Checking In From Bliss

Bar Exam - Done!

I wanted to write more, but we're moving tomorrow and I'm losing my internet in a few hours.
Thanks for all the messages and encouragement. I can't remember feeling so happy and free as I do now.

Last Dance With Bar/Bri Books

Ok, not really the books. Well, maybe I'll outline an essay. But only ONE MORE DAY of this test!

I honestly can't believe this is almost over. It's so true what they say; the two months leading up the bar are much worse than the actual days of the test itself. Time goes by too quickly to stress out about the test on exam days.

Much to my surprise, I have actually kind of enjoyed the past two days. I am seeing so many friends all in one place here, many of whom I haven't seen since I worked with them last summer. I thought that I would want to avoid people I knew and talking about the test* at all costs to mitigate any stress or anxiety. But having friends around makes the Bar seem much less scary and intimidating. It's just like taking a final exam in law school. My law school provides lunch on the lawn by the pool every day at the break, so I sit there with friends chatting about non-bar stuff in the sunshine for 35 minutes and feel refreshed for the afternoon session.

When I am not taking the test, I give myself free reign to sit back and really relax, with no guilt over not studying. Of course, being in a hotel room with no baby and no cleaning to do helps a lot.

I really miss Timmy and can't believe it's been two whole days since I've seen him.

Unfortunately, it's hard to really eliminate subjects I need to study tonight. On day 1, we had a weird cross-over that touched on such ticky-tack things that I can't rule out another essay on either subject, then we had a Professional Responsibility question and a California evidence question. Soo, I'll be skimming all my outlines tonight.

Hopefully I'm in bed by 10 tonight to take advantage of my last night to sleep 8 hours for the foreseeable future.


*In law school, I was adamantly opposed to discussing the test afterward. I never did it. But for some reason, I have a raging desire to discuss every question. Especially these MBEs. I have no idea how I did on them. Part of me thought it seemed fair and very similar to Bar Bri questions, but I didn't feel very confident that I picked the right answer very often. I think I made good guesses, so we'll see what happens when the results come out.

33% done

I've got day one in my pocket. It could have gone much worse.

Our giant room was absolutely frigid. Even though I was wearing sweat pants, socks and shoes and a hoodie, my hands and feet were icicles at the end of each session. Our proctor was also unintelligible and we started far behind schedule. Other than that, it went as smoothly as could be expected.

I was randomly assigned to sit near a bunch of friends, which made the whole process much less of a big scary thing. The three essays in the morning weren't too bad, and the performance test this afternoon was the best one I've done yet (I practiced 3 before today). Sure I could have used more time on both parts. And sure, there were some rules that I didn't really remember. But I think I did well enough to pass.

After the second session, I walked to dinner with some friends, then went to the jacuzzi at our hotel. Now I'm going to go over the MBE stuff for an hour and head to bead.

I think multiple choice and a lack of computer is going to make tomorrow seem easier. And PJO is meeting me early tomorrow AM to bring my uggs and Northface fleece, so that should make the room temperature more bearable.

Day 3 ... well, I'm sure it will be hard, but at least I'll be warmed up and used to this whole process by then. And hey, it's the last day so who gives a shit?

But I'm getting ahead of myself. 6 hours of multiple choice tomorrow. Woo.

Minimal Competence

That's all I'm shooting for. I have a good feeling about this.

I'm in the hotel room, and I'm more preoccupied about being away from Timmy than nervous about the fact that I am taking the Bar tomorrow. THE Bar. The one I've been talking about all summer. I really can't believe it. I expected to feel much more aware of what was going on right now, but I sort of just feel like I'm on vacation. The place is FULL of bar takers...the test is being given in the main room just below the lobby, so I just have to take an elevator down 9 floors and avoid listening to anyone on the way.


Today as I ran some last minute errands, I saw this billboard, and it was just perfect.


All through Bar Bri, we've heard "Be a sheep. Don't try to stick out or be different. Follow the other sheep grazing through the meadow right into the corral. That's how you pass."

If I need to be a minimally competent sheep for the next three days, that's what I'll do!

Good luck to all my fellow Bar Exam Takers! See you on Thursday night!

Our Summer Reading Material

Timmy gets to read funny books:


I do not:

7 Months Old!

Timmy,
You won't remember your Mama studying for the Bar exam, but this post might be a good hint that she did. The test is in 4 days, so I don't really have time to tell you about all the cute things you do right now and the ways you've changed. Here's the highlight list:

You are pretty excited about the little mohawk you're growing:





You decided one day that you were going to roll--both ways--and now you do it regularly. You first learned how to roll three months ago, but rarely did it over the next three months. You also can move from a sitting position to your belly, but haven't quite figured out how to get back to sitting.

You now feed yourself during the day, and your favorite foods are peas, sweet potatoes, avocado, zucchini, blueberries, prunes (ugh, I don't know how you eat these), apricots, and cereal. By some strange miracle, you decided you would take a bottle again at night if we let you hold it. So now I'm officially not worried about you starvingdropping onto the growth chart when I'm away for three days next week during the Bar.

You are ticklish under your armpits and on the bottom of your feet. You have a really cute giggle. You don't say any identifiable word yet, but sometimes it really sounds like you're saying "hey" and "hi."

You got your first cold. :( Daddy was sick, and by the next day, you and I were both sick. When Grandma came to rescue us and let me study, she got sick too. It was easily the hardest two weeks since you were born. No one slept for a few days, everyone felt like crap and I was supposed to be studying all day, every day. After 3 doctors visits, 3 different prescriptions, a humidifier and too many over-the-counter medications to count, I think we're back on the road to recovery.

You are so much fun these days, and I'll be very glad when we can enjoy a lot of family time in a week!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Doctors Visits Are Cramping My Style

I went back to the doctor today because the medicine just wasn't working. It's been a week and I feel only marginally better now.

Augmentin, Claritin D and Benadryl, plus neti pot and proventil inhaler couldn't quash whatever ridiculous, mutant form of a sinus infection I seem to have contracted.

Now I'm switching to Medrol and Z-pack. I'm drinking my ginger root tea. I'm doing literally everything I can think of to get rid of this.

Right now, I am able to function, and I'm pretty motivated to study. But my body is just falling apart and I'm so tired. Tired isn't the right word. I'm completely lethargic. If I can just make it through the next week without my body completely giving out, then I'll be fine. I'm also hoping I can make it longer than 20 minutes at a time without blowing my nose--do they even let you bring tissues in to the test? Will they make me wear a SARS mask? oh God.


PJO has joked that I'll be the only person who feels more rested right after the Bar, because I'll be sleeping at a hotel without a baby and cats waking me up. Maybe the first consecutive 8-hour stretch of sleep I'll have had in 7 months. I can't wait for all of that glorious, uninterrupted sleep. It's what's driving me right now!

Uncertain Countdown

Every time I log into Facebook, I see countdowns...until the Bar, until the Bar is done... and it just can't sink in to my brain right now. I have six more days left to study. I'm totally not ready, but I'm not sure I would ever feel ready because there is just way too much to learn.

For example, I reviewed Civil Procedure today. I pretty much get the Federal Rules, although I haven't memorized most of the details for this test, but once I start looking at the California rules, everything on the page just blurs and I can't sort any of it out in my head. I think I've reached my saturation point and unless I make more room in my brain by next Tuesday, I'm just going to have to pray that Civ Pro isn't tested.

I don't know what I should be counting down to. Part of me is very glad I won't have to study anymore a week from Thursday night. But when I'm done with the Bar, I want to feel a huge relief and weight off my shoulders. I don't think I'll get that feeling if the essays cover subjects I don't know. Then I'll be dreading November 20, 2009 when we get the results. But I also don't want to study forever for this exam. And I realize that the nature of the Bar exam is that you can't know everything, you just need to pass.

For me, the most important thing will be letting myself be as relaxed and composed as possible. If I'm calm, I can sit back, issue spot, and write whatever will come to my mind, which will be a lot more than I realize right now. And in 6 days when I'm sitting in that big room full of people, I'll tell myself that. But right now, I feel like I need to acknowledge the fact that I have ONLY 6 more days to learn everything I can because I really want to walk out of there feeling like I passed and then not worry about it again for a few months.

So, for those of you studying and those who have taken the Bar, what suggestions do you have for the final few days, in terms of methods of reviewing and keeping your sanity?

Good luck to everyone taking it next week!

Rounding Third, Heading Home

Thanks for your comments, we are all doing much better now. Once I got some antibiotics and the ok to take speed Claritin D, I was well on the way to recovery. Now all that's left is some lingering congestion and that really obnoxious smoker's cough.



I briefly entertained the idea of going to the library to spread my virus to all the Bar studiers there as a way to compensate for the two days I essentially took off,

but I don't want those Moral Character people to revoke my "good standing." Instead, I set up a really cozy spot on my bed, surrounded by attack outlines, flashcards, the MBE question book and Practice Essay book. This was especially useful when I had the fever/chills and could study under sheets/blanket and down comforter.




Anyway, Now I'm back to studying, mostly full force. It just blows my mind that I have only 9 days left to study before this thing. I don't feel especially good about this, but I'm not dreading July 28th either. I just hope this is the last time I'm counting down to a big exam, ever!

Excuses are like A$$holes

Everyone's got one, and they all stink. I realize that all I post about lately is complaining, specifically about the crap going on as I try to study for the Bar. I'm going to make an effort to stop whining about it, but first I am venting to all of you people.

By now, you know that my baby started refusing to take a bottle right when law school ended, so the first month of studying, my days were segmented in 3 hour chunks. It was getting better, REALLY getting better. As of last week, he was drinking breastmilk from a sippy cup on his own at every meal during the day, and he was even eating up the solid food we gave him (peas, blueberries and zucchini were decimated).
On Monday, I noticed to my horror that it seemed like my milk supply was drying up. That morning I was only able to get 3 ounces instead of 6 when I pumped. So I began freaking out that my baby who refuses to drink if there is a drop of formula was going to starve (or you know, drop down onto the growth chart). I promptly cut out caffeine, alcohol and reinstituted my morning oatmeal, doubled my water intake and started taking Mother's Milk Tea and Fenugreek capsules, as well as pumping an extra time at night.
This same day, PJO left work early because he was sick. He proceeded to puke all night and slept off a fever. I knew trouble was coming.

Yesterday, Timmy was congested all day, and I was constantly suctioning out his nose. I started to feel sick too.

Fast forward to today. I am completely overwhelmed by the sinus pressure and general shittiness I'm feeling. Timmy is probably worse. Neither of us slept last night. I can't take the medicine I really want to take in order to knock this out, and was reluctant to take even the sudafed at first because of it impacting my newly restored milk supply.

I could handle all of this if I wasn't 12 days out from the Bar Exam, or if I hadn't been planning on really studying these past few days to make up for slacking. But right now, all of my energy is going to making us all healthy. Timmy has his mattress elevated, a humidifier going, baby vick's vapor rub on his chest, a bulb syringe nearby and affectionate hugs (but not tooo close).
I've been using the neti pot constantly, gargling salt water and taking sudafed, drinking Breathe Easy tea, etc...

I really want to just cozy up on the couch with my Crimes flashcards and outline some practice essays or go through MBE questions, but instead I'm wiping snot off my germy baby and myself, eyes and throat burning, head pounding.

I don't let myself think about the possibility of not passing the Bar. But as the countdown of study days gets near single digits, I'm starting to really worry about my lack of preparedness.

The end.

Study Party

For some reason, I like showing where all this studying takes place.

Lately I've been studying in 3-4 hour blocks since Timmy is trying to sabotage my bar prep I need to feed my precious baby. The Library, my friend's apartment and my bed are my stomping grounds. This weekend though, PJO was home and he enjoyed his first three-day weekend since before Timmy was born. It was wonderful. Another benefit besides spending time with him was having the whole apartment to myself when he took Timmy out for walks.

I took advantage of having some fresh new study party territory.




A big comfy place on the couch to go over essays, a big bowl of delicious cherries and sparkling water next to me = perfection.

If I could study like that everyday (well, replacing that with dinner and a glass of wine maybe at night) I don't think studying would be bad at all. As it is, I honestly can't believe I only have 3 weeks left. Maybe it's because I've only been doing a fraction of what the Pace schedule says I should each day, but I haven't felt the extreme amount of hatred towards Conviser that I thought I would.

Last week, I realized another benefit of the iPod...I took it to a manicure and pedicure. While I was pampered and avoiding the awkward discussions that I only partially understand with the manicurist, I was learning about how to write essays for Business Associations and Civ Pro.

I find it hard to judge how well I'm doing and where I should be. They give you sample essay questions and I submit about 5 for grading. The MBE questions are easy to grade, but I still don't know how well I really should be doing on those. I just took the full day exam yesterday and got 63% right. They said to aim for 58%, so does that mean I would have passed? Or do I need 65% to pass? And even if I got 80% right, I wouldn't feel comfortable because they could test anything on test day and if you don't know those questions, you could still fail. Even more so with the essays; we have 6 1-hour essays and two 3-hour performance tests. If you don't know one essay subject that well, you can still pass the Bar. But if you don't know 2? Seems like it would be very hard to pass the test then. Well, I could easily pick six subjects that I don't know enough to write a good essay on right now.
That makes it sound like I'm super worried, which I'm not. I still haven't reviewed much at all, I've just made it through lectures, making some notecards and taking a few practice multiple choice and essays. I actually still have to listen to the lectures for Community Property and Wills and Trusts, so I've got a few more lecture
hours to log. I just am going to review as well as I can and hope that what I know is on the test and whatever I don't know is bullshittable (word?).

And even when it's tough and I have no motivation, there is some comfort in knowing what I have to do each day and being so busy that I can't think about anything else. After the Bar and after we move, I honestly have no idea what I'll do. I mean, I know it will involve a lot of Timmy, swimming, playing in parks, baking, watching movies and reading magazines. But how long before I get bored. Or worse, how long before I get used to it and can no longer imagine being cooped up in an office all day long!

21 study days left...time to go do something productive

Gooooooooood Ideeeeea?!*

Imagine this scenario: you're studying for the Bar exam, entering the final 4 weeks before the 3 worst days of the year. You are substantially behind thanks to A) a baby who won't eat without a boob and doesn't really want to sleep all that much either, as well as B) a lack of motivation. You know that since it's July now, you should really focus on studying and eliminate all distractions from your life as much as possible. Well, maybe after the 4th of July.
What do you do?

How about sign a new lease and move two days after the Bar exam? How about that? The Bar is July 28th through 30th. Our tentative move-in date is August 1st. Last year we moved around the same time and it wasn't exactly easy (I was preggers, it was the morning after I finished my Summer Associate Job and a few days before the MPRE), but I know this will be much harder, if not completely foolish.
We have a lot more stuff (thanks to a fat baby) and we're moving a little further away. Plus, um, I don't really have time to pack.

But it will work out just fine, I'm sure, and I'm super excited about our new place. And hopefully this new place will be the last one we rent!

So if any of you have any tips on making a move easier or somehow fitting it in with Bar studying, let me know!


*This phrase may be totally lost on those of you outside of CA - the BarBri instructor for Performance Tests says this incessantly and it gets old after about 5 minutes. Nonetheless, it becomes a part of every CA lawyer's lexicon even if inadvertently or unwillingly.