I'm Just A Soul Whose Intentions Are Good

I wasn't expecting a torrential downpour as I walked out of the club after working out tonight. (I'm down 15 lbs., by the way.) I guess it's a good thing. Although I saw several sprinklers working hard to water the grass while the rain poured. I'm not irked that much by sprinklers running in the rain. The water is being replenished at the same time. Now, sprinklers that somehow end up aimed directly into the street bug the hell out of me.

Centrum Silver has a new ad campaign for it's Men's vitamins. They are just a little sexist. I'm not talking women in tight clothing and sexist poses. The commercials are pointing out that the viamins are for "just for men." The two ads I've seen also suggest the following things are "just for men:" Golf, television, watches and steak or possibly hamburgers (that one was on the radio). Putting aside the fact that studies show multi-vitaimins don't work, and might actually be bad for you, can we stop pretending these are things that are only liked by men? I hate golf, my wife loves steak more than I do, and TV just a little less, and, the Chicago song notwithstanding, I'm pretty sure everyone likes to know what time it is.

There's a TV show suggestion I've been meaning to make. "Better Off Ted," on ABC. Despite the stupid name, it's a pretty funny show. Jay Harrington charismatically plays Ted, a good guy who is head of R&D at the cartoonishly evil company Veridian Dynamics. (Click the link. It's indicitive of the humor in the show.) His boss, played wonderfully by Portia de Rossi, is a strong businesswoman with no empathy or ability to interact with other people on a personal level. There are plenty of quirky characters, like the research scientists who seem to venerate Ted. The products created also lead to plenty of humor (A hair replacement product ends up making a desk grow hair). The company's poor treatment of the employees is also often played for laughs, although we're not talking Dilbert here. We're talking freezing people in cryogenic chambers.

The humor is similar to "Scrubs" without the fantasy sequences. There are only a few episodes left this summer, but it's worth checking out.

Of course, if you like vampires, "True Blood" is a superior product to "Twilight," and also on HBO, "Hung" looks pretty promising so far. And of course, "The State" is out on DVD in case you forgot to go buy it.

Finally, I watched the movie "Waiting ..." tonight. It was fine, but it gets extra points for having a character point at Dane Cook and call him the worst person ever.

Your Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood leader.

I'm Through Humoring You

I'm watching the Twins attempt to beat Oakland as I type this, so there may be interruptions.

In Monty Pythonesque fashion, Minnesota has gone from winter, to a short spring then straight into autumn. I'm enjoying the cool temps, but a little summer would be nice come July at the folks' place.

They found the tail section of Flight 447. The story I linked doesn't say it, but a radio report said they are close to finding the "black boxes." The term black box is, of course, not literal. There is more than one flight recorder. Also, they aren't necessarily black. "Black box" is a catch all term, and really shouldn't be plural. It's either "flight recorders" or "black box." Of course, aviation professionals are more than welcome to call me an idiot on this.

It's been an expensive week for me. The Affiliate and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary by eating way too much steak at Manny's steak house. We got a free piece of Bailey's Irish Cream cake because we were celebrating, which was cool because we had Irish Cream cake at the wedding. When I say piece of cake, I'm not really capturing the size of the "piece" we got.

I'll also give praise to our server, Rhett. He was entertaining and assured the Affiliate that Lois the Lobster, who was brought to our table, would not be served as dinner that evening.

I also had to pick up the Affiliate's birthday present, since that's at the end of the month. I need to donate to her 3-Day Walk as well. And I'm headed to Chicago Friday to catch a couple of games at Wrigley Field.

Mauer gets a single to left! Rally time! Come on, Morneausie!

Here's a commercial with another guy I know in the entertainment business. He's covered in snakes! His name is Alex Holmes, and apparently he's going to be on something called "iCarly" on Saturday, if you're interested.

Not that TV appearances are that helpful. There was a storyline on "Scrubs" this last year involving Ted getting a girlfriend, played by Kate Miccuci. The two sang a song that I thought was very cute. I also had heard of "Garfunkel & Oates," a name that I found amusing. I had never seen any videos from them, though. Of course, it wasn't until today I learned that Miccuci is part of G&O, and the song in "Scrubs" was a modified version of their song, "Fuck You." (Video not safe for work, and if you didn't figure that out you need to quit using the internet right now.)



Double play. No rally.

Conservatives are easily grossed out. Not that most people like maggots. Well, entomologists, maybe.

Twins lose. Again.

Your Busy leader.

I'm Stuck Here On The Ground, As Cold And Drunk As I Can Be

Today's post title was inspired by this and the fact that it's 4 AM and pouring outside.

You might have noticed my Twitter feed in the right column. If you've been reading it (and seriously, why?), you might have seen mention of "Ice Tea Guy." Let me explain. No, there is too much; let me sum up. Um, never mind, I'll explain the whole thing.

The other day, I showed The Affiliate this picture:


She looked confused. She didn't get it. I said, "Who's the guy in the picture?" She said, "That's the Iced Tea Guy, right?"

That is, of course, The Kool-Aid Man.

She then tried to backpedal. "I mean the Hi-C Guy." Still, wrong, of course, but at least she was guessing something name-brand. She finally figured it out. Give her some credit. She just got her MBA, and is allowed to not know things as useless as this.

I finally got to the point as to why this picture is, indeed, win. Kool-Aid Man is well known for breaking through walls and yelling, "OH, YEAH!". Someone found an actual broken wall and had the presence of mind to put up this picture and photograph it. Whomever you are, I salute you!

Anyway, I've decided that Iced Tea Guy would not break through walls. Instead, he would come calmly through the door, and yell his catchphrase, "INDEED!" And that's Iced Tea Guy.

So that's some time you won't get back. Time lost. And every second lost brings us all closer to the coming zombie apocalypse. (You just got segued!)

The Chicago Tribune seems to be taking it lightly. (Link via a Norwegian) If you want serious coverage, stick with me. Or with these guys. Unfortunately, the Zombie Attack Preparedness Team shares it's initials with Zombies Are People Too (No link, because they're not). The good Z.A.P.T. (that's the zombie fighting one) was featured on an interesting G4 TV show and looked like they really had the goods. And guns.

Oh, I almost forgot. Iced Tea Guy has a sidekick named Lemonade Dude.

A legitimate update to a story that baffled and amused me while back. They caught the gorilla head bandits! Once again, idiots were brought down by the massive secret police operation that is YouTube.

Did I say massive secret police organization? I meant colossal clandestine constabulary cabal. (I didn't originally mean for that to be alliterative; it just happened.) (Also, that four word phrase has never appeared on the internet before today.)

Your Early Morning Rain leader.

Next To This Mole See The Gaping Hole

UPDATE: Gophers get 10 seed in the East. Way to go, Tubby!

Mischke's back!

Sure, it's a web-stream, but hopefully soon it'll be podcasted so I can download it and listen at work.

Between Dan Savage and now Mischke, City Pages is keeping life interesting. I can forgive losing Tom Tomorrow for now.

Today is just beautiful. I actually opened the windows because I was hot. Awesome.

Not so awesome. First off, if you're contractually obligated to pay a bonus, doesn't that make it just a salary? Secondly, are 400 people really going to jump ship in this economy because they didn't get a bonus? How do you find a new job? "Yes, I caused my last company to be bought out by the U.S. government, and then I left because they didn't reward me for destroying the company. I'm looking for $2.5 million a year and guaranteed bonuses." Finally, if these are the best out there, how does any business survive? Maybe AIG should look into people at businesses that didn't die to replace these folks.

I haven't decided how I feel about this group. I may have to pop in and see just how serious they are. A zombie apocalypse plan for the U of M is a good idea, but it had better be solid.

Go Gophers.

Your On The Bubble leader.

Nothing Lasts Forever, Even Cold November Rain

As I write this, there is ice falling from the sky. Which I believe is a sign of the Apocalypse. But before I repent, I will double check.

Nope, no ice. It's atheism for another night, at least.

I got the stinky meat smell out of my car. It took a lot of Febreze, some Oust and a liberal amount of vinegar. Of course, my jumper cables have gained sentience, but I'm hoping that will pass in a few days.

Wait a minute, talking jumper cables ... nope, no mention in the bible. Still OK.

Our Katie (c. Spotty) is enraged about religion in schools. Shocked? Don't be. It's only because it's an Islamic school.

Of course, I agree with her. The school is obviously supporting religion, and specifically Islam. Since it's a public school, it's wrong. But of course, we dangerous atheist lefties support the Muslim hordes and only hate Christians, so we'll ignore this. Oh, wait.

Well, OK. But where's the ACLU, which goes after every little bit of Christianity? Why isn't the ACLU upset about this religion in public schools? Um, never mind.

I'll spend some more time looking for hypocrisy that proves that Christians are the only group discriminated against in this country. Being on the KAR blogroll brings responsibility, after all.

Anyway, until Katie decides that religion in public schools is wrong, not just the religions she doesn't like, I'll continue to ridicule her. Because she is really worthless. Honestly, Star Tribune, hire Cap'n Fishsticks as a columnist, or maybe Mitch Berg. Someone who can come up with an original idea, not just copy from other right-wingers. Someone who can get off of politics for 5 seconds and write about the community without making it into an anti-left screed. (Not swifteeeeeeee, obviously.)

Here's a Google-bomb for Katherine Kersten. Or maybe swiftee. I haven't decided. Hell, let's do both! (Not safe for work)

Your Lincoln Workout leader.

March Comes In Like A Lion

March goes out like a lamb. In today's case, that means it's white and fluffy.



Lousy Smarch weather.

Twins win opener! My World Series tickets have already been ordered.

Interestingly, if this were 2010 the game may have been cancelled. Which is bullshit. Play in the snow. Call it home field advantage.

Your We're Gonna Win Twins! leader.

Here It's December Every Day

What a beautiful day, I say. I love a good snowstorm. This isn't the best I've seen, but it's a good start to the season.





Also, I forgot to mention perhaps the greatest Christmas song of all; The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York."

Inmates take money over fruit. Don't tell Det. Crews.

Your Winter Wonderland leader.

I Washed It Down With Gasoline and Dried It With A Match

If April showers bring May flowers, what do April snowstorms bring?

I believe that the worst act comitted by the Germans was not the Holocaust, but the introduction of accordions to the Mexicans.

Now that I've offended about 9 different groups, I'll continue.

This is an interesting post on Atheism. I put myself in the Awakened category. It was the realization that the stories I was being told were not original that got me to thinking, "What makes this telling of the story truth, and not the others." Why was Osiris' resurrection not worthy of worship? Or Mithras? Or Baldur? I came to the understanding that not believeing in all of the other deities had a logical conclusion of not believing in the Christian one.

I've heard tell that since some parts of the Bible are historically accurate, it must be true. We've found the ruins of Troy. Does this mean that Odysseus really faced the cyclops Polyphemus and the Sirens? Was Achilles truly dipped into the Styx and rendered invulnerable. (Speaking of which, why didn't his mother turn him over and dip his other foot into the river? Much suffering could have been avoided.) I like to think it did happen. I've wanted to take a cruise following the path of Odysseus through the Mediterranean Sea, with the ultimate hope of finding the lotophagi and having a lazy weekend.

Of course, unlike PZ, I don't hate the religious. I feel about the strongly devout the same way I do about devout fans of "American Idol." I get a little annoyed when I have to hear people talk about it all the time, but whatever makes you happy, right? I don't understand the obsession to such a weak show, but I do like some crappy TV myself.

If someone tried to force me to watch AI every week, I might get a little angrier. If I had to profess my love of Clay Aikin to be considered a good person in America, I might consider drastic measures.

(Ooh, doorbell - be right back)

I'm back. The Affiliate got a Fed-Ex delivery. And the delivery woman was cute as hell. Nice.

I've decided to abandon my last train of thought, because my point, if I had one, was getting lost in an overextended metaphor. That happens to me a lot.

I'm off to comfort the cat, who is frightened of the lawn mowers outside.

Your Kelly Clarkson is Not God leader.

P.S. I was kidding about the Holocaust. That was worse that the accordions. But not much.

I Want to Make You Move, Because You're Standing Still

OK. I feel better now. We got about 13 inches here Staurday night. Of snow, I mean. Ahem.

Speaking of which, remember when Tim Hardaway said he hates gay people? Of course, Hardaway is what psychologists call a "huge asshole" (c. Bill Mahr). George Takei, on the other hand, is a wonderfully forgiving human being.



It's true, I'm told.

Continuing the theme of butts and sex (c. Swiftee), the host of this party is a friend of mine. She has not, however, convinced me to stick anything up my ass. She may have won this guy over, though.

Your Let's Forget this Ever Happened leader.

You Don't Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Wind Blows

It was coming. The great winter storm of 2007. 12-18 inches in 2 days. Pandemonium was to reign. Kool-Aid Report had the warnings.

AVOID SLEDDING. SLEDDING HAS BEEN KNOWN TO CAUSE INJURY TO THE HEAD, NECK AND COXYX COCKSYX COXXYXX BUTT.

I love snow. I have today off of work, so I was going to sit back with some coffee, then later hot chocolate, then maybe a glass or two of McCallan 12 Year. Instead, got this:


All of a sudden, last night the predictions got changed from 8-12 inches (already down from earlier in the week) to 3-6 inches over 2 days. This is what fell over Friday night. (Note: the big red snowflake is just a window sticky thing, not an actual red snowflake, which would have made this a completely different post.)

I've heard it said that weathermen are wrong to often to trust them, but right too often to ignore them. They haven't been right at all this winter. There was a day they predicted 3 inches of snow, and no snow fell at all.

I'm ready to move to upstate New York, just so I can get some decent snow. Who's with me?

Your Pile It On leader.