Or at least it seems like it. I sometimes judge the importance of news by how the homepage of CNN changes... if it just gets a headline, eh... but if it changes the layout of the whole page, gets a bigger than normal picture and bolded, red words, now that's important!
Well, the failure of Congress to approve a bailout plan and the subsequent historic plunge of the stock market was given the latter treatment on CNN.com today. The picture, spanning the entire width of the front page, showed traders despairingly burying their heads in their hands. Citigroup's preemptive acquisition of Wachovia before failure, one of the biggest banks in the country, barely even registered on the homepage today. There is no denying that this is a huge and far-reaching problem. The Asian markets are already down, and who knows what will happen in the next few days before Congress meets again.
While the condition of the market is scary (especially to someone who is planning on practicing corporate law in a year, and doesn't exactly have job security if the market continues to worsen), it would take a lot to convince me that this is not just a regular business cycle that will right itself eventually.
What really freaks me out is how all of this is being reacted to by politicians in the United States. Everything is merely a talking point or an excuse to blame someone from the other party. At the debate last Friday, neither candidate would give a straightforward answer as to a solution, and neither could resist blaming the Bush administration for all the problems. This article demonstrates my point perfectly. "Lawmakers quickly point fingers after bailout fails." It feels like witnessing siblings complain to their mother about who started the fight and who is more to blame. "House Republican leaders blamed Nancy Pelosi, the Democratic Speaker of the House, for the bill's failure, saying she had scuttled a bipartisan compromise with a "partisan speech" shortly before the vote. Pelosi started her speech by citing 'the Bush administration's failed economic policies -- policies built on budgetary recklessness, on an anything-goes mentality with no regulation, no supervision and no discipline in the system.'
So what I am hearing here is that Republicans were "making a point" to punish the Democrats for hurting their feelings, and Democrats couldn't refrain from fingerpointing one last time before voting on this important rescue measure.
It's not that I think the House should vote for ANYTHING that is proposed just to satisfy the markets. I am generally for deregulation, and I think government intervention got us into this mess, and I'm pretty sure that government intervention is going to prolong, and/or worsen it. Paying double or triple the value of these assets with taxpayer money for a quick fix is not a long-term solution to a serious problem. BUT notice how we have heard few substantive reasons for the failure of this bill. It's because politicians are too busy being politicians. And THIS is what is wrong with this country and politics... at this point, I really don't give a shit how this financial crisis started or who to blame. It sure as hell wasn't one person alone who did it, and almost certainly it's the fault of people on both sides of the aisle. So let's be adults and find a solution, since we're all going to suffer if we don't.
This is the same problem I have with politicians (and the two major parties) in general. But usually I don't think the issues are this urgent. It's sad that I have almost no confidence in the leadership of this country but I don't see things getting any better. I mean, what will it take?!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
What a Difference a Month Makes
I've mentioned before that I haven't taken any pictures of myself throughout the pregnancy so far... This weekend we took a few pictures, and I can't believe how pregnant I look now!
Five weeks ago, I looked pudgy but no one dared ask me when I was due. Granted, this isn't a profile picture, but you get the idea.
I remember when I first got pregnant and was trying to figure out if I would be showing while I was a summer associate, I searched the internet for pictures of pregnant bellies at different stages. The books all said that women show at different times, and many women claimed to "just pop out one day." I didn't believe it then, but I do now.
Five weeks ago, I looked pudgy but no one dared ask me when I was due. Granted, this isn't a profile picture, but you get the idea.
I remember when I first got pregnant and was trying to figure out if I would be showing while I was a summer associate, I searched the internet for pictures of pregnant bellies at different stages. The books all said that women show at different times, and many women claimed to "just pop out one day." I didn't believe it then, but I do now.
Friday, September 26, 2008
The Baby Stuff We're Getting ... and What We're Not
Stuff we're getting soon:
* Crib – we still haven't fully decided on what to get… at first, I wanted a crib and changing table from pottery barn kids, but I just couldn't rationalize spending so much money on something that I'm pretty sure isn't of quality that deserves that price tag. I started looking at BabiesRUs and online for cribs that had good customer reviews and were in the $200-$400 range. The Baby Bargains book (Thank you SO MUCH to those of you who recommended it!!!) has a really extensive and detailed section on cribs and other nursery furniture, but their top picks are still more expensive than I think I want to spend ($600 for a crib, more for matching dressers). I don't want to buy something that looks cheap or will fall apart soon, so I would invest in good quality if I was sure it would last… but it's hard to tell what is actually good quality and what is just expensive. I think we'll try to decide this weekend on nursery furniture.
UPDATE - we ordered the Munire Essex Crib and double dresser today... The crib is mahogany wood in a cherry finish, converts to a toddler and full size bed and seems really sturdy. The dresser is a 6 drawer dresser (side by side) so we plan on using it as a changing table in the nursery (with plenty of storage), but we figure it can easily be used in a regular bedroom with the full-size bed too. The place we bought it from had a sale this weekend with no sales tax added, and there is no delivery charge if we pick it up from the store, so it was actually really reasonably priced as well. I absolutely love it! My only concern is with the delivery time frame... reviews online said the manufacturer is notoriously delayed. At first, they quoted us a 12-14 week window. When we said that wouldn't work, they supposedly found a huge warehouse in northern California with two left in stock, so we should get them within 2-4 weeks. If it's going to be longer, we can change our order, but I really hope we don't have to!
* Dresser (also using as a changing table) - what exactly we get depends on the crib, but I am thinking I want a 6 drawer dresser, so that it's long enough and low enough to use a changing table but still with enough storage room for all the stuff.
* Glider & ottoman (well, we already got this because PJO's mom gave us the money to buy it while it was on sale as an early Christmas gift... we got Dutalier and I LOVE it!)
* We are also going to buy a starting supply of diapers/wipes/detergent and a back-up container of formula at some point before the baby is born
Stuff we're registering for:
* Infant car seat (Graco snugride – cheap, safe, good reviews)
* Stroller frame (Graco snug-ride; it's cheap, lightweight and has good reviews… Once Uno is too big for infant seat, we'll look into buying a regular stroller (I think waiting to buy it until 4 or 6 months when we'll actually need it makes more sense than buying it now... as of now, we like Maclaren, Chico or peg perego)
* Baby bjorn carrier – some people don't like these, but I think we'll use it a lot since we're outside so much. This seemed sturdier than a sling which is why I want it instead.
* bouncer and swing – most people say to just buy one of these, but I put both on my registry and figure I will probably use both at some point, and worst case I can decide later whether to keep them
* bedding - mattress, several plain crib sheets, sheet savers plus the cute stuff that's a waste of money but I can't resist. We also registered for the changing table pad and cover
* Bottles / Nipples - We registered for Dr. Browns and Born Free glass bottles (2 of each brand for both the small and bigger size)... I plan on breastfeeding and pumping, so I will use bottles but probably not exclusively. I want to make sure to have more than one brand in case Uno doesn't like the first one we try, and I figure we can buy more later if we need more.
* Boppy pillow
* The standard bathing stuff, first aid and grooming kits
* baby monitor - although I don't know if we'll really need this, since we're in a little apartment.
* A few blankets and swaddlers
* Pack 'n play – I wasn't going to get this, but since I'm not really sure what our childcare situation will be (i.e. we aren't sure that we'll have someone come to our place), I thought we should have one of these. I also could this as a bassinet if we decide we want one. We weren't going to use a bassinet at all since the nursery is about 10 feet from our bed (my mom never used one for us either), but I figure it won't hurt to have this in case we decide to use it as a bassinet.
* Crib Tent - I can't decide what to do about this one... My thought is that I should have something to keep the cats out of the crib... I can't really imagine actually using it, it doesn't have great reviews and it's UGLY. But what if I need to keep curious cats away from Uno? I'll probably end up never taking it out of the box, but it's still on here in case I decide I need it.
stuff we will buy later:
* baby clothes - Especially given that I am apparently destined to have a large baby (who will likely not fit in 0-3 month clothes ever), I am not planning on buying any newborn clothes. After the baby shower, I will figure out what clothes we still need, since I know most women can't resist buying cute little baby clothes.
* Regular stroller
* High Chair
* (maybe sooner) Breast Pump – I think I'm leaning towards getting a double electric pump. At least until June, I'll only have to be gone for class for a 5-hour stretch on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so I probably won't pump at school. Therefore, I would rather have a pump that can build a good supply efficiently, and if I still pump when I'm gone for longer stretches during the day, it will work well. BUT I still don't know if I want to drop $250 or so before having the baby in case there is a reason why I can't breastfeed. Baby Bargains recommends waiting and possibly renting one for the first month to see if it works for you… this might be a pain, and I might just buy a pump earlier, but it makes sense to me. We'll see. I think I would probably get the Medela Pump in Style Advanced because it has the best reviews and is the median price of the best-rated ones, b/w Ameda purely yours and the Avent Isis iQ.
Thoughts?
* Crib – we still haven't fully decided on what to get… at first, I wanted a crib and changing table from pottery barn kids, but I just couldn't rationalize spending so much money on something that I'm pretty sure isn't of quality that deserves that price tag. I started looking at BabiesRUs and online for cribs that had good customer reviews and were in the $200-$400 range. The Baby Bargains book (Thank you SO MUCH to those of you who recommended it!!!) has a really extensive and detailed section on cribs and other nursery furniture, but their top picks are still more expensive than I think I want to spend ($600 for a crib, more for matching dressers). I don't want to buy something that looks cheap or will fall apart soon, so I would invest in good quality if I was sure it would last… but it's hard to tell what is actually good quality and what is just expensive. I think we'll try to decide this weekend on nursery furniture.
UPDATE - we ordered the Munire Essex Crib and double dresser today... The crib is mahogany wood in a cherry finish, converts to a toddler and full size bed and seems really sturdy. The dresser is a 6 drawer dresser (side by side) so we plan on using it as a changing table in the nursery (with plenty of storage), but we figure it can easily be used in a regular bedroom with the full-size bed too. The place we bought it from had a sale this weekend with no sales tax added, and there is no delivery charge if we pick it up from the store, so it was actually really reasonably priced as well. I absolutely love it! My only concern is with the delivery time frame... reviews online said the manufacturer is notoriously delayed. At first, they quoted us a 12-14 week window. When we said that wouldn't work, they supposedly found a huge warehouse in northern California with two left in stock, so we should get them within 2-4 weeks. If it's going to be longer, we can change our order, but I really hope we don't have to!
* Dresser (also using as a changing table) - what exactly we get depends on the crib, but I am thinking I want a 6 drawer dresser, so that it's long enough and low enough to use a changing table but still with enough storage room for all the stuff.
* Glider & ottoman (well, we already got this because PJO's mom gave us the money to buy it while it was on sale as an early Christmas gift... we got Dutalier and I LOVE it!)
* We are also going to buy a starting supply of diapers/wipes/detergent and a back-up container of formula at some point before the baby is born
Stuff we're registering for:
* Infant car seat (Graco snugride – cheap, safe, good reviews)
* Stroller frame (Graco snug-ride; it's cheap, lightweight and has good reviews… Once Uno is too big for infant seat, we'll look into buying a regular stroller (I think waiting to buy it until 4 or 6 months when we'll actually need it makes more sense than buying it now... as of now, we like Maclaren, Chico or peg perego)
* Baby bjorn carrier – some people don't like these, but I think we'll use it a lot since we're outside so much. This seemed sturdier than a sling which is why I want it instead.
* bouncer and swing – most people say to just buy one of these, but I put both on my registry and figure I will probably use both at some point, and worst case I can decide later whether to keep them
* bedding - mattress, several plain crib sheets, sheet savers plus the cute stuff that's a waste of money but I can't resist. We also registered for the changing table pad and cover
* Bottles / Nipples - We registered for Dr. Browns and Born Free glass bottles (2 of each brand for both the small and bigger size)... I plan on breastfeeding and pumping, so I will use bottles but probably not exclusively. I want to make sure to have more than one brand in case Uno doesn't like the first one we try, and I figure we can buy more later if we need more.
* Boppy pillow
* The standard bathing stuff, first aid and grooming kits
* baby monitor - although I don't know if we'll really need this, since we're in a little apartment.
* A few blankets and swaddlers
* Pack 'n play – I wasn't going to get this, but since I'm not really sure what our childcare situation will be (i.e. we aren't sure that we'll have someone come to our place), I thought we should have one of these. I also could this as a bassinet if we decide we want one. We weren't going to use a bassinet at all since the nursery is about 10 feet from our bed (my mom never used one for us either), but I figure it won't hurt to have this in case we decide to use it as a bassinet.
* Crib Tent - I can't decide what to do about this one... My thought is that I should have something to keep the cats out of the crib... I can't really imagine actually using it, it doesn't have great reviews and it's UGLY. But what if I need to keep curious cats away from Uno? I'll probably end up never taking it out of the box, but it's still on here in case I decide I need it.
stuff we will buy later:
* baby clothes - Especially given that I am apparently destined to have a large baby (who will likely not fit in 0-3 month clothes ever), I am not planning on buying any newborn clothes. After the baby shower, I will figure out what clothes we still need, since I know most women can't resist buying cute little baby clothes.
* Regular stroller
* High Chair
* (maybe sooner) Breast Pump – I think I'm leaning towards getting a double electric pump. At least until June, I'll only have to be gone for class for a 5-hour stretch on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so I probably won't pump at school. Therefore, I would rather have a pump that can build a good supply efficiently, and if I still pump when I'm gone for longer stretches during the day, it will work well. BUT I still don't know if I want to drop $250 or so before having the baby in case there is a reason why I can't breastfeed. Baby Bargains recommends waiting and possibly renting one for the first month to see if it works for you… this might be a pain, and I might just buy a pump earlier, but it makes sense to me. We'll see. I think I would probably get the Medela Pump in Style Advanced because it has the best reviews and is the median price of the best-rated ones, b/w Ameda purely yours and the Avent Isis iQ.
Thoughts?
Second Tri in Review
Tri as in trimester. Week 27 begins today, and so begins the last week of the second trimester. My due date is 3 months from today! This seems like as good of a time as any to reflect on my pregnancy so far and review my expectations and hopes for the last third of it or so.
First of all, I had a doctor's appointment today. I met with another doctor in the practice group so that I would have met each doctor at least once before delivery, since it's possible that any of them could deliver. He was nice, although I definitely like my doctor better. For the first time, I had my fundal measurements taken, and then I heard the heartbeat again. Everything is normal and he asked me if I had any questions. I started asking about the rest of my appointments and it finally came up from my questions that he thought I was 30 weeks! I said that I'm only 27 weeks and he whipped out that stupid little wheel to figure it out. My due date in the chart looked like 12/6/08 instead of 12/26/08. He finally looks at me and says, "you're definitely measuring large then!" I am not surprised, I'm 5'10" and PJO is 6'2" ... it just confirmed my fears. It also kind of explains why I felt Uno kicking fairly early and very strongly. I know these measurements aren't always accurate but I really hope I don't have a 10+ pounder. I kind of wish I hadn't told him that my due date was the 26th... but I don't want to have bad karma.
So other than the fact that Uno is apparently a gorilla, everything is great! I have completely, totally popped out. 5 weeks ago, I was not even really showing and now I have a big 'ole belly. I have gained approximately 15 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, but haven't noticed it anywhere except in my belly. My appetite has increased, especially in the morning. I basically have two breakfasts and then lunch and dinner. I am constantly thirsty, so I drink a lot of water. I have started to feel tired again and find it harder to wake up in the morning.
This could be because I can't sleep well anymore. I find it hard to fall asleep and then I'm always uncomfortable so I wake up during the night. I usually sleep on my back and hate having to sleep on my side ... I've tried pillows between my legs and I think I hate that even more.
It surprises me how much this belly throws off my balance. I didn't believe all the predictions and I thought, it's just a little belly on my normal body. I was wrong. I also sometimes get backaches when I do certain things now, like wash the dishes for more than 10 minutes at a time. Holding the heavy pots out in front of me is too much weight I guess.
I haven't had much swelling or bloating, except when I've been walking around a lot. I haven't felt any crazy emotional swings or memory loss or any of those kind of symptoms.
Despite how much I physically do not like pregnancy, I am getting better at it I think. I am so excited that in about 3 months, I will get to meet my son! I can't wait to hold him and give him a name and get to know his personality and just be a family.
My first trimester, I was pretty much in denial that pregnancy affected my body at all. and it really didn't. But when I started to get a little thicker around the middle, I was completely disgusted and refused to take pictures or let PJO touch my belly. In the second trimester around the 21st week, we finally told our friends and family that I was pregnant, and my body started showing it almost immediately.
I do NOT like this belly or my body shape in general. I still think it seems very unnatural and unattractive. I don't particularly want to take pictures of myself, but I will because I think I might want to look at them later. I don't like how people can take one look at you and know so much, or how they feel entitled to touch you and comment on your appearance. I don't like how I have to wear ugly clothes and look awkward. And let's face it, I don't like how I can't enjoy some vino at night when I watch TV. But I'm letting my excitement about the baby take over and I try not to focus on the fact that I am, in fact, pregnant.
What really blows my mind about being 6 months pregnant is what that really means is I have 3 months to finish an entire semester of law school and get ready to have a baby. I'm starting to realize that it will be kind of difficult, physically, to be 8.5 months pregnant and taking final exams. I'm still keeping up with my classes, but starting this weekend, I need to start working on papers and presentations that I will need to do in the next month or so. It's going to go by so fast and I am already exhausted by it all. If the rest of my pregnancy goes by as drama-free as it has so far, I will feel lucky. My biggest challenge will be reminding myself to "take it easy" while taking 17 units and maintaining a somewhat respectable GPA. .... I'll try.
First of all, I had a doctor's appointment today. I met with another doctor in the practice group so that I would have met each doctor at least once before delivery, since it's possible that any of them could deliver. He was nice, although I definitely like my doctor better. For the first time, I had my fundal measurements taken, and then I heard the heartbeat again. Everything is normal and he asked me if I had any questions. I started asking about the rest of my appointments and it finally came up from my questions that he thought I was 30 weeks! I said that I'm only 27 weeks and he whipped out that stupid little wheel to figure it out. My due date in the chart looked like 12/6/08 instead of 12/26/08. He finally looks at me and says, "you're definitely measuring large then!" I am not surprised, I'm 5'10" and PJO is 6'2" ... it just confirmed my fears. It also kind of explains why I felt Uno kicking fairly early and very strongly. I know these measurements aren't always accurate but I really hope I don't have a 10+ pounder. I kind of wish I hadn't told him that my due date was the 26th... but I don't want to have bad karma.
So other than the fact that Uno is apparently a gorilla, everything is great! I have completely, totally popped out. 5 weeks ago, I was not even really showing and now I have a big 'ole belly. I have gained approximately 15 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, but haven't noticed it anywhere except in my belly. My appetite has increased, especially in the morning. I basically have two breakfasts and then lunch and dinner. I am constantly thirsty, so I drink a lot of water. I have started to feel tired again and find it harder to wake up in the morning.
This could be because I can't sleep well anymore. I find it hard to fall asleep and then I'm always uncomfortable so I wake up during the night. I usually sleep on my back and hate having to sleep on my side ... I've tried pillows between my legs and I think I hate that even more.
It surprises me how much this belly throws off my balance. I didn't believe all the predictions and I thought, it's just a little belly on my normal body. I was wrong. I also sometimes get backaches when I do certain things now, like wash the dishes for more than 10 minutes at a time. Holding the heavy pots out in front of me is too much weight I guess.
I haven't had much swelling or bloating, except when I've been walking around a lot. I haven't felt any crazy emotional swings or memory loss or any of those kind of symptoms.
Despite how much I physically do not like pregnancy, I am getting better at it I think. I am so excited that in about 3 months, I will get to meet my son! I can't wait to hold him and give him a name and get to know his personality and just be a family.
My first trimester, I was pretty much in denial that pregnancy affected my body at all. and it really didn't. But when I started to get a little thicker around the middle, I was completely disgusted and refused to take pictures or let PJO touch my belly. In the second trimester around the 21st week, we finally told our friends and family that I was pregnant, and my body started showing it almost immediately.
I do NOT like this belly or my body shape in general. I still think it seems very unnatural and unattractive. I don't particularly want to take pictures of myself, but I will because I think I might want to look at them later. I don't like how people can take one look at you and know so much, or how they feel entitled to touch you and comment on your appearance. I don't like how I have to wear ugly clothes and look awkward. And let's face it, I don't like how I can't enjoy some vino at night when I watch TV. But I'm letting my excitement about the baby take over and I try not to focus on the fact that I am, in fact, pregnant.
What really blows my mind about being 6 months pregnant is what that really means is I have 3 months to finish an entire semester of law school and get ready to have a baby. I'm starting to realize that it will be kind of difficult, physically, to be 8.5 months pregnant and taking final exams. I'm still keeping up with my classes, but starting this weekend, I need to start working on papers and presentations that I will need to do in the next month or so. It's going to go by so fast and I am already exhausted by it all. If the rest of my pregnancy goes by as drama-free as it has so far, I will feel lucky. My biggest challenge will be reminding myself to "take it easy" while taking 17 units and maintaining a somewhat respectable GPA. .... I'll try.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Name Game
Some girls talk about how they dreamed about their wedding when they were little and know exactly what they want when the time comes to plan one. I also know many women who claim to have the names of their children picked out before they even meet the future father of said children. I was never one of those girls... didn't think about my wedding once before I got engaged and changed my mind about the baby names I liked every year or so. Even if I had been that kind of girl, that's SO not how my relationship with PJO works. He is very involved and we make almost every decision together, which I love ... most of the time.
I never thought it would be so difficult to come up with names! If anything, I thought couples fight for their "favorites" and eventually compromise or one side caves in. I'm sure some people actually both agree and love the same name without a fight, but I can't really picture that. We can't even come up with a name we would both like, much less love.
PJO and I come from pretty different backgrounds... I grew up in southern California in a family whose ancestors have been in the United States for about 200 years. PJO grew up in New Jersey, 2nd generation Italian (with some Irish thrown in there). I think that explains a little bit ... names like Salvatore, Gennaro, and Frank are common (and frequently re-used). Those sound like crabby, old man names to me. Names like Tyler and Blake sound like hippy, new-age California names to him. We have no family names in common. Basically, we're starting from scratch.
Our first plan was to each go through (on our own) the top 500 (yes, FIVE HUNDRED) list of boy names and each cross out the names we wanted to eliminate. Then we compared the lists to see if there were any common names left. I think we had 10. I thought that was enough to work with and we would be picking one from there. Since that night about 2 months ago, we (mostly PJO) have withdrawn some of those names, and it has dwindled to about 3. While I could be happy with any of the three, PJO can barely restrain himself from grimacing when I say them, and I think they're only still on the list because he doesn't have any alternatives to suggest. He definitely is not willing to concede that we might choose one of those as THE name.
I'm pretty sure that we won't agree until shortly before we're discharged from the hospital. Part of me wants to wait until I see UNO to decide anyway, but the type-A planner in me is going crazy not knowing how we're going to decide what to name our first child. I'm pretty sure there aren't any magical, previously undiscovered, names lurking in baby books or on the internet that we'll both instantly agree to, and neither of us are the type to settle or change our mind without a fight. So at this point, Uno will remain Uno. PJO's joke about leaving it up to the internet at namemybaby.com or selling naming rights (think WALter MARTin or Starbucks Pepsi) will remain jokes.
I never thought it would be so difficult to come up with names! If anything, I thought couples fight for their "favorites" and eventually compromise or one side caves in. I'm sure some people actually both agree and love the same name without a fight, but I can't really picture that. We can't even come up with a name we would both like, much less love.
PJO and I come from pretty different backgrounds... I grew up in southern California in a family whose ancestors have been in the United States for about 200 years. PJO grew up in New Jersey, 2nd generation Italian (with some Irish thrown in there). I think that explains a little bit ... names like Salvatore, Gennaro, and Frank are common (and frequently re-used). Those sound like crabby, old man names to me. Names like Tyler and Blake sound like hippy, new-age California names to him. We have no family names in common. Basically, we're starting from scratch.
Our first plan was to each go through (on our own) the top 500 (yes, FIVE HUNDRED) list of boy names and each cross out the names we wanted to eliminate. Then we compared the lists to see if there were any common names left. I think we had 10. I thought that was enough to work with and we would be picking one from there. Since that night about 2 months ago, we (mostly PJO) have withdrawn some of those names, and it has dwindled to about 3. While I could be happy with any of the three, PJO can barely restrain himself from grimacing when I say them, and I think they're only still on the list because he doesn't have any alternatives to suggest. He definitely is not willing to concede that we might choose one of those as THE name.
I'm pretty sure that we won't agree until shortly before we're discharged from the hospital. Part of me wants to wait until I see UNO to decide anyway, but the type-A planner in me is going crazy not knowing how we're going to decide what to name our first child. I'm pretty sure there aren't any magical, previously undiscovered, names lurking in baby books or on the internet that we'll both instantly agree to, and neither of us are the type to settle or change our mind without a fight. So at this point, Uno will remain Uno. PJO's joke about leaving it up to the internet at namemybaby.com or selling naming rights (think WALter MARTin or Starbucks Pepsi) will remain jokes.
These Prizes Really Do Exist
I always assumed that a lot of contests, sweepstakes and lotteries were shams and never actually awarded a prize to anyone. Maybe it's because I'm cynical or maybe it's because I've never actually known anyone who won, but I just thought some of this stuff really is just "too good to be true."
Well, now I'm a believer. KIIS FM (the obnoxious pop radio station in LA with Ryan Seacrest) had this Perfect Wedding contest. Tons of couples entered in order to win an all-expenses paid wedding and the audience was supposed to vote for their favorite couple.
Today, my friends found out they won! Crews showed up at their apartment this morning to surprise them and then had a limo take them to a champagne brunch at the venue to start wedding planning. I got a call inviting me to join, but I was already on my way in a carpool to school, so I had to decline. :( Their wedding is now in 5 weeks, so they have a ton of work to do, but I think they're really excited for it.
I think I might have died if I couldn't plan my own wedding exactly the way I wanted it, but it's pretty cool that they'll have this story to tell about theirs.
They're a very sweet couple and definitely a great pick for this contest.
Well, now I'm a believer. KIIS FM (the obnoxious pop radio station in LA with Ryan Seacrest) had this Perfect Wedding contest. Tons of couples entered in order to win an all-expenses paid wedding and the audience was supposed to vote for their favorite couple.
Today, my friends found out they won! Crews showed up at their apartment this morning to surprise them and then had a limo take them to a champagne brunch at the venue to start wedding planning. I got a call inviting me to join, but I was already on my way in a carpool to school, so I had to decline. :( Their wedding is now in 5 weeks, so they have a ton of work to do, but I think they're really excited for it.
I think I might have died if I couldn't plan my own wedding exactly the way I wanted it, but it's pretty cool that they'll have this story to tell about theirs.
They're a very sweet couple and definitely a great pick for this contest.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
One is the Loneliest Number
PJO left for a business trip yesterday. He's in London until Tuesday night, then New York until Friday night. It's the first time he's gone away since we moved in to our new apartment and the first time since I've been pregnant. While I always miss him while he's gone, I like to think of myself as a pretty independent girl. He's the more sentimental and needy one of the two of us, and I tend to enjoy alone time and keeping the apartment clean and organized for more than a day at a time. But this time I really miss him. It seems so lonely and quiet here. Several times a day, I catch myself thinking that I can't wait to tell him something or cuddle with him or just see him. Maybe I do have some crazy pregnancy hormones running around inside me and I was just oblivious to it before. Or maybe, just maybe, he's making me into more of a sentimental, needy woman.
I also have noticed that I get more paranoid about him traveling now. I have never been afraid of flying (I think I first flew when I was 6 months old). But nevertheless, I am sitting on my computer, typing his flight number in the flight tracker several times to make sure his plane made it there safely.
I should be more productive while he's gone... I have no husband to entertain or make sure I spend my time with, so I can selfishly do all the work I want. But all I want to do is cuddle on the couch with my cats and watch movies, eating popcorn and drinking hot chocolate. I sound like I'm really depressed, but I think it's more that I just really don't want to do any reading. I guess it's about that time though... Fed tax of business entities isn't going to read itself.
I also have noticed that I get more paranoid about him traveling now. I have never been afraid of flying (I think I first flew when I was 6 months old). But nevertheless, I am sitting on my computer, typing his flight number in the flight tracker several times to make sure his plane made it there safely.
I should be more productive while he's gone... I have no husband to entertain or make sure I spend my time with, so I can selfishly do all the work I want. But all I want to do is cuddle on the couch with my cats and watch movies, eating popcorn and drinking hot chocolate. I sound like I'm really depressed, but I think it's more that I just really don't want to do any reading. I guess it's about that time though... Fed tax of business entities isn't going to read itself.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Classroom Distraction
The internet is the classic law school distractor. After the first week of 1L year, when everyone has given up the valiant effort to not look at the internet during class, it's almost impossible to make it through an hour without checking email, or people.com (or if you're feeling especially mentally engaged, cnn.com or wsj.com). Given that I now spend more time reading blogs than reading casebooks (omg, that just hit me), I always assumed the biggest distraction of the semester while pregnant would be the internet.
So far, I can pay attention except when Uno starts kicking and doing gymnastics during class... I feel like my whole mid-section is going to explode, and then I start seeing it out of the corner of my eye. I start wondering if everyone around me is looking at my stomach and thinking that the baby might rip his way right through my skin. Then I find myself staring at my stomach in case I catch a particularly big kick (because it looks so creepy!).
As distracting as it is to feel the incessant kicking, it's 50 times worse if he's not kicking. At the end of last week, there were about two days where he barely moved at all (or at least it seemed that way). I, of course, started freaking out and wondering if I should call my doctor. But right when I would work up the strength (a.k.a. find the time) to call, I would feel the faintest movement. But then I would worry that it wasn't as strong or frequent as before. I know that at some point in the pregnancy, you are supposed to call the doctor and report this kind of stuff... but I'm still in the second trimester and I am not sure it's really necessary now. Plus, I haven't had any problems or complications yet, so I just always assume everything is probably fine. Regardless, it obviously ended up fine this time, because he's as active as ever. For those few days though, I would sit in class and try really hard (and fail) to keep my hands off my belly, hoping I would feel some kicks. It's all I could think about while I was sitting there.
So anyway, I have a love-hate relationship with feeling the baby kick.
As a side note, my belly is also growing exponentially each week. I really hate when people make comments about it, and so far I have staved off any attempts to touch my belly, but the most annoying part is finding clothes to fit over it. I can still wear some of my normal shirts that happened to be longer, but even those are starting to get dangerously close to showing skin above my sexy, elastic waistbanded pants (which I also hate ... they DO NOT make maternity pants for tall women, or women who don't like ugly pants). The good thing is, my belly size is completely unrelated to my weight in my mind. To be honest, I don't weigh myself and don't really care about the number on the scale ... I haven't worked out once since the beginning of May, and have eaten whatever the hell I want to, although that's not usually junk food ... I never really thought I would be able to control how much my body gains while pregnant (especially after hearing several stories from friends, doctors and my mom, I think it's mostly a matter of genetics). I also haven't had the time or energy to focus on that, and I think that helps keep me sane. What makes me crazy is the thought of having to buy more ugly maternity shirts and/or sweaters!
So far, I can pay attention except when Uno starts kicking and doing gymnastics during class... I feel like my whole mid-section is going to explode, and then I start seeing it out of the corner of my eye. I start wondering if everyone around me is looking at my stomach and thinking that the baby might rip his way right through my skin. Then I find myself staring at my stomach in case I catch a particularly big kick (because it looks so creepy!).
As distracting as it is to feel the incessant kicking, it's 50 times worse if he's not kicking. At the end of last week, there were about two days where he barely moved at all (or at least it seemed that way). I, of course, started freaking out and wondering if I should call my doctor. But right when I would work up the strength (a.k.a. find the time) to call, I would feel the faintest movement. But then I would worry that it wasn't as strong or frequent as before. I know that at some point in the pregnancy, you are supposed to call the doctor and report this kind of stuff... but I'm still in the second trimester and I am not sure it's really necessary now. Plus, I haven't had any problems or complications yet, so I just always assume everything is probably fine. Regardless, it obviously ended up fine this time, because he's as active as ever. For those few days though, I would sit in class and try really hard (and fail) to keep my hands off my belly, hoping I would feel some kicks. It's all I could think about while I was sitting there.
So anyway, I have a love-hate relationship with feeling the baby kick.
As a side note, my belly is also growing exponentially each week. I really hate when people make comments about it, and so far I have staved off any attempts to touch my belly, but the most annoying part is finding clothes to fit over it. I can still wear some of my normal shirts that happened to be longer, but even those are starting to get dangerously close to showing skin above my sexy, elastic waistbanded pants (which I also hate ... they DO NOT make maternity pants for tall women, or women who don't like ugly pants). The good thing is, my belly size is completely unrelated to my weight in my mind. To be honest, I don't weigh myself and don't really care about the number on the scale ... I haven't worked out once since the beginning of May, and have eaten whatever the hell I want to, although that's not usually junk food ... I never really thought I would be able to control how much my body gains while pregnant (especially after hearing several stories from friends, doctors and my mom, I think it's mostly a matter of genetics). I also haven't had the time or energy to focus on that, and I think that helps keep me sane. What makes me crazy is the thought of having to buy more ugly maternity shirts and/or sweaters!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Maternity Leave - Law School Style
Today, I spoke with the Academic Dean about how my current situation will affect my presence at school over the next few months. I didn't want to meet with anyone, but a girl who had a baby between semesters last year at my school recommended it. I'm sorry I took that advice.
The Academic dean is a woman, with four kids of her own. She started the conversation by telling me that her 4th child was born 6 weeks early, right in the middle of finals, and she had to change exam questions and talk to first-years from labor and delivery. Her first child was born 4 weeks early. So I assumed that I would at least have a sympathetic ear (and sympathy plus power is something I always want on my side).
But after telling me these stories (which I assume must have been told with the purpose of scaring me), she offered me nothing. I will have four finals this semester... as scheduled, there are two on the 8th of December, one on the 10th and one on the 11th. My due date is December 26th, so I would have a little over two weeks between finals and baby if everything goes according to plan. As a matter of course, if you have two finals on the same day, you're allowed to petition to move one of them to the next available day. Obviously, I don't want to move a final from the 8th to a later day, but she acted like it might be too much to ask to move that exam earlier. Ugh. Regardless, I wasn't seeking any "help" (unless I end up needing it) but I expected them to offer more.
This semester is not what worries me. I figure that the chances I'm more than two weeks early are not high ... if it happens, I can always push back finals or take them and not give a shit what my grades are. So no big deal. But starting classes next semester is another thing. Classes start January 12th. Even if I deliver on my due date, I have barely over 2 weeks before school starts. If I'm a week or so late, that's down to one week. Even assuming a perfectly fine labor and no complications, I think I would probably want more time than that to recover and bond with Uno before I have to go to school for stupid classes I don't care about anyway. I plan on taking at least 1, maybe 2, weeks off at the beginning unless I really feel ready to go back. The only problem is my school has an idiotic attendance policy. Professors are supposed to take attendance, and if you miss more than 6 hours of a 3-credit class during a semester, they can technically drop you. When I asked the dean what to do about all of this, she said "I wouldn't miss class." I wanted to scream at her. Shake her. Show her how insignificant her classes and academic policies are in my life. But instead, I just made a mental note to talk directly to professors when the time comes and never to seek her help again.
Yeah, so the plan for now is to try to not fail my finals and not have the baby before December 11th. Then, I will hope and pray that he decides to make his debut sometime shortly thereafter so I have plenty of time before going back to school. The 18 weeks of paid maternity leave at my future firm sounds pretty amazing right about now :(
The Academic dean is a woman, with four kids of her own. She started the conversation by telling me that her 4th child was born 6 weeks early, right in the middle of finals, and she had to change exam questions and talk to first-years from labor and delivery. Her first child was born 4 weeks early. So I assumed that I would at least have a sympathetic ear (and sympathy plus power is something I always want on my side).
But after telling me these stories (which I assume must have been told with the purpose of scaring me), she offered me nothing. I will have four finals this semester... as scheduled, there are two on the 8th of December, one on the 10th and one on the 11th. My due date is December 26th, so I would have a little over two weeks between finals and baby if everything goes according to plan. As a matter of course, if you have two finals on the same day, you're allowed to petition to move one of them to the next available day. Obviously, I don't want to move a final from the 8th to a later day, but she acted like it might be too much to ask to move that exam earlier. Ugh. Regardless, I wasn't seeking any "help" (unless I end up needing it) but I expected them to offer more.
This semester is not what worries me. I figure that the chances I'm more than two weeks early are not high ... if it happens, I can always push back finals or take them and not give a shit what my grades are. So no big deal. But starting classes next semester is another thing. Classes start January 12th. Even if I deliver on my due date, I have barely over 2 weeks before school starts. If I'm a week or so late, that's down to one week. Even assuming a perfectly fine labor and no complications, I think I would probably want more time than that to recover and bond with Uno before I have to go to school for stupid classes I don't care about anyway. I plan on taking at least 1, maybe 2, weeks off at the beginning unless I really feel ready to go back. The only problem is my school has an idiotic attendance policy. Professors are supposed to take attendance, and if you miss more than 6 hours of a 3-credit class during a semester, they can technically drop you. When I asked the dean what to do about all of this, she said "I wouldn't miss class." I wanted to scream at her. Shake her. Show her how insignificant her classes and academic policies are in my life. But instead, I just made a mental note to talk directly to professors when the time comes and never to seek her help again.
Yeah, so the plan for now is to try to not fail my finals and not have the baby before December 11th. Then, I will hope and pray that he decides to make his debut sometime shortly thereafter so I have plenty of time before going back to school. The 18 weeks of paid maternity leave at my future firm sounds pretty amazing right about now :(
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Pregnancy Is Not the New Engagement... at least on facebook
When I got engaged, my wall was bombarded with "congratulations" and "that's so exciting, I'm so happy for you!" Same thing when I got married. I noticed something different as people have found out that I'm pregnant ... very few people say anything on my wall; instead, everyone chooses to send messages. For anyone who doesn't use facebook (how do you survive without it?), posting a message on someone's "wall" is public and everyone can read it, but sending a message is like a private, email message. So basically, people still say congratulations on a pregnancy, but they only do it in private.
In fact, this reminds me of another difference. People send greeting cards in the mail upon news of pregnancy, but I don't think I got a single card when I got engaged. Wedding cards usually served as gifts, so I don't think those are comparable. What makes the announcement (not even the birth) of a pregnancy more deserving of mail?
Why is that? It's nice to receive a congratulatory message no matter how you receive it. I was thinking of all the possible differences between these life events that would explain the different treatment... here's what I came up with:
* They can't be positive that the rumors are true, so they don't want to publicly call me "pregnant" if in fact I just got fatter (only in the belly region, developing a spherical shape)...but then why do the messages say "congratulations!"???
* People aren't sure whether this was planned, so they don't know whether to be unabashedly excited or sympathetic?
* Pregnancy seems more intimate or private because of all the sex and body changes that must be involved?
* My peers just can't be as excited about pregnancy as engagements or weddings because it's that much further away from their personal experience or situation in their lives?
* Babies are less romantic than weddings?
So, I actually don't have too many explanations for it, but it all seems pretty weird and comical to me.
In fact, this reminds me of another difference. People send greeting cards in the mail upon news of pregnancy, but I don't think I got a single card when I got engaged. Wedding cards usually served as gifts, so I don't think those are comparable. What makes the announcement (not even the birth) of a pregnancy more deserving of mail?
Why is that? It's nice to receive a congratulatory message no matter how you receive it. I was thinking of all the possible differences between these life events that would explain the different treatment... here's what I came up with:
* They can't be positive that the rumors are true, so they don't want to publicly call me "pregnant" if in fact I just got fatter (only in the belly region, developing a spherical shape)...but then why do the messages say "congratulations!"???
* People aren't sure whether this was planned, so they don't know whether to be unabashedly excited or sympathetic?
* Pregnancy seems more intimate or private because of all the sex and body changes that must be involved?
* My peers just can't be as excited about pregnancy as engagements or weddings because it's that much further away from their personal experience or situation in their lives?
* Babies are less romantic than weddings?
So, I actually don't have too many explanations for it, but it all seems pretty weird and comical to me.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Infuriating Debate
I generally dislike formal debates on hot social issues... it just seems like people blindly adhere to whatever beliefs they started with, bring up the same old arguments and get really offended by everything the other side has to say. Plus, it kind of seems like it doesn't matter most of the time; for example, people have been debating abortion and pro-choice/pro-life for as long as I can remember, and nothing has changed in that time and I doubt anything will in the near future. It's not that I cannot appreciate the significance these issues may have for individuals, I just don't see the point of featuring them so prominently in political debates, especially in election season when there are SOOOOO many other pressing issues that will actually need to be dealt with in the next 4 or 8 years.
Nevertheless, I do enjoy listening to debates on issues that I care about when the people arguing are just speaking their mind and trying to convince their audience that they're right for the sake of the cause.
Today, my school hosted two speakers debating Gay Marriage. Of course, while it is currently a hot social topic, it is actually relevant to every California citizen because it's a proposition on our ballot this fall. I wasn't going there with an open mind ... I can't say I have heard one good argument for why we should ban gay marriage ... but I am always curious as to what the other side will say (and to hear what new arguments are put forth in support of my beliefs). The woman arguing against gay marriage (and thus in favor of the proposition) seemed like a complete wacko. Her main argument was that gay marriage is bad for CA citizens because it will harm children. According to her, allowing gay and lesbian people to marry means sanctioning the upbringing of children by necessarily ripping them away from one or both of their biological parents. Of course, she sees this as devastatingly detrimental to the health of the children* but then somehow tried to distinguish adoption or IVF by heterosexual couples. She also avoided the issue of all the children born to single mothers, deadbeat dads and unstable heterosexual couples, seemingly assuming that all married straight people raise their own biological children in completely loving and safe households.
Neither side really mentioned the fundamental injustice and inequality that restricting marriage to straight people would effect. Since the CA Supreme Court found that preventing gay and lesbian couples from marrying was unconstitutional, the proposition essentially re-drafts the Constitution to make this discrimination constitutional. (This might be a good time to say that one of her secondary arguments for why we should ban gay marriage is that the last thing California needs is another protected class, giving them the right to sue over "all kinds of things.")
The guy speaking in favor of gay marriage made a good legal argument I thought... Part of what the Court relied on in making its decision was precedent from cases regarding interracial marriage, where the Court held that people should be free to marry the person whom they choose. At that time, opponents of interracial marriage were attempting to frame the issue definitionally, as opponents of gay marriage are now.
I left the debate completely pissed off that this is still such an issue. If this woman was the best that side can produce to argue why these people should be treated so differently with regard to a fundamental right, then how the hell do so many people agree?! and if there are better arguments in support of her position, why wouldn't they be in the public discourse? I have to conclude that most of this country either doesn't want to think rationally about the issue or they will just continue to adhere blindly to whatever propaganda their religion or community tells them to believe. That is completely contrary to the spirit of democracy, which is infuriating.
*I tend to agree that it probably is good (all other things being equal) for a child to be raised by both a father and a mother in a stable household. However, I think that gay and lesbian couples can make just as good of parents and if it is a detriment to not have both a mother and a father, maybe the child gets a different benefit that kids of straight couples do not. I don't trust the validity of any study that claims as a fact that kids will suffer without the traditional mother-father-child environment... they aren't comparing that to a father-father-child or mother-mother-child environment. Even if a study did compare these families, I don't think it's fair to compare a married heterosexual couple with children to a gay or lesbian couple with children because the gay couple does not enjoy legal sanction in the law or acceptance by much of society.
Nevertheless, I do enjoy listening to debates on issues that I care about when the people arguing are just speaking their mind and trying to convince their audience that they're right for the sake of the cause.
Today, my school hosted two speakers debating Gay Marriage. Of course, while it is currently a hot social topic, it is actually relevant to every California citizen because it's a proposition on our ballot this fall. I wasn't going there with an open mind ... I can't say I have heard one good argument for why we should ban gay marriage ... but I am always curious as to what the other side will say (and to hear what new arguments are put forth in support of my beliefs). The woman arguing against gay marriage (and thus in favor of the proposition) seemed like a complete wacko. Her main argument was that gay marriage is bad for CA citizens because it will harm children. According to her, allowing gay and lesbian people to marry means sanctioning the upbringing of children by necessarily ripping them away from one or both of their biological parents. Of course, she sees this as devastatingly detrimental to the health of the children* but then somehow tried to distinguish adoption or IVF by heterosexual couples. She also avoided the issue of all the children born to single mothers, deadbeat dads and unstable heterosexual couples, seemingly assuming that all married straight people raise their own biological children in completely loving and safe households.
Neither side really mentioned the fundamental injustice and inequality that restricting marriage to straight people would effect. Since the CA Supreme Court found that preventing gay and lesbian couples from marrying was unconstitutional, the proposition essentially re-drafts the Constitution to make this discrimination constitutional. (This might be a good time to say that one of her secondary arguments for why we should ban gay marriage is that the last thing California needs is another protected class, giving them the right to sue over "all kinds of things.")
The guy speaking in favor of gay marriage made a good legal argument I thought... Part of what the Court relied on in making its decision was precedent from cases regarding interracial marriage, where the Court held that people should be free to marry the person whom they choose. At that time, opponents of interracial marriage were attempting to frame the issue definitionally, as opponents of gay marriage are now.
I left the debate completely pissed off that this is still such an issue. If this woman was the best that side can produce to argue why these people should be treated so differently with regard to a fundamental right, then how the hell do so many people agree?! and if there are better arguments in support of her position, why wouldn't they be in the public discourse? I have to conclude that most of this country either doesn't want to think rationally about the issue or they will just continue to adhere blindly to whatever propaganda their religion or community tells them to believe. That is completely contrary to the spirit of democracy, which is infuriating.
*I tend to agree that it probably is good (all other things being equal) for a child to be raised by both a father and a mother in a stable household. However, I think that gay and lesbian couples can make just as good of parents and if it is a detriment to not have both a mother and a father, maybe the child gets a different benefit that kids of straight couples do not. I don't trust the validity of any study that claims as a fact that kids will suffer without the traditional mother-father-child environment... they aren't comparing that to a father-father-child or mother-mother-child environment. Even if a study did compare these families, I don't think it's fair to compare a married heterosexual couple with children to a gay or lesbian couple with children because the gay couple does not enjoy legal sanction in the law or acceptance by much of society.
Seven Years Ago
I can't believe it has already been seven years since September 11, 2001. I'm sure that date will be considered a turning point in history books and it was definitely a turning point in my life.
I was a freshman at Columbia University and had been a resident of Manhattan for less than 3 weeks. I remember that I was getting ready for class and listening to a CD. My dorm phone rang, and it was a friend who told me that her mom had just called her and said that a plane flew into the World Trade Center. At that point in my life, I was not that aware of international politics and barely even knew who al qaeda was. It didn't matter anyway, because I pictured a small little commuter jet accidentally flying into the antennae on top of the building. It might have been the urgency in her voice that made me wander to the community TV room at the opposite end of our dorm floor. Once I saw what was going on, I was petrified. Somewhere in the shock, I remember feeling angry that I would never get to go to the top of the World Trade Center... I had just been telling my roommate the night before that we should go the next weekend. The skyline of the city I had just moved to and loved already was ruined forever. Then I looked around at all the new friends I had made, and was terrified that these attacks were like Pearl Harbor and would result in a full-scale war, sending all of my male friends to some theater of war far away.
After about 20 minutes, I returned to my dorm room to see what I should do next. This was the first time I opened my window... All I could see was thick black smoke. Columbia is in upper Manhattan, about 12 miles from Ground Zero, so I wasn't THAT close, but it sure felt close that day. For about a week, there was too much ash to breath outside. The 1/9 train (which runs through Columbia's neighborhood down to the old site of the World Trade Center) was shut down for a while. The only thing I could hear was sirens for those first days.
While pretty much everything in New York shut down and was in a standstill, Columbia still held all the classes that day. I went to my literature humanities class that morning and discussed the Iliad for two hours. I had volleyball practice that afternoon. (or at least the team tried to hold practice... a few of the older girls on the team had known recent graduates who worked in the Towers, so they couldn't function, and it turned into a crying spectacle).
It was the first time in my life that something profoundly affected me just by virtue of it happening in my lifetime. I had just moved to the city and I still felt like a visitor. I didn't know anyone personally that died that day. I was physically fine. My immediate surroundings didn't change at all. But this wave of sadness just swept over me that day and I'm not really sure when it dissipated. It comes right back every September 11th and I feel just like I did that morning. I remember talking to people from home and they all made comments about how I picked the wrong time to move to New York ... but I was so glad that I could consider myself a New Yorker that day. It was some sort of bond I had with those millions of people. And it was really amazing to see the fundamental change in every New Yorker for the period of time following September 11th... how everyone forgot their differences for a while and just supported one another to get through that horrible time.
Almost everything else seemed trivial at the time and for a while, it seemed like everyone would use the attacks to stop their petty fighting and unite together. Of course, we all know now that it soon became a political tool and created deeper divisions in the American people. Now, it's almost comical how politicians throw out "9/11" and "our homeland was attacked" to garner support and applause. I hope we never forget the people who actually lost their lives that day and all the rest of us who lost the peace and innocence of our lives that day.
I was a freshman at Columbia University and had been a resident of Manhattan for less than 3 weeks. I remember that I was getting ready for class and listening to a CD. My dorm phone rang, and it was a friend who told me that her mom had just called her and said that a plane flew into the World Trade Center. At that point in my life, I was not that aware of international politics and barely even knew who al qaeda was. It didn't matter anyway, because I pictured a small little commuter jet accidentally flying into the antennae on top of the building. It might have been the urgency in her voice that made me wander to the community TV room at the opposite end of our dorm floor. Once I saw what was going on, I was petrified. Somewhere in the shock, I remember feeling angry that I would never get to go to the top of the World Trade Center... I had just been telling my roommate the night before that we should go the next weekend. The skyline of the city I had just moved to and loved already was ruined forever. Then I looked around at all the new friends I had made, and was terrified that these attacks were like Pearl Harbor and would result in a full-scale war, sending all of my male friends to some theater of war far away.
After about 20 minutes, I returned to my dorm room to see what I should do next. This was the first time I opened my window... All I could see was thick black smoke. Columbia is in upper Manhattan, about 12 miles from Ground Zero, so I wasn't THAT close, but it sure felt close that day. For about a week, there was too much ash to breath outside. The 1/9 train (which runs through Columbia's neighborhood down to the old site of the World Trade Center) was shut down for a while. The only thing I could hear was sirens for those first days.
While pretty much everything in New York shut down and was in a standstill, Columbia still held all the classes that day. I went to my literature humanities class that morning and discussed the Iliad for two hours. I had volleyball practice that afternoon. (or at least the team tried to hold practice... a few of the older girls on the team had known recent graduates who worked in the Towers, so they couldn't function, and it turned into a crying spectacle).
It was the first time in my life that something profoundly affected me just by virtue of it happening in my lifetime. I had just moved to the city and I still felt like a visitor. I didn't know anyone personally that died that day. I was physically fine. My immediate surroundings didn't change at all. But this wave of sadness just swept over me that day and I'm not really sure when it dissipated. It comes right back every September 11th and I feel just like I did that morning. I remember talking to people from home and they all made comments about how I picked the wrong time to move to New York ... but I was so glad that I could consider myself a New Yorker that day. It was some sort of bond I had with those millions of people. And it was really amazing to see the fundamental change in every New Yorker for the period of time following September 11th... how everyone forgot their differences for a while and just supported one another to get through that horrible time.
Almost everything else seemed trivial at the time and for a while, it seemed like everyone would use the attacks to stop their petty fighting and unite together. Of course, we all know now that it soon became a political tool and created deeper divisions in the American people. Now, it's almost comical how politicians throw out "9/11" and "our homeland was attacked" to garner support and applause. I hope we never forget the people who actually lost their lives that day and all the rest of us who lost the peace and innocence of our lives that day.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Weird Side Effect
When I found out I was pregnant, I mentally prepared myself for morning sickness, uncontrollable weight gain, hormone-induced-craziness, enhanced sense of smell, weird and uncontrollable cravings, unfortunate food aversions, swelling and all of the other usual suspects. With the possible exception of craziness (it's not really fair for me to be the objective judge on that one, but I maintain that I'm normal), I have experienced none of these. I will concede that I was more tired than usual, but I'm not even entirely convinced that this was due to pregnancy rather than taking final exams and being a summer associate.
I do however, get all of the weird ("a few women may experience") symptoms. I am apparently one of the few who's sex drive went down instead of up, who's skin became more prone to breakouts, and now this...
I woke up yesterday with the first bloody nose of my life. Back in June, I thought I was getting a sinus infection, and upon googling it, I figured out that it must be Pregnancy Rhinitis. But that went away pretty quickly. This came out of nowhere too. Upon googling "nosebleed pregnancy" I realized I have another apparently common side effect of pregnancy... nosebleeds?! Who would have thought?
Granted, these two things are probably related... but really, how can these be that common if I've never heard of it before?! No wonder pregnant women are always so paranoid!
I do however, get all of the weird ("a few women may experience") symptoms. I am apparently one of the few who's sex drive went down instead of up, who's skin became more prone to breakouts, and now this...
I woke up yesterday with the first bloody nose of my life. Back in June, I thought I was getting a sinus infection, and upon googling it, I figured out that it must be Pregnancy Rhinitis. But that went away pretty quickly. This came out of nowhere too. Upon googling "nosebleed pregnancy" I realized I have another apparently common side effect of pregnancy... nosebleeds?! Who would have thought?
Granted, these two things are probably related... but really, how can these be that common if I've never heard of it before?! No wonder pregnant women are always so paranoid!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Home Improvement
PJO (and I, sort of) recently refurbished our bedroom furniture. We didn't want to buy a real bedroom set yet because we can't afford it and we're not living in the place we want to stay long enough to know what to get for a permanent set. So, I thought we could buy cheaper furniture and stain it all to match. He had bought a dresser when we moved out to California two years earlier from this place that is a discount store which makes pretty generic looking stuff from real wood. It's not the best craftsmanship, but so far it seems sturdy and looks decent. Plus, it is very reasonably priced. So I decided to get a dresser and nightstand in a matching style to his dresser.
PJO's dresser was finished in a fairly light stain and I wanted to end up with dark cherry or mahogany stain, so I ordered mine unfinished. That meant that we had to sand down PJO's dresser and then stain all three and put a protective coat on them. Needless to say, it was a lot more work than we anticipated.
Here are my nightstand and dresser before we started, and the little helper (Furious George) who had to crawl in EVERY drawer space after we pulled out the drawer from the dresser.
It ended up taking several coats of stain, plus two (or three? I can't remember) coats of polyurethane. It took a week to dry and even then, we were afraid to put it on the carpet, hence, the cardboard and plastic underneath the furniture once it was on the carpet.
Overall, I'm pretty proud of ourselves! They aren't perfect, but they look pretty good (especially without the light of the flash on them) and we didn't waste a ton of money on furniture that we don't really need. My husband is so handy! ;)
PJO's dresser was finished in a fairly light stain and I wanted to end up with dark cherry or mahogany stain, so I ordered mine unfinished. That meant that we had to sand down PJO's dresser and then stain all three and put a protective coat on them. Needless to say, it was a lot more work than we anticipated.
Here are my nightstand and dresser before we started, and the little helper (Furious George) who had to crawl in EVERY drawer space after we pulled out the drawer from the dresser.
It ended up taking several coats of stain, plus two (or three? I can't remember) coats of polyurethane. It took a week to dry and even then, we were afraid to put it on the carpet, hence, the cardboard and plastic underneath the furniture once it was on the carpet.
Overall, I'm pretty proud of ourselves! They aren't perfect, but they look pretty good (especially without the light of the flash on them) and we didn't waste a ton of money on furniture that we don't really need. My husband is so handy! ;)
Foundation for a Nursery
This past weekend, we finished unpacking the apartment. Well, really we had finished that a while ago, but we had a second bedroom full of all the crap that we couldn't find a place for (or just hadn't tried to put away yet) but couldn't face throwing away. After strategically stuffing the closet in the second bedroom and our bedroom as well as throwing out some stuff, we finally had cleared out the room.
PJO and I were eager to change this room from "useless second bedroom" to nursery. In part, this was because we are excited to set it up and prepare for our baby. (Perhaps in bigger) part, it was because we weren't sure how long we would be able to keep this room clear of clutter.
At Home Depot, we selected a gallon of Fresh Aire paint in the color closest to the nursery theme we settled on, "Endless Rain." From the moment we started taping the walls and putting down the canvas floor covering until we had finished painting, only a few hours had elapsed. It was fun (except for wearing those masks) and I think it turned out pretty well.
It's funny ... I can totally picture the room as a nursery now that it's painted, but I still can't really believe that the nursery will be in OUR apartment, sandwiched right in between OUR bedroom and living room. Surprisingly, I don't feel that much urgency to buy the furniture that will go in the nursery to complete it yet*, but it is really nice to start letting myself get used to the idea that in a matter of months, we're going to have a family in our little apartment!
*This may not be surprising to anyone else; after all, I still have almost 4 months to go until my due date. I'm not saying I'm rational or normal, I'm just saying I'm a type-A planner type who usually likes to do everything as far in advance as possible. I justified painting so early by convincing myself that (a) it's better to do anything involving physical work earlier rather than later, (b) I will have more time for this fun stuff in the beginning of the semester, and (c) it's better to make sure all the fumes from painting have plenty of time to dissipate before a baby is sleeping in that room. There isn't really a similar justification for doing anything further, except possibly to train my cats to stay out of the crib ;)
PJO and I were eager to change this room from "useless second bedroom" to nursery. In part, this was because we are excited to set it up and prepare for our baby. (Perhaps in bigger) part, it was because we weren't sure how long we would be able to keep this room clear of clutter.
At Home Depot, we selected a gallon of Fresh Aire paint in the color closest to the nursery theme we settled on, "Endless Rain." From the moment we started taping the walls and putting down the canvas floor covering until we had finished painting, only a few hours had elapsed. It was fun (except for wearing those masks) and I think it turned out pretty well.
It's funny ... I can totally picture the room as a nursery now that it's painted, but I still can't really believe that the nursery will be in OUR apartment, sandwiched right in between OUR bedroom and living room. Surprisingly, I don't feel that much urgency to buy the furniture that will go in the nursery to complete it yet*, but it is really nice to start letting myself get used to the idea that in a matter of months, we're going to have a family in our little apartment!
*This may not be surprising to anyone else; after all, I still have almost 4 months to go until my due date. I'm not saying I'm rational or normal, I'm just saying I'm a type-A planner type who usually likes to do everything as far in advance as possible. I justified painting so early by convincing myself that (a) it's better to do anything involving physical work earlier rather than later, (b) I will have more time for this fun stuff in the beginning of the semester, and (c) it's better to make sure all the fumes from painting have plenty of time to dissipate before a baby is sleeping in that room. There isn't really a similar justification for doing anything further, except possibly to train my cats to stay out of the crib ;)
Monday, September 8, 2008
Happy Birthday, Google
Today I saw this link on CNN and I suddenly felt both very old and incredibly young in the same instant. Google has now been around for 10 years! I can't really imagine my life without it... I mean, I would be lost without Gmail, google docs, gchat and picasa, not to mention my new-found addiction to blogger. But seriously, what did I do when I had a question, or needed directions, or wanted to find out about a restaurant or salon before I could google it?!
I have vague recollections of "researching" a report in 3rd grade by looking up the listing for "Spain" in my Encyclopedia Britannica set. I also remember thinking that the kids with the CD-ROM version of the Encyclopedia were lucky and that the CD-ROM must have a boundless wealth of information. So, in some ways, I feel like Google has been around forever and therefore I must be old (since I can barely remember life before it). But then I think, my life has been changed this drastically in the past ten years by technology...I was still young enough when Google launched for it to completely shape my formative internet (and college) years, so I must be young and gen-Y. After all, ten years is a relatively short period of time. What will happen ten years from now?! And what will be commonplace for my kids that would just blow my mind today?
I have vague recollections of "researching" a report in 3rd grade by looking up the listing for "Spain" in my Encyclopedia Britannica set. I also remember thinking that the kids with the CD-ROM version of the Encyclopedia were lucky and that the CD-ROM must have a boundless wealth of information. So, in some ways, I feel like Google has been around forever and therefore I must be old (since I can barely remember life before it). But then I think, my life has been changed this drastically in the past ten years by technology...I was still young enough when Google launched for it to completely shape my formative internet (and college) years, so I must be young and gen-Y. After all, ten years is a relatively short period of time. What will happen ten years from now?! And what will be commonplace for my kids that would just blow my mind today?
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Top Ten Things You Can't Do While Pregnant
10. Drink Coffee or caffeine
9. Poop
8. Go on Amusement Park rides (and apparently even catamarans ... I was not supposed to go on the catamaran in Hawaii, but I did not volunteer the fact that I was pregnant)
7. Eat sushi or delicious cheese
6. Take advil or any other effective drug
5. Do pilates (or exercise lying flat on your back)...um, not that I've been to the gym once in the past 4 months, but it sounds good if I'm sad I can't do it...)
4. Sleep comfortably
3. Wear sexy clothes ... or even just NORMAL clothes
2. Go a month without seeing a doctor / go a week without thinking you should call a doctor
1. Drink alcohol (really, I could have made a top ten list of all the different wines, beers and mixed drinks I wish I could drink, but I don't want to sound like a lush)
9. Poop
8. Go on Amusement Park rides (and apparently even catamarans ... I was not supposed to go on the catamaran in Hawaii, but I did not volunteer the fact that I was pregnant)
7. Eat sushi or delicious cheese
6. Take advil or any other effective drug
5. Do pilates (or exercise lying flat on your back)...um, not that I've been to the gym once in the past 4 months, but it sounds good if I'm sad I can't do it...)
4. Sleep comfortably
3. Wear sexy clothes ... or even just NORMAL clothes
2. Go a month without seeing a doctor / go a week without thinking you should call a doctor
1. Drink alcohol (really, I could have made a top ten list of all the different wines, beers and mixed drinks I wish I could drink, but I don't want to sound like a lush)
Friday, September 5, 2008
24 Weeks
Today I am 24 weeks pregnant and I had a doctor's appointment before class ... it was the much-dreaded glucose test. I had heard horror stories about these sickly-sugary liquids that you have to drink on an empty stomach, and fully prepared myself for gagging and an insurmountable crash thereafter. I don't know if the stuff has gotten better, or if my tolerance for sugar is dangerously high, but it wasn't that bad. I had the red/fruit punch flavor, and I refrigerated it prior to drinking. To me, it tasted like a carbonated Hawaiian Punch (are those carbonated?). I got to the doctor's office, they weighed me (I have gained about 9-10 pounds) and they took blood and blood pressure.
Then I met with my doctor. I have no actual complaints (i.e. things that I think are not semi-normal) and had no questions. She asked me if I have been feeling the baby move, and I told her that I have, AND I can actually see him kicking sometimes! (a new development this week). She seemed kind of shocked that I could see it so early, but I have no idea if it's actually early or not. But then she said, "so you're feeling good, not lifting anything too heavy?" Since I was heading to school after, my backpack was in the room at her feet. I looked at it and said "is that heavy?" She pretended to try and pick it up, and then GLARED at me, and said, "MUCH too heavy... You cannot carry that." I really don't think it's heavy, but I am not so stubborn as to continue to carry a backpack (not even that cool anyway) at the risk of having to spend time in the hospital, so I'm going to look into a rolling laptop bag/suitcase this weekend (decidedly less cool than any other option, but then again, I guess being pregnant is not exactly "cool" at law school anyway).
After this, I got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time! I don't know how I missed this earlier, I guess because I always just had ultrasounds, but it was pretty cool. We heard the heartbeat ("a strong, steady 160 bpm") and she said a few of the noises were the baby kicking. She said, "wow, he IS moving a lot!"
So, the appointment was good. It was my first one without PJO, so I'm sad he didn't get to hear the heartbeat, but I guess with so many appointments in our future left, he'll hear it at some point.
Next on my to-do list is schedule tours of the two hospitals to decide on one for delivery (they're about 4 blocks away from each other, both walking distance from my apartment). I guess we'll sign up for a child birth class too, although that does not sound exciting at all. Supposedly my doctor will talk about finding a pediatrician at the next appointment in 3 weeks, so that will be interesting.
I'm already completely behind my school work... not that I really care, although I probably should. Until now, getting the apartment unpacked and organized has completely consumed all my free time and energy. It took longer than it ever has before because we had to wait for furniture to be delivered so we could put stuff away. But now, everything is done except for the nursery. We might actually paint this weekend to get that out of the way. I don't think we'll get any nursery furniture for a while, but it will be nice to be able to just put stuff in there when we feel like buying it, rather than waiting to paint then. My plan was to be on top of school early, so that when I inevitably stop caring closer to the due date, I will still know SOMETHING for the finals. We'll see if I can pull it together this weekend.
Then I met with my doctor. I have no actual complaints (i.e. things that I think are not semi-normal) and had no questions. She asked me if I have been feeling the baby move, and I told her that I have, AND I can actually see him kicking sometimes! (a new development this week). She seemed kind of shocked that I could see it so early, but I have no idea if it's actually early or not. But then she said, "so you're feeling good, not lifting anything too heavy?" Since I was heading to school after, my backpack was in the room at her feet. I looked at it and said "is that heavy?" She pretended to try and pick it up, and then GLARED at me, and said, "MUCH too heavy... You cannot carry that." I really don't think it's heavy, but I am not so stubborn as to continue to carry a backpack (not even that cool anyway) at the risk of having to spend time in the hospital, so I'm going to look into a rolling laptop bag/suitcase this weekend (decidedly less cool than any other option, but then again, I guess being pregnant is not exactly "cool" at law school anyway).
After this, I got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time! I don't know how I missed this earlier, I guess because I always just had ultrasounds, but it was pretty cool. We heard the heartbeat ("a strong, steady 160 bpm") and she said a few of the noises were the baby kicking. She said, "wow, he IS moving a lot!"
So, the appointment was good. It was my first one without PJO, so I'm sad he didn't get to hear the heartbeat, but I guess with so many appointments in our future left, he'll hear it at some point.
Next on my to-do list is schedule tours of the two hospitals to decide on one for delivery (they're about 4 blocks away from each other, both walking distance from my apartment). I guess we'll sign up for a child birth class too, although that does not sound exciting at all. Supposedly my doctor will talk about finding a pediatrician at the next appointment in 3 weeks, so that will be interesting.
I'm already completely behind my school work... not that I really care, although I probably should. Until now, getting the apartment unpacked and organized has completely consumed all my free time and energy. It took longer than it ever has before because we had to wait for furniture to be delivered so we could put stuff away. But now, everything is done except for the nursery. We might actually paint this weekend to get that out of the way. I don't think we'll get any nursery furniture for a while, but it will be nice to be able to just put stuff in there when we feel like buying it, rather than waiting to paint then. My plan was to be on top of school early, so that when I inevitably stop caring closer to the due date, I will still know SOMETHING for the finals. We'll see if I can pull it together this weekend.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Happy Anniversary!
Today is our first wedding anniversary! (Yeah, we move fast). It was a great day involving the beach, shopping, brunch with friends and a dinner at the place we ate the night we got engaged. It's weird to think about how much has changed since this time last year, but I'm so glad that everything happened the way it did. I feel so lucky to be married to PJO and for us to be starting our family this year.
The level of love is high tonight!
****
I'm updating these with a couple pictures so that when I look back next year, I'll find them... the first one is of us at dinner.
This is the free anniversary cake that was part of our wedding cake package (which we didn't realize until we called to order it). It's a 6-inch version (well, the same flavor) of our cake (red velvet). We took the obligatory bite of the top layer of our actual cake that had been living in our freezer for a year, but we wanted to remember our wedding cake for how delicious it really was, so we got a new miniature one. It was soooo yummy!
The level of love is high tonight!
****
I'm updating these with a couple pictures so that when I look back next year, I'll find them... the first one is of us at dinner.
This is the free anniversary cake that was part of our wedding cake package (which we didn't realize until we called to order it). It's a 6-inch version (well, the same flavor) of our cake (red velvet). We took the obligatory bite of the top layer of our actual cake that had been living in our freezer for a year, but we wanted to remember our wedding cake for how delicious it really was, so we got a new miniature one. It was soooo yummy!
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