My post-law school plans are officially in limbo again. I had planned on starting at the firm in the fall a few months after the bar exam. In the past, they've given incoming associates the choice of starting in September, October or November. As long as you started before December 1st, you would keep your standing in the class. I knew with the bad economy, my start date would likely be pushed back, and I was ok with that. I figured more time with Timmy couldn't be bad. At the same time, I would have been ok with them telling us we had to start in September. I feel ready for my career to begin and could use the money.
That was then. Now, I have two choices:
1. Start working at the end of 2009. Supposedly work is slowly but surely picking back up. I'm sure there still won't be much corporate work to go around, but it sounds like they think they'd have enough work to keep us employed. (we don't have to pick a department until our third year of working).
2. Defer starting until fall of 2010 and take a stipend (roughly 45% of what my salary would be). Upon starting, I would be a stub-associate, i.e. 1 year behind the people I summered with.
Maybe it's because the shock still hasn't worn off, but I feel really (and surprisingly) conflicted about what to do. It seems like a year of free money (and to some extent it is), but there is a little more to it than that.
I'm not sure what I would do for that extra year. The idea is that we'll take jobs doing pro-bono work or volunteer for something, but we're not obligated to do anything. In the words of the Recruiting Committee partner, we can sit on a beach for 12 months, they don't care. I could just stay home with Timmy, but if the economy hasn't improved, that's an empty year on my resume in probably the most crowded market for legal jobs ever. If I take on some pro bono type job, I have to figure out child care, which will probably be too expensive once I have to start paying back student loans. Of course there is the best case scenario that I could get another paid job. I have kind of wanted to try out wills and estate planning, which isn't really a big-firm practice area, so this could be a good opportunity to do it if there is a job available.
There is also the uncertainty of how either choice will affect my career. If I start in 2009, I may have work, but it's likely not the kind of work I would want to build my career on. If I start in 2010, presumably there will be more finance, corporate and tax work, but there will also be many more associates trying to get work (current 2Ls and 3Ls).
I'm leaning towards deferring because it just seems like a once-in-a-lifetime offer. Theoretically, I could do ANYTHING in that year off. PJO could look for a job in Hawaii or Europe or Aspen. I could spend as much time as my heart desires with Timmy until he's 22 months old, much more time than I had anticipated. More than anything though, I want to do what's best for me and my family.
I am feeling so grateful that my job is still open for me (at least for the moment). With so much turmoil in the legal world and so many people being laid off (including at my future firm), I am kind of dumbfounded by my lucky timing. The class ahead of me was fair game for layoffs. The class below me has a much harder summer and job prospect facing them. Beyond that general timing, I'm so blessed that this choice is coming to me so soon after having a baby. If there's anyone that such a deferral program could benefit, it's probably me. My heart goes out to all the people who have lost their jobs and are looking now.
So ... what would you do?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
average height, above average intelligence and weight, superhuman beauty
Timmy passed his check-up today with flying colors!
The nurse said to Timmy, "let's see how tall you are" and put him next to the measuring tape. "oh, you are tall! 23 inches." (50th percentile)
Then she said "let's see how smart you are" and measured his head. "Oh, you are very smart! 16 and 3/4 in." (95th perctentile)
Finally, she said "You're huge, let's see how much you weigh" and put him on the scale. "oh, wow...hmm ... eh ... (adjusting the weight) ... yep! 15 lbs!" (oh geez, that's how much someone twice your age weighs!)
Timmy let out a big sigh of relief ... made it!
oh, what's that you say?
SHOTS?!!
Luckily, he pulled through like a champ ... with a little help from a pacifier and super cool band-aids
The nurse said to Timmy, "let's see how tall you are" and put him next to the measuring tape. "oh, you are tall! 23 inches." (50th percentile)
Then she said "let's see how smart you are" and measured his head. "Oh, you are very smart! 16 and 3/4 in." (95th perctentile)
Finally, she said "You're huge, let's see how much you weigh" and put him on the scale. "oh, wow...hmm ... eh ... (adjusting the weight) ... yep! 15 lbs!" (oh geez, that's how much someone twice your age weighs!)
Timmy let out a big sigh of relief ... made it!
oh, what's that you say?
SHOTS?!!
Luckily, he pulled through like a champ ... with a little help from a pacifier and super cool band-aids
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Happy Two Months Baby!
Timothy,
Can you believe it's already been two whole months since you entered the world? Can you believe it's only been two months since you completely changed our lives? You have grown and changed so much, you're not the same baby we met on Christmas day, but we love this new you more and more all the time.
When we first brought you home, we were definitely in love, but taking care of you was sort of mechanical... we fed you, changed you, put you down to sleep, and then started all over again. Somewhere around 5 or 6 weeks, you seemed to become a real, actual person. You had a ton of awake time during the day in which you soaked up the world around you.
Things you like now: You love being read to, especially "What Does Baby See," "Where the Wild Things Are" and "Goodnight Moon." You seem to like it when we sing to you, maybe Dad more than me. Perhaps that is because you don't appreciate my sarcastic lyrics about you pooping or crying or something. You "talk" to us all the time now, cooing, giggling, smiling and grunting. Your eyes light up when you see toys dangling, rattles shaking or the cats walk by. If we put the mobile in your crib on, you pump your arms and kick your legs like you're running a sprint. Bath time was always a happy time for you, but now it's especially fun because you like to splash and get water everywhere! Most days we go for a walk in the stroller, but you're starting to like the Bjorn carrier more. These are almost guaranteed to make you happy, especially if there are buses, trucks and construction near by. Probably your favorite activity of all time is eating. You know when you're about to get fed, and you start breathing fast, opening your eyes wide and moving your lips in anticipation.
The whole family is starting to settle into a routine now, and that is nice. You generally sleep 8-9 hours at night, waking up once to eat. Sometimes you add on a nap before or after that and then one during the afternoon. Our very favorite time with you is when you wake up in the morning. You are all smiles and laughs then, just happy to be hanging out. Bedtime is a close second, because we snuggle with you when you're freshly bathed and have that delicious baby smell. We read you stories and sometimes we'll even feel your body start to relax as you drift off to sleep before we put you in your crib.
The cliche is true, you are growing up way too fast. You sort of have a friar tuck hairline right now, as the newborn hair is slowly replaced by your new hair. Your eyes are still blue, but I have a feeling that will change. Pretty much everyone agrees that you look like Dad, but I'm sure that could change too. We have an entire tupperware container filled with your newborn and 3 months clothes. I have a feeling the 3-6 month outfits will be joining them soon. And you look like a little boy, barely even a baby. I already miss the way you were when you were born. Luckily for me, you keep getting better and more lovable. Daddy and I are so excited to see how much you'll change over the next two months.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy
Can you believe it's already been two whole months since you entered the world? Can you believe it's only been two months since you completely changed our lives? You have grown and changed so much, you're not the same baby we met on Christmas day, but we love this new you more and more all the time.
When we first brought you home, we were definitely in love, but taking care of you was sort of mechanical... we fed you, changed you, put you down to sleep, and then started all over again. Somewhere around 5 or 6 weeks, you seemed to become a real, actual person. You had a ton of awake time during the day in which you soaked up the world around you.
Things you like now: You love being read to, especially "What Does Baby See," "Where the Wild Things Are" and "Goodnight Moon." You seem to like it when we sing to you, maybe Dad more than me. Perhaps that is because you don't appreciate my sarcastic lyrics about you pooping or crying or something. You "talk" to us all the time now, cooing, giggling, smiling and grunting. Your eyes light up when you see toys dangling, rattles shaking or the cats walk by. If we put the mobile in your crib on, you pump your arms and kick your legs like you're running a sprint. Bath time was always a happy time for you, but now it's especially fun because you like to splash and get water everywhere! Most days we go for a walk in the stroller, but you're starting to like the Bjorn carrier more. These are almost guaranteed to make you happy, especially if there are buses, trucks and construction near by. Probably your favorite activity of all time is eating. You know when you're about to get fed, and you start breathing fast, opening your eyes wide and moving your lips in anticipation.
The whole family is starting to settle into a routine now, and that is nice. You generally sleep 8-9 hours at night, waking up once to eat. Sometimes you add on a nap before or after that and then one during the afternoon. Our very favorite time with you is when you wake up in the morning. You are all smiles and laughs then, just happy to be hanging out. Bedtime is a close second, because we snuggle with you when you're freshly bathed and have that delicious baby smell. We read you stories and sometimes we'll even feel your body start to relax as you drift off to sleep before we put you in your crib.
The cliche is true, you are growing up way too fast. You sort of have a friar tuck hairline right now, as the newborn hair is slowly replaced by your new hair. Your eyes are still blue, but I have a feeling that will change. Pretty much everyone agrees that you look like Dad, but I'm sure that could change too. We have an entire tupperware container filled with your newborn and 3 months clothes. I have a feeling the 3-6 month outfits will be joining them soon. And you look like a little boy, barely even a baby. I already miss the way you were when you were born. Luckily for me, you keep getting better and more lovable. Daddy and I are so excited to see how much you'll change over the next two months.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Mardi Gras
In honor of Fat Tuesday:
Greasy Chinese food and beer
Baby Cupcakes
and a FAT baby
I think I'll give up Starbucks for Lent. It will be difficult. On my dairy-free diet, nothing makes a morning complete like a vanilla soy latte. I guess it's supposed to be difficult, probably so that I'll feel the Catholic guilt when I inevitably fail.
Greasy Chinese food and beer
Baby Cupcakes
and a FAT baby
I think I'll give up Starbucks for Lent. It will be difficult. On my dairy-free diet, nothing makes a morning complete like a vanilla soy latte. I guess it's supposed to be difficult, probably so that I'll feel the Catholic guilt when I inevitably fail.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Candy and Popcorn
It's time to go see some movies.
Remember how I said that I don't really watch them and have no pop culture knowledge? Well, I haven't seen any of the movies nominated and that makes it kind of hard to get into the Oscars. But I watched anyway, and now I want to see all those movies. This might take a while since I either need a babysitter or a patient 2 month old, so does anyone have suggestions on which movies to start with? I'm thinking Milk...
I can count on one hand the movies I have seen in the theater over the past year: Juno, Burn After Reading, Sex and the City, and He's Just Not That Into You. Hmmm, not exactly intellectually stimulating...but entertaining nonetheless!
Remember how I said that I don't really watch them and have no pop culture knowledge? Well, I haven't seen any of the movies nominated and that makes it kind of hard to get into the Oscars. But I watched anyway, and now I want to see all those movies. This might take a while since I either need a babysitter or a patient 2 month old, so does anyone have suggestions on which movies to start with? I'm thinking Milk...
I can count on one hand the movies I have seen in the theater over the past year: Juno, Burn After Reading, Sex and the City, and He's Just Not That Into You. Hmmm, not exactly intellectually stimulating...but entertaining nonetheless!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Place Your Bets
Timothy's 2 month check up is this Thursday, and we're wagering on what his stats will be. PJO and I have made our guesses, what are yours?
Weight: He was 9 lbs, 9 oz. at birth, 10 lbs at 2 weeks, 13 pounds at just under 6 weeks. My guess is 15 lbs, 4 oz.; PJO's guess is 14 lbs, 12 oz.
Length: He was 20.5 inches long at birth... I'm guessing 23.5 inches? Actually, I have no idea, but he seems much longer.
A week ago, we officially made the switch to Size 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes. Before long, he's going to outgrow his infant carseat. Another development to note, my biceps are becoming diesel.
Look at these cankles
Weight: He was 9 lbs, 9 oz. at birth, 10 lbs at 2 weeks, 13 pounds at just under 6 weeks. My guess is 15 lbs, 4 oz.; PJO's guess is 14 lbs, 12 oz.
Length: He was 20.5 inches long at birth... I'm guessing 23.5 inches? Actually, I have no idea, but he seems much longer.
A week ago, we officially made the switch to Size 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes. Before long, he's going to outgrow his infant carseat. Another development to note, my biceps are becoming diesel.
Look at these cankles
Thursday, February 19, 2009
My Healthy Boobs
Breastfeeding has gone surprisingly well, and most days I love it. Every once in a while, I think about how I can't wait to eat and drink whatever I want, wear a regular bra, sleep at night while PJO feeds Timmy and go one hour without leaking like a cow.
On those days, I'm just going to remind myself of this:
this is just me selfishly clinging to a passing phase of infancy, when I was all he needed in the world, when I truly got to be his everything. When I could see his rolly thighs and those numbers on the scale and proudly think: Me! All me! I did that! He used to be a zygote and now! LOOK AT WHAT MY BODY CAN DO! (thumps chest, swaggers away, awwwyeah)
.....
But. I've loved nursing this baby. ...I love his face when he knows he's going to eat -- big eyes, open mouth, excited breathing and arm flailing. I love how he sighs contentedly after a few swallows. How he looks up at me with wide, adoring eyes. How he takes a break to smile at me right before nuzzling back against me. I love how, when he's really good and hungry and I'm taking too long for his liking, he lets out a squawky, impatient shriek. When I think about everything I have done with with only one hand over the past four months -- phone calls, bills, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, this very entry -- I laugh, and I love it.
I know it's not something I'll probably ever talk to him about -- what young man wants to hear about breastfeeding from their mother, oh my goooood -- so I'm very cheesily treasuring and relishing this relationship for now, for as long as I can. I wanted to do this for him, but never reaized how much it would be for me, too.
I mean, I didn't even know I felt this way until I read her post. And then a light bulb went off and I thought to myself "Yes! What she said!" Now I can see that how I feel about breastfeeding is the same way I feel about Timmy's whole infancy... I want to soak up every fleeting minute of it so that I never look back and wish I just enjoyed it more. Part of me thinks that I can always just enjoy it with the next kid, but you can't ever really be sure what the future holds, so just live in the moment. And that's what I am going to do.
Milk Induced Coma:
The Milk Belly, in full effect:
On those days, I'm just going to remind myself of this:
this is just me selfishly clinging to a passing phase of infancy, when I was all he needed in the world, when I truly got to be his everything. When I could see his rolly thighs and those numbers on the scale and proudly think: Me! All me! I did that! He used to be a zygote and now! LOOK AT WHAT MY BODY CAN DO! (thumps chest, swaggers away, awwwyeah)
.....
But. I've loved nursing this baby. ...I love his face when he knows he's going to eat -- big eyes, open mouth, excited breathing and arm flailing. I love how he sighs contentedly after a few swallows. How he looks up at me with wide, adoring eyes. How he takes a break to smile at me right before nuzzling back against me. I love how, when he's really good and hungry and I'm taking too long for his liking, he lets out a squawky, impatient shriek. When I think about everything I have done with with only one hand over the past four months -- phone calls, bills, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, this very entry -- I laugh, and I love it.
I know it's not something I'll probably ever talk to him about -- what young man wants to hear about breastfeeding from their mother, oh my goooood -- so I'm very cheesily treasuring and relishing this relationship for now, for as long as I can. I wanted to do this for him, but never reaized how much it would be for me, too.
I mean, I didn't even know I felt this way until I read her post. And then a light bulb went off and I thought to myself "Yes! What she said!" Now I can see that how I feel about breastfeeding is the same way I feel about Timmy's whole infancy... I want to soak up every fleeting minute of it so that I never look back and wish I just enjoyed it more. Part of me thinks that I can always just enjoy it with the next kid, but you can't ever really be sure what the future holds, so just live in the moment. And that's what I am going to do.
Milk Induced Coma:
The Milk Belly, in full effect:
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
It's Always About Money
I really, really love living in southern California. It's beautiful, has perfect weather and it has mountains, beaches, dessert and big cities. Like I've said before, the only problem with it (in my view) is that it's too expensive to live here. In terms of buying property, any decent 2 bedroom condo in our town is at least $650K and you cannot buy an actual house (i.e. with land) for less than $1 million. Not exactly young-family friendly.
While this is certainly a problem, it doesn't render it prohibitively expensive to live here because we rent an apartment and are just saving really slowly to buy a place. But soon there will be lots of new problems. The State is currently trying to pass a budget to deal with its own deficit ... $42 BILLION. And guess how they plan to fix it? By taxing everyone more. OF COURSE! BRILLIANT!
I like what this article has to say about it all:
It's sad to watch. The Golden State -- which a decade ago was the booming technology capital of the world -- has been done in by two decades of chronic overspending, overregulating and a hyperprogressive tax code that exaggerates the impact on state revenues of economic boom and bust. Total state expenditures have grown to $145 billion in 2008 from $104 billion in 2003 and California now has the worst credit rating in the nation -- worse even than Louisiana's. It also has the nation's fourth highest unemployment rate of 9.3% (after Michigan, Rhode Island and South Carolina) and the second highest home foreclosure rate (after Nevada)
The media is painting the Republicans in the state senate as evil and menacing, gleefully foiling the Democrats in their honorable battle to pass a budget compromise. But the sound bytes say it all... One dissenter said something along the lines of "I am strongly against raising taxes to generate revenue, especially in a recession. The way to bridge the gap in the budget is to cut spending." Hmmm, that sounds ... logical! Arnold Schwarzenegger is in office because Gray Davis was recalled for damaging California's financial situation so badly, but look at what he has done.
So, I'm starting to get a little concerned about my future here. Rumor is that the tax rate on personal income tax will jump up to 10.56% (at the top marginal rate). Our sales tax is already 8.25% (plus an LA County surcharge). If we are ever able to buy property, there will be property tax and mello roos on top of all that. Adding in federal taxes, we're probably only going to come home with about 40% of our income. That will all go toward fun stuff... you know, like paying rent, student loans, childcare and food.
Being an adult sucks. I just want to live my life and settle down where I want, without sleazy politicians selling my soul for their special interests and bad ideas.
While this is certainly a problem, it doesn't render it prohibitively expensive to live here because we rent an apartment and are just saving really slowly to buy a place. But soon there will be lots of new problems. The State is currently trying to pass a budget to deal with its own deficit ... $42 BILLION. And guess how they plan to fix it? By taxing everyone more. OF COURSE! BRILLIANT!
I like what this article has to say about it all:
It's sad to watch. The Golden State -- which a decade ago was the booming technology capital of the world -- has been done in by two decades of chronic overspending, overregulating and a hyperprogressive tax code that exaggerates the impact on state revenues of economic boom and bust. Total state expenditures have grown to $145 billion in 2008 from $104 billion in 2003 and California now has the worst credit rating in the nation -- worse even than Louisiana's. It also has the nation's fourth highest unemployment rate of 9.3% (after Michigan, Rhode Island and South Carolina) and the second highest home foreclosure rate (after Nevada)
The media is painting the Republicans in the state senate as evil and menacing, gleefully foiling the Democrats in their honorable battle to pass a budget compromise. But the sound bytes say it all... One dissenter said something along the lines of "I am strongly against raising taxes to generate revenue, especially in a recession. The way to bridge the gap in the budget is to cut spending." Hmmm, that sounds ... logical! Arnold Schwarzenegger is in office because Gray Davis was recalled for damaging California's financial situation so badly, but look at what he has done.
So, I'm starting to get a little concerned about my future here. Rumor is that the tax rate on personal income tax will jump up to 10.56% (at the top marginal rate). Our sales tax is already 8.25% (plus an LA County surcharge). If we are ever able to buy property, there will be property tax and mello roos on top of all that. Adding in federal taxes, we're probably only going to come home with about 40% of our income. That will all go toward fun stuff... you know, like paying rent, student loans, childcare and food.
Being an adult sucks. I just want to live my life and settle down where I want, without sleazy politicians selling my soul for their special interests and bad ideas.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I'm Slow and I Can't Follow Directions
So everyone else did this a while ago, but today Timmy was occupied with his swing for a few hours and in a desperate attempt to avoid homework, I did the 25 Random Facts note on Facebook. Here it is:
1. I'm an Aries. I actually think it describes me pretty well, especially the part about being stubborn. But I don't believe in horoscopes. Or fortune cookies. Or anything else that claims to know something about you based on your birthday or lines on your hands.
2. I've lived in Southern California my whole life, except for 5 years when I lived in New York City. I love visiting NYC now, but I hated living there... I think because I must have chlorophyll (I need sunlight to function and be happy).
3. I moved to NYC three weeks before September 11, 2001. It was probably the saddest thing I've ever dealt with and I didn't even know anyone who died personally. For a while I thought the terrorists were following me, because they bombed trains in Madrid about 3 weeks after I moved there in 2004.
4. The closest near-death experience I have had was when I had double pneumonia right before Christmas in 2003. I was in the Emergency room for 4 days, and the doctors told my parents that I might have died if I waited another 12 hours to come in. I've never felt worse in my life than I did then.
5. Studying abroad in Europe was a life-changing experience but I don't really want to live there again. I have a long list of places I want to visit for the first time before I would want to go back to Europe, especially South America and East Asia.
6. Most of my traveling was camping trips growing up. I hated them at the time, but now I am really thankful my dad took us all the places he did. I've visited every major national park west of the Mississippi. My favorite spots are Yellowstone, Mesa Verde, Banff and Jasper (Canada), Redwood Forest, and the Sea of Cortez.
7. Now most of my traveling is to go to weddings and visit PJO's family. Even though we went to school in New York, we've been to weddings in Texas, Pennsylvania, Florida, Minnesota, California and New Mexico.
8. I have always been an overachiever, but when I got to college, I seriously missed the memo that said you actually still had to do work and go to class. I don't regret anything though because I had a GREAT time in college.
9. I'm a terrible roommate. I can't say I have ever had a good experience living with someone in the same room (until PJO of course). The only thing that comes close would be living in the DG house and living in a Ruggles suite senior year (but I'm sure my roommates would say that doesn't count, since I probably spent a total of 20 nights there).
10. I've never lived completely on my own but I don't think I would really like it.
11. I met my husband at a dirty college bar (the West End, obviously) on his birthday. We were both drunk. True love. We didn't start dating until about 10 months later.
12. I would consider PJO my first serious relationship. I didn't want one. That might be the most major thing that has happened to me that I didn't plan. Three years after we started dating, we were married.
13. I think I am a much better person now than before I met PJO. He is also the perfect complement to me. But I don't really believe in soul mates... I think you find someone you can love and who loves you and then you make it work.
14. I thought Columbia would be the last school I went to, but about 2 months of working as a paralegal at a big law firm made me think law school was a good idea. I applied last minute and ended up at law school.
15. I can't imagine living anywhere but LA now. I absolutely love it. The only thing that might make me move is the fact that it's so damn expensive to buy a house here. But I think I could tolerate an apartment for a while longer in order to live in the most beautiful climate anywhere.
16. My philosophy on life is some combination of "everything happens for a reason" and "we make our own fate." I think it's crazy to look back at places in my life where I made big decisions and think about how differently things could be now, but I could not have planned a better life for myself than the one I have now.
17. I was raised Catholic, but I don't believe a lot of what the religion stands for with social issues. I do, however, love the tradition and some of the basic values the Church teaches, so I got married in the Church and plan to raise Timmy the way PJO and I were raised.
18. I have completely changed most of my political views at some point in the past ten years. I like to think that means I'm open minded, but I also know that part of it has to do with the fact that I tend to resist what the majority around me preaches. I was much more conservative at Columbia, and am much more liberal at my conservative law school. Or maybe I'm the same, and I just seem different based on the environment I am in? I'm a registered independent, but I am basically a Libertarian. I think our current political system sucks.
19. I am picky when it comes to my friends. There are only a few that I am every really close to and I almost never fight with them.
20. I used to be friends with many more guys than girls... Girls were usually too emotional and dramatic. Also, I was kind of a tomboy. I played softball for a while, but then I begged my dad to let me play regular baseball and I ended up on my brother's team. I wasn't that good, so then I moved on to other sports. Now I think I'm friends with an even amount of men and women.
21. Every time I try to define my awkward stage, I end up extending it. As it stands now, I was awkward from about 4th grade through most of college.
22. I am a planner and an organizer. I am constantly updating to-do lists, color-coding calendars and thinking about how to make everything work.
23. Having a baby is the only thing so far that has made me slow down and truly appreciate every minute for what it is, and not just look for the next thing coming up.
24. Yes, the baby was planned. (See #22). He appreciates planning too, because he waited until my finals were done before being born on Christmas day. This gave me enough time to recover before starting my last semester of school.
25. Having Timmy made me sure that I want more kids. I have no idea when that will be though, probably not for a while.
26. I absolutely hated being pregnant. Everything about it. This even though I probably had the easiest pregnancy and delivery ever. It was worth it though, and I absolutely would do it again.
27. Having a baby isn't hard for the reasons that I thought it would be. The hard part is not being able to get anything done during the day and doing everything much more slowly than you're used to. (I choose cleaning the apartment or eating over anything related to law school).
28. Being late drives me crazy, whether it's me or someone else who is late. My volleyball coach used to say "early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable." Now I find myself running late to a lot of stuff and I hate it. I can't tell if it's because I live in LA or because I have a baby.
29. I am not really ready to be done with school forever. I love it and I love the flexible schedule that goes along with it.
30. I am very excited to finally start a career though. It seems so much more fulfilling than a job that I know will be temporary.
31. I don't really watch TV. The only shows I consistently watch are the Office and Everybody Loves Raymond. I don't have the time or energy to faithfully follow anything else, but sometimes I wish I knew what everyone was talking about.
32. Same goes for movies... there are A LOT that I have never seen and don't plan on ever watching. Star Wars, Braveheart, and Gladiator are a few.
33. Somehow though, I am totally addicted to the internet. Email, blogs, facebook, I check them all the time.
34. I don't have "favorites" because I like too many things and usually have to mix and match. The kind of ice cream I get or the movie I watch or the entree I order change every time. But when I really like something, I usually refer to it as my favorite, even though I like it no more or less than the next flavor.
35. I am a sucker for everything seasonal and point-of-sale. If you put it near a check-out stand or make it a flavor like Pumpkin or Eggnog, I'll get it. It drives PJO crazy. I keep a little dish on my coffee table filled with holiday themed candy.
36. I am the spender of our marriage. He always wants to save money and it makes him pretty boring to shop with. I think if I had married someone who spent a lot of money, I would have been the saver.
37. I have two cats. I used to be exclusively a cat person, but then I realized dogs are good too, and just because I like dogs doesn't mean I'm admitting that cats aren't as good. Now I really want 2 (or 3) labs, but I have to wait until I have a backyard for them to run around in. It might be a decade before I get dogs...
38. I like to think of myself as an active person, but the truth is I am pretty lazy. I haven't been to the gym in almost 10 months. I would cancel my membership, but I'm pretty sure the second I do, I will feel like working out and then I would feel pretty stupid. When I actually do work out, I feel awesome afterward... somehow this does not motivate me to go to the gym very often.
39. Speaking of fat, I love dessert. The only time in my life that I didn't want to eat it was when I was pregnant.
40. Oddly enough, the only real cravings I had when I was pregnant were beer and wine.
41. I usually buy wine based on how creative or attractive the label is. This might be because I can't really find any correlation between how expensive wine is and how good it tastes, so if I don't know whether a particular bottle is good or not, I at least want to have a fun bottle to look at.
42. I'm totally OCD, and I don't think it's a bad thing. PJO and my friends will tell you that I don't let anyone else wash my dishes, clean my apartment or do my laundry. They mix up the sponges, don't dry things the right way, put pillows in the wrong spot, etc... I would rather do everything myself and have it look just right.
43. I don't cry in real life very often, but I regularly cry during books, movies, and commercials. When I do cry in real life, it's usually about something totally trivial and then I go crazy. I always feel better after a good cry, except for when I cry so much I get a runny nose and can't breath normally.
44. I am really wordy. That is always the number one criticism of my writing. It is also why it took me 44 things to finish a "25 random facts" list.
1. I'm an Aries. I actually think it describes me pretty well, especially the part about being stubborn. But I don't believe in horoscopes. Or fortune cookies. Or anything else that claims to know something about you based on your birthday or lines on your hands.
2. I've lived in Southern California my whole life, except for 5 years when I lived in New York City. I love visiting NYC now, but I hated living there... I think because I must have chlorophyll (I need sunlight to function and be happy).
3. I moved to NYC three weeks before September 11, 2001. It was probably the saddest thing I've ever dealt with and I didn't even know anyone who died personally. For a while I thought the terrorists were following me, because they bombed trains in Madrid about 3 weeks after I moved there in 2004.
4. The closest near-death experience I have had was when I had double pneumonia right before Christmas in 2003. I was in the Emergency room for 4 days, and the doctors told my parents that I might have died if I waited another 12 hours to come in. I've never felt worse in my life than I did then.
5. Studying abroad in Europe was a life-changing experience but I don't really want to live there again. I have a long list of places I want to visit for the first time before I would want to go back to Europe, especially South America and East Asia.
6. Most of my traveling was camping trips growing up. I hated them at the time, but now I am really thankful my dad took us all the places he did. I've visited every major national park west of the Mississippi. My favorite spots are Yellowstone, Mesa Verde, Banff and Jasper (Canada), Redwood Forest, and the Sea of Cortez.
7. Now most of my traveling is to go to weddings and visit PJO's family. Even though we went to school in New York, we've been to weddings in Texas, Pennsylvania, Florida, Minnesota, California and New Mexico.
8. I have always been an overachiever, but when I got to college, I seriously missed the memo that said you actually still had to do work and go to class. I don't regret anything though because I had a GREAT time in college.
9. I'm a terrible roommate. I can't say I have ever had a good experience living with someone in the same room (until PJO of course). The only thing that comes close would be living in the DG house and living in a Ruggles suite senior year (but I'm sure my roommates would say that doesn't count, since I probably spent a total of 20 nights there).
10. I've never lived completely on my own but I don't think I would really like it.
11. I met my husband at a dirty college bar (the West End, obviously) on his birthday. We were both drunk. True love. We didn't start dating until about 10 months later.
12. I would consider PJO my first serious relationship. I didn't want one. That might be the most major thing that has happened to me that I didn't plan. Three years after we started dating, we were married.
13. I think I am a much better person now than before I met PJO. He is also the perfect complement to me. But I don't really believe in soul mates... I think you find someone you can love and who loves you and then you make it work.
14. I thought Columbia would be the last school I went to, but about 2 months of working as a paralegal at a big law firm made me think law school was a good idea. I applied last minute and ended up at law school.
15. I can't imagine living anywhere but LA now. I absolutely love it. The only thing that might make me move is the fact that it's so damn expensive to buy a house here. But I think I could tolerate an apartment for a while longer in order to live in the most beautiful climate anywhere.
16. My philosophy on life is some combination of "everything happens for a reason" and "we make our own fate." I think it's crazy to look back at places in my life where I made big decisions and think about how differently things could be now, but I could not have planned a better life for myself than the one I have now.
17. I was raised Catholic, but I don't believe a lot of what the religion stands for with social issues. I do, however, love the tradition and some of the basic values the Church teaches, so I got married in the Church and plan to raise Timmy the way PJO and I were raised.
18. I have completely changed most of my political views at some point in the past ten years. I like to think that means I'm open minded, but I also know that part of it has to do with the fact that I tend to resist what the majority around me preaches. I was much more conservative at Columbia, and am much more liberal at my conservative law school. Or maybe I'm the same, and I just seem different based on the environment I am in? I'm a registered independent, but I am basically a Libertarian. I think our current political system sucks.
19. I am picky when it comes to my friends. There are only a few that I am every really close to and I almost never fight with them.
20. I used to be friends with many more guys than girls... Girls were usually too emotional and dramatic. Also, I was kind of a tomboy. I played softball for a while, but then I begged my dad to let me play regular baseball and I ended up on my brother's team. I wasn't that good, so then I moved on to other sports. Now I think I'm friends with an even amount of men and women.
21. Every time I try to define my awkward stage, I end up extending it. As it stands now, I was awkward from about 4th grade through most of college.
22. I am a planner and an organizer. I am constantly updating to-do lists, color-coding calendars and thinking about how to make everything work.
23. Having a baby is the only thing so far that has made me slow down and truly appreciate every minute for what it is, and not just look for the next thing coming up.
24. Yes, the baby was planned. (See #22). He appreciates planning too, because he waited until my finals were done before being born on Christmas day. This gave me enough time to recover before starting my last semester of school.
25. Having Timmy made me sure that I want more kids. I have no idea when that will be though, probably not for a while.
26. I absolutely hated being pregnant. Everything about it. This even though I probably had the easiest pregnancy and delivery ever. It was worth it though, and I absolutely would do it again.
27. Having a baby isn't hard for the reasons that I thought it would be. The hard part is not being able to get anything done during the day and doing everything much more slowly than you're used to. (I choose cleaning the apartment or eating over anything related to law school).
28. Being late drives me crazy, whether it's me or someone else who is late. My volleyball coach used to say "early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable." Now I find myself running late to a lot of stuff and I hate it. I can't tell if it's because I live in LA or because I have a baby.
29. I am not really ready to be done with school forever. I love it and I love the flexible schedule that goes along with it.
30. I am very excited to finally start a career though. It seems so much more fulfilling than a job that I know will be temporary.
31. I don't really watch TV. The only shows I consistently watch are the Office and Everybody Loves Raymond. I don't have the time or energy to faithfully follow anything else, but sometimes I wish I knew what everyone was talking about.
32. Same goes for movies... there are A LOT that I have never seen and don't plan on ever watching. Star Wars, Braveheart, and Gladiator are a few.
33. Somehow though, I am totally addicted to the internet. Email, blogs, facebook, I check them all the time.
34. I don't have "favorites" because I like too many things and usually have to mix and match. The kind of ice cream I get or the movie I watch or the entree I order change every time. But when I really like something, I usually refer to it as my favorite, even though I like it no more or less than the next flavor.
35. I am a sucker for everything seasonal and point-of-sale. If you put it near a check-out stand or make it a flavor like Pumpkin or Eggnog, I'll get it. It drives PJO crazy. I keep a little dish on my coffee table filled with holiday themed candy.
36. I am the spender of our marriage. He always wants to save money and it makes him pretty boring to shop with. I think if I had married someone who spent a lot of money, I would have been the saver.
37. I have two cats. I used to be exclusively a cat person, but then I realized dogs are good too, and just because I like dogs doesn't mean I'm admitting that cats aren't as good. Now I really want 2 (or 3) labs, but I have to wait until I have a backyard for them to run around in. It might be a decade before I get dogs...
38. I like to think of myself as an active person, but the truth is I am pretty lazy. I haven't been to the gym in almost 10 months. I would cancel my membership, but I'm pretty sure the second I do, I will feel like working out and then I would feel pretty stupid. When I actually do work out, I feel awesome afterward... somehow this does not motivate me to go to the gym very often.
39. Speaking of fat, I love dessert. The only time in my life that I didn't want to eat it was when I was pregnant.
40. Oddly enough, the only real cravings I had when I was pregnant were beer and wine.
41. I usually buy wine based on how creative or attractive the label is. This might be because I can't really find any correlation between how expensive wine is and how good it tastes, so if I don't know whether a particular bottle is good or not, I at least want to have a fun bottle to look at.
42. I'm totally OCD, and I don't think it's a bad thing. PJO and my friends will tell you that I don't let anyone else wash my dishes, clean my apartment or do my laundry. They mix up the sponges, don't dry things the right way, put pillows in the wrong spot, etc... I would rather do everything myself and have it look just right.
43. I don't cry in real life very often, but I regularly cry during books, movies, and commercials. When I do cry in real life, it's usually about something totally trivial and then I go crazy. I always feel better after a good cry, except for when I cry so much I get a runny nose and can't breath normally.
44. I am really wordy. That is always the number one criticism of my writing. It is also why it took me 44 things to finish a "25 random facts" list.
Monday, February 9, 2009
A Night on the Town
A great example of why my mom is so amazing:
When she came up on Friday to babysit so that PJO and I could go to a birthday party, she gave us our Valentine's Day present. And it might be the best Valentine's present I've ever gotten.
She will be coming up Saturday morning. PJO and I are going to the spa for a couple's massage that afternoon, and then we're staying at a hotel Saturday night while my mom watches Timmy. It will be our first night away from him. I still feel kind of weird about that... I'm pretty sure I'll miss him.* But wow, it will be so nice to have a relaxing night with PJO to just enjoy each other without the stress of baby, work, school, or everyday life. And we're always within 5 miles of home, so it should be anxiety-free. I am very excited!
I've never been that big on Valentine's Day. I love the excuse to eat chocolate and go out for a nice dinner, but it never seemed like I actually felt more love on that day than any other day. But this year, I feel a little differently. It's been so easy to focus on everything besides PJO and our marriage ... when we're not trying to get stuff done or spend time with the baby, we're desperately trying to catch up on sleep or eat or something. We haven't just taken time out to appreciate each other and our marriage since the baby was born, and we certainly haven't done this alone together. If ever there was a year where we could take advantage of a single day to spend the whole time thinking about our marriage and showing our love for one another, it was this year.
*Especially since he started being a perfect little angel at night. He's been sleeping for a 5 hour stretch, followed by a 3 hour stretch for about a week now. On Saturday night, he slept for a whole 7 hours! At 6.5 weeks, I feel pretty lucky for that uninterrupted sleep!
When she came up on Friday to babysit so that PJO and I could go to a birthday party, she gave us our Valentine's Day present. And it might be the best Valentine's present I've ever gotten.
She will be coming up Saturday morning. PJO and I are going to the spa for a couple's massage that afternoon, and then we're staying at a hotel Saturday night while my mom watches Timmy. It will be our first night away from him. I still feel kind of weird about that... I'm pretty sure I'll miss him.* But wow, it will be so nice to have a relaxing night with PJO to just enjoy each other without the stress of baby, work, school, or everyday life. And we're always within 5 miles of home, so it should be anxiety-free. I am very excited!
I've never been that big on Valentine's Day. I love the excuse to eat chocolate and go out for a nice dinner, but it never seemed like I actually felt more love on that day than any other day. But this year, I feel a little differently. It's been so easy to focus on everything besides PJO and our marriage ... when we're not trying to get stuff done or spend time with the baby, we're desperately trying to catch up on sleep or eat or something. We haven't just taken time out to appreciate each other and our marriage since the baby was born, and we certainly haven't done this alone together. If ever there was a year where we could take advantage of a single day to spend the whole time thinking about our marriage and showing our love for one another, it was this year.
*Especially since he started being a perfect little angel at night. He's been sleeping for a 5 hour stretch, followed by a 3 hour stretch for about a week now. On Saturday night, he slept for a whole 7 hours! At 6.5 weeks, I feel pretty lucky for that uninterrupted sleep!
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Happiest Baby in Our Apartment
A few weeks ago, I wrote about how Timmy was so fussy sometimes and how we thought it might be colic or reflux, but we weren't really sure. Well, he was pretty good for a week, and then he had another horrible 36 hours... it seemed like he was in terrible pain for most of his awake hours. This was Sunday and Monday of this week. My mom was staying with me that night and she seemed really worried, so I felt justified taking him to the pediatrician. (After all, she's an experienced pro). I was hoping for some sort of answer as to what was causing it or at least confirmation that, while terrible, it was not life-threatening.
I described to the doctor how he was acting that day, screaming off and on, (even during nursing, which he never does). He wasn't pooping regularly, etc.... The symptoms that sound like reflux are not at all common with him, but I just left it out there so she would at least examine him without assuming I was just a paranoid first-time mom. She said that it was definitely possible he has reflux, but before putting him on medication, she wanted to try some other remedies for two weeks. (I really do not want to give him medication unless he absolutely needs it, so I was glad that she took this approach). Among other things, this includes:
Elimination diet - no dairy, tomatoes or citrus (basically everything I eat)
Holding him upright for 10-15 min. after eating and giving him gripe water/mylicon
Elevating the head of his mattress
Giving him an ounce of chamomile tea with a teaspoon of sugar once a day
Lo and behold, he's a perfectly happy baby now. I have no idea if any of this is what helped him. And to be fair, it's not like he was constantly fussy before. To be honest, I think what has helped is Harvey Karp's book, The Happiest Baby on the Block. I read it, and something clicked. His basic theory is that colic is just the result of babies being born before they're really ready for the outside world (3 months early). Some can handle it and don't really fuss, but others are overwhelmed and show it by being fussy.
He lists "ten universal facts about colic" and a few of them describe what Timmy was doing exactly...
1. Colicky crying usually starts at two weeks, peaks at six weeks, and ends by three to four months of age.
3. Colicky babies have twisted faces and piercing wails, like a person in pain. Often, their cries come in waves (like cramps) and stop abruptly.
4. Their screams frequently being during or just after a feeding.
5. They often double up, grunt, strain and seem relieved by passing gas or pooping.
8. Colicky crying often improves with rocking, holding, shhhhing and gentle abdominal pressure.
9. Babies are healthy and happy between crying bouts.
We automatically assumed it was gas pain, but as Karp points out, this doesn't really make sense because most of the time, the gas and/or pooping doesn't bother him at all.
Karp's solution to calming fussy or colicky babies is "the Cuddle Cure" which is the combination of the 5 Ss... Swaddling, Side/Stomach, Shhhing, Swinging and Sucking. He claims that when done correctly, all of this will trigger the calming reflex because it basically recreates the womb environment.
It's totally possible that his whole theory is crap, but it really made sense to me, and when I do what the book says to do, he calms down quickly. The past two nights, he has had a 7 hour stretch between feedings, sleeping five hours straight. I really recommend the book, for entertainment if nothing else.
Here's our healthy, THIRTEEN POUND, 6 week old:
I described to the doctor how he was acting that day, screaming off and on, (even during nursing, which he never does). He wasn't pooping regularly, etc.... The symptoms that sound like reflux are not at all common with him, but I just left it out there so she would at least examine him without assuming I was just a paranoid first-time mom. She said that it was definitely possible he has reflux, but before putting him on medication, she wanted to try some other remedies for two weeks. (I really do not want to give him medication unless he absolutely needs it, so I was glad that she took this approach). Among other things, this includes:
Elimination diet - no dairy, tomatoes or citrus (basically everything I eat)
Holding him upright for 10-15 min. after eating and giving him gripe water/mylicon
Elevating the head of his mattress
Giving him an ounce of chamomile tea with a teaspoon of sugar once a day
Lo and behold, he's a perfectly happy baby now. I have no idea if any of this is what helped him. And to be fair, it's not like he was constantly fussy before. To be honest, I think what has helped is Harvey Karp's book, The Happiest Baby on the Block. I read it, and something clicked. His basic theory is that colic is just the result of babies being born before they're really ready for the outside world (3 months early). Some can handle it and don't really fuss, but others are overwhelmed and show it by being fussy.
He lists "ten universal facts about colic" and a few of them describe what Timmy was doing exactly...
1. Colicky crying usually starts at two weeks, peaks at six weeks, and ends by three to four months of age.
3. Colicky babies have twisted faces and piercing wails, like a person in pain. Often, their cries come in waves (like cramps) and stop abruptly.
4. Their screams frequently being during or just after a feeding.
5. They often double up, grunt, strain and seem relieved by passing gas or pooping.
8. Colicky crying often improves with rocking, holding, shhhhing and gentle abdominal pressure.
9. Babies are healthy and happy between crying bouts.
We automatically assumed it was gas pain, but as Karp points out, this doesn't really make sense because most of the time, the gas and/or pooping doesn't bother him at all.
Karp's solution to calming fussy or colicky babies is "the Cuddle Cure" which is the combination of the 5 Ss... Swaddling, Side/Stomach, Shhhing, Swinging and Sucking. He claims that when done correctly, all of this will trigger the calming reflex because it basically recreates the womb environment.
It's totally possible that his whole theory is crap, but it really made sense to me, and when I do what the book says to do, he calms down quickly. The past two nights, he has had a 7 hour stretch between feedings, sleeping five hours straight. I really recommend the book, for entertainment if nothing else.
Here's our healthy, THIRTEEN POUND, 6 week old:
Childcare, Stage 2
You know how eating real food is a gradual process for kids? First they just have breast milk or formula, then it's cereal added into the mix, then it's pureed veggies and fruit, etc... All of that before they're ever sitting at a table with a fork and a knife eating a steak or a salad.
Well, I like to think of my childcare arrangement in a similar way. I had two weeks at home with Timothy when he was born. Then for my first three weeks back at school, my mom was here to watch him. Starting today, our babysitter is with him while I have class. Eventually, we'll hire someone for the two months that I study for the bar after I graduate (I think a college student on summer break), and then he'll enroll in a daycare (probably) when I start working at the firm.*
It was amazing to have my mom here. I partially realized this while she was here, but it really hit me today. Not only did she completely take over the nights before I had class by keeping the baby monitor with her and just waking me up when he was hungry, but she really, really loves being with Timmy. Having someone here with so much experience who honestly wants to be with him just for the sake of being with him? Can't beat that. And I looked forward to coming home and hanging out with both of them. And it was totally ok to nurse or pump in front of her.
Now it's ... different ... with our babysitter. She's the wife of a guy who was in my section at law school first year. She is great, and nice and fun and loves kids, but it's just not the same. She doesn't have much experience with newborns, so I don't feel as comfortable. Obviously if I felt uncomfortable leaving him with her, I wouldn't do it. But there is just a big difference between someone your own age and the person who raised you from birth. It's just the little things that render the situation less than perfect. Since she is a part-time student, I know that she would love to get homework done while he naps. But then I think maybe she isn't giving him enough attention if he is awake because she just wants him to sleep. And she doesn't quite know his different cries, so she tried feeding him when he wasn't hungry instead of just rocking him.
But then I realize, I have done the same thing. I have wished he would sleep so I could get work done. And I have been completely oblivious to what his cries mean (I still don't always know what he wants). Somehow it's very different when I do it though.
She gets here at 8am and leaves at 1:15pm on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I can kind of handle this ... I think. But DAMN, it is much harder to leave a new baby with a babysitter than it is to leave him with his Grandma. I didn't cry... that's not really my style. But I did lay in bed last night trying to convince myself that it would all be fine instead of getting that elusive sleep I so desperately need.
I think I'm also starting to feel like Timmy is a person, my son, instead of just a baby who needs to be taken care of. He totally knows who PJO and I are now. He smiles and laughs at us. He stares at us for what feels like forever. I know that he is fine with just about anyone who will feed him and hold him at this point, but I just feel like if it's not me taking care of him, he deserves someone at least as good as I am. It's a weird struggle. I still don't have a desire to stay home at all times with him, but I do want to make sure he's in the best hands at all times. I'm sure it will be hard once I'm working full time to be away, but I think if I find really great childcare, I'll be ok. In a dream world, my mom could just be our nanny. In the real world, I'm sure I'll struggle every day with wondering who the right person is to take care of him.
* Who knows when that will be. We're supposed to find out our start dates in March. Up until now, new associates have always had a choice between early September, early October and early November, but as long as you started before December 1st, you would keep your class standing (important for bonuses, etc...). Now the rumor is that our start dates are going to be pushed back because of the economy, and I've heard everything from late October to January of 2010! It's weird to think I might be a stay at home mom for 5 months, I'm not sure I could handle it!
Well, I like to think of my childcare arrangement in a similar way. I had two weeks at home with Timothy when he was born. Then for my first three weeks back at school, my mom was here to watch him. Starting today, our babysitter is with him while I have class. Eventually, we'll hire someone for the two months that I study for the bar after I graduate (I think a college student on summer break), and then he'll enroll in a daycare (probably) when I start working at the firm.*
It was amazing to have my mom here. I partially realized this while she was here, but it really hit me today. Not only did she completely take over the nights before I had class by keeping the baby monitor with her and just waking me up when he was hungry, but she really, really loves being with Timmy. Having someone here with so much experience who honestly wants to be with him just for the sake of being with him? Can't beat that. And I looked forward to coming home and hanging out with both of them. And it was totally ok to nurse or pump in front of her.
Now it's ... different ... with our babysitter. She's the wife of a guy who was in my section at law school first year. She is great, and nice and fun and loves kids, but it's just not the same. She doesn't have much experience with newborns, so I don't feel as comfortable. Obviously if I felt uncomfortable leaving him with her, I wouldn't do it. But there is just a big difference between someone your own age and the person who raised you from birth. It's just the little things that render the situation less than perfect. Since she is a part-time student, I know that she would love to get homework done while he naps. But then I think maybe she isn't giving him enough attention if he is awake because she just wants him to sleep. And she doesn't quite know his different cries, so she tried feeding him when he wasn't hungry instead of just rocking him.
But then I realize, I have done the same thing. I have wished he would sleep so I could get work done. And I have been completely oblivious to what his cries mean (I still don't always know what he wants). Somehow it's very different when I do it though.
She gets here at 8am and leaves at 1:15pm on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I can kind of handle this ... I think. But DAMN, it is much harder to leave a new baby with a babysitter than it is to leave him with his Grandma. I didn't cry... that's not really my style. But I did lay in bed last night trying to convince myself that it would all be fine instead of getting that elusive sleep I so desperately need.
I think I'm also starting to feel like Timmy is a person, my son, instead of just a baby who needs to be taken care of. He totally knows who PJO and I are now. He smiles and laughs at us. He stares at us for what feels like forever. I know that he is fine with just about anyone who will feed him and hold him at this point, but I just feel like if it's not me taking care of him, he deserves someone at least as good as I am. It's a weird struggle. I still don't have a desire to stay home at all times with him, but I do want to make sure he's in the best hands at all times. I'm sure it will be hard once I'm working full time to be away, but I think if I find really great childcare, I'll be ok. In a dream world, my mom could just be our nanny. In the real world, I'm sure I'll struggle every day with wondering who the right person is to take care of him.
* Who knows when that will be. We're supposed to find out our start dates in March. Up until now, new associates have always had a choice between early September, early October and early November, but as long as you started before December 1st, you would keep your class standing (important for bonuses, etc...). Now the rumor is that our start dates are going to be pushed back because of the economy, and I've heard everything from late October to January of 2010! It's weird to think I might be a stay at home mom for 5 months, I'm not sure I could handle it!
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