Very unlike the process of choosing a name for Timmy, PJO and I have "tentatively" agreed on a name for our baby girl. We have very specific requirements* for the names we pick for our children, so even after looking at the list of top 500 names, there are only a handful that we both like. I think we are less conflicted this time because (i) he's not as emotionally invested in girl names, (ii) the name I want is meaningful to me and (iii) we already have one name to sort of match it to and keep in line with.
My question is, when is a name "off-limits?" When I was pregnant with Timmy, I knew very few babies/toddlers, so I never worried about picking a name that a friend, neighbor or relative had already chosen. Luckily, I would never be tempted to pick one of my nieces' or nephews' names, but what about names your friends, co-workers or cousins have chosen? Does it make a difference if the two kids with the same name would be in the same circle of friends/playgroup/neighborhood/school? Does it make a difference if the name is different, but the nickname is the same?
Since we don't really want to tell anyone what the name is until the baby is born, I don't plan on asking the mom her thoughts. But is it rude to be a name-stealer? Who would the name have to belong to in order for you to not pick it?
*In case you're curious, they are generally that the name must: 1) be classic (i.e. in existence at least by the 1950s, preferably earlier) 2)not too popular (definitely not in the top 10, preferably not in the top 100) 3) lend itself to a good nickname 4) be good for a child AND an adult 5) be easy to spell and pronounce and 6) not be identified primarily with a particular religion or ethnicity. Very specific, but I think Timothy fits the bill perfectly, and I love our girl name for all the same reasons.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Things you don't want to see in your inbox
The email I got this morning from Mint.com:
You've gone over the $600.00 monthly budget you set for Gas & Fuel by $6.18 in May. Get back on track by updating your budgets or creating new ones.
There is still a week left in May and the price of gas has already been going down the past week or two.
I will be much happier when (a) a gallon of gas costs under $4 for regular and (b) when PJO and I drive less than a combined 750 miles per week.
You've gone over the $600.00 monthly budget you set for Gas & Fuel by $6.18 in May. Get back on track by updating your budgets or creating new ones.
There is still a week left in May and the price of gas has already been going down the past week or two.
I will be much happier when (a) a gallon of gas costs under $4 for regular and (b) when PJO and I drive less than a combined 750 miles per week.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Into the Swing of Things
It's almost June, which means I've been working at this job for over 7 months now, and I can finally say that I'm starting to feel integrated in this office and the work-flow. I've had a full, or full-enough plate since mid-March or so. With mid-May deadlines for pretty much everything I was working on, I was nervous that after a closing, filing date, client deadline and far too many 12+ hour days in a row, I was going to have nothing to do. Literally, nothing was lined up on my to-do list starting May 19th.
I didn't have time to start dreading the routine of knocking on office doors and begging people for work, but I was conscious that it was looming. Then, something new and magical happened. About 20 minutes after the closing call for the deal that had been taking up all my time, I was staffed on another new one. Then a bankruptcy matter I worked on in February revived enough to give me some hours of research. I marveled for a minute at my good luck, and then suddenly realized that this was how it is supposed to work. People are supposed to call you and keep you busy, and people that you do good work for are supposed to call you the next time something else comes up. Furthermore, this is what I was promised would happen by everyone back when I started. "It just takes a while to get integrated and ramp up" they would say. Or "January and February tend to be slow, but spring and summer are busy, so don't worry."
Now I finally breathing a small sigh of relief that maybe I won't have to start taking whatever projects are handed to me just to keep busy. Maybe I can finally say that I only want to work on transactional matters. I am finding that I really enjoy doing finance work. After this last deal that had borrowers in 5 different countries and various lending structures, I feel like I know something about something. Having a supervisor who cared about mentoring and teaching helped me learn a lot more than just what I needed to know for my role as a first year associate. And understanding just 70% of a conference call feels as gratifying as watching a commercial in Spanish after 1 semester of classes and realizing you actually understand what they're saying! I can't say that I'm sure I want to do this kind of work forever, but I really like it for now. And if I never have to use a Lexis password again, I will not shed a tear.
Of course, it kind of stinks that in under four months, I will suddenly fall off the face of the earth as far as these supervisors are concerned. I already know that I am missing the department retreat in September, the department holiday party in December and the busy months of September through December of work. In a way, I think it's better that I'm a relatively unknown, and completely replaceable, first year associate. All I'm really missing out on is the training and the chance to build up a good base knowledge so that people want to work with me as a second year associate. But then again, at least at my firm where people don't choose a department until the 3rd year, I won't automatically be behind my peers because I miss 4 months for maternity leave.
So while I am really, REALLY, looking forward to maternity leave, I am a little bit sad at the possibility that the ramp-up of the past 7 months will be for naught and I will have to beg and plead for work all over again next winter/spring when I return. But I guess being slow at work when I have a 3 year old and an infant won't be the worst thing in the world.
I didn't have time to start dreading the routine of knocking on office doors and begging people for work, but I was conscious that it was looming. Then, something new and magical happened. About 20 minutes after the closing call for the deal that had been taking up all my time, I was staffed on another new one. Then a bankruptcy matter I worked on in February revived enough to give me some hours of research. I marveled for a minute at my good luck, and then suddenly realized that this was how it is supposed to work. People are supposed to call you and keep you busy, and people that you do good work for are supposed to call you the next time something else comes up. Furthermore, this is what I was promised would happen by everyone back when I started. "It just takes a while to get integrated and ramp up" they would say. Or "January and February tend to be slow, but spring and summer are busy, so don't worry."
Now I finally breathing a small sigh of relief that maybe I won't have to start taking whatever projects are handed to me just to keep busy. Maybe I can finally say that I only want to work on transactional matters. I am finding that I really enjoy doing finance work. After this last deal that had borrowers in 5 different countries and various lending structures, I feel like I know something about something. Having a supervisor who cared about mentoring and teaching helped me learn a lot more than just what I needed to know for my role as a first year associate. And understanding just 70% of a conference call feels as gratifying as watching a commercial in Spanish after 1 semester of classes and realizing you actually understand what they're saying! I can't say that I'm sure I want to do this kind of work forever, but I really like it for now. And if I never have to use a Lexis password again, I will not shed a tear.
Of course, it kind of stinks that in under four months, I will suddenly fall off the face of the earth as far as these supervisors are concerned. I already know that I am missing the department retreat in September, the department holiday party in December and the busy months of September through December of work. In a way, I think it's better that I'm a relatively unknown, and completely replaceable, first year associate. All I'm really missing out on is the training and the chance to build up a good base knowledge so that people want to work with me as a second year associate. But then again, at least at my firm where people don't choose a department until the 3rd year, I won't automatically be behind my peers because I miss 4 months for maternity leave.
So while I am really, REALLY, looking forward to maternity leave, I am a little bit sad at the possibility that the ramp-up of the past 7 months will be for naught and I will have to beg and plead for work all over again next winter/spring when I return. But I guess being slow at work when I have a 3 year old and an infant won't be the worst thing in the world.
Monday, May 9, 2011
In defense of controlling
Yesterday might have been the best mother's day I will ever have. I think the holiday is a great one, an excuse for a reprieve from co-parenting to just bask in the wonderfulness of your child(ren) and to be pampered by your spouse (and I assume, eventually, by your kids). Unlike Valentines day, which I loathe, it's all about honoring and celebrating a part of the population that everyone can relate to on some level for the work, love and dedication that goes into the job. Unlike birthdays, which I am pretty ambivalent about, the day celebrates something bigger and more important than just myself. And perhaps most importantly, it's not about presents (usually), but rather showing appreciation and love.
I love going out on Mother's day and having people everywhere say "Happy Mother's Day" to me with a smile because I know they're thinking of someone in their life that meant a lot to them. I love spending quality time with my son and not having it tainted by the possibility that I'll have to deal with tantrums or cleaning up messes. I love having an excuse to do whatever I want for the entire day. And I also appreciate that it reminds me to comfort cousins and friends who have lost their mothers and friends who have lost their children.
Since this was my third mother's day, I had learned a thing or two about what to expect. Someone (older and wiser than me) told me that every husband wants to do something special for their wife, but they usually have no clue how to make her feel special. Therefore, it's important to plan it out and be very specific about what you want. This is exactly what I did and I have to say, being a control freak worked well to my advantage.
Saturday, we all went down to visit my mom and brothers at the lake by her house and we had a fantastic time. Picnic in the shade followed by lots of sand castle building and water splashing.
On Sunday, Timmy slept in until 7 instead of bursting into my room at 5:45, ready to play. PJO occupied him so I could sleep in and then Timmy delivered "Mommy coffee" (starbucks) to me, watching intently as I took a sip to make sure it was satisfactory. I got cards from PJO and one from Timmy and #2. Then I took a long shower and leisurely got ready before we went to get breakfast at the farmer's market. We sat on the lawn, eating our pancakes and omelets while listening to a band and talking to other families near us. Before we left, Timmy went on the pony rides and we bought some delicious fruit.
When we headed back home, Timmy took a nap and I went out for some alone time. I got a pedicure, read a book in the sun, and went shopping (including a trip to the container store!). I got home just in time to snuggle with Timmy for a few minutes before he woke up, happy as could be. We finished the afternoon with a trip to the park to feed baby ducks and dinner at a yummy Mexican restaurant where I tried the chicken mole tamales (MMMM).
Really, it would have been beyond perfection if I could have watched a movie on the couch with PJO last night instead of working, but I won't complain!
Being a mother is a decidedly un-glamorous job. Fulfilling and amazing, but definitely not glamorous. It's wonderful to be treated like a queen (by everyone, not just your own family) one day out of the year and to share it with all the other mothers out there. I hope everyone else had a great mother's day too!
I love going out on Mother's day and having people everywhere say "Happy Mother's Day" to me with a smile because I know they're thinking of someone in their life that meant a lot to them. I love spending quality time with my son and not having it tainted by the possibility that I'll have to deal with tantrums or cleaning up messes. I love having an excuse to do whatever I want for the entire day. And I also appreciate that it reminds me to comfort cousins and friends who have lost their mothers and friends who have lost their children.
Since this was my third mother's day, I had learned a thing or two about what to expect. Someone (older and wiser than me) told me that every husband wants to do something special for their wife, but they usually have no clue how to make her feel special. Therefore, it's important to plan it out and be very specific about what you want. This is exactly what I did and I have to say, being a control freak worked well to my advantage.
Saturday, we all went down to visit my mom and brothers at the lake by her house and we had a fantastic time. Picnic in the shade followed by lots of sand castle building and water splashing.
On Sunday, Timmy slept in until 7 instead of bursting into my room at 5:45, ready to play. PJO occupied him so I could sleep in and then Timmy delivered "Mommy coffee" (starbucks) to me, watching intently as I took a sip to make sure it was satisfactory. I got cards from PJO and one from Timmy and #2. Then I took a long shower and leisurely got ready before we went to get breakfast at the farmer's market. We sat on the lawn, eating our pancakes and omelets while listening to a band and talking to other families near us. Before we left, Timmy went on the pony rides and we bought some delicious fruit.
When we headed back home, Timmy took a nap and I went out for some alone time. I got a pedicure, read a book in the sun, and went shopping (including a trip to the container store!). I got home just in time to snuggle with Timmy for a few minutes before he woke up, happy as could be. We finished the afternoon with a trip to the park to feed baby ducks and dinner at a yummy Mexican restaurant where I tried the chicken mole tamales (MMMM).
Really, it would have been beyond perfection if I could have watched a movie on the couch with PJO last night instead of working, but I won't complain!
Being a mother is a decidedly un-glamorous job. Fulfilling and amazing, but definitely not glamorous. It's wonderful to be treated like a queen (by everyone, not just your own family) one day out of the year and to share it with all the other mothers out there. I hope everyone else had a great mother's day too!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Modesty
After the ultrasound this morning, it's still unclear whether Timmy will be getting a little brother or sister in September. As everyone else jokes, surely this is a sign of modesty and/or stubbornness, in which case it must be a girl. (and for the record, my gut instinct is saying girl).
Normally, I wouldn't get another ultrasound until 36 weeks, but my doctor said she would look again at my next appointment if I want her to. I keep thinking about how crazy I would have gone if I had to be this patient with my first pregnancy. Part of me wants to just wait and be surprised in the delivery room, but I've already squinted at enough ultrasound pictures to feel like I need to know the gender sooner. And as long as baby #2 is boy/girl/he/she, PJO refuses to even listen to me discuss names, much less contribute to the conversation. Given that we have no room for any extra baby stuff in our tiny apartment, much less a nursery to decorate, I don't care about any of the buying/decorating aspects of finding out boy or girl. I just want to be able to doodle names and practice saying them out loud and get used to the idea that the "it" kicking up a storm in my belly is going to be a son or daughter that I will find it hard to believe I ever knew as anything other than the name we eventually pick out.
Update:
I am crazy. This afternoon, on a whim, I called one of those ultrasound places and scheduled an appointment for a "gender determination." I didn't want to be the annoying patient asking for yet another ultrasound at my next visit, dragging out a visit before work when they inevitably make me wait for the ultrasound room (or risk paying what insurance might charge for an unnecessary ultrasound), so I just went on my own. In about 2 minutes, I had my answer. And now, I have very close up and detailed 8x10 prints of a vagina. The tech told me that his accuracy rate is 99%, but he would venture to guess that his rate will improve after this prediction. So I guess I do have some sort of mother's intuition...I'm 2 for 2 on my gut instinct for babies' gender.
Normally, I wouldn't get another ultrasound until 36 weeks, but my doctor said she would look again at my next appointment if I want her to. I keep thinking about how crazy I would have gone if I had to be this patient with my first pregnancy. Part of me wants to just wait and be surprised in the delivery room, but I've already squinted at enough ultrasound pictures to feel like I need to know the gender sooner. And as long as baby #2 is boy/girl/he/she, PJO refuses to even listen to me discuss names, much less contribute to the conversation. Given that we have no room for any extra baby stuff in our tiny apartment, much less a nursery to decorate, I don't care about any of the buying/decorating aspects of finding out boy or girl. I just want to be able to doodle names and practice saying them out loud and get used to the idea that the "it" kicking up a storm in my belly is going to be a son or daughter that I will find it hard to believe I ever knew as anything other than the name we eventually pick out.
Update:
I am crazy. This afternoon, on a whim, I called one of those ultrasound places and scheduled an appointment for a "gender determination." I didn't want to be the annoying patient asking for yet another ultrasound at my next visit, dragging out a visit before work when they inevitably make me wait for the ultrasound room (or risk paying what insurance might charge for an unnecessary ultrasound), so I just went on my own. In about 2 minutes, I had my answer. And now, I have very close up and detailed 8x10 prints of a vagina. The tech told me that his accuracy rate is 99%, but he would venture to guess that his rate will improve after this prediction. So I guess I do have some sort of mother's intuition...I'm 2 for 2 on my gut instinct for babies' gender.
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