Of all the people in LA that I love, some of my favorites are my doctors. Perhaps not totally surprising, given that in high school I loved my teachers more than my classmates and my coaches more than my team mates. I probably keep in touch more with professors and staff from law school than class mates as well. My doctors...I want to be friends with them. "My doctors" sounds like I have a team of people working on me at all times, but I just have two...my ob-gyn and my primary care doctor. They are friends with each other (from med school), and my ob referred me to my primary care. They are amazing at what they do, funny, cool and totally bad ass. I look forward to going to them because I enjoy the 5-10 minutes of conversation in their office. I just saw my ob-gyn about a month ago, and I tried to drop hints...we talked about her friends, my friends and how every patient in her office is crazy ("typical westside moms(!!)"). But our conversation stopped there...I wasn't going to ask her out on a date or anything, so I guess we'll never become friends or hang out. Maybe it's too hard to be friends with someone when you've looked at their vagina up close? Has anyone out there ever crossed that boundary?
I think I'm intimidated by the fact that she's a doctor...after all, she's supposed to maintain a professional relationship with clients. But then I thought about all my friends in Med school; someday, I'll be friends with all of those doctors. And I'm a lawyer (technically); will one of my clients someday want to be friends with me?
As an aside, is it just my doctors, or is it common for them to be unable to relate personally to what they do? My OB mentioned that she doesn't have kids because she is "crazy and can't wrap her head around it." And then I thought about Timmy's pediatrician, who is also amazing and great, and she doesn't have kids either. How is it that an OB and pediatrician end up practicing medicine, trying to bring little babies into the world and help them grow up big and strong, but don't have their own? They must enjoy dealing with pregnant women and babies enough to make it their profession. I understand if they're too busy to start a family yet (I mean, both of them work around the clock!) But it seems like neither of them want kids at all. Maybe their patients are their kids. Or do they not want kids because they see too much of them to want it for themselves as well?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
When Opportunity Knocks
As of today, it's official. PJO will be starting his new job in two weeks. We have very little planned out right now. He'll be commuting about 50 miles each way, which will undoubtedly be rough (on all three of us). At some point, we'll move there and I will presumably take the train to work when I start in October. Right now, my plan is still to transfer offices whenever there is an opening, but I'm happy that I'm still scheduled to start in the LA office because I know the people and I will have some great opportunities to do the kind of work I'm interested in.
I won't pretend that I'm 100% sure we're making the right decision, but I'm really, really happy. And I feel very confident that this is where we should be and all the inconveniences and outstanding issues will resolve themselves.
LA is the first place that I've lived on my own where I truly thought I might make it my permanent home, so I've invested a lot into my life here. Of course leaving that is going to be sad in some respects. I'll miss friends and it will be tough to switch back to being the new visitor from the seasoned veteran around town...err, something like that. Part of me will be glad if I don't have to cut all ties right away and I can still feel like a part of LA by working here. But I'm a firm believer in not overstaying your welcome and leaving before you have a bad taste in your mouth. Just like I love returning to NYC each visit, LA will hold a special place in my heart forever.
I won't pretend that I'm 100% sure we're making the right decision, but I'm really, really happy. And I feel very confident that this is where we should be and all the inconveniences and outstanding issues will resolve themselves.
LA is the first place that I've lived on my own where I truly thought I might make it my permanent home, so I've invested a lot into my life here. Of course leaving that is going to be sad in some respects. I'll miss friends and it will be tough to switch back to being the new visitor from the seasoned veteran around town...err, something like that. Part of me will be glad if I don't have to cut all ties right away and I can still feel like a part of LA by working here. But I'm a firm believer in not overstaying your welcome and leaving before you have a bad taste in your mouth. Just like I love returning to NYC each visit, LA will hold a special place in my heart forever.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Decision Time
As I alluded to, I've had a post in my drafts that's actually related to work. And not just related to my job, but PJO's as well. I didn't want to say anything until it was all finalized, but now everything is pretty firm and we have to make some decisions. And fast. We probably will come to some sort of conclusion tonight or tomorrow.
PJO has an offer at a great firm in suburbia (50 miles away). More prestigious firm, slightly more money, about equal benefits, but maybe a little less big fish in a small pond and more of a small fish in a big pond. The good news is my whole family lives in suburbia and we could buy a fairly nice house there where good schools for Timmy abound. I have actually wanted to move back for awhile, but PJO has been adamantly opposed. Until now.
I tried to transfer to the office of my firm in suburbia, but right now, the office is "full" so I'll be in LA for a year or two more. The question now is whether we move to suburbia anyway. I could commute to the LA office pretty easily by train. It's not ideal, but there are definite benefits (doing work or relaxing on the way to work instead of letting road rage consume me). I could drive when I feel like it or when I know I have a late night ahead. I was told that I could probably transfer to the suburbia office in a year or two, so the longer commute wouldn't be forever. Of course, the benefit to staying in the LA office is that it's bigger and has a great variety of work across practice areas. But I worry about being a junior associate and having to leave at a specific time every night to catch the train.
Our choices basically come down to 1) staying in LA, PJO stays at his current job, I keep my current job offer, or 2) We move to suburbia, PJO takes the new job and I commute until I transfer offices (unless I love the train so much that I want to stay at the LA office). So, with that extremely vague overview and lack of important facts, what would you do? Any insight is appreciated. I'll keep you all updated.
PJO has an offer at a great firm in suburbia (50 miles away). More prestigious firm, slightly more money, about equal benefits, but maybe a little less big fish in a small pond and more of a small fish in a big pond. The good news is my whole family lives in suburbia and we could buy a fairly nice house there where good schools for Timmy abound. I have actually wanted to move back for awhile, but PJO has been adamantly opposed. Until now.
I tried to transfer to the office of my firm in suburbia, but right now, the office is "full" so I'll be in LA for a year or two more. The question now is whether we move to suburbia anyway. I could commute to the LA office pretty easily by train. It's not ideal, but there are definite benefits (doing work or relaxing on the way to work instead of letting road rage consume me). I could drive when I feel like it or when I know I have a late night ahead. I was told that I could probably transfer to the suburbia office in a year or two, so the longer commute wouldn't be forever. Of course, the benefit to staying in the LA office is that it's bigger and has a great variety of work across practice areas. But I worry about being a junior associate and having to leave at a specific time every night to catch the train.
Our choices basically come down to 1) staying in LA, PJO stays at his current job, I keep my current job offer, or 2) We move to suburbia, PJO takes the new job and I commute until I transfer offices (unless I love the train so much that I want to stay at the LA office). So, with that extremely vague overview and lack of important facts, what would you do? Any insight is appreciated. I'll keep you all updated.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
little snippets
I don't tweet (?) ... not that I think it's silly or inherently bad, it's just that I can't commit to being committed. As is evident on this blog and facebook, I will go through periods where I have the urge and the time to write often. But those times are few and far between. Then there is the common excuse... I have nothing interesting to say. It's true, my life is fairly boring.
Anyway, if I were to use Twitter, here are some (truly boring) things I might have tweeted(?) lately, except for the whole word limit thing:
- I really love southern California. It's been 70s and 80s, sunny, clear and beautiful. We've gone to the pool a lot lately and we went hiking on Sunday, the same day my in-laws lost power because of a nasty rain storm in the northeast.
- The other night, PJO woke me up and said, I think there was an earthquake. I mumbled "uh-huh, sure" and drifted back to sleep. He's been paranoid that any minor shaking is the dreaded EARTHQUAKE since he moved out here. I guess he was right. Since I was a kid, I've slept through just about every tremor. (...knocks on wood..)
- I think the thing I miss most about my life pre-baby was being able to take a long time to enjoy the things that are now chores ... when did I last cook a big, elaborate meal and have fun doing it? Oh and having a clean, organized house. That too.
- I also miss being able to lay out in the sun instead of hurriedly putting clothes back on the baby and getting him in the shade. Luckily, I have a girls' weekend coming up! A weekend filled with spa appointments, food, pool time, cocktails, shopping and girlfriends in Palm Springs! My first time away from Timmy, minus the Bar exam of course. It will be delightful.
- 7 months from today is my first day of work. That seems really, really soon.
- A week from today, Timmy will be 15 months old. It's been almost 2 years since I got pregnant. Really?! Wow. Time flies.
- Yesterday was St. Patrick's day. I'm pretty indifferent to this holiday, although I toasted some green bagels in the morning. But since I felt compelled to eat something green, I had a big bowl of guacamole for lunch. Mmm, much better than corned beef or whatever the festive food should be.
- [I could write real, actual posts ... lots of them ... about careers/jobs. Related to both myself and PJO. But that will have to wait for now.]
- This week, Timmy transitioned to one nap. It's glorious. We can go do stuff outside most of the day now, and when we're home I have at least 2 hours to do whatever I want. Reading, eating and watching movies are all in my weekday future.
- Have you done the 30 day shred? Because I own the DVD and may soon break open the packaging. How many days will I last? Do I really care enough to get off my lazy ass and sweat?
- I never thought it would happen, but I'm a convert ... officially prefer Mac to PC now. I feel like a traitor. But also a really cool rebel.
ya, nothing even remotely interesting...I'm debating even publishing, but since it's been over a week, here it is.
Anyway, if I were to use Twitter, here are some (truly boring) things I might have tweeted(?) lately, except for the whole word limit thing:
- I really love southern California. It's been 70s and 80s, sunny, clear and beautiful. We've gone to the pool a lot lately and we went hiking on Sunday, the same day my in-laws lost power because of a nasty rain storm in the northeast.
- The other night, PJO woke me up and said, I think there was an earthquake. I mumbled "uh-huh, sure" and drifted back to sleep. He's been paranoid that any minor shaking is the dreaded EARTHQUAKE since he moved out here. I guess he was right. Since I was a kid, I've slept through just about every tremor. (...knocks on wood..)
- I think the thing I miss most about my life pre-baby was being able to take a long time to enjoy the things that are now chores ... when did I last cook a big, elaborate meal and have fun doing it? Oh and having a clean, organized house. That too.
- I also miss being able to lay out in the sun instead of hurriedly putting clothes back on the baby and getting him in the shade. Luckily, I have a girls' weekend coming up! A weekend filled with spa appointments, food, pool time, cocktails, shopping and girlfriends in Palm Springs! My first time away from Timmy, minus the Bar exam of course. It will be delightful.
- 7 months from today is my first day of work. That seems really, really soon.
- A week from today, Timmy will be 15 months old. It's been almost 2 years since I got pregnant. Really?! Wow. Time flies.
- Yesterday was St. Patrick's day. I'm pretty indifferent to this holiday, although I toasted some green bagels in the morning. But since I felt compelled to eat something green, I had a big bowl of guacamole for lunch. Mmm, much better than corned beef or whatever the festive food should be.
- [I could write real, actual posts ... lots of them ... about careers/jobs. Related to both myself and PJO. But that will have to wait for now.]
- This week, Timmy transitioned to one nap. It's glorious. We can go do stuff outside most of the day now, and when we're home I have at least 2 hours to do whatever I want. Reading, eating and watching movies are all in my weekday future.
- Have you done the 30 day shred? Because I own the DVD and may soon break open the packaging. How many days will I last? Do I really care enough to get off my lazy ass and sweat?
- I never thought it would happen, but I'm a convert ... officially prefer Mac to PC now. I feel like a traitor. But also a really cool rebel.
ya, nothing even remotely interesting...I'm debating even publishing, but since it's been over a week, here it is.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Huge Mama's Boy
As a fairly non-emotional, not overly affectionate person, I never wanted my kids to be totally attached to me. I wanted my son to be independent and self-sufficient. I thought those clingy kids at the playground were annoying and weak. So what did I get?
Wait for it.....
Wait for it ....
Drum roll please....
Mama's boy. He whines when I leave his presence. He stands at my feet, grasping at my pants and sticking his head between my knees. He pushes off anyone else holding him if I walk by to try and jump into my arms. To be perfectly honest, it usually bothers me, ranging from very mild annoyance to embarrassment that he won't just go play with the other kids. At his school (mommy & me class on Fridays), it can be difficult to make it through my 30 minute discussion time when I hear him crying for me through the walls. It can also make it difficult to watch the other kids when he cries if I walk more than 5 feet away from him. It's not that I want him to be emotionally detached from me or want nothing to do with me, I just wish he could enjoy play time with other kids or be calmed by someone other than me when he wakes up scared at night.
But then some days, ...ah, there is nothing better. Some days I pretend that he's never going to love anyone more than me, not even during the teen years. Some days, like today, he'll come over to me during playgroup and without any sort of explanation or apparent reason, he'll lay his head on me, look up at my eyes and clutch my shirt. We stayed that way for 10 minutes straight and I didn't care that Timmy was ignoring the toys and his friends and being outside at the park. I didn't care that I couldn't have a conversation with my friends without a baby all over me.
The other moms kept asking if he was sleeping. Nope. He was just being a mama's boy. So they took a picture and said "aww."
Wait for it.....
Wait for it ....
Drum roll please....
Mama's boy. He whines when I leave his presence. He stands at my feet, grasping at my pants and sticking his head between my knees. He pushes off anyone else holding him if I walk by to try and jump into my arms. To be perfectly honest, it usually bothers me, ranging from very mild annoyance to embarrassment that he won't just go play with the other kids. At his school (mommy & me class on Fridays), it can be difficult to make it through my 30 minute discussion time when I hear him crying for me through the walls. It can also make it difficult to watch the other kids when he cries if I walk more than 5 feet away from him. It's not that I want him to be emotionally detached from me or want nothing to do with me, I just wish he could enjoy play time with other kids or be calmed by someone other than me when he wakes up scared at night.
But then some days, ...ah, there is nothing better. Some days I pretend that he's never going to love anyone more than me, not even during the teen years. Some days, like today, he'll come over to me during playgroup and without any sort of explanation or apparent reason, he'll lay his head on me, look up at my eyes and clutch my shirt. We stayed that way for 10 minutes straight and I didn't care that Timmy was ignoring the toys and his friends and being outside at the park. I didn't care that I couldn't have a conversation with my friends without a baby all over me.
The other moms kept asking if he was sleeping. Nope. He was just being a mama's boy. So they took a picture and said "aww."
Friday, March 5, 2010
His favorite things
Being read to by Mommy
Being read to by Daddy
Reading multiple books at one time to himself
And waffles
Being read to by Daddy
And waffles
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
My Legacy
This may be a little bit late to the game, but I finally read The Last Lecture. I originally bought it for PJO before one of his long flights to London because I knew it was written by a Computer Science professor and was a top seller. PJO thought it was a good book and it even made him teary eyed on the plane, so I knew I should read it one day. It did not disappoint.
In case you're unfamiliar, the book is basically Randy Pausch's way of saying goodbye and telling us what he has learned in life before succumbing to pancreatic cancer. He gave his "last lecture" to a packed auditorium at Carnegie Mellon on how to achieve your childhood dreams, and in doing so, divulged his secrets for leading a happy life. It may not be the most eloquently written, literary masterpiece out there, but it is an honest and thought provoking account of some of life's most important lessons.
When you hear about the circumstances in which he wrote this, you can't help but choke back tears. He was given a few months to live and say goodbye to his wife and three young children.
"There are so many things I want to tell my children, and right now, they're too young to understand. Dylan just turned six. Logan is three. Chloe is eighteen months old. I want the kids to know who I am, what I've always believed in, and all the ways in which I've come to love them. Given their ages, so much of this would be over their heads. I wish the kids could understand how desperately I don't want to leave them....It pains me to think that when they're older, they won't have a father. When I cry in the shower, I'm not usually thinking, 'I won't get to see them do this' or 'I won't get to see them do that.' I'm thinking about the kids not having a father."
Luckily for his kids, they will have ways to get a glimpse of what their dad was like, even if he isn't alive. They can read the book, they can watch videos, they can ask their mom to tell stories. And luckily, they will be proud of who he was. They will be glad to find out that he was truly happy and left with no regrets about how he lived his life. They will feel loved when they find out that he was madly in love with them and their mom.
This is what he had to say about his youngest, who was older than Timmy is now:
"I'm aware that Chloe may have no memory of me at all. She's too young. But I want her to grow up knowing that I was the first man ever to fall in love with her. I'd always thought the father/daughter thing was overstated. But I can tell you, it's real. Sometimes, she looks at me and I just become a puddle."
Wow.
So I think it's natural to wonder as you read this what legacy you would be leaving behind if you died today. I'm sure that's part of his reason for writing this book; giving his audience reason to pause and self-reflect. Maybe someone out there will think, "Hey, if I die tomorrow, I should really live it up today and tell the people I love what they mean to me and hope that they will remember me as a good person."
I've thought about this before. Although my Grandma's funeral last fall was the first funeral I've ever been to, it was the third funeral in my mom's immediate family. She told me how each one was different from the other; my Grandpa died when I was 3 after battling Leukemia for 15 years. While it was sad, my whole family had been glad to see him at peace after suffering for so long. In quite a different situation, my Aunt died completely unexpectedly when she was only 36. She passed away in her sleep (we think from a blood clot in her brain), leaving behind 4 kids, including a 9 day old daughter. There was nothing that could mitigate the unimaginable tragedy. I am told the funeral was a horrific scene. Finally, my Grandma died unexpectedly but after having lived a full, happy life. There were mixed emotions at the funeral: grief at her passing but celebration of the joy in her life.
My Aunt, Grandma and Grandpa all leave behind a legacy that they would be proud of. They had varying lengths of time to form the memories others had of them before they left. I'm not sure if they were abnormally good people or if time renders all memories of a deceased family member positive and glowing. I just know that I want to be remembered as half as good of a person as any of them. I want PJO to know when I'm gone that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I want my parents to know that I think I lucked out by being born to them and that I hope I can emulate lessons from them in raising my own family. I want Timmy to know that if he grows up to be a happy man, then I will consider my life a success. There is so much more than that, but I can't put it into words. I hope people will one day remember me as someone they wanted in their life, however I fit into it; that I made them happier and more fulfilled by being there. The challenge is to live each day like that is the goal, and keep it in mind even when it seems like I have all the time in the world left to live.
In case you're unfamiliar, the book is basically Randy Pausch's way of saying goodbye and telling us what he has learned in life before succumbing to pancreatic cancer. He gave his "last lecture" to a packed auditorium at Carnegie Mellon on how to achieve your childhood dreams, and in doing so, divulged his secrets for leading a happy life. It may not be the most eloquently written, literary masterpiece out there, but it is an honest and thought provoking account of some of life's most important lessons.
When you hear about the circumstances in which he wrote this, you can't help but choke back tears. He was given a few months to live and say goodbye to his wife and three young children.
"There are so many things I want to tell my children, and right now, they're too young to understand. Dylan just turned six. Logan is three. Chloe is eighteen months old. I want the kids to know who I am, what I've always believed in, and all the ways in which I've come to love them. Given their ages, so much of this would be over their heads. I wish the kids could understand how desperately I don't want to leave them....It pains me to think that when they're older, they won't have a father. When I cry in the shower, I'm not usually thinking, 'I won't get to see them do this' or 'I won't get to see them do that.' I'm thinking about the kids not having a father."
Luckily for his kids, they will have ways to get a glimpse of what their dad was like, even if he isn't alive. They can read the book, they can watch videos, they can ask their mom to tell stories. And luckily, they will be proud of who he was. They will be glad to find out that he was truly happy and left with no regrets about how he lived his life. They will feel loved when they find out that he was madly in love with them and their mom.
This is what he had to say about his youngest, who was older than Timmy is now:
"I'm aware that Chloe may have no memory of me at all. She's too young. But I want her to grow up knowing that I was the first man ever to fall in love with her. I'd always thought the father/daughter thing was overstated. But I can tell you, it's real. Sometimes, she looks at me and I just become a puddle."
Wow.
So I think it's natural to wonder as you read this what legacy you would be leaving behind if you died today. I'm sure that's part of his reason for writing this book; giving his audience reason to pause and self-reflect. Maybe someone out there will think, "Hey, if I die tomorrow, I should really live it up today and tell the people I love what they mean to me and hope that they will remember me as a good person."
I've thought about this before. Although my Grandma's funeral last fall was the first funeral I've ever been to, it was the third funeral in my mom's immediate family. She told me how each one was different from the other; my Grandpa died when I was 3 after battling Leukemia for 15 years. While it was sad, my whole family had been glad to see him at peace after suffering for so long. In quite a different situation, my Aunt died completely unexpectedly when she was only 36. She passed away in her sleep (we think from a blood clot in her brain), leaving behind 4 kids, including a 9 day old daughter. There was nothing that could mitigate the unimaginable tragedy. I am told the funeral was a horrific scene. Finally, my Grandma died unexpectedly but after having lived a full, happy life. There were mixed emotions at the funeral: grief at her passing but celebration of the joy in her life.
My Aunt, Grandma and Grandpa all leave behind a legacy that they would be proud of. They had varying lengths of time to form the memories others had of them before they left. I'm not sure if they were abnormally good people or if time renders all memories of a deceased family member positive and glowing. I just know that I want to be remembered as half as good of a person as any of them. I want PJO to know when I'm gone that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I want my parents to know that I think I lucked out by being born to them and that I hope I can emulate lessons from them in raising my own family. I want Timmy to know that if he grows up to be a happy man, then I will consider my life a success. There is so much more than that, but I can't put it into words. I hope people will one day remember me as someone they wanted in their life, however I fit into it; that I made them happier and more fulfilled by being there. The challenge is to live each day like that is the goal, and keep it in mind even when it seems like I have all the time in the world left to live.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)