And More Than That ...

A quick update to an earlier story I posted on. I hope the posters at Jim Hoft's site read this story about Egyptian muslims protecting Egyptian christians on Egyptian X-mas.

That's the coolest thing I've read in a while. It's a start, anyways.

Your Sometimes Hopeful leader.

Happy New Year, 2011

I've found it's much harder to type with a baby on your lap than a cat. Coupled with a just plain awful Vikings season, I haven't been blogging much. I'm sure that won't change, even when I'm staying home with The Spinoff.

On the other hand, the Internet is so full of mockable idiocy.

Like Jim Hoft, who says President Obama made up dead muslims in an attack on a christian church in Egypt. Of course, what Obama actually said was there were muslims who were "victims" of the attack. Which, since 8 muslims were injured, is true, unless Hoft thinks you have to be killed by a bomb to be a victim of it.

It takes 50 comments on Hoft's site before someone mentions that muslims may possibly have been injured, mostly because everyone is busy calling Obama a muslim, a terrorist sympathiser and a "towelhead" (which makes no sense because even if he were a secret muslim, everyone knows Obama was born in Kenya, and they aren't necessarily known for towel wearing). Of course pointing out the injured muslims makes no difference to the folks in the comment section, because to them all muslims are terrorists and it's good if they get hurt.

As we all know, Yahweh is awesome because if you believe in him, you don't have to be bothered with pesky stuff like facts and science, as this Facebook believer so aptly demonstrates.She says, "Fact- if the earth was 10 ft closer to the sun we would all burn up and if it was 10 ft further we would freeze to death... God is amazing!" (Note: Nothing in that quote is a fact) Someone responds, rather politely explaining how the Earth's orbit actually varies by quite a lot more than 10 feet on a regular basis. So the original poster thanks the guy for correcting her mistake, right? Not quite. Instead, she comes back with, "Okay thats cool and alll but dont ever comment on my status telling me that i am wrong everrrr again. I didnt ask you did i? Answer: NO" How dare someone try and correct her mistake! If she says god did something, then none of your liberal "scientific knowledge" and "facts" are needed, mister. Go back to your ivory tower!

I keep hearing right-wingers talk of anti-Christian bigotry that is rampant in America. If correcting statements that are just plain wrong is anti-Christian bigotry, then I can see where they're coming from.

And with that, I have a baby to feed. Good Night, reader.

Your Facts-Schmacts leader.

Do You Know How Lucky You Are?

Ladies and gentlemen ... Brett Favre ... We got him! (Again)

It's been a while since there's been zombie news, but this investigative story should have us all sighing in relief.

Unfortunately, that list doesn't take into account people in their 20's apparently being completely worthless. This seems inevitable. Adulthood has been moving later as our lifespans get longer. You couldn't wait for 25 to be an adult when your average lifespan was 28. I'm not saying this is a good thing, of course. This is partly parents allowing their kids to stay with them longer than maybe they should. Not to mention that there are a lot of people and not many jobs. I think it's high time we start moving folks to the moon.

Speaking of the moon, I'm curious if any muslims out there can tell me how one would determine when Ramadan starts if one was living on the moon, since determining the start relies on seeing the moon.

Apparently having a nationwide radio show is bad for free speech. Laura Schlessinger is upset people called her a racist for saying racist things, so she's quitting. She wants her "1st Amendment" rights back. Come January, Dr. Laura will be free to say whatever she wants. Hopefully, no media carries what she says. We wouldn't want her rights violated.

Your Say It Loud leader.

Annual ZJD Post

The Day has come again. Tomorrow is Zombie Jesus Day. It is becomming a tradition, but I'll just link to what you need to know to be ready.

Be afraid.

(Italy Pics coming soon, I hope.)

You Don't Have To Pray To A Little Tin God

God can't protect you from swine flu. This one's new. Apparently if you're sick, the RC Church doesn't want you coming around. Probably because you're a sinner and will infect the righteous. If you really believed, you wouldn't get sick, right?

At least Obama was able to start the flu to get his HHS Secretary confirmed. Why hasn't Michele Bachmann picked this up yet?

Because she's busy making a link (but not really) between the Obama swine flu and the Jimmy Carter Gerald Ford swine flu. (Oops.) And a link between pedophiles and gays. And changing the general make-up of Earth's atmosphere.

Michele Bachmann is a standard-bearer for the conservative movement. Still.

Here's someone making the north metro proud. (UPDATE: Link fixed) This is a favorite label of mine "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. Fridley isn't in Bachmann's district, by the way.

IBM has apparently never heard of Skynet. A robot loaded with all human knowledge would be inherently dangerous. Add some lasers and a chain saw and we're all doomed.

Your "This Post For External Use Only" leader.

The Time Has Come Today

OK. No X-Box, and time off work, and possible delirium from fever = Posting!

Clearly, this was never in question, but it's always nice to have things confirmed in an obviously scientifically correct online poll.

Your morality is 0% in line with that of the bible.

Damn you heathen! Your book learnin' has done warped your mind. You shall not be invited next time I sacrifice a goat.

Do You Have Biblical Morals?
Take More Quizzes

(via PZ)

It was once that students would gather together to protest injustice with aplomb and zeal. They were willing to give up everything for what they thought was right. Yeah, things have changed.
(Thanks to Marty for the link)

"We need to collectively decide how to proceed." I'm pretty sure the administration already "collectively decided" to end your bullshit.
"Excuse me, you can't come in here." Well, that worked.
"You are on camera. You may not detain us." What does that even mean? You'll be detained if you need to be, camera or no.
"As long as they don't have devices of force." Lucky kid. This guy would have pissed himself if there was a gun in the room.

This isn't revolution. This is kids with too much time on their hands and no understanding of the real world. These punks aren't willing to give up anything. Their number one demand was amnesty for their little protest. People used to be willing to go to jail for their beliefs. Not any more, apparently.

I actually like the tough guys calling people "snakes" and "rats." I wish one of them have tried to show the security guard what people do to "fucking snakes." The camera man would probably have started crying because there was "non-peaceful activity." Also the little anarcho-wannabe tough guy would have gotten his dreadlocks torn out. Seriously, they are lucky NYPD wasn't called in.

I know some leftist revolutionary types. They aren't scared of "devices of force." They wouldn't try to politely discuss issues. I can have respect for someone willing to fight for their cause and take the consequences. These dumb-asses at NYU are an embarrassment to their school and to revolutionaries everywhere.

To quote Bart Simpson; "We another Vietnam to thin out their ranks." And to get some real protests.

Your Show Some Backbone leader.

P.S. I saw some video of the beginning of the sit-in, and, oh, Christ, they're playing "Time Warp" from Rocky Horror Picture Show. If I ever meet an NYU student, I'm punching him or her right in the face.

Sweet Zombie Jesus

Things have been slow with convention coverage. I did get to watch a 53-6 bee-atching at a high school football game.

This is disconcerting:

(via PZ)

I'm just trying to piss off Bill Donohue. It's not a hobby or anything, but whatever I can do to help.

Your Bored and Tired leader.

Takin' What They're Givin'

The Catholic Church needs your money. They need to replace several bejeweled crosses and rings that were stolen.

Wait. This just in - The priceless relics were found - In a cardboard box in the closet. Well, the church still needs your money to get a new safe and more bejeweled crosses, just like the ones Jesus had.

In more important news, Wal-Mart might have to pay its workers *gasp* overtime. Well-known right-wing radio nut-job Jason Lewis decried the ruling. He mentioned a rape case in St. Paul, and complained that instead of stopping rape, the authorities are going after Wal-Mart for making workers skip breaks. Boo-hoo, he says. Well, Lewis fills in for someone who makes $50 million a year, so I can see that skipping a break for that kind of money might make sense.

Well, for one, the people who look into corporate lawsuits aren't going to be stopping rape. Also, Wal-Mart was mostly hit for making people work off the clock.

Also, she was asked to work before or after she was clocked in. When asked by one of the attorneys why, when she was asked to work off the clock, she did it, Simonson said: "When your boss tells you to do something, you do it."

Jason, you've often praised America for being one of the first countries to abolish slavery. What exactly do you call being forced to work without pay? I know that it's tough to work 3 hours a day. Imagine if when you filled in for Rush, Clear Channel also asked you to do your own show and didn't pay you extra. You wouldn't stand for it. Forcing people to work without pay under threat of losing your job is slavery, and apparently you're not as against slavery as you portray yourself to be.

Lewis hates unions, but this is what happened before unions came along, and it's starting again as union membership wanes. Who could possibly have seen this coming?

Your Good Day's Work For A Good Day's Pay leader.

Nothing Lasts Forever, Even Cold November Rain

As I write this, there is ice falling from the sky. Which I believe is a sign of the Apocalypse. But before I repent, I will double check.

Nope, no ice. It's atheism for another night, at least.

I got the stinky meat smell out of my car. It took a lot of Febreze, some Oust and a liberal amount of vinegar. Of course, my jumper cables have gained sentience, but I'm hoping that will pass in a few days.

Wait a minute, talking jumper cables ... nope, no mention in the bible. Still OK.

Our Katie (c. Spotty) is enraged about religion in schools. Shocked? Don't be. It's only because it's an Islamic school.

Of course, I agree with her. The school is obviously supporting religion, and specifically Islam. Since it's a public school, it's wrong. But of course, we dangerous atheist lefties support the Muslim hordes and only hate Christians, so we'll ignore this. Oh, wait.

Well, OK. But where's the ACLU, which goes after every little bit of Christianity? Why isn't the ACLU upset about this religion in public schools? Um, never mind.

I'll spend some more time looking for hypocrisy that proves that Christians are the only group discriminated against in this country. Being on the KAR blogroll brings responsibility, after all.

Anyway, until Katie decides that religion in public schools is wrong, not just the religions she doesn't like, I'll continue to ridicule her. Because she is really worthless. Honestly, Star Tribune, hire Cap'n Fishsticks as a columnist, or maybe Mitch Berg. Someone who can come up with an original idea, not just copy from other right-wingers. Someone who can get off of politics for 5 seconds and write about the community without making it into an anti-left screed. (Not swifteeeeeeee, obviously.)

Here's a Google-bomb for Katherine Kersten. Or maybe swiftee. I haven't decided. Hell, let's do both! (Not safe for work)

Your Lincoln Workout leader.

It's Hard To See, Sittin' In The Nosebleeds

So, a kid in Wisconsin is suing his school because he got an F on an art piece.

A Tomah High School student has filed a federal lawsuit alleging his art teacher censored his drawing because it featured a cross and a biblical reference.

The lawsuit alleges other students were allowed to draw “demonic” images and asks a judge to declare a class policy prohibiting religion in art unconstitutional.

“We hear so much today about tolerance,” said David Cortman, an attorney with the Alliance Defense Fund, a Christian legal advocacy group representing the student. “But where is the tolerance for religious beliefs? The whole purpose of art is to reflect your own personal experience.

That's true. Art is personal. Why, then, did he get an F?

His teacher, Julie Millin, asked him to remove the reference to the Bible, saying students were making remarks about it.

He refused, and she gave him a zero on the project.

Millin showed the student a policy for the class that prohibited any violence, blood, sexual connotations or religious beliefs in artwork. The lawsuit claims Millin told the boy he had signed away his constitutional rights when he signed the policy at the beginning of the semester.

So the kid broke a classroom rule, was told by a teacher to change his project, refused, and failed. Sounds about right.

The rule is bullshit. It's an art class. Kids should be allowed to explore their feelings, religion included. I'm not a big art fan, but I know that art often offends. Not that "John 3:16" is offensive in any way. No more offensive than "The 12 Labors of Heracles," anyway. However, it has been well established that, as the quote says, students have no Constitional rights. The kid didn't follow the rule, and deserves the F.

I hope he gets the policy overturned. This isn't just an anti-religious policy, it is anti-free speech. My guess, however, is that he only wants the religious ban overturned, not the sexual imagery or violence bans. Which is too bad.

The story has some other interesting statements.

The lawsuit also alleges school officials allow other religious items and artwork to be displayed on campus.

A Buddha and Hindu figurines are on display in a social studies classroom, the lawsuit claims, adding the teacher passionately teaches Hindu principles to students.

In addition, a replica of Michaelangelo’s “The Creation of Man” is displayed at the school’s entrance, a picture of a six-limbed Hindu goddess is in the school’s hallway and a drawing of a robed sorcerer hangs on a hallway bulletin board.

So the administrator's statement that a piece of art with a bible quote infringes on other students' rights rings false.

But does anyone else have the same question as I do? A robed sorcerer is a religious item? They also mention a Medusa drawing in the list. I guess that fits. If one fairy tale can be a religion, why not all of them?

Your Confusing To Many leader.

I Wonder What Would Happen To This World

Sorry about the posting gap. I was preparing for a very dangerous day. You might know it as "Easter." Those in the know call it Zombie Jesus Day. It's like the 4th of July for zombies, when they rise from the dead and people, instead of being properly horrified, think it's some sort of miracle. The zombies then use the feelings of love and wonder to get close enough to feast upon the brains of their former loved ones. It's quite devious on their part.

That link is from a new blog I've found through Brian at Primordial Blog. Despite being a KC Chiefs Fan, this PhillyChief fellow seems to be on his game. For example, from his site:



Top notch advice. And when choosing your weapon, remember to factor in rising gas prices before going with your trusty chainsaw.

It took me a little longer than normal to put down the zombies this year, mostly because of trying to fit wedding planning in between battles. Also, I took time to hit Drinking Liberally and met a young man running for Congress in the 3rd District named Ashwin Madia at the 331 Club.

I was impressed by his candor and ability to not spout slogans. Hell, he impressed Bruce with his answers. He is far more moderate that most of the DL group, whom I am sure were upset he said we can't immediately leave Iraq. He is, however, perfect for the district that is represented by Jim Ramstad. Of course, I can't vote for him, but certain future in-laws of mine can, and I know at least one of them reads this from time to time. If you're in the district, you should check him out. Don't let the (D) scare you away from a good candidate.

Finally, I question the story from these guys. They claim they were hunting gophers with fire, sparking a 160 acre grass fire. My guess is the Canadian government is trying to cover up a bigger problem.

Your Worthless Nonsense? leader.

This Is Halloween

Wow. Ok. Seriously? Even Michael Medved is against Halloween, but because he believes it is an occult holiday. His wife disagrees (and why can't he keep her in line?), but I think Medved has more of a playful rejection of the holiday than Hannity. Of course, one of Medved's arguments was that Halloween didn't pop up in America until the 50's, so it isn't a real tradition. I wonder how he feels about "In God We Trust" appearing on our money (At least since the 1950's).

Hannity, on the other hand, is just a schmuck.

Your Witches And Warlocks leader.

I Got Real Scars

A question for John McCain; Is he worried that a non-Christian might actually get elected President in his lifetime (Or mine, for that matter)? Why would this question even be asked?

Quote: "I prefer someone who I know who has a solid grounding in my faith." That's fine. I'd prefer that too, although it's not realistic in America at the moment. It also isn't in the Top 10 of things look at, so no matter.

Next quote: "The Mormon religion is a religion that I don't share, but I respect. More importantly, I've known so many people of the Mormon faith who have been so magnificent," So you prefer someone of your own faith, or a Mormon. Also, I'm sure you know people of many other faiths (and none at all) who are magnificent, so we'll count them in as OK for President.

Another: "I would vote for a Muslim if he or she was the candidate best able to lead the country and to defend our political values." Muslims: Also in.

So now we see that John McCain would prefer someone with a "solid grounding" in his own faith, but you could practice Shinto for all he cares if you do good things or defend your political values.

McCain managed to piss of non-Christians while basically saying that he doesn't really care about a candidate's religion. The worst part is he was obviously trying to say he does care about a candidate's religion, and got so caught up in political double-speak that he didn't even get that right. What he actually said is how it should be. What he was trying to say is what makes politics and religion such a fun mix.

The best quote of the whole article: "(The) Constitution established the United States of America as a Christian nation." Wow. You can argue that the Founders were all Christians. You can argue that America was founded as a Christian nation. But the lack of mention of God or Christ in the Constitution makes it impossible to use that document as an argument for those things.

If I were making a Christian nation, I'd be sure to mention Christ at some point, and I'm not nearly as smart as the Founding Fathers. Gouverneur Morris could have thrown in Christ or God right between "justice" and "domestic Tranquility." He didn't.

I once liked McCain politically. Then he cozied up to a guy who smeared him in some pretty unforgivable ways just to win an election. Now, apparently, McCain is going to try and win back the religious nuts whom he lost by calling Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson what they were back when he was still a politician one could look up to. And he's doing a poor job of it.

Way to go, Senator.

Your More Perfect Union leader.

There Was A Place, And The Name Of The Place Escapes Me

("Someday I Suppose" - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones)

Robert Jordan died a few days ago. I never read his Wheel of Time series. For one, I had heard it was very dense. Also, I assumed that it would never end, or Jordan would die before he could finish it. I get enough lack of closure from TV cancellations. For once, I was right. Jordan didn't finish his last book. Sucks for fans. Sucks for his family that he died too.

Professor fired for not believing in fairy tales. Why isn't the right attacking this firing for being anti-Catholic? Catholics don't believe the Bible is literal. Are they allowed to express that belief in Des Moines without being fired? From the story: "So it'd be no different than saying the world was not created in six days in science class." Of course there are places where saying that would get you run out of town, so we'll see if they accept that argument.

The truth about cats.

Your Someday I Suppose leader.

2 Posts in One Day

This is really unprecedented, but I had a few questions about something I read over at the Cucking Stool. Apparently, the gloriously unfunny Kathy Griffin decided that thanking God and Jesus wasn't the way to go after (*sigh*) receiving an Emmy for her (*sigh*) "reality" show, (oh come on, seriously? *sigh*) "My Life on the D-List."

“A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this. He had nothing to do with this,” Griffin said in her acceptance speech. “Suck it, Jesus. This award is my God now.”

Now the Catholic League got pissed about this, calling it "hate speech." The Emmy people caved like a cheap card table, leading Bill Donohue to applaud censorship -

“The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences reacted responsibly to our criticism of Kathy Griffin’s verbal assault on 85 percent of the U.S. population. The ball is now in Griffin’s court. The self-described ‘complete militant atheist’ needs to make a swift and unequivocal apology to Christians. If she does, she will get this issue behind her. If she does not, she will be remembered as a foul-mouthed bigot for the rest of her life.”

Here's the question; Why is this hate speech? She didn't say, "Suck it, Catholics." I mean, Jesus would have a right to be offended if he weren't dead or imaginary, depending on the reference you use, but she did not direct her statements towards Christians in general, did she? She made an insult towards an individual, not a group. How does that make her a bigot? Also, if the award is her god, isn't this censoring religious speech?

Here's another interesting quote:

“It is sure bet that if Griffin had said, ‘Suck it, Muhammad,’ there would have been a very different reaction from the crowd and from the media who covered this event. To say nothing of the Muslim reaction.”

This quote is valid. If she had said this, Muslims would be denouncing Kathy Griffin and demanding that she be censored and demanding a swift and unequivocal apology, calling her a foul-mouthed bigot if she didn't do so.

Me, I'd still think the joke was funny. Which would raise the total of Kathy Griffin jokes I've found funny to one.

This would not have been an insult to Christians if they hadn't somehow decided they are being persecuted by the vast minority of non-Christians in America. Tell me again how it's possible that your claimed 85% of the country is somehow being held down by the few of us atheists who might want to make a joke or two about the people running the country? If a person who makes a disparaging remark involving god or Jesus is a Christian, are they then a bigot? Will you revise your 85% down to exclude anyone who makes any jokes about Jesus?

Is it possible the "Christian community" has gotten a little thin-skinned? Hell, no one watches the Emmys. This would have gone unheard if not for the Catholic League. I'm pretty sure your religion can survive some jokes. As Kevin Smith said, god must have a sense of humor - he created the platypus, right?

Your Dodging Lightning leader.

He's Back, And He's Got A New Trick

We have a new family member. Her name is Claudette.



The Affiliate says she's a chinchilla, but I insist that it's a miniature giant space hamster. She's not too fond of us yet, but I think she'll grow to love us as much as The Hillock does.

Here's a video involving my hero and yours, Magical Trevor, dealing with chinchillas.



Of course, as I have mentioned before, chinchillas are actually crepuscular, not nocturnal as is said in the video.

Since I brought him up, get to know the full story of Magical Trevor at Weebls Stuff.

Another Snakes on a Plane moment.

More problems with religion.

I'm working at the Minnesota State Fair for much of the next week, so if you're down there in the evening, seek me out. I'll be the stunningly handsome guy in the light blue police uniform. Also, get yourself a Scotch Egg on a stick. I won't say you won't regret it, but man are they good.

Have a lovely weekend.

Your Parallel Dimension leader.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Something

It's summer. The birds are singing, the bees are trying to have sex with them (as is my understanding). So maybe I can be forgiven for being caught unawares by this letter, which was delivered to me in the dark of night by a cloaked rider astride a fire breathing horse. (h/t to Jeff)


Talk about a sneak attack. Will the right be prepared for us? No chance. An early strike is just the thing we need to make the putative 90% of Americans who are Xtians question their deeply held beliefs. Jesus blowing a Unicorn? Brilliant! Even the strongest faith will be shattered by that. If not, then saying Happy Holidays will certainly finish them off.

Of course, my War on Xmas decorations are still in the basement gathering cobwebs. Santa Cthulhu Itself lies dreaming in R'yleh (under my stairs). It is August, after all.

Considering that I am not on the receiving end of any of that Soros money (or cupcakes), I'm going to let the paid sock-puppets start the early work. I'm more of a guerrilla fighter in this war. Although I do go by the title "generalissimo." Look for me come November, after I've finished my Satan worshiping at Samhain.

Fine. My opening salvo. To Bill O'Reilly, I wish Happy Holidays and prospero año. (see, it's Happy Holidays, which Bill hates, and then Spanish, which Bill also hates).

Your Unpaid leader.


Way to Go, My Friend

This guy is seriously funny. And he's correct too, especially about James Blunt.



Consensus - People have sex because it feels good. Quote: "(Responses) ranged from "It's fun" which men ranked fourth and women ranked eighth to "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease" which ranked on the bottom by women. By women. Not men. What was last for men? I'm guessing "To make a woman happy." Other high ranking responses from men were "Revenge," "Just finished watching Women's Volleyball on ESPN," and "I had an extra $50 just lying around." The Number 1 reason women have sex was "I was asleep."

Another reason to be annoyed by The Church.

And finally, The Simpsons dominate the box office. Yes!

Your Revenge was My Answer leader.

She Blinded Me With Science

Pluto can't get a break. I just wish that Eris could have caused some problems for the other planets and started some sort of planetary war.

Maybe she's starting with the Space Station. They should be searching that thing for a golden apple.

On the opposite end of science, Scientoligists bought the old Science Museum. Religion is based on fiction. It's not usually based on science fiction. "Scientology is the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, others and all of life," according to the Church of Scientology Web site. Yeah. What they said. At least the Science Museum still exists. We'll need it to deal with this new religion bullshit.

Speaking of the Science Museum, let's hope this Darwin Exhibit comes here, if for no other reason than to get religious nuts all up in arms.

When this happens to me, I can only hope they're a good looking couple. They won't be.

I start Downtown on mid-shift Sunday night. Wish me luck.

Your Kallisti leader.

Not Out of the Question

(via PZ)

Your Turtles All the Way Down leader.