My mind has been letting loose and running wild. I had a nightmare this week that I was pregnant, due on my start date with the firm. (Technically then, I guess this must have been a few months from now. Shit, note to self - get some amazing birth control, stat!)
I called my boss to tell her and was sobbing as I explained that I didn't know what to do, and no, it wasn't planned and omg, were they going to fire me?!?! In my dream, she was a total bitch and basically said that she would have to ask the firm if they could let me start even later. I was traumatized. Not even a little bit excited that we would be having another baby.
When I woke up, I was cautiously optimistic that it had been a dream, but it still took a good five minutes for my heart to stop beating so fast.
Then there are my day dreams. I don't think that is really the appropriate phrase to use because I tend to think of those as wishful thinking about the imminent future. This is pretty much the opposite of that. My days are punctuated almost hourly with sudden dread about getting my bar results. Alternating with the dread is the anxious impatience to just find out already. I still have two weeks to go, but "Passed!" and "Esquire!" are splattered all over my Facebook feed. Seriously, is anyone else still waiting to find out whether they passed the July 2009 Bar Exam? Ugh, sometimes I hate California.
So I need some distractions for the next few weeks. Lucky for me, Timmy is teething in a bad way. It's like he knew that I needed to be prevented from ever thinking about anything but him AND I needed birth control! What a sweet, thoughtful boy I have!
2 comments:
Wow, sorry you have to wait so long to get your results- is there just more people taking the exams in CA?
I HATE those kind of dreams! I never know I'm having a dream when I'm dreaming. My mind is convinced that all my dreams are reality no matter how weird they are- until I finally wake up. Hang in there and enjoy TIMMY!
Scary dream! I hate work dreams.
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