Talking Points

The craziness of packing/moving on top of being a new mom to two has made my already poor blogging record even more abysmal. But, there are always things I plan on writing about that I just run out of time to actually type out, so I'll summarize a few things now.

First, the kind of shitty update - looking for daycare in our new area. Specifically, looking at infant care. This is hard and I am torn about what to write because I'm still not 100% sure what we'll do. The first daycare we looked at had an infant room where the "teachers" were all old women who spoke broken English and ran the room like a factory. Two kids in the swings at a time, two kids in the stroller going for a "walk" through the halls of the building with the woman pushing looking like a dazed robot. A baby lying on the floor with nothing to look at and no one talking to her. In a word, heartbreaking. I understand that if you put a baby in daycare, he or she won't get the kind of personalized attention that he or she would get with a nanny, but it would be nice if one of the caregivers actually took an interest in the baby. So even though this place would have been fine for Timmy, I told PJO we couldn't put Ellie there. I felt no real regret about this since the cost of the infant room was $400 more per month than it would have been at Timmy's current daycare.
So the next place we looked at was better...younger and more engaging teachers holding the babies, talking to them. There was a wider range of ages (still just 0-1 year) so there was some activity/noise in the room. There were more baby toys/playmats so it didn't seem quite so boring. This room has video monitors so that I would be able to watch from work. But still...when the ratio of teachers to babies is 1:4, there is going to be a lot of time that the baby spends on her own. It's not like I spend 100% of my time with Ellie holding her and talking to her, but it just seems so sad to put her in daycare at this age. I know Timmy loves and needs school in his life, so I rarely, if ever, feel guilt over sending him somewhere. But there is no such reasoning in Ellie's case. At least not yet.
This second school seems ok for Timmy too. Not fabulous. It's hard comparing new schools to where he is now because I don't think it's possible for him to have teachers or an environment better for him than where he is right now. I'll miss the Montessori environment and I sort of felt like there was less stimulation and fewer activities for Timmy there. But it's a better move for the family to be down there and I know preschoolers are very adaptable and he'll be taken care of wherever we put him. But is that enough? I want him to thrive and I want teachers who genuinely care about him and want to help him succeed. It's hard to know from a tour whether we'll get that at a new place.
Our third option would be to put Timmy in a preschool and pay my mom to be Ellie's nanny. Almost all Montessori programs where we are moving are toddler and up, so I think there will be some good places for Timmy that we haven't looked at yet since they were lacking an infant room. I love the idea of Ellie being with one-on-one care and not being exposed to daycare germs so young. It would be nice to have someone at home for days when Timmy is sick or just to be able to switch on the crockpot or put dinner in the oven. But I'm not sure I want to hire my mom as an employee (and she needs to make some money to cover her monthly expenses) and I will eventually want Ellie in daycare when she can interact and learn there, so I don't want to screw up my mom's job situation needlessly.

This process is making me realize that it's only going to get harder as my kids get older to move and change up their world. Timmy has only been in this school for 15 months and it actually makes me want to cry thinking about him losing his favorite teachers and friends there. On the other hand, I can't wait to switch Pediatricians. I waited over an hour yesterday for Ellie's 2 month check-up and still have to go back next week for shots because she had a cold.

The good things are much quicker updates.

This week we experienced the best and most important milestone to date in Timmy's short life: He woke up, entertained himself and didn't come get me until 7:30AM. I was making him eggs for breakfast and when I went to put the plate down on the table, I noticed a plate was already there. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was a plastic plate with pretend food on it. His toys were all over the living room. It was an early Christmas miracle!

We are getting ready for our move and should be settled enough to enjoy Christmas and Timmy's birthday in the new place. We have movers hired and some boxes packed. December 5th will be a long day but I am really looking forward to being there.

I finally took the Dr.'s advice and got Ellie up last night for a "dream feed" at 11pm before I went to sleep. I kept her swaddled and she never woke up, then she rewarded me with sleeping until 6am.

PJO and I went to the wedding of a co-worker of mine a few weeks ago. She is marrying the son of a famous party planner, and the wedding was easily the most gorgeous wedding I've ever been to. A former client of the mother-in-law was there...let me just say that Heidi Klum is every bit as gorgeous in person as she is on TV and in magazines. Unbelievable.

After 5 years of hosting a big Thanksgiving dinner at our place, we're taking a break this year. Thursday we'll head to my mom's new house and she's cooking. I'm sure it will be low key and relatively easy. Then we're going to take Timmy to see the Muppets movie. As much as I love the rush of holiday shopping on Black Friday, I'll probably skip that this year in favor of online shopping for the few things we need. I love the holidays!

Things he does that I love

I'm not sure how a more perfect age could possibly exist than two and a half. I find myself melting at things Timmy says or does multiple times a day. Sure, he throws tantrums sometimes or acts irrationally, but honestly, even that can be funny in the execution just because of the sheer ridiculousness.

I've spent even more time with him over the past week and a half than I had planned because he's had to stay home from school with a fever. A doctor visit last Wednesday produced the useless diagnosis of tonsilitis (useless because there is really nothing to do to help it). Then he seemed ok for a few days but the fever was back last night, so we just picked up some augmentin to treat the "secondary infection."

All I know is that even being sick, he's been 95% pure delight. If he had the attention span to watch more than 10 minutes of a movie or tv show, I would go ahead and call him perfect.

At the mention of a birthday party (which seem to be every weekend), he immediately shouts "There will be cake there!"

He similarly gets excited when I tell him we are going to the doctor's office because "There will be a lollipop there!"

He is a ham, and loves singing songs for everyone at full-volume. The latest favorite is skid-dy mer-rink a dinky dink, skid-dy mer-rink y doo, I LOVE YOU! Also popular are Old MacDonald had a farm, the ABCs and Wheels on the Bus.

When looking through birthday cards for friends at Target, he snatched up one with a butterfly on the front and proceeded to recite, word for word, the entire "A Very Hungry Caterpillar" book, complete with dramatic emphasis.

He refers to all of his loved ones as "MY Mommy or MY Daddy or MY Grandma" and constantly wants to "big snuggle" with all of us.

He runs up to me in the middle of playing with his toys to give me a big hug and kiss (including the smooch noise) and then returns to playing as if that was the most natural interlude he could imagine.

If he asks to do something that is a treat (i.e. go look at boats or go to the duck park), he will immediately follow it with the conditions and things we have to do first. So he'll say something like, "take nap first ... yeah, then wake up...yeah, then be a good boy and then go see boats!"

He thrives on being a "big helper" or a "big boy." My favorite example is leaving the house in the morning. This used to be my own personal hell, as it could take up to twenty minutes from leaving the front door of our apartment to getting in the car. Now, if I give him a small bag of trash and ask him to help me throw it away, he takes it proudly, asks me about 10 times "Where the trash room is?" and then goes and dumps it down the trash chute, looking as if he just invented the cure for cancer.

He is sweet and he knows it. Whenever he gives out hugs or kisses, he says "aww, so sweet." He is also becoming more and more empathetic. Anytime he hears or sees a kid crying in public, concern floods his face and he goes to seek out the "baby cryin."

Basically, he is a happy kid. He loves reading books, coloring, riding his bike, putting together puzzles and "playing food." He is cautious and manageable. He also really, really loves to snuggle. He is a mini-PJO.

Let's just say we are more than a little nervous that our baby Airplane will be a mini-Leo. I was a terror baby/toddler/kid/teenager... stubborn, independent, daring and sassy. At one, I climbed to the top of built-in bookshelves and hid from my mom while she was looking everywhere for me, completely panicking and then laughed hysterically when she found me. At a very young age (like 3), I was showing my little brothers how to undo all the child-safety locks, cutting their hair, making up lies and elaborate stories and refusing to follow rules that I wanted to break. Not a bad kid, just one that was extremely difficult to parent. I am soaking up every minute of my easy, loveable and adorable baby boy.

Mini Updates

* Timmy recovered from the stomach virus episode shortly before my mom, the babysitter and I fell victim to it. It was such a rapidly spreading phenomenon; half of his school was out last week with the same symptoms! This week it's the teachers. The scrambling continues, but is much easier to cope with when the little person is happy.

* Despite being (or maybe because he is) healthy, he is showing some serious attitude when pushing boundaries. Whenever I am about to scold him, he says "Seriously?!" in the half-sarcastic, half-rhetorical tone I use all the time when he's being ridiculous. He almost always uses it in just the right place, which makes it SO hard to not give in and laugh.

* It doesn't really count as a funny toddler phrase, but I love how he spells his name right now: "T - I - NEM - Y" sometimes with an "8 - 9" thrown in at the end. He always completes it by clapping his hands, saying Timmy! and pointing to himself.

* The stories he tells and songs he sings are getting more and more entertaining. The other night during bath time, he started telling me about how he's going to take swimming lessons at school. In the pool (which doesn't exist). His teacher is going to be "Betty Boo" who is one of his biggest crushes at school (also happens to be many months younger than him). They will learn to kick and splash and blow bubbles and they'll swim with dolphins, whales, penguins and seals. In the POOL! ("I funny").

* I got on a new deal at work with two of the best supervisors in my office. I love it and really wish I could pick the people I work for and then do so exclusively. Suddenly I'm learning more than I have in the past 6 months and enjoying every minute of it.

* Tomorrow I turn 28. But I'm much more excited about my doctor's appointment the next day because I was told we might be able to find out the sex of baby #2 then. I sort of wish I could just skip tomorrow to find out sooner.

* Both PJO and I have a gut feeling that we're having a girl this time. Last time, my gut feeling said boy and I ended up being right. I honestly have no preference one way or the other. I LOVE little boys and lately I've seen so many families of all boys (3 or 4) where I think, that looks like so much fun and I would be an awesome mom of all boys. A girl would be new and exciting and no one can deny that girls' clothes and accessories are much cuter. I am completely apprehensive about the drama, high emotion, princess-everything and the overload of pink but at least any girl I ever have will grow up with an older brother leading the way. All we ask for is a healthy baby (obviously).

* At least 50% of my wardrobe is now maternity stuff. I'm thankful for a friend who urged me to get a bella band because now I have work pants that will work for a while longer...not many maternity pants come with a '34 - '36 inseam. At least I'm comfortable now, but I still feel awkward walking around with a visible partial belly that's not obviously pregnancy poundage. I'm guessing it won't be long until I'm fully popped out, considering my belly button is mostly there. Gross.

Jumping the Gun

We have a guest room now. Except we don't, it's Timmy's room, but there is a huge bed in there that could easily accommodate adult guests. It doesn't feel right and I have already admitted to myself and to PJO that I think we switched to a "big boy" man bed too early.

When I was pregnant, I thought it was such a good idea(!) that cribs nowadays were convertible. So smart, you could use the same furniture forever!! A great investment. (I didn't really consider the prospect of having to buy another freaking crib someday). So we bought a crib that I loved, but I liked it even more for its flexibility.

Right after the holidays, we converted it to a toddler bed by taking the front railing off. Timmy loved it. All of the sudden, he could climb in and out, bring every book and stuffed animal to cuddle with him, etc...

He adjusted quite easily, except that now our bedtime routine involves staying with him until he falls asleep and then tip-toeing out of the room. Eventually, we'll wean him off this routine, but I wanted the transition to be as non-threatening as possible. If he ever wakes up in the night to come to our room, we learned that we need to take him back to his bed rather than let him into our bed. Otherwise, the night-waking quickly gets out of control with him expecting to sleep with us.

So basically, we got to the point that every night one of us would lie on the floor next to his crib for 15-30 minutes while he fell asleep and then anytime he woke up in the middle of the night. After one particularly bad night when he was sick, I got the brilliant idea to just convert the crib to a full-sized bed. (one long side of the crib becomes the headboard, the other becomes the footboard). That way, we could at least be on a comfy mattress when we were in there with him. Bonus: he would never grow out of the full-sized bed if we did keep it forever. Other bonus: we can always use this bed for a guest room (assuming one day we're fortunate enough to have one). It's a win-win.

So I excitedly ordered the conversion kit online and started perusing the internet for bedding (even though I don't plan on buying any for a while because he still doesn't sleep with a blanket). The kit arrived Friday, and Sunday we bought a mattress and two pillows, plus plain sheets to hold me over until I figure out what bedding to get. We PJO assembled everything Sunday, and as the frame came together, the realization came over me...this was going to be HUGE. When I finished putting the sheets on, I was suddenly so sad for the babyhood that I had unknowingly tossed aside. This bed looked like one that belongs in the room of a 20 year old boy, home for the summer from college. Suddenly, I regretted switching so soon, berating myself for thinking I couldn't handle hanging out on the floor a little bit longer.

Of course Timmy loved it. I don't think he really understood what was going on until the sheets were on, but he immediately wanted UP!!! and bounced around, shrieking with excitement, snuggling furiously on both pillows with all of his stuffed animals close by.

It's too late to switch back, but now I have to make some adjustments to keep him safe in this bed. I never put up a guard rail on the toddler bed because it was like 14 inches off the ground and he never fell out. But this bed is more like 30 inches off the ground, so I need to get something. And he also is just a smidge too short to really get on there by himself regularly. So I want to buy a little step stool so he can do it himself. Getting down is no problem, so it's not like he's trapped there.

I feel guilty for making him work hard just to get into bed. And for not giving him a comfortable, kid room while he is still so young. But damn, my back is not regretful at all for the choice we made!

catching flies with honey

The plus side of being so slow at work right now is having lots of extra time at night with Timmy. Friday night we enjoyed dinner, chatting, singing and bath time together. Once he was all clean and snuggly, we were ready to read a book before bedtime.

I told him that I would read him one book, so he picked out Make Way for Ducklings. He cuddled with me throughout the whole thing, but when I finished the story and put the book away, he sprang to life and asked me to read How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Being the mean mom that I am, I said no.

Immediately, his whole face screwed up and he burst out with the saddest sob I've ever seen. Unless he is getting much better at manipulating me, I think he was just really sad to not get to read the Grinch rather than not getting his way or stalling. I didn't want to end our great night on a bad note, so I said, "Timmy, you want Mommy to read the Grinch?"

He said "Please!" I smiled and said, "Ok, but this is really the last book tonight."
He smiled back at me and said "Thank you!"

He then proceeded to snuggle up to me, and when I said, "the end" he immediately put his head down on the bed and sighed contentedly.

The unprompted "please" and "thank you" (and in the context of something other than asking for a snack) was a first and it made my heart melt. He's always been a sweetheart, but when he shows that he understands why we say certain things and what effect those words have on people, I feel like I'm doing ok in preparing him for the world. Like when he said "I love you" out of nowhere and leaned over to give me a kiss. I can't get enough of that little gentleman.

My Little Lover

Although I think we may be on the brink of the terrible twos, I would gladly strap Timmy into a time capsule and try to preserve him just as he is forever if I could. He is old enough now to know exactly how to make us laugh or swoon but still innocent enough to always have good intentions.

He gives kisses and hugs on command, will blow lots of kisses every time he says "bye bye" and he snuggles with everything. He has about a million variations of stuffed animals and he often walks around the house with them, squeezing them tightly. In the car, we keep a monkey and immediately upon sitting in his carseat, he'll ask to "snagh" him. If he wants to show us something, he'll reach for our hand or finger and lead the way right to it.

When he says "pleeeeeeeze" he'll give the biggest, cheesiest grin and promptly say "tu tu' (thank you) when he gets what he was asking for.
He still likes for me to carry him when we head out in the morning, so this morning he was pointing out all the things he gets excited about (vacuum, doors, trash, trees) and after I smiled, acknowledging his sightings, he would bury his head into my shoulder and wrap his arms around my neck. Then a few seconds later, raise his head and look for more exciting things to tell me about.

On the way to school, I usually point out every bus, truck and car. But lately he preempts me and exclaims "I see!!!!!!" every time one enters his field of vision.

I know every mom thinks her kid is wonderful and uniquely gifted. I will be the first to acknowledge Timmy's shortcomings--or really--areas he lacks talent, like physical prowess and vocabulary. He is stubborn as a mule. He is a picky eater. He needs baby maternity clothing to cover his large belly. But I can confidently say that he is one of the sweetest, gentlest boys I have met. He takes care of the baby girls in his room at daycare, giving them what he thinks they need or making the teachers pay attention if they cry. He flirts with everyone. He loves to hold hands and snuggle with PJO and I. He will go up to every dog he sees and giggle as they lick his face and try to wrestle him to the ground. And even when he "body slams" us, he is kind enough to give us warning and then gently smother us rather than crushing us under his hefty 33 pounds.

If it weren't for the fact that I just started a job (and PJO telling me he's not quite ready), I would be hopping on the baby making train today. I can't wait to see Timmy love on a baby brother or sister and I can't wait to love someone new as much I love him. But I can wait. So in the meantime, I'm enjoying every single second of Timmy's toddler-hood. And let me tell you, there is nothing like the holiday season when your heart is already bursting with love. Life is good.

PJO sent me this(very blurry) picture when I was working over the weekend before Thanksgiving...it made me laugh because everything in it is SO Timmy. The vacuum that he obsesses over, the tennis racket he steals from my room and swings around the house, his puppy that he snuggles with at bedtime, and of course, his lack of pants!

Peer Pressure

Today at our little playgroup, two more moms announced they are pregnant. This brings the grand total of moms in our group with only a single child to a whopping 1; Me. If you count the mom of triplets, everyone is on to round 2 besides me. I swear just yesterday I showed up to the park, sat down on our circle of blankets and watched everyone's babies learn to crawl and steal each others' teething toys. These days, though, our playgroups consist largely of mediating fights over the pink puppy or Tonka truck and saying "no hitting your friends." That, and oooohing and aaaaahing over the new little additions.

It's hard to explain, but I feel left behind. Our conversations about potty training, transitioning to toddler beds and pre-school are now punctuated with newborn sleep schedules and nursing. Any relevant commentary I might provide on those is based on very vague recollections at this point. On the days when I feel like complaining that Timmy won't take naps at home anymore, I don't because my problems are kind of trivial compared to those of the moms with a toddler AND a newborn. There are fewer and fewer friends to join me for a mom's night out to our local restaurant for wine or go work out with.

The thing is, I'm not quite ready to jump on that bandwagon. Well, I probably would if my circumstances were different, but I just can't. I don't think it is fair or wise to purposefully start my job pregnant. I also really want to give myself at least a few months of working before we decide to give up the relatively easy life of parents to one toddler. At the same time, I don't want the gap between Timmy and a second baby to be too large. We definitely want at least two kids and if we're going to all that trouble, it would be nice for them to at least be close enough in age to be friends.

So today, I'm finally feeling ready to think about baby #2, but am unable to do anything about it for awhile. Tomorrow, I will probably go back to marveling at how so few of my school/work friends have even thought of starting a family yet. Strange how the circles you run in can affect your perspective.

Big Bad Preschooler

Today was his official first day at preschool. No tears at drop-off. He seemed completely unaware that he was supposed to notice me telling him I was leaving him there, alone.

I stopped by Starbucks on my way home and leisurely enjoyed drinking my pumpkin spice latte while I looked over my extensive to-do-before-work-starts list. No toddler demanding my attention every 5 minutes. Toys and books magically stayed where I put them all day. It was fantastic.

Everyone keeps asking me what exactly I'm going to do all day while childless. I have some big plans; projects that have been on the back-burner for years, books that I have been dying to read, work-outs that I've been shamefully neglecting. Today I accomplished two big things. First, I cleaned out my pre-married email inbox. I send all of my non-personal email there (i.e. advertising emails and confirmations), and I don't check it regularly. Somewhere it snowballed out of control and this morning I had over 5800 unread emails. Now there are 0. That took a while. Second, I cleaned both bathrooms in my apartment. I am still smelling the fumes and bleach, but I am really hoping that's the last deep clean I'll ever do on these bathrooms. My paycheck, and therefore my cleaning lady that I shall hire, cannot come soon enough.

Anyway, back to Timmy. He did much better than I expected he would. Apparently he cried off and on, but he happily played for much of the day. He refused his lunch, but he did take a nap. I walked in when all the kids were listening to music class. He was not happy, but he was watching. Then he looked up, locked his gaze on my eyes, and proceeded to bawl. Tears gushing down his face, chest heaving. I picked him up and it took two minutes to calm him down, but then he was fine. He happily said goodbye to his teachers and was only slightly more clingy than normal the rest of the afternoon. Other than crying at bedtime tonight (which never happens anymore), I see no evidence that he had any disruption to his normal routine.

So day 1 is down. I'm pleasantly surprised at how well he did, and not at all surprised at how well I did. I honestly did not feel the slightest bit sad. That probably has something to do with the fact that I'm not actually going to work yet, I know this is just transition right now, so it's ok if he is a little bit sad in the beginning. I know he is going to love being there, and I'm glad that by the time I do start working, he'll be adjusted and happy to be there. For now, I'm going to just enjoy my me-time and try to organize my life while I still have the time and energy to do it.

Timmy didn't cooperate in posing for a picture on his first day of school, but I did manage to get him enjoying his breakfast before leaving and then testing out the little chairs and toys upon arrival.

A little piece of me

This is my last week of being home with Timmy full time. Sunday, the three of us leave for a cruise to the Mexican Riviera(!) as our last hurrah / wedding anniversary trip. Then Timmy will start daycare right after Labor day. Time isn't just flying by anymore, it's hurtling past me at breakneck speed, threatening to knock me down and render me unconscious if I so much as try to watch is pass.

As Timmy's preschool debut draws nearer, everyone has been asking me if I'm nervous. And I say no, because that's definitely not the word I would use to describe it. I'm excited for him to go, because I know he'll love it eventually; I'm anxious to see how long the transition takes because I am quite certain it's going to be absolutely awful; I'm thrilled that I'm going to be getting dressed up, enjoying a solo car ride and walking into my office every day; and I'm sad that I won't have as much time as I want/need with my really, fantastically fun boy.

I think one of the hardest parts of his transition will be nap time. I have never known him to sleep anywhere but his own crib very well. Add in the distraction of the other kids and the lacking of his usual comforts (blankie and puppy), I think naps just won't happen for a while. I thought maybe I could comfort him a little bit by giving him a nap mat that has all the things he loves on it. So I made this, and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.






He loves to point out the things on the top blanket, and I hope that might distract him slightly when he's distraught in a few weeks. "PLANE!" "CHOO-CHOO!" "WOO WOO WOO! [Firetruck]" "BOAT!"

I'm not the type of person that gets emotionally attached to tangible objects, but it does sort of comfort me knowing that he'll have something I made specifically for him to wrap him up and cuddle him during nap time when I can't be there with him.

Space is at a premium

Since we decided to stay in LA, I have been throwing out and donating old stuff, organizing what we are keeping to better utilize the minimal space we have and trying to consolidate/label stuff in our little storage space above our parking spots. Our storage units (2 of them) are probably the size of big freezers that hold ice cream sandwiches near checkout at Quicki-marts. About 65% of their contents are baby-related. The problem is, they're jam-packed and we keep generating more stuff for storage as Timmy outgrows another round of clothes or toys or accessories. Luckily, my mom just got a storage unit for some of my grandma's furniture she inherited that she hasn't made room for yet, and offered some space to me. Some space. Here's my problem:



These are the clothes that Timmy has outgrown in his short 18 months here on Earth. Just the clothes. I also have stored in our garage his infant swing and bouncer, exerSaucer, Baby Einstein floor gym, bumbo seat, boppy, and pack 'n play. There are things that I would love to store if I had plenty of space because we never use them anymore, like the giant glider and ottoman in his room or some more old toys or one of my two giant strollers, or his high chair when he moves on to a booster seat soon.

Everything I'm saving is something that I will probably want to use again whenever we have another baby. I also am saving a few things just for Timmy, keepsakes like his baptismal outfit and hospital blanket. I'm definitely starting to feel like the stuff I own owns me, but I can't bring myself to get rid of any of it. Then I start to wonder how long it will take to reach the point where it's cheaper to buy new stuff for the next baby than to pay to store our old stuff.

Ahh the joys of Apartment living!

18 months old

Today the Timster turns 18 months old. He's quickly approaching the age where you measure him in years rather than months. At one and a half, he is 33.5 inches tall, weighs 30 lbs, 7 oz and has a head that takes 20 inches of measuring tape to circumnavigate.

Here's a little taste of the "letter" I wrote to him for family, friends and posterity on our little family blog:

You are one and a half today and a completely delightful, funny and sweet little boy (most of the time). With every passing day you start looking more like a toddler (and your dad) and less like a baby.

You're a big, bulky guy and everyone comments that you are going to be a football player (we'll see about that when you're older...). I bought you new shoes yesterday and just about fainted when the lady brought out size 7 wide shoes. You're like a German Shepherd puppy; you still need to grow into your feet (and your head).



A bunch of new teeth are invading your mouth. You have 7 in front and 4 molars. Your hair is getting lighter, thick and wavy, needing frequent haircuts, which I still do at home. Your eyes are a bluish/greenish/gray color, depending on the light and what you're wearing, though I have a feeling they may still change.



You are almost as stubborn as your mama, and want to do everything by yourself. I don't even bother trying to feed you anymore. And you do just fine anyway, using forks and spoons really well.

You're turning into a very active boy, running, climbing, bouncing and dancing. There is probably nothing that gets you more excited than the sight of trucks or cranes or anything remotely related to construction work. Every time you see an airplane or the moon in the sky, you point up, shriek with excitement and tell me what you see. Now you like boats and trains too. That's not to say you only like "boy" toys. At the park, you jump on the chance to push around a little stroller with a baby doll in it.

Without a doubt, your favorite activity is reading books. There are easily 100 books in your collection and I honestly can't say which is your favorite; we read them all, and some we read multiple times a day. Sometimes you'll sit in front of the bookshelves, pulling them off one at a time, flipping through the pages, pointing to things we talk about and babbling something incomprehensible. The end result is a pile that completely buries you. Other times, you'll bring them one at a time to me, shouting "Book! Book!" and plop in my lap.



A few times a week, I let you watch a TV show while I cook dinner. As soon as the word "Backyardigans" comes out of my mouth, you smile and sprint to your little chair, get comfortable and wait for your little singing and dancing friends to appear on the screen. Then you'll watch, completely entranced, for the entire 30 minutes, laughing at all the right times. It's adorable.



You love animals, especially dogs, but recently you've rediscovered our cats and find the things they do hilarious. George crawls into a bag...hilarious! Sweet Pea runs away from you...hilarious! You also love flirting with the ladies, and when you really want to impress them, you flash your belly button and grin.




There is so much more I could say about you at this age, but I'm not sure it's possible to put it all into words. Just know that your parents (and grandparents/aunts/uncles/friends) love spending time with you and watching you become your own little self.

Love,
Mama

(Here are a bunch of random photos from the past month or two)

iPhoto Cache

Now that taking pictures of my wee-little baby involves chasing him around and getting him to do what I say ("Look!" "Say hi!" "Cheese!"), I rarely take pictures on our camera(s). It's just a lot of hassle for not a lot of reward. One out of every fifty or so pictures usually ends up being a keeper.

Anyway, most of the pictures I take are on my iPhone, poor quality and all. Usually, I just upload cute ones to Facebook or email them to PJO while he's at work to let him know what we're up to. But sometimes a video I'll take will be too long to email, so I'll have to connect the phone to the computer to transfer. I did that yesterday and discovered lots and lots of pictures of a precious, chubby little pumpkin that barely resembles my toddler today.


Two months old...looks miniature and not even too fat yet



Seven months old...I was 4 days into being a SAHM and we're already eating dinner out, but more importantly, do you SEE the (multiple) arm rolls. I die.


Eight months old...Baptism in NJ. 100 degrees, 100% humidity (or something like that). He was quickly down to just a onesie.


THERE they are, chubby chubby thighs! (still 8 months old)


Nine months old. So cute, politely waving to me in the grocery store. Ahh, memories.


so many delicious, ooey-gooey rolls here at 9 months


Ten and a half months. Little baby curly hair behind the ear. Sigh.


Almost eighteen months. Definitely no longer a little baby. I guess I'm ok with that. But I hope I can still call him a toddler for a long time to come, "kid" seems so old.

a Gen-Z Playground

A new playground was just built in our little community. This one is in the area which has yet to be developed but for the commercial buildings, so it is getting very little use so far. Or maybe no one goes to it because they can't tell it's a playground?



The planters are in a swampy marsh that you can't splash in






Belly button ring?



Bounciest see-saw ever





Little bit too afraid to go in the tunnel




But I think Timmy liked it

(More) Official

I just filled out a little survey for the Firm, indicating the practice areas that I'm interested in, the partners I would like to work for and the date I would like to start. (They added a later date as an option, but I stuck with the original date in the middle of October). I told them what extra equipment I wanted for my computer, declined the option to use my iPhone instead of a blackberry and jotted down the dates for the First Year Academy in my calendar.

It's becoming so real and I'm SO EXCITED! I want to start working tomorrow and get dressed up for work, set up my office, chat with people in the hallways, turn in assignments and write down to-dos. I don't feel sad that I won't see Timmy all day, every day, but I do hate feeling like I'm not enjoying every moment I spend with him now. I have less than 4 months left with him, so why do I spend so much time running errands and cleaning up? Because that stuff has to get done too, I guess. When I picture myself as a working lawyer, his smiling face flashes across my mind and I start to wonder if his little heart will temporarily be broken when I leave him at daycare for the first few weeks. I'm going to try to savor the 119 days left of being with Timmy morning, noon and night. And I'll try to remember how happy I am to be working when I am squeezing in only 5 hours during the week with him come October.

That just happened

Timmy,
I'm sorry for all of the embarrassing things I'll make you do throughout your lifetime. Sorry for the sailor outfits and awkward picture-taking at high school prom and yelling too loudly in the stands at your tee-ball games.

But most of all, I'm sorry for this oompa-loompa outfit. At least I didn't make you go outside in it.

Love,
Mom

Wannabe Backyardigan

I wish I had a backyard for Timmy to run around naked in. He got a bad case of diaper rash this week and I had to let him roam naked and free in my apartment to allow his chafed butt to air out. He's acquainted with the potty enough that he'll sit on his little one and giggle, but unaware enough that he'll stand up and pee on the floor next to the potty, point and laugh. Good times.

Oh well, at least it made for some cute pictures.



He was actually much happier than he looks here.

Hmm, photographic evidence....

Let me see...

Ah ha! Here we go...

Eating food with the forbidden adult fork (albeit plastic):

Ha! I am smart! So there!

For the past year, teething has been my go-to answer for any ailment that may be afflicting Timmy. Never mind the fact that his first tooth didn't poke through until almost 9 months...he was gushing drool and biting his fingers at 4 months and that was teething damn it! As time went on, I started to wonder if I was missing something. His little friends have far more teeth than he does and don't seem to complain all that much. Or they'll complain during the few days that the tooth actually erupts but that's it.
Timmy will exhibit all the signs of teething for weeks or even months at a time, with no discernible difference 3 weeks or 1 night before the tooth comes in. That's why we're usually surprised when we actually see a tooth in there, it must have had to travel all the way from his toes the way he carries on about it.
At first I was hesitant to give him much for the pain because how do I really know whether it's teething or not? He seems to be teething all the time. But even when I gave him Tylenol or Motrin or Hyland's teething tablets or frozen bagels or frozen washcloths..whatever, none of it seemed to help anyway.
Until yesterday. I remembered reading that chewing on green onions really helped some kids, so I bought some while I was at the store. Timmy was a MESS yesterday, but once he chomped on 3 green onions, he was happy as a clam the rest of the day. The answer was so simple, yet so elusive! I'll admit it, I felt pretty proud of myself for having figured out this mystery a short 16 months into his life! Maybe I am capable of figuring out my child and learning what makes him tick. I guess the green onions will be tested since he currently has just 6 teeth and I can feel 4 molars and 4 canines bulging below the surface.

kids say the darndest things

I met a friend from my future firm and her 9 month old daughter at the park today for a play date with Timmy. Her daughter is cute beyond words and most people passing by would stop and comment on the cuteness crawling around on our blanket. Including this 5 year old toothless wonder named Annie. (Well, she was missing one front tooth.)

Annie looked right at my friend's daughter and said, "oh, she's such a cute baby!" and immediately began tickling her fingers and making her laugh.

Then Annie looked over at Timmy with his runny nose, drooling mouth and cold wind-induced watering eyes and said matter-of-factly, "He's pretty disgusting right now."

Poor Timmy, I'm sure that's not the last time a girl will call him disgusting.

Teaching a Control Freak to Let Go

From the minute I got pregnant, I knew that the life I knew was over. I have been a stubborn, independent and bossy control freak since I was born. As the oldest child and the only girl in my family, I usually got my way (sometimes by imposing it on my younger brothers with force). No one ever successfully prevented me from doing something just by saying "no." In fact, the little contrarian in me usually insisted that every no eventually become a yes, just for the sake of proving I could change them before they change me. Certain things fall right into their OCD place as a mom...folding Timmy's wash cloths in the same double fold, but stacking them rotating clockwise so all sides of the pile are even...wrapping up each diaper the same way before putting it in the trash (wipes on the inside, wrapped tight) ... putting each book in ascending order by size on the book shelf. But really, I don't control many aspects of my day anymore. When I wake up, when I go to sleep, whether I get anything productive done during the day...that's all largely controlled by Timmy.

It's very hard to accept that I have no control over parts of his life. I've been told that developmentally, you can't "teach" a child to do something they're not ready to do. If they're on the verge of learning it, you may peak their interest by showing them, but they generally don't do something until they're ready. I don't like hearing that when I have the kid who lags behind his peers and shows little interest in catching up.

Gross motor skill wise, he's always been somewhat behind the milestone charts...He didn't roll over until 7 months, didn't crawl until 10 months and at 15 months, he isn't really walking. And even though he started saying words (both audibly and visually with signs) "on schedule" he is frustratingly non-communicative now. Mama and Dada are very clear, but "more" and "milk" are indiscernible from each other and "dog" sort of became "dah(!)" which is used to describe everything. That's all he says. Words he used to know and use, including silly ones like "Elmo", just aren't in his vocab anymore. The way he "talks" to me is by pointing and whining, or crying when he doesn't get what he wants. I can tell he understands what I say to him, but for whatever reason, he doesn't seem interested in responding to it. Right now his doctor seems relatively unconcerned and I know he is still within the realm of "normal." But I hate feeling like something is wrong and there is nothing I can do, or whatever I'm doing isn't working. I try to focus on the things he can do instead of what he can't, but honestly, I would rather Timmy be able to go run around the park and talk to kids his age than sit on the floor and read books to himself. That's the challenge. Figuring out that it doesn't matter what I want...Timmy works on his own schedule, not mine.

It all can cause a headache. But at least he's a pretty cute headache.

Huge Mama's Boy

As a fairly non-emotional, not overly affectionate person, I never wanted my kids to be totally attached to me. I wanted my son to be independent and self-sufficient. I thought those clingy kids at the playground were annoying and weak. So what did I get?

Wait for it.....


Wait for it ....

Drum roll please....

Mama's boy. He whines when I leave his presence. He stands at my feet, grasping at my pants and sticking his head between my knees. He pushes off anyone else holding him if I walk by to try and jump into my arms. To be perfectly honest, it usually bothers me, ranging from very mild annoyance to embarrassment that he won't just go play with the other kids. At his school (mommy & me class on Fridays), it can be difficult to make it through my 30 minute discussion time when I hear him crying for me through the walls. It can also make it difficult to watch the other kids when he cries if I walk more than 5 feet away from him. It's not that I want him to be emotionally detached from me or want nothing to do with me, I just wish he could enjoy play time with other kids or be calmed by someone other than me when he wakes up scared at night.

But then some days, ...ah, there is nothing better. Some days I pretend that he's never going to love anyone more than me, not even during the teen years. Some days, like today, he'll come over to me during playgroup and without any sort of explanation or apparent reason, he'll lay his head on me, look up at my eyes and clutch my shirt. We stayed that way for 10 minutes straight and I didn't care that Timmy was ignoring the toys and his friends and being outside at the park. I didn't care that I couldn't have a conversation with my friends without a baby all over me.

The other moms kept asking if he was sleeping. Nope. He was just being a mama's boy. So they took a picture and said "aww."