My Little Lover

Although I think we may be on the brink of the terrible twos, I would gladly strap Timmy into a time capsule and try to preserve him just as he is forever if I could. He is old enough now to know exactly how to make us laugh or swoon but still innocent enough to always have good intentions.

He gives kisses and hugs on command, will blow lots of kisses every time he says "bye bye" and he snuggles with everything. He has about a million variations of stuffed animals and he often walks around the house with them, squeezing them tightly. In the car, we keep a monkey and immediately upon sitting in his carseat, he'll ask to "snagh" him. If he wants to show us something, he'll reach for our hand or finger and lead the way right to it.

When he says "pleeeeeeeze" he'll give the biggest, cheesiest grin and promptly say "tu tu' (thank you) when he gets what he was asking for.
He still likes for me to carry him when we head out in the morning, so this morning he was pointing out all the things he gets excited about (vacuum, doors, trash, trees) and after I smiled, acknowledging his sightings, he would bury his head into my shoulder and wrap his arms around my neck. Then a few seconds later, raise his head and look for more exciting things to tell me about.

On the way to school, I usually point out every bus, truck and car. But lately he preempts me and exclaims "I see!!!!!!" every time one enters his field of vision.

I know every mom thinks her kid is wonderful and uniquely gifted. I will be the first to acknowledge Timmy's shortcomings--or really--areas he lacks talent, like physical prowess and vocabulary. He is stubborn as a mule. He is a picky eater. He needs baby maternity clothing to cover his large belly. But I can confidently say that he is one of the sweetest, gentlest boys I have met. He takes care of the baby girls in his room at daycare, giving them what he thinks they need or making the teachers pay attention if they cry. He flirts with everyone. He loves to hold hands and snuggle with PJO and I. He will go up to every dog he sees and giggle as they lick his face and try to wrestle him to the ground. And even when he "body slams" us, he is kind enough to give us warning and then gently smother us rather than crushing us under his hefty 33 pounds.

If it weren't for the fact that I just started a job (and PJO telling me he's not quite ready), I would be hopping on the baby making train today. I can't wait to see Timmy love on a baby brother or sister and I can't wait to love someone new as much I love him. But I can wait. So in the meantime, I'm enjoying every single second of Timmy's toddler-hood. And let me tell you, there is nothing like the holiday season when your heart is already bursting with love. Life is good.

PJO sent me this(very blurry) picture when I was working over the weekend before Thanksgiving...it made me laugh because everything in it is SO Timmy. The vacuum that he obsesses over, the tennis racket he steals from my room and swings around the house, his puppy that he snuggles with at bedtime, and of course, his lack of pants!

Learning Process

The last few weeks were busy for me. I'm settling in to my job and trying to figure out the new normal. So far, things have been a little hectic but manageable. Despite billing relatively low hours, I've worked every weekend since I've started; sometimes just 3 hours on a Saturday from home, sometimes 30 hours in the office like this past weekend. I've worked several late nights but I've also left at 4:30pm occasionally. I know this rollercoaster is the norm for a lot of junior associates at a big firm, but I feel like it's exacerbated by the fact that we do not start in a department at my firm.

Until you departmentalize as a third year, associates in my office are free (and expected) to take work from any and all departments. If you want to try a little bit of everything to see what you enjoy, that's encouraged. If you already know that you are 100% a litigator, that's ok too. But essentially, it's up to you to reach out to the people you would like to work for and establish relationships. This presents a weird dynamic during the stub year (now until our billable hours start counting in January) because you want to line up enough work to be busy in the new year, but you are also told that you should enjoy this no-pressure time to figure things out and get comfortable. The fact that I asked people for work makes it hard to push back or say no when they give me something to do a few days later that requires work at night or on a weekend. And since I have nothing else to do, I say, "yes, I would love to help." I prefer being busy and I really don't mind working nights or weekends when the work requires it, but it is annoying to sit in an office doing nothing all day and then bill like crazy when you thought you would be at home. There is also, somewhere in the back of my mind, the awareness that if I get staffed on a busy deal now, it could ruin my holiday plans with my family and I'm just not ready for that yet. I'm hopeful that everything will even out soon.

Right about when work started getting busy two weeks ago, Timmy had another episode of ridiculously high fevers. Just six weeks after the last bout, he woke up with a fever of 105.4. And just like last time, it lasted three days and then disappeared. It was horrible to see him feeling so shitty and not be around to comfort him all day. Luckily, PJO was able to take a sick day to stay home with him that Monday and my mom was sweet enough to come up and take care of him Tuesday, so I didn't have to take time off. Taking time off work when my kid is sick is another thing that I think is totally acceptable generally but it's a little harder to justify when you're brand new.

My reward to myself for working so much during the last week is to "work from home" tomorrow and then enjoy my days off Thursday and Friday at home with my family. It's amazing how a few days away from my almost-2 year old make it seem like I've been gone for weeks. I swear, he's 6 inches taller, talking more and doing more than he was last Friday. My plan is to bake my pies tomorrow and do as much prep work as I can, then cook Thanksgiving morning with the parade on in the background. Timmy is going to go bananas over the holidays this year, I can't wait!

Put today in the Win column

I've been at my job for 4 weeks, and in that time I've had moments that are exciting, moments that are frustrating and moments that make me wonder how I'm doing and how this is all going to work out. Today it felt like everything just clicked and fell into place. For one day at least, I am not just pretending to be an attorney, I am one.

As for most people living in LA, the morning commute set the tone for the rest of the day. Since it was Veteran's day, the freeway was empty. I flew down the 10 at 80 mph instead of the normal 15.

After enjoying coffee at my desk while checking my email, I got my first "from the beginning" assignment. Up until now, any real work I've had has just been little tasks broken off from something mid-stream. It's hard to get an idea of what's going on when everyone you work with has been on the deal for weeks or months. But now I am on a bankruptcy matter, working on something new and important. I sat in meetings today with all the partners discussing strategy and we talked about what we needed to research and how to present that in a brief. Something about starting at the beginning makes this project seem more real. Maybe because it's more like a law school exam: presenting all the facts, then the issues, leaving the problem solving for the task at hand. Maybe because I feel like part of a team and not just a name that is added to a huge working group list at the end when no one is even paying attention anymore.

I'm not sure if I really like bankruptcy or if I just like the fact that I understand the basic terms and concepts already, but it's nice to be excited about the actual work I'm doing. I'm amazed at how much I remember from being a bankruptcy paralegal (already 5 years ago) and my class in law school. I went into this job thinking I wanted to do transactional tax work but it's been nearly impossible to get anything to do. (Apparently tons of people in my class want to do tax, and several spent their deferral year getting an LLM in tax). I'm interested in corporate but I've almost completely written that off because it is known to be the practice area with the worst lifestyle in terms of crazy hours on nights and weekends. So far, I've been doing some bank finance (which people claim has slightly better work-life balance than corporate) and now insolvency. I plan on trying as many different practice areas as possible before I have to declare a department in two years.

The good news is, there is very little pressure right now. Our hours don't count as stubs, so I don't have to worry about pace or filling my plate with work until January. The goal for the rest of 2010 is to meet people and have work lined up so that we can be busy January 1st. That makes it nice for a brand new baby lawyer like me because I can take my time and learn how to do the work and balance everything without being super stressed by all that I have to figure out. I really like the people at my office, I think the quality of work is good and I'm feeling super blessed to have this job right now.

Plus, I got home tonight and spent a blissful two hours with my guys. Timmy danced, hugged, giggled and moon walked (his new obsession) all over the place and I couldn't have been happier.

Gone in a Blur

Somehow it's Monday night. It seems like it was just Friday morning. I left work a little bit early Friday so I could pack for NY. Things were hectic but we made it to our flight and settled in for a nice, cozy cross-country flight. It was amazingly easy to travel kid-free but we still couldn't fall asleep on the plane. Stumbling into JFK at 5am, we lucked out by being able to check in right away at our hotel room and crashed. As soon as we woke up, the wedding festivities started. It was a typical, big Italian wedding...lots of people, lots of booze, lots of food, lots of fun. We had a great time but I think we got a little too crazy, letting the date night go to our heads. I woke up Sunday morning with what I'm pretty sure was the first (and therefore worst) hangover of my life. Somehow we pulled ourselves together and made it to our 9am flight. It was a pretty uncomfortable 6.5 hours, but I was so excited to see Timmy that I didn't care.

When we got home, we dressed Timmy up and went to our neighborhood costume parade and then to a party at a neighbor's house. It was the perfect set-up on a motor-court/courtyard in the middle of about 6 houses. The kids played with a bounce house and a millions of toys, and the adults enjoyed a taco truck and pumpkin beer (plus all the halloween candy we stole from our kids). Just like almost every other holiday, I found myself enjoying Halloween much more with a kid in tow. It's so fun to re-live your best childhood memories and see everything through a child's eyes.



And poof, just like that, we're in to November. Next week, November 8th (according to PJO) officially kicks off holiday season with his 30th birthday. Then it's just a hop, skip and a jump to Thanksgiving. Which means Christmas is right around the corner. Thank goodness time will slow down a tiny bit next weekend when the clocks fall back!

Overheard in New York Seen in Los Angeles

As I was writing recently that two hours of my day are lost to my commute, I started wondering if there is anything I can do while I drive to and from the office. I usually listen to NPR and that gives me my current event awareness that I would otherwise completely lack, but sometimes that gets boring after 45 minutes or so. I've thought about books on tape but haven't tried that yet. I also usually call my mom once a day. But what else is there? Today I spied on looked around at other drivers sharing the road with me, and my mind was instantly filled with possibilities. I saw drivers:

* Texting/emailing on their phones or blackberries
* Applying make-up
* Eating breakfast and drinking coffee
* Reading the newspaper (spread out over the steering wheel)
* Marking up a huge stack of paper with a pen
* Turning around to face their kids in the backseat to have a conversation
* Dancing
* Flossing their teeth
* Picking their nose

This was all this morning. I myself was admiring the clear, pretty air and the gorgeous view of the morning sun shining down on the Hollywood hills. Mind you, all these drivers were on the freeway, but when you are only going between 10 and 30 MPH the whole time, it apparently becomes easy to multi-task. I wonder why people think LA drivers are so terrible?

The Juggle

It begins. I knew that I should enjoy the first few days of my job where I didn't have a blackberry or work to do because it meant that I could go home ridiculously early and enjoy the entire night with PJO and Timmy. I did enjoy them, but I didn't realize how quickly I would be missing that freedom.

Around 4:30pm on Monday, I realized that I had a lot of work that needed to be done by the end of the night. Around the same time, PJO was pulled in to put out some sort of fire in his office too. (That rarely happens; he is home by 6:30 or 7 almost every day, even with his hour long commute). I could have asked the babysitter to stay late, but I decided that should wait for the days where there really is no alternative. So I left the office around 6:30 and magically navigated my way through LA rush hour traffic in 30 minutes, so I was home by 7 to let the babysitter go home. She had fed and bathed Timmy, so I spent 20 minutes or so reading and cuddling with him. As soon as I put him to bed, I started working and managed to finish everything by 12:30.

Last night I was able to leave the office pretty early, so I treated myself to a visit with one of my best friends and ended up staying at her place for wine and dinner. I knew I should have gone to bed earlier, but I was having fun... Until I realized upon coming home that Timmy was sleeping in our bed. That usually means he's been crying in his room for a while. He cried for a bit when I climbed in to bed next to him (though he wasn't awake, so he couldn't really be comforted). Finally, we all fell asleep somewhere around midnight. So now it's Wednesday and I am once again waiting to send in a revised document to the partner (after my computer ate an hour and a half of work). I am so tired from this week that I keep having to remind myself that it's not in fact Friday. I know I will be much busier and much more tired at various points over the next few years, but this is the first time in a long time that my tiredness has to do with something besides a baby and it's hard to ramp up again.

I have been pleasantly surprised so far that I still feel like I am getting enough quality time with Timmy, even on days where it is in fact only about an hour. The minute I walked in the door Monday night, he ran to me, flung his arms around my neck and didn't let go. He was happy and cuddly; I didn't have to fight with him over eating dinner or starting the bedtime routine. I just enjoyed him and held him and that was better than being with him, but not present, for 8 hours.

I am also a little surprised that I don't really think about him too much while I'm at the office. I am so excited to be at work, trying to meet people and scrounge up work and figure out how the hell to be a lawyer that it rarely enters my mind to think about him. I know he is safe and happy at daycare, and that's enough for me to move on to other things in my day.

It's going to be a struggle to find any true sense of balance in our lives for a while. PJO and I both spend 2 hours a day driving to and from work. Those commutes won't improve until one of us switches jobs, so we just have to fit work, sleep and family time into 22 hours instead of 24. There really aren't enough hours in a 24-hour day for everything to be in perfect balance, but hopefully it is a better picture over the course of a week or a month. I guess that's why they call it a juggle rather than just accepting that you'll always be deficient in one or all areas in your life.

Great Overall*

Week one of being a working mama is officially in the books. I loved it. It almost feels like I never stopped working at the Firm after my summer clerkship. I'm just as inexperienced, just as unprepared to do the work I'm given, and yet I don't feel as nervous this time around. Maybe because I know I have a grace period to figure things out. Maybe because I'm a real attorney now, with a bar number and everything. Either way, it's nice to know I belong here and I'm going to have time to get good at what I'm doing.
I love starting with a clean slate...my office is clean, shelves are empty, Outlook is organized, to-do list is manageable. I hope that lasts for a few weeks at least.

There are, of course, things that have been frustrating. For example, the fact that I had to work on Thursday night and this weekend on an internal, non-billable research project. Yes, that was annoying. And then there's the fact that some days it takes me 35 minutes to get home and some days it takes and hour and 35 minutes. And there is Timmy, who throws himself at me and won't let go because he sees me so much less than he is used to.

But overall, things are good. I wish we didn't have to travel this upcoming weekend because we have to take a red eye flight to NYC on Friday night and then fly back Sunday at 9am in order to take Timmy to the Halloween costume parade and trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. That will be exhausting.

Recap

Thank you all for the sweet comments. Today really could not have been a better first day of work. I managed to share a nice smoothie and oatmeal with Timmy this morning before dropping him off at daycare and getting to the office early. As soon as I walked into reception, everyone started asking how Timmy was and demanded to see pictures. Everywhere I turned, I saw friends I had made when I was a summer associate.
Training was a little bit mundane, but before I knew it, I was sitting in my office waiting for my mentor to take me to lunch. After enjoying a leisurely lunch with some fun ladies, I sat through a bit more training before leaving for the day at 3:45(!!) I was in my sweatpants and on my couch at 4:30pm and I still don't have a blackberry so I wasn't even obligated to check my email.

I had been a little bit apprehensive about going back to work full-time, but the minute I started talking to people at the Firm, I relaxed. I really like the people that work there and being back in the same office made me immediately feel at ease. Then the office Managing Partner gave a little speech, basically telling us that no matter where we go next, today we're starting our legal careers so we should be proactive and make it something great, shape it and direct it. Until then, I had been so focused on getting used to the mere act of being in a physical place besides home and away from my baby that I hadn't really thought of going to work as starting my career. I had been worried about the fact that I would feel trapped by the time constraints of my job so I didn't focus on the benefit of having time to devote to building my career. Now I am so excited to be starting this new part of my life.

Today, just getting dressed up, driving to a pretty office and being with educated people who had interesting and varied things to talk about made me feel so much more fulfilled than I have been in a long time. I can't even imagine the satisfaction I'll get from the substantive work when I find something that I like and am good at. I don't want to seem naive; I know there will be days that I hate what I am doing and I desperately miss my family or life outside of work. But right now I love everything about the place that I'll be spending much of my time at. Coming home and letting Timmy body slam me and point out my nose, eyes and mouth repeatedly (with corresponding pokes) was pretty cool too.

P.S. I ended up wearing a skirt and button-down shirt to work. I'm glad I didn't wear a suit...I was the most conservatively dressed female of all those who started today. One guy wore a suit and tie and he was the weird one.

Divine Intervention

Somewhere between last Sunday and Thursday, I lost my big to-do list. The one that included everything I had hoped to accomplish before I started working. I had successfully crossed off a small handful of tasks and had started working on a few more. I knew that a good amount of my goals would remain untouched and it was starting to stress me out. But really, it was a pretty ambitious list that didn't stand a chance once we all started getting sick.

I honestly felt lost for a few days. I knew there were a ton of things that I should or could be doing but couldn't focus my energy on a single task because my list was missing. So I just sat and read my book or cleaned up my place. I met friends for 3 hours for "coffee." Went shopping and enjoyed spur of the moment lunches.

And now that my first day of work is tomorrow, I know that I couldn't have spent my last few free days in a better way. No matter how hard you try to make yourself a completely clean slate to start from, it will never happen once there are kids in the picture. When you finally take care of paying that disputed doctor bill or finish a project, there is another one right around the corner. And I'm kind of at peace with that now. Sure, our lives will be hectic and I'll feel frazzled from time to time, but that's ok.

So today we are going to carve pumpkins and roast some seeds. I made my weekly menu and bought the groceries, so we'll cook this afternoon. I'll clean and I'll pick out my outfit for tomorrow. Then we'll watch Mad Men (is it seriously the finale already?!) and go to sleep early. I feel ready and I am so excited. Crossing off everything on that massive list couldn't have been a better ending to my time off than this day.

The End / The Beginning

This is my last week before work starts. I'm trying to make it count. PJO had the day off work for Columbus Day, so we decided Timmy could skip daycare and have a day-o-fun instead.

We let him run out all of his energy at My-Gym and exclaim with delight to his heart's content at every airplane taking off and landing at LAX. We sampled strawberries and sweet Italian sausage at Whole Foods while we did our grocery shopping for the week. We took a family nap and snuggled for 3 hours together. It was really delightful to have that bonus time to spend together without thinking about what we should be doing or worrying about our to-dos.

I also made meals for the week and cleaned our apartment, so we're starting on a good note. Our new babysitter starts tomorrow for the daycare pick-ups, so I'll be spending my afternoons with her. But my mornings will be spent meeting friends for coffee and breakfast, reading, sewing and making Timmy's baby book. Friday night I'm going out with the friends I used to hang out with every day at the tot lot and park. I certainly didn't do everything from my big to-do-before-work-starts list, but I did the important things.

Today I got an email from the Firm about my first day. It included a schedule of training sessions for the week, allotted an hour and a half for lunch with my mentor the first day and it gave the time that we'll get our first assignment. After the initial flutter of butterflies, I realized I was totally, completely excited. It was just like walking up to the school doors in September and finding my name on the class list, figuring out who my teacher and classmates were. Suddenly, it is real and it is going to happen soon!

Trial Run #1

I haven't posted until now because I thought I had used up even my (usually high) quota of complaining, but I couldn't bring myself to write anything positive or upbeat either. The night after the trip to the ER, Timmy's fever spiked again. We alternated the max doses of Tylenol and Motrin for 15 hours, plus gave him three cool baths before it finally broke again. I knew that if I called the Doctor she would tell us to go to the ER again (because his fever was over 105), and I knew that the ER would just do the same things we were doing to get his fever down before testing for what was wrong. I couldn't bear the thought of traumatizing Timmy with another trip there and I didn't like the idea of paying my $150 copay again either, so we stayed home to do battle on the fever. I spent 8 hours on Thursday traveling between the Pediatrician and the Lab trying to figure out what was wrong with him, and we ended up getting a shot of antibiotics plus a new prescription to augment our Augmentin (ha, get it?).


He passed out immediately after the shot on the exam table.

He hasn't had any more really high fevers, so hopefully that infection is dead. We never did find out what was wrong.

Anyway, that sounded a lot like complaining, didn't it? The point of the post is to tell you that we're trying to get back into a rhythm. Now that we're in October, Timmy is in daycare full-time. I have this week to myself. Next week our babysitter starts. I wanted a few days to break her in while I'm here, so we'll spend four afternoons together next week. Then the following Monday is my first day of work. Therefore, this week sounded like a good time to try and find a routine that will work for us. Mostly that just involves our attempts to be more organized.

Sunday we planned out our menu for the week, bought all the groceries we needed, and cooked. I made meals for several nights, washed and cut up produce for salads to take for lunch, and made sure our pantry was stocked for the week. We did laundry and cleaned up so that we could start our week on a fresh note and hopefully convince ourselves that we feel healthy and ready to take on Monday.

Monday morning I got out of bed when PJO did, made the bed, showered, and got ready. PJO and I prepared lunches together in the kitchen before Timmy woke up. PJO was out the door on his way to work by 6:40, and that's when I got Timmy and ate breakfast with him, got him dressed and on his way to daycare.

My favorite part of the morning is eating breakfast with Timmy. I always ask him if he wants oatmeal or cereal, and he loves getting to choose. Lately, it's always been an enthusiastic "O-MEEL!!" I usually make a green smoothie and share it with him.


The only problem is all the dirty dishes this creates, which adds time to our morning routine. I think we'll need to wake up earlier or do more the night before if I'm actually going to get into the office at a decent hour, but it's helping to know that we'll be able to do it.

How do you make your mornings efficient?

One Eye Open

This isn't titled "One Eye Open" because I'm on alert, it's because I literally have only one eye open. The other is filled with too much goop to even bother. At least I can still sort of hear through my infected ears. Thanks, Timmy.
But, of course, I can't be upset about my insignificant little pink eye infection because Timmy also has it. And he has been on quite the roller coaster the past few days.

Let's see, where to begin? Where did I leave off? Who the hell knows...basically, Monday morning I take him to the pediatrician and get him started on antibiotics. I can't see my doctor until Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday morning, Timmy woke up nearly perfect. He had slept 13 hours, he had clear eyes and less congestion and was very happy. Wonderful! I thought. I took him to my appointment at 4pm Tuesday, then went straight to Target to get my Z-pack. That's when I noticed he was starting to feel warm. As soon as we got home, I took his temperature. It was somewhere around 102 or 103. We gave him Motrin, water, and a cool bath and put him to bed. That usually does the trick for him. But then he woke up at 2:30am (Wednesday now) with a crazy fever. 105.6 degrees to be exact. I totally panicked, he was hot to the touch. We immediately gave him Motrin and another cool bath, but it didn't help much. I called his pediatrician and she said to take him to the ER.

Around 3am, we get to the ER and he is just a crying mess. They gave him Tylenol. They put him in an awful vice used to take chest x-rays of infants that seriously looked like a medieval torture device. Timmy thought so too. Eventually, he fell asleep. Around 6am, he woke up in a pool of sweat but his fever had broken.

We were discharged with instructions to re-check with his pediatrician this afternoon. He seemed totally fine and happy and fever-free through his nap time, so she told us not to bother coming in, but call if anything changed. And of course, right about when their office closed for the day, he started getting another high fever and refusing food and drink.

The thing is, we're 99% sure the high fever is due to a viral infection, so there is no magic drug the doctor can give him. I'm just trying to pump him full of liquids, get rid of his fever and make sure he gets some rest. That's actually quite hard to do with a toddler who feels shitty and doesn't understand what's going on. It's also hard to do when I feel like crap myself.

How many times can I say that I'm so thankful for this happening now before I start working before the universe stops reminding me?

Down for the Count

I went to bed at 8pm last night. All three of us have been sick since Friday, and Timmy was back to his newborn ways of waking up every few hours at night. It was awful actually, because instead of just feeding or changing him and putting him back to sleep, all I could really do was hold, rock and console him as he cried out in pain every time he coughed. It was quite the pathetic little scene actually.

So far the daycare diseases seem to strike the hardest on weekends. This time, Timmy had a horrible cough, congestion and pink eye. I had an earache and sore throat with flu-like chills and PJO is only just now getting some version of what I had.

So instead of going to daycare yesterday, we went to the doctor. He's got antibiotics and eye drops now, and I think I have those to thank for the 12+ hours he's sleeping. (It's 7:30am and he's still sleeping, possibly a new record for him!)

You know when your body gets used to waking up every few hours with a new baby and then on the rare occasions when you're away from the baby or the baby sleeps longer, you still wake up and can't fall back asleep? That was me last night. Up at 11:45, up at 3, then awake for good at 6 when PJO was getting ready for work. I should have taken NyQuil.

Somebody please tell me that we won't be sick forever.

Do as I say, not as I do

One thing on my to do list was to go to the dentist. Last time I went was October 2007(!). I know, that's gross. The thing is, I showed up at my appointment for 6 months after that, and they refused to examine me because I was pregnant. Barely pregnant. Like, I don't even think the stick I had peed on was dry yet. 6 months after that I was still pregnant. Then 6 months later I had a newborn and was studying for finals. And then....I guess my excuse had to be having no one else to watch my baby during business hours. Anyway...it had been a while. And boy did I pay for it.

I hate admitting that I don't follow the rules, so it was with great shame that I fessed up to not flossing regularly and eating sugary candy. It was with even greater shame that I got 2 fillings fixed and got 2 new ones. I also may have to get some old dental work fixed at some point soon. I wish I were a shark and could just grow a new set of teeth.

So, tonight as Timmy screamed while I tried to floss between his two bottom teeth, I swore that I would establish good routines with him and make him appreciate a healthy smile. Because I really love that smile.

Peer Pressure

Today at our little playgroup, two more moms announced they are pregnant. This brings the grand total of moms in our group with only a single child to a whopping 1; Me. If you count the mom of triplets, everyone is on to round 2 besides me. I swear just yesterday I showed up to the park, sat down on our circle of blankets and watched everyone's babies learn to crawl and steal each others' teething toys. These days, though, our playgroups consist largely of mediating fights over the pink puppy or Tonka truck and saying "no hitting your friends." That, and oooohing and aaaaahing over the new little additions.

It's hard to explain, but I feel left behind. Our conversations about potty training, transitioning to toddler beds and pre-school are now punctuated with newborn sleep schedules and nursing. Any relevant commentary I might provide on those is based on very vague recollections at this point. On the days when I feel like complaining that Timmy won't take naps at home anymore, I don't because my problems are kind of trivial compared to those of the moms with a toddler AND a newborn. There are fewer and fewer friends to join me for a mom's night out to our local restaurant for wine or go work out with.

The thing is, I'm not quite ready to jump on that bandwagon. Well, I probably would if my circumstances were different, but I just can't. I don't think it is fair or wise to purposefully start my job pregnant. I also really want to give myself at least a few months of working before we decide to give up the relatively easy life of parents to one toddler. At the same time, I don't want the gap between Timmy and a second baby to be too large. We definitely want at least two kids and if we're going to all that trouble, it would be nice for them to at least be close enough in age to be friends.

So today, I'm finally feeling ready to think about baby #2, but am unable to do anything about it for awhile. Tomorrow, I will probably go back to marveling at how so few of my school/work friends have even thought of starting a family yet. Strange how the circles you run in can affect your perspective.

The many parts of our system

Today I got one step closer to preparing for my life as a working mother...I hired a babysitter. Timmy's daycare closes everyday at 6pm. Between PJO's 50 mile commute and my commute through the 7th circle of hell LA traffic, neither one of us can guarantee we'll be there by closing time. Considering daycare charges $2 per minute if you're late, we can't exactly show up late, offer heartfelt apologies, and go on our way. So we hired someone to pick Timmy up every day, bring him home, take him to the park, read him stories, and possibly give him dinner and a bath. Presumably at least one of us will be home by 7pm to send her home, and in the worst case scenario that we can't, it's easier to impose on someone that you always pay by the hour than the daycare. I'm hopeful it will work and I like the girl who will be Timmy's chauffeur.

But this sucks. I hate that I have to put him in daycare full time and still hire someone else to cover extra hours. I hate that the measly one hour separating an impossible time to get home from a reasonable one increases our monthly childcare costs by 60%. I hate that there will be 2 places I need to speak with if I want to hear about Timmy's day. I hate that I won't be the one who gets to show up to daycare and have a smiling Timmy running to me ready to show off something he made that day.

But this is our plan. I still would rather have him at daycare than at home with a nanny because I know he needs that environment and socialization. And it is cheaper, even with the babysitter added. But I would be a lot more excited about embarking on our new lives if it were a bit more simple. 9-5 never sounded more glamorous than it does right now.

This is the Whole Point

After successfully making it through week 1 of daycare, all three of us were excited for a weekend of family time. We ended up making spur of the moment plans with friends three different times and had a great time hanging out with our cuddly toddler. At least until Saturday night.

We went to our friends new apartment for dinner and drinks. Timmy fell asleep while I held him and I transferred him to their guestroom. Around 11:30pm, he woke up and came out to get us, so we decided it was time to leave. Our heads didn't hit the pillow until 1am. Around 3:30am, I heard Timmy crying, but didn't go into his room when he calmed himself down to a whimper. But screaming ensued at 5am, so I went to check on him. The wave of vomit hit me before I even saw him. It was everywhere, in his hair, on his PJs, on every lovey and stuffed animal he owns. Maybe throwing up isn't a big deal to most parents, but he's never done it before, so it seemed just awful. I slapped on my rubber yellow gloves and managed to clean it all up while PJO gave him a bath. Then all three of us snuggled together. He acted completely fine once we woke up, so I assumed we had just given him too much junk food that day.

But today, PJO and I both caught this bug. Of course, it happened on a day where Timmy and I drove down with PJO to work, so we were stuck there all day. Luckily, I was able to make it to my mom's house, and she watched Timmy while I moaned and groaned on the couch. PJO left work early, and we decided I should drive since he had thrown up more recently than I. Somehow we made the 48 mile drive without throwing up or falling asleep.

We couldn't have asked for better behavior from Timmy. He ate his dinner while we shivered and complained about our achey bodies on the couch. He watched 2 hours of Nick Jr today because I physically couldn't sit up and entertain him. I was cursing daycare for passing on this stomach bug because I never get the flu...I'm strictly a cold and sinus infection kind of gal. But then I realized, this was the whole point of starting him in daycare early. We are giving him almost 6 weeks before I start working so he can adjust and so we can hopefully get through some of the initial daycare-germ onslaught before PJO or I will have to leave work early to pick up a sick Timmy.

So even things are happening exactly as I predicted, it still sucks. I can't even imagine how much worse it will be when I get sick and have to work. Or when all three of us are sick at the same exact time. The one thing that has surprised me is how well Timmy is adjusting to daycare. I got glowing reviews yesterday at pick-up, and then had to wake him up from his nap (at 3:15pm!!). He has never taken a nap longer than 2 hours for me, so this is sweet, sweet victory.

Who is the Real Don Draper?

Did anyone else watch Mad Men tonight and find yourself wishing Don won't take the whole "get clean, sober and back on track" thing too seriously? What would Mad Men be without the boozing at work and the womanizing? Yet, at the same time, I cringe when I see his self-destructive behavior, the ugly chicks he doesn't know in his bed and Betty looking like the one in the relationship who is holding herself together.

At least if Mad Men goes south, Glee will be back on next week.

Man Hands

So many of my friends are teachers now and I think every one of them is just perfectly cut out for the job. They're all sweet, patient, fun and cute. The other night I told my friend, who was just hired to teach biology at a new school, that her students were going to love her because I can't imagine a better person to teach them. That got me reminiscing...what did I think of my teachers at the time?

I was horrified to remember that the kids in my class made fun of my 5th grade teacher for having hairy arms. Every time she would come to your desk and lean her arms across it to examine your work, people would stare in disgust at her thickly covered forearms. And there was our AP US History teacher who was morbidly obese and would have panic attacks in class; she certainly didn't go unnoticed by mean high school kids. Then there was my freshman MUN* teacher, I'll call her Ms. P. This one I have to acknowledge my participation in the ridiculing. She was a giant, probably over 6 feet tall, and built like a linebacker. Her saccharine-sweet voice was pretty much her only feminine trait. I remember giggling with my friends as we passed doodles back and forth, depicting exaggerated and outrageous cartoons of Ms. P, often with an arrow labeling her "man hands."

I'm sure that these teachers occasionally overheard students joking or intercepted a note passed in class. I would like to think that their self-esteem wasn't forever damaged by the opinions of teenagers. But oh. my. gosh. How rude was I?!?! The ironic thing, of course, is that I ended up being tall and lanky with large hands and probably many features that kids would dramatize and label in a cartoon of me. I shudder to think what my students would say about me if I became a teacher, which is why I am very thankful I'll be entering a profession which is not known for judging its members on beauty or popularity.

*Does anyone else know what MUN stands for, or was I the only nerd that did that?

Big Bad Preschooler

Today was his official first day at preschool. No tears at drop-off. He seemed completely unaware that he was supposed to notice me telling him I was leaving him there, alone.

I stopped by Starbucks on my way home and leisurely enjoyed drinking my pumpkin spice latte while I looked over my extensive to-do-before-work-starts list. No toddler demanding my attention every 5 minutes. Toys and books magically stayed where I put them all day. It was fantastic.

Everyone keeps asking me what exactly I'm going to do all day while childless. I have some big plans; projects that have been on the back-burner for years, books that I have been dying to read, work-outs that I've been shamefully neglecting. Today I accomplished two big things. First, I cleaned out my pre-married email inbox. I send all of my non-personal email there (i.e. advertising emails and confirmations), and I don't check it regularly. Somewhere it snowballed out of control and this morning I had over 5800 unread emails. Now there are 0. That took a while. Second, I cleaned both bathrooms in my apartment. I am still smelling the fumes and bleach, but I am really hoping that's the last deep clean I'll ever do on these bathrooms. My paycheck, and therefore my cleaning lady that I shall hire, cannot come soon enough.

Anyway, back to Timmy. He did much better than I expected he would. Apparently he cried off and on, but he happily played for much of the day. He refused his lunch, but he did take a nap. I walked in when all the kids were listening to music class. He was not happy, but he was watching. Then he looked up, locked his gaze on my eyes, and proceeded to bawl. Tears gushing down his face, chest heaving. I picked him up and it took two minutes to calm him down, but then he was fine. He happily said goodbye to his teachers and was only slightly more clingy than normal the rest of the afternoon. Other than crying at bedtime tonight (which never happens anymore), I see no evidence that he had any disruption to his normal routine.

So day 1 is down. I'm pleasantly surprised at how well he did, and not at all surprised at how well I did. I honestly did not feel the slightest bit sad. That probably has something to do with the fact that I'm not actually going to work yet, I know this is just transition right now, so it's ok if he is a little bit sad in the beginning. I know he is going to love being there, and I'm glad that by the time I do start working, he'll be adjusted and happy to be there. For now, I'm going to just enjoy my me-time and try to organize my life while I still have the time and energy to do it.

Timmy didn't cooperate in posing for a picture on his first day of school, but I did manage to get him enjoying his breakfast before leaving and then testing out the little chairs and toys upon arrival.

Family Bliss

Restored and refreshed, we're all back from our trip to the Mexican Riviera. I had the best time being with my two boys for a solid week where our biggest chore everyday was getting dressed up for dinner. PJO and I were able to really enjoy being with Timmy and watching him explore and admire everything around him.

Timmy made friends with much of the staff on the ship. For some reason, he really loved running in the hallway outside our cabin, so he would squeal with delight every time we opened the door. Upon hearing that (loud) sound, all the suite attendants would pop their heads out of the rooms they were cleaning and say "Hi, Timmy" with a big smile.

PJO and I took advantage of the cruise babysitting service a few times (2 hour blocks each time), which let us sit out by the pool with drinks, go out for some wine tasting and play at the arcade. It was just enough time to fully relax and enjoy our trip toddler-free without giving up the family aspect of the vacation.

At night, Timmy slept on the pull-out couch in our room and we would often enjoy a drink and conversation on the balcony, somewhat drowned out by the sound of the waves below us. The night of our anniversary, we sailed from Mazatlan to Puerto Vallarta. Once Timmy had fallen asleep, we shared a bottle of champagne and chocolate covered strawberries while looking out on an amazing lightening storm over the ocean.

While there were several shore excursions I would have loved to do, many were not toddler friendly (swimming with the dolphins, scuba diving, zip lining), so we ended up picking pretty low-key things to do in each place...hanging out at the beach in Cabo, at a resort on the beach in Puerto Vallarta. My favorite was "Salsa, Salsa, Margarita" in Mazatlan. At a beautiful hotel on the beach, we learned how to make several types of margaritas, guacamole and six kinds of salsa. Then we learned how to salsa dance. After the lessons, we lounged at the pool and beach and watched fat American tourists zip down the water slide. Eating guacamole and drinking margaritas were pretty much my only goals for my time in Mexico and I certainly accomplished them.

It was also nice to practice my Spanish a little bit. I haven't really spoken or listened to the language since I lived in Madrid 6 years ago (!), but I was amazed at how much came right back to me when I was trying to ask directions or negotiate for souvenirs.







I guess I'm happy to be back home and getting back to real life. I swore that I would detox from alcohol a bit when I returned from vacation, but then it just so happened that all of my favorite seasonal beer (pumpkin!) was fully stocked at the grocery store. And a 6 pack of Harvest Moon was $8.99 while a 12 pack was only $10.99, so of course it only made sense to buy the 12 pack. At least winter seasonal ale is usually disgusting.

Vacation from Technology

In a few hours, PJO, Timmy and I are driving down to board our Mexico-bound cruise ship. A few hours after that, my phone will be turned off and I won't check my email or facebook for a week! PJO doesn't think I can actually go that long, but of course that only strengthens my resolve to abstain from my internet pleasures.

It will be nice to be off the grid for a while and give my eyes a reprieve from the blinding glare of a computer. More than that, I'm looking forward to uninterrupted family time, drinks brought to me by the pool, meals with no clean-up or preparation involved and (especially) the murder mystery dinner I'm going to tonight. I think Timmy will have fun too, mostly because we'll be on a BOAT!

See you all in a week.

Anonymity and Community

I find it incredibly sad when online-friends have to leave because of issues with reconciling their job security and an online anonymous persona. The advice and trail-blazing examples I've gotten from the blogs I read have been invaluable to me. Without the MILPs, I would have known zero women who had a baby in law school and I would be lost right now as I try to become a lawyer with a child. If I had a private blog, I would never "meet" new people going through the same things I did.

I know that anyone who really wanted to could figure out my name, where I live and where I work very easily. If I was really paranoid about it (or smart?), I would take off all the pictures, remove anything more than the most generic references to my firm and come up with a more discreet online name.

But I like being able to share who I am and what I'm about. I like learning about other people in this community. And I think that learning from what others do is all about the details. Some of the most helpful and informative posts I've read are the ones that basically break down the "how we do it" and the daily minutia. It feels like you're just talking to a friend on the phone and staying in touch by being able to visualize how they go about their day.

I know I'm not a consistent poster and I wish I had the creative talent to make my writing interesting or eloquent, but I just thought that I should put it out there: I really value the online friendships (or whatever they are) I have with all of you. I find myself experiencing your triumphs and tragedies along with you just as I do with my friends in "real life." And I know I feel surrounded by love when there is a community to do the same for me.

I should say that I'm not even sure what happened to all of the bloggers I'm thinking of while writing this post; for all I know, they could have just decided to stop on their own without any pressure from outside sources. But I do know that each of us feels some sort of internal struggle to reconcile our desire to share our stories with our self-preservation instincts.

So I guess I'll just say that I hope everyone keeps writing and sharing for a long time to come, and that if for some reason we can't do that anymore, I hope I will be able to keep in touch with all of you some other way. And while I do feel ridiculous at times referring to people I've never met as "my friends," I take comfort in the fact that maybe some of you have found friendship in this community too. Who knows, the distinction between "online" and "real life" may be fleeting too.

A little piece of me

This is my last week of being home with Timmy full time. Sunday, the three of us leave for a cruise to the Mexican Riviera(!) as our last hurrah / wedding anniversary trip. Then Timmy will start daycare right after Labor day. Time isn't just flying by anymore, it's hurtling past me at breakneck speed, threatening to knock me down and render me unconscious if I so much as try to watch is pass.

As Timmy's preschool debut draws nearer, everyone has been asking me if I'm nervous. And I say no, because that's definitely not the word I would use to describe it. I'm excited for him to go, because I know he'll love it eventually; I'm anxious to see how long the transition takes because I am quite certain it's going to be absolutely awful; I'm thrilled that I'm going to be getting dressed up, enjoying a solo car ride and walking into my office every day; and I'm sad that I won't have as much time as I want/need with my really, fantastically fun boy.

I think one of the hardest parts of his transition will be nap time. I have never known him to sleep anywhere but his own crib very well. Add in the distraction of the other kids and the lacking of his usual comforts (blankie and puppy), I think naps just won't happen for a while. I thought maybe I could comfort him a little bit by giving him a nap mat that has all the things he loves on it. So I made this, and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.






He loves to point out the things on the top blanket, and I hope that might distract him slightly when he's distraught in a few weeks. "PLANE!" "CHOO-CHOO!" "WOO WOO WOO! [Firetruck]" "BOAT!"

I'm not the type of person that gets emotionally attached to tangible objects, but it does sort of comfort me knowing that he'll have something I made specifically for him to wrap him up and cuddle him during nap time when I can't be there with him.

a boy

Not so much a baby anymore. Most of my friends in the Mom's Group (the ones with kids the same age as Timmy) are on to round #2 of babies. He's still my baby though. Sometimes I wonder, until what age is it appropriate to squeeze, cuddle and smother a boy? I hope for many years to come...

Questions about: Family Budgeting

Now that PJO and I have nailed down most of the relevant figures for determining a budget (i.e. known rent vs. unknown mortgage amount, picked a daycare vs. estimating average costs), we decided to revisit our family budget and see where we stand.

It wasn't all doom and gloom. I managed to squeeze in a budget for an occasional manicure with student loan payments, 401K/IRA contributions and savings. I didn't mind too much getting rid of HBO and Netflix. But I couldn't help feeling a little dismayed when I realized that I'm not actually going to be able to replace my cat-scratched bedding or take up a new hobby anytime soon. And that idea that when we do buy a house, we'll be able to decorate to our hearts' content, free of budgetary restraints? Not going to happen.

I have to say, knowing that our money situation will be static for a while makes it seem much more important to stick to the budget we made. Previously, we would create budgets but it was harder to define our monthly income and expenses with my temporary jobs or one-time stipends. This time, we tried to honestly estimate or over-estimate what we spend on each category so that, if anything, we end up with extra money each month that we can use to pay down my student loans.

So here's what I'm wondering:

* How do you keep track of/enforce your budget?
I remember my mom used to take out a certain amount of cash at the beginning of each month, put it in labeled envelopes and limit herself to whatever was in them for the whole month. Then if there was anything left over, she would treat herself with it. I don't like the idea of carrying around that much cash, but I will have no idea what I'm spending on what (without considerable work) if I just use my credit card for everything.

* Do you use sinking funds, and if so, for what?
We were thinking of diverting money each month into different smarty pig accounts for several categories that are annual or semi-annual. Car insurance, gift-giving, travel. That doesn't seem like the most efficient way to earmark the money and keep track of it, but I'm not sure what else would be easier.

* What about miscellaneous spending?
We made a separate category for miscellaneous spending (because we always spend miscellaneously), but I guess you could just make it a catch-all fund from whatever is left over at the end of the categories you really need.

For you women that work, do you have a separate account for your own discretionary spending or do you just share accounts and budget separately for what you need? I'm thinking specifically about spending on clothes/shoes/bags/personal maintenance, but it could be whatever you want to spend money on.
I made clothing a category in our budget, but I didn't differentiate between PJO, Timmy or myself. A set amount of money will be set aside each month, but I'm sure we'll spend more sporadically than that. And I am pretty sure I'll spend more on my clothes than the other two members of my household.

What is your biggest budget pitfall?
I already know mine will be the food/grocery one. It always is. I can't help that I really like to order a margarita when I go out for Mexican food or buy wine with every grocery trip. I just can't.

Or do you not budget at all? Maybe you just naturally exercise so much fiscal restraint that you have plenty of money diverted to savings and investments without even having to try?

Not to make myself seem frivolous or anything...

I mentioned recently that even though I know I am excited to start working soon, all I can seem to think about is how I'm sad that my time as Timmy's sole caregiver is coming to an end. Maybe the shock has worn off and I have fully accepted that soon Timmy will be at daycare every day. (Filling out enrollment forms and getting labels for all of his things has a way of bringing a sense of reality to it.) Or maybe it's just that my first day of work is looming nearer. All I know is I am actually getting really excited for my first day at the office.

I would be lying if I said it's purely because I can't wait another minute for the stimulating legal analysis that will be in my future at the Firm. While I do look forward to using my brain for more challenging problem-solving than figuring out how to cook dinner while entertaining a toddler, the substance of my future career is a little too amorphous for me to understand it right now, much less be excited by it. What is making me feel giddy is planning out my work wardrobe and thinking about the school work supplies I'll be able to buy order from the supply cabinet. Organizing my appointments and to-dos in outlook. Showering before nap time and making myself presentable for someone other than my son to see each day. Working as a team with other intelligent and hard working people.

Due to budget constraints, I'm going to ask for advice for my first day of work instead of buying new work-wardrobe pieces.

- What should I wear the first day? Suit? Conservative business casual? Dress?
- What essentials will I want to have in my office?
- Should I plan on going to lunch with people the first few weeks so I force myself to socialize or should I get in the habit early of packing lunches to save time and money?
- Should I introduce myself to all the partners I may want to work for so they might give me assignments before my peers or should I see what is handed to me so I'm not overwhelmed at first?
- Should I get to work early and stay late even if I have nothing to do, or should I take advantage of not being busy and go home?
- What words of wisdom have helped you feel comfortable and confident at your job?

Also, if you hear of any truly great deals, my work wardrobe does in fact need some updating. I bought many nice pieces when I was a summer associate, but that was two years ago and I was pregnant. And if I dressed poorly, I could still blame it on being a student.

10 Questions about: Your Scent

1. Do you wear perfume?
2. If so, every day or just on special occasions?
3. Do you switch up scents or stick to one tried and true?
4. Does your significant other also wear perfume/cologne?
5. If you don't use perfume, do you consciously use a scented lotion or hair care products so that you will have a signature smell?
6. If you're physically allergic to perfume, how do you let the offenders know?
7. Have you ever been scolded for wearing a noticeably strong scent?
8. Are there certain perfumes that should only be used at certain ages?
9. Do you buy it online, get it as a gift, or impulse buy when walking through the cosmetic section of a department store?
10. Do you try on new scents from the samples in magazine?


I've been wondering.

Latest Adventures in Crafting

As my baby grows older, parenthood is becoming less physically demanding and seems to require fewer accessories. Timmy can pretty much eat and drink from whatever a restaurant gives him. I no longer need to carry around burp cloths or little toys. Most of our outings are just to the parks and playgrounds we can walk to. Lugging my big and heavy diaper bag around seems more and more burdensome as the days go by. With this in mind, I present to you....The Diaper Clutch!



It is a little thing to hold a couple diapers, a disposable changing pad and some wipes. I could throw in keys or a cell phone too. You could also throw it into a bigger diaper bag so it's easy to find amidst all the baby accessories when taking a younger baby out on the town.



It snaps shut, is fully lined and the only exposed seam is just a little teeny thing at the bottom of the inside.



I can't take credit for the design. My friend and I have become obsessed with sewing, and she came up with the pattern for this. I really love my little clutch and I get better and more efficient with each one I make. I think they'll make good gifts for my friends having babies.

My next project is to make a little sleeping bag/nap mat for Timmy to take to daycare. I have the fabric but I'm still trying to settle on a design.

There is this style, or something more like this. If the final product isn't completely embarrassing, I'll post pictures when it's finished.

I think in timelines

We've been busy...Here's what we've done and what we're planning on doing.

We celebrated the fourth of July at the beach.





I (mostly single-handedly) entertained my in-laws this month. This included a trip to Disneyland. It was fun and I was surprised at how much there was to do for even a kid Timmy's age.



Seeing cousins together is very cute, especially when they hug and kiss:


I went with my brothers and Timmy to the Midwest for my cousin's wedding. I think my aunts, uncles and cousins are exceptionally fun and I love reunions. There are 19 cousins on my mom's side, and now that many of us are married, we make quite a crowd wherever we are. We also visited Chicago for the first time and really enjoyed it.







We planned an end-of-summer vacation...Cruising down to Mexico at the end of August, and we'll celebrate our anniversary in Mazatlan! I decided that this means I need to get in shape, so I finally broke the seal on my 30 Day Shred DVD. I have pretty much been keeping up with that, but my nasty habit of finding/seeking out cookies has sort of been sabotaging my body slimming plan.

Timmy's daycare is officially set up. He will start going a few days a week the first week of September. I imagine starting daycare will be for him much like starting work will be for me: exciting, thrilling and tragic all at the same time. I am still very excited to start my job, but now that I have only 1 month left of staying home with him full time, I just find myself wishing that I was only going to be working part-time. I'm going to miss hanging out with him so much, and I'm going to miss being the person that knows him better than anyone else in the world. Maybe once my student loans are paid off. Sigh.

Now you're pretty much caught up on my boring life. And given the rate of my posting, you won't hear from me again until I am a working woman.

Space is at a premium

Since we decided to stay in LA, I have been throwing out and donating old stuff, organizing what we are keeping to better utilize the minimal space we have and trying to consolidate/label stuff in our little storage space above our parking spots. Our storage units (2 of them) are probably the size of big freezers that hold ice cream sandwiches near checkout at Quicki-marts. About 65% of their contents are baby-related. The problem is, they're jam-packed and we keep generating more stuff for storage as Timmy outgrows another round of clothes or toys or accessories. Luckily, my mom just got a storage unit for some of my grandma's furniture she inherited that she hasn't made room for yet, and offered some space to me. Some space. Here's my problem:



These are the clothes that Timmy has outgrown in his short 18 months here on Earth. Just the clothes. I also have stored in our garage his infant swing and bouncer, exerSaucer, Baby Einstein floor gym, bumbo seat, boppy, and pack 'n play. There are things that I would love to store if I had plenty of space because we never use them anymore, like the giant glider and ottoman in his room or some more old toys or one of my two giant strollers, or his high chair when he moves on to a booster seat soon.

Everything I'm saving is something that I will probably want to use again whenever we have another baby. I also am saving a few things just for Timmy, keepsakes like his baptismal outfit and hospital blanket. I'm definitely starting to feel like the stuff I own owns me, but I can't bring myself to get rid of any of it. Then I start to wonder how long it will take to reach the point where it's cheaper to buy new stuff for the next baby than to pay to store our old stuff.

Ahh the joys of Apartment living!

18 months old

Today the Timster turns 18 months old. He's quickly approaching the age where you measure him in years rather than months. At one and a half, he is 33.5 inches tall, weighs 30 lbs, 7 oz and has a head that takes 20 inches of measuring tape to circumnavigate.

Here's a little taste of the "letter" I wrote to him for family, friends and posterity on our little family blog:

You are one and a half today and a completely delightful, funny and sweet little boy (most of the time). With every passing day you start looking more like a toddler (and your dad) and less like a baby.

You're a big, bulky guy and everyone comments that you are going to be a football player (we'll see about that when you're older...). I bought you new shoes yesterday and just about fainted when the lady brought out size 7 wide shoes. You're like a German Shepherd puppy; you still need to grow into your feet (and your head).



A bunch of new teeth are invading your mouth. You have 7 in front and 4 molars. Your hair is getting lighter, thick and wavy, needing frequent haircuts, which I still do at home. Your eyes are a bluish/greenish/gray color, depending on the light and what you're wearing, though I have a feeling they may still change.



You are almost as stubborn as your mama, and want to do everything by yourself. I don't even bother trying to feed you anymore. And you do just fine anyway, using forks and spoons really well.

You're turning into a very active boy, running, climbing, bouncing and dancing. There is probably nothing that gets you more excited than the sight of trucks or cranes or anything remotely related to construction work. Every time you see an airplane or the moon in the sky, you point up, shriek with excitement and tell me what you see. Now you like boats and trains too. That's not to say you only like "boy" toys. At the park, you jump on the chance to push around a little stroller with a baby doll in it.

Without a doubt, your favorite activity is reading books. There are easily 100 books in your collection and I honestly can't say which is your favorite; we read them all, and some we read multiple times a day. Sometimes you'll sit in front of the bookshelves, pulling them off one at a time, flipping through the pages, pointing to things we talk about and babbling something incomprehensible. The end result is a pile that completely buries you. Other times, you'll bring them one at a time to me, shouting "Book! Book!" and plop in my lap.



A few times a week, I let you watch a TV show while I cook dinner. As soon as the word "Backyardigans" comes out of my mouth, you smile and sprint to your little chair, get comfortable and wait for your little singing and dancing friends to appear on the screen. Then you'll watch, completely entranced, for the entire 30 minutes, laughing at all the right times. It's adorable.



You love animals, especially dogs, but recently you've rediscovered our cats and find the things they do hilarious. George crawls into a bag...hilarious! Sweet Pea runs away from you...hilarious! You also love flirting with the ladies, and when you really want to impress them, you flash your belly button and grin.




There is so much more I could say about you at this age, but I'm not sure it's possible to put it all into words. Just know that your parents (and grandparents/aunts/uncles/friends) love spending time with you and watching you become your own little self.

Love,
Mama

(Here are a bunch of random photos from the past month or two)