It was a good run

Thought all my presents were opened on Christmas, but it looks like I got one last present before 2010...

Aunt Flow came to visit today after a long absence. 21 months was a long time without that annoyance. I didn't miss it at all. It made me think about the first time I missed it when that was a good thing, which naturally made me wonder when I would feel that way again. I'm pretty sure it won't be until well into 2011. Strange.

What a Year

Probably my favorite part of New Year's celebrations is the "year in review." Well, after the champagne. Even though time seems to fly by faster and faster as I get older, when I look back at what happened in the early weeks and months of 2009, it seems as though decades have passed.

Maybe more than any other year, it seems almost impossible that everything was squeezed into 365 days. We started our first year as a family of three, I finished my last semester of law school and graduated, I celebrated my first Mother's day as a Mama, I studied for, sat for and passed the bar exam, I moved to a new apartment and I celebrated my son's first birthday.

It was a great year. I wouldn't exactly say that everything was perfect, but for the first time in a long time, I wasn't just looking forward to something in the future. Having Timmy has made me truly savor every moment in the present and try to appreciate the fleeting moments even when I know there are things to look forward to.

Christmas/Timmy's birthday was with PJO's family in New Jersey. It was sad for me to spend Timmy's first real Christmas not starting our own little family traditions or making it special in the way that I think Christmas and birthdays are special. PJO's family celebrates in their own way, but it is very different from what I'm used to. It was also tough traveling with a sick baby and little sleep (note to self: no more red eye flights!). We are back home and attempting to negotiate walk ways in our apartment amidst all of the toys and holiday paraphernalia that has accumulated in our tiny place.

I am very much looking forward to cleaning up and getting my fresh start on life in 2010. Especially because I get to see this beautiful face every day:




New Year's Eve last year:

Officially Official

Last week I was sworn in to the CA state bar at the Firm. Most of my summer classmates had started working earlier in the week; I was the only "deferred associate" that showed up to participate. My entourage waltzed into the dining room, making a spectacle and crying out for attention. The lone baby in a room full of suit-clad adults; the diaper bag where a briefcase should have been; the sippy cup occupying the hand that should have been holding an iced tea... I just stood out so painfully in that room from everyone else.

Being there and drawing commentary from the Managing Partner and another senior partner in their speeches made it all the more apparent that I am different from my peers. While I may sometimes act like just another young professional, people see me as a mom first. Suddenly, I'm the example in every speech of how to keep my priorities in focus and my work-life balance in check. Timmy is the ice breaker when the speaker needs a laugh from the audience. This would all bother me if it weren't for the fact that I won't be working for another 10 months.

When I first arrived at the ceremony, the HR director came up to me and said "Will we ever see you again?" I told her that I was enjoying my time off, but I was already wishing that I was working with everyone else and that by the time October 2010 rolled around, I would be thrilled to start. She responded that the minute she heard I decided to defer that she assumed I would decide to take the money and never come back. Ouch. It hadn't occurred to me that anyone would think that, but now I wonder if everyone has the same assumption. There's nothing I can do but eventually prove them wrong, but it still sucks to be starting your career facing an uphill battle of doubt and presumptions.

Then I think, why do I even care? I don't fit the mold right now, but that's just because I haven't made a new mold yet.

Lazy Writing

I like to think that I can take a hint... Pictures instead of words.




Here is Timmy testing his birthday present for some Baby Einstein video viewing. We haven't officially given it to him yet so I can't show anyone else these pictures until after his birthday party.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

Did you all miss me? It's been over three weeks since I posted, jeez. There is no good excuse, except that I have no blog material and no time in which to post it. I thought that being a SAHM would afford me countless opportunities to write about my life while eating bon bons and watching soap operas, but sadly it has not. My computer is on all day but I never get to just sit at it and do what I want. If I did, Timmy would probably be eating cat food in the toilet as soon as he saw me momentarily distracted.

Even if I did have time to write, I have to be honest with you, there is nothing interesting to say these days! I'm no longer balancing motherhood with law school or studying for the Bar; I don't yet have to balance family with work. I tried, and failed, to document my attempts at living slightly more frugally. I feel like I have nothing to contribute to your Google Reader, so I have stayed silent. And then when you've been silent for a while, you have interesting blog topics pop into your head, but you can't just post on some totally frivolous topic without acknowledging a 3 week absence. And fessing up to being a completely boring person with nothing to say seemed like more effort than I was willing to put into a post.

As I'm writing this, it's dawning on me that I only started blogging to create a therapeutic diary. I wanted to have a way to look back and remember what I did and how I felt during a great time in my life. So maybe I'll start writing about my nothing soon and hope that one day it adds up to something interesting.