hearing the Christmas songs, but it's not the same "warm & fuzzy" feeling or excitement it used to be.

It saddens me to feel this “blah” about it all, even if I did enjoy the get-together with friends we had last weekend. When I sit by our tree and look at it, I feel this great chagrin, as if I’m being splashed with sadness, and yet, there is nothing really for me to be sad about. Things are good, health as well (as far as we know), we do enjoy each other’s company and laugh daily… Is this what my grandparents were referring to when I was younger? I remember walking in on my grandmother while she was wiping her tears, and she explained to me that as time passes things change and you can’t help but feel nostalgic when Christmas comes. You can’t help but think of the people you’ve loved and lost. I didn’t get it at the time, but I sure do now. I guess this is what growing old means. Oh well…

Yep, stuffing would be good

I'd do it in more mouths than just carolers...

But that's me!

Your Friday Smile!

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to care fully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday... ' 'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

***

Enjoy the weekend & if you party,
please don't drink & drive!

Maxine on Christmas Shopping

In her weird way, she's right...

Even if I'm kind of done shopping...
only a few little things left because of delinquent relatives.

A little indeed

I managed to get five hours of sleep... after playing Tettris for a while, I went to bed, toss & turn for another half-hour and somehow managed to fall asleep... I wish I could say I slept like a baby, but I didn't. Actually, wait, I did! I slept like a baby who isn't making its nights yet! Yeah, that's it! And I feel like the baby and its parents!!!

Need I say more?

I feel Fashionably Yucky

Last time I went to a swimsuit shop the only thing I really felt comfortable in was the dressing room. I started to think that “maybe” I should lose weight. The only thing that keeps me from staying on a diet is food. I love food. I often do the seafood diet: I see food and I eat it!

Who wouldn’t want to lose 20 pounds before swimsuit season? If you’ve got $5.95 there’s a magazine out there for you that can tell you how to do it. At least that’s what they pretend to from every rack at the grocery store.

Women’s magazines show touched up pictures of starved supermodels, and they pretend that is what we should look like. That is NOT perfection! The worst part is that they pretend that “that” look can be achieved without leaving the comfort of our home. Yeah sure! If their tips really worked, we’d never buy another magazine. Did you ever think about that?

Looking through magazines, I determined that if I ate what the “experts” consider the perfect diet for someone my age, height, hair colour and recycling pickup day I’d lose weight. The fact that I’d never feel like eating doesn’t have anything to do with this. I wonder if those weight-loss nuts that came up with some of these diet tips actually ever tried them? Seriously!

I know, like we all do, what I need to do to lose weight:
Step one: Get off my butt.
Step two: Move my butt.
Step three: Repeat! That’s all!

That or throw away all those magazines!

Maxine says it so well, doesn't she, when she says:

Fashion magazines are society’s way of saying “If you don’t feel inadequate already, read one of these!”

Can of Worms

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead.

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was setting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"


Don't you just love little old Maxine.

I sure do - Thanks Barb!

I'm your friend!

This is my favorite Maxine quote! I can SOOOO relate to her! and if you're a friend I'm sure you can too!

Would you want a friend who never talks back, enthusiastically digs into whatever leftovers you're serving, and doesn't look better than you in the same outfit? Yes? Well, then you don't want me!!

Joke aside, I want to use this blog as I would if I was writing my own advice column. It will give me a chance to say in writing what I usually think or say under my breath (just like Maxine).

I don't know if you are ready for this... You think you're crabby? You think you're short fuse? Take this quiz (that I made up!) if you want to find out. I'll tell you!


1. You're shopping with a friend, the first thing she does is:
a) Walk in the opposite direction you're going.
b) Stand behind you, looking away, while you give crap to the clerck.
c) Ask you where you want to go next, so she can tell the clerck to leave you alone before you show up.

2. You tell a friend you're going out, she tells you:
a) "You should avoid crowds".
b) "Are you sure you wouldn't rather stay home instead?".
c) "I'll be home this weekend if you need me to post bail".

3. Finish this phrase: I'm sorry...
a) I didn't think you spoke French/English.
b) you didn't move out of my way fast enough.
c) stop wasting my time, I can scream louder than you.

Scoring:
All "a": You're crabby, but you don't need medication yet.
All "b": You're not the most patient one around, quite the "short-fuse".
All "c": Better see your doctor, you might need some pills! You're just like me!

So now you know! By the way, thanks to my friend Martine and my husband for having been by my side and inspiring me this little test. How many lives you've saved we'll never know!