It may be apparent from some of my posts this semester that I am over school. I don't think that my classes are any different than the past two years (when I actually liked school), but my motivation to do well is basically gone. The incentive is just not there: I have a job, I have taken the classes that will be on the bar exam and that I might use for my career, and I have satisfied all of the graduation requirements except taking the requisite number of credits. Plus, I have a few other things I would rather be doing (like enjoying my last few months of baby-free marriage and then being a mom next semester).
This week was a really good week at school though. I wouldn't say I'm in love with it again, but I'm totally in like. I'm taking this seminar on Law & Morality with about 24 people... approximately 3/4 of the class, including the professor, is really conservative and natural law-ish. I am libertarian, socially liberal and very vocal. I LOVE being contrarian and thinking of logical ways to prove other people (especially the high and mighty, holier-than-thou crowd) wrong. This class assigns political and legal theory readings, right up the alley of a political science major.
The paper in this class could be on any topic we chose, so I am writing on why federal law should not strive to reflect morality, basically arguing that we should not legislate morality on victimless crimes...drug use, prostitution, gay marriage, assisted suicide, etc... (and I'm actually in the minority with that view in this class). I was already excited to work on it because I get to talk about two of my favorites, John Stuart Mill and H.L.A. Hart a lot. Then this week, talking to a Con Law professor working on his latest book, I realized that I could use the 9th Amendment (especially his interpretation of it) to argue my thesis on a Constitutional basis as well as a policy basis.
This made me excited to write the paper (which is due Tuesday), and the words just flowed onto the paper (well, my computer). For me, motivation to do schoolwork is all about momentum... getting over that initial hump. Once I get something done and off my checklist, I feel like I am actually learning and making headway. This makes me excited to do the next thing on my to-do list.
The other amazing thing is my advanced Con Law seminar. A few weeks ago, the professor told us that it was going to be graded on a pass-fail basis because there were multiple professors. Then on Monday, he said that because it's being graded pass-fail, he can't in good conscience make us do the paper. Really?!?! AMAZING!Every week, we read the briefs for cases before the Supreme Court and take turns making oral arguments as petitioners and respondents to the rest of the class. We were supposed to write an opinion on one of these cases. Now that 20 page opinion is suddenly crossed off of my to-do list! I'm not waiting around to hear what the catch is, I'm taking this news and running with it!
What all of this means is that I will be done with 5 credits next week. My few law review duties are almost done. Then I just have 4 classes, one of which I'm taking pass-fail, left to study for final exams. I have a lot of catch-up work to do, and I don't think it will be easy, but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
No Time Like the Present
If I had to pick the single, most commonly-given piece of advice I got when PJO and I were trying to decide whether to start a family this year, it would have to be "there is no perfect time to have kids." This made sense to me and (obviously) we decided to to go for it. After finding out I was pregnant, the things that would have made us decide our timing was off happened...
In June, PJO decided to switch jobs. He left a very stable, but equally unsatisfying, job with amazing benefits where he worked from home. His new job at an investment firm was going to pay him more money, was walking distance from our apartment, and offered him opportunity to try new things and work with real, live people.
Of course, that didn't end well. The firm was hit really hard with the bad market and they laid him off two months later along with a bunch of other people. After only 5 days of unemployment, he found another job. The only problem was that it was a contract position. While it paid really well, we never knew how long he would be employed for and there were no benefits included.
Today, that contract job turned into a permanent position! I never doubted that he would find a permanent job, and suprisingly, I wasn't worried or stressed out by all of this, but I know it was a huge burden on him.
What I learned from this experience is that what they say is true: there really is no perfect time to start a family. Obviously we would have preferred to have complete job security before we add a baby to the mix. We would like to not have to worry about money, or how we were going to pay for childcare and health insurance. But all of these things can still creep into your life even when you think that you have it all set-up perfectly. Tragedy and hardship can strike indiscriminately and at the most inopportune moments, but you can't live your life walking on eggshells, taking no chances because of a possibility things won't be perfect. Things don't need to be perfect. We make choices hoping for the best, preparing for the worst, and dealing with what we have been dealt the best way we can.
In June, PJO decided to switch jobs. He left a very stable, but equally unsatisfying, job with amazing benefits where he worked from home. His new job at an investment firm was going to pay him more money, was walking distance from our apartment, and offered him opportunity to try new things and work with real, live people.
Of course, that didn't end well. The firm was hit really hard with the bad market and they laid him off two months later along with a bunch of other people. After only 5 days of unemployment, he found another job. The only problem was that it was a contract position. While it paid really well, we never knew how long he would be employed for and there were no benefits included.
Today, that contract job turned into a permanent position! I never doubted that he would find a permanent job, and suprisingly, I wasn't worried or stressed out by all of this, but I know it was a huge burden on him.
What I learned from this experience is that what they say is true: there really is no perfect time to start a family. Obviously we would have preferred to have complete job security before we add a baby to the mix. We would like to not have to worry about money, or how we were going to pay for childcare and health insurance. But all of these things can still creep into your life even when you think that you have it all set-up perfectly. Tragedy and hardship can strike indiscriminately and at the most inopportune moments, but you can't live your life walking on eggshells, taking no chances because of a possibility things won't be perfect. Things don't need to be perfect. We make choices hoping for the best, preparing for the worst, and dealing with what we have been dealt the best way we can.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
7 Months ... Holy Shit!
Two months from today is Uno's EDD. Part of me feels anxious for that day to get here, but then I remember that before he arrives, I need to attend two weddings, go to NYC, host Thanksgiving dinner and do enough work to get respectable grades in my 17 units of law school, and oh ya, learn how to be a parent... hence the "holy shit!"
I'm a little embarrassed to admit that the nursery is complete... i.e. bedding washed and put on the mattress I made PJO go buy with me today to put in our crib that was delivered this week which has the matching mobile attached to it already... I always try to rationalize being so ahead of schedule by saying that I wouldn't want to wait until 8 or 9 months when I have final exams and papers and other really important stuff that I couldn't possibly spare a single minute setting up the nursery. First of all, this just isn't the rationalization that prompted me to do all of this in the first place. Second of all, there is no better time to procrastinate than during finals, and I really couldn't afford to spare a singe minute this weekend considering I have a final paper due in a week that is sitting right at the 3-page mark. BUT YAY, it's done and I can send people pictures of it now!
Finally, here's a picture of the steadily growing baby bump from right before I headed over to the shower yesterday:
I'm a little embarrassed to admit that the nursery is complete... i.e. bedding washed and put on the mattress I made PJO go buy with me today to put in our crib that was delivered this week which has the matching mobile attached to it already... I always try to rationalize being so ahead of schedule by saying that I wouldn't want to wait until 8 or 9 months when I have final exams and papers and other really important stuff that I couldn't possibly spare a single minute setting up the nursery. First of all, this just isn't the rationalization that prompted me to do all of this in the first place. Second of all, there is no better time to procrastinate than during finals, and I really couldn't afford to spare a singe minute this weekend considering I have a final paper due in a week that is sitting right at the 3-page mark. BUT YAY, it's done and I can send people pictures of it now!
Finally, here's a picture of the steadily growing baby bump from right before I headed over to the shower yesterday:
Shower Power
Yesterday, my best friend from school hosted a baby shower for me. It was so much fun! Coming from someone who generally dislikes showers (well, really just those thrown for me ... I hate opening presents in front of people, especially when I am not giving them something too), that's saying a lot.
The people were a pretty good mix of law school friends, work friends, and old friends. The catering was all courtesy of the boyfriend of the hostess (who is amazingly skilled) plus Sprinkles cupcakes in my favorite flavor (Red Velvet), PJO's favorite flavor (chocolate peanut butter) and everyone's favorite stand-by (chocolate). My mom helped put on the shower, which included a book of pictures from my birth to now with captions, plus some of my writing gems from childhood (I was a very, uh, creative, writer). Everyone had a few laughs at my expense. There was a special blue martini for the guests in Uno's honor and lots of wine and champagne. Everyone decorated onesies with outrageously inappropriate sayings on them. They all wrote a piece of advice on cards for me. Then they all showered Uno with baby gear, adorable clothes and blankets and lots of my favorite children's books.
We have almost everything we registered for now (just a few small things left) and we got a few things that I never even dreamed about. My mom had an antique music box she used for my brothers and I restored and gave it to us, and the music brings back a lot of memories.
It's kind of awesome that we now have pretty much everything we need, but the real benefit of the shower was being able to hang out with that many of my girlfriends at one time. Some of them I see every day, but others I hadn't seen in a long time. And I think it was only better because most of us had never been to a baby shower before. We had a few old pros (especially my mom) who helped run things. The rest of us had a normal party except there happened to be really cute baby stuff everywhere. Plus, there was a novelty in it all for most people, so it seemed like people genuinely enjoyed this glimpse into the world of baby.
I'm glad that I took advantage of my baby shower opportunity and really had a great time! Although I got married and will be having my first child at a young age, I don't feel like I will look back and wish I had waited until I was more mature or better off financially or whatever to do all of this "the right way." PJO and I are incredibly blessed and we're certainly not skimping on anything that we feel is important.
The people were a pretty good mix of law school friends, work friends, and old friends. The catering was all courtesy of the boyfriend of the hostess (who is amazingly skilled) plus Sprinkles cupcakes in my favorite flavor (Red Velvet), PJO's favorite flavor (chocolate peanut butter) and everyone's favorite stand-by (chocolate). My mom helped put on the shower, which included a book of pictures from my birth to now with captions, plus some of my writing gems from childhood (I was a very, uh, creative, writer). Everyone had a few laughs at my expense. There was a special blue martini for the guests in Uno's honor and lots of wine and champagne. Everyone decorated onesies with outrageously inappropriate sayings on them. They all wrote a piece of advice on cards for me. Then they all showered Uno with baby gear, adorable clothes and blankets and lots of my favorite children's books.
We have almost everything we registered for now (just a few small things left) and we got a few things that I never even dreamed about. My mom had an antique music box she used for my brothers and I restored and gave it to us, and the music brings back a lot of memories.
It's kind of awesome that we now have pretty much everything we need, but the real benefit of the shower was being able to hang out with that many of my girlfriends at one time. Some of them I see every day, but others I hadn't seen in a long time. And I think it was only better because most of us had never been to a baby shower before. We had a few old pros (especially my mom) who helped run things. The rest of us had a normal party except there happened to be really cute baby stuff everywhere. Plus, there was a novelty in it all for most people, so it seemed like people genuinely enjoyed this glimpse into the world of baby.
I'm glad that I took advantage of my baby shower opportunity and really had a great time! Although I got married and will be having my first child at a young age, I don't feel like I will look back and wish I had waited until I was more mature or better off financially or whatever to do all of this "the right way." PJO and I are incredibly blessed and we're certainly not skimping on anything that we feel is important.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Reaction to Reaction
The reaction of most people at law school to news that I am pregnant was mostly congratulatory and excited. Very few people looked at me like I was crazy. Best of all, most people moved on quickly and resumed normal life and regular conversation about non-baby related stuff.
All of the sudden, I am causing public outbursts with my big, pregnant belly. Today, I was waiting in line to get fingerprinted for the moral character application when this girl walked up to me. I have never seen her before in my life, but she was apparently a student. She took one look at me, and (very loudly) exclaimed "What are you going to do if your water breaks at school?!?!" I looked at her in disbelief until I realized that she expected me to answer. First of all, what a ridiculous question. Second of all, that's so rude. I wanted to respond to her, "oh my gosh, what are you going to do if one day you get your period unexpectedly at school and don't have any extra tampons?!?!" I restrained myself.
About 30 minutes later, the guy scanning fingerprints asked everyone's favorite question upon seeing a baby bump... "soooooo, when are you due?"
I told him December 26th, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. Of course it wasn't. "You just doomed that child to a life of misery. Why don't you tell him his birthday is in July or something?" I always respond to this with a laugh and say it's good to teach kids humility, etc, etc... But he kept going, rambling on about self-esteem or something like that. Seriously? Don't you have better things to worry about?! Or hey, maybe you could just stick to doing your job without the commentary?
I guess it's better to have your friends and family react positively, but I could really do without everyone that I have never met before voicing an opinion on my reproductive choices. Thanks.
All of the sudden, I am causing public outbursts with my big, pregnant belly. Today, I was waiting in line to get fingerprinted for the moral character application when this girl walked up to me. I have never seen her before in my life, but she was apparently a student. She took one look at me, and (very loudly) exclaimed "What are you going to do if your water breaks at school?!?!" I looked at her in disbelief until I realized that she expected me to answer. First of all, what a ridiculous question. Second of all, that's so rude. I wanted to respond to her, "oh my gosh, what are you going to do if one day you get your period unexpectedly at school and don't have any extra tampons?!?!" I restrained myself.
About 30 minutes later, the guy scanning fingerprints asked everyone's favorite question upon seeing a baby bump... "soooooo, when are you due?"
I told him December 26th, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. Of course it wasn't. "You just doomed that child to a life of misery. Why don't you tell him his birthday is in July or something?" I always respond to this with a laugh and say it's good to teach kids humility, etc, etc... But he kept going, rambling on about self-esteem or something like that. Seriously? Don't you have better things to worry about?! Or hey, maybe you could just stick to doing your job without the commentary?
I guess it's better to have your friends and family react positively, but I could really do without everyone that I have never met before voicing an opinion on my reproductive choices. Thanks.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Cacophony of Noises From Apartment Neighbors
When you live in an apartment building, you are aware of the privacy you surrender. Often you overhear other people's conversations, the low rumbling of their water running, the murmur of their T.V., and the buzzer on their dryer going off. You likewise try to remember that they can hear the same noises coming from your apartment, and inevitably fail until the moment right after you've done or said something you wish could remain private.
Anyway, I understand this and (sort of) accept it.
If I didn't care about the noise, I would leave my windows open all day long, year round and never use the air conditioning because I prefer a natural breeze to re-circulated air. Last night we left the windows open, and it was a perfect 70 degrees in our bedroom. I fell asleep to almost complete quiet. And then...
One of our neighbors started having the loudest and wildest sex I have ever heard. I can usually sleep through anything, but this jolted me awake. I mean, at first it sounded like I was watching that scene from When Harry Met Sally at full volume in my bedroom. Except it went on for like 25 minutes and at times was so cheesy it made me laugh in my sleepy stupor. This was at 12:30am on a Monday night. AND AGAIN at 9:15am. I'm not mad ... it's hard to be mad when someone out there is having that great of sex, whatever time it happens to be at. It's more like I'm incredulous as to WHO is having this sex. I mean, maybe I'm just a big prude, but this sounded like unbelievable sex for so late on a MONDAY, and then who is still home at 9:15 in the morning on a Tuesday for round 2? I don't think any college students live in our building, or else I could easily dismiss that one.
The weirdest part about all of this is that these are not the noises I had already become accustomed to and annoyed at in this apartment.
There are several people near us with small children, and I think some of them are at home with a nanny during the day. A nanny who, apparently, lets them scream at the top of their lungs for hours on end without calming them down. And then there are the kids who wake up singing/shouting the ABCs at 7:00am on Saturday mornings.
There are also a TON of young professionals living here, and no one gets cell phone reception in their apartment. Thus, lots of telephone calls take place on balconies in the courtyard, which our apartment faces. I hear a lot of Drs./residents(?) and lawyers talking about work to (presumably) colleagues.
So, our apartment building is some weird mixture of sexual exhibitionists, screaming children and young professionals. I wish these people would keep their windows shut, but you can't really demand that. If I feel particularly vengeful, I can leave our windows open after Uno is born, but that would probably just bring on a wrath that I can't even imagine. So I guess air-conditioning it is.
Anyway, I understand this and (sort of) accept it.
If I didn't care about the noise, I would leave my windows open all day long, year round and never use the air conditioning because I prefer a natural breeze to re-circulated air. Last night we left the windows open, and it was a perfect 70 degrees in our bedroom. I fell asleep to almost complete quiet. And then...
One of our neighbors started having the loudest and wildest sex I have ever heard. I can usually sleep through anything, but this jolted me awake. I mean, at first it sounded like I was watching that scene from When Harry Met Sally at full volume in my bedroom. Except it went on for like 25 minutes and at times was so cheesy it made me laugh in my sleepy stupor. This was at 12:30am on a Monday night. AND AGAIN at 9:15am. I'm not mad ... it's hard to be mad when someone out there is having that great of sex, whatever time it happens to be at. It's more like I'm incredulous as to WHO is having this sex. I mean, maybe I'm just a big prude, but this sounded like unbelievable sex for so late on a MONDAY, and then who is still home at 9:15 in the morning on a Tuesday for round 2? I don't think any college students live in our building, or else I could easily dismiss that one.
The weirdest part about all of this is that these are not the noises I had already become accustomed to and annoyed at in this apartment.
There are several people near us with small children, and I think some of them are at home with a nanny during the day. A nanny who, apparently, lets them scream at the top of their lungs for hours on end without calming them down. And then there are the kids who wake up singing/shouting the ABCs at 7:00am on Saturday mornings.
There are also a TON of young professionals living here, and no one gets cell phone reception in their apartment. Thus, lots of telephone calls take place on balconies in the courtyard, which our apartment faces. I hear a lot of Drs./residents(?) and lawyers talking about work to (presumably) colleagues.
So, our apartment building is some weird mixture of sexual exhibitionists, screaming children and young professionals. I wish these people would keep their windows shut, but you can't really demand that. If I feel particularly vengeful, I can leave our windows open after Uno is born, but that would probably just bring on a wrath that I can't even imagine. So I guess air-conditioning it is.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Lookin Good ... Feelin Good!
Today has been great so far! The day started with an appointment with my doctor, who I love.
I finagled my way into a room with an ultrasound machine (with the help of my nurse/accomplice) and told the doctor how my last appointment made me so nervous about having a huge baby, so she gave me what I wanted. She measured Uno's head, belly and femur and they all registered right around 30 weeks, so that was a relief! She doesn't bother with the measuring tape, which I kind of like because how accurate can that really be? AND seriously, when is it ever going to be fun to have your belly measured?! Also, we saw his boy parts really clearly again, so I don't have to worry about painting the nursery blue!
I also finally confirmed that I passed the glucose test (I just assume no news is good news with this office). Blood pressure and everything were great. Apparently Uno and I had a growth spurt too, because I've gained 17 pounds! I'm a little nervous at how much more weight I can gain in 10 weeks, but mostly because I don't know where it's all going to go! My lungs get punched and kicked non-stop and my belly is huge.
I asked her about the trip to NY as well. She repeated that she didn't like the idea, but she said she wouldn't tell me to NOT go, just that she won't encourage it. Her reasoning seems to be that women in the 3rd trimester should limit air travel to necessary trips (like weddings and funerals I guess), and that it seems like whenever women travel late in their pregnancy, something goes wrong.
This pretty much made up my mind ... I'm GOING! With no absolute ban, I'll take advantage of the opportunity. Plus, if I walk around and drink water, I think I'll be fine.
I think it might have been a sign because flights were magically priced lower today all of the sudden. I've been checking about twice a day for the past two weeks. On Wednesday, the fares had inexplicably jumped $80, but this morning it was down to the original low prices... (in case you're wondering, $298 for non-stop from LAX). Once I bought my tickets, I called customer service, and they put me in a bulkhead, aisle seat! Amazing.
Since I'm a pregnant woman, I will no doubt be paranoid about my health while I travel, but I made sure that my insurance covers me in New York and I bought the travel insurance (which covers unexpected complications with a pregnancy)... so I feel good about it. And besides, I'm going to a major metropolis with good hospitals and lots of friends and family if anything does go wrong.
So now I will be going to the doctor every 2 weeks, which is kind of exciting because I really like going. They also told me when I was scheduling appointments that I get an ultrasound at 36 weeks as well! I guess that's the last one if all goes well.
Oh, and we decided to deliver at St. Johns. I think it will be good, but mostly I'm just glad to have turned that all in and be done with it. It's funny because I had one of those 0h-my-god-I've-been-living-in-los-angeles-way-too-long moments when I realized $12 for valet parking at the hospital seems like a negative to most people, but it sounds like a great deal to me! You know those stereotypes where the snobby, obnoxious LA girl says she only goes places that have valet? Apparently I'm one of them.
My doctor today gave me a few recommendations for pediatricians, so I'll start calling them soon. And PJO and I will work on finding a class or two to take. I know we at least want to take an infant safety/CPR class, but I'm not sure about a childbirth class or breastfeeding class. I think the former might just scare me and the latter might be unnecessary until after Uno is born. We'll see.
So today was good because my hope for a normally-sized baby was renewed today and I got tickets to NY!
I finagled my way into a room with an ultrasound machine (with the help of my nurse/accomplice) and told the doctor how my last appointment made me so nervous about having a huge baby, so she gave me what I wanted. She measured Uno's head, belly and femur and they all registered right around 30 weeks, so that was a relief! She doesn't bother with the measuring tape, which I kind of like because how accurate can that really be? AND seriously, when is it ever going to be fun to have your belly measured?! Also, we saw his boy parts really clearly again, so I don't have to worry about painting the nursery blue!
I also finally confirmed that I passed the glucose test (I just assume no news is good news with this office). Blood pressure and everything were great. Apparently Uno and I had a growth spurt too, because I've gained 17 pounds! I'm a little nervous at how much more weight I can gain in 10 weeks, but mostly because I don't know where it's all going to go! My lungs get punched and kicked non-stop and my belly is huge.
I asked her about the trip to NY as well. She repeated that she didn't like the idea, but she said she wouldn't tell me to NOT go, just that she won't encourage it. Her reasoning seems to be that women in the 3rd trimester should limit air travel to necessary trips (like weddings and funerals I guess), and that it seems like whenever women travel late in their pregnancy, something goes wrong.
This pretty much made up my mind ... I'm GOING! With no absolute ban, I'll take advantage of the opportunity. Plus, if I walk around and drink water, I think I'll be fine.
I think it might have been a sign because flights were magically priced lower today all of the sudden. I've been checking about twice a day for the past two weeks. On Wednesday, the fares had inexplicably jumped $80, but this morning it was down to the original low prices... (in case you're wondering, $298 for non-stop from LAX). Once I bought my tickets, I called customer service, and they put me in a bulkhead, aisle seat! Amazing.
Since I'm a pregnant woman, I will no doubt be paranoid about my health while I travel, but I made sure that my insurance covers me in New York and I bought the travel insurance (which covers unexpected complications with a pregnancy)... so I feel good about it. And besides, I'm going to a major metropolis with good hospitals and lots of friends and family if anything does go wrong.
So now I will be going to the doctor every 2 weeks, which is kind of exciting because I really like going. They also told me when I was scheduling appointments that I get an ultrasound at 36 weeks as well! I guess that's the last one if all goes well.
Oh, and we decided to deliver at St. Johns. I think it will be good, but mostly I'm just glad to have turned that all in and be done with it. It's funny because I had one of those 0h-my-god-I've-been-living-in-los-angeles-way-too-long moments when I realized $12 for valet parking at the hospital seems like a negative to most people, but it sounds like a great deal to me! You know those stereotypes where the snobby, obnoxious LA girl says she only goes places that have valet? Apparently I'm one of them.
My doctor today gave me a few recommendations for pediatricians, so I'll start calling them soon. And PJO and I will work on finding a class or two to take. I know we at least want to take an infant safety/CPR class, but I'm not sure about a childbirth class or breastfeeding class. I think the former might just scare me and the latter might be unnecessary until after Uno is born. We'll see.
So today was good because my hope for a normally-sized baby was renewed today and I got tickets to NY!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Superfluous Decision
I guess it's better to have choices rather than be tied to one option whether you like it or not, but usually it just makes things harder. We toured the second hospital last night, and I still have no idea where to go. Mostly because they're exactly the same!
We ruled out Cedars-Sinai (you know, the celebrity hospital) because it's far away (12 miles) and the other two options seem just as good.
Choice #1 - UCLA Santa Monica - Within a mile of our apartment, brand new, all private rooms, NICU on premises, lactation consultants available every day.
Choice #2 - St. John's - Probably 5 blocks further away from our apartment than UCLA, brand new, all private rooms (maybe 20 sq. ft. bigger), NICU on premises, lactation consultants available every day.
Ya, so basically the same. I was trying to figure out the differences that might be relevant to us:
* UCLA has a better reputation...or at least I thought so. But as between this particular hospital and St. John's for labor and delivery, I think they're either the same or St. John's might be better. (From what I have heard, UCLA has more of an institutional feel and is busier while St. John's is more quiet and home-y)
* My doctor works out of St. John's, so she has been pushing that one from the beginning. If I really preferred UCLA, I wouldn't care... but if they're the same to me, maybe it makes sense to pick the one my doctor prefers? Maybe there will be a slightly better chance she'll visit earlier or more often if I'm there?
* While both hospitals have nurseries, it seems that UCLA advocates new moms to use it more if they want to get sleep, while St. John's seems to have it there more for show (and if I want to sleep without the baby in the room for one last night, then I don't want to feel guilted into having the baby with me).
* St. John's says you are entitled to visit whenever you want after the birth for consultations with lactation consultants for free.
* The administrative / scheduling offices seem more organized at UCLA, which I love of course.
* Parking - at UCLA, there is a $5 per day option at a nearby garage. St. John's - $12 valet parking... hmm, or we could WALK!!!
So ya, they're the same. I'm thinking St. John's, but if anyone has any insight on this that I'm missing, let me know!
Oooooh, and then time to pick a pediatrician. At least then, you're picking a person rather than an just an institution, so there are real, tangible differences to base a decision on.
We ruled out Cedars-Sinai (you know, the celebrity hospital) because it's far away (12 miles) and the other two options seem just as good.
Choice #1 - UCLA Santa Monica - Within a mile of our apartment, brand new, all private rooms, NICU on premises, lactation consultants available every day.
Choice #2 - St. John's - Probably 5 blocks further away from our apartment than UCLA, brand new, all private rooms (maybe 20 sq. ft. bigger), NICU on premises, lactation consultants available every day.
Ya, so basically the same. I was trying to figure out the differences that might be relevant to us:
* UCLA has a better reputation...or at least I thought so. But as between this particular hospital and St. John's for labor and delivery, I think they're either the same or St. John's might be better. (From what I have heard, UCLA has more of an institutional feel and is busier while St. John's is more quiet and home-y)
* My doctor works out of St. John's, so she has been pushing that one from the beginning. If I really preferred UCLA, I wouldn't care... but if they're the same to me, maybe it makes sense to pick the one my doctor prefers? Maybe there will be a slightly better chance she'll visit earlier or more often if I'm there?
* While both hospitals have nurseries, it seems that UCLA advocates new moms to use it more if they want to get sleep, while St. John's seems to have it there more for show (and if I want to sleep without the baby in the room for one last night, then I don't want to feel guilted into having the baby with me).
* St. John's says you are entitled to visit whenever you want after the birth for consultations with lactation consultants for free.
* The administrative / scheduling offices seem more organized at UCLA, which I love of course.
* Parking - at UCLA, there is a $5 per day option at a nearby garage. St. John's - $12 valet parking... hmm, or we could WALK!!!
So ya, they're the same. I'm thinking St. John's, but if anyone has any insight on this that I'm missing, let me know!
Oooooh, and then time to pick a pediatrician. At least then, you're picking a person rather than an just an institution, so there are real, tangible differences to base a decision on.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Leaving my carefree 20s behind
This is my 29th week of pregnancy... Friday I'll pass the milestone of 30 weeks (I just made it a milestone to keep myself motivated...)
**Disclaimer - general pregnancy grossness to follow**
I'm finally starting to feel the stress of being pregnant (read: annoying symptoms that won't stop). For the first time in my life, I have heartburn. At least I think it's heartburn. I can't seem to pin it on eating anything in particular, I think my body just hates me right now. Good thing I love Tums anyway, and can justify eating them for calcium too!
I have to pee more often.
Last week, I had my first encounter with leaky boobs and was thoroughly disgusted. I guess now I understand why maternity stores sell sleep bras.
Lets see, what else? Sleeping is more and more uncomfortable every night. I hate sleeping on my side and having to launch myself to get out of bed. I seem to be less able to regulate my body temperature. My nose and mouth get super dry overnight.
This f&*%ing belly is really starting to cramp my style: bending over has finally gotten uncomfortable (i.e. I can't do it without looking obese and uncoordinated), the last of my non-maternity tops are rapidly starting to show skin underneath, and there is just no good position to read casebooks in anymore.
I think the worst development is the realization that it can only get worse for 2 and a half more months! Ugh, is it really that long until Uno gets here?
In other baby-related news, this Wednesday we visit the second hospital and will decide on where to deliver. The following Wednesday, the crib and dresser should be delivered, so we will have an actual nursery. (I've gone to planning heaven...) I have an appointment next Saturday with my regular OB and I am really really really hoping for an ultrasound or something to tell me that I'm not going to have a huuuuuuuuuge baby (and I want at least one more peek at his cute little face!)
I also have a bone to pick with her. After you all commented on my possible New York trip (thanks for the advice!), I heard from her. At first, the nurse just stated the general rule that air travel until 36 weeks is totally fine. When I said I just wanted to make sure since it's a 6 hour flight each way, she put me on hold. When she came back, she said "the doctor recommends you don't go." Something about being more likely to catch germs and get sick because of the time on the airplane. While that may be a valid point, it's not a good enough reason for me to not go in my opinion. I mean, I go to law school, which might as well be a petri dish of germs.
But, alas, I'm not so impetuous to actually do something that my doctor has said specifically not to do. So I'm going to ask again on Saturday, and plead and cry for her to give me her blessing to travel!
So, gone are the days where I blissfully lived my life ignoring the fact that I was pregnant (except for my daily internal debate about whether to have that glass of wine). The 30s are ushering in concerns about heartburn, leaky boobs, sleepless nights and people telling me not to do what I want to do.
**Disclaimer - general pregnancy grossness to follow**
I'm finally starting to feel the stress of being pregnant (read: annoying symptoms that won't stop). For the first time in my life, I have heartburn. At least I think it's heartburn. I can't seem to pin it on eating anything in particular, I think my body just hates me right now. Good thing I love Tums anyway, and can justify eating them for calcium too!
I have to pee more often.
Last week, I had my first encounter with leaky boobs and was thoroughly disgusted. I guess now I understand why maternity stores sell sleep bras.
Lets see, what else? Sleeping is more and more uncomfortable every night. I hate sleeping on my side and having to launch myself to get out of bed. I seem to be less able to regulate my body temperature. My nose and mouth get super dry overnight.
This f&*%ing belly is really starting to cramp my style: bending over has finally gotten uncomfortable (i.e. I can't do it without looking obese and uncoordinated), the last of my non-maternity tops are rapidly starting to show skin underneath, and there is just no good position to read casebooks in anymore.
I think the worst development is the realization that it can only get worse for 2 and a half more months! Ugh, is it really that long until Uno gets here?
In other baby-related news, this Wednesday we visit the second hospital and will decide on where to deliver. The following Wednesday, the crib and dresser should be delivered, so we will have an actual nursery. (I've gone to planning heaven...) I have an appointment next Saturday with my regular OB and I am really really really hoping for an ultrasound or something to tell me that I'm not going to have a huuuuuuuuuge baby (and I want at least one more peek at his cute little face!)
I also have a bone to pick with her. After you all commented on my possible New York trip (thanks for the advice!), I heard from her. At first, the nurse just stated the general rule that air travel until 36 weeks is totally fine. When I said I just wanted to make sure since it's a 6 hour flight each way, she put me on hold. When she came back, she said "the doctor recommends you don't go." Something about being more likely to catch germs and get sick because of the time on the airplane. While that may be a valid point, it's not a good enough reason for me to not go in my opinion. I mean, I go to law school, which might as well be a petri dish of germs.
But, alas, I'm not so impetuous to actually do something that my doctor has said specifically not to do. So I'm going to ask again on Saturday, and plead and cry for her to give me her blessing to travel!
So, gone are the days where I blissfully lived my life ignoring the fact that I was pregnant (except for my daily internal debate about whether to have that glass of wine). The 30s are ushering in concerns about heartburn, leaky boobs, sleepless nights and people telling me not to do what I want to do.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
One Last Rendezvous?
I considered our trip to Hawaii in August a "babymoon." Our last hurrah. Then, our friends decided to get married November 1st (i.e. in a few weeks) in Santa Fe, New Mexico so that was going to be our last getaway. Now there is a chance we could squeeze one more trip in there before Uno makes his grand entrance...
PJO just booked another business trip to London and New York. He is leaving on a Saturday night to head to London, then going to New York that Tuesday night. I would fly out on Wednesday, and spend a few days with him in the city at the paid-for hotel, then see his family in NJ before flying back to California on Sunday. I could meet friends for lunch, go out with him at night and relax in a city I love visiting! The best part is that, with the market tanking and oil prices dropping, flights are getting really cheap. Plus, mid-November can be a really beautiful time of the year to visit NYC.
The catch is that I would be flying back to CA a day or two into my 34th week of pregnancy. I'm definitely not objective/rational enough to decide for myself whether this would be a good idea to travel 6 hours on a plane 6 weeks before my due date, so I posed the question to my doctor and now I'm asking the internets. (I'm still waiting to hear from the doctor...)
So far, I have had a completely uneventful pregnancy.
(excuse me while I go knock on wood...)
But really, no problems and barely any uncomfortableness. My 11 hour flight from NY to HI was completely fine at 4.5 months (although granted this belly is a new addition since that flight). I'm sure everything will be fine if I go, but that nagging voice in my head is saying "what iiiiiiiif?!?!"
The airline's official policy is that pregnant women can fly at any time, although they need a doctor's note if it's within 7 days of their due date. omg, really?!
I do want to check my health insurance before booking tickets to make sure I would be covered if I am 3,000 miles away should anything happen.
So assuming I get the doctor's approval and health insurance covers me there, should I go? Or should I chalk this up to my first of many sacrifices made because of my child(ren)?
And is there any way I can get a doctor's note to get out of finals?! I'm pretty sure that law-school-finals-stress 2 weeks before my due date is much worse than traveling 6 weeks before!
PJO just booked another business trip to London and New York. He is leaving on a Saturday night to head to London, then going to New York that Tuesday night. I would fly out on Wednesday, and spend a few days with him in the city at the paid-for hotel, then see his family in NJ before flying back to California on Sunday. I could meet friends for lunch, go out with him at night and relax in a city I love visiting! The best part is that, with the market tanking and oil prices dropping, flights are getting really cheap. Plus, mid-November can be a really beautiful time of the year to visit NYC.
The catch is that I would be flying back to CA a day or two into my 34th week of pregnancy. I'm definitely not objective/rational enough to decide for myself whether this would be a good idea to travel 6 hours on a plane 6 weeks before my due date, so I posed the question to my doctor and now I'm asking the internets. (I'm still waiting to hear from the doctor...)
So far, I have had a completely uneventful pregnancy.
(excuse me while I go knock on wood...)
But really, no problems and barely any uncomfortableness. My 11 hour flight from NY to HI was completely fine at 4.5 months (although granted this belly is a new addition since that flight). I'm sure everything will be fine if I go, but that nagging voice in my head is saying "what iiiiiiiif?!?!"
The airline's official policy is that pregnant women can fly at any time, although they need a doctor's note if it's within 7 days of their due date. omg, really?!
I do want to check my health insurance before booking tickets to make sure I would be covered if I am 3,000 miles away should anything happen.
So assuming I get the doctor's approval and health insurance covers me there, should I go? Or should I chalk this up to my first of many sacrifices made because of my child(ren)?
And is there any way I can get a doctor's note to get out of finals?! I'm pretty sure that law-school-finals-stress 2 weeks before my due date is much worse than traveling 6 weeks before!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
"I'm not like other moms, I'm a cool mom!" *
I'm going to be a young mom when Uno is born and I still feel like a college kid sometimes. I'm certainly not ready for the suburban-living, mini-van-driving, letting-herself-go version of the moms I knew growing up.
I sure as hell won't be buying any mom jeans:
But I am not obsessed with holding on to my child-free early twenties either. There is something to say for looking chic and put together while toting around a baby, and if I can choose looking fashionable over looking frumpy without sacrificing comfort, convenience or my savings, then I choose looking fashionable! Of course, "sacrificing my savings" is relative, depending on how much I need (item of the moment).
I had no idea what to really look for in a diaper bag, but I figured it should be waterproof/washable, roomy on the inside, and have a few compartments for various things and bottles. I LOVE big bags so I thought it would be fun to shop for. but really, a lot of them are U-G-L-Y.
Anyway, I was pretty excited to find this today.
Stella McCartney's spring 2008 line for LeSportSac is 75% off, so this otherwise ridiculously overpriced bag becomes somewhat more reasonable. I'm sure I could have found something a little more practical, but when you combine my usual impulsiveness with pregnancy hormones (the scapegoat for pretty much everything I do these days), this bag became a necessity.
* Name that movie!
I sure as hell won't be buying any mom jeans:
But I am not obsessed with holding on to my child-free early twenties either. There is something to say for looking chic and put together while toting around a baby, and if I can choose looking fashionable over looking frumpy without sacrificing comfort, convenience or my savings, then I choose looking fashionable! Of course, "sacrificing my savings" is relative, depending on how much I need (item of the moment).
I had no idea what to really look for in a diaper bag, but I figured it should be waterproof/washable, roomy on the inside, and have a few compartments for various things and bottles. I LOVE big bags so I thought it would be fun to shop for. but really, a lot of them are U-G-L-Y.
Anyway, I was pretty excited to find this today.
Stella McCartney's spring 2008 line for LeSportSac is 75% off, so this otherwise ridiculously overpriced bag becomes somewhat more reasonable. I'm sure I could have found something a little more practical, but when you combine my usual impulsiveness with pregnancy hormones (the scapegoat for pretty much everything I do these days), this bag became a necessity.
* Name that movie!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
My Friend-Making Style
I don't know about you all, but I have a definite style when it comes to making and keeping friends... I find it very easy to talk to people and "make friends" but I don't often make new good friends. I also find it hard to maintain friendships, maybe because my friends are scattered all across the country or maybe because I'm lazy.
The people I am good friends with are very good friends, people that I could talk to about anything and that I see all the time (or pick up right where we left off when I see them). It used to be that my other friends were facebook friends (not literally, but that kind of person, where you call each other friends, but wouldn't really pick up the phone and make plans with them on your own initiative). Part of the problem is that I am very picky about the people I will actually be close to, and I have a low tolerance for being "friends" with someone that I could never be good friends with. I am really independent in the sense that I would prefer to be by myself than with other people unless I truly enjoy hanging out with them. It was all or nothing when I met new people. There is a fine line between idiosyncratic and annoying to me, and I can handle the former but not the latter. This is how I ended up with friendships that were more like relationships with boyfriends... one person who I hung out with or talked to most of the time almost to the exclusion of anyone else.
Especially when I'm busy with stuff in my life (school or work) and I'm already fitting in family time, husband time and me time (and let's be honest, procrastinating/lazy time), it's easy to push friend time to the back burner. If I had to choose between going out with friends and sleeping, I would usually choose sleeping. I loved going out in college, but these days it seems more like a hassle sometimes than it's worth.
Since I moved to California, I've made an effort to make more friends and maintain those relationships. I'm not perfect now, but it's definitely more of a priority for me. I think having a wider group of friends keeps me more balanced and less dependent on one or two people. Keeping in touch with a variety of people helps my life feel more fulfilled. It's also nice to know that when something exciting happens or when I need to cry or complain to someone, I have more people to choose from than my mom or PJO to call.
Thursday night, I went to dinner with a group of girls that I summered with who go to law school locally. We're not super close by any means, but we got to know each other pretty well this summer, and we all have a lot in common. It was so great to get away from the normal gossip and personalities at my school, and chat with funny, smart and aware women. We watched the VP debate and had good political conversation, talked about working and about our personal lives and people we knew in common. Sometimes I feel like scheduling in time to catch up with certain friends is just something to get off of my to-do list, but I looked forward to this night for several weeks and enjoyed every minute of my time with them.
Friday I got lunch with my freshman year roommate from college and my maid of honor... We have fun together no matter what we're doing and we have plenty to talk about no matter how long it's been since we have seen each other. She's one of those people that knows me about as well as I know myself and can tell exactly what I'm thinking or feeling without asking me. It was one of the best lunch dates I've had in a long time.
I have my group of law school friends. My college friends. A few people I keep in touch with from childhood and high school. It's not that I prefer quantity over quality (far from it), but I have realized that I'm not as independent as I used to think I was. Even though I could live my life without needing a lot of friends, I don't want to live my life without them. I am happier and more well-rounded when I somehow squeeze in date nights, couples nights, girls nights and me nights.
I'm not exactly sure how this will all change when Uno comes along in a few months. Most of our friends don't have kids yet and I don't really want to start the PTA / Mommy-and-Me stage of my life yet... so we'll see how it all plays out. But for now I feel like I'm growing into the person I am meant to be and making the most of MY life instead of wanting to change parts of my life to make it what I wish it would be.
... if that makes any sense.
The people I am good friends with are very good friends, people that I could talk to about anything and that I see all the time (or pick up right where we left off when I see them). It used to be that my other friends were facebook friends (not literally, but that kind of person, where you call each other friends, but wouldn't really pick up the phone and make plans with them on your own initiative). Part of the problem is that I am very picky about the people I will actually be close to, and I have a low tolerance for being "friends" with someone that I could never be good friends with. I am really independent in the sense that I would prefer to be by myself than with other people unless I truly enjoy hanging out with them. It was all or nothing when I met new people. There is a fine line between idiosyncratic and annoying to me, and I can handle the former but not the latter. This is how I ended up with friendships that were more like relationships with boyfriends... one person who I hung out with or talked to most of the time almost to the exclusion of anyone else.
Especially when I'm busy with stuff in my life (school or work) and I'm already fitting in family time, husband time and me time (and let's be honest, procrastinating/lazy time), it's easy to push friend time to the back burner. If I had to choose between going out with friends and sleeping, I would usually choose sleeping. I loved going out in college, but these days it seems more like a hassle sometimes than it's worth.
Since I moved to California, I've made an effort to make more friends and maintain those relationships. I'm not perfect now, but it's definitely more of a priority for me. I think having a wider group of friends keeps me more balanced and less dependent on one or two people. Keeping in touch with a variety of people helps my life feel more fulfilled. It's also nice to know that when something exciting happens or when I need to cry or complain to someone, I have more people to choose from than my mom or PJO to call.
Thursday night, I went to dinner with a group of girls that I summered with who go to law school locally. We're not super close by any means, but we got to know each other pretty well this summer, and we all have a lot in common. It was so great to get away from the normal gossip and personalities at my school, and chat with funny, smart and aware women. We watched the VP debate and had good political conversation, talked about working and about our personal lives and people we knew in common. Sometimes I feel like scheduling in time to catch up with certain friends is just something to get off of my to-do list, but I looked forward to this night for several weeks and enjoyed every minute of my time with them.
Friday I got lunch with my freshman year roommate from college and my maid of honor... We have fun together no matter what we're doing and we have plenty to talk about no matter how long it's been since we have seen each other. She's one of those people that knows me about as well as I know myself and can tell exactly what I'm thinking or feeling without asking me. It was one of the best lunch dates I've had in a long time.
I have my group of law school friends. My college friends. A few people I keep in touch with from childhood and high school. It's not that I prefer quantity over quality (far from it), but I have realized that I'm not as independent as I used to think I was. Even though I could live my life without needing a lot of friends, I don't want to live my life without them. I am happier and more well-rounded when I somehow squeeze in date nights, couples nights, girls nights and me nights.
I'm not exactly sure how this will all change when Uno comes along in a few months. Most of our friends don't have kids yet and I don't really want to start the PTA / Mommy-and-Me stage of my life yet... so we'll see how it all plays out. But for now I feel like I'm growing into the person I am meant to be and making the most of MY life instead of wanting to change parts of my life to make it what I wish it would be.
... if that makes any sense.
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