Happy Trails, J.C. Romero

Mike "Golden Years" Timlin is back, which meant decision time for the Sox: who was the odd man out? Turns out, when push came to shove, J.C. Romero was the most expendable; he's been DFA'd. His departure is not particularly surprising: he's a lefty, which makes him expendable, he's one of three, which makes him even more so and even though he has a better ERA+ (by two points) than Javier Lopez (his heir apparent) his peripherals are weak: a WHIP of 1.95 is not a good thing.

With any luck, the Sox will find a minor leaguer or two in exchange for Romero on the market, although if Boston couldn't find a buyer prior to yesterday, there's no reason to think they will before his assignment period expires and he goes to free agency.

Games 53 - 55: Awesome Sandwich with Buns of Crap

Game 53: Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 9
Game 54: Final Score: Boston Red Sox 11, New York Yankees 6
Game 55: Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, New York Yankees 6

As Robin so succinctly put it to me in an email this morning, "these games were an awesome sandwich with crap buns: bleh WOO bleh." Losing two out of three at home to the Great Rival is hard enough, but an ending like last night leaves a bitter taste in the mouth that extends well into the next morning like a bad hangover, even when tempered with the excitement of the game and the sweet 12.5 game pad in the standings. Still, the final score of Game 55 is just the surface of the weekend that had more subplots than a soap opera story arc. Let's recap:

Where has the starting pitching gone? Not a good series for Red Sox starters: a combined total of 22 hits, 16 runs, 10 walks and only 9 strikeouts in 15 innings isn't in line for spectacular, even against the Yankees. Beckett had the best outing of the set, but still had two tough innings and gave up a brace of runs before his offense woke up and handed him what turned out to be a no decision. I'm happy to blame this lackluster run on the odd weather haunting the East Coast this weekend and move on.

Battle of the Bullpens. I'd be happy to give all of the props in the world to the Red Scare for their job this weekend, but the measure of their success is entirely conditional. On Friday, when the game flew out of reach on the wings of the knuckleball, the four scoreless innings courtesy of Romero, Pineiro and Lopez were like a pretty girl getting stood up by her date: all dressed up and nowhere to go. On Saturday, when the Sox returned the favor and tore into Mussina and Scott Proctor, giving up a run or two (the weekend's consistent theme) was just collateral damage to ending the game as quickly as possible. Last night...well, unfortunately last night was when things really counted; when Lady Luck jumped out of her seat in the EMC Club and into Joe Torre's waiting arms and said, "it's time I did you fellas a good turn." The triple and the home run came at the worst possible times against pitchers who have become the watchwords for automatic, but thus the game.

Kevin Youkilis and his 23 game hit streak. Nowhere near magic number 56 (or, if you believe Joe Morgan's crazed ramblings, the "150 to 200 game" hitting streak Derek Jeter somehow put together over the past few years without anyone noticing), but still a satisfying run for Youk, who snapped his streak on Saturday with an 0 for 2 with three walks. Last year's big surprise was Youkilis robbing J.T. Snow of any use in baseball life by becoming a vacuum at first base; this year's surprise may be Youkilis superseding J.D. Drew as the power in the heart of the order. If so, it might be reasonable to suspect that Youkilis has a thing against guys with two first names.

Dustin Pedroia will accept your homage now. Thirteen game hitting streak. Hitting .500 over the past week or so. Hit the double that cleared the bases in the fifth last night, bringing Boston back into the game. Very nearly hit a second double that would have tied/won the game in the eighth, if not for the interference of Lady Luck (see above) guiding the hand of Bobby Abreu. DC may be waiting for Pedroia to swing so hard that he falls over, but I'm perfectly happy to enjoy this hot streak while it lasts. Go P-Dawg!

Whither Big Papi? Actually, that's not fair: Ortiz has an OBP of 1.091 over the past month, which is monstrous. It just hasn't been as visceral of an impact, because it's been weeks since he's hit a home run. That should have changed last night against Rivera, because that ball was gone as soon as it hit the bat, but once again, Lady Luck had other ideas. Last night was the exception, rather than the rule and I have no doubt Ortiz will drive balls over the wall again in good time.

The Rivalry is back. For better or for worse, the Yankees play a good game when they face the Sox. As I said a couple of months ago, the rivalry isn't any fun when one side is horribly overmatched, which means the Yankees will have to win a few games...or two series in a row. Boston and New York don't face each other again until the end of August, when the games will have become much more important, so now is the time to lick wounds, maintain that AL East lead and wait for the time when sweet revenge can be claimed. For now: off to the West Coast! I hate (baseball) trips to the West Coast! Turn that hatred into wins!

Game 50: Smorgasbord of Delight

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 5, Cleveland Indians 3

Honestly, too many strange/awesome/mind blowing things happened in the win tonight. I have to break ‘em down into categories.

Heart Warming: Trot was back and he got a standing O to end all standing O’s. Hell, this guy got like 5 standing O’s. We love us some Trot Nixon no matter the laundry. Great to see him back in Fenway… I wish your new team sucked more.

About Time: Drew with some extra base hit action with men in scoring position. This looks a lot more like the $70 million guy that was supposed to replace the aforementioned and beloved Nixon. Carry on J.D.

Coming Around Nicely: Little Dusty Pedroia is turning into a very fine contact hitter. He already has his average into the .280’s and is no longer earning my ire daily. Keep this up and I may learn to like you… ya little scamp! Now go fetch me the Globe or I’ll box your ears.

Phew: Rumors of Schill’s demise were greatly exaggerated. Curt brought his K stick and used it 10 times on the Tribe. He only gave up one run in 7 innings and looked better than he has all year. More of this please, Mr. Blog man.

Getting Warmer: Manny is coming out of his coma as the late spring sun burns off the chemicals he puts in his crazy hair. This is bad news for every pitcher in the league that doesn’t like their ERA to match the distance of his homeruns. Not scared pitchers? You will be…

Freaking Weird/Amazing: Youk now has a 20 game hit streak and managed to bash an inside the park home run. That’s right, the bald headed, ogre looking, first baseman child of Moses ran like he stole some Matzo and scored on his own fly to the triangle. Youk isn’t just on fire anymore, he’s burning like a tire dump.

Worried: Papi missed his second game with “hamstring tightness” and I am starting to lose sleep. Are you sure I can't rub those for you Ortiz? I am strong but surprisingly gentle. Hmmm… that sounded straighter in my head.

Relieved/Confused: After a dismal showing by J.C.BB Romero, the rest of the pen stopped the bleeding and held the lead long enough for Paps to come in for the 3rd time in 5 games. He allowed a run (gulp) and had the go ahead runs in scoring position with only one out (double gulp) but SOMEHOW got Blake to swing at a pitch that hit him in the hands (so say the umps) and then got Hafner swinging as I clenched my ass cheeks. Whoa! That was close. Let's win by more runs tomorrow… ok?

Game 44: Battling the Bad Teams

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 2, New York Yankees 6

I don’t understand this Red Sox team sometimes. The Sox manage to take 3 of 4 from the brilliant Tigers, they take 2 of 3 from a nasty Atlanta team, they sit alone at the top of the standings, but they can play down to the level of their opponent and lose to an irrelevant under .500 club. How does this happen?

For starters we left a small village on base. 12 LOB really bailed out that mediocre pitcher they threw at us. We couldn’t even capitalize on the errors they made. The Sox need to keep that same fire in their belly even when facing a sub par opponent.

At least the bullpen held together. Romero, Delcarmen and Pineiro did a serviceable job holding back that “so called” offense. Wake was the one that got knocked around and let in the runs. The knuckler was a little high and he had trouble keeping it in the park. Their slugger… what’s his name?... B-Rod?... got a huge blast in the first and their token steroid user got a chemically enhanced upper deck shot. Aww well. They need something to hang their hat on… good for them.

Wait what? That was the Yankees? Are you kidding me? Huh…

Anyway, in game 2 tomorrow we are throwing a secret crazy weapon. Right now JT Killer is bathing in animal/human blood and making 9 little voodoo dolls. I hear he doesn’t eat before a game… but he feeds on fear during. I think he’s gonna fill his belly.

Game 31: The Gospel of Beckett

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 9, Toronto Blue Jays 2

1:1- Lo there blew a great wind that carried with it not 1 or 2 or 3 but 7 wins in His first 7 starts. This the almighty Beckett did sunder the Jays with His awesomeness. Yea he doth rock hard for innings 1 through 7 and if it were not for the first pitch from His amazing arm (and this evil pitch did leave the park) on this night He would have been as spotless as His record. Blessed be the Sox.

1:2- He who is Beckett is loved. Loved not only by the nation (which has mighty love) but also from the Sox hitters He calls teammates. For they love Him so greatly that they give Him runs as bountiful as all the salsa jars in Saint Papi’s trashcan. It was first Youk to bring the homer, and Youk beget Pedroia (small yet divine) and Pedroia beget Lowell, and Lowell beget Tek (back to holy back) and thus the runs did score. Blessed be the Sox.

1:3- And woe be the relief pitchers. For their toil has been all but forgotten. The new soul called from the depth of AAA Hansack did suckith the high hard one and walked many a batter. Praise to Romero for he was undaunted even with the bases filled of unholy birds. He vanquished his single foe and left the final three outs to be collected by Kyle of Snyder. He who is Beckett was indeed granted victory. Blessed be the Sox.

1:4- That which was from the beginning, was a win well in hand and the 7th of its kind for the Beckett. His glory only mirrors our own as Sox Nation. The Red Sox still hold upon high the lead for the AL East and shall attempt to gain strength for that lead with the help of our foreign disciple…Dice K. Blessed be the Sox.

Game 15: Hex and Counter Hex

Final Score: Boston Red Sox 7, New York Yankees 6

I feel some deja vu coming on...something about...oh, yes: I can't believe we won this game. You know, just like yesterday. Schilling pitching like one of the many foul things I called him when he served up tasty white plate specials to A-Rod; J. C. Romero, Mr. Soft Underbelly of the Bullpen, pushing things further out of reach in the eighth and everything coming down to the placement abilities of The Machine...I would be lying if I said I hadn't written this game off as an unfortunate loss by the fifth inning. However, the ghost of Red Auerbach, conjured up by tonight's opening ceremonies, seems to have had the same psychic power over the field as filling Fenway with Red Sox legends and thus a win, no matter how fraught the contest.

Red's influence may have spread into other areas: along with the strange powers at work keeping Rivera from locating a pitch in the eighth, two events occurred that may mean new directions for two players:

1. In his last at-bat, against the afore-vilified Romero, Alex Rodriguez hit a double. Yes, he had already hit home runs in his second and third at-bats and scored on a single to right on the next pitch, thereby carrying his team to six runs in the non-A-Rodian fashion we've become accustomed to in the past few weeks - the fashion that had Michael Kaye and John Flaherty panting at his every move like cats in baseball heat - but it was a double and not a home run, despite its poor placement in his wheelhouse. If Rodriguez has finally descended from his hitter's cloud nine and is back amongst the mortal superstars tomorrow, we'll know why: the gods have him hexed.
   
   
2. The Captain went three for four, hit a two out home run off Pettitte to put the Sox back into the game in the fourth and started the scoring drive against Rivera with a single; a scoring drive that saw a triple from the hitless Coco Crisp and (again) the game winning RBI by Alex Cora. Tek hasn't had anything close to a breakout game before tonight; tonight marks the game where he turns around a year of bad numbers and questioning commentators and brings back, via counter hex, that sweet hitting groove.
   

Game 5: Baby Oil, Bengay and a Bottle of Suck

Final Score: Texas Rangers 8, Boston Red Sox 4

Mike called before the game to tell me that Tavarez uses baby oil and Bengay to stay warmed up on these cold nights. I was on my way out the door to meet my buddy Nick at The Riviera (the Sox bar in the village that I like and Eric doesn’t) so I didn’t have time to discuss this odd/vile revelation. I left with out comment and assumed he was kidding.

Of course NESN replayed the interview when Tavarez disclosed his secret remedy and I was dumbstruck at how deep this man’s insanity coursed through him. But I really shouldn’t have been. This is a guy who punches people, lockers and other animate and inanimate objects for absolutely no reason. He has the face and temperament of Freddy Kruger and most importantly, he is a good friend of Manny. Can’t really get more nuts than that.

Despite his weird concoction and obvious mental illness (Nick said the baby oil came from real babies) Tavarez got knocked around a bit tonight. 4 earned in 4 innings off 6 hits and 5 walks. Most of the damage came in the 3rd inning when J.D. Drew decided that it wasn’t worth a possible season ending shoulder injury to stop a Michael Young double down the line. Combine that with a piss poor throw from Coco and Young scored on an inside the park error assisted homerun. Even without all that mess, I don’t think JT Psycho is anything more than a reliever. Someone tell Jon Lester to take his cell phone off vibrate.

The other splash of ugly came from J.C. Romero and his batting practice performance. 5 batters faced… 5 hits including a Sammy freaking Sosa homerun. The Riviera didn’t have enough beer to drown that one out. Can you believe that steroid pumping, corked bat using, has-been got a curtain call?

Oh and nobody could hit again. Ortiz looks 25 lbs heavier and completely lost and Crisp is a gigantic black hole in the line up. The biggest hit (and it got the biggest reaction from the bar) was Tek’s RBI in the 6th. If he can manage to bat over .250 this year it would be a miracle.

So that’s the first series loss of the year. Next up is Schilling trying to redeem himself and maybe the rest of the team can step-up and save some face as we slink out of Texas.