Answering the call to explain why I went to law school. I feel like I should preface this with "do as I say and not as I do" so take this for what it's worth...just my story and not an example of what anyone else should do.
Growing up, everyone always told me I should be a lawyer. I was opinionated, loved to argue and debate and I was relentless in my quest to be right and have the last word. Granted, these qualities don't have much, if anything, to do with what I do for a living now, but apparently people think these make a good lawyer. I didn't know many lawyers and unlike the rest of the population, I have never watched Law & Order, so I really had no idea what a lawyer's life is like.
Everything I did before I turned 18 was all about getting into the right college. Once I was there, I was completely directionless. No one really told me that you should still study and get good grades, so I just went out drinking every night of the week and had the time of my life. It didn't really occur to me that I may go to grad school one day. By my junior year, I realized I needed to start thinking about what I would do after, and I naturally looked for what kind of jobs I'd be qualified for with my major in political science. Turns out, not much. I interned at the Council on Foreign Relations, which was awesome, but decided that I didn't like the think tank environment enough to put up with the terrible salary. My next choice, public relations or government affairs, proved to be difficult to break into and also did not pay well. Rather than expand my job search geographically, I just applied to and got a job as a paralegal at a big law firm in New York.
I started right after the fourth of July as a corporate/bankruptcy paralegal. It was nice to work in a big, glamorous law firm with tons of other smart, recent college grads. I made good money and enjoyed a lot of the law firm perks but in New York, most people are paralegals for one or two years, so I knew it wasn't a permanent job. At the end of September, I decided that I didn't want to be a paralegal for another full year. I figured that the first year associates were basically doing the same thing I was but making triple or quadruple the money, so why not just go to law school? (can you say young and naive?). If I registered in the next few weeks, I would still be able to take the LSAT before applications were due, so I did it. I signed up for a Kaplan course too, but of course those four weeks turned out to be the busiest while I was working. Most class days, I went down to SoHo after work, took the class and came back to work until 4 am. I never got the chance to really study and am generally terrible at standardized tests, so I got the very same score on the LSAT that I got on my first practice test...which was not very good. But, it was too late. I had already sent in my applications before I got my score.
I got in to a few schools, all of which were second tier. I read the employment statistics and I knew people from these schools that ended up getting jobs they wanted (and jobs I would be happy to get), so I decided to just go. I figured I could always transfer to a higher ranked school after the first year if I wanted to. This was 2006 and pretty much everyone who got decent grades that wanted to work in BigLaw could get those jobs. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do after graduation, but I figured my goal should be to get the best grades I could to keep doors open (see! I learned my lesson in college!).
When I started 1L in August 2006, I didn't know what a tort was. I had no clue why we needed to learn civil procedure and was blown away that contracts could be so complicated. But I LOVED it. Every second of it. Law school was amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed all three years. I loved learning to read cases and discussing them in class, I loved how everything clicked and made sense when I outlined, I loved putting it all together in preparation for finals and I loved the speakers that came to the school to discuss constitutional issues and hot topics.
I did well my first year of school, so I decided to just go through OCI and see what happened. I researched the firms and picked which ones to apply to. From the outset, I had a first and second choice out of the pool of 20 or so firms. I had about 8 callbacks which had varying levels of success. When I got an offer at my top choice, I jumped on it. I have never looked back.
So I think it would be fair to say that I went to law school because I had nothing else to do with my political science degree. I did think at various times in my life that I might like to be a lawyer, but that certainly wasn't the driving force behind me applying. Once I was in law school, I started formulating an answer to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I honestly still don't really know. There are many things I love about being a lawyer, including following rules (I'm a big fan of order, rules and organization), working with very intelligent people, reading and writing, and being involved with deals that are very relevant and important to the marketplace and our society. I like that I have a professional degree so that there are less jobs closed off to me. I like dressing up in professional clothes every day and going to an office. And frankly, I like the salary I get paid.
There are less glamorous aspects, like student loan debt, long hours, sometimes boring and tedious tasks and a high stress level. But I know that I can always take a "step down" and find a job that is much less demanding (and lower paying) if it ever gets really unbearable. For about a year after I graduated, I felt a little trapped in law because I knew I would need to make my BigLaw salary to be able to afford to pay off my loans. Now that I have paid them down and the minimum monthly payment is about 20% of what it once was, I can breath easier.
Would I go back to law school if I could do it all over? I don't know. As I said, I loved law school and I got a job that I feel very lucky to have out of it. But if I went to law school today, it would never turn out the same. My firm doesn't hire from schools like mine post-economic collapse. It would be soul-crushing to have that kind of debt without the means to pay it off quickly, and none of the good things about my job would be enough to make that worth it. I guess if I could go for free to school, I would do it all over again. It's not like there was another career that I gave up to go to law school. I'm still not sure what else I would do if I wasn't a lawyer. And knowing now how ill-suited I am to being a stay-at-home mom, I'm glad that I have a career and not just a job.
My advice would be to have a very conservative approach to applying to law school. If you are reasonably convinced that you would be happy as a lawyer and you can go to law school on a full-ride or with a very good scholarship, go for it. If there is something else you have a passion for, do that. If you didn't get into schools that are offering you money, think long and hard about how much it costs and how long it will take you to pay that money back.
Showing posts with label Law School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Law School. Show all posts
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, February 1, 2010
Check it off the list
Last night, I was talking to PJO about something and he asked: "who would really listen to a podcast?" My response was that I totally would have when I was in law school. Whether it was a lecture I had missed or some broader lecture on a relevant, popular or interesting topic.
And then it hit me. Law school, a 3 plus year endeavor, is something I have done. Completed. Not only that, but I am already referring to my law-student-self as a character who would have acted differently than my current self. It reminded me of senior associates and partners who would regale me with stories of "back when I was in law school." But I was in law school only 8 months ago!
Weird.
And then it hit me. Law school, a 3 plus year endeavor, is something I have done. Completed. Not only that, but I am already referring to my law-student-self as a character who would have acted differently than my current self. It reminded me of senior associates and partners who would regale me with stories of "back when I was in law school." But I was in law school only 8 months ago!
Weird.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
I Think I Graduated Yesterday
Whirlwind is probably the best way I can describe it. I was slightly distracted by all the family in town and Timmy. I don't feel any different today but when I look at my degree and photos a few weeks from now, maybe it will sink in.
Of course Timmy picked this week, most precisely yesterday, to decide he DID. NOT. WANT. the bottle. Nevermind that he has drank from a bottle since he was a week old. Nevermind that he has happily ingested cold formula before. Nevermind that he has never refused food in any form whatsoever. Yesterday morning he would only nurse. So it turned out that he went from 3am until 4pm without eating. He was irritable, tugging at his ears and had green gunk in his eye, so we thought maybe he had an ear infection or something. Instead of having BBQ, champagne and cake at my place with all my family, we went to the pediatrician. Where OF COURSE he was happy and giggling for everyone. No ear infection. He was just FINE.
Our new babysitter starts on Wednesday and I'm not sure what to tell her about feeding him. We're trying to give him a bottle more often but at what point do I need to just give in and nurse? Even though he used to take a bottle just fine from me, I have left the room so PJO could give it to him and he still won't take it. Is it too early to just start feeding him steak or whatever we're eating, because I'm pretty sure he would eat that.
Of course Timmy picked this week, most precisely yesterday, to decide he DID. NOT. WANT. the bottle. Nevermind that he has drank from a bottle since he was a week old. Nevermind that he has happily ingested cold formula before. Nevermind that he has never refused food in any form whatsoever. Yesterday morning he would only nurse. So it turned out that he went from 3am until 4pm without eating. He was irritable, tugging at his ears and had green gunk in his eye, so we thought maybe he had an ear infection or something. Instead of having BBQ, champagne and cake at my place with all my family, we went to the pediatrician. Where OF COURSE he was happy and giggling for everyone. No ear infection. He was just FINE.
Our new babysitter starts on Wednesday and I'm not sure what to tell her about feeding him. We're trying to give him a bottle more often but at what point do I need to just give in and nurse? Even though he used to take a bottle just fine from me, I have left the room so PJO could give it to him and he still won't take it. Is it too early to just start feeding him steak or whatever we're eating, because I'm pretty sure he would eat that.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
An Ode to Law School
Tomorrow morning I graduate from law school. PJO, Timmy, my parents, brothers and PJO's parents will all be there supporting me. Many of the good friends I have made will be beside me. The professors that have mentored me will stand before me. I'll be there to bid adieu to a great experience and chapter of my life.
I remember that first day of orientation, being so nervous because everyone always talks about how hard law school is and because I didn't know what to expect. I honestly didn't even know what a tort was until about halfway through my first class. That seems like just yesterday except now law school is the furthest thing from daunting. It's more like my comfort zone now.
If there is one thing law school has taught me, it's to believe in myself (despite infrequent meltdowns). I've always been independent and usually very self-confident, but sometimes when everything rolls off my back so easily, it is just an outward manifestation of and overcompensation for the insecurity I secretly feel. These days, I really believe in myself even when the odds are stacked against me. If I had told that nervous girl at orientation that I would be graduating a married mother of one with a good job lined up and mostly good memories of law school, I am not sure I would have believed it myself.
The past three years have reminded me that it's dangerous to compare yourself to others. I got through school by doing what seemed right to me and ignoring what everyone else said and did. I can count the number of times I stayed up past midnight doing work on one hand. Sometimes I would sit in a class on the first day and feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I would need to do in order to really understand the material. Feeling that way made eventually learning everything that much more rewarding.
I honestly hope that even if my days as a student are over, I remember and apply the lessons I've learned here to all aspects of my life. Whatever path my career follows and wherever I end up, I will really cherish memories from these past three years.
It makes me want to cry thinking about everything thhat my family has done to help me get here. I remember when I moved out here from New York and I needed a car, my parents both gave me some money for a down payment. My dad drove me up to school for a tour and my mom sent care packages during finals. They always seemed really proud that I was in law school...
My biggest thanks has to go to PJO. I mean seriously, he sacrificed more than I did for law school. He moved away from his family for the first time--across the country no less--to be with me. He worked and supported me while I brought in no money. Not only that, but he put up with wedding nonsense and then baby nonsense. I always say "we paid for our own wedding" but really, PJO paid for it (since I had no income). He makes a lot of little sacrifices all the time... like taking off work the days I have final exams and taking Timmy out to play so I can study.
He put up amazingly well with all the ridiculous law school talk that inevitably permeated every social event we went to and didn't complain. I think he even tried to learn some of the stuff I was studying so that we could talk about it together. Most of all he was loving, patient and kept me incredibly grounded.
Up until now I hadn't felt proud for graduating law school. Law school was just my occupation...it was just what I did. Graduating was simply the logical result. But when I think about how quickly the last three years have passed by, it suddenly reminds me of the blur that Timmy's babyhood has been. Before it's too late, I want to really stop and soak up every minute. This was truly one of the best times of my life, maybe not in the same way that college was, but no less great. Instead of being sad that it's over, I want to be happy to be finishing and successfully moving on to the next great thing in my life, whatever that may be!
I remember that first day of orientation, being so nervous because everyone always talks about how hard law school is and because I didn't know what to expect. I honestly didn't even know what a tort was until about halfway through my first class. That seems like just yesterday except now law school is the furthest thing from daunting. It's more like my comfort zone now.
If there is one thing law school has taught me, it's to believe in myself (despite infrequent meltdowns). I've always been independent and usually very self-confident, but sometimes when everything rolls off my back so easily, it is just an outward manifestation of and overcompensation for the insecurity I secretly feel. These days, I really believe in myself even when the odds are stacked against me. If I had told that nervous girl at orientation that I would be graduating a married mother of one with a good job lined up and mostly good memories of law school, I am not sure I would have believed it myself.
The past three years have reminded me that it's dangerous to compare yourself to others. I got through school by doing what seemed right to me and ignoring what everyone else said and did. I can count the number of times I stayed up past midnight doing work on one hand. Sometimes I would sit in a class on the first day and feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I would need to do in order to really understand the material. Feeling that way made eventually learning everything that much more rewarding.
I honestly hope that even if my days as a student are over, I remember and apply the lessons I've learned here to all aspects of my life. Whatever path my career follows and wherever I end up, I will really cherish memories from these past three years.
It makes me want to cry thinking about everything thhat my family has done to help me get here. I remember when I moved out here from New York and I needed a car, my parents both gave me some money for a down payment. My dad drove me up to school for a tour and my mom sent care packages during finals. They always seemed really proud that I was in law school...
My biggest thanks has to go to PJO. I mean seriously, he sacrificed more than I did for law school. He moved away from his family for the first time--across the country no less--to be with me. He worked and supported me while I brought in no money. Not only that, but he put up with wedding nonsense and then baby nonsense. I always say "we paid for our own wedding" but really, PJO paid for it (since I had no income). He makes a lot of little sacrifices all the time... like taking off work the days I have final exams and taking Timmy out to play so I can study.
He put up amazingly well with all the ridiculous law school talk that inevitably permeated every social event we went to and didn't complain. I think he even tried to learn some of the stuff I was studying so that we could talk about it together. Most of all he was loving, patient and kept me incredibly grounded.
Up until now I hadn't felt proud for graduating law school. Law school was just my occupation...it was just what I did. Graduating was simply the logical result. But when I think about how quickly the last three years have passed by, it suddenly reminds me of the blur that Timmy's babyhood has been. Before it's too late, I want to really stop and soak up every minute. This was truly one of the best times of my life, maybe not in the same way that college was, but no less great. Instead of being sad that it's over, I want to be happy to be finishing and successfully moving on to the next great thing in my life, whatever that may be!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Leaving on a good, err,,,the worst note
I just got my last grade back. It's official. This was my worst semester of law school grade-wise. It feels pretty shitty.
I laughed when I got my Remedies grade...it was a point below the median. I can pretty much chalk it up to very poor test taking ability, but I deserved a bad grade because I didn't pay attention or read all semester, so whatever.
Then I got my grade in business planning. You know, the class with basically no new material. My fifth class with this professor. The professor whose other classes were a significant boost to my G.P.A. It was a B+ or A- (we have a grading system where you get a number on a 100 point scale, so what letter grade it is depends on the curve). I mean, this is pretty pathetic, I should have gotten a much higher grade. I have a feeling it was my poor job on the take-home midterm (writing a business plan), as that counted for 30% and I felt pretty good about the actual final. I was pretty upset by this, but at the end of the day, it didn't move my overall G.P.A. too much, so I could get over it.
But then I got my last grade for my Bioethics seminar. The median. UGH. I actually thought I would be getting a high A in that class. We got graded for class participation and 10 reaction memos, plus a paper topic proposal, outline and the paper itself. I know I got dinged two points for reaction memos and 1 point for my topic proposal, but that is only 3 out of 100. My paper was awesome. Seriously, I objectively think it was great. Perfect blue-book style footnoting, tons of research, unique proposal. Awesome. So what the fuck?!
Before this semester, I said that I had a job and all I had to do was graduate, so I didn't care that having a baby was going to interfere with school. Turns out, I do kind of care...I'm insecure enough that I sort of need positive reinforcement from grades. I'm embarrassed that I won't graduate higher in my class, especially since I feel like I already have to justify going to a lower ranked school than most people I work with. I'm actually kind of confused as to how I got such low grades. I'm pissed that my last taste of law school will be such a black mark on my transcript. My confidence is totally shaken. And now I'm thinking, if I can't get a good grade in some silly law school class then what if I also can't pass something important, like the Bar exam? Did I take on too much, thinking I could handle life the same way I did before having a baby? What if I'm just not cut out for being a lawyer? Or what if I can't handle working at a big firm, where will I go and how will I pay off loans?
Ok, so maybe I'm being slightly dramatic. In truth, I know I'll be just fine. I know that I will graduate, that the important thing is having my family and a job. But right now I just want to allow myself to wallow in self-pity and think about all the ways in which I screwed up.
I probably won't though. Looking at this face all day will be much more therapeutic.
*update* so I emailed the last two profs, and it turns out the forced median is what screwed me. I lost 2 points in business planning and SEVEN points in bioethics because the classes are graded on a strict curve and the median HAS to be an 83. Le sigh
I laughed when I got my Remedies grade...it was a point below the median. I can pretty much chalk it up to very poor test taking ability, but I deserved a bad grade because I didn't pay attention or read all semester, so whatever.
Then I got my grade in business planning. You know, the class with basically no new material. My fifth class with this professor. The professor whose other classes were a significant boost to my G.P.A. It was a B+ or A- (we have a grading system where you get a number on a 100 point scale, so what letter grade it is depends on the curve). I mean, this is pretty pathetic, I should have gotten a much higher grade. I have a feeling it was my poor job on the take-home midterm (writing a business plan), as that counted for 30% and I felt pretty good about the actual final. I was pretty upset by this, but at the end of the day, it didn't move my overall G.P.A. too much, so I could get over it.
But then I got my last grade for my Bioethics seminar. The median. UGH. I actually thought I would be getting a high A in that class. We got graded for class participation and 10 reaction memos, plus a paper topic proposal, outline and the paper itself. I know I got dinged two points for reaction memos and 1 point for my topic proposal, but that is only 3 out of 100. My paper was awesome. Seriously, I objectively think it was great. Perfect blue-book style footnoting, tons of research, unique proposal. Awesome. So what the fuck?!
Before this semester, I said that I had a job and all I had to do was graduate, so I didn't care that having a baby was going to interfere with school. Turns out, I do kind of care...I'm insecure enough that I sort of need positive reinforcement from grades. I'm embarrassed that I won't graduate higher in my class, especially since I feel like I already have to justify going to a lower ranked school than most people I work with. I'm actually kind of confused as to how I got such low grades. I'm pissed that my last taste of law school will be such a black mark on my transcript. My confidence is totally shaken. And now I'm thinking, if I can't get a good grade in some silly law school class then what if I also can't pass something important, like the Bar exam? Did I take on too much, thinking I could handle life the same way I did before having a baby? What if I'm just not cut out for being a lawyer? Or what if I can't handle working at a big firm, where will I go and how will I pay off loans?
Ok, so maybe I'm being slightly dramatic. In truth, I know I'll be just fine. I know that I will graduate, that the important thing is having my family and a job. But right now I just want to allow myself to wallow in self-pity and think about all the ways in which I screwed up.
I probably won't though. Looking at this face all day will be much more therapeutic.
*update* so I emailed the last two profs, and it turns out the forced median is what screwed me. I lost 2 points in business planning and SEVEN points in bioethics because the classes are graded on a strict curve and the median HAS to be an 83. Le sigh
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
End of an Era
I finished my last exam today. I think it went pretty well. I don't really feel a big sense of relief, probably because a) I already felt like I was done after my Remedies exam and b) I know that I still have to start studying for the bar soon.
Either way... WOO! I'm done with law school!
We graduate a week from Friday on May 22nd. They hand out our actual diplomas on the stage, so I will be finding out all of my grades before then. Don't really care too much what they are.
After the test today, PJO, Timmy and I went up to Paradise Cove in Malibu for Nachos and Mojitos. It was a gorgeous day and relaxing with my two guys felt amazing.
Either way... WOO! I'm done with law school!
We graduate a week from Friday on May 22nd. They hand out our actual diplomas on the stage, so I will be finding out all of my grades before then. Don't really care too much what they are.
After the test today, PJO, Timmy and I went up to Paradise Cove in Malibu for Nachos and Mojitos. It was a gorgeous day and relaxing with my two guys felt amazing.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Why I hate open-book exams
Alternatively titled: That didn't go well.
I took my remedies final yesterday. I actually think I knew enough to do well, but I just didn't. A for effort (if we're only taking this weekend into consideration...), D- for execution.
The essays were kind of racehorse exams, but instead of just typing like crazy, I kept looking everything up to make sure I got the rule exactly right. And then of course I didn't find what I was looking for right away. And then time was going in slow motion and I couldn't comprehend what the question was even asking or what I was saying. Everything was just a big blur and I didn't care enough to pull it together and attempt a coherent answer. I am glad the prof doesn't know who I am, because otherwise I might actually be embarrassed if he found out I wrote that.
I think I did well on the multiple choice questions (1/3 of the grade), but the essays were pretty terrible (I'm sure I didn't even get to a lot of issues and those that I did, I just outlined some of them).
Oh well. I don't care too much. I feel some pressure to do better on my business planning final now to help offset my Remedies grade. (Offset! I know that rule! Why didn't I write what I knew on the exam! ughhhhhhh)
Business Planning is next Tuesday, so I have one more week.
It's weird, but I am not counting down the days or even really looking forward to being done. Graduation will be a very exciting day, but finishing law school just means I should be starting bar bri... (actually, I should be starting it 5 days before graduation according to the schedule).
Today I enjoyed cuddling and napping with Timmy in my bed (for just the second time ever!) and I felt like things will probably be just fine post-law school:
I took my remedies final yesterday. I actually think I knew enough to do well, but I just didn't. A for effort (if we're only taking this weekend into consideration...), D- for execution.
The essays were kind of racehorse exams, but instead of just typing like crazy, I kept looking everything up to make sure I got the rule exactly right. And then of course I didn't find what I was looking for right away. And then time was going in slow motion and I couldn't comprehend what the question was even asking or what I was saying. Everything was just a big blur and I didn't care enough to pull it together and attempt a coherent answer. I am glad the prof doesn't know who I am, because otherwise I might actually be embarrassed if he found out I wrote that.
I think I did well on the multiple choice questions (1/3 of the grade), but the essays were pretty terrible (I'm sure I didn't even get to a lot of issues and those that I did, I just outlined some of them).
Oh well. I don't care too much. I feel some pressure to do better on my business planning final now to help offset my Remedies grade. (Offset! I know that rule! Why didn't I write what I knew on the exam! ughhhhhhh)
Business Planning is next Tuesday, so I have one more week.
It's weird, but I am not counting down the days or even really looking forward to being done. Graduation will be a very exciting day, but finishing law school just means I should be starting bar bri... (actually, I should be starting it 5 days before graduation according to the schedule).
Today I enjoyed cuddling and napping with Timmy in my bed (for just the second time ever!) and I felt like things will probably be just fine post-law school:
Sunday, May 3, 2009
F is for Fun...and Finals ... and Failing
I have a remedies final tomorrow. I seriously might be less prepared for it than I was for the two classes I took pass-fail. I read for class once this semester, paid attention in class for probably a total of 70 minutes and have only barely made it through reading someone else's outline once. So studying for this final exam is a bit of a challenge. But since I started knowing so little, I feel like my study time is actually very productive because learning even the most basic rules and cases is making leaps and bounds.
The hard part? Surprisingly, it's not finding the motivation. I really wish I could have studied more for this class (although I don't really regret not paying attention all semester). It's finding uninterrupted study time.
I learned pretty early on in the semester that it's damn near impossible to study when I'm alone with Timmy, even if he takes a little nap. This is shocking to Timmy!
PJO has been on Timmy duty this weekend so I could study, but it's not like I can just disappear to school all day for 12 hours. I have to feed him or pump every few hours. This makes school a non-option and the local library pretty unappealing. In our little apartment, there isn't a designated spot to do any work, so I made one.
My mom has a little card table that is about 4 feet by a foot and a half... just small enough to fit in a spot in our bedroom between my side of the bed and the wall. I took one of the chairs for our kitchen table and made myself a nice little desk. I have enough room for all my outlines and practice exams and it has a good view (well, it has a window).
Between the hour it takes for me to be awake, pumping or nursing several times a day and eating myself, my study time is cut down a lot. But at least I'm getting lots of help from the cats! (They go crazy when the windows are open because they can hear and see the birds outside)
So what does Timmy think of my chances on the Remedies exam?
The hard part? Surprisingly, it's not finding the motivation. I really wish I could have studied more for this class (although I don't really regret not paying attention all semester). It's finding uninterrupted study time.
I learned pretty early on in the semester that it's damn near impossible to study when I'm alone with Timmy, even if he takes a little nap. This is shocking to Timmy!
PJO has been on Timmy duty this weekend so I could study, but it's not like I can just disappear to school all day for 12 hours. I have to feed him or pump every few hours. This makes school a non-option and the local library pretty unappealing. In our little apartment, there isn't a designated spot to do any work, so I made one.
My mom has a little card table that is about 4 feet by a foot and a half... just small enough to fit in a spot in our bedroom between my side of the bed and the wall. I took one of the chairs for our kitchen table and made myself a nice little desk. I have enough room for all my outlines and practice exams and it has a good view (well, it has a window).
Between the hour it takes for me to be awake, pumping or nursing several times a day and eating myself, my study time is cut down a lot. But at least I'm getting lots of help from the cats! (They go crazy when the windows are open because they can hear and see the birds outside)
So what does Timmy think of my chances on the Remedies exam?
Friday, April 24, 2009
It's not even over, and I'm already nostalgic
Yesterday I had a breakfast meeting with the Dean of Student Life and about 10 students. He tries to meet with every 3L in the spring over breakfast or lunch to talk about what the school did right and what they need to work on. It's made me realize how much I'm going to miss my life as a law student.
This guy, the Dean of Student Life, is truly amazing. He taught Torts in my section 1L year. The first day of class, he takes a picture of everyone, and has them write down on an index card certain information. I think it included your name, undergrad school, major, your interests and a fun fact. The next day of class, he spent 20 minutes going through all 76 people in my section without those cards. He had memorized it all. He used the Socratic method, but he would call on people throughout the semester based on their interests when those came up in cases. He's just unreal. My class has 193 people in it, and he knows everything about all of them. Everyone loves him and he loves everyone (or at least acts like it to their face, haha).
Anyway, this breakfast was really open and honest. It felt so good to talk about everything with someone who has the desire and power to create change. I surprised myself with how much I like about the school.
The Good:
* The people. Everyone is nice and friendly and helpful. Seriously, everyone! This includes faculty, staff, and my classmates. Professors give you home phone numbers, invite you to bbq's at their houses and pass on networking info in job searches. Strangers smile and say hi. If anyone needs help, several will jump at the chance to give what they can.
* Required Courses. Every subject except for Community Property that is tested on the CA bar exam is a required course here. That means we have 8 upper division required courses. It definitely makes me less apprehensive about bar prep. Also required is Legal Research and Writing 1L year... you learn how to write motions and an appellate brief, use the blue book and do legal research.
* Form of examinations. Almost all of them are closed book, 2 hours of essays in SoftTest and 1 hour of multiple choice (like the MBEs). Personally, I hate open book exams, maybe because I am good at memorization, so I like this. And once again, I feel like this helps me prepare for the way the Bar tests.
* The location. Ok, this may be the most important part. I go to school on the beach. In the sunshine. It's pretty. It makes me happy. My commute is 20 minutes on PCH. I love it.
* Political Balance. The University is known for being uber-conservative. The law school is too, but to a lesser degree. Actually, there is a very good balance of political viewpoints in both the student body and the faculty. It really makes for good debates and forces people to be open-minded.
The Bad:
* Attendance. Seriously, they take attendance. Supposedly if you miss 6 classes in a semester (when they meet 3 times a week), you can be dropped from the course. And most professors pass around attendance sheets. What is this bullshit?
* Library hours. On Sunday, they don't open until NOON. You know why? Because you're supposed to be at church. Ya, Sunday is sometimes the only day I get any work done the whole week! The library should be open.
* Class Offerings. There are very few transactional courses offered. I will graduate having taken Securities Reg., M&A, Fed. Tax of Business Entities, Ethical Corporate Practice, Corporations and Business Planning, but only because I planned ahead starting my 1L year and signed up for almost everything offered. There are no clinicals available in Corporate stuff.
* Social events are lame. We never have open-bar because the school doesn't sponsor drinking in any way... the campus (even grad housing) is dry!
* Strict Curve with a forced median all three years.
I always end up reflecting on the past when something is coming to an end. I usually feel a mix of emotions, and this is no different. I remember deciding where to go to law school like it was yesterday, and I honestly can't even comprehend that it's almost over. I have no regrets. I loved school.
Back then, I worried a little bit about the fact that I wasn't going to a top school. I can't say that I would pick my school over a top 10 school if I had the choice today, because I probably wouldn't. But I loved my time here. It never felt stressful to me, I was actually enjoying my life all three years. I got to live in a beautiful area, make new friends and learn a lot about the law. I ended up with the job I wanted (I hope I still have it at least!). I always had time to do things outside of school, and it felt good to do well in my classes.
I have 2 more days of class. Graduation is less than a month away. I don't feel ready to close this chapter of my life. Part of this is because I know the bar exam is waiting. Part of it is because a bunch of my friends are going to be leaving for good to go work in other parts of the world. Part of it is because I have to come to grips with the fact that my identity will no longer be a student. And maybe a little part of it is because I'm still not exactly sure what I'll do next year while I defer. I will really miss my morning drives up the coast, watching the sun sparkle on the ocean. I'll miss the law student schedule and the flexibility of my life. I'll miss seeing my friends everyday and complaining via facebook status about whatever class we were sitting in. I'll miss the time in my Remedies class to upload pictures on the University's network (it only takes like 2 minutes to upload 100 pictures!). I'm really looking forward to starting my career, but since that is still a year and a half away, I'll just let the sad part of finishing school sink in for a little longer.
This guy, the Dean of Student Life, is truly amazing. He taught Torts in my section 1L year. The first day of class, he takes a picture of everyone, and has them write down on an index card certain information. I think it included your name, undergrad school, major, your interests and a fun fact. The next day of class, he spent 20 minutes going through all 76 people in my section without those cards. He had memorized it all. He used the Socratic method, but he would call on people throughout the semester based on their interests when those came up in cases. He's just unreal. My class has 193 people in it, and he knows everything about all of them. Everyone loves him and he loves everyone (or at least acts like it to their face, haha).
Anyway, this breakfast was really open and honest. It felt so good to talk about everything with someone who has the desire and power to create change. I surprised myself with how much I like about the school.
The Good:
* The people. Everyone is nice and friendly and helpful. Seriously, everyone! This includes faculty, staff, and my classmates. Professors give you home phone numbers, invite you to bbq's at their houses and pass on networking info in job searches. Strangers smile and say hi. If anyone needs help, several will jump at the chance to give what they can.
* Required Courses. Every subject except for Community Property that is tested on the CA bar exam is a required course here. That means we have 8 upper division required courses. It definitely makes me less apprehensive about bar prep. Also required is Legal Research and Writing 1L year... you learn how to write motions and an appellate brief, use the blue book and do legal research.
* Form of examinations. Almost all of them are closed book, 2 hours of essays in SoftTest and 1 hour of multiple choice (like the MBEs). Personally, I hate open book exams, maybe because I am good at memorization, so I like this. And once again, I feel like this helps me prepare for the way the Bar tests.
* The location. Ok, this may be the most important part. I go to school on the beach. In the sunshine. It's pretty. It makes me happy. My commute is 20 minutes on PCH. I love it.
* Political Balance. The University is known for being uber-conservative. The law school is too, but to a lesser degree. Actually, there is a very good balance of political viewpoints in both the student body and the faculty. It really makes for good debates and forces people to be open-minded.
The Bad:
* Attendance. Seriously, they take attendance. Supposedly if you miss 6 classes in a semester (when they meet 3 times a week), you can be dropped from the course. And most professors pass around attendance sheets. What is this bullshit?
* Library hours. On Sunday, they don't open until NOON. You know why? Because you're supposed to be at church. Ya, Sunday is sometimes the only day I get any work done the whole week! The library should be open.
* Class Offerings. There are very few transactional courses offered. I will graduate having taken Securities Reg., M&A, Fed. Tax of Business Entities, Ethical Corporate Practice, Corporations and Business Planning, but only because I planned ahead starting my 1L year and signed up for almost everything offered. There are no clinicals available in Corporate stuff.
* Social events are lame. We never have open-bar because the school doesn't sponsor drinking in any way... the campus (even grad housing) is dry!
* Strict Curve with a forced median all three years.
I always end up reflecting on the past when something is coming to an end. I usually feel a mix of emotions, and this is no different. I remember deciding where to go to law school like it was yesterday, and I honestly can't even comprehend that it's almost over. I have no regrets. I loved school.
Back then, I worried a little bit about the fact that I wasn't going to a top school. I can't say that I would pick my school over a top 10 school if I had the choice today, because I probably wouldn't. But I loved my time here. It never felt stressful to me, I was actually enjoying my life all three years. I got to live in a beautiful area, make new friends and learn a lot about the law. I ended up with the job I wanted (I hope I still have it at least!). I always had time to do things outside of school, and it felt good to do well in my classes.
I have 2 more days of class. Graduation is less than a month away. I don't feel ready to close this chapter of my life. Part of this is because I know the bar exam is waiting. Part of it is because a bunch of my friends are going to be leaving for good to go work in other parts of the world. Part of it is because I have to come to grips with the fact that my identity will no longer be a student. And maybe a little part of it is because I'm still not exactly sure what I'll do next year while I defer. I will really miss my morning drives up the coast, watching the sun sparkle on the ocean. I'll miss the law student schedule and the flexibility of my life. I'll miss seeing my friends everyday and complaining via facebook status about whatever class we were sitting in. I'll miss the time in my Remedies class to upload pictures on the University's network (it only takes like 2 minutes to upload 100 pictures!). I'm really looking forward to starting my career, but since that is still a year and a half away, I'll just let the sad part of finishing school sink in for a little longer.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Familiar Twinge of Regret
It's about that time of the semester when I usually realize how much work I need to do in order to prepare for final exams. I like to make my own outlines if I can (and actually, after I make an outline, I usually condense that into a flowchart and just study from that). And every semester, I resolve that next semester I will make my outline as we go along in class so that I won't have to play catch-up. And read for class. And pay attention.
Well, there is no next semester now. So not having read, paid attention or started an outline for a single class I am taking is not what I regret right now. I know I'll be able to take the finals and get a passing grade. I also know that I had an amazing semester enjoying being with Timmy almost full-time.
What I'm feeling right now is that rare emotion where you realize that you are in a class that you like and could actually teach you something that might help your career one day, and you realize that you completely failed to take advantage of that. It doesn't happen often in law school. Especially not if you're interested in transactional law.
I think I've taken three classes like this. Securities Regulation and Federal Tax of Business Entities were the first two. I loved them. I loved the professor. And I Am-Jured them, without it feeling like a lot of work. The third class is the one making me wish I had cared just a little bit this semester about school. It's taught by the same professor as the other two (it's actually my fifth class with him).
We just turned in our Business Planning project yesterday, which is worth 30% of our grade. We were given facts in a money-partner, service-partner scenario for which we had to draft an LLC Agreement, Certificate of Formation, Multiple Representation and Fee Letter Agreement and a Memo describing why we set up the LLC the way we did. I worked on it enough to not be completely embarrassed by it, but I am starting to regret not putting a good effort into it. As I read over my agreement and edited everything in the last hour before it was due, I realized how much I love this stuff.
When I was a paralegal at a big law firm, I remember doing final edits (well, the final paralegal edits) of merger agreements and Chapter 11 filings so that we could meet the deadlines...the whole team of attorneys pulling together to get everything done. There were always moments of terrible stress, but they were completely erased in the relief of meeting the deadline or enjoying the closing dinner. The role I played was always small (obviously a paralegal doesn't do any of the "real" (aka partner) work like negotiating terms or thinking of how to take care of the client's needs). But working on the deals was always thrilling and actually finishing tasks, taking them off your to-do list was so satisfying. This is how I knew I wanted to be a transactional attorney.
Writing this LLC agreement was my first chance to think about how I would negotiate terms and how I could use the knowledge gleaned from classes to actually help clients. And I can't help but regret not completely embracing this opportunity and trying to learn the most I could.
As I indulge in my guilt, I realize that I'm starting to regret not giving myself time or energy to enjoy my last semester of law school. My last semester ever of school! I really like being a student, and somehow I am letting myself be ok with just barely getting by. It's not like I regret the things that I'm doing instead (which is basically just being with Timmy), but nevertheless, I am a little sad I'll look back on the end of law school and only see what I did when I wasn't there.
Well, there is no next semester now. So not having read, paid attention or started an outline for a single class I am taking is not what I regret right now. I know I'll be able to take the finals and get a passing grade. I also know that I had an amazing semester enjoying being with Timmy almost full-time.
What I'm feeling right now is that rare emotion where you realize that you are in a class that you like and could actually teach you something that might help your career one day, and you realize that you completely failed to take advantage of that. It doesn't happen often in law school. Especially not if you're interested in transactional law.
I think I've taken three classes like this. Securities Regulation and Federal Tax of Business Entities were the first two. I loved them. I loved the professor. And I Am-Jured them, without it feeling like a lot of work. The third class is the one making me wish I had cared just a little bit this semester about school. It's taught by the same professor as the other two (it's actually my fifth class with him).
We just turned in our Business Planning project yesterday, which is worth 30% of our grade. We were given facts in a money-partner, service-partner scenario for which we had to draft an LLC Agreement, Certificate of Formation, Multiple Representation and Fee Letter Agreement and a Memo describing why we set up the LLC the way we did. I worked on it enough to not be completely embarrassed by it, but I am starting to regret not putting a good effort into it. As I read over my agreement and edited everything in the last hour before it was due, I realized how much I love this stuff.
When I was a paralegal at a big law firm, I remember doing final edits (well, the final paralegal edits) of merger agreements and Chapter 11 filings so that we could meet the deadlines...the whole team of attorneys pulling together to get everything done. There were always moments of terrible stress, but they were completely erased in the relief of meeting the deadline or enjoying the closing dinner. The role I played was always small (obviously a paralegal doesn't do any of the "real" (aka partner) work like negotiating terms or thinking of how to take care of the client's needs). But working on the deals was always thrilling and actually finishing tasks, taking them off your to-do list was so satisfying. This is how I knew I wanted to be a transactional attorney.
Writing this LLC agreement was my first chance to think about how I would negotiate terms and how I could use the knowledge gleaned from classes to actually help clients. And I can't help but regret not completely embracing this opportunity and trying to learn the most I could.
As I indulge in my guilt, I realize that I'm starting to regret not giving myself time or energy to enjoy my last semester of law school. My last semester ever of school! I really like being a student, and somehow I am letting myself be ok with just barely getting by. It's not like I regret the things that I'm doing instead (which is basically just being with Timmy), but nevertheless, I am a little sad I'll look back on the end of law school and only see what I did when I wasn't there.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Vacation Jet Lag
Last weekend we went to the East Coast to visit PJO's family and see some friends. Timmy was the perfect baby on the flight there and the flight back. I had been terrified of being that parent who has the screaming baby on a full cross-country plane. But. Timmy was great. I think I need to get a CD of airplane noise with a machine that can recreate turbulence because it seemed to be the perfect combo to make him sleep. I had been instructed to put breast milk in his ears and nose prior to the flight to ward off infection and I think we avoided colds/flu.
(pause for me to jinx myself)
I also had been warned that take-off and landing are particularly hard because of the painful adjustments in ear pressure, and that I should nurse him during these times. He fell asleep when we sat down and I knew better than to wake a sleeping baby, so I watched him nervously as the plane taxied down the runway and lifted up...ready to shove a boob in his mouth at the slightest twitch. Turns out, he can sleep through take-off just fine. On landing, he calmly sucked on his pacifier without so much as thinking of crying. He slept the majority of the flight. Usually, he is cranky while he wakes up and it takes him a few minutes to take in his surroundings before calming down. On the plane, there was just sleep and happy wakefulness!
If I had to do it over again (which I will in a few months, I'm sure), the only thing I might change is getting a third seat so we had more room. It definitely wouldn't be necessary, but two larger-than-average adults and a big baby in two airplane seats for 7 hours got a little cramped for sure... especially when I was trying to maneuver him skillfully under my nursing shawl to shield him from all the onlookers in line for the bathroom. If seats were cheap enough and I was feeling spendy, it might be worth it.
Despite a happy baby, the trip was still completely exhausting. Now I'm back to real life and I'm starting to feel totally overwhelmed.
Part of it is school. I know, I know... it doesn't really matter. But. It kind of does. Especially with the market the way it is, I don't want my last semester of law school to be a total disgrace. I only have 14 more days of class (spread over 4 1/2 weeks), and before I finish school, I need to write a substantial research paper, write an LLC agreement and accompanying memorandum, take a midterm that counts towards my grade, and take two final exams. Mind you, I have hardly done anything at all this semester. And I don't exactly have any time built in to get work done. Even if I am OK with getting bad grades, I will still have to get something done that I can physically turn in, and that's stressful.
I also am dealing with medical bills from the birth STILL! Stupid insurance, stupid hospital, stupid anesthesiologist, stupid everyone trying to scam us and not communicating with each other. It's so annoying to take up time during business hours to wait on hold for these people to finally take your call, spend 15 minutes going over the same information you've already gone over with everyone else, and then not solve the problem for you.
But apparently I'm not that overwhelmed, because I still choose to do other stuff in the few spare moments I get during naps... Yesterday I painted 9" wood letters to spell out Timothy for his nursery, made Easter baskets to send to my niece and nephews, tried to figure out where and when we're baptizing Timmy, wrote thank you notes, set up interviews for nannies this summer, mailed in tax forms to the Firm so I can get my bar stipend, etc...
I think I'm stressed because I can't spend as much time as I want to doing all of the fun stuff ... and I definitely can't do it without feeling guilty since I should be studying. Being tired and lazy does not help the situation. The fact that PJO has worked almost every Saturday since Timmy was born adds to this mess. I tell myself today that I will spend part of Sunday at the library while he watches Timmy, but I already know that I'm not going to give up the one day per week we have to be together as a family. So this is how I keep pushing back the date at which it becomes imperative to actually start preparing for the end of the semester.
Lets see how long this game lasts.
(pause for me to jinx myself)
I also had been warned that take-off and landing are particularly hard because of the painful adjustments in ear pressure, and that I should nurse him during these times. He fell asleep when we sat down and I knew better than to wake a sleeping baby, so I watched him nervously as the plane taxied down the runway and lifted up...ready to shove a boob in his mouth at the slightest twitch. Turns out, he can sleep through take-off just fine. On landing, he calmly sucked on his pacifier without so much as thinking of crying. He slept the majority of the flight. Usually, he is cranky while he wakes up and it takes him a few minutes to take in his surroundings before calming down. On the plane, there was just sleep and happy wakefulness!
If I had to do it over again (which I will in a few months, I'm sure), the only thing I might change is getting a third seat so we had more room. It definitely wouldn't be necessary, but two larger-than-average adults and a big baby in two airplane seats for 7 hours got a little cramped for sure... especially when I was trying to maneuver him skillfully under my nursing shawl to shield him from all the onlookers in line for the bathroom. If seats were cheap enough and I was feeling spendy, it might be worth it.
Despite a happy baby, the trip was still completely exhausting. Now I'm back to real life and I'm starting to feel totally overwhelmed.
Part of it is school. I know, I know... it doesn't really matter. But. It kind of does. Especially with the market the way it is, I don't want my last semester of law school to be a total disgrace. I only have 14 more days of class (spread over 4 1/2 weeks), and before I finish school, I need to write a substantial research paper, write an LLC agreement and accompanying memorandum, take a midterm that counts towards my grade, and take two final exams. Mind you, I have hardly done anything at all this semester. And I don't exactly have any time built in to get work done. Even if I am OK with getting bad grades, I will still have to get something done that I can physically turn in, and that's stressful.
I also am dealing with medical bills from the birth STILL! Stupid insurance, stupid hospital, stupid anesthesiologist, stupid everyone trying to scam us and not communicating with each other. It's so annoying to take up time during business hours to wait on hold for these people to finally take your call, spend 15 minutes going over the same information you've already gone over with everyone else, and then not solve the problem for you.
But apparently I'm not that overwhelmed, because I still choose to do other stuff in the few spare moments I get during naps... Yesterday I painted 9" wood letters to spell out Timothy for his nursery, made Easter baskets to send to my niece and nephews, tried to figure out where and when we're baptizing Timmy, wrote thank you notes, set up interviews for nannies this summer, mailed in tax forms to the Firm so I can get my bar stipend, etc...
I think I'm stressed because I can't spend as much time as I want to doing all of the fun stuff ... and I definitely can't do it without feeling guilty since I should be studying. Being tired and lazy does not help the situation. The fact that PJO has worked almost every Saturday since Timmy was born adds to this mess. I tell myself today that I will spend part of Sunday at the library while he watches Timmy, but I already know that I'm not going to give up the one day per week we have to be together as a family. So this is how I keep pushing back the date at which it becomes imperative to actually start preparing for the end of the semester.
Lets see how long this game lasts.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
How do you make time slow down?
This semester is already half over! I'm loving my law student/mom schedule, although in retrospect, I should have scheduled a nanny for more than one hour in which I could do work each week. Behind in my classes would be a huge understatement. My finals are two months away, which means the bar is close behind. I officially applied to take it last weekend, and my receipts for reimbursement are submitted to the firm! Eek, slow down!!!!
The California bar exam is July 28th, 29th and 30th. I graduate May 22nd. My tentative plan is to hire a nanny for the months of June and July. I was thinking 40 hours a week...hopefully enough time to listen to my ipod lectures, study and occasionally do me-stuff (like errands or the gym... haha, maybe).
I emailed local chapters of my sorority (I knew that would serve a purpose after college!) to advertise a nanny position for this summer while I study for the bar. Now I have to interview them and decide exactly what I want.
I have no idea how much to pay. When I nannied in college, I was paid $15 an hour for really easy work (an 8 year old boy and a 12 year old girl, but usually just one of them at a time...just hanging out with the kids, nothing else). But I'm pretty sure I can't afford $4,500. Even $10 per hour would be a lot of money (although that's what I pay my babysitter now for 15 hours per week). Also, I'm guessing I should not pay under the table, which means that I will need to pay the nanny tax/benefits.
So I have two questions:
1. How many hours should I get a nanny for? I'm assuming I won't get much studying done when I'm home with Timmy alone, and I want to keep my weekends as free as possible as long as I can. But obviously I want to make sure I study enough to pass the bar the first time.
2. What is a fair salary to pay a college student to watch a 6 month old for two months? (Just hanging out with Timmy, no cooking/cleaning/etc...)
Or maybe I can just buy a bunch of batteries and keep Timmy in his swing, occasionally taking him out to feed and change him...
The California bar exam is July 28th, 29th and 30th. I graduate May 22nd. My tentative plan is to hire a nanny for the months of June and July. I was thinking 40 hours a week...hopefully enough time to listen to my ipod lectures, study and occasionally do me-stuff (like errands or the gym... haha, maybe).
I emailed local chapters of my sorority (I knew that would serve a purpose after college!) to advertise a nanny position for this summer while I study for the bar. Now I have to interview them and decide exactly what I want.
I have no idea how much to pay. When I nannied in college, I was paid $15 an hour for really easy work (an 8 year old boy and a 12 year old girl, but usually just one of them at a time...just hanging out with the kids, nothing else). But I'm pretty sure I can't afford $4,500. Even $10 per hour would be a lot of money (although that's what I pay my babysitter now for 15 hours per week). Also, I'm guessing I should not pay under the table, which means that I will need to pay the nanny tax/benefits.
So I have two questions:
1. How many hours should I get a nanny for? I'm assuming I won't get much studying done when I'm home with Timmy alone, and I want to keep my weekends as free as possible as long as I can. But obviously I want to make sure I study enough to pass the bar the first time.
2. What is a fair salary to pay a college student to watch a 6 month old for two months? (Just hanging out with Timmy, no cooking/cleaning/etc...)
Or maybe I can just buy a bunch of batteries and keep Timmy in his swing, occasionally taking him out to feed and change him...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Funny Thing About Law School
There is a really fucked up relationship between the amount of effort you put into school and the grades you get. The less I try, the less I care and the more distracted I am, the better my grades are.
Even though I took 17 units and was pregnant, last fall was my best semester grades-wise thus far. Fall of 2007 I got married and did OCI (which completely took away any motivation to do well) and I got good grades then too.
It's not that I always do well, because I don't. Last spring I had nothing else to do besides school and I think I did a lot of work (compared to my other semesters), but my grades were kind of terrible.
I'm hoping this rule applies with equal force this semester since I really couldn't care less about school and haven't been reading or paying attention in class. I've been telling myself it doesn't matter how I do now because I have a job lined up, but with the economy in the shitter I should probably at least acknowledge the possibility that a job offer could be rescinded. Maybe next week, I'm too tired to deal with that kind of depressing prospect now.
Even though I took 17 units and was pregnant, last fall was my best semester grades-wise thus far. Fall of 2007 I got married and did OCI (which completely took away any motivation to do well) and I got good grades then too.
It's not that I always do well, because I don't. Last spring I had nothing else to do besides school and I think I did a lot of work (compared to my other semesters), but my grades were kind of terrible.
I'm hoping this rule applies with equal force this semester since I really couldn't care less about school and haven't been reading or paying attention in class. I've been telling myself it doesn't matter how I do now because I have a job lined up, but with the economy in the shitter I should probably at least acknowledge the possibility that a job offer could be rescinded. Maybe next week, I'm too tired to deal with that kind of depressing prospect now.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The Other Kind of Bar
As in exam, not happy hour. In the past 24 hours, I've gotten the following emails:
An invoice and class schedule from Bar Bri.
A message from our school career office telling us that if it's been more than 3 months since we got our live scan fingerprinting done for the moral character application, we will need to do it again. Then another email saying, oh actually, maybe it's ok as long as you submit your moral character application by January 30th. You should call them yourself to make sure. Oh and by the way, if you need to have your fingerprinting redone, we're only doing it on campus on the days you don't have class. And that will be another $20. Our bad.
An update from the firm letting us know how we can get reimbursed for all these fees and what they'll pay for. (They won't pay for the ipod version of bar bri, so I might just be paying the extra cost for that myself ... but they cover pretty much everything else. Thank God, just the moral character application is like $475 or something).
So wow. The Bar exam really is going to happen this year. And I have to actually do stuff related to it before the end of this month. And eventually cram all this useless knowledge into my head for 3 fun-filled days of exam-taking and two fun-filled months of studying all the time. Woohoo.
An invoice and class schedule from Bar Bri.
A message from our school career office telling us that if it's been more than 3 months since we got our live scan fingerprinting done for the moral character application, we will need to do it again. Then another email saying, oh actually, maybe it's ok as long as you submit your moral character application by January 30th. You should call them yourself to make sure. Oh and by the way, if you need to have your fingerprinting redone, we're only doing it on campus on the days you don't have class. And that will be another $20. Our bad.
An update from the firm letting us know how we can get reimbursed for all these fees and what they'll pay for. (They won't pay for the ipod version of bar bri, so I might just be paying the extra cost for that myself ... but they cover pretty much everything else. Thank God, just the moral character application is like $475 or something).
So wow. The Bar exam really is going to happen this year. And I have to actually do stuff related to it before the end of this month. And eventually cram all this useless knowledge into my head for 3 fun-filled days of exam-taking and two fun-filled months of studying all the time. Woohoo.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Lessons for a new parent
After finishing my first week of being a mother and a law student, I can say that some things are easier than I expected, and some things are harder. Leaving him with my mom to go to school, concentrating on school while I am there, dropping pregnancy weight and resuming my "normal" life so soon after having a baby were all surprisingly easy. The hard part?
Having to be awake and productive at a set time of the day. I used to wake up every day at 6am, so classes starting at 8:40am didn't seem bad at all. But it IS when you can't control what time you go to sleep (if you do), and when your baby will be hungry (probably RIGHT before you need to walk out the door). I have slept in until 11am a few days and felt exhausted because I still only got about 6 or 7 hours of sleep total.
Not being able to nurse or pump while I'm gone, and making a conscious effort to not touch my boobs constantly in class to make sure that I'm not leaking through to my shirt.
Learning to relax. Honestly. The hardest part of becoming a mother in general, besides the physical exhaustion from lack of sleep, is forcing yourself to let go of your mental to-do list. I thrived on making lists, on crossing things off of them and making new lists. One of my favorite January purchases is always a planner. But now, if I even have time to write something down on that list, I definitely don't have time to do it. It sends me into a panic when I think of how quickly that list is growing. Some things are really not important, like writing thank you notes and ordering birth announcements. School work and starting my moral character application seem important, but I know that if I don't get to it this week, I can catch up at some point. Responding to emails from friends and family or uploading pictures to send out would be nice, but it won't come before sleep. Laundry and cleaning drive me crazy when they're not done, and I usually get that done in my few minutes of free time, but even that has started to get out of control.
The other day, I found myself staring at a crying Timmy and trying to wish him to sleep. Not because I couldn't stand his cries or because I knew he needed it, but because I really wanted to get some chores done. And then it hit me: I'm not letting myself just enjoy my time with my new baby, I'm trying to squeeze it in to my life along with so many less important things! Don't get me wrong, it would be great if newborns slept 10 hours straight in a night so that you could play with them all day, get stuff done AND sleep. But obviously that's not how it works. And I do know that I have to take care of myself too. I sometimes act like I will never burn out and that I have a higher stress tolerance than other people, but I just don't. Since I didn't make a new years resolution, I'm resolving now to do less. Take care of my baby, my husband and myself. And sleep when I can. I have the rest of my life to get "stuff" done, but I only have newborn time with my first child once, so I don't want to look back someday and wonder why I read for class instead of snuggling with him.
Of course, that isn't to say I don't fully appreciate the value of the swing:
Having to be awake and productive at a set time of the day. I used to wake up every day at 6am, so classes starting at 8:40am didn't seem bad at all. But it IS when you can't control what time you go to sleep (if you do), and when your baby will be hungry (probably RIGHT before you need to walk out the door). I have slept in until 11am a few days and felt exhausted because I still only got about 6 or 7 hours of sleep total.
Not being able to nurse or pump while I'm gone, and making a conscious effort to not touch my boobs constantly in class to make sure that I'm not leaking through to my shirt.
Learning to relax. Honestly. The hardest part of becoming a mother in general, besides the physical exhaustion from lack of sleep, is forcing yourself to let go of your mental to-do list. I thrived on making lists, on crossing things off of them and making new lists. One of my favorite January purchases is always a planner. But now, if I even have time to write something down on that list, I definitely don't have time to do it. It sends me into a panic when I think of how quickly that list is growing. Some things are really not important, like writing thank you notes and ordering birth announcements. School work and starting my moral character application seem important, but I know that if I don't get to it this week, I can catch up at some point. Responding to emails from friends and family or uploading pictures to send out would be nice, but it won't come before sleep. Laundry and cleaning drive me crazy when they're not done, and I usually get that done in my few minutes of free time, but even that has started to get out of control.
The other day, I found myself staring at a crying Timmy and trying to wish him to sleep. Not because I couldn't stand his cries or because I knew he needed it, but because I really wanted to get some chores done. And then it hit me: I'm not letting myself just enjoy my time with my new baby, I'm trying to squeeze it in to my life along with so many less important things! Don't get me wrong, it would be great if newborns slept 10 hours straight in a night so that you could play with them all day, get stuff done AND sleep. But obviously that's not how it works. And I do know that I have to take care of myself too. I sometimes act like I will never burn out and that I have a higher stress tolerance than other people, but I just don't. Since I didn't make a new years resolution, I'm resolving now to do less. Take care of my baby, my husband and myself. And sleep when I can. I have the rest of my life to get "stuff" done, but I only have newborn time with my first child once, so I don't want to look back someday and wonder why I read for class instead of snuggling with him.
Of course, that isn't to say I don't fully appreciate the value of the swing:
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Freedom to Be Unsure
I feel really uncomfortable being wrong. Almost worse is not even knowing what my opinion about something is. If I have a view on particular issue, there is comfort in being able to put forth arguments in support of it; when I don't know, I feel vulnerable and completely open to attack from everyone who does know what they think.
As someone who is very opinionated, the times where I honestly do not have an opinion or where I will admit I am wrong are few and far between. I usually embrace debate and discussions on controversial issues, especially when I can take a strong stance that allows for intense back-and-forth exchanges.
My Bioethics seminar is teaching me a lot about myself already. I signed up for the class because it fit in my schedule and did not have a final exam. Of course, I thought it would be interesting, but I had no idea HOW interesting. Yesterday we talked about who should make health care decisions. There was a case of a man who was on life support; he was an illegal immigrant with no health insurance who refused a do not resuscitate order. His quality of life was never going to improve, he would just be sustained. He would require 24-7 care from his family and professionals and very expensive treatment and equipment. The question posed in class was what parties should have input in this decision: The patient? The family members? The doctors? The health care and insurance companies? The government?
I couldn't articulate an answer. The more I thought about it, the more unsure I was.
Tomorrow we're looking at the case of conjoined twins. If they are not separated, they will both die, but a separation would kill the weaker one and the surviving twin would still require special care. Do the parents have the choice to do nothing? Should it be impacted by the doctors' opinion that they should be separated?
Later on in the semester, we look at abortion, ethical issues regarding medical research, euthanasia, and stem cell research. For once, I'm just excited to learn more and hear what other people say rather than have a forum to voice my convictions about what is the right view and the wrong view. I think this has to do with the professor. Last semester, I took a seminar called Law & Morality. The professor was an ultra-conservative evangelist who blatantly endorsed his views as the right ones. I found myself opposing him just to be contrarian because I find that completely obnoxious from a professor. My bioethics professor is totally neutral, but I know that she is liberal, which in a way lends her more credibility in my eyes.
It feels really good to be undecided and to allow myself to be swayed by the more persuasive arguments. I am already looking forward to tomorrow's class, which I did not think would happen this semester. (I mean, I thought the only thing I would be looking forward to this semester was graduation). I'm also kind of excited to pick a paper topic (it can be on any issue in bioethics) and research it. Being excited about even a single class makes it much easier to get motivated to go to school.
As someone who is very opinionated, the times where I honestly do not have an opinion or where I will admit I am wrong are few and far between. I usually embrace debate and discussions on controversial issues, especially when I can take a strong stance that allows for intense back-and-forth exchanges.
My Bioethics seminar is teaching me a lot about myself already. I signed up for the class because it fit in my schedule and did not have a final exam. Of course, I thought it would be interesting, but I had no idea HOW interesting. Yesterday we talked about who should make health care decisions. There was a case of a man who was on life support; he was an illegal immigrant with no health insurance who refused a do not resuscitate order. His quality of life was never going to improve, he would just be sustained. He would require 24-7 care from his family and professionals and very expensive treatment and equipment. The question posed in class was what parties should have input in this decision: The patient? The family members? The doctors? The health care and insurance companies? The government?
I couldn't articulate an answer. The more I thought about it, the more unsure I was.
Tomorrow we're looking at the case of conjoined twins. If they are not separated, they will both die, but a separation would kill the weaker one and the surviving twin would still require special care. Do the parents have the choice to do nothing? Should it be impacted by the doctors' opinion that they should be separated?
Later on in the semester, we look at abortion, ethical issues regarding medical research, euthanasia, and stem cell research. For once, I'm just excited to learn more and hear what other people say rather than have a forum to voice my convictions about what is the right view and the wrong view. I think this has to do with the professor. Last semester, I took a seminar called Law & Morality. The professor was an ultra-conservative evangelist who blatantly endorsed his views as the right ones. I found myself opposing him just to be contrarian because I find that completely obnoxious from a professor. My bioethics professor is totally neutral, but I know that she is liberal, which in a way lends her more credibility in my eyes.
It feels really good to be undecided and to allow myself to be swayed by the more persuasive arguments. I am already looking forward to tomorrow's class, which I did not think would happen this semester. (I mean, I thought the only thing I would be looking forward to this semester was graduation). I'm also kind of excited to pick a paper topic (it can be on any issue in bioethics) and research it. Being excited about even a single class makes it much easier to get motivated to go to school.
Monday, January 12, 2009
First Day - Check
Today I went to class and PJO went to work. And we survived!
My mom came up to our place on Sunday night. Having her there to cuddle Timmy and soothe him at his fussiest (which happened to be on a whole new scale of fussy) proved to be invaluable. He was basically awake from 5pm to 12:30am, acting hungry and/or gassy most of the time. She rocked him and burped him so we could go to sleep at 10. She was a miracle worker. Not only did he calm down eventually, but he then slept in perfect 3 hour increments until 10am and didn't make a peep each time I put him back down. I felt so refreshed this morning when we woke up at 6:15.
I got ready, packed my stuff for school and fed him at 7am. I was out the door by 7:45.
It was beautiful outside today (80 degrees and sunny), so my mom took him for his first Starbucks run, a walk to the beach and then came back for some tummy time. He had two (very) little bottles* while I was gone and nursed when I got home.
This afternoon I was able to clean and read and make lunch when I got home while he napped.
It felt awesome to be at school and having conversations about something besides poop and burps and sleep. It was nice to see old friends and professors. I was surprised and impressed at how focused I was on school while I was there. I wouldn't say I'm loving being a student right now, but I can definitely handle this whole 4 hour a day schedule. I am slightly worried about getting work done during the week while I'm home with Timmy, but I think it should be fine.
I never really thought I would have a problem leaving him to go to school, and I didn't today. I was so preoccupied with the pragmatic aspects of leaving him that I completely missed any emotional issues. It was really nice to come home to a happy Timmy and a happy Grandma, especially because I felt new energy and patience to deal with a newborn after having some adult time.
Tomorrow is our first day to spend the whole day together with nothing planned and PJO at work. I am going to take him for walks and cuddle him and just enjoy my baby. I can't wait.
* Turns out pumping is not super productive yet when I have to squeeze it in between feeding a hungry boy every 2-3 hours. I've managed to do it about 5 times, but I only get between 2.5 and 3.5oz each time. Today I got 9 ounces in about 8 minutes because I had gone so long without feeding him (about 7 hours).
My mom came up to our place on Sunday night. Having her there to cuddle Timmy and soothe him at his fussiest (which happened to be on a whole new scale of fussy) proved to be invaluable. He was basically awake from 5pm to 12:30am, acting hungry and/or gassy most of the time. She rocked him and burped him so we could go to sleep at 10. She was a miracle worker. Not only did he calm down eventually, but he then slept in perfect 3 hour increments until 10am and didn't make a peep each time I put him back down. I felt so refreshed this morning when we woke up at 6:15.
I got ready, packed my stuff for school and fed him at 7am. I was out the door by 7:45.
It was beautiful outside today (80 degrees and sunny), so my mom took him for his first Starbucks run, a walk to the beach and then came back for some tummy time. He had two (very) little bottles* while I was gone and nursed when I got home.
This afternoon I was able to clean and read and make lunch when I got home while he napped.
It felt awesome to be at school and having conversations about something besides poop and burps and sleep. It was nice to see old friends and professors. I was surprised and impressed at how focused I was on school while I was there. I wouldn't say I'm loving being a student right now, but I can definitely handle this whole 4 hour a day schedule. I am slightly worried about getting work done during the week while I'm home with Timmy, but I think it should be fine.
I never really thought I would have a problem leaving him to go to school, and I didn't today. I was so preoccupied with the pragmatic aspects of leaving him that I completely missed any emotional issues. It was really nice to come home to a happy Timmy and a happy Grandma, especially because I felt new energy and patience to deal with a newborn after having some adult time.
Tomorrow is our first day to spend the whole day together with nothing planned and PJO at work. I am going to take him for walks and cuddle him and just enjoy my baby. I can't wait.
* Turns out pumping is not super productive yet when I have to squeeze it in between feeding a hungry boy every 2-3 hours. I've managed to do it about 5 times, but I only get between 2.5 and 3.5oz each time. Today I got 9 ounces in about 8 minutes because I had gone so long without feeding him (about 7 hours).
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The Plan
Monday starts my last semester of law school. I have carefully thought out and planned for this since almost a year ago. I took 17 units last fall so that I would only need to take 10 this semester. Then I scheduled all my classes together so I wouldn't be gone from him for that long. I think it's going to work out great. At least I hope it will.
I have class 10:20-12:30 on Mondays and 8:40-12:30 on Wednesdays and Fridays. With my 25 minute commute each way, I will be gone 8am to 1pm MWF, giving myself a couple hours Monday morning to take care of stuff at school before class starts. Starting February 2nd, we have a babysitter (our friend) who will come to our place and hang out with Timmy. For the first three weeks of school, my mom is going to be here with him. I'm really glad to have my mom for that time because I completely trust her. Timmy will be a little over a month old when our friend starts watching him, which will be a little more comfortable for both of them (and me).
I'm not excited for class, but I am excited to have a little break from being at home with an infant all day. I think it will be a good, long, slow transition to being away full time. (Studying for the bar exam this summer and eventually working next fall). I obviously haven't gone the traditional maternity leave route, but I almost think this will be easier. I can't imagine what an abrupt transition it is to go from being home all day, every day to working all day, every day. A few hours a week seems much better to me, even though I have to start leaving him after only 2.5 weeks.
It will be nice to have to full week days off. I had that once before, but I was taking a full load of classes so I usually ended up doing work on those days. This semester I will be devoting all the time to Timmy, PJO and myself.
I have class 10:20-12:30 on Mondays and 8:40-12:30 on Wednesdays and Fridays. With my 25 minute commute each way, I will be gone 8am to 1pm MWF, giving myself a couple hours Monday morning to take care of stuff at school before class starts. Starting February 2nd, we have a babysitter (our friend) who will come to our place and hang out with Timmy. For the first three weeks of school, my mom is going to be here with him. I'm really glad to have my mom for that time because I completely trust her. Timmy will be a little over a month old when our friend starts watching him, which will be a little more comfortable for both of them (and me).
I'm not excited for class, but I am excited to have a little break from being at home with an infant all day. I think it will be a good, long, slow transition to being away full time. (Studying for the bar exam this summer and eventually working next fall). I obviously haven't gone the traditional maternity leave route, but I almost think this will be easier. I can't imagine what an abrupt transition it is to go from being home all day, every day to working all day, every day. A few hours a week seems much better to me, even though I have to start leaving him after only 2.5 weeks.
It will be nice to have to full week days off. I had that once before, but I was taking a full load of classes so I usually ended up doing work on those days. This semester I will be devoting all the time to Timmy, PJO and myself.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Reunited, and it feels so good
With my normal jeans. No more baggy, too-short, waist-banded ugly jeans. and my regular shirts fit too. It's like I'm an actual member of society.
We're all feeling better... Timmy seems to have recovered from the trauma yesterday. It wasn't too bad after all. PJO was pretty proud when the doctor said Timmy needed the bigger size ring for his little pee pee. I nursed him in the room right after and that calmed him down. Then he was a little fussy that afternoon, but he was fine.
Today I'll be reunited with school too because I'm going to buy my books (and maybe show off Timmy). That's the less exciting reunion of the two today.
We're all feeling better... Timmy seems to have recovered from the trauma yesterday. It wasn't too bad after all. PJO was pretty proud when the doctor said Timmy needed the bigger size ring for his little pee pee. I nursed him in the room right after and that calmed him down. Then he was a little fussy that afternoon, but he was fine.
Today I'll be reunited with school too because I'm going to buy my books (and maybe show off Timmy). That's the less exciting reunion of the two today.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
17 Units. Done.
This semester went by so fast. And it was surprisingly painless. per usual, I have no idea what my grades will be like, but such is the nature of a strict curve I guess. I'm sure it will end up being status quo.
Tomorrow begins operation Christmas and operation get-this-baby-OUT!
Tomorrow begins operation Christmas and operation get-this-baby-OUT!
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