We Are Family!

Congratulations, New York! Look for a recall against the republicans who had the strength to do the right thing.

Meanwhile, Minnesota will be voting whether to go backward and ban gay marriage, which is already illegal under state law. If it's really about letting the people decide, make the amendment yes or no to legalizing gay marriage. Just sayin'.

Maybe by the time The Spinoff is old enough, if he's gay he'll be able to choose a partner based on love, like his parents and grandparents did.

Celebrate your Pride this weekend. It should be a doozy!

Your Fabulous For a Day leader

The Heat Was Hot and The Ground Was Dry

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! No word on whether Brett "Baby Cheesus" Favre will be playing this year. More on this developing story as it develops.

Someone who will be playing is Hussein Abdullah, who has a plan for Ramadan, since he is fasting during the day, which means he can't eat or drink, even water, during the day, even when practicing. When Bud Grant was coach, this was SOP for all players. Of course, back then, the players weren't downing massive amounts of diuretics to mask all of the steroids they weren't taking, so it wasn't as big of a deal.

The real question is whether Abdullah will be allowed to play against the Jets. After all, the New Meadowlands is only about 12 miles from lower Mahattan. Will New York conservatives allow a devout muslim to get that close to Ground Zero?

Your Waiting For The Season To Start leader.

These Are The Ways The World Will End

In case you aren't a Facebook friend, and you care, we're having a boy.

And apparently Mark Dayton won the MN DFL primary. Which proves once again that the DFL endorsement process doesn't really find the person most DFLers will vote for. Of course, winning the primary hasn't led to too many victories lately either, so Dayton's got his work cut out for him.

Of course, Tom Emmer probably thinks Relativity is a liberal plot, so he's got that going for him.

So, I ordered the CD "Trebuchet" by George Hrab. Hrab was pretty smart. He put the CD up on his "Geologic Podcast" for free, without track breaks. There's not much chance I would have bought the disc, but after hearing it on the podcast, I decided to buy it.

Anyway, I thought I'd share what is the greatest e-mail I've ever received from a commercial website.

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.
A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, August 10, 2010.
We hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. In commemoration, we have placed your picture on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sigh...
We miss you already. We'll be right here at http://cdbaby.com/, patiently awaiting your return.

Awesome.

Anyway, check out the "Geologic Podcast." (It's not really about geology at all) Also check out "Trebuchet," which has some really good tunes on it.

I'll also take a moment to recomend the "Read It and Weep" podcast. It's a podcast about 3 guys who partake in the worst books, movies and TV and then rip the hell out of it. They made their bones on the "Twilight" series, but they do a good job on pretty much everything. It's really funny, even if you haven't read what they are critiquing.

On a side note, I started listen listening to "Read It and Weep" a few months ago. About 1 month ago, they started following me on Twitter, which was odd because I wasn't following them, nor had I contacted them in any way. Strange, this internet of ours.

Your Getting the House Ready leader.

As If In A Dream, The One And Only V

Ugh. The DFL continues to show it doesn't want to win. I'm still waiting for the DFL to explain how a bill passed 125-9 was sucessfully vetoed. Sure, all the repubs ran away. Who were they? Why haven't they been asked over and over why they changed their votes? MAK has had trouble with the repubs when she had a clear majority. How will she handle them in a straight-up election? She's shown me nothing that says she can win, and plenty to say she can't.

It's hard to believe religious conservatives want to remove Thomas Jefferson from history books. It would make it easier for people like Sarah Palin to lie.

Prof. Stephen Hawking warns against communication with aliens. He's right about the odds of something being out there. Where he's wrong is saying not to explore because the aliens might be unfriendly and destroy us. (Also, he is just regurgitating the plot of "Independence Day" and the tv show "V." See what I did with my post title, now?)

We are humans. What we do is explore. There's always been a segment of society who said, "Don't cross that river, there are monsters on the other side." The maps with sea monters and "Here there be dragons" (Should I warn you of the horror of that link? Nah.) put on to discourage exploration. And there are always people who ignore it.

Prof. Hawking uses a Columbus analogy, saying we would be like the aboriginal Americans being invaded by the aliens. Possibly. Or we could be Columbus, finding a beautiful new world for humanity out among the stars. Maybe we could even do a better job of not virtually wiping out any inhabitants on that new world.

Either way, fear is a poor excuse not to explore.

Besides, if angry aliens do come to steal our water, we can use it against them with ... The Homeopathy Bomb! (Yay!)

Ask yourself, What Would Jesus Do? (NSFW) Or, clearly, don't, because you suck.

I've pretty much given up on the idea that I'll post Italy pictures. That involves work.

Your Boldly Go Where No One Has Gone Before leader.

Now It's Time To Say What I Forgot To Say

Worried you might have swine flu? Click here to find out. (via The Affiliate)

And they've found Patient Zero. (via Norwegianity)

MN Senate approves medical marijuana. This is a good thing. Of course, Gov. Pawlenty (R) will veto this. Note the "R." The party that is so afraid of the government getting involved in medical decisions vis-a-vis single-payer health care has no problem telling doctors what they can and can't prescribe right now.

Girl beats back muggers with baton. Hey, Flash, is this normal marching band training?

Cecil answers the hard hitting questions of our time, like, "Are women's breasts getting bigger?"

Your I Certainly Hope So leader.

You Don't Have To Pray To A Little Tin God

God can't protect you from swine flu. This one's new. Apparently if you're sick, the RC Church doesn't want you coming around. Probably because you're a sinner and will infect the righteous. If you really believed, you wouldn't get sick, right?

At least Obama was able to start the flu to get his HHS Secretary confirmed. Why hasn't Michele Bachmann picked this up yet?

Because she's busy making a link (but not really) between the Obama swine flu and the Jimmy Carter Gerald Ford swine flu. (Oops.) And a link between pedophiles and gays. And changing the general make-up of Earth's atmosphere.

Michele Bachmann is a standard-bearer for the conservative movement. Still.

Here's someone making the north metro proud. (UPDATE: Link fixed) This is a favorite label of mine "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. Fridley isn't in Bachmann's district, by the way.

IBM has apparently never heard of Skynet. A robot loaded with all human knowledge would be inherently dangerous. Add some lasers and a chain saw and we're all doomed.

Your "This Post For External Use Only" leader.

Which One Will You Skate Away On?

Spring is here!

I checked my paycheck today, and clearly the Tea Parties worked. I couldn't find that massive Obama tax increase anywhere.

If you're having a bad day, this site will make you feel better. There's nothing like reading about the misfortune of others. Schadenfreude, you say? Man, those Germans have a word for everything. (c. Homer Simpson.)

If you're looking for the funny, look no further than Teknikal Diffikulties. Spelling aside, this is simply exquisite. Cayenne Chris Conroy manages to put together weekly old-time radio style comedy shows by himself. He writes, performs and produces the whole thing. His is a dry wit, and nerdy as hell, but it's funny. Go back and check out "The Account," a serial show about a journey through what he calls "The Waking World," a world where the familiar is mixed in with the fantastic. I'm still slogging through the extensive archives, and loving every minute of it. Hell, even the guy's updates are entertaining.

Michigan mayor demands ticket. The guy got a warning for 45 in a 40 MPH zone. He demanded a ticket to avoid favoritism. That's pretty cool. If I were him, I'd take it to court just for the irony.

Finally, there's "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." I was going to just try and ignore this, but someone just wouldn't let me. Seriously, I know nothing about literature, so I can't even fake my way through a joke here. Zombies are bad. That is all.

Your Lost For Words leader.

Changes Aren't Permanent ... But Change Is

Al, Al, Al; settle down and wait for the court to issue a ruling. I'm sick of people thinking they are the most important thing in the country, and the Senate just can't function without them.

After all, even "hyper-partisan election thief" and known kitten-eater Mark Ritchie says he can't confirm the results until the court challenge is done. It's right there in state law;

209.12 CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE.
When a contest relates to the office of senator or a member of the house of representatives
of the United States, the only question to be decided by the court is which party to the contest
received the highest number of votes legally cast at the election and is therefore entitled to receive
the certificate of election. The judge trying the proceedings shall make findings of fact and
conclusions of law upon that question. Evidence on any other points specified in the notice of
contest, including but not limited to the question of the right of any person to nomination or office
on the ground of deliberate, serious, and material violation of the provisions of the Minnesota
Election Law, must be taken and preserved by the judge trying the contest, or by some person
appointed by the judge for that purpose; but the judge shall make no findings or conclusion
on those points.
After the time for appeal has expired, or in case of an appeal, after the final judicial
determination of the contest, upon application of either party to the contest, the court administrator
of the district court shall promptly certify and forward the files and records of the proceedings,
with all the evidence taken, to the presiding officer of the Senate or the House of Representatives
of the United States. The court administrator shall endorse on the transmittal envelope or
container the name of the case and the name of the party in whose behalf the proceedings were
held, and shall sign the endorsement.

(Emphasis mine) Let the court make its ruling.

Your Take A Deep Breath leader.

All My Sins ... I Said That I Would Pay For Them

(Closed Circuit to Bruce: I'm still OK. The excessive posting means nothing.)

I've added a link on the right for people who might think this site needs more bacon. You're welcome. I've also added a couple of humor blogs to the ol' 'roll; The Comics Curmudgeon who reads and mocks the funny pages (so you don't have to), and The Bloggess doesn't seem to have a purpose, but is pretty fuckin' funny.

We're still senatorless. The recount has been long and ugly. The Republicans have done nothing but claim fraud since well before the election. They call Democrats "elitists," yet say that unless you filled in your oval perfectly on the ballot that you are stupid and, contrary to state law, your vote shouldn't count. They claim that only Democrats are stupid enough to not follow the rules on the ballot. They yell about illegal votes, yet there's is the only party to receive a bona-fide illegal vote.

Every attack of the Franken campaign's tactics during the recount could be aimed at Coleman as well, especially when it came to challenging ballots. Remember when Coleman said if he were losing at the end of an election he'd concede? It was a stupid statement then, and when the wind changes, it's challenge time. I have no problem with election challenges brought under state law. That's a good thing in an election this close. It's just nice to see Coleman finally thinking state election law is good. Too bad it's only when it benefits him.

I spent most of 2 hours earlier today listening to paid Republican operative Michael Brodkorb claiming that SOS Ritchie stole the election for the Democrats. I say claiming, because he didn't actually give any evidence to the point. In fact, when someone challenged him for evidence, he said a few things about irregularities in the precincts and then hung up on her.

Yes, there were irregularities. There was 1 (not 23, as the WSJ claimed) precinct with 31 more votes than those who signed in. It's an acknowledged mistake involving absentee sign-ins. And there was a precinct where there were fewer ballots than votes counted on election night. Michael says there was a double standard because they accepted the ballot count in one place and the machine count in another. Pay close attention: These are two different issues. If two precincts had fewer ballots than votes and they were treated differently, that would be a double standard. What Brodkorb's outraged about isn't.

It has also been claimed that there may have been double counted ballots. No one can prove which ballots these are, and I am wondering why Coleman's camp assumes they were all for Franken. If they can show who the double votes were for, then remove them. If not, then something needs to be put in place to stop it from happening in the future, but you can't just throw random votes out without some assurance they were the double votes.

Brobkorb was also very holier-than-thou about Franken that he "doesn't want to count all of the votes." Nevermind that Coleman didn't want to count them all before the recount started (Franken should have waived the recount, remember?); he doesn't want to count them all now. There were 12,000 rejected absentee ballots. Coleman brought 650 to court. If he's so interested in every vote being counted, where were the rest? I'd like to see every legal vote counted, and would have no problem with all of the rejected ballots being re-evaluated. All of them. Not just the ones that might benefit a particular candidate.

I've also heard a lot of complaints because someone saw ballots with the circle filled in and and X through it that were counted for Franken but the same looking ballot was not counted for Coleman. If the entire ballot had a filled circle with an X through it, that's clear voter intent, unless you think the voter decided after filling out the ballot to not vote for anybody, but still submitted the ballot. On the other hand, if only one vote had an X through it, that's less clear. I would think without another filled circle in that race it should count, but the officials decided otherwise. That's not fraud. State Law says you must look at the voters intent. Looking at the whole ballot might show a pattern. A pattern shows intent, don't you think?

Here's a test: If I write the letter "C," and that C is the first letter of a word, tell me what sound the C makes. The correct answer is "I don't know, because it depends on the rest of the word." The same is true of voter intent. (By the way, the word is circumnavigate, and therefore it makes an "S" sound)

Now the right wants a run-off election. They didn't want that when Coleman was ahead. Conservatives attack Instant Run-off Voting because they think it will lead to Democratic victories in close races. Now they want to change the rules when they lost and immediately have a run-off election. I agree with run-offs. Michael, you've got some pull in the Republican party. Why not get them to change the law for the next election. But you can't do it for this one.

Again, Brodkorb is a paid Republican operative, and his side has been claiming election fraud since before the election. Republican Sarah Janacek came on the show and basically said Ritchie has done the best job he could. Yes, there have been problems in the election. Ritchie deserves some blame for these problems. Can you prove that Ritchie intentionally influenced the recount to favor Franken, rather than simply having run a poor recount? Can you prove that every problem you have brought up was not dealt with according to the best interpretation of state election law? If not, your accusations of cheating and fraud are crap.

In closing; I didn't vote for either candidate, Lizard People seems to have some good ideas on the economy and the DFL needs to drastically change how they choose their candidates in the future so they can avoid these problems in the future. I don't much care who the Republicans run.

Your Focus On The New Blogroll Stuff leader.

P.S. (Closed Circuit to Bruce: I hope you figured out the secret message)

Just Enough Knowledge To Know I Don't Know Anything

I've been watching the old TV show "Sliders" on my X-Box Netflix queue. I've been a fan of the parallel dimension idea since I was young, and traveling to different Earths was a great concept. Of course, they often landed on Earths that were very similar to ours. I am curious why they never landed on any other Egyptian worlds that were almost-but-not-quite the Egypt world from the 3rd season.

On a side note, my next cat will be named Schrödinger.

I enjoy reading right-wing blogs and listening to right-wing radio (which can be the same thing here in Minnesota). I do it for two reasons: I've learned that knowing the opponent's argument helps solidify your own; and it reminds me that the "liberals" the right are railing against aren't me.

I've realized that someone with my beliefs couldn't be elected to office by either political party. I've often said I'm not as liberal as some people think I am, and not as conservative as others think I should be. People on both sides of the isle consider "moderates" to be wishy-washy morons who can't decide on an issue.

That may sometimes be true, but a political moderate can also be someone who doesn't know why being against gun control must also mean being against abortion or believing gays should be allowed to marry also means you must accept smoking bans. I am against strict gun control and pro-choice. I am for allowing gays to marry and against smoking bans. Who would have me?

There are so many issues that have nothing to do with each other that somehow seem to fall in party line. There are those of us who think that both raising taxes and cutting spending are the way out of our budget crisis. Let's face it, Minneapolis, the Target Center green roof is a bad idea. The library green roof was a good idea, though. The difference being that theoretically the library should be around a lot longer than the Target Center. On the other hand small business is booming in MN due to layoffs. Jason Lewis et al would have you believe that no one would ever start a business in MN due to taxes.

I accept that government has a role in America, and for that I would be called a socialist by some. The problem is that business does nothing except for profit. There are benefits to society that aren't profitable. There are also luxuries that may and should not be available to all. Success should have some rewards, after all. It is what we think is which that makes us a "moonbat" or "wingnut."

I also know that entrepreneurs built this country. We often over-regulate business, and then complain when they flee to other nations. We can be business-friendly without screwing employees and the environment, but that means picking our battles. Just banning everything isn't the answer.

I believe in paying for public college for anyone who wants to go. In return, those students must maintain a "B" average or the grant turns into a loan. Those students who should be in college will be, and those who shouldn't will be less likely to bring down the rest. I also think that mandatory secondary school needs to keep the needs of all the kids, not just the lowest achievers, in mind. High achievers are harmed by being mixed with average and below-average students, and so are the rest of us when the best don't live up to their potential. Failure is important to learn, and some kids are smarter than others.

I believe that people (excluding children) receiving public benefits from the government should work to the best of their ability. Welfare shouldn't be a simple handout, and someone in genuine need should be more than willing to work for pay.

Today I heard someone suggest that investment and savings should be tax free. It sounds nice, until you point out that those who already have billions would pay no taxes. The already rich don't need work income. Meanwhile, those making very little don't save or invest, so there's a loss in revenue with no benefit to the majority of people.

My Brother is an actuary at a large firm. Whenever his managers complain about "Taxes on the rich," he offers to exchange salaries to relieve their tax burden. They never accept. The higher your salary, the more you go home with, regardless of the tax rate. Now, I'm not advocating a 90% tax rate, but saying that a progressive tax means there is nothing to work harder for is a lie.

On the other hand, perhaps there should be a minimum tax rate. Everyone should have a stake in where their money is going. They say there's a large portion of people paying no income tax, but when I was making $25,000 a year I still paid income tax, and I was a single guy paying no rent. But since I've always taken a standard deduction, I don't know what kind of tax breaks are available. I know most people are paying property taxes, and everyone pays sales tax, so saying someone pays nothing in taxes isn't true unless they get all of that back in deductions. I'm no financial expert, so help is always appreciated.

As for health care, there is a difference between single-payer and government-run health care. We have the benefit of seeing what works and doesn't work in other nations. I'd like to see legislators realize that what's good for them should be good for everyone. It's easy to complain about a longer wait for an MRI when you can get one right away now. It's different when you can't get one at all.

I'm for decriminalizing drugs. I'm also for lowering the drinking age. Let people make some mistakes. It's a healthy lesson to society when some people screw up.

I don't hate President Bush, and I don't have "Bush Derangement Syndrome." I've disagreed with much of what Bush did in office. I also don't think he is dumb. I've come to realize he's even worse; he plays dumb so a Harvard/Yale educated son of a former president can be liked by the large segment of Americans who think "elite" is a bad word and think "learning" is for pussy nerds who don't like sports.

I also don't think Obama is the second coming. The right made fun of "The One" and "The Obamessiah." I don't know anyone who thinks that way about Obama. Those that do aren't really political minded people. My decision was based on seeing a guy who is intellectually curious, and not afraid to show it.

You can call Obama corrupt because he comes from Chicago, but show me a politician who isn't corrupt and I'll show you a politician who hasn't been elected to much.

I am moderate enough to not like one party having all of the power. I'll be going after the Democrats a lot more in the next 2 years. Not because they're elite socialists, but because full governmental power tends to make people overstep their bounds. We are a moderate country. Not center-right (whatever that means) but center. Few people are represented by either party. I certainly am not, and calling me a moonbat doesn't make it more true. Yes I lean left, but not so far as to not recognize the other side isn't always wrong. Except on religion.

Part 2: The Blogosphere! Coming soon.

Your Sorry About The Lack Of Humor leader.

FRAUD!!!!!!!

Illegal vote counted in MN senate election ... for Norm Coleman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For all of the talk of illegal Franken votes that was spewing from the right-wing blogosphere, the only proven illegal vote was for Coleman. Heh. Damn you, ACORN! You cheated for the wrong side!

More on this developing story as it develops.

Your Wait, ... What? leader.

DIckhead, Dickhead, Dickhead; Check It Out!

Oh, Rod Blagojevich, you rascally bastard. Appointing a senator whilst facing indictment for probably trying to sell that senate seat.

“The people of Illinois are entitled to have two United States senators represent them in Washington, D.C,” Blagojevich said, Unfettered by the cloud of controversy surrounding his ongoing investigation. “As governor, I am required to make this appointment. If I don't make appointment, then people of Illinois will be deprived of their appropriate voice and vote in the U.S. Senate.”

Fuck you, you arrogant prick. We here in Minnesota don't know who our next senator is, and our Governor may have to appoint someone. He's in no hurry. Is there any chance you're afraid you won't be in office on the 20th of January?

At least the guy he picked seems like an adequate choice. Of course, who knows if he paid for the seat? That's the inherent problem with the situation. Burris would have been better off refusing to be appointed in such a situation.

And Burris is the consummate politician, of course.

“I have no comment on what the governor's circumstance is. And as a former attorney general of this state, I know and I think most of you all know, that in this legal process, you're innocent until you're proven guilty.”

But Burris had much stronger words for Blagojevich just two weeks ago after Blagojevich was arrested.

“The evidence that's been presented is purely appalling," he said at a Dec. 13th news conference. "Should that come out to be the case of what our governor was attempting to do, I find it just reprehensible."

Nothing more political than taking the exact opposite stand from week to week. Again, the honorable thing to do is wait.

But wait, there's more. The Senate has threatened to deny Burris the seat. They've said all along that Blago shouldn't appoint anyone, because, "Anyone appointed by Gov. Blagojevich cannot be an effective representative of the people of Illinois and, as we have said, will not be seated by the Democratic caucus."

But that doesn't sit well with former black panther and current congressman from IL Bobby Rush. Let's go to the story:

“I applaud the governor for his decision and I would ask you to not hang or lynch the appointee, as you tried to castigate the appointer -- separate, if you will, the appointee from the appointer."

Fuck you, Congressman. Lynch? Would you have used that word if a white guy was going to be denied the seat? You're full of shit. As we see here:

"There are no African-Americans in the Senate," Rush said. "And I don't think that anyone — any U.S. senator who's sitting in the Senate right now — wants to go on record to deny one African-American for being seated in the U.S. Senate."

So the only reason Burris should be seated is that he's black? That's a fine political system you've envisioned.

Burris should be denied the seat, if only because he was dumb enough to accept it. He should then move into congressman Rush's district and run against him for Congress. It would be tough for Rush to attack him, since Rush has already said he should be in the Senate. And if the voters of his district are smart, they'll be looking for a way to get this guy gone.

I'm glad I'm not an Illinois Democrat. I hope they find a way to get these dickheads out of office, and put good people into office. Burris may be one of those good people, but taking office from a corrupt governor isn't the way to go.

Your Angry and Vulgar leader.

P.S. If you aren't from the Twin Cities, you may have never heard the bit that my post title comes from. It's here, and certainly is not safe for work. Enjoy!

Screwed Us Both Again

So, through a convoluted process that I won't get into, but started with the god-awful movie "Carnosaur" being on at 3:45 am, I ended up on Wikipedia last night. What else is new?

I was reading about deinonychus, the kick ass dinosaur that is represented far better by the velociraptors in the significantly better than "Carnosaur" "Jurrasic Park" than actual velociraptors (which were much smaller than depicted in "JP"). Or so I thought.

They had this picture of what D. antirrhopus may have looked like:

Yes, those are feathers.

In the many years since I have studied dinosaurs, apparently it has been decided that most or all coelurosaurs had feathers. I have known since I was a kid that birds are dinosaurs, and I'd heard that it had been theorized that dinos might have feathers, but I didn't know that it had become so accepted that the main rendering of a deinonychus would be feathered.

Most people still call apatosaurus "brontosaurus," which hasn't been its name for 100 years or so. I wonder how long it will take people to see T-Rex not as a giant lizard, but more like Big Bird, if Big Bird had 5 inch long teeth and tiny arms.

I wonder if Joe Liberman ran for President as a Republican if he would still keep stay on the Democratic Party's good side. It sounds like a joke, but I wouldn't bet against it. The guy campaigned for Sen. McCain. Unless he votes 100% with what the Dem leadership wants, it makes no sense to keep him around. And I'm guessing the people of Connecticut would be against their elected officials doing solely what a party wants. If the Dems don't throw him out the first time he doesn't end a fillibuster, they deserve no support.

The 'Farian has stronger words on the subject.

And Alaska saves themselves from being named the craziest state in the union. The fact that a recently convicted multiple felon facing jail time (who boldly stated that he had not been convicted of anything) came as close as he did keeps them in the running, though. Also their large number of moose, considered by some to be the craziest of all animals. I wonder how the Democrat running the election in Alaska stole it for Mark Begich, who was behind on election night.

Don't write songs about shooting people when you actually shot them. At the very least, don't call them out by name. After all, we don't know exactly whom Johnny Cash shot just to watch die.

Your Terrible Bird leader.

Closed Circuit to the Minnesota Right-Wing Blogosphere

Ahem...

Alas, Ralph Wiggum loses. Maybe next time.

As I sit here with my promised glass of 18 year old McCallan, I just can't help but picture Mitch lamenting the fact that it didn't rain today.

I'm also shocked that the Senate race is not called by now. I predicted Coleman by 4. I'm pissed that Bachmann is going to win, but I'll live with the fact that she should only have two years until her district no longer exists.

It's an historic night. McCain gave an incredible concession speech, and we can all look forward to 95% tax rates in January.

I'm kidding about that last point. But forced gay marriages are coming, that's for sure.

Your Arab Muslim Atheist Communist Socialist Anti-American Pro-Terrorist Foreign-Born leader.

This Is Our Decision, To Live Fast And Die Young (Vikings 3-4)

Colin Powell endorses Barack obama? Are people wearing hats on their feet and hamburgers eating people? My favorite line is when he just admonishes Michelle Bachmann for this comedy bit.

The Vikings put up a valiant effort against the Bears at Soldier Field, but lost 48-41. Each team individually beat the Over-Bet on this game, and i figured the Vikes would lose by 20, so all in all it wasn't a disaster. I didn't listen to "Vikings Fan Line" to see how the callers blamed this game on Childress, so if you have any theories as to why Childress should be fired because of this game, let me know.

Speaking of Fan Line, I'm guessing Jeff Dubay wasn't hosting. The story doesn't say what the drug was, but in the comments it mentions Meth. Someone says it was 6 grams of Meth, but that would be 3rd degree possession, so I'm not sure I buy that, at least not the amount. I also saw "meth precursors" which means ephedrine or pseudoephedrine (e.g. Sudafed). (That could also mean red phosphorus, but I doubt it.) Too much cold/asthma medication? He was mysteriously gone earlier this year, and rehab is the official rumor. Maybe the speed is to supplement the weight loss program he's been hyping. And stop calling the guy "Puffy," for god's sake; it's driving him to drugs.

I'm guessing he'll be off the air for a while. May I suggest expanding The Common Man Progrum to 5 hours?

Your Wishing Him The Best leader.

Debate Review

My friends, the debate sucked. To be fair, I watched/listened to only about half.

What I saw was two guys who couldn't follow the rules that they set for themselves. Rules they never should have set. After all, asking a politician to talk for only 1 minute is like asking a cop not to complain about stuff. And Tom Brokaw should be ashamed for how poorly he moderated. .

As far as I could tell, Obama didn't say anything of note. Period. Just platitudes and slogans and blaming McCain for the economic crisis.

On the other hand, John McCain did decide the government would be better than the private market in renegotiating bad home loans. I've wondered why banks wouldn't go ahead and renegotiate a bad loan rather than lose the cash, but Johnny Mac wants the big bad government to just buy them all and hope it works out.

Maybe it's a good plan, but let's stop with the small government BS. And tell me how you'll pay for it. If it's higher taxes, fine, but admit it. Also, he blamed Obama for the economic crisis.

Anyway, no one's mind will be changed, but there's little that will change anyone's mind. The little gauge that showed what the "undecided" voters were thinking kept going up for both candidates when they said pretty things about the American people, and down whenever they mentioned numbers of any kind. Apparently, anything of substance immediately turns off voters.

Hard to believe our campaigns are the way they are.

Your Not So Confident leader.

I Remember Throwin' Punches Around and Preachin' From My Chair

News Flash: John McCain is Against Protecting Kids from Sexual Predators.

What other reason does he have for attacking Obama on a bill that would protect kids from sexual predators? That's the ad I would run, but Obama spokesman Bill Burton had a decent response:

"It is shameful and downright perverse for the McCain campaign to use a bill that was written to protect young children from sexual predators as a recycled and discredited political attack against a father of two young girls - a position that his friend Mitt Romney also holds. Last week, John McCain told Time magazine he couldn't define what honor was. Now we know why."

As for the VP candidate, why is it when Obama suggests taxing oil companies, he's a socialist anti-American, but when Palin does it, there's no mention by the right? In fact, it sounds like he may have based his idea on hers.

Who knows what Palin thinks, when she can't tell the truth about anything. Of course she's getting good numbers. That's what happens when you say great things about yourself, no matter the truth of them.

Palin on the bridge to nowhere: "Thanks but no thanks." - It's easy to say "no thanks" when you no longer have any chance to get the money. Harder when you think the money is coming.

McCain on Palin selling the Governor's jet. "She sold it on eBay. And made a profit!" That one's completely true, except it didn't sell on eBay and she didn't make a profit.

Palin: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending." She could have saved them even more had she not taken extra pay to live at home. Yes it's legal. But seriously, is the salary of governor of Alaska so low that she can't afford to live in her own home?

I gained respect for Palin for her fight against corruption in Alaska, and that was after her nomination. Her own ethics charges keep going back and forth (The guy she wanted fired seems like he deserves it, but all of the testimony is biased). I hope she comes out clean on that. I still don't want her helping run the country.

This is why I don't write about politics much. While her statements may be technically true (She did put the airplane on eBay, after all), they are so misleading as to be totally worthless statements. I'm sure there's a list of these about the democratic ticket as well. In fact, here's one, just to be fair.

Oh, and as for all the talk about Obama raising my taxes, turns out it may not be true. According to this site, I would pay $791 more in taxes under McCain. The Affiliate and I would need to double our income and not have any kids to be better off under McCain. Taxwise, that is.

Your Discouraged leader.

Until I Get My Vengance, I Will Never End This Mayhem

This will probably be my last post for a couple of weeks due to douchenozzles who think breaking windows and blowing up cars isn't violence.

Speaking of violence, I'm looking forward to this game. I don't normally like commercials, but every once in a while one tickles me. If you want to make me laugh, take a gangster rap style song and play it in a different style. For example:



In more serious news, I've intercepted a report from a clandestine lab:

On one hand, this could be incredibly scary, especially considering the cat I recently posted about. On the other hand, it is certainly possible that cats always want human flesh. In any case, keep your eyes open.

The DNC is in Denver, so of course in nearby Boulder:

And speaking of the DNC; Your music between speakers sucks. Royally blows. "Celebrate?" "Isn't She Lovely?" Now, the crowd seemed to be enjoying the songs (which made me incredibly sad), but let's spice it up a little. With the recent announcement that the Democratic Party is a "party of faith," maybe Stevie Wonder's "Superstitious" would be a good choice.

And CNN, explain the Noise from the Floor graphic and why it randomly goes up and down independent of the cheers and applause of the crowd. It's really annoying (unless you don't have HD, in which case you are spared).

Your Strained Segue leader.

I'm A Bad Boy For Breakin' Her Heart

I was not impressed with the U.S. Olympic teams today. Sure, the soccer team drew The Netherlands 2-2, but they clearly should have won and glided into the next round. (Hint: There is an HD-Only Olympic soccer channel, at least on DirecTV Dish Network. Basketball too) I have also become suddenly interested in seeing more of the Canadian women's soccer team after cathing the end of their game last night.

And the girls gymnastics team kept falling off of things. I'm not real knowledgeable in gymnastics, but I'm sure falling is bad.

And while the men's basketball team scored a solid victory over China, they should never lose an Olympic game ever.

Finally, I was surprised to see President Bush appear in front of a picture of Mao Tse-dong during an interview on NBC. I wish he could explain why talking to China is the best way to fight their abysmal human rights record, but talking to anyone else evil is worthless.

Let's see some swimming medals, my fellow Americans, to save the day!

Your We Can Do Better leader.

Update: Way to go, guys, on the 4x100 freestyle. France ain't smashing anything today.

Dream Of Californication

Charley Q has a suggestion for John McCain on the VP front. I think it's brilliant, but I'd rather Gardsie stay right where he is.

Since I don't have Showtime, I just started watching the David Duchovney comedy "Californication" on DVD last night. It is the funnies show I've seen in a while, and there are plenty of boobies to be seen. could one ask for anything more?

Dear History Channel: I understand that Michael Crichton wrote a popular book a while ago, but could you help the world wean itself off using the word "Jurassic" to mean dinosaur or, god help us, simply big. Renaming "Jurassic Fight Club" would be a good start.

Have a pleasant week.

Your Working Too Much leader.