Thursday, April 26, 2012
Overwhelmed
Life is sort of wearing me down and leaving me behind in the dust as it speeds forward. Work continues to be busy, except rather than one HUGE matter (seriously, the last deal had a deal team of over 60 lawyers), I'm staffed on 5 active deals, a pro bono matter and a small ancillary matter. Timmy is going through a phase (perhaps delayed rebellion over the new baby, perhaps just run-of-the-mill terrible threes?) where just being with him for 30 minutes is completely exhausting. The slightest provocation (or none at all) will make him burst into tears and/or saying lots of "NO!" and/or throwing toys or half-heartedly attempting to hit us. Every day, we do this dance where he talks about how he wants to be a baby, and I say, fine, then you have to wear diapers and eat baby food. Do you like baby food? Then he responds with "no, I don't like that, it's yucky. I want to be a big kid and play on the big playground." Some days when we pick him up at daycare, he runs away and says he wants to stay at school. Then when it's time to head to school the next morning, he cries and says he wants to stay home. Some days, he pleads with me to stay home, not go into work, and play with Baby Ellie. He often tries to dictate which parent gets to do what (i.e. bath, pouring milk, rubbing his back at night) and freaks out if we don't oblige. One day I walked into his classroom at pick-up, he looked me in the eye, pushed over the baby sitting next to him, and informed me that he pushed baby Grace onto the carpet and made her cry. WTF?!?! Sunday night he was crying / whimpering in his sleep and calling out "Mama" (he only wants Daddy these days) so I went in and rubbed his back and smoothed back his hair. Two minutes later he was snoring.
[...my heart is breaking into a million pieces...]
Timmy brought home preschool germs for the first time in a while and it's hit all of us. You know what's even more difficult than finding motivation to work after the kids are in bed? Being sick and tired and trying to find that motivation. Monday night I gave in to the chills and body aches and put myself to bed early. Last night, Ellie cried from 7:30-9:45 when normally, I put her in her crib after the bath and leave the room. Lately, she wants me all the time and will reach for me if I'm anywhere near and fuss if I leave her sight. I wish I didn't have to leave all the time.
PJO is busy at work and busy studying for the CFA exam.
The list of thank you notes to send, emails to respond to, mail to sort, bills to pay, errands to run and to-dos around the house is growing out of control.
Nothing is particularly horrible right now, I just feel like I have no control over my life and I hate that. I wish I had more time with my husband and kids and I wish I had more time to devote to work so that I could learn as much as it seems like my co-workers are learning. I wish I had, but can't even fathom having, time to work out or cook (or grocery shop) or watch TV.
I wish I could find a school that is better suited to Timmy so I don't feel like a terrible mother for dropping him off somewhere for 9-10 hours per day and I wish I knew whatever it is that is making him so sad or on edge so I could fix it (although I have a feeling I know and there's nothing I can really do).
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Gleelightful
Last weekend I went away for a girls' weekend in honor of my friend's 30th. It involved two kidless nights, dinners out, wine tasting and the spa. Wonderful.
It also involved hanging out with Matthew Morrison and his girlfriend ...they were staying at the same hotel that we were at. I can confirm that he is much taller and younger looking than you would imagine. I enjoyed asking him obnoxious questions, like "how annoying is Lea Michelle" and "why do they keep giving Quinn solos?" He told us that we could call him Matty Fresh...which I just don't think I can do, he is Mr. Schu.
Please pardon my drunken state in this picture.
It also involved hanging out with Matthew Morrison and his girlfriend ...they were staying at the same hotel that we were at. I can confirm that he is much taller and younger looking than you would imagine. I enjoyed asking him obnoxious questions, like "how annoying is Lea Michelle" and "why do they keep giving Quinn solos?" He told us that we could call him Matty Fresh...which I just don't think I can do, he is Mr. Schu.
Please pardon my drunken state in this picture.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
6 months and change
March was the busiest month in my (short) career as a lawyer and one of the many things I didn't quite get around to was writing a post for Ellie turning 6 months old. She's halfway to 7 months by now but better late than never.
Ellie,
At 6 months, the best word to describe you is fun. You are so easy going and happy. It might just be a factor of being the second child and being forced to tag along on everything the rest of us are doing from day 1, but you just fit in completely seamlessly in our day-to-day life. You have your weekday routine that involves stroller walks, naps and playtime with Grandma, but on the weekends we are out and about all day long. You sleep in the car but wake up to smile at us, talk to us and observe everything when we're out running errands or hanging out together.
You started eating solid foods around 5 1/2 months and you can't get enough. My independent girl, you want to feed yourself and often snatch the spoon in your death grip and try to take the bowl too. You started with rice cereal and then moved on to bananas, sweet potatoes, oatmeal, apples, peas and green beans. You are also almost completely on formula now and love to hold the bottle yourself. You had (and seem to still be going through) a big growth spurt. At your 6 month check up, you had jumped to the 95th percentile for height and 75th percentile for weight.
The week you turned 6 months, it was like a switch went off and you decided you would start napping in your crib. I know Grandma appreciates the little break this gives her during the week and I feel better knowing that you're getting enough sleep now. You've been a good sleeper at night for a while and I am so, so grateful for that. Every night, you and Timmy take a bath together and then you both go to sleep around 7:30 or 8. We're all up the next day by 6:30 or so.
The biggest difference we notice so far between you and Timmy is how determined you are to be on the move, into everything and part of the action. To this day, Timmy is usually content to be off in a corner somewhere reading a book or doing a puzzle. You, on the other hand, can't stand being left out. You roll across the room, pissed off that you can't make your body crawl to whatever it is that you want to get your hands on. You are constantly trying to get your hands on Timmy's toys and your general strategy is to slam your hands down hard across their surface to press any buttons that might be there, especially buttons that play music or make noise.
You started sitting up somewhere around 5 1/2 months and you're very good at it now, hardly ever falling over. Except when you do it on purpose because you want something out of reach and the only way you know of to get there is to roll over to it. Smarty pants.
Most importantly, you smile and laugh and snuggle and kiss and love. You are the best little companion a mother, father and brother could ask for. You are happy and thriving.
We love you beaner!
Mommy
At her first swimming lesson, anxious to get in the pool and sporting the cutest, dimpliest legs ever:
Ellie,
At 6 months, the best word to describe you is fun. You are so easy going and happy. It might just be a factor of being the second child and being forced to tag along on everything the rest of us are doing from day 1, but you just fit in completely seamlessly in our day-to-day life. You have your weekday routine that involves stroller walks, naps and playtime with Grandma, but on the weekends we are out and about all day long. You sleep in the car but wake up to smile at us, talk to us and observe everything when we're out running errands or hanging out together.
You started eating solid foods around 5 1/2 months and you can't get enough. My independent girl, you want to feed yourself and often snatch the spoon in your death grip and try to take the bowl too. You started with rice cereal and then moved on to bananas, sweet potatoes, oatmeal, apples, peas and green beans. You are also almost completely on formula now and love to hold the bottle yourself. You had (and seem to still be going through) a big growth spurt. At your 6 month check up, you had jumped to the 95th percentile for height and 75th percentile for weight.
The week you turned 6 months, it was like a switch went off and you decided you would start napping in your crib. I know Grandma appreciates the little break this gives her during the week and I feel better knowing that you're getting enough sleep now. You've been a good sleeper at night for a while and I am so, so grateful for that. Every night, you and Timmy take a bath together and then you both go to sleep around 7:30 or 8. We're all up the next day by 6:30 or so.
The biggest difference we notice so far between you and Timmy is how determined you are to be on the move, into everything and part of the action. To this day, Timmy is usually content to be off in a corner somewhere reading a book or doing a puzzle. You, on the other hand, can't stand being left out. You roll across the room, pissed off that you can't make your body crawl to whatever it is that you want to get your hands on. You are constantly trying to get your hands on Timmy's toys and your general strategy is to slam your hands down hard across their surface to press any buttons that might be there, especially buttons that play music or make noise.
You started sitting up somewhere around 5 1/2 months and you're very good at it now, hardly ever falling over. Except when you do it on purpose because you want something out of reach and the only way you know of to get there is to roll over to it. Smarty pants.
Most importantly, you smile and laugh and snuggle and kiss and love. You are the best little companion a mother, father and brother could ask for. You are happy and thriving.
We love you beaner!
Mommy
At her first swimming lesson, anxious to get in the pool and sporting the cutest, dimpliest legs ever:
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