I'm Just A Soul Whose Intentions Are Good

I wasn't expecting a torrential downpour as I walked out of the club after working out tonight. (I'm down 15 lbs., by the way.) I guess it's a good thing. Although I saw several sprinklers working hard to water the grass while the rain poured. I'm not irked that much by sprinklers running in the rain. The water is being replenished at the same time. Now, sprinklers that somehow end up aimed directly into the street bug the hell out of me.

Centrum Silver has a new ad campaign for it's Men's vitamins. They are just a little sexist. I'm not talking women in tight clothing and sexist poses. The commercials are pointing out that the viamins are for "just for men." The two ads I've seen also suggest the following things are "just for men:" Golf, television, watches and steak or possibly hamburgers (that one was on the radio). Putting aside the fact that studies show multi-vitaimins don't work, and might actually be bad for you, can we stop pretending these are things that are only liked by men? I hate golf, my wife loves steak more than I do, and TV just a little less, and, the Chicago song notwithstanding, I'm pretty sure everyone likes to know what time it is.

There's a TV show suggestion I've been meaning to make. "Better Off Ted," on ABC. Despite the stupid name, it's a pretty funny show. Jay Harrington charismatically plays Ted, a good guy who is head of R&D at the cartoonishly evil company Veridian Dynamics. (Click the link. It's indicitive of the humor in the show.) His boss, played wonderfully by Portia de Rossi, is a strong businesswoman with no empathy or ability to interact with other people on a personal level. There are plenty of quirky characters, like the research scientists who seem to venerate Ted. The products created also lead to plenty of humor (A hair replacement product ends up making a desk grow hair). The company's poor treatment of the employees is also often played for laughs, although we're not talking Dilbert here. We're talking freezing people in cryogenic chambers.

The humor is similar to "Scrubs" without the fantasy sequences. There are only a few episodes left this summer, but it's worth checking out.

Of course, if you like vampires, "True Blood" is a superior product to "Twilight," and also on HBO, "Hung" looks pretty promising so far. And of course, "The State" is out on DVD in case you forgot to go buy it.

Finally, I watched the movie "Waiting ..." tonight. It was fine, but it gets extra points for having a character point at Dane Cook and call him the worst person ever.

Your Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood leader.

Oh, Shit, There's A Bear! Could You Hand Me That Shotgun, Buddy?

Yet another reason not to go to Ohio. It's crawling with bears. Or, at least, cardboard bear cutouts.



The Affiliate brought home a treat for dinner. Steak and crab legs on the grill make for a good meal. Now, as far as I can find, cats don't eat crab in the wild. You can't tell The Hillock that, though.


To be fair, cats don't eat Skittles in the wild either.

Who do you pray to when your saint is missing? Maybe they can call up a saint from Triple A until Anthony shows up.

Any movie about killing zombies is fine by me. If it has humor, that's even better. "Zombieland" looks to have plenty of both.

Your Put Down the Dead For Good leader.

Because I Have A Little Crush On Alison Haislip

As someone who doesn't love the "Twilight" series, this is pretty funny.



(She's the blond in the BC sweatshirt.)

I've Been Taken For Lost And Gone And Unknown

A quick salute to the crew that took back a ship captured by pirates. Let them all know that Americans are not targets. Now let's get the captain back.

Entertainment Weekly recently listed their top 20 heroes and villains from film. James Bond topped the heroes list, and while he'd certainly top my Top 20 Ids list, I'm OK with him as top hero. It was the villain list that bothered me.

The Wicked Witch of the West was number 1. Really? Let's make a list. Pro - Flying monkies. Con - Defeated by the most abundant substance on Earth. I mean, sure, she's evil and all, but The Terminator can take a direct hit from a rocket launcher. The Witch can't even take a shower.

Darth Vader came in number 2. I'm with that. He chokes people with his mind. Yeah, Episode 3 made him look like a bit of a pansy, but there will never be a Broadway musical about how Vader was simply misunderstood and was really the good guy.

Of course, my pick for #1 villain in film is The Devil. The Exorcist. The Omen. Rosemary's Baby. The Devil Wears Prada. OK, that last one's not right, but Old Scratch is a far superior bad guy than most. To paraphrase Homer Simpson, Satan is my favorite fictional character.

Your Top 5 Track leader.

Like, A Long Time Ago

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

The best part is F=MA. Because it does.

He Was Not A Number! He Was A Free Man!

Patrick McGoohan 1928-2009

I first saw McGoohan as King Edward I in "Braveheart." Then "The Simpsons" did the most bizarre episode I had ever seen, which turned out to be a play on "The Prisoner," which became one of the more bizarre TV shows I had ever seen.

Your Be Seeing You leader.

Smile!

This quite unlike me, but I saw this sweet video and thought I'd share it. It's 16 minutes long, but if you're having a bad day it will cheer you up. (Yes, that's that guy from Bones)

Validation

(via Kevin Pereira)

Your You Are Awesome leader.

I'm In Love With That Song (Vikings 1-2)

Well, the stone-cold kryptonite lock of the week was right again. Listen, when I attend a home Vikings game, they just don't lose. I think I've seen them beat Carolina 3 times now. Just trust me. Go Gus!

I survived my "Birthday Extravaganza," which consisted of meeting my parents at Grand Casino Hinckley. So, anyone who thought they may have been snubbed, rest assured that no one else was invited either. Everyone bu me won money, which is no shock at all.

By the way, if anyone knows where the casinos get their cut on poker tables, drop a comment in. I'm just curious.

I also caught the Cohen Brothers' (One of us! One of us!) new picture, "Burn After Reading." It is, shall we say, exactly what a Cohen Brothers movie should be. Strange people in way over their heads. Goofy characters with no idea what's actually going on. Frances McDormand and George Clooney. Pretty much what you'd expect if you know their work, and funny as hell. J.K. Simmons may have the best role in the movie, as a C.I.A. higher-up who is not a complete moron. He looks on much as we do, wondering exactly what the fuck is going on, as well as if he is, in fact, the only sane person on the planet. A solid 4 out of 5.

I'd also like to welcome Ms. Katherine to the blogoverse. She's maybe best known as the "Don't Come Back Girl," and since she put her first post up on my birthday, I'm obliged to mention her here. Her first video mentions she doesn't like Dane Cook, but does like marijuana. I thought maybe marijuana had something to do with why so many people like Dane Cook, but apparently that is not the case. Anyway, good luck, Katherine.

(As a side note, searching for "Katherine" at The Cucking Stool was a bad idea. Nothing but Kersten as far as I could scroll ...)

Here's to a 9-7 season, and the Vikings in the playoffs.

Your Overly Optimistic leader.

What's My Name?

Prof. Myers has an interesting post over at Pharyngula, with a great discussion in the comments.

I'll just say that I've been DiscordianStooge since 1997, when I read "Illuminatus!" and got an e-mail address. I posted under my real name for a while in college, but now people online wouldn't know my real name if I told them; they know me as DiscordianStooge (with or without a space, although without is proper), or sometimes DiscoStoo. (I've been called stool by swiftee, but sometimes I'm not sure if he means me or is responding to The Cucking Stool) That last aside is another example. I didn't know Spotty's real name until months after I met him in person.

I have created an online persona in DS. One that is quite similar to my real-life self, except funnier and better looking. Now I have professional concerns, but DiscordianStooge would exist whether or not that were the case.

Another intersting discussion running over here, but only if you know about the text-based computer games of the 80's and/or "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." The comments became an ethical discussion about releasing private e-mails, but I was mostly impressed that so many computer programming folk from 20 years ago were available to comment. Once a compter nerd, etc., I guess. I vaguely remember playing "Zork," as a kid. Well, watching others play it, which, if you've seen a text-based game, says a lot about my personality. The white house in a clearing. Grues. The Flathead Mountains. Ahh, good times. I tried to play the HHGG game a couple of years back, and I earned about 5 points. I was never very good at text-based games, I must say.

I watched the movie "Hot Fuzz" tonight. Top-notch, I must say. Simon Pegg is great, and I'm looking forward to seeing "Run, Fatboy, Run." Also, "Doctor Who" started its new season this weekend, much to my pleasant surprise. Between "MI-5," "Torchwood," "Robin Hood" starting next week and "Doctor Who," my TV viewing is nearly all BBC, all the time.

Your Extraneous "U" leader.

Anywhere's A Better Place To Be

Oh, RepubliCain Party, can't you keep your voters in line? I mean, calling an election before the votes are counted is normal, but now you're doing it to your own people? It's almost like you want McCain to be your nominee now, and not wait to see what the people want. I can't wait to see what they pull in the general election. Swiftee likes to call the Dems the "party of scrubs" because they're all corrupt. I wonder if he has moved to the Constitution Party, now that the RepubliCain Party has shown that it is as dishonest as any other group. (Again)

On the other hand, the RepubliCain Party members have money, and they know how to drink.

Republicans coming to their national convention in September can buy a "pony shot" of 55-year-old single-malt scotch, fresh from a famed 184-year-old distillery in the Scottish Highlands.

For $525 a glass.

Yum. That's only 3 days of work for me. Less, if I can get time away during the overtime extravaganza that will be the RNC. If you can afford it, please, please, please don't put ice in your drink.

I saw "Cloverfield" this weekend. It was pretty good. However, the concession stands should be selling Dramamine before each show. When it comes to shaky cameras, Blair Witch ain't got shit on Cloverfield. So I was having trouble enjoying the monster action, trying not to throw up, when near the end they throw in some strobe lights. I'm pretty sure it was intentional. The monster was cool, though, and despite the nausea I did enjoy the movie, so I can recommend it. Maybe on a smaller screen at home for the weak of stomach.

Back to work today after 6 days off. I hope the city is still there. i haven't really checked.

Your Nauseated leader.

The Boys In The NYPD Choir Were Singin' "Galway Bay" (Vikings 8-7)

Ouch. A question for the league: Can a coach throw the red flag to ask if there were other penalties on a play? Offsides seems pretty cut and dried. Some pass interference penalties are pretty obvious too. Just curious.

While listening to the game, there were ads from American service-persons sending their families holiday greetings. I think Bill O'Reilly needs to look into our liberal military, because most of them said "Happy Holidays," not "Merry Christmas" as they would have said if they were true Americans. (This was snark. I love our service-members.)

The Vikings loss wasn't all bad, at least for me. You know how many boobs I saw after the game? Five! (Party bus + booze + red light + cop = Girls flashing)

I actually got out for a movie this week. I saw "Juno" at the Uptown Theater. (Note: I breaking a KAR rule here, because the movie was written by Diablo Cody.)

It was good. Some have called Cody the next Tarentino when it comes to writing movies. I'd say "Juno's" dialog would have fit in in a better episode of "Gilmore Girls." (That's a compliment, by the way.) The performances were very good, and the movie is funny as hell. It's a good story (Pregnant teenage girl decides to give the zygote up for adoption, then deals with the pregnancy and the couple who are going to adopt from her), and Ellen Page brings humor and feeling to teenage Juno.

I haven't seen anything that might be considered Oscar worthy this year, so I have nothing to compare, but I wouldn't be surprised if this wins an Original Screenplay award. I would like to see what Amy Sherman-Palladino can do with a feature length film before naming Diablo Cody the second-coming when it comes to writers. I give "Juno" 3 1/2 out of 5 stars. Go see it.

"Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem" comes out on X-mas. It may be a happy holiday after all. Except I'll be working.

Your Christmas Eve In The Drunk Tank leader.

Lukey's Boat is Painted Green

("Lukey's Boat" - Trad.)

The Cutty Sark burned down. The irony is, the guy who started the fire was drunk on Jameson. Actually, they haven't found the cause of the fire yet, but they might want to look into this.

There's a new American "Idol." Since I've heard a total of 1 song from an Idol participant, and none from a winner, in the last year, this shouldn't be as big of a deal as is being made of it. However, I did hear the winning song that the new winner has to sing. It sounded like something written by Phil Collins on tranquilizers after reading "The Secret." In other word, it's perfect for the mediocrity that is "Idol."

The summer movie season has oficially begun. Spiderman can kiss my ass.

This information can be used for good or evil. Please use only for good. I'm not surprised to learn that the most venomous land animal lives in Austrailia. The continent was used to house "dangerous" human criminals for many year. It's fitting that it also houses the most dangerous creatuers in the world.

What a shock.

You scored as Scientific Atheist, These guys rule. I'm not one of them myself, although I play one online. They know the rules of debate, the Laws of Thermodynamics, and can explain evolution in fifty words or less. More concerned with how things ARE than how they should be, these are the people who will bring us into the future. Scientific Atheist 92% Apathetic Atheist 83% Militant Atheist 42% Agnostic 42% Spiritual Atheist 33% Angry Atheist 33% Theist 0% What kind of atheist are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Your It's Also a Type of Scotch leader.