Game 61: Julio Lugo is Not Here For His Glovework

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 7, Tampa Bay Rays 4

Masterson: not so masterful when you're facing a good team, it seems. Or maybe it's just that Akinori Iwamura hits better in Fenway than almost anywhere else and maybe should learn to play shortstop so he can come to Boston and replace the joker we've got playing there now. I'm just saying. Anyway, two sinkers that didn't sink found their way over the way tonight - including one courtesy of Mr. Iwamura - and Masterson had almost as many fly outs as he did ground outs. Maybe he was nervous about Manny's hometown reception post 500 homer milestone. Or maybe he was just so relieved that the doctors chose three weeks of immobilization over three months (or more) of surgery recovery for Papi's ailing wrist in the hopes of a scar tissue heal.

Speaking of shortstops, Robin remarked that ever since the aforementioned Lugo personally blew two saves for Papelbon, he seems to make an exit stage right for defensive replacement Alex Cora. We were curious, so I mined Baseball Reference and found that yes, since May 9, Alex Cora has replaced Julio Lugo at shortstop for every Papelbon appearance except for two: May 10, when Lugo was in the dog house, Cora wasn't available (I believe he was injured at the time?), and the Sox had Jed Lowrie (the once and future successor to the position) make the start; and May 30, when Cora and Lugo did a role reversal. Papelbon's record in that time: eight appearances, one earned run, six saves in six chances. I think the numbers speak for themselves (but I'll say it anyway): Julio Lugo is persona non grata when Papelbon is on the mound.

I wonder who made the call (or the request): was it Francona, adopting his no nonsense pose by putting his shortstop in some sort of extended purgatory for his extremely poor defense, or was it Papelbon, star closer and future ca-drillionaire (good to see that investment is paying dividends, by the way), throwing around some political muscle by getting Lugo off the field when there's a save situation on the line. As odd as he's proven to be, I like the idea of Paps being a bit of a prima donna, storming into Terry's office, slamming the door, exclaiming something like "I can't work under these conditions," and demanding Lugo get the defensive replacement treatment, all while wearing a smoking jacket. I'm a big believer in ball players having personality, you know?

Jonathan Papelbon, Ca-drillionaire

Ah, to be young, rich, famous and able to invest in Internet startups, just like Jonathan Papelbon. That's right: Papelbon is looking beyond his playing abilities to expand potential talents in other areas of life, just like his teammates: Coco Crisp has his producing thing, Big Papi makes salsa, Manny does public speaking appearances, etc.

What's the venture, you might ask. Where does he get his hot investing tips? Does he have a specific investing vision in mind? As a matter of fact...

• The venture: ISpottedYou, a social networking site (like MySpace) that uses buttons (the plastic-coated things with the pins on the back you stick to your shirt) like a membership pin so you can spot other adherents in the street. Features investors like Under Armour, "some NFL guys [and] some MLB guys," bilingual capability and the tag line, "where the virtual world meets the real world." And on these lowly beginnings, an online empire is built...
  
• The tip source: his agent. I think this may be the equivalent of asking your plumber for medical advice.
• Pap's investing vision: "to be a ca-drillionaire," where a ca-drillion is an amount of money equal to two metric ass-tons.

Go look at the site just so you can laugh at the idea of a.) people walking around wearing buttons like they're in some sort of cult, b.) those people getting beat up on street corners for wearing those buttons and c.) other people investing their money in this venture. Whatever real-world amount of money a ca-drillion equals, I don't think Paps is going to make it by funding this website.