Trecherous: Okajima Signs With Yankees

Man, I thought I was upset about this whole Josh Reddick thing, and then I find out that Okajima signed a minor league deal with the Yankees? Why don't you just twist that knife a little bit more, Oki?

I didn't fault him for being upset after being taken off the 40-man roster. It's hard to fault a guy for actually wanting to play and wanting to be a useful member of the team. I agreed with that decision at the time because Oki was struggling and he wasn't helping anyone, but I've always liked the guy.

He was the throw-in. He was the guy they brought in to be BFF's with Dice-K, who wasn't expected to be spectacular but would still get outs. Well, he was spectacular, and when he would come out of the bullpen, you knew that the game was in good hands. A good portion of the time, his speed didn't crack the 90's, but he kept the hitters confused. Not many would argue that he ended up being a valuable part of the team longer than Dice-K did... though Dice is still technically part of the team and may once again prove valuable (not holding my breath).

Okajima once signed a baseball for my mom in spring training, and that was all she could talk about for the rest of vacation. That baseball is proudly displayed in her living room (next to two signed Jason Varitek baseballs), and it makes both her and I happy whenever we see it. Also, the Okajima song is the finest piece of music ever written. Perhaps I'm being a tad hyperbolic, but I love that entrance theme. I can't hear it and not sing along. I just can't.

But now Oki is a Yankee... at least a minor one... and I just have to thank him for all he's done and boo the hell out of him if he ever pitches against us. Sigh.

Water Water Everywhere: My Saturday Getting Rained On

I hate rain. I hate rain and water and storms and puddles. I hate that this season, my 'game bag' also known as my purse that I take to Sox games has officially become my 'rainy game bag,' and includes a poncho, an umbrella, a towel for drying my seat, and plastic bags to put all my wet garb in. I hate that more than half of the games I've gone to this season have included rain delays.

So of course, I had tickets for Sunday's game. Good seats, too! Eleven rows from the visitor's dugout... and I got them at a discount. $90 seats that cost me $65 because they came from my best friend's cousin who knew a month in advance that she could not use them. That's why we got hit by a hurricane.

Driving to the train station, seeing the water literally just pouring off of buildings, finding out that one of the stations that I need to pass through was closed due to flooding... yeah, there was nothing about Saturday that made me think we were getting those games in. There was a huge part of me that just prayed they'd cancel because I'm tired of sitting in the rain, but my dedication would not allow me to not go.

The Red Sox allowed game two ticket holders to come into Fenway for the last two innings of game one. We got to go in early and sing along to Sweet Caroline and dance to Dirty Water (there was PLENTY of it, by the way) and still got to see game two. As a disclaimer, we didn't stay all the way through game two. Once it hit rain delay, I was convinced there was no way they were getting the rest of the game in. I was wrong... but I still justify my decision. If I never have to wear my poncho again, it'll be too soon.

I hate you, rain. I hate you, Hurricane/Tropical Storm Irene. I hope everyone out there is safe, and for my friends who lost power this weekend, hope you get it back in time for the Yankees series that starts tonight.... or better yet, skip tonight and wait for Beckett tomorrow.

Wake Up: Off To Face The Yanks

The first picture I ever took of Tim Wakefield, June 28, 2005


I was mulling about the internet as I tend to do on hot afternoons and I came upon a delightful ProJo piece by Tim Britton about Timmy's history versus the Yankees. I enjoyed it tremendously, but I felt like he left out a lot of nerdy details that people like me so desperately need. So I'm going to fix it, and with the assistance of the ever lovely and constantly wonderful baseball-reference.com, I'm going to provide you with information you never knew you wanted to know!

First, an overview. Tim's all-time regular season stats against the Yankees is here: In 56 games (34 starts) 11-17 record, 4.90 ERA, two complete games, one save, 246 IP, 221 hits, 147 runs, 134 earned runs, 42 home runs, 122 walks, 1 intentional walk, 160 strikeouts, 13 HBP's.

Tim's first game against the Yankees was September 8th, 1995 (I was ten years old). He pitched six innings, giving up 2 hits, seven walks, and five runs (two home runs). He didn't face them again until July 15th, 1996 in a game in which he pitched five innings, giving up 13 hits, one walk, and six runs. Despite the ugly numbers, it was his first win against New York. Later that season, on September 20th, he beat them again, going 8 innings, giving up five hits, five walks, and 2 runs (1 earned).

At this point, you're terrified that I'm going to recount each of his 56 appearances. Don't worry, I won't. Some of the more interesting tidbits of Tim's career vs. the Yankees:

-From May 22 to May 28th, 1998, Tim made three consecutive appearances against the Yankees (two starts sandwiched around a relief appearance).
-His only save against NY came on August 1, 1999, coming in the 8th inning and pitching two innings of relief for Brett Saberhagen.
-May 23-26, 2002, Tim again pitched three consecutive appearances against New York (would have been four without a Blue Jays game wedged in there). The Sox won two out of those three games.
-On Sept 6th, 2003, Tim pitched seven shutout innings to earn his tenth win of the season.
-Tim's two complete games both came in 2005, and were both losses (July 17th, 5-3 loss and Sept 11th, 1-0 loss)
-The only Yankee Tim has ever intentionally walked was on May 24th, 2002. He walked Robin Ventura in the 8th inning of an eventual Red Sox win.
-The first Yankee to be hit by a Wakefield pitch was current Yankees manager Joe Girardi on May 31, 1997 during the 3rd inning.
-Other Yankee batters that have been hit are Tim Raines (May 24, 1998), Bernie Williams (Sept 9, 1998), Chuck Knoblauch (Sept 7, 2001), Nick Johnson (August 31, 2003), Gary Sheffield and Miguel Cairo (June 30, 2004), Miguel Cairo (Sept 25, 2004), Alex Rodriguez (May 27, 2005), Josh Phelps (June 1, 2007), Jose Molina (July 26, 2008), and Juan Miranda and Brett Gardner (Sept 28, 2008)

So, if I were the Yankees, I wouldn't want to face Tim in September, when he is most likely to hit a batter.
I love trivia. Sure, it may not get me anywhere in life, but who cares? Go Tim!

Wolverine: Saving Our Butts Again

Oh, what would the X-Men do without Wolverine? Or should I call them the Sox-Men? I don't know. I'm trying to be cute here and it's not working. Admittedly, I passed out at around 10:30. I tried to stay up! I really did! I only got to see Josh get beat up (again) by the stupid Yankees. They're also whiney. Apparently, Joe Girardi decided that his team had a better chance of winning if Beckett stayed on the mound, so he's pissed that Beckett was pulled with two outs in the fourth. Yes, I am aware that they filed this complaint immediately after he was pulled (with the score 5-0 Yanks in the 5th), but come on. Beckett was injured, and the injury actually WAS more severe than a bruised ego, though I don't want to comment on him much more severe.

Again, Beckett sucked. I don't care if it was his spasm-y back or his inability to beat the Yankees that held him back, but dude has just not been good this year. I don't think it'll be like this for the remainder of his contract, but something's got to give with him. He has to figure out what he's doing wrong and fix it. We can't wait around forever for him. At this rate, we're actually getting better innings out of Wakefield than Beckett, and that tells you pretty much all you need to know.

Also on my shit list for the day... Scugo. I know the field was wet. I know playing conditions weren't optimal, but two fielding errors in one game is not acceptable. I feel pretty confident about the fact that Beckett would have gotten out of the 2nd inning with no runs allowed had Scugo not botched that ball that would have absolutely been a DP. Not cool. He damn well better dazzle me tonight if the game is actually played.

JD "Glassman" Drew is hurt. I'm not going to harp on him too much because he's been doing well. Doesn't take away from the fact that he's made of glass. It's not an insult, it's the truth. Hopefully the hamstring injury isn't going to linger because really, we need bats. Lots and lots of bats!

Anyway, on to the offense! There was literally nothing to get excited about from the Sox offense for the first five innings. Finally... FINALLY!... in the 6th, Youk took advatage of a bad Sabathia pitch and put it over the wall in left. Sabathia was hittable all night. His location wasn't on. He was all over the place, but our guys just couldn't take advantage. Maybe they were really deceptive pitches. Whatever it was, Youk's HR finally got us on the board after what was probably about 80 or 90 pitches. Luckily, the boys saved all the fun for Flyswatter and Mariano, scoring six times in two innings off of this particular combination of relievers. I don't care how bad we looked up until this point in the season, scoring runs against Mariano shows me that things are closer to getting back on track, and I am cool with that. In the eighth, we saw this sequence: error, single, double, single, ground out, single (Ortiz out at second), ground out. When it was all said and done, 4 runs got tacked on to Joba. Then in the 9th, heroics. Ronald singled, Scugo reached on an error (how appropriate), Munchkin grounded out, but then Wolverine came up against Mo and smacked a 2-run double to left over Randy Winn's head. Ugly wins are still wins, and I'll take them however they come.

Paps closed the 9th, but not before giving back a run and giving everyone a heart attack. Seriously, can we all stop considering Pap a top-tier closer now? He hasn't been this year, and he really wasn't stellar last year. Maybe I'm just being as bitchy and whiney as Joe Girardi, but Paps doesn't mean instant win to me any more, but he still acts like he's the best thing to happen to the bullpen since Keith Foulke. Him closing out the 9th of yesterday's game does not make up for the shit he put us through on Monday's game. Not even close.

Slightly off-topic... it really really pains me to read about how unhappy Mike Lowell is. I think he has every right to be unhappy. The Sox front office has gone seemingly out of their way to let him know that he's not wanted. From being forced to take him as a throw-in to the Beckett deal to trying endlessly to get rid of him.... I just don't know what Theo has against Mike. Sure, he doesn't have the offensive numbers of Beltre right now, but I don't like Beltre! Mikey is frustrated, and it makes me sad...

"I think sometimes you feel like the team might be better off if you're not on it," Lowell said. "I just eat up a roster spot. I really do. I don't know. If anything, it's a good feeling that I've had so many teammates come up to me and they say they sympathize with my situation. I think I've truly agonized over it. But it's not good or bad, it's just reality. ... I don't know what else to do."

Maybe he stays with us and gets a role on this team... more likely, he moves on. Whatever is going to happen needs to happen quick, because Mike's sadness is my sadness, and I don't want either of us to be sad. Mike doesn't deserve this treatment. He's done nothing but contribute to this team, and now we're treating him like an albatross instead of a contributing baseball player. Sad.

Fun fact: Me and Theo Epstein had something in common for one moment in time. We were both at the Pearl Jam concert on Monday, getting Sox updates on our cell phones. And for people who think that Theo (as much as I dislike him) doesn't deserve to take a night off.... seriously, shut the hell up. Theo may not be my favorite GM, but he's not the worst, and who doesn't enjoy Pearl Jam? Though, I still don't like him, and I think he should stop trying to hurt Mikey's ego. But what do I know?

Dahmer against Baker tonight at a very soggy Fenway.... if they can get the game in. We'll see.

Johnny Demon: It's Official. I will never cheer for this man

I thought about scoring tickets for the first game that the Tigers are in Fenway for 2010. Seeing as how former Red Sox hero Johnny Damon would be returning, I thought, hey... I booed the hell out of him when he was with the Yankees. He never got the Red Sox Nation love that he rightfully deserved. I thought it would be a nice gesture to go and make my own personal peace with the guy. After all, he's the ONLY one of the 25 that I really ever claimed to hate.

Well, after reading this piece, I can safely say, he will be showered with my taunts and boo's for the rest of his career. From the article:

When Damon headed south on I-95 in 2006 to join the Yankees, he packed up his
World Series ring and kept it off his finger. Now a member of the Tigers, he
said he's been flashing his Red Sox ring."I started wearing it this
past offseason after I knew I wasn't coming back to New York," Damon told the
New York Post. "I was in New York for four years and I couldn't wear it then."

That's more than enough for me. But, of course. He's more than willing to wear the Yankee ring along side with the Red Sox ring while playing in Detroit. Apparently, there's no shame in winning one with the Sox as long as you've won one for the Yankees, too. Screw you, Johnny Damon. I hope someone slashes your tires.... everywhere you go. Forever.

MLB.Com: Fancy Copyrights Don't Chase Away the Stupid

I was electronically meandering around mlb.com today.... I went to check out the standings, just to refresh my memory of what our magic number is. Well, according to the math gurus over at mlb.com, the Red Sox were actually eliminated from the division. We're 1.5 back with 7 left to play, but MLB thinks that it's MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for us to win the division. Ok, sure. Maybe the 'elimination guy' just got a little "E" happy and kept right on typing. I know the joy I feel when I think, gee, those Yankees aren't gonna make the playoffs. They're 8 games back with six left to play. It's not gonna happen. *

Of course, while I was over there, I ran into the giant vomit-fest that is the Yankee Stadium last breath love fest. This is not the Yankee stadium of Gehrig and Ruth. You goddamn Yankee frauds and all the hacks that are clamoring to kiss your asses sicken me. This article, more than anything else, really annoyed me.

Yes, Babe Ruth may have hit the first home run in Yankee stadium (you know, the original one).
Jose Molina did not hit the last home run at Yankee Stadium. Duke Sims (strangely, also a catcher) did, on Sunday, Sept. 30, 1973. Because that was the last game at Yankee Stadium. It was in 1973! Not 2008! That... thing that everyone is crying over has only been around for thirty two years. It opened in 1976. So if you want to get specific, Bryan Hoch, (which I know you don't, because you're a sad little Yankee hack, writing whatever they tell you to write), you should really write an article about how Dan Ford (of the Minnesota Twins) hit the very first home run in Yankee Stadium II, and Jose Molina hit the last one.

Stop making Andy Pettite out to be some kind of a saint. Yeah, he was around for the championship run, but he LEFT NEW YORK! On his own free will! And then when the Yankees were desperately throwing around money, in need of pitching, he came back.

And then there's this... "Johnny Damon also connected on a three-run homer for the Yankees, who backed starter Andy Pettitte through five-plus innings as the left-hander -- a stalwart of the club's recent championship dynasty -- went into the books as the final winning pitcher." Recent championship dynasty? Recent? My niece and nephew weren't even alive yet when the Yankees last won a championship. In all fairness, it hasn't been decades upon decades, but to call it recent is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh! Oh! And then to basically make himself look stupid, he tosses in this, "Pettitte, the second-winningest pitcher at the remodeled Stadium to Ron Guidry (99), threw 85 pitches over his five-plus innings of work, allowing three runs (two earned) while walking one and striking out three." So the stadium only counts as being the "remodeled" stadium when trying to make Pettitte look good? Pathetic.

This is the last I will talk about Yankee Stadium. I'm so thoroughly annoyed that this crap has been shoved down my throat all season. I'm glad it's over. I'm glad the love fest can stop. I know it won't, but it can. And it should. Yeah, some great players have been through Yankee Stadium in it's 32 year existence. Let's not pretend that ALL the Yankee greats played there, because that just makes Yankee fans and Yankee writers, and ESPN, and mlb.com look incredibly stupid.

*Edit: They've now fixed the standings on mlb.com to reflect that the Sox have not yet been eliminated... even if they want them to be

Gabe Kapler: Starring on my calendar this month

Work with me, here. Yesterday was an off-day and I've got very little to talk about.

Pawtucket beat the Yankees last night. The kids, as you know, are in the playoffs. While it is completely conceivable with all the talent we possess in our minor league systems that the kids secured victory from the New York Yankees, they actually beat the itty bity baby Yankees (you know, Melky Cabrera, Shelley Duncan, Ian Kennedy....). Our side of the fence featured a few familiar faces, such as Joe Thurston, Chris Carter, Jon Van Every, and Devern Hansack. Good job, kids! Keep on winning!

The real Yankees were actually playing the really annoying (Devil) Rays. This series played out exactly how I wanted it to, down to the tiniest of details last night. The Yankees, headed by one of their saviors - Darrel Rasner, allowed 6 runs within the first two innings. The exorcised Ray, having lost two prior games and two games on their division lead, put a serious hurt on those pinstriped players. However, the Yanks valiantly fought back and.... lost by two. Precious. Just precious. The Sox gain a game and a half, and the Yankees are reminded that they're still losers. I love it.

Beckett will be back on a strict pitch count tonight. I believe I heard 70 pitches or so, but that may have just been speculation. Mikey will be back, and Frankie will be back. Still no word on Nancy, but I'm SURE he'll be back someday.

The lack of a real game irks me. I need a Sox game. They're like drugs. You know what else is a drug? Caffeine. And I haven't had any yet. I need some of that, too....

New York Yankees: Ten Things I Hate About You

This one, strangely enough, is actually going to be hard for me, but here we go...

10) The 'Stache. No, really, it's hideous. And it makes me a little bit queasy, just seeing it sit there, being unproductive and disruptive like Julio Lugo's fielding. Between the shiny shared thong and the 'stache, Giambi might be auditioning to join Julian in the adult film industry. And nothing about that sentence is ok. Nothing at all.

9)Joe Girardi. Actually, he doesn't belong on this list at all, I just needed an excuse to mention him. He's friggin hilarious! Really! Listen to his press conferences, and you'll see what I mean. Bickering with the media, getting obviously upset over repetitive questions, and not actually saying anything important. I love it. Joe Girardi makes me laugh, and he should make you laugh too. If you don't laugh at his misery, you have no soul. But I do hate that I don't get to see nearly enough of his press conferences. You should hate that, too.

8) Bobby Abreu plays the wrong character. Bobby doesn't seem to care that he's pretty much born for the role of an ewok. He's been demanding to play Chewbacca at all of Johnny Damon's Star Wars themed birthday parties. Says Damon, "Bobby doesn't like um uh get it um, man. He like uh should um be the uh little um ewok. He's like, um, not big enough to um uh be Chewbacca. He's um ruining uh the whole um damn uh party!" Johnny then burst into tears. Abreu's response was to growl and walk away, causing Kyle Farnsworth to cry with Johnny. That kind of selfishness is just deplorable. Hasn't Bobby ever heard of the concept of 'team?' You can't just do what you want to do if it hurts your team. (Actually, now that I finished writing this, I find it kind of funny that Star Wars was the first thing that popped into my head when thinking about the Yankees. Thanks a lot, Lucchino!)

7)Mike Mussina does not have antlers. You can't be called a Moose and be antler-less. That's just ridiculous and upsetting.

6) Hal Steinbrenner. He's really dropping the ball here on the family insanity. Seriously, Hal, when is the last time you said or did anything controversial or amusing? Your brother has that market cornered. Since your father really stays out of the picture, there isn't much competition for the title of Family Quackjob. Don't let Hank run away with it. I know you have hidden bits of wisdom to blurt out. Instead of saying that Joba Chamberlain is Josh Beckett, try something like "Joba Chamberlain is the next Doug Mirabelli." Sure, everyone will look at you and ask why you think he's going to turn into a handsome Italian catcher, but keep them guessing my friend. Keep them guessing. So far, you get an F for fail.

5) Susan Waldman. Don't know if I spelled her name right. Don't care. All I have to say is... HA!

4) They don't listen to Kevin Millar. Ok, I'm not going to complain about the fact that in '04, they disobeyed my Ducky when he said "Don't let us win tonight." Thing is, they're stubborn, so Millar could have said ANYTHING and they would have disobeyed him, just to prove that they don't have to listen to anybody. "Don't wear pink tutus on the field tonight," Millar could have suggested... "Don't roll around in poison ivy tonight".... "Don't make me a pizza tonight"... "Don't leave your sleeping bag at Jeter's tonight"... "Don't feed Mariano Rivera that extra chili dog tonight"... "Don't sleep with that washed up 80's singer tonight" (So I guess he got around to saying that last one after all). If they had just listened to Millar, they wouldn't be such a laughingstock right about now. Millar has this uncanny ability to be right*, so by ignoring him, the Yankees are trying to prove they don't need his wisdom. They do. And don't you ever forget that, Yankees. Stubborn, arrogant baseball team... Oh, and thanks Ducky!

*Disclaimer... that might not actually be true.

3) 26 Championships/rings. This is, by far, the most overused phrase in the history of Yankeedom. It's especially annoying when followed with "compared to your 2 championships" because that's just ignorant. Listen, Yankee fans, if you want to be proud of Yankee HISTORY (pay close attention to that word, now) that's fine. You should be proud. But let's not forget now that most of those championships were won before people like me were born. And if you're going to count your ancient championships, keep in mind that the Red Sox have a couple of those, too. Pretending that they don't just to prove the point that you used to be relevant is foolish. We have more than two, idiots!

2)The average Yankee fan. Arrogant, annoying, and entitled. I don't know many Yankee fans who aren't brainwashed by the '26 rings' mantra. And they have the nerve to complain about Red Sox fans? You know, complain about the fake fans all you want. The ones who act like they know everything, but can't name the starting lineup. (Which, by the way, New York has tons of). But pay attention to what your team is doing. Just because the Yankees have a great history (see, it's that word again) doesn't mean they're entitled to be good now. And you know what? They're really not. Ask the Rays how relevant history is right about now. Exactly.

1) They stole Johnny Damon's soul. And I think he's too stupid to know it's missing!

Bartolo Colon: Easing the Loss of Dice-K

First of all, do not panic. Dice-K is not lost. He is merely misplaced. It happens to all good pitchers every once in a while. Don't worry, someone surely gave him a map back to Fenway by now. I'm excited for his return because it will give me an excuse to use this picture: Hey look at that! I found an excuse!

It makes me happy that this signing worked out for Theo, because I have one less reason not to like Theo, and I really don't enjoy not liking Theo. Sad truth is, I don't like him. Regardless...

Bartolo pitched well. The best part of the game, of course, were the beautiful home runs by the Captain and Mr. Awesome. Neither had been doing terribly, but they also hadn't been doing much, so this was nice to see. Especially since the Captain was under the weather, I feel all the more amazed that he was able to will that ball not only over the wall, but onto someone's windshield in a kind gesture to give someone a surprise souvenir. Unfortunately for now, I can't find a picture of that, so you'll have to do without. The Captain... he's a giver. He's not too bad to look at either. (That would be an understatement)

I did not see the last two innings of the game for undisclosed reasons (that I assure you had nothing to do with coffee). I did hear that the Admiral was not, to be kind, sharp. But do not kid yourselves. His hunting arrows are quite sharp, and he knows how to use them. And he's not afraid to. So, be kind to the Admiral, or you might have to pull a hunting arrow out of your skull. My guess is that it would be something you would not enjoy. Just a guess though.

What else happened last night... hmmm... OH! I know. One of the .500 teams in our division lost. Actually, ALL of the .500 teams in our division lost. So did those pesky (Devil) Rays, which is nice. It's always good to get a little bit of a lead before we head out on the road. Lord knows we'll need it. One more at home, then it's time for some interleague!

You can at least pretend to be excited.