So, I've been in a funk lately. Like for weeks. I just can't seem to shake my dismal mood--or even pinpoint what's causing it.
Maybe it's the general chaos that defines my life. We have stuff going nearly every night of the week with the kids' sports and end-of-year activities at school. I desperately need to go to the grocery store, but I don't know when I'm every going to fit it in.
Maybe its the extended family drama that is in fact so dramatic that I won't even blog about it (you should know that's bad, given what I have written about my family!)
Maybe it's work. I've been super busy lately. And one of my bosses has been on a rampage for some unknown reason. He doesn't harass me too much, but he has been beating our shared secretary down. I feel sorry for her--and it makes it more challenging for my work to get done.
Maybe it's my own expectations for myself. That I have to do it all. Be the mom who's at every single event, and the soccer coach, and the attorney who takes on extra pro bono cases, and the lawyer for family members who find themselves in deep water, and be the attorney at work that always manages to fit in whatever is asked of her and gives whatever is required.
DH says I'm a workaholic. I'm not. But I constantly feel like I have to prove myself. Like I'm never giving enough to anybody, even when I'm giving everything I've got. And I can't stop, slow down, relax until I've given everything that I can. And I still feel like the kids don't think I'm doing enough for them and my boss doesn't think I do enough for him.
I wake up in the middle of the night, every night, working out some problem, or realizing a problem that I hadn't noticed during the chaotic daytime hours.
I don't really know what to change or do differently. I don't know how to slow down. Hopefully summer will help.
This weekend did not. We drove to Hometown, and had more relatives to see than we had time to fit in. And I spent a good chunk of my time there doing legal work for a family member while DH carted the kids around town to see his side of the family.
By the time we left this morning, I was even more stressed and cranky. DH and I fought because we were leaving town too late, fought about what to get for breakfast, fought about how to tie down the trailer we were hauling back with a buffet that belonged to his mother.
We were 2 hours into our seven-hour trip before we started speaking. And then we stopped for lunch. And DH jackknifed the trailer and ripped a hole in the side of my beloved Armada. (Seriously, I love that car. A lot.)
And then I yelled at him, even though I shouldn't have because it was an accident and no one was hurt and it's all fixable.
And then it was another 2 hours before we spoke again, when I finally reassured him that I loved him more than my car, even though I really, really love my car.
So, it's been a crappy few weeks, topped off with a crappy weekend. I'm kind of afraid to see what this week brings.
5/28/12
5/12/12
Poor, Pitiful Me
I am so tired of taking care of other people.
I'm not talking about my kids either. I'm supposed to take care of them and I love doing it. Sometimes I wish they needed me to take care of them more. They're just so darn independent these days.
It's everybody else. The adults who should be capable of taking care of their own problems. I'm tired of being the responsible, dependable one. The one with the answers. The one who knows how to take care of things.
The shit is hitting the fan on the extended family front. There is some really bad stuff going on with my grandparents, and so I am getting frequent calls for help and advice. My mother refuses to deal with it at all, burying her head in the sand and leaving her siblings to handle the mess. I think she inherited her narcissism from her father, who is the root of this problem.
And another close family member has gotten into serious hot water, leaving me spending half of the last week dealing with those issues, and traveling to Hometown next week for an emergency hearing.
Blessedly, most of our events for this weekend were cancelled due to the weather, giving us the first free weekend in weeks. I've spent my rainy day re-reading Mockingjay (TT wants to read the series and so I am refreshing my memory and keeping her 10-year-old perspective in mind to determine if I will let her) and watching Pretty in Pink while I work on a digital photo album.
Sometime this weekend I am supposed to watch The Princess Diaries with SS while we do our nails. She is my only girly-girl. The other two do not understand the point of nail polish.
And then I've got to prepare for that hearing. Yay.
I'm not talking about my kids either. I'm supposed to take care of them and I love doing it. Sometimes I wish they needed me to take care of them more. They're just so darn independent these days.
It's everybody else. The adults who should be capable of taking care of their own problems. I'm tired of being the responsible, dependable one. The one with the answers. The one who knows how to take care of things.
The shit is hitting the fan on the extended family front. There is some really bad stuff going on with my grandparents, and so I am getting frequent calls for help and advice. My mother refuses to deal with it at all, burying her head in the sand and leaving her siblings to handle the mess. I think she inherited her narcissism from her father, who is the root of this problem.
And another close family member has gotten into serious hot water, leaving me spending half of the last week dealing with those issues, and traveling to Hometown next week for an emergency hearing.
Blessedly, most of our events for this weekend were cancelled due to the weather, giving us the first free weekend in weeks. I've spent my rainy day re-reading Mockingjay (TT wants to read the series and so I am refreshing my memory and keeping her 10-year-old perspective in mind to determine if I will let her) and watching Pretty in Pink while I work on a digital photo album.
Sometime this weekend I am supposed to watch The Princess Diaries with SS while we do our nails. She is my only girly-girl. The other two do not understand the point of nail polish.
And then I've got to prepare for that hearing. Yay.
5/3/12
Asshole Attorneys
Twice in the last several weeks I've had to deal with chauvinist asshole male attorneys. Both tried to circumvent me and go straight to my boss. It didn't work out well for either of them.
Asshole 1
A couple of weeks ago, Asshole 1 left an urgent voicemail for Big Boss while he was out of the office. Big Boss forwarded the voicemail to me to handle. In fact, I am the designated attorney in charge of the case and should have been contacted in the first place. I returned Asshole 1's call promptly, only to be put into his voicemail.
Big Boss returned from his trip and had a second call from Asshole 1. "LC, I though I forwarded that vm to you?" he said. "You did, and I tried to return his call and got no response," I said.
So we both called Asshole 1. Big Boss informed him that I was the attorney in charge and that he needed to contact me. Asshole 1 tried to play it off. The next day I emailed Asshole 1. Asshole 1 gave me curt, totally nonresponsive answers.
Me: "Will you sign an agreed motion?"
Him: "I don't think we need an agreed motion?"
Me: "We want one anyway, will you sign?"
Him: no response
A week later...
Me: "Are you going to sign the agreed motion so we can wrap this up?"
Him: "We will not oppose the motion."
I tried to call him, he refused to take my call.
Me: "Not opposing is not the same as agreeing. Will you sign the agreed motion?" (Apparently this only makes sense to lawyers, DH did not get this.)
He finally agreed, but is now taking his sweet time returning it to me. I have no idea why this guy refuses to deal with me, other than he's just an asshole.
Asshole 2
Again, went directly to my boss on a matter I was exclusively handling. Told Big Boss that I had not returned his phone calls (that he never made!) and he needed answers regarding a non-party discovery request. Big Boss told him that it my case, he needed to talk to me, and if he didn't like the way I was handling this matter, he needed to take it up with the court.
Maybe these guys are just assholes and not really chauvinists. But I don't see the guys in my office having these issues, and their actions go beyond typical attorney assholery. Thankfully, they are few and far between and my partners back me up.
Asshole 1
A couple of weeks ago, Asshole 1 left an urgent voicemail for Big Boss while he was out of the office. Big Boss forwarded the voicemail to me to handle. In fact, I am the designated attorney in charge of the case and should have been contacted in the first place. I returned Asshole 1's call promptly, only to be put into his voicemail.
Big Boss returned from his trip and had a second call from Asshole 1. "LC, I though I forwarded that vm to you?" he said. "You did, and I tried to return his call and got no response," I said.
So we both called Asshole 1. Big Boss informed him that I was the attorney in charge and that he needed to contact me. Asshole 1 tried to play it off. The next day I emailed Asshole 1. Asshole 1 gave me curt, totally nonresponsive answers.
Me: "Will you sign an agreed motion?"
Him: "I don't think we need an agreed motion?"
Me: "We want one anyway, will you sign?"
Him: no response
A week later...
Me: "Are you going to sign the agreed motion so we can wrap this up?"
Him: "We will not oppose the motion."
I tried to call him, he refused to take my call.
Me: "Not opposing is not the same as agreeing. Will you sign the agreed motion?" (Apparently this only makes sense to lawyers, DH did not get this.)
He finally agreed, but is now taking his sweet time returning it to me. I have no idea why this guy refuses to deal with me, other than he's just an asshole.
Asshole 2
Again, went directly to my boss on a matter I was exclusively handling. Told Big Boss that I had not returned his phone calls (that he never made!) and he needed answers regarding a non-party discovery request. Big Boss told him that it my case, he needed to talk to me, and if he didn't like the way I was handling this matter, he needed to take it up with the court.
Maybe these guys are just assholes and not really chauvinists. But I don't see the guys in my office having these issues, and their actions go beyond typical attorney assholery. Thankfully, they are few and far between and my partners back me up.
4/28/12
Victories!
The School District
I spoke at the school board meeting two weeks ago about the hazardous weather policies. The meeting room was packed--standing room only because they were honoring a bunch of kids for various achievements. My turn to speak came early in the meeting and you could have heard a pin drop when I was done.
I could tell that the school board was listening intently. The superintendent turned red and was shooting daggers at me. I couldn't judge the audience's reaction because my back was to them, but when I returned to my seat, the man who as sitting next to me reached over, grabbed my arm, and said "you did a really good job."
The meeting carried on and I stayed until the end, when everyone was released so that the board could do business not subject to the open-meetings laws. And as I was leaving, two different board members came up to me and assured me that my message was heard and that something would be done. They weren't technically allowed to respond to me at all. And one of them indicated that this was the first he had heard about this whole situation. (Odd, since I had copied them all on my original correspondence. It seems as though the school district is filtering what gets through to the board.)
So, this week I received a letter from the school board. They are instituting new emergency procedures, creating an emergency operations center so that all key decision makers will be in the same room during an emergency, and purchasing a two-way radio system so that the administrators can communicate with each school during emergencies, even if there is a power outage.
I am thrilled with this result and proud to be able to show my kids that you can make change happen if you are determined.
Soccer
We won our first game this week! Although it was a bit hollow, because we were playing my twins' team, and our team is much bigger than theirs. We pummeled them, even though I intentionally played my girls in their lease effective positions the second half. But my girls are really improving and coming together as a team. I know I'm not the best coach in the world (hell, I'm still not straight on all the rules!), but I do think I'm good at letting my girls know when they do well. They are all in the awkward pubescent stage, and you can just tell that some of them really need that extra boost of confidence they get when they doing something great on the soccer field.
Fatness
I've lost about 10 pounds recently, without really trying. I'm below where I was when I was sticking to the super-strict nutrisystem diet. I think it's in large part because I quit buying bread. I still buy sandwich bread, but no garlic bread or dinner rolls. I love bread. I could seriously eat it to the exclusion of everything else, and I was adding bread to our meals every night. So I guess cutting it out is a good thing.
Probably being on the soccer fields instead of at home in front of a computer or tv helps, too. And since PS and TT are trying out volleyball and softball, both new sports to them, we've been spending lots of time in the yard practicing their various sports.
I spoke at the school board meeting two weeks ago about the hazardous weather policies. The meeting room was packed--standing room only because they were honoring a bunch of kids for various achievements. My turn to speak came early in the meeting and you could have heard a pin drop when I was done.
I could tell that the school board was listening intently. The superintendent turned red and was shooting daggers at me. I couldn't judge the audience's reaction because my back was to them, but when I returned to my seat, the man who as sitting next to me reached over, grabbed my arm, and said "you did a really good job."
The meeting carried on and I stayed until the end, when everyone was released so that the board could do business not subject to the open-meetings laws. And as I was leaving, two different board members came up to me and assured me that my message was heard and that something would be done. They weren't technically allowed to respond to me at all. And one of them indicated that this was the first he had heard about this whole situation. (Odd, since I had copied them all on my original correspondence. It seems as though the school district is filtering what gets through to the board.)
So, this week I received a letter from the school board. They are instituting new emergency procedures, creating an emergency operations center so that all key decision makers will be in the same room during an emergency, and purchasing a two-way radio system so that the administrators can communicate with each school during emergencies, even if there is a power outage.
I am thrilled with this result and proud to be able to show my kids that you can make change happen if you are determined.
Soccer
We won our first game this week! Although it was a bit hollow, because we were playing my twins' team, and our team is much bigger than theirs. We pummeled them, even though I intentionally played my girls in their lease effective positions the second half. But my girls are really improving and coming together as a team. I know I'm not the best coach in the world (hell, I'm still not straight on all the rules!), but I do think I'm good at letting my girls know when they do well. They are all in the awkward pubescent stage, and you can just tell that some of them really need that extra boost of confidence they get when they doing something great on the soccer field.
Fatness
I've lost about 10 pounds recently, without really trying. I'm below where I was when I was sticking to the super-strict nutrisystem diet. I think it's in large part because I quit buying bread. I still buy sandwich bread, but no garlic bread or dinner rolls. I love bread. I could seriously eat it to the exclusion of everything else, and I was adding bread to our meals every night. So I guess cutting it out is a good thing.
Probably being on the soccer fields instead of at home in front of a computer or tv helps, too. And since PS and TT are trying out volleyball and softball, both new sports to them, we've been spending lots of time in the yard practicing their various sports.
4/25/12
Mediation Frustration
I generally think mediation is a good thing. It gets the parties to the table and gives them the chance to settle their differences before incurring the expense of trial. Most of the mediations I participate in are court-ordered or contractually required because clients never really want to go to mediation.
And clients are never happy when they leave a mediation. No matter how much I try to limit expectations, or how many times I tell my clients that mediation means compromise and every party has to give up a little more than he really wants, they are never really satisfied after a mediation. Because they had to give up a little more than they wanted, just like I warned.
They don't realize that the saved tens of thousands of dollars (or more) in attorney's fees. Or that they have a bird in the hand instead of a shot at trial.
It's just so frustrating to know that you got a really good result that was truly in your client's best interest and to have the client remain dissatisfied.
And clients are never happy when they leave a mediation. No matter how much I try to limit expectations, or how many times I tell my clients that mediation means compromise and every party has to give up a little more than he really wants, they are never really satisfied after a mediation. Because they had to give up a little more than they wanted, just like I warned.
They don't realize that the saved tens of thousands of dollars (or more) in attorney's fees. Or that they have a bird in the hand instead of a shot at trial.
It's just so frustrating to know that you got a really good result that was truly in your client's best interest and to have the client remain dissatisfied.
4/23/12
Don't Do Yard Work in Your PJs
Really, I'm not a crazy old cat lady.
Tonight I came home from work and immediately changed into my comfy ladybug PJ shorts. And then I remembered that my car smelled like a forest because it still had cedar mulch in the back that I had never unloaded. So I ran out to unload the mulch. Then I decided that it didn't really take that much time to put down the mulch, so I would just run around front and spread it real quick.
Then PS's BFF came walking by and stopped for a chat.
Then my neighbor came out front with her daughter and stopped for a chat.
Then the girl scout leader came by the drop off a birthday party invitation for the twins.
All while I was mulching the yard in my pjs.
So if you ever think that you'll just be out in your PJ's for a second, just stop. Because there is no surer way to ensure that all of your neighbors will want to chat than to wander outside in your pajamas. I'm just thankful I was still wearing a bra.
Tonight I came home from work and immediately changed into my comfy ladybug PJ shorts. And then I remembered that my car smelled like a forest because it still had cedar mulch in the back that I had never unloaded. So I ran out to unload the mulch. Then I decided that it didn't really take that much time to put down the mulch, so I would just run around front and spread it real quick.
Then PS's BFF came walking by and stopped for a chat.
Then my neighbor came out front with her daughter and stopped for a chat.
Then the girl scout leader came by the drop off a birthday party invitation for the twins.
All while I was mulching the yard in my pjs.
So if you ever think that you'll just be out in your PJ's for a second, just stop. Because there is no surer way to ensure that all of your neighbors will want to chat than to wander outside in your pajamas. I'm just thankful I was still wearing a bra.
4/22/12
RIP Play Fort
We disassembled the girls' play fort yesterday. It made me sad. I distinctly remember when we put it up 7 years ago--it took an entire weekend. The twins were 3 and PS was 5. It cost what was a small fortune for us back then--when we were still single-income family. I think we used our tax return to buy it (oh how I miss looking forward to doing my taxes and getting that extra little bump). But it was worth every cent. The kids played on it endlessly, and sometimes half the neighborhood would be in out back yard. In the summer, the kids would turn on the hose to make a water slide.
But the kids are bigger, and don't play on it anymore. They're too big for swings and slides. And they want the yard to practice soccer and volleyball and softball. Our yard is big, but for some inexplicable reason, we built the fort dead center--and once it was up there was no moving it.
And it had fallen into increasingly greater states of disrepair. When we started taking it apart, we were surprised at how brittle the wood had become. It was only a matter of time until someone got hurt climbing on it.
And so it came down. And our yard is now a huge empty field, perfect for sports. And my daughters are no longer little girls in pigtails yelling "Mommy, push me! Higher! Higher!"
But the kids are bigger, and don't play on it anymore. They're too big for swings and slides. And they want the yard to practice soccer and volleyball and softball. Our yard is big, but for some inexplicable reason, we built the fort dead center--and once it was up there was no moving it.
And it had fallen into increasingly greater states of disrepair. When we started taking it apart, we were surprised at how brittle the wood had become. It was only a matter of time until someone got hurt climbing on it.
And so it came down. And our yard is now a huge empty field, perfect for sports. And my daughters are no longer little girls in pigtails yelling "Mommy, push me! Higher! Higher!"
4/15/12
Settlement, Schools, Soccer and Bottle Caps
Wow this week was a whirlwind. Most of it was spent trying to settle a case with a trial setting on Monday that was never supposed to go to trial in the first place. The opposing party (the client, not the attorney) made things unnecessarily difficult, and I spent more time on this settlement agreement that I have on cases with 20 times the value. All the while, having to continue with trial prep. Fortunately, I was far more confident in my ability to go to trial with 1 week's preparation that my opponent, and in the end, we got it done. But the moral of this story: don't count on your agreed motions until signed by the court.
I also managed to settle another case and have continued to wage battle with the school district. They refuse to put a hazardous weather policy revision on the agenda for the next school board meeting. But I can speak as a member of the community. And so I will, and I will continue to pursue this until the policy is modified, but this is far more difficult than I anticipated. What exactly is more important than ensuring that kids aren't released to go home alone in the middle of tornadic storms? This shouldn't be a controversial subject.
And PS went to the ortho, who said that her break was slightly more serious than the ER led us to believe, so she was put in a real cast that she has to keep for 6 weeks. (We paid an extra $25 for a waterproof cast that she can swim in or wear in the shower--I had no idea there was such a thing!) TT was sent home sick on Tuesday and stayed home Wednesday, too. SS started feeling bad on Thursday and stayed home Friday. I felt like crap on Friday and wanted to stay home, but I had to settle my damn case.
The weekend hasn't been much more restful. We were up at 8 yesterday to make sure PS got to volunteer orientation at the library at 9. But the library wasn't even open at 9. At 10 TT had soccer and I took PS back by the library for orientation, to learn that it wasn't until 1. Back to soccer fields until 11, quick unhealthy lunch, back at soccer fields at 12 for my game. And we only had 7 players! We are supposed to have 10 on the field! PS is out and two others told me that they would be out, but we still should have had a full team plus 1 sub. We had to borrow TT and a girl from the other team just to start. (Rec league, I've never seen a forfeit.) Two others eventually showed up, and it worked out ok.We lost, again, but we are getting so much better, and we took lots of shots on their goal. And a couple of our girls got great self-esteem boosts, which is all I really care about. By this age range, all of the really good players have moved on to club soccer.)
DH left at 12:45 to take PS back to the library (3rd time today!), while I finished up the game. Then I went to buy supplies for PS bottle cap fundraiser project. Holy cow those supplies were pricey! We would have been much better off if we had more notice and could have ordered online. I told her that I would donate the supplies, and I hope she earns enough to clear what I've spent.
Then to Target for necessaries and swimsuit shopping for the twins because they have a camping trip next week for which they insist they need new swimsuits. Finally back home at 4 and spent the rest of the day with my girlies working on the bottle caps.
Hopefully today is a little more relaxing. But PS is supposed to have friends over to work on the bottle cap project, so we'll see.
I also managed to settle another case and have continued to wage battle with the school district. They refuse to put a hazardous weather policy revision on the agenda for the next school board meeting. But I can speak as a member of the community. And so I will, and I will continue to pursue this until the policy is modified, but this is far more difficult than I anticipated. What exactly is more important than ensuring that kids aren't released to go home alone in the middle of tornadic storms? This shouldn't be a controversial subject.
And PS went to the ortho, who said that her break was slightly more serious than the ER led us to believe, so she was put in a real cast that she has to keep for 6 weeks. (We paid an extra $25 for a waterproof cast that she can swim in or wear in the shower--I had no idea there was such a thing!) TT was sent home sick on Tuesday and stayed home Wednesday, too. SS started feeling bad on Thursday and stayed home Friday. I felt like crap on Friday and wanted to stay home, but I had to settle my damn case.
The weekend hasn't been much more restful. We were up at 8 yesterday to make sure PS got to volunteer orientation at the library at 9. But the library wasn't even open at 9. At 10 TT had soccer and I took PS back by the library for orientation, to learn that it wasn't until 1. Back to soccer fields until 11, quick unhealthy lunch, back at soccer fields at 12 for my game. And we only had 7 players! We are supposed to have 10 on the field! PS is out and two others told me that they would be out, but we still should have had a full team plus 1 sub. We had to borrow TT and a girl from the other team just to start. (Rec league, I've never seen a forfeit.) Two others eventually showed up, and it worked out ok.We lost, again, but we are getting so much better, and we took lots of shots on their goal. And a couple of our girls got great self-esteem boosts, which is all I really care about. By this age range, all of the really good players have moved on to club soccer.)
DH left at 12:45 to take PS back to the library (3rd time today!), while I finished up the game. Then I went to buy supplies for PS bottle cap fundraiser project. Holy cow those supplies were pricey! We would have been much better off if we had more notice and could have ordered online. I told her that I would donate the supplies, and I hope she earns enough to clear what I've spent.
Then to Target for necessaries and swimsuit shopping for the twins because they have a camping trip next week for which they insist they need new swimsuits. Finally back home at 4 and spent the rest of the day with my girlies working on the bottle caps.
Hopefully today is a little more relaxing. But PS is supposed to have friends over to work on the bottle cap project, so we'll see.
4/13/12
It sucks when your mom is a lawyer
So PS decided to come up with a fundraiser to do for NJHS that would to benefit the victims of a recent disaster in our area (which I may or may not have mentioned recently). She came up with the idea all on her own, came up with a plan, presented it to her NJHS sponsor and got approval. She and a group of buddies will be making bottle cap necklaces to sell at school during their free time.
When she asked where to get images to put on the necklaces, I suggested etsy. She found tons, and was so excited, "Look, they have some with Hunger Games, and Harry Potter and even Nightmare Before Christmas (her favorite movie of all time.)"
And then I said, "we can't buy those image because they are all licensed or copyrighted."
Now I am not an IP lawyer and don't really know anything about copyright. But I'm pretty darn sure that Katniss and Peeta straight from the movie poster are not freely available for anyone who wants to turn into a 1" circle and sell for $2 to anyone dumb enough to pay it.
I did eventually find sellers generating their own artwork and found lots of cute stuff. But I think PS is a little miffed that I shot down the coolest stuff.
When she asked where to get images to put on the necklaces, I suggested etsy. She found tons, and was so excited, "Look, they have some with Hunger Games, and Harry Potter and even Nightmare Before Christmas (her favorite movie of all time.)"
And then I said, "we can't buy those image because they are all licensed or copyrighted."
Now I am not an IP lawyer and don't really know anything about copyright. But I'm pretty darn sure that Katniss and Peeta straight from the movie poster are not freely available for anyone who wants to turn into a 1" circle and sell for $2 to anyone dumb enough to pay it.
I did eventually find sellers generating their own artwork and found lots of cute stuff. But I think PS is a little miffed that I shot down the coolest stuff.
4/5/12
Week from Hell
So I wrote to the superintendent and the school board, and copied our two local newspapers. Both newspapers asked to print my letter, and a full 36 hours later I got a lame response from the superintendent. I'm going to have to keep pushing this issue and demand that a discussion of their severe weather policies be added to the agenda for the next school board meeting.
Meanwhile, PS fell today while rollerblading in PE and broke her arm. (My brother said "Why are they roller blading at school? So they can get away from the tornadoes faster when the bus drops them off?") So I got to work at 9, and then got a call at 10 to come get her and spent the next few hours in the ER.
The second I got home, Big Boss started calling, and I swear either he or Secretary called me every 5 minutes for the next two hours. Apparently the second I left the office all hell broke loose. I have a case set for trial on April 16th, but just asked the court to abate while the parties work out a settlement plan. The court said no. So now I have to start trial prep ASAP, because I don't think the opposing party is going to get their act together beforehand. I would be psyched to go to trial--I have a solid case the the defendants have no defenses--but I know it's just going to be a bunch of prep work for something that never happens.
Then I had soccer practice. With PS's arm, I am now coaching a team on which none of my own children are playing. How the heck did this happen?
Back home trying to draft a joint motion for continuance that the court probably will not grant since it didn't grant my joint motion to abate. Don't really have a good argument.
I need to be in my office first thing in the morning, but I have a hair appointment and its too late to cancel (plus my grey roots are a nightmare). Oh well, how much difference will it make whether I'm there at 9 or 10?
So glad tomorrow's Friday, but as of this moment, it looks like I will be spending my weekend drafting my examination questions and motions in limine. Whee!
Meanwhile, PS fell today while rollerblading in PE and broke her arm. (My brother said "Why are they roller blading at school? So they can get away from the tornadoes faster when the bus drops them off?") So I got to work at 9, and then got a call at 10 to come get her and spent the next few hours in the ER.
The second I got home, Big Boss started calling, and I swear either he or Secretary called me every 5 minutes for the next two hours. Apparently the second I left the office all hell broke loose. I have a case set for trial on April 16th, but just asked the court to abate while the parties work out a settlement plan. The court said no. So now I have to start trial prep ASAP, because I don't think the opposing party is going to get their act together beforehand. I would be psyched to go to trial--I have a solid case the the defendants have no defenses--but I know it's just going to be a bunch of prep work for something that never happens.
Then I had soccer practice. With PS's arm, I am now coaching a team on which none of my own children are playing. How the heck did this happen?
Back home trying to draft a joint motion for continuance that the court probably will not grant since it didn't grant my joint motion to abate. Don't really have a good argument.
I need to be in my office first thing in the morning, but I have a hair appointment and its too late to cancel (plus my grey roots are a nightmare). Oh well, how much difference will it make whether I'm there at 9 or 10?
So glad tomorrow's Friday, but as of this moment, it looks like I will be spending my weekend drafting my examination questions and motions in limine. Whee!
4/3/12
Mama Stress
Today goes down as one of the top 10 most stressful in my life.
Around 1:00 I got an email that soccer games were cancelled tonight. That seemed strange, since it wasn't raining. So I got online to check the weather and saw that there had been two tornado touchdowns nearby. Within minutes tornado sirens were going off around me. And shortly after that my building was evacuated to the ground floor. The upper floors of a glass building are not the place to be in a tornado.
The storms swung east and I was able to return to my office. But east was toward home--where my kids were. And I was blocked from them by a line of severe thunderstorms, hail, and tornadoes.
I took solace in the fact that the kids were still at school. That the school was surely safer than most any other place they could be. Any my nanny texted to let me know that she went to my house early.
And then tornadoes started to touch down within miles of my home and the kids' school. One was heading directly toward them. The meteorologist started naming off the schools it was heading toward and ours were in the path. It hit two schools in a neighboring town.
My paralegal (who lives in the same town and also had kids in school) and I just sat in my office watching in horror as the tornadoes headed toward our kids. We were helpless. There is not much worse in this world than watching a tornado move toward your kids and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
My only comfort was that the schools were safe buildings. PS was texting me that there were under their desks in lockdown. The school district sent emails that the kids would not be dismissed until the storms had passed.
But then, I got a text from SS saying "there is marble size hail and tornadoes all around us." I asked, "where are you?" And she said "in the closet under the stairs." At home. During a very short break between two lines of storms, my idiotic school district put my ten-year-olds on a bus and sent them home.
The sirens started going off again while they were on the bus. And so the idiotic bus driver dropped them at their stop and said "run as fast as you can to your house."
Thankfully my nanny was there. But how many kids did my idiotic school district send home to empty houses when there were tornadoes moving toward our town and neighborhood?
I am furious. The school district will be hearing from me tomorrow. What the fuck were they thinking?
In the end, we are all ok. I left work as soon as the tornadoes passed, and picked PS up from school at about 5:00. But it is horrifying to watch the aftermath on the news and imagine that my kids could have been in the middle of it all.
Around 1:00 I got an email that soccer games were cancelled tonight. That seemed strange, since it wasn't raining. So I got online to check the weather and saw that there had been two tornado touchdowns nearby. Within minutes tornado sirens were going off around me. And shortly after that my building was evacuated to the ground floor. The upper floors of a glass building are not the place to be in a tornado.
The storms swung east and I was able to return to my office. But east was toward home--where my kids were. And I was blocked from them by a line of severe thunderstorms, hail, and tornadoes.
I took solace in the fact that the kids were still at school. That the school was surely safer than most any other place they could be. Any my nanny texted to let me know that she went to my house early.
And then tornadoes started to touch down within miles of my home and the kids' school. One was heading directly toward them. The meteorologist started naming off the schools it was heading toward and ours were in the path. It hit two schools in a neighboring town.
My paralegal (who lives in the same town and also had kids in school) and I just sat in my office watching in horror as the tornadoes headed toward our kids. We were helpless. There is not much worse in this world than watching a tornado move toward your kids and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
My only comfort was that the schools were safe buildings. PS was texting me that there were under their desks in lockdown. The school district sent emails that the kids would not be dismissed until the storms had passed.
But then, I got a text from SS saying "there is marble size hail and tornadoes all around us." I asked, "where are you?" And she said "in the closet under the stairs." At home. During a very short break between two lines of storms, my idiotic school district put my ten-year-olds on a bus and sent them home.
The sirens started going off again while they were on the bus. And so the idiotic bus driver dropped them at their stop and said "run as fast as you can to your house."
Thankfully my nanny was there. But how many kids did my idiotic school district send home to empty houses when there were tornadoes moving toward our town and neighborhood?
I am furious. The school district will be hearing from me tomorrow. What the fuck were they thinking?
In the end, we are all ok. I left work as soon as the tornadoes passed, and picked PS up from school at about 5:00. But it is horrifying to watch the aftermath on the news and imagine that my kids could have been in the middle of it all.
4/1/12
Adventures in Soccer Coaching
I'm not sure what I envisioned this experience would be like before I jumped in with both feet, but it actually seems to be going ok. I was up front with the parents about my lack of experience, and so far they have all been really supportive. I think they're just thankful it's not them.
My team includes an age range from 10-14. Yes, that is a big range, and there is a huge range in the sizes of the girls. We have tiny girls that could pass for third-graders, and girls that are nearly my size. However, we are one of the bigger teams. The twins play in the same division and their team is much smaller than ours. And the team we played last week was much smaller.
But they still beat us. Because my girls are worried about hurting the smaller girls. So in our team scrimmage at practice this week, I put the biggest girls up against the smallest girls and talked to them about how size doesn't matter and your job is to keep the ball away from the other team no matter their size. In fact, the best player on our team is one of the smallest. She's a little powerhouse.
And then we played reverse dodge-ball--because all of the girls were ducking whenever a ball came sailing toward them. So I let them chuck balls at each other and the goal was to stop it without using their hands. (I had to text my SIL to ask how to stop a ball with your chest without hurting your boobs.)
And we worked on throw-ins because I hadn't covered that before our first game, and we kept getting called on improper throw-ins. Oops. Who knew the soccer rules were so dang specific about how you can throw in the ball.
So, I am definitely not the best soccer coach in the world, and our team is not going to be taking home the World Cup anytime soon, but we're having fun and the girls are doing great, especially considering the incompetence of their leadership.
My team includes an age range from 10-14. Yes, that is a big range, and there is a huge range in the sizes of the girls. We have tiny girls that could pass for third-graders, and girls that are nearly my size. However, we are one of the bigger teams. The twins play in the same division and their team is much smaller than ours. And the team we played last week was much smaller.
But they still beat us. Because my girls are worried about hurting the smaller girls. So in our team scrimmage at practice this week, I put the biggest girls up against the smallest girls and talked to them about how size doesn't matter and your job is to keep the ball away from the other team no matter their size. In fact, the best player on our team is one of the smallest. She's a little powerhouse.
And then we played reverse dodge-ball--because all of the girls were ducking whenever a ball came sailing toward them. So I let them chuck balls at each other and the goal was to stop it without using their hands. (I had to text my SIL to ask how to stop a ball with your chest without hurting your boobs.)
And we worked on throw-ins because I hadn't covered that before our first game, and we kept getting called on improper throw-ins. Oops. Who knew the soccer rules were so dang specific about how you can throw in the ball.
So, I am definitely not the best soccer coach in the world, and our team is not going to be taking home the World Cup anytime soon, but we're having fun and the girls are doing great, especially considering the incompetence of their leadership.
3/31/12
Growing Up
She has grown several inches taller over the last year, finally surpassing the 5-foot mark.She used to be the smallest in her class, and while she's still on the smaller end of the spectrum, she's no longer the smallest. And she's filled out. We can finally buy junior's sizes in regular stores, instead of having to head out to junior's specialty stores. (There is a huge difference between an Old Navy size 0 and an AF or Delia's* size 0.)
She has developed her own unique sense of style. It trends a little goth, with a lot of black and skulls, but without the black eyeliner and Docs. And lots of ironic T-shirts. Our latest purchase is a pair of black Chuck Taylors.
And she has started spending more time with friends and less time with mom. She's had a phone for a while, but only over the last few months has the texting been ever-present in typical teenager fashion. And last week she informed me that all of her friends were going to see the Hunger Games after their theater performance, dashing my hopes of some mom/daughter time.
But I did get to take her and a friend to see her favorite band this week. She got the tickets for Christmas and has been waiting impatiently. Unfortunately, all "seating" was standing-room only general admission, and I was envisioning mass hysteria with thousands of screaming girls shoving my petite PS to the back of the crowd.
Luckily, the venue was a smaller one, and it has an attached restaurant. I got an email right before the concert that if we ate there, we got priority seating for the concert. And so we arrived early, had over-priced burgers, and were among the first 30 or so people in the door. PS and her friend were dead center, right in front of the stage!!! (I went to get her a shirt, so I was a couple of people-rows behind them when I came back.)
It was indeed hysteria, with the crowd constantly pushing forward (I am too old for the pit!), but PS and her friend were able to hold their place and had a great view for the entire concert. And I even caught a guitar pick that one of the band members threw. PS told me over and over how awesome the experience was. That's about as good as it gets for a mom of a teenager.
*BTW Delia's is a great place to buy jeans for petite girls. The go down to a size 00 and they have several lengths for each size.
3/25/12
Don't Mess With Me, Door
We spent this morning repairing the door from my garage into the house. Because last Tuesday I kicked it in like I was the Incredible Hulk's love child and in the process tore out the entire door frame.
I wasn't angry. The door had been sticking for some time, and rainy weather of late had made the door swell to the point that it just wouldn't budge. It was pouring rain, and I really didn't want to go around front and get soaked. So I kicked it. And completely underestimated my own destructive powers. The door was unharmed; it was the frame that suffered--which, of course, is way more difficult to replace than a door.
So on Thursday, I picked the girls up from school for a dentist appointment, and then headed over to Lowe's to see if I could figure out what I needed to do to repair the damage. The guys in Lowe's looked bemused when I told them my story, standing in a pencil skirt and stilettos with three kids in tow, and asked them if it was possible to purchase a door frame.
Surprisingly, it is. Or at least, a kit that to make a door frame. I also picked up a new door knob for good measure, but declined the boring drill bit that they tried to talk me into (the frame kit does not have a pre-cut hole for your door lock to slide into) because I knew we already had one.
And so $50 and a couple of hours of labor later the door is fixed. And DH was only a little irritated with me.
I wasn't angry. The door had been sticking for some time, and rainy weather of late had made the door swell to the point that it just wouldn't budge. It was pouring rain, and I really didn't want to go around front and get soaked. So I kicked it. And completely underestimated my own destructive powers. The door was unharmed; it was the frame that suffered--which, of course, is way more difficult to replace than a door.
So on Thursday, I picked the girls up from school for a dentist appointment, and then headed over to Lowe's to see if I could figure out what I needed to do to repair the damage. The guys in Lowe's looked bemused when I told them my story, standing in a pencil skirt and stilettos with three kids in tow, and asked them if it was possible to purchase a door frame.
Surprisingly, it is. Or at least, a kit that to make a door frame. I also picked up a new door knob for good measure, but declined the boring drill bit that they tried to talk me into (the frame kit does not have a pre-cut hole for your door lock to slide into) because I knew we already had one.
And so $50 and a couple of hours of labor later the door is fixed. And DH was only a little irritated with me.
3/21/12
Happy 1000th Postaversary to Me!
So, this is my 1000th post. I originally started this blog in fall 2004 when I started law school. It didn't really get very far that first year because, well, I was entrenched in 1L and I had three-year-old twins and a six year old (hence, my title). But I had a reboot in August 2006, my 3L year, and I have been blogging consistently ever since.
When I began law school there were very few other law moms blogging. I think AAL and Suzie JD were both around back then under other names, and that was about it. So I started blogging as my own outlet, but also as a way to preserve my experiences for other law moms coming up behind me. I try to blog honestly, and I know that by doing so I don't always paint myself in the best light. I'm ok with that, but that's part of the reason I blog anonymously.
When I began law school there were very few other law moms blogging. I think AAL and Suzie JD were both around back then under other names, and that was about it. So I started blogging as my own outlet, but also as a way to preserve my experiences for other law moms coming up behind me. I try to blog honestly, and I know that by doing so I don't always paint myself in the best light. I'm ok with that, but that's part of the reason I blog anonymously.
Anyway, to celebrate my 1000th post, I decided to go back and review my old posts to pull out to best, worst or most meaningful. I wanted 10, but ended up with 20. (No, I don't really think anyone is going to read all 20, but I started with 30 and 20 was the best I could do!) It seems that the most frequently used word on my blog is chaos. I write about it a lot. I definitely feel that my life is chaotic at moments, but I didn't realize that it was such an overarching theme of my life. But I guess I'm ok with that, because there's nothing that I really want to change.
I'm also going to borrow a page from LL's book and offer to answer any questions that anyone has a burning desire to ask.
And so, without further ado, the best of worst of LC from the last 7.5 years and 999 posts:
The Beginning:
Mothers:
The hardest case I’ve ever worked on:
Worst Exam ever, almost:
The End:
Really the worst exam ever:
But at least I passed:
My first real job (nearly a full year after I graduated):
The decision to become a working mom:
Should you go to law school?
Where the girls aren’t:
One Year In:
Why I left my first firm:
The stupidest and smartest thing I have ever done:
A Week in the Life of an Attorney and Mom:
Setting Limits:
My Most Controversial Post:
Religion:
Boys Drool and Girls Rule:
Lawyer Fun:
3/19/12
So this is how my day went...
I took home a couple of over-stuffed boxed of documents to review of the weekend. I pulled the privileged docs and put them together on the top i nside the box. This morning I arrived at work and unloaded them from the back ofmy car. And then the 45 mph wind blew off the lid. While I was catching the lid, papers started blowing out of the box. Yep, the privileged docs.
Fortunately, there was a line of shrubbery about 15 yards away that seemed to catch them. So I crawled down on my hands and knees through the grass and mud in my work clothes and bright red stilettos yanking my privileged papers from the depths of the bushes.
Once the boxes were dealt with, I went to park my car in the underground parking garage. The weather was supposed to turn nasty, and I had just had my car washed and definitely did not want to risk it getting hailed on. But apparently when I had my car cleaned over the weekend, they piled everything in the car into a bag that the kids took into the house. Including my parking pass. So I had to park again and go up to my office and beg one of my coworkers to lend me her parking pass. On my way back down, Bob the secutiry guy told me I could have just borrowed his.
Finally got my car tucked away safe and sound, and headed up to my office. By then my perfectly coifed hair looked like I had just woken up and hadn't bothered to comb it.
I kindly held the door for an older lady behind me. Who proceeded to fart just as we stepped into the elevator. And then about 5 more people piled in, and I swear pushed every possible button and my floor is to top one for that elevator bank. You can only hold your breath for so long.
The rest of the day was insanely busy before I headed out the door at 7 hoping to avoid nasty weather on my way home (I did!)
Tomorrow's prospects don't look much better. DH has to be up at 4 to go to the airport, and I have to drive PS and her BFF to school at 6:45 for Theater UIL, before facing a long to-do list and then having to run home for soccer jersey pick-up followed by the twins soccer practice(but at least I don't coach that one) with no DH to help out with it all.
Fortunately, there was a line of shrubbery about 15 yards away that seemed to catch them. So I crawled down on my hands and knees through the grass and mud in my work clothes and bright red stilettos yanking my privileged papers from the depths of the bushes.
Once the boxes were dealt with, I went to park my car in the underground parking garage. The weather was supposed to turn nasty, and I had just had my car washed and definitely did not want to risk it getting hailed on. But apparently when I had my car cleaned over the weekend, they piled everything in the car into a bag that the kids took into the house. Including my parking pass. So I had to park again and go up to my office and beg one of my coworkers to lend me her parking pass. On my way back down, Bob the secutiry guy told me I could have just borrowed his.
Finally got my car tucked away safe and sound, and headed up to my office. By then my perfectly coifed hair looked like I had just woken up and hadn't bothered to comb it.
I kindly held the door for an older lady behind me. Who proceeded to fart just as we stepped into the elevator. And then about 5 more people piled in, and I swear pushed every possible button and my floor is to top one for that elevator bank. You can only hold your breath for so long.
The rest of the day was insanely busy before I headed out the door at 7 hoping to avoid nasty weather on my way home (I did!)
Tomorrow's prospects don't look much better. DH has to be up at 4 to go to the airport, and I have to drive PS and her BFF to school at 6:45 for Theater UIL, before facing a long to-do list and then having to run home for soccer jersey pick-up followed by the twins soccer practice(but at least I don't coach that one) with no DH to help out with it all.
3/15/12
Just Breathe
The mini vacay was nice, but I'm pretty sure I was being punished today for the time away. It was pure insanity, and I barely had time to breathe. Every single one of my bosses put a new file on my desk today. Two were filings that had to be done today. I finished the first at 3:00 and the second at 6:15 before literally running out the door to make 7:00 soccer practice.
I felt far more competent filing a last-minute motion in federal court in a well publicized multi-million dollar case than I did teaching a bunch of little girls to play soccer. Our teenage helper wasn't around tonight, so DH and I were on our own. We rehashed the drills we did last week, and then let the girls scrimmage. Except that I didn't know how to start the game for the scrimmage. And I couldn't remember if you got a corner kick if you kicked the ball over the end line you were defending or trying to score on. And I didn't even bother trying to figure out when someone was offsides. Clearly all of my book reading and you-tube watching does not make up for practical experience.
The good news: DH and the girls bought me Reece's Peanut Butter cups when they were out running errands today. It is definitely a chocolate kind of day.
I felt far more competent filing a last-minute motion in federal court in a well publicized multi-million dollar case than I did teaching a bunch of little girls to play soccer. Our teenage helper wasn't around tonight, so DH and I were on our own. We rehashed the drills we did last week, and then let the girls scrimmage. Except that I didn't know how to start the game for the scrimmage. And I couldn't remember if you got a corner kick if you kicked the ball over the end line you were defending or trying to score on. And I didn't even bother trying to figure out when someone was offsides. Clearly all of my book reading and you-tube watching does not make up for practical experience.
The good news: DH and the girls bought me Reece's Peanut Butter cups when they were out running errands today. It is definitely a chocolate kind of day.
3/10/12
Spring Break!
After a crazy busy week, I get to take a few days off. The girls are out of school next week for spring break, so I took off through Wednesday. We've rented a cabin and are going to a beautiful area we've been visiting annually for the last few years. Typically DH and the kids fish while I read trashy magazines and drink wine. And we usually do a couple of river floats and hike a little. It's a nice trip because it's just peaceful and relaxing.
We've spent most of today shopping and doing laundry and packing. Thank goodness we're not leaving until tomorrow, because I never would have gotten it all done otherwise.
And this morning we had our first soccer practice. It went really well. I've been watching YouTube videos to learn drills, and I've read up on the rules. But it gets better! One of the girls has a 16 year old brother who plays elite soccer. He helped out with the drills and gave the girls tons of tips on their footwork. Yay! He was a huge help, and it is so nice to see teens who are willing to jump in and help out.
On an unrelated note, I have to admit that I feel like a weight has been lifted since my mother left. Having to care for one more person, plus having to specifically deal with her just left me overly stressed and walking around in a cloud of negativity. I am palpably happier now and I feel so much more in control of my life. Yay for normalcy!
We've spent most of today shopping and doing laundry and packing. Thank goodness we're not leaving until tomorrow, because I never would have gotten it all done otherwise.
And this morning we had our first soccer practice. It went really well. I've been watching YouTube videos to learn drills, and I've read up on the rules. But it gets better! One of the girls has a 16 year old brother who plays elite soccer. He helped out with the drills and gave the girls tons of tips on their footwork. Yay! He was a huge help, and it is so nice to see teens who are willing to jump in and help out.
On an unrelated note, I have to admit that I feel like a weight has been lifted since my mother left. Having to care for one more person, plus having to specifically deal with her just left me overly stressed and walking around in a cloud of negativity. I am palpably happier now and I feel so much more in control of my life. Yay for normalcy!
3/7/12
I am officially certifiable now
I signed up all three girls to play in the church's recreational soccer league. The twins wanted to play with their BFF whose dad is also the coach. It turned out that PS is in the same division, but she did not want to play with her sisters, so we asked that we put her on a different team.
We got an email from the twins' coach telling us all about practice times and when we would be starting. But not a peep from PS's coach. Turned out there was no coach. So the church sent out an email saying, "there's no coach, we need a coach so the girls can start practicing, figure it out." And nobody responded.
So, in a moment of pure insanity, I emailed the sports coordinator and told her that I could help out with the team.And now I am a soccer coach.
Brilliant, since I have never played soccer. Everyone who knows me finds it pretty hilarious that I am taking this on. I'm not athletic. at. all. I'm the girl who got stress fractures in both ankles just from running. And I've broken and sprained both ankles on other occasions, broken both arms on separate occasions, broken ribs, and had multiple broken toes. Grace and coordination are not my virtues.
And it gets better. This is the church league. It's supposed to be a ministry. You're supposed to preach to the kids. And I'm an atheist. Oh boy. I think I need the intervention of a higher power right about now.
But now I have a polyester coach's shirt (ick!), a matching visor (double ick!) and a whistle (yay!), so I guess I'm all set. And I went and bought "Soccer for Dummies" last night.
What the heck was I thinking? I don't like other people's kids, I don't know how to play soccer, and I don't have an excess vat of time hiding out somewhere. I'm pretty sure I've lost my mind.
We got an email from the twins' coach telling us all about practice times and when we would be starting. But not a peep from PS's coach. Turned out there was no coach. So the church sent out an email saying, "there's no coach, we need a coach so the girls can start practicing, figure it out." And nobody responded.
So, in a moment of pure insanity, I emailed the sports coordinator and told her that I could help out with the team.And now I am a soccer coach.
Brilliant, since I have never played soccer. Everyone who knows me finds it pretty hilarious that I am taking this on. I'm not athletic. at. all. I'm the girl who got stress fractures in both ankles just from running. And I've broken and sprained both ankles on other occasions, broken both arms on separate occasions, broken ribs, and had multiple broken toes. Grace and coordination are not my virtues.
And it gets better. This is the church league. It's supposed to be a ministry. You're supposed to preach to the kids. And I'm an atheist. Oh boy. I think I need the intervention of a higher power right about now.
But now I have a polyester coach's shirt (ick!), a matching visor (double ick!) and a whistle (yay!), so I guess I'm all set. And I went and bought "Soccer for Dummies" last night.
What the heck was I thinking? I don't like other people's kids, I don't know how to play soccer, and I don't have an excess vat of time hiding out somewhere. I'm pretty sure I've lost my mind.
3/5/12
Losing Friends
Today I was unfriended on FB for the first time for political reasons. I'm pretty sure it's the first time I've ever really expressed a political opinion on FB.
The "friend" in question is DH's uncle who made an idiotic statement agreeing with Rush L. Really, how was I supposed to keep my mouth shut when someone agreed with that moron?
My initial response was an innocuous "babies cost a lot more than contraception.". The conversation degenerated from there-- especially when his wife joined the fray and said that the pill aborts embryos! (WTF?) And then some other crazy joined in and equated the pill with euthanasia.
And then I was unfriended, so I could no longer respond to the crazy. Which was surely for the best.
But seriously, the pill = abortion??? It is morally reprehensible to be preaching that crap.
The "friend" in question is DH's uncle who made an idiotic statement agreeing with Rush L. Really, how was I supposed to keep my mouth shut when someone agreed with that moron?
My initial response was an innocuous "babies cost a lot more than contraception.". The conversation degenerated from there-- especially when his wife joined the fray and said that the pill aborts embryos! (WTF?) And then some other crazy joined in and equated the pill with euthanasia.
And then I was unfriended, so I could no longer respond to the crazy. Which was surely for the best.
But seriously, the pill = abortion??? It is morally reprehensible to be preaching that crap.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)