It's Hard To See, Sittin' In The Nosebleeds

So, a kid in Wisconsin is suing his school because he got an F on an art piece.

A Tomah High School student has filed a federal lawsuit alleging his art teacher censored his drawing because it featured a cross and a biblical reference.

The lawsuit alleges other students were allowed to draw “demonic” images and asks a judge to declare a class policy prohibiting religion in art unconstitutional.

“We hear so much today about tolerance,” said David Cortman, an attorney with the Alliance Defense Fund, a Christian legal advocacy group representing the student. “But where is the tolerance for religious beliefs? The whole purpose of art is to reflect your own personal experience.

That's true. Art is personal. Why, then, did he get an F?

His teacher, Julie Millin, asked him to remove the reference to the Bible, saying students were making remarks about it.

He refused, and she gave him a zero on the project.

Millin showed the student a policy for the class that prohibited any violence, blood, sexual connotations or religious beliefs in artwork. The lawsuit claims Millin told the boy he had signed away his constitutional rights when he signed the policy at the beginning of the semester.

So the kid broke a classroom rule, was told by a teacher to change his project, refused, and failed. Sounds about right.

The rule is bullshit. It's an art class. Kids should be allowed to explore their feelings, religion included. I'm not a big art fan, but I know that art often offends. Not that "John 3:16" is offensive in any way. No more offensive than "The 12 Labors of Heracles," anyway. However, it has been well established that, as the quote says, students have no Constitional rights. The kid didn't follow the rule, and deserves the F.

I hope he gets the policy overturned. This isn't just an anti-religious policy, it is anti-free speech. My guess, however, is that he only wants the religious ban overturned, not the sexual imagery or violence bans. Which is too bad.

The story has some other interesting statements.

The lawsuit also alleges school officials allow other religious items and artwork to be displayed on campus.

A Buddha and Hindu figurines are on display in a social studies classroom, the lawsuit claims, adding the teacher passionately teaches Hindu principles to students.

In addition, a replica of Michaelangelo’s “The Creation of Man” is displayed at the school’s entrance, a picture of a six-limbed Hindu goddess is in the school’s hallway and a drawing of a robed sorcerer hangs on a hallway bulletin board.

So the administrator's statement that a piece of art with a bible quote infringes on other students' rights rings false.

But does anyone else have the same question as I do? A robed sorcerer is a religious item? They also mention a Medusa drawing in the list. I guess that fits. If one fairy tale can be a religion, why not all of them?

Your Confusing To Many leader.

Important Knowledge To Save Your Life

A quick update that could improve your chances of surviving a zombie attack. (Found Here)



I don't entirely agree with that last one, but it's true that things trying to eat your brains are more horrific when on fire.

Don't add narcs as friends. Or maybe the kids added school administrators, which is even dumber.

We all know high school kids have no rights, but now college-age adults might lose their rights as well.

A freshman at a public university in Minnesota is caught with beer in a dorm room, gets cited for underage drinking and then gets nabbed for possession of marijuana.

Should the deans notify the parents?

The law says they can't, if the student is at least 18 years old, because the state Data Practices Act considers those situations "educational data" and therefore protected from disclosure.

I'm not sure why a minor consumption is "educational data," but it doesn't change the fact that it isn't a university's job to tattle on their students. Will they also tell mommy and daddy if little 20 year old Jayden gets a speeding ticket? Speeding is dangerous too. Maybe the uni should tell the folks if young Ashleigheey showed up at the clinic with the herp, and HIPAA laws be damned. I also wonder if a non-traditional 35 year old's parents would be called when he gets a DUI or busted with a half-ounce of sticky.

"It would be a way for a red flag to come up and for the parents to at least be aware that their son or daughter is having problems," said Marquart, who has a daughter in college.

There's the rub. Rep. Marquart wants to know what's going on with his "little girl." (My guess is he really doesn't want to know, if you know what I mean, and I think you do) Of course, most kids who get caught drinking don't have any sort of problem. They, like a good number of college kids, like to drink. We're expected to believe that every kid who gets caught drinking underage or smoking pot is an addict and has a serious problem. It simply isn't so.

We complain that college grads aren't ready for the real world. Could that possibly be because they aren't allowed to deal with their own consequences? Because their parents remain embedded in their lives well into their twenties?

Hell, a minor consumption ticket is a great way for a kid to figure out how to pay the fine without his/her parent's help, since s/he doesn't want them to know about it. It's a learning experience. To quote Homer Simpson, "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."

Let our college students learn.

Your Keg Stand leader.

Baby, It's Hot Outside

This is a real mystery. My calculations put the weight of 1,000 gallons of water at 8,340 pounds. That's over 4 tons. That's a lot of water to disappear without a trace. I have 2 theories. The first is aliens. The second is a herd of flying elephants.

Now, an elephant can consume 300-600 lbs of food per day, so assuming 500 lbs of water, it would take 17 flying elephants to consume that much water, and that's assuming they could do it in 4 hours. That many elephants would make too much noise not to be noticed. Also, elephants can't fly.

Aliens presumably can fly, but would they really need exactly 1,000 gallons of chlorinated water? It seems that there are better places to get water, especially considering that some suburban New Jersey family may not have chlorinated the pool.

Neither of my hypotheses address the pool itself being missing. But neither actually works as a theory either, so I didn't bother looking into that aspect of the mystery.

Apparently there will be more on this story in the coming days. Perhaps answers are forthcoming. Or maybe the cover-up will begin.

This is a link for Spotty, but if you're a language nerd, you might enjoy it as well. And Spotty, I was wrong. It is rhinoceros that doesn't pluralize as rhinoceri, not hippopotamus. (Of course the plural of hippopotamus isn't "rhinoceri," but it can be hippopotami, which I said was incorrect Latin while speaking with Spotty earlier this evening. Really, it's a big mess to write, but can be explained in spoken word quite simply. Let's all pretend I didn't say anything at all.)

"Relatives of the woman who left her baby in a van on a hot day say she is new to the country and didn't know the law." So it's OK to leave a baby in a car in 90 degree heat if it's not against the law? "She didn't know it was that hot." I'm guessing she wears a refrigerated suit at all times, because it was fucking hot out on Wednesday.

DON'T LEAVE YOUR BABY IN THE CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm glad the baby didn't die, especially because the mother might get charged for her stupidity/laziness/cruelty. Unfortunately, when parents kill their baby in this manner they are considered to have "suffered enough" from the loss of their child, and never go to jail for it.

As a side note, if you see a baby sitting in a car in hot weather, call the police, but don't wait for them to arrive to break the window. Mere minutes could save a baby's life, so the sooner the heat is alleviated, the better.

Wow. I need to get away from getting outraged about kids being treated poorly at the end of posts that are started with more humorous content.

Your Mysterious Water Loss leader.

I Will Try Not To Dream

I've been a bit sluggish lately. Maybe I should get some of this stuff.



I thought only Americans did this kind of shit. Interestingly, according to that story you can't name your child Satan or Hitler if you live in the South Pacific, because they're offensive names. I hope Jayden is on that list, because that's a pretty offensive name too.



Let your kids read this, and it doesn't matter what you named them, you're a bad parent.

You can let them read this part. This is something people should know.

I have to bring the Hillock's urine to the vet now. Oh, joy.

If your downtown Big Time Minneapolis this weekend, keep an eye out for me.

Your ENERGY!!!!!!!!!!! leader.

Ice on My Fingers and My Toes

("Aqua Teen Hunger Force Theme")

The cold has come. -9 degrees F isn't so bad. That's negative 9, by the way. Fahrenheit (The one that doesn't make any basic sense, but is more accurate than Celcius). It's better than 100 degrees and sunny. One can always put more clothes on, but one can only take so much off before being arrested. Or so totally sunburned as to wish you had been. Anyway, the cold keeps out the riff-raff.

I'm Traumatized! Our brave astro-men will defeat the evil Mooninites and their 7,000 dimensions. Already, the enemy has used its Foreigner belt to make Minnesota "Cold as Ice."


(pic via Fecke as well)

When I first heard this story, they said an Adult Swim cartoon had caused a terror alert in Boston. I immediately said "Must be 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force,'", to which my trainer said "Huh," having never heard of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." But I knew deep down that I was right. And I was.

The definition of integrity.

Apparently eagles are getting starved for attention.

Finally, here's your chance to learn something you should already know.

Your Cryogenic leader.

Vampire Free for Several Months

I'd like to apologize for posting late at night. I'll try not to do it ever again.

I have a link to a new web comic, Ask Dr. Eldritch, which is a weird as the name implies (There's a horny troll, and a horny robot, and a horny interdimensional monster hunter ... you get the idea), but I'd ask you to also check out the main page which links to Dr. Eldritch's day job; advice columnist for those who are beset by ghosts, vampires, goblins and other para-normal, super- or preter-natural problems. Really an invaluable resource, wouldn't you agree?

Usually, school principals are snivelling bald piles of goo, but this one decided to have some balls. I may not agree with dress codes, but if you have one, it had better be enforced.

I don't know if Spotty's dealt with her yet, but Katie has made an incredible discovery; Family vacations are good stuff! She (of course) derides that a study was done on the subject by calling it common sense, but that makes me wonder, Is it really better to write a column about a study than to release the study to begin with? But remember, it's only a real "family" vacation if the parents are a married man and woman. Everything else is detrimental to society, no matter how much fun you think you're having.

Your Pull Up Your Pants leader.

They Make Take Our Swords....

Hi.

I'm ambivalent on the banning of guns. But this is just ridiculous.

They are certainly among the range of weapons that are used by people. This reduces their availability except for legitimate reasons. I think if it saves one life or permanent disfigurement it is worthwhile. - RUDI CRAWFORD, A & E CONSULTANT

I must say however, they are allowing swords to be kept for "religious, cultural or sporting purposes," which means that the country will be overrun with sword wielding, permanently disfigured Presbyterians and Druids. A result which I am neither strongly for nor against.

For Ollie Ox, and the rest of you who may be college professors or teachers, here's a primer on how to plagiarize. But not really. The comments include more tips, as well as an argument as to whether the statement "The only people allowed to use the word “colour” are those with Indian surnames" is discriminatory. To which the author answers yes, "because I am an evil imperialist pig and consumed by dark forces."

Aren't we all. (via Millard Fillmore's Bathtub)

Finally, for those of you who fear Big Brother, stay out of the library. First things first: I work at the library, but I do not speak for the library.

Now, I met the smokin' hot Kristin Stinar when she came in, and she's even more smokin' hot in person. This doesn't excuse the fact that the majority of our bathrooms have no cameras, not "a few" a she said. I'd also like to ask her if people might feel "uncomfortable" being secretly filmed by, oh, I don't know, an investigative news team.

I agree that signs indicating surveillance are a good idea, if for nothing more than a deterrent. I just wish we could have shown the video of a homeless guy washing his feet in the sink. It's stuff like that we're able to stop with cameras.

Your Braveheart leader.