Jesus is our accountant

Jim Douglass:

I remember sitting with a mortgage salesman who was telling us how quickly we could own our home. I then asked him to do the sums again taking into account the money we wanted to give to church, student ministry, overseas mission and child sponsorship. He then told us we couldn’t afford it!

• Now we are paying our mortgage off at an incredibly slow rate, but we’re supporting our local church.
• Now we only have one car, but we’re supporting university ministries around Australia.
• Now our holidays are fairly simple affairs, but we’re supporting overseas mission.
• Now we’re spending less on restaurants and clothes, but we’re helping the poor in other parts of the world.

Part of me wants more; part of me wants to give my family all the best holidays and experiences. Part of me wants the stuff that other people have.

Recently, my car mechanic gave me the “It’s-getting-old, there’s-not-much-we-can-do” talk. But Vanessa and I agreed that it’s not dead yet.

The truth is I feel the allure of fun family holidays and gadgets and a new car and gadgets and paying off our mortgage and gadgets, but our great accountant helps keep our priorities in perspective.

The gift Jesus gives us is greater than all those things, it’s the gift of contentment and the ability to say no to something good for the sake of something better.

Read the rest here.

household management (4) finances

No budget can change your motivations and choices - only the gospel can do that! - but it can help you manage your spending. Here's some things that have helped me, and other things I haven't done very well, and wish I'd been aware of years ago. With thanks to Bec, Deb, Fiona, Valori and RodeoClown.

Keep track of your spending in a budget - but do it for a reason, not just for the sake of it. Sometimes I've found a budget to be a useful tool; at other times it's been a time-waster. Use a budget to become familiar with your spending patterns so you can plan more carefully, if money is disappearing and you can't work out where, or if it helps you tighten up your spending.

When you're paid, before you spend anything:

• give money away - if they gave 10% in the Old Testament, how much more will the fullness of God's grace motivate us now!
• pay what you owe - come up with a plan and pay back a small amount each week
• pay regular, unavoidable expenses - housing, rates, car servicing, insurance, utility bills, and so on (I like Deb's idea of putting money for bills into a separate account the instant you get paid)
• save - put some money in a separate savings account (you'll draw on this for house repairs or unexpected medical bills)

Once you've done this, set aside a certain amount for household expenses (my friend puts this into a household account at the start of each week). You'll find you have two main kinds of household expenses:

• regular expenses (grocery shopping, petrol, entertainment etc.)
• occasional expenses (gifts, clothes, household items etc.)

You might choose to include both types of expenses in your household account, which will mean some careful setting aside of money for occasional expenses; or you might take the occasional expenses (e.g. bi-yearly clothes shop or Christmas gift shopping) out of your savings so you can stay in control and see how much they're costing you. Do whichever helps you spend less.

Only use a credit card if you pay it off in full each month (we do, mostly, but it means careful spending). Even better, follow my mum's advice (from a more careful time): only spend money you have. And that's after she's put some in the savings account.

If you want to work on managing or saving money, try Simple Savings or You Need a Budget.

How do you manage your money? Share your ideas here.

I'm aware I've only scratched the surface when it comes to money and budgeting, and I'm no expert. Check out the comments here for more ideas. To read about my struggles with over-spending, see these posts.

Follow this series here.

image is by Aunty Cookie (very appropriate!) from flickr

household management (3) food and shopping

Menus, groceries, errands, shopping - they're a huge part of running a household, and they can absorb huge amounts of time. Here are some ideas for managing the mayhem.

At the start of the week, plan your menu and write a shopping list. I have a collection of lists in plastic folders hanging on my notice board:

• meal ideas - all our common meal choices sorted according to type, including ones the kids like to cook listed under their names - I use this to write my weekly menu


• grocery check list - this goes around the kitchen clockwise and lists all the things we might need in each category e.g. freezer, cereal, green groceries - I use this and my menu to write my shopping list
• chores lists for me and the kids

List in hand (and not hungry) do all your weekly shopping at once - market, supermarket, green groceries. During busy times, do your grocery shopping online.

Minimise time for errands. Do them on the way to or from something else. I try to do all my errands at once (post office, kids to gym, return library books etc.) instead of going out multiple times for different things.

Limit your clothes shopping to twice a year. Go through the cupboards first and make a list of what your family really need. Set a budget. Avoid sales unless you were planning to buy clothes or household goods anyway. If you're an op-shopper, keep a list of what you need in your bag.

How do you plan your menu? How do you manage your shopping? Tell us here.

Next time, I want to talk more about finances. This is an area of struggle, not strength, for me! So if you have any suggestions for effective budgeting, saving or careful spending, share your ideas here.

You can follow this series here.

image is by Aunty Cookie from flickr

how we change (10) what stops you changing?

You might remember last year's series on change. I blogged my way through 6 chapters of Tim Chester's You Can Change, and we talked about grace, legalism, and how to identify our false beliefs and idols. Today my series (finally!) continues with a post on how not to change ...

I'm an expert on how not to change.

For over 10 years, over-spending was my besetting sin. I woke in the dark, sick to the stomach about my spending, and lay there creating elaborate plans for change that I never followed. Every conversation with my prayer-partners was peppered with confession. I sat in church and cried because I wasn't making any progress.

So what stopped me changing? Here's Tim Chester's list of proven ways not to change.

1. Proud self-reliance

We're often more interested in our personal victory over sin than in pleasing God. We're mad at ourselves because we keep sinning. At the root of this is the belief that we can - or should - be strong enough to overcome our sin!

Proud perfectionist that I am, this sums me up nicely. But 10 year's struggling with the same sin brought me to the end of myself. At this point there are only two steps to take:

If you're frustrated at your inability to change, then your first step is to give up - to give up on yourself. Repent of your self-reliance and self-confidence. Your second step is to rejoice in God's grace: his grace to forgive and his grace to transform.

I had to despair of myself. I had to realise I was never going to get it right. I had to stop relying on my own programs for change. I also had to realise that there is a cure for despair: God's grace. God really does forgive me, and he really does promise to change me!

2. Proud self-justification

Excusing sin

I felt defeated by my sin. I felt overcome, helpless, despairing. I never dreamt I was excusing my sin. But that's exactly what I was doing:

When I say I am defeated by some sin, I am unconsciously slipping out from under my responsibility. I am saying something outside of me has defeated me. But when I say I am disobedient, that places the responsibility for my sin squarely on me. We may, in fact, be defeated, but the reason we are defeated is because we have chosen to disobey.*

Minimizing sin

"True repentance grieves over sin; it never minimizes it." I'm not sure I minimized my over-spending - my heart was grieved by it (although perhaps not for the right reason, as we'll see). But these days, when my over-spending is more intermittent, I easily ignore it - and fall into old patterns of sin.

Hiding sin

"It is one thing to make a resolution; it is something completely different to repent, diligently seek counsel, and, in concert with others, develop a plan that is concrete and Christ-centred."* ... Are you confessing your sin to a trusted Christian? ... Have you told those, such as your spouse, who are affected by your sin?

I was always open about my sin, which won't surprise any readers of this blog! But I think my honesty was actually a way to keep others at arms' length (because if I accuse myself, you won't have to). My honesty wasn't really a way to seek help to develop a plan for change. I remember a friend saying, "Why don't you just get rid of your credit card?" I squirmed uncomfortably and ignored her advice. Which leads us to the next point ...

3. Hating the consequences of sin, but not the sin itself.

Often, we don't change because we don't really want to. ... We often want to change the consequences of sin, but not the sin itself. ... People ask me to help them sort out the mess of their lives, but they don't really want to change the behaviour that's creating the mess. ... We need to be violent with sin. If we hold back, it's almost certainly because we don't want to be violent towards something we still love.

Yes, that was me! I wanted to avoid the consequences of sin without having to avoid sin. Although in my case it was the consequences of sin - a very large credit card debt - that forced me to change. At this point, I would have done anything! I cut off the things I loved: I kept out of shops when possible, and bought nothing unnecessary for months, until spending was no longer a habit.

I still struggle with besetting sins (don't we all!). I'm still tempted to despair when I can't seem to change. But if God helped me overcome 10 years' addiction to spending, he can help me with anything. So I move forward with greater confidence, knowing - from personal experience! - that there is hope for change. I can look back on yesterday's failures knowing I'm forgiven, and I can step into today knowing that God is transforming me through his grace.

All quotes are from chapter 7 of Tim Chester's You Can Change; asterisked quotes are cited in this chapter, and are by Jerry Bridges and Ed Welch; emphases are mine.

images are from stock.xchng except for third image which is by baking_in_pearls from flickr

lead us not into (Christmas) temptation

The side mirror on our car got smashed last week. Okay, okay, I admit it - I smashed the mirror reversing into our slightly opened gate. I think it was the wind's fault for blowing the gate open. Or mine for not noticing. Whatever.

There are things about this time of year that really aren't good for me. I mostly avoid shops, because that's the only effective strategy I've found to overcome a ten year addiction to spending. I go to department stores twice a year, once for winter clothes for the family and once for summer clothes. That keeps me safely out of the way of temptation.

Except for at Christmas time.

I can resist temptation during the first Christmas shopping trip. By the second trip, and certainly by the third, shopping gets under my skin. Things I wouldn't have dreamed of buying a week ago suddenly seem perfectly reasonable at the price. I buy things we don't need and don't really want. The pile of gifts under the tree gets larger.

It's an odd way to celebrate the birth of the One who gave up everything and made himself nothing, who exchanged his riches for our poverty, so that he could give his life for us (Phil 2:5-11).

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was heading south to buy a new side mirror for the car the other day. I was aware that en route was a shopping centre where I'd seen a very cute jacket that my son didn't need. My wheels were about to turn towards the shopping centre, until I realised that somehow I'd passed the turn-off - one I'd never missed before. I comforted myself with the thought that I still had time to go to the shops on the way home.

I found myself wandering through the wilds of an unfamiliar suburb, fathoms deep in bumper-to-bumper traffic, lost on the wrong part of the map, trying to find the Toyota parts shop. After three quarters of an hour of increasing tension - I was running late for a school pick-up - I found the shop down an obscure side street, bought the mirror, and drove to school with no time to spare for a detour to the shops.

And that's how God used heavy traffic and a misread map - of all things! - to keep me from a choice I knew to be sinful.

One small example of God's severe mercy. One thing not bought that we didn't really need. One sinful habit unfed, at least on this occasion, and growing that little bit weaker in consequence. One tiny taste of my heavenly Father's loving discipline (Heb 12:7-11). One renewed commitment to spend less on us and more on others. One answered prayer - a prayer I hope to be praying again in 11 months time:

Our Father in Heaven, lead us not into (Christmas) temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (Matt 6:9, 13)

Amen.

images are from wockerjabby and Fabi Dorighello at flickr

online meanderings: self-control

Here's a quick guide to my posts, other people's posts, and some talks and books on self-control:

Some general posts on the subject:

1. 15 things I've learned about self-control
2. John MacArthur with some excellent tips for self discipline

Some posts on self-control and managing our thoughts and emotions:

1. how to fight for joy
2. self-control: thoughts and feelings
3. Nicole's discussion of Carolyn Mahaney's chapter on self-control in Feminine Appeal

My posts on self-control and spending:

1. my opening post - the attack of the killer credit card
2. a follow-up - the attack of the killer credit card continues
3. reflections on hard-won self-control - the joy of Christmas (shopping)
4. some recent reflections on self-control and spending - online meanderings: self-control and spending

My series on dieting and gluttony:

1. the day I went on a diet and decided to write about this topic - is dieting Christian
2. some unhelpful approaches to dieting - the bizarre and the beautiful
3. where I ask myself whether the Bible word "self-control" relates to food - in search of self-control
4. where I learn what the Bible teaches about food, gluttony and moderation - what God says about food (a), (b) and (c) (and some musings on moderation)
5. quotes on gluttony, dieting and self-control by Os Guiness, C.S.Lewis, Richard Gibson, Graham Tomlin, Henry Fairlie, Jerry Bridges, Carolyn Mahaney and John Piper
6. where I talk about the effect this series has had on my own attitude to gluttony and dieting - my experience
7. my review of Elyse Fitzpatrick's Love to Eat, Hate to Eat

Still on the topic of gluttony and dieting, I really appreciated these honest, thoughtful posts by other bloggers:

1. Heather on self-control, gluttony and dieting
2. Sophie on choosing godliness over being thin
3. Cathy on fighting desire disorder

Some other posts on self-control:

1. Noel Piper on bossiness
2. Nicole on gossip
3. Nicole on spiritual disciplines

Talks:

1. Carolyn Mahaney on self-control
2. Crystal Muson on gluttony (I haven't heard this one, just going on Heather's recommendation)

Books:

1. on gluttony and dieting - Elyse Fitzpatrick's Love to Eat, Hate to Eat
2. chapters on gluttony and dieting - see excerpts from Os Guiness, C.S.Lewis, Richard Gibson, Graham Tomlin, Henry Fairlie
3. chapters on self-control - see excerpts from Jerry Bridges, Carolyn Mahaney
4. on how eating affects our ability to glorify and enjoy God - see excerpt from John Piper

online meanderings: self-control and shopping

The topic of the moment seems to be self-control.

Not necessarily a popular topic! And what exactly does it mean? The Greek word sophron, often translated "self-control" in Titus 2:3-5, means level-headed, discrete, prudent, sober, sensible, sound minded, and thoughtful.*

Jerry Bridges puts it well:

Self-control is the exercise of inner strength, under the direction of sound judgement, that enables us to do, think, and say the things that are pleasing to God.

Last Thursday, I read Nicole's Equip Books post about the chapter on self-control in Carolyn Mahaney's Feminine Appeal. And last weekend, as I continue working my way through Mahaney's talk series on Titus 2:3-5, I listened to her talk on self-control.

It gave me a timely kick in the pants. I think we sometimes fail to call sin "sin". It becomes so very familiar to us, and the effort to fight it just seems too hard. I think I've given up a bit on the battle with gluttony; my decision to rise early to pray has only just resurfaced after a run of winter illnesses; and the struggle for self-control in my blogging and computer use is a continual battle.

But you'll notice, in Nicole's post and the comments, that there was some concern that Carolyn Mahaney didn't address self-control and shopping in her book, although she does touch on it in her talk. (Of course, there are many other areas demanding self-control - gossip, bossiness, spiritual disciplines, etc. - and she couldn't cover them all.)

Long-term readers of this blog may recall my early posts on shopping. One of my very first posts was the attack of the killer credit card, followed by the attack of the killer credit card continues, and concluded with the joy of Christmas (shopping). In June this year, reflecting on the battle, I shared 15 lessons I've learnt about self-control.

Well, I went shopping the other day. And I found that instead of filling me with temptation, the glut of products displayed on hundreds of shelves, enticingly arranged to attract wealthy first-worlders and their over-indulged children, filled me with repulsion. Which goes to show, in negative as well as positive ways, how the practice of self-control transforms our way of seeing.

Of course, now I have to struggle with the opposite temptation: to put off trips to the shops indefinitely, way past the point where my children need new socks and school pants. But I've learnt to take a detailed list on my bi-annual trips to the shops for children's clothes, and I'm even learning to stick to it.

Let's not overstate things. I still lose many a struggle with my conscience when I'm facing yet another stand of "cheap" stocking fillers at the supermarket (can't avoid supermarket shopping, can you?!). And buying books on the internet has led to a few major downfalls.

I'm still a work in progress: but there's hope, because God is the one working in me. I hold on to his promise, that "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6).

* In the small print in this post on self-control, you'll find my explanation of the various words translated "self-control" in the New Testament.

the faith that comes from obedience

I have a beautiful thing, a mug with an oddly curved handle. It is the perfect size, the perfect weight, the perfect shape for my morning coffee. It is patterned with a delicately stylised tracery of leaves and flowers.

It has a chip on its rim.

Six months ago I would have noticed the sharpness against my lips and been irritated. Not just by the jarring sensation of roughness where I expected smoothness, but also by the fact that my perfect mug's perfection was now blemished. I would have made a mental note to go and buy another perfect mug to replace the damaged one.

But today I noticed the chip and, instead of being an imperfection, it became a symbol of value. An indication that I have treasured this lovely object, that it has been used many times and bears the signs of cherished age, that it is more beautiful for having been loved.

And I realised how insidiously our disposable culture - where a damaged object can be instantly and cheaply replaced with a quick trip to the shops, rather than mended and used again and again - teaches us to value that which is new, young and perfect over that which is old, worn and restored. A devaluing of the aged which is subtly transferred to people as well as objects.

I also noticed the changes that the practice of self-control has wrought in me. How something as simple as not buying new things for half a year has transformed the way I see the world. How an object which was once worthless and only fit for throwing out has become something to treasure. How what was once a difficult struggle for obedience has become a joyful freedom.

Obedience not only comes from faith, it also reinforces faith. Enacted truth, it helps us see God's truth more clearly. It creates a subtle shift in perspective. It remakes the world in new and startling ways. We begin to see the world as God sees it.

Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32

the joy of Christmas (shopping)

Last week I went to the shops for my second (and last) extended session of Christmas shopping, a necessary annual re-entry into the world of spending, after 6 months of very little spending as I attempt to pay back our credit card debt.

As I wandered aimlessly back and forth along the aisles of Greensborough Shopping Plaza, I could feel the soporific spending state creeping over me once more, induced by the hermetically sealed, climate controlled, bewildering world of the modern shopping mall, deliberately created for maximum loss of control.

I could sense the subtle pull from within and without: "Come on...it's not that much...the kids will love it...you bought one last year...they'll be disappointed if you don't buy it this year...it's on sale...go on, buy just one more, it will be useful..." I was encouraged that I managed to resist the siren call, with 1 or 2 exceptions. What was at first a struggle has finally become a way of life.

So what have I learnt so far? I look back on 6 months of spending less than I have spent over a similar period for many years, and realise that lower spending has become habitual. I no longer feel like rewarding myself, as I did earlier, with that one thing I've always wanted once the debt has been paid off. In fact, the idea of buying expensive things I don't need has (at least for now) become slightly repellent.

After 15 years of battling the temptation to over-spend, I no longer expect it to go away just because I don't feel tempted right now. I know from many, many bitter experiences how quickly a mood of over-confidence can be overtaken by a bout of helpless spending. I know that, like an alcoholic at their most clichéd, I will live with this temptation for the rest of my life. I will always have to be careful.

And knowing how easily I am still tempted, I will persist with my main strategies. I'll continue to avoid shops whenever I can, preferring the quick grab to the long, slow shop. I'll keep boycotting catalogues, and buy items at full price, not on sale, if it means only visiting the shops once (better $20 more for 1 full-price item we need than $200 for 6 sale items we don't need).

Above all, I'll continue to resist the unspoken assumption that I have a right to regularly buy new things. I no longer budget a generous amount for the kids' and my personal spending each week - in fact, this has probably been the most effective change I have made this year.

They say it takes 28 days to form a habit. Well, I now know it takes 3 months to produce a mood of over-confidence, 4 months to reach a state of discouragement, and 6 months of slow, hard slog to create a new lifestyle. And the rest of my life to live it, with God's help.

a divine wink

Have you ever had one of those moments when you feel like God has tipped you a divine wink?

As you know if you've been reading this blog, I've been working very hard on my godliness when it comes to greed and over-spending. An overloaded credit card has provided the impetus, but the main motivation is to learn to obey God in my use of money. So there are many small moments when I resist the temptation to buy something we don't really need.

The other day I saw a little book in the newsagent with clever home hints about removing difficult stains. Having recently fought a prolonged battle with rust on Lizzy's white pants, I noted the cheap price, and had a look inside, but thought "I could save the money and look this information up on the internet" so didn't buy it. Another tiny victory in the battle with self.

Well, the time has arrived for Christmas raffles at school and kinder. You know the ones: where you pay $10 for 10 tickets and watch as huge baskets of goodies are handed out to other families, in yet another Christmas moment of generous giving (don't worry, I am going somewhere with this).

When we don't win a prize, I'm disappointed for the kids, but slightly relieved myself. What do people do with all those miniature Christmas puddings, Santa teatowels, and packets of shortbread? Last year at our school, one family staggered home with first and second prize, including an entire laundry basket full of stuff to add to their waistlines and give to friends and relatives to share the joy of extra padding.

We've never won anything apart from a small Easter basket containing a chocolate bunny and a pink stuffed rabbit when Lizzy was in kinder. So I was surprised and pleased when Thomas' name was pulled out at the kinder Christmas party today, and he won third prize, a basket of goodies large enough to be exciting but not obscenely huge.

We're waiting until the older kids get home to plunder it, but I've peeked through the cellophane (who could resist?) Imagine my surprise when, among the chocolate Santas, Christmas mugs, lolly-filled plastic candy canes and M&M alarm clocks, I saw a small, thin blue volume called Super Stain Remover, a rather unlikely inclusion in a Christmas hamper.

A reminder that God gave us, his miniature images, our sense of humour; that his care for us is kind, tender and gentle; that his providence is an excellent example of micro management; and that he loves to encourage us to keep going in our quest for godliness. And a tiny reflection of the sparkle of joy in the universe.

the attack of the killer credit card continues...

We left the last installment of that exciting saga aaargh! I've maxed my credit card! with me lying helpless on the floor, under ruthless attack from a red plastic rectangle. At that point I was struggling to pay back a credit card debt which had reached epic proportions 4 months earlier. Nearly 2 months later the battle continues.

Like the horrified viewer of an action movie, I've been observing with fascination the various stages of my 6 month battle. The opening scene, as in every good James Bond movie, began with the first horrified glimpse of the villain ("We owe HOW much?") followed by a riveting action sequence in which no quarter was given to the enemy (a month of extreme parsimony - "Lollies? No, we can't afford lollies! We need to pay back our debt!")

As every dedicated movie viewer knows, at this point the villain apparently disappears, stunned by the ferocity of the attack, leading to a burst of fatal over-confidence on the part of the hero: me. Weeks of self-control and an annual government tax payout enabled much of the debt to be paid off, leading to confident promises of rewards to self. ("When this is over - soon! - I'm going to buy that expensive item I've always wanted!") As my father dryly observed, getting into more debt is a funny way to celebrate getting out of debt, but it all seemed so easy.

But the one thing you must never do when dealing with an enemy is to turn your back. For like every good movie villain, my nemesis was biding his time, waiting for the moment when I let down my guard to attack with renewed vigour. At about the 3 month mark, there was a week or so of over-spending on unnecessary Christmas presents for the kids, at which point I realised that the battle may not be so easy after all.

We now reach the inevitable moment when the villain has regained the advantage, and has the hero tied down helplessly while he threatens him with assorted weaponry. The particularly perceptive reader may have noticed the subtle air of despair which permeated my earlier blog ("They're red. They're rectangular. They're deadly.") When I wrote this, about 4 months into the battle, the debt had crept up again, and I was despairing of ever being able to pay it back.

Two months later, and the villain and the hero remain locked in combat. For at the 6 month mark - that's right about now - I am still struggling to pay back the last portion of our debt. Dollar by discouragingly small dollar, it has crept gradually down, then up again thanks to the inevitability of Christmas, then hopefully down again in the months ahead.

Of course, you all know what the final scene is supposed to look like. It's a vicious, bloody, protracted action sequence, culminating in the moment when the hero finally prevails, destroying his opponent once and for all. More agonizingly long weeks of resistance and self-control until that moment when my debt is finally paid off, never (we hope!) to be seen again.

But how will the story end? Like the most ruthless of action heroes, will I take a pair of scissors to my red, rectangular, plastic enemy, ignoring its pleas for mercy ("but you need me! what will you do without me?") and cut it into tiny pieces, destroying it once and for all?

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment.

aaargh! I've maxed my credit card!

Actually I haven't, but I got your attention, didn't I?

If you know me better than Jocelyn Sinclair (you know, she's minister of health in Dyslexia) then you will realise I have a long-term issue with spending more than we can afford. At least you will if:
a) you have ever been to one of my seminars;
b) we have ever talked about things we're struggling with;
c) we've ever talked about pretty much anything, actually.
As you may have realised by now, I'm a self-revelation kind of girl.

I have spent (no pun intended) the second half of this year climbing - one homebrand product at a time - out of the financial pit I dug for myself (and my endlessly patient husband) in the first half of this year, during a series of bad spending choices of such insignificance that I can't even remember them.

I have learnt how hard it is to maintain the initial impetous of that "aaargh!" moment when you look at your credit card bill, and realise that the total has passed your personal comfort levels (fairly high, in my case - it's amazing what habit can accustom you to.)

If there is any one possession I would gladly relinquish (and it has taken me many, many years of soul-searching to reach this point) it is that little piece of contoured red plastic snazzily designed by Virgin. I have visions of cutting it into tiny pieces and throwing it into a pit of super-heated fire (I've thought about this a lot, haven't I?) and running away at top speed (i.e. not all that fast) only to turn and find that, like the Terminator (haven't seen that movie? you're so young/old/female) it has pieced itself back together and is still following me... with a sub-machine gun.

No other object in my life has been responsible for so much temptation, sin, misery, guilt, self-recrimination, doubt, sleepless nights, and broken promises (to self, that is, I don't make the other kind any more).

So why haven't I done like Jesus said and cut it up and thrown it away? Well, I've been extremely cunning at avoiding this moment for many years, trusting rather in clever financial plans which never eventuated (perhaps if I shuffled my bank accounts around?) or in my own self-control (amazing how you can continue to believe in something so obviously lacking).

Meanwhile the bank rings me every couple of weeks and offers yet another increase in the top limit on our credit card (after all, I am one of their best customers, just look at all that interest we've paid.) Just think, you could buy yet more things you can't afford, with money you don't have! Your own personal ticket to greed and financial ruin!

If you have one, cut it up now! If you don't, never get one! Or you may find it following you with a hatchet, like some B-grade horror flick: "Attack of the killer..." (They're red. They're rectangular. They're deadly.)

(Of course, this may not be a temptation for you, in which case by all means keep the plastic for convenience and security, just remember what I said when you lie screaming on the ground with a chainsaw raised over you...)