Opening Day: Loss Number One

I know I've seen a few people say this already, but I think that every team should be allowed to win their home opener. It was a tough loss, especially since the last time we saw real baseball, it was a similar type loss. Painful. Tough to listen to. I think I developed baseball PTSD after that base hit.

But, I promised I wouldn't write a negative post, and I won't.

I think Lester was awesome. He was cruising through those early innings, and it was only through the sixth and seventh that he was really laboring. Even laboring, he only gave up one run. Was he as sharp as he could have been? No, but he was great. THAT'S what I like to see, Johnny. Great work.

Munchkin continues to be a sparkplug and inspiration for the team. His ninth inning well-fought-for hit was terrific. Papi and Sweeney did their part, and we tied the game after I already assumed it was lost. But there's no shame in losing to Verlander even if we had lost. While Munchkin's first few at-bats were less than awe inspiring, he redeemed himself.

Alfredo Aceves will be fine at closer, I think. It was a tough situation he was brought into, and I truly believe that had it been Paps on the mound, he would have lost the game, too. Let's not give Alfredo a hard time. We need him to feel good in the closer's spot, so he's got my vote of confidence.

But Pretzels? You suck, Pretzels. Runner up-MVP or not, you took 11 pitches in four at-bats, you impatient piece of sourdough. You're my goat of the game, because I don't like you.

Everyone else? You're fine. I blame Pretzels. But, the game is in the past, and now I look forward to Beckett's regular season debut against the awkwardly named Doug Fister. Tomorrow. On TV. Look at that, I'm still excited. Game one is behind us. On to game two!

Holy Thumbs: Sox Pitchers Damaging Digits

What the hell, guys?

What in the serious hell?

Opening day is THIS WEEK. I don't give a shit how you feel about the manager. I don't care if you're grumpy over a lack of beer. The season hasn't even started yet and half of you are hurting yourselves? Are you kidding me?

Listen, Bailey going down was fine, but Beckett? F off. I do not care in the slightest if your thumb is sore. Rub some dirt on it, suck it up, and be on the mound for game two. This is ridiculous! I'm legitimately angry right now. Josh has no right injuring himself at the start of the season. NO RIGHT.

100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. We celebrate by continuing our reenactment from last September.

My heart cannot, CANNOT, deal with the stress of another April like last April. I want the rest of the team bubble wrapped, stat! Not in five minutes, right goddamn now.

Ridiculous. So stupid. Rabble rabble rabble. Grumble grumble

Daniel Bard: Finds Success As A Two-Inning Starter

Two strikeouts, one walk, and no hits in two-innings. I think he did good, and it was a nice start to spring for him, but.... I don't know. I really don't want him in the starting rotation. Historically throughout his career, he has not done well under the pressure of starting. Granted, all of his starts came in the minor leagues, but there was a reason they transformed him into a bullpen pitcher.

In Single A Greenville and A+ Lancaster, Daniel made 22 starts and collected a 3-7 record with an ERA of 7.08 in 75 innings. He was averaging a little more than three innings per game as a starter, and allowed 76 hits and 78 walks in that time period. Yes, I know these were his first games in the pro-baseball system and it's unfair to judge a man now by what he did as a brand new rookie in 2007, but that's what you have to do. The Red Sox looked at those numbers, and they switched him to a reliever. And then his numbers changed...

They moved him to the bullpen where he worked part time as a closer for 2008 between Single A Greenville and AA Portland. Overall, he played in 46 games and finished 17 of them, collecting 7 saves along the way. He pitched 77.2 innings and lowered his ERA to 1.51. Granted, he still allowed 42 hits and 30 walks, but his strikeouts went up from 47 in 2007 to 107 in 2008. In roughly the same amount of innings. Limiting his work and innings per game seemed to make a HUGE difference for him between 2007 and 2008.

By 2009, he was in AAA Pawtucket, and he played 16 innings in 11 games. Eight games finished and six saves resulted in a 1.12 ERA, 6 hits, 5 walks, and 29 strikeouts.

I'm being overly verbose here, but the lesson learned early in his career was that when he was expected to start, he was basically pitching like a  poor-to-mediocre long relief guy. If you're starting and only averaging 3 or 4 innings per game, you're a bullpen guy in disguise. I'm sure Daniel is a very nice guy and the promise of all those big starter dollars is appealing to him, but just based on his track record, I hate this idea. I hate that they're putting him in the rotation when we SO BADLY need him in the pen. Closers make pretty big bucks, too, Daniel. Look at the contract your buddy Papelbon just signed.

That being said, since I really have no other choice, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and not curse the heavens every time he makes a start. I'm supportive of Bard, because I know he's a good pitcher and I want to see him succeed. I just don't think he'll find the success he hopes he will in the rotation. We'll see. We'll all see.

Anyway, spring is about getting the team in shape, not just one pitcher. Aceves (who I've always felt was better suited for a starting role) pitched very well in his two innings. Final score was 5-4 Sox, keeping Valentine's boys undefeated in 2012. First five game win streak since July 5-9 (Actually, that was a 6 game win streak, going July 5-10), and we are only 36 days away from opening day.

Miller Gives Up Less Than Five Runs: Universe Implodes.

I guess I can be pretty mean to Andrew Miller. It's not completely intentional. I know he's just a kid. Talent. Potential. Blah. Not going through that again.

Despite my general feeling that he is of no use to us, he actually managed to pitch well against the Royals on Friday. Honestly, pitching well against the Royals shouldn't be considered a difficult task, but not everyone can live up to my impossibly high standards for pitchers. Actually, no one can. Beckett and Lester come close, but even they don't quite make it. Against one pretty bad team, Andrew Miller pitched 5.1 innings and only gave up three hits and a run. I won't go back through any of his other game data, but three hits and a run seems like a typical inning for him, not a typical game. Anyway, he won so cool.

Itty bitty baby catcher-turned-DH Ryan Lavarnway got his first hit as a major league ballplayer, but he still had a terrible night as he left eight runners on base. It's fine. He's young. If we didn't have injuries, he wouldn't even be up right now. I haven't seen enough of him yet to make any sort of brash statements about his possible abilities... and let's not fool ourselves, my statements would be brash.

Aside from Miller not sucking and the kid getting his first hit, Ernie semi-broke-out from his little funk, collecting three hits on the night and showing a teeny bit of power with two doubles. From what I hear, they almost went out of the park. Sadly, in baseball, almost doesn't count. What does count as going out of the park is Salty's 5th inning home run... because it actually went out of the park. Weird how that works.

Hmm, what else? Pretzels got hit in his back with a pitch and he's a big bruised marshmallow. Aceves continues to pitch like a rockstar when we need him to. Terry Francona still enjoys tea. I think that about covers it.

For the record, I am not writing about Saturday's game because I don't want to trigger any flashbacks. So we're skipping that and going right to Sunday. Everyone's cool with that, right? I sure hope so.

Lucky Man: Offense Shows Up For Miller

Andrew Miller, I hope you treated the entire starting lineup to a steak dinner last night. Wow. That was some bad pitching, Andrew. Truly bad. The location was way off of where Tek was setting up, and you weren't fooling anyone. The Kansas City Royals, though a fine young team, are 17 games under .500, and you couldn't make it out of the fourth inning without giving up nine hits and seven runs. And yet.... yet, you didn't lose. That is luck.

Or maybe it's not luck. Maybe it's talent. Not Miller's talent. No, everyone else's talent. Miller has the benefit of being on a very good offensive team. As a matter of fact, our boys were the top offensive team in the AL during the first half of the season. They made a game out of this shitshow, and they brought home a win for Aceves... you know, the guy who pitched 1/3rd of an inning less than Miller and managed to give up seven fewer runs? Yeah, that guy. He has been priceless to the Sox. There's no debate there.

Another guy who's been priceless basically for his entire career? Yep. The Muddy Chicken Laser Show Munchkin. Whatever you want to call him, he's irreplacable. Right now, our mighty midget is up to a 23 game hit streak and is impervious to superstition. Didn't he look like a twelve year old last night with no facial hair? I think it's precious. Regardless of what age MC Laser Show appears, he actually is a grown-up who can hit Major League pitching like nobody's business. Little guy was a home run short of the cycle last night, and his deep fly in his last at-bat looked like it had a chance. Oh well, another time.

Between the Chicken and Papi collecting eight hits, the love of my life had a solo home run in the seventh, keeping that batting average up to .235. Listen, .235 might be nothing worth writing home over, but for our elderly backup catcher, isn't that good enough? I think it is! And I'm always right... at least in my world.

Franklin Morales had another rough outing, giving up 2 runs in the ninth. I did specifically ask Franklin not to make a habit out of giving up runs. He may not have heard me, so I'll remind him: Franklin, I would appreciate if you did not make a habit out of giving up runs late in the game, ok? I know we had a comfortable lead, but 13-9 is honestly a little too close for comfort.... especially against the Royals.

I'm happy with the game. I am! I'm happy with MC Laser Show, and Papi, and Tek, and Aceves, and what the hell, let's give some credit to Albers because he's been solid. I'd like to see Andrew Miller locate better, and I think it's silly that we couldn't get a hit off of their outfielder, but it's fine. We'll be ready for him next time.

Tonight, Lackey tries to seal up at least a series tie against Bruce Chen. I have zero faith in Lackey, but you never know. He likes to pitch well when I'm not at the park, so he'll probably throw a no-hitter. And he'd do it to spite me.

Wake Wins 199: 185 With Sox

On top of recording his 2,000th strikeout, making small children laugh, and being the happy grandfatherly face of the franchise since dinosaurs roamed the Earth, Tim is now one win away from #200. He's a mere eight wins away from that record that I talk about all the time. I cannot allow myself to imagine a scenario in which he does not reach this goal. He HAS TO get there, doesn't he? If it's not a law, it should be. Somebody get going on that, ok?

This one looked like it was going to get real ugly early with Timmy getting beat up pretty well in the first. He was lucky to only have given up two runs, and he was even luckier that his team wanted to score runs. The tiniest part of me feels bad for the Mariners, but we need every win we can get. Their first inning, two run lead lasted approximately five minutes, give or take a couple. Their rookie was NO mystery to the Sox in the first, who batted around and recorded five runs while barely breaking a sweat.

Get it? Because it was so fricken hot on Friday and Saturday and Sunday wasn't as bad? Comedic gold, I know. That's what they pay me for, ladies and gentleman.

Youkilis had a home run.... Pretzels, Crawford, Reddickulous, and Muddy Chicken all had doubles. Every starter in the lineup recorded a hit except Scutaro. MC, Papi, and Scoots are the only three starters who didn't have RBIs. Let's be honest for a minute... I don't want to recount every run, and you guys already know what happened, so you don't need to re-read it.

The highlights are that Wake got the win, Aceves continues to be priceless out of the pen, and no one died of dehydration on the field. It's a win for all, right? No, it's a win for Tim. Don't try to take his credit.

Tonight, we welcome back my boy Jonny Lester to face the Royals. I've missed Jonny.... but unfortunately I won't be able to watch the game. Someone should let me know how he looks out on the mound. My guess is 'awesome' but I don't want to show my prejudices just yet....

The Muddy Chicken?: What The Heck Did I Miss?

I have neglected my blogging duties for the past week or so. I did not stop watching the games, but I decided to have my own little All-Star Break. It was well-deserved. I've never blogged so much in my life as I have so far this season. I'm out of blog-shape, and my fingers needed a while to recover. But I'm back! You can't get rid of me that easily.

Unfortunately, the one game I didn't get to watch since the ASB was last night's game. I want to know how Pedroia got the nickname The Muddy Chicken. I demand to know this information. Whoever provides me with said information will win a lifetime supply of my gratitude. It's priceless, people. Once in a lifetime opportunity!

Sixteen innings, huh? Apparently the game ended at 1:56 AM. Had I known that it was still going on, I would have listened on the radio as I drove home at 1 AM. How was I supposed to know that there would be minimal offense heading into the 16th inning? I was preoccupied. With Josh on the mound, I didn't expect much offense out of the Rays, but I sort of expected something out of our boys. Another 8 inning, 1 hit performance vs the Rays for Joshua. Where was this Josh during the Phillies series? You know what? I don't even care, as long as his knee stays normally extended. But after Josh, Bard, Albers, Morales, Aceves, AND Papelbon had to work, so we're looking at a pretty tired bullpen tonight. Them's the breaks, I guess. Seriously nice work by Aceves, though. That guy seems to step up big time when we need him. Cookies for Aceves!

But it's Pedroia... our little Munchkin.... our spark plug that zapped all of the energy from the Rays and let Sox fans to go sleep happy. Not that he needed to add "16th Inning Hero" to his list of accomplishments, because I'm not so sure that ego can fit into Fenway any more, but I'll take it anyway. I mean, what more can I say? Kudos to both teams for bringing each other to the brink of exhaustion and destruction? Next time, wrap it up in nine, please? Both teams rocked last night/this morning... it just so happened that Munchkin, as usual, rocked a little bit harder. End of story.

Wake tonight, going for win 185. I believe in Timmy.

Winning For Weiland: Wild Weekend Winds Down

I was wondering how many 'w's I could fit in my title and still have it make some kind of sense. The answer was six. Go ahead and count if you don't believe me.

This was another insane, weird game. Our rookie pitcher gets ejected in the fifth inning for hitting a batter? Umps, come on. I know you had warned the benches in an effort to avoid any more brawling, but the kid was a rookie who had already given up six runs. Do you really think he did that intentionally? I think nerves and a lack of command were more the culprits than intention, don't you? Oh, you don't? That's why you ejected the itty bitty baby pitcher from his first major league start before he could finish the fifth inning in a game where his team had literally just gotten him the lead and he would have been in line for his first big league win? I see. Alright then.

The second inning was a little... eh, we'll go with shaky. It wasn't all Weiland (whose name gives me an overwhelming urge to call him Scott, much like the front man of the Stone Temple Pilots, but I digress); the fielding was pretty shaky. I'm not blaming anyone in particular for the six runs in the second inning, but I don't think Kyle was as bad as the box score shows. There were some nerves, there were some badly played balls, and there was some pretty crummy luck. I hope he can bounce back from this because I did see some promise for him.

And, oh, offense. I'm surprised Showalter's boys didn't hit more of our batters after we scored that eighth run off of them. I know their kid, Gonzalez, threw behind Papi, but David kept his cool and Mike Gonzalez got ejected. That was a stupid play. Your team is losing in a close game, and you're going to get ejected because what? You want to keep trying to make that point that no one else on the Orioles has been able to make? Like David said, "Situations happen. I guess people make their own decisions, so whatever." Whatever is right, Papi.

Oh yeah, offense. That's what I started writing about. Down 6-2 heading to the bottom of the second, Scutaro and Munchkin both hit solo shots, and Youkilis hit a 2-run shot to tie it up. Guthrie, now pitching for the O's, walked Papi to force in the winning run in the 4th. Pretzels added an RBI single in the seventh, and that would do it for the scoring.

Other props to Alfredo Aceves, who earned the win after Weiland came out of the game. He tossed three innings of no-hit ball, then Bard and Paps closed it out. And that was that. In four games, we outscored the O's 32-13? I think that sounds right. Way to show us who's boss, Orioles.

June 10th: Cookies (No Spine Punches!)

Tommy Hottovy - 24 cookies
Papi - 20 cookies - plus 12 for making Yankees cry
Munchkin - 22 cookies, 1 spine punch - plus six for not needing surgery
Varitek - 18 cookies - plus 6 for surviving the knuckleball on Wednesday
Beckett - 12 cookies - For being amazing.
Drew - 12 cookies
Crawford - 10 cookies
Wakefield - 7 cookies - earned 6 for winning
Aceves - 6 cookies - plus six for earning a save on Wednesday
Ellsbury - 4 cookies - plus 1 for a lead-off home run
Lester - 2 cookies - for winning a hard-fought game on Tuesday
Jenks - 1 cookie
Ernie - -6 cookies - plus six for tripling on Tuesday
Lackey - -23 cookies
Cameron - 1 Timlin spine punch.
Youk - 1 Timlin spine punch
Tito - 1 Timlin spine punch
Paps - 1 Timlin spine punch

Terrific Timmys: Wakefield and Thomas Secure Wins

44 year old Tim Wakefield and 37 year old Tim Thomas made sports fans in Boston very happy last night. For Thomas, he recorded yet another shutout for the Bruins in their quest to bring home a Stanley Cup for the first time since 1972 and helped turn the Finals into a best-of-three affair. And I can't say I was morally against his hit on Burrows either. I'm just hoping that Thomas and the boys can keep up this pace and finish the Canucks off back at the Garden in game six.

As for Tim Wakefield, he reduced his magic number from 12 to 11, pitching five and one third innings of pretty good baseball against the former number one team in the AL East. Tim's first three innings were brilliant, and then the ever-baffling knuckleball seemed to take a nasty turn on him. Timmy allowed five runs on five hits with three walks and three strikeouts. More importantly, Tim and the team got the win. For Wake, this is win number 182 in a Red Sox uniform. Ten to tie, eleven to take the top. It's seeming more and more likely that he can do it, and if he can't do it this season, Theo better bring him back next year.

For a few moments after realizing Varitek was catching for Wake, I was filled with pure and paralyzing terror, but I have to say... he did a damn fine job of it. Though we all know Tek is scared to death of catching that knuckleball, he knew we needed him and he did what he had to do. The battery duo last night has shown time and time again that either of them will do anything the team needs done, and that's why I love both of them so much.

The offense jumped on a largely ineffective Burnett early, putting three up on the board in the first inning for the second night in a row, two runs coming off another Ortiz home run. I'm sure Girardi didn't appreciate it at all, but thankfully, we don't play to keep Girardi happy. Tito, on the other hand, probably loved it. In the second, Scoots and Drew teamed up to add another run. In the fourth, Varitek beat out a double-play ball to bring in a run, then CRW doubled to bring in another, and THEN Munchkin singled to bring in the 7th run. Still, for all the runs we put on him, Burnett lasted longer than Garcia.

The Yanks tried to make it interesting in the later innings, but Alfredo Aceves earned a save by throwing three and two-thirds innings and only allowing a single run. Just to make it comfortable again, the Sox added three more in the ninth on home runs for Crawford and Drew. Aceves slammed the door in the bottom of the ninth, and we take the top spot in the East. Easy, right?

Sure was. Let's home the never-ending rematch of Beckett vs Sabathia plays out the way these last two games have.

Thank Heaven For JD Drew: Yeah, Bet You Never Thought I'd Write That

How does one even start to summarize this game without swearing? My friends described it as Groundhog's Day, where the same thing kept happening over and over. Runners reach base, the runners get stranded, we rip out our hair. Beckett wasn't at his best, and his ERA is over 2 for the first time in a long time. Albers only served to load the bases in the 7th. Tommy Hottovy, our new litttle call up, got an insanely key double play.

Papelbon was terrible. Munchkin made a crappy error, but contrary to popular belief, that whole mess wasn't his fault. You can't assume the double play, and Paps shouldn't have been so awful. I don't care that he was a closer coming in to a non-save situation. He still had a job to do, and he didn't do it.

I can't remember the last time I saw Tek get kicked out the game. I don't know what he said, but Randazzo was quick to run him. Randazzo was also quick to mouth off to Papelbon. While I don't approve of Papelbon charging down to home plate and getting in the ump's face, I understand his frustration, and I'm disgusted with Randazzo's behavior. When will it be time for MLB to put these asshole umpires in check. When it gets the point that you know the umpires' names, there's a problem. The game is NOT about you, Tony. Pull your head out of your ass.

Jenks pitched 1.2 innings (coming in after Paps got tossed) and did a great job. Maybe that DL time really did help him. Alfredo Aceves was absolutely clutch, coming out of the bullpen and pitching four innings and giving us chance after chance. The eleventh inning was a little scary. Aceves allowed a run and we got down to our last out... and oh my goodness, Salty hit a double! And then CRW doubled him in! Insane. So on the game went.

Finally, in another groundhog day moment, we are quickly down to our last out, and Crawford doubled, then Drew drives him in with a very clutch single. Water, and everyone gets to breathe. It was intense and frightening, and I'm just glad they walked away with a win. I don't know what's going to happen with Paps... did he bump Randazzo? I hope he didn't, because we don't need suspensions. All that matters is the win, and we got it.