Showing posts with label Carl Crawford. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carl Crawford. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sox Outfielders: Obviously Endangered

I don't know what's going on beyond the diamond, but the job of "Red Sox outfielder" has quickly become one of the most hazardous jobs in the market.

The latest addition to the quickly-growing list of injured outfielders is Cody Ross.... which really, truly sucks. I like Cody Ross, and he's been coming up with key hits for the team. Now he's out about eight weeks with a broken foot, and we are beyond replacements-for-replacement level players. We're at replacements-for-the-replacements-of-replacement level players. It's getting scary.

I know I've asked before, but can we please keep this team in bubble wrap when not in use? Seriously now! We've got three outfielders on the 60-day DL. Pretzels, Crawford, and  Ryan Kalish may be back this season, but we'll see what happens. Neither Ellsbury or Crawford have even begun baseball activities as far as I know.

McDonald, Repko (remember him?) and Ross are only on the 15 day DL, but again, it remains to be seen what will happen.

Red Sox... bubble wrap and duct tape. That's all you need. Get on it.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Carl Crawford: Still Broken

I thought this was going to be Crawford's year. I really, truly hoped for it. He's a likeable guy, a good player, and just about any other nice thing you could think to say about him. I hated him when he played against us because he always made us look bad.

Well, he's still making us look bad.

I know it's only April. But Crawford started the season with a wrist injury that he's been rehabbing. And now it's his elbow... a sprained ulnar collateral ligament. He's been shut down from baseball activities again. This time, he's expected to miss upwards of three months. And what are the odds that in July, he'll be ready to play? He won't. A couple of rehab starts, maybe a couple of setbacks, and you're looking at maybe a September return. Or maybe this is just a lost season for Carl.

The Sox knew about his wrist before they signed him. Specifically, Theo Epstein, the asshole who ruined the team and then fled like a coward to Chicago, knew about the injury and still threw bags and bags of hundred dollar bills at him. The money Crawford is making from the contract he's currently signed to will be enough to ensure financial security for his great, great grandkids. And while the Sox are paying his absurd contract, our outfield consists of Ryan Sweeney, Marlon Byrd, and whoever else is not injured. It's bad.

I feel for Carl. He did not ask for these injuries, and if someone had presented me a contract as large as the one Theo gave him, I would have signed it, too. He didn't ask to struggle last season, and I won't believe anyone who said he wasn't trying. While I feel for him, I think it's time for me to admit to myself that this isn't his season either.

Hopefully we'll see him back at Fenway at some point. He's still got some redeeming to do....

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Offense: Downturning

This is my effort to not be overwhelmingly reactionary... but I have to wonder. The Sox have played 12 games, and have won four of them. The ones they won were pretty awesome wins, but the ones they lost were flat out painful. So which is the fluke, the wins or the losses?

We all know this team is incredibly talented, but as we've learned from watching the Yankees in the distance for a while now, combining the most talented players doesn't always make a team. Yet it seems like these guys get along... it LOOKS like they work well as a group, but something's missing. The pitching and the offense, so far, are more often on different pages than they are on the same one. Hell, sometimes I think the pitching is in a completely different book. I'll say more about the pitching staff later.


I'm not going to get bent out of shape about the last two games. As much as it sucks to lose, the Rangers are a good team... but when we've got good teams on the ropes as often as we had the Rangers, we need to be able to deliver. And it's not happening. Truly, Bobby V. looks as stunned as the rest of us feel every time he walks to that mound. Last night, the heart of our order, Munchkin, Ernie, and Ross, went hitless. The bottom of our order, McDonald and Repko and everyone who came in to replace them, also went hitless. So if the middle of your order isn't hitting, and the  bottom of your order isn't hitting, the guys who are hitting are going to be stranded. But what options are there? Pretzels and Crawford are hurt. We're literally looking at a replacement level outfield. What do you do when you have to replace the replacements because they're struggling? You have to go further down the depth chart. It's generally not the most successful practice, and is definitely not a long-term solution. Luckily (hopefully?), it doesn't have to be. Crawford should be back before we know it... but we aren't even sure what we can get from him.

As for the pitching staff... our bullpen is horrible. You can't sugar coat it. The front office messed up with this bullpen. Who do you depend on? Just when it seems like someone is going to step up, they give up a handful of runs. Hell, Melancon was demoted because he was so flat out terrible. How do we remedy this? My guess is that they're not going to replace the whole bullpen, but at least in the recent past, we've always had that one guy who we can count on. Who can we count on right now?

I'm not panicking and I'm not quitting on my team, but it's frustrating watching these games. On the plus side, Beckett looked good and Asshat got his first home run.... so there's that.

I'll try to lower my expectations for Friday.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Varitek Triples: Doesn't Fall Apart

I was in the car listening to the game on the radio. It was the top of the fifth in a scoreless game. Jon Lester had just, minutes before in the bottom of the fourth, given up his first hit of the game, so my dream of another KC no-hitter was dashed. I was feeling a little grumpy at the thought that it was the fifth inning and we still didn't have a single run against Kansas City. And then it happened.

Joe Castiglione started shouting. The ball was over right fielder Jeff Francoer's head. It was rolling to the wall! It got stuck under the wall and Tek was on his way to third as Jed Lowrie had already had time to get home and take a nap. Jason Varitek had collected himself an RBI triple.

Do you know how rare it is for Jason to hit a triple? Very. I know triples are rare in general, but in Tek's fifteen seasons in the bigs (yes, I count his one game in 97 as a year in the bigs), he's had 14 triples. He hasn't hit one since 2007, though he did have three that year. I know, I couldn't believe it either. From 2000 to 2005, he collected exactly one triple per season. In comparison, in the same span of years, David Ortiz has 16 triples. In six seasons, Munchkin has seven triples. In five seasons, Pretzels has 21. Slow guys don't hit as many triples as fast guys. THAT is a true story, so I am always more impressed with a Tek triple than a Pretzels triple.

Aside from that very cool play, we had the usually wonderful pitching of Jonny Lester to love and admire. He wasn't as sharp as he could have been, laboring through six innings and actually allowing more walks than strikeouts. That doesn't happen often. It's happened two other times this season (April 1st against Texas and August 10th against Minnesota), and both other times it has happened, Jon's lost the game. This time, however, he won. Thirteen wins on the season for our boy Jonny. Six runs of support on the board. That's what I like to see.

Ronald and Crawfish broke out the home run power, each collecting a solo shot for the night. In the 8th, Ernie, Lowrider, and the new kid combined to put three on the board. Yup, the new kid collected his first RBI (please keep in mind, Saturday DID NOT happen. Thank you.) I'm proud of him. I love to see the kids do well.

So the offense woke up a bit this weekend. Lester, Miller, and Beckett were able to collect wins to give us a series victory and... well, we won't talk about Saturday's game still. Somehow, through all of this, we've stayed tied with the Yankees. I wish that I could still say the same today. Next post, I discuss why the offense went back to sleep in Texas and theorize what thoughts are running through Erik Bedard's head when he's on the mound. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Perpetually Behind: Playing Catch-Up in A Single Post

Nope, this isn't entirely ideal. I had been doing really well posting in the month of August, and then.... life. I sort of feel like a scam artist when I write about games that I didn't actually watch. Yeah, I get score updates and I read game wrapups the next day, but not actually SEEING the games makes it hard to write about them. The one thing I don't want to be is a scam artist.

So this is the part where I blame my boyfriend. You can blame him for every post I haven't written, and believe me, he's cool with it. See, he doesn't like sports, and he doesn't own a TV.... and I've been spending lots of time with him, so unless we're at a sports bar, I can't actually watch games. I get score updates from MLB and text messages from friends telling me what's going on, but it's not the same. So there's my excuse that no one asked for.

Anyway, in the week that I haven't found it necessary to post, let me give you a little rundown of what happened....

-We won last week's series with the Twins, dropping the last game 5-2, when Lester got roughed up and the batters decided to be useless.
-After winning the first game in Seattle and giving Lackey another gotdamned W for his undeserved collection, Beckett and Wakey imploded in their games, and we dropped a series to the Mariners.
-Let me repeat that, we dropped a series to the Mariners. I think I'm going to be sick.
-Wake once again was denied his 200th win in that loss, even though he pitched a complete game and wasn't the worst we've ever seen him. He'll get another shot, and quite frankly, I'm sick to death of waiting for the guys to support him. Enough shenanigans! You guys are making me mad.
-Ernie has not hit a home run yet in the month of August. He hit two in July (July 7th and July 30th). He has two RBIs this month. Make of that what you will.
-Carl Crawford is hitting .342 in his last ten games, so please, everyone... shut up about how signing him was a mistake. He's fine.
-We are, unfortunately, once again tied for first in the division. The Yankees took advantage of our failure in Seattle and used it to catch up to us. I hate the Yankees.
-This afternoon, Jon Lester tries to rebound from his rough start vs. the Twins when he takes on Sharky Shields and the Rays at Fenway. If we sweep the double header today and the Yankees lose their game, we could go right back to a 1.5 game lead in the division. Here's hoping.

So we're all caught up and everything is back to normal. I'm going to do my best this week to keep up, but... you know... don't hold me to that.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Another ND For Josh: But Beating Up On Mo Makes It Ok

He was in control. He had his soul-shattering curveball. He had his electric fastball. He only allowed a single, paltry run in six innings, and yet again, Joshua walks away with nothing to show for it. Again, for the ninth time this season, Josh pitched his ass off and gets to watch someone else rack up a victory. This time, that other person was Daniel Bard.

Not to say that Daniel didn't deserve it. I fully appreciate the work Daniel did, but I'd love to see Josh get some stat-padding wins. But it's fine; I'm not going to dwell. Matt Albers and Franklin Morales both struggled in this one, and the Yankees picked up a lead almost the moment that Beckett came out of the game. Wheeler, Papelbon, and Bard, though... those three held the fort and I have zero complaints. Not allowing the Yankees to pad their lead gave the batters an opportunity to perform some magic.

In the 9th, Scutaro, Pretzels, and Munchkin worked together to steal away the game tying run from Mariano Rivera (the only Yankee I have even the tiniest shred of respect for) in the form of a sac fly. This was the only point in the game where the top of the order came through for us in this one. They're just lucky they saved their best for last when we needed it most.

Joe Girardi, who obviously confused last night for game seven of the ALCS, brought starter Phil Hughes into the game to replace Rivera in the 10th. Granted, Rivera blew the save, but he hadn't thrown a bunch of pitches, and in a tied game, don't you want your best pitcher on the mound? Obviously Joe does not. With one out, David Ortiz doubled and was instantly yanked from second in favor of Ronald. I will never complain about getting a little bit of speed in scoring position in the tenth inning. An intentional walk to Crawfish later, Reddick steps up to bat. One pitch later, he was cruising to first, McDonald was being called safe, and the Sox picked up their tenth win of the season against the Yankees.

We're staying positive in this one. I'm not going to complain about the lack of production from the top of the order or Tek's tough day at the plate. I'm remaining impressed by Beckett's badassery, thrilled with a Reddickulous walk-off, and overjoyed to hand the Yankees another series loss. All positives all the time.

Tonight, in about ten minutes, Tim Wakefield steps to the mound for his third attempt at win number 200. If I see any squandering on the part of our offense, I might fly to Minnesota in a Dustin Pedroia costume and take care of Minnesota myself. Timmy deserves this win. It's time to get it for him. Let's go, boys.

All Tied Up: Offense Eliminates Yankee Division Lead

That's better. Sure, we may have been out of first place for a few hours, but the universe righted itself in a timely manner. I'll take a tie for first over a one game deficit any time, thank you. As much as it pains me to do this, I have to give Pretzels the majority of the credit for this win. Our snacky little centerfielder essentially destroyed Fatass all on his own, going 2-for-4 with six RBIs. Saturday marks the fourth time Fatass has lost to the Sox this season. Have we officially gotten into his head yet, or is it going to take another start?

Do I have to give Mudpie credit here? I really don't want to. In all honesty, saying anything nice about him makes me feel a little dirty. You know no matter well he may have pitched this time around, he's not deserving of the praise. So if I have to give Pretzels credit in this one, I'm going to withhold the Mudpie credit. I can't say nice things about both of them in the same entry. The universe would swallow itself. True story.

It took Fatass two innings to remember he was pitching to the Red Sox, but sure enough, he started handing over runs in the third. It started innocently enough. A sac fly from Pretzels. An RBI 2B from Munchkin. Suddenly, the Sox had a 2-0 lead. A sloppy inning, a double play, and a single in the fourth tied the game at 2 each, but the Sox weren't done with Fatass yet. The bottom of the fourth found a double from Youkilis, a single from new Red Sox that I haven't mentioned yet (welcome to Boston, Mike Aviles!), an RBI single from Crawfish, an RBI single from Scutaro, and to top it off, a 3-run home run from Pretzels. In case you lost count, that was five runs. Suddenly, it was 7-2 Sox, and the Yankees would never come close to matching the Sox offensive output... I mean, if you don't consider four to be close to seven.

Daniel Bard gave up an uncharacteristic home run in the 8th, making it 7-4 at the time, but the Sox poured on three more runs (big surprise, Pretzels was credited with two of those three) in the bottom half of said inning.

How exactly did we lose the sure-thing game on Friday and win the no-chance game on Saturday? Baseball is funny. Next up, Josh Beckett takes on Freddy "The Rock" Garcia. If you don't think he looks like The Rock, you're wrong. Gee, I can't imagine how this one will end. I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Wake Wins 199: 185 With Sox

On top of recording his 2,000th strikeout, making small children laugh, and being the happy grandfatherly face of the franchise since dinosaurs roamed the Earth, Tim is now one win away from #200. He's a mere eight wins away from that record that I talk about all the time. I cannot allow myself to imagine a scenario in which he does not reach this goal. He HAS TO get there, doesn't he? If it's not a law, it should be. Somebody get going on that, ok?

This one looked like it was going to get real ugly early with Timmy getting beat up pretty well in the first. He was lucky to only have given up two runs, and he was even luckier that his team wanted to score runs. The tiniest part of me feels bad for the Mariners, but we need every win we can get. Their first inning, two run lead lasted approximately five minutes, give or take a couple. Their rookie was NO mystery to the Sox in the first, who batted around and recorded five runs while barely breaking a sweat.

Get it? Because it was so fricken hot on Friday and Saturday and Sunday wasn't as bad? Comedic gold, I know. That's what they pay me for, ladies and gentleman.

Youkilis had a home run.... Pretzels, Crawford, Reddickulous, and Muddy Chicken all had doubles. Every starter in the lineup recorded a hit except Scutaro. MC, Papi, and Scoots are the only three starters who didn't have RBIs. Let's be honest for a minute... I don't want to recount every run, and you guys already know what happened, so you don't need to re-read it.

The highlights are that Wake got the win, Aceves continues to be priceless out of the pen, and no one died of dehydration on the field. It's a win for all, right? No, it's a win for Tim. Don't try to take his credit.

Tonight, we welcome back my boy Jonny Lester to face the Royals. I've missed Jonny.... but unfortunately I won't be able to watch the game. Someone should let me know how he looks out on the mound. My guess is 'awesome' but I don't want to show my prejudices just yet....

Monday, June 20, 2011

Brewers Series: Cookies. Lots of Cookies.

I've got many, many pictures of Pedroia

It helps that Munchkin earned cookies this week, otherwise having him head the post would be silly, wouldn't it? Everyone who is DL'ed gets cookies this week, because cookies make people feel better. There were a few planned spine punches, but because of all the injuries, I've taken Timlin off task. Wouldn't want him straining his fist.

Varitek - 41 cookies - plus 2 for Game 1 RBI double, plus 2 for catching Chara's first pitch.
Munchkin - 38 cookies, 1 spine punch - plus 3 for key game 1 DP, plus 2 for game three home run
Papi - 33 cookies - plus 1 for being an RBI in game 2
Wakefield - 31 cookies - plus 12 for being incredible!
Tommy Hottovy - 25 cookies
Beckett - 24 cookies
Drew - 14 cookies
Crawford - 10 cookies - plus 3 for being hurt
Dahmer - 8 cookies - plus 3 for being hurt
Ernie - 7 cookies - for having 1,000 career hits
Aceves - 6 cookies
Ellsbury - 6 cookies - plus 2 for having a multi-hit game in inning 1 of game 3
Salty - 6 cookies, 2 spine punches - plus 3 for batting in runs in game 2
Lester - 5 cookies - minus 3 for a bad game
Youk - 5 cookies and 1 Timlin spine punch - plus 1 for being an RBI in game 2
Scutaro - 3 cookies
Cameron - 3 cookies 1 Timlin spine punch - plus 3 for batting in runs in game 2
Lowrider - 3 cookies for being injured
Jenks - 1 cookie
Michael Bowden - 1 cookie
Paps - 1 cookie 1 Timlin spine punch
Dan Wheeler - 1 cookie
Lackey - -14 cookies - plus 3 for not being too horrible
Tito - 1 Timlin spine punch

Almost One Year Ago: Trio of Injuries Hurts Sox

Once the news came down that Dahmer was on the DL, I was definitely having flashbacks of last year. All the problems started in June. This season, June 17, 18, and 19 found us with injuries to Jed Lowrie, Carl Crawford, and Clay Buchholz (in that order). Last year, on June 25, 26, and 27 in San Francisco, we lost Dustin Pedroia, Clay Buchholz, and Victor Martinez to injuries.

Is it just me, or are we going to have to start keeping Dahmer wrapped in bubble wrap for the month of June? Look, I'm not trying to start a panic here. I don't think this team is going to suffer as many problems as last year's team did. If they do, I'll be the goat and you can all blame me.... but I CAN'T be the only one who thought of last year after three injuries to key players in three days. I just can't.

You thought about it, too. Even if you didn't, you're thinking about it now and realizing that I'm right. You might also be getting a little nervous, much like I am. You shouldn't be. I'm nervous for sports all the time. It's a superstition thing. So let ME be nervous, and you just go ahead and relax. I'll be ok, too, especially since I know Kevin Cash has no reason to come back. You're not welcome on my team, Cash! /rant

Sunday, June 19, 2011

John Lackey: Better Buy Pedroia Dinner

Jacoby led off the first with a HR, so he leads off the blog, too.


That was... man, that was a long first inning. The rest of the game wasn't that bad, but the first inning was something like 45 minutes long. It was also scary. Carl Crawford, who hustled his butt off down to first, came up lame and instantly came out of the game. Hamstring injury. Disabled list. Damnit. The plus side was that we matched the two runs that Lackey allowed (the first on a leadoff HR for CRW). On the Brewers side, Shawn Marcum also came out with an injury after throwing 44 pitches.

In the second after a Munchkin walk and an Ernie double, Youk smacked a 2-run single to put us on top for... oh, about five minutes. Lackey gave the two runs right back in the top of the third, but he settled down after that and still managed to go 8 innings. The key play in the game was the double play Munchkin turned in the 3rd. The double play came after four straight hits and two runs that Lackey surrendered pretty quickly. Describing the DP is impossible. It was incredible. It was a play that only Pedroia could make, and he made it perfectly. After that play, I started feeling good about the game. I know I wasn't the only one. Lackey better have thanked him profusely with words, food, and alcohol.

The Sox weren't done scoring even if the Brewers were. Ernie led off the 5th with a solo home run, finally putting us in the lead for good. Unfortunately, Youkilis came out of the game with 'intestinal distress.' Word to the Red Sox: If you guys would stop spitting on yourselves and high-fiving everyone, intestinal distress wouldn't spread so quickly around the clubhouse. You're all gross. Baseball players are gross. Tangent. Anyway... The sixth was my favorite, because the 6th featured offense from Varitek and that will always beat out anything else. JD walked and Tek doubled him in. Two batters later, Munchkin singled him in. In the 7th, Ronald (who came in to replace Carl) drove in a run, and JD drove in a pair... and that was all the scoring that would happen.

The injuries are starting to pile up again. It's a tad bit frightening, and I know I'm not the only one who has mild PTSD from last season's injury-fest. Crawford was officially put on the DL, and Josh Reddick was called up to take his place. I hope Carl heals quickly, but in the meantime, I will enjoy Reddick's presence.

Tampa Series: Cookies and Spine Punches

Love this picture


Another series win for the Sox, and the first time in a long time that I assign spine punches. Sorry guys. You deserve it. But on the cookie side of things, I had several dozen to hand out, so good job! And Varitek (as expected) is in the lead!

Varitek - 37 cookies - plus 6 for another one-hitter
Munchkin - 33 cookies, 1 spine punch - plus 2 for triple in gm 2
Papi - 32 cookies
Tommy Hottovy - 25 cookies
Beckett - 24 cookies - plus twelve for ONE HITTER!
Wakefield - 19 cookies - plus 12 for pitching his butt off (even if he lost)
Drew - 14 cookies
Lester - 8 cookies
Crawford - 7 cookies - -3 for bad series overall
Aceves - 6 cookies
Dahmer - 5 cookies
Ellsbury - 4 cookies
Youk - 4 cookies and 1 Timlin spine punch - plus three for home run (also +2 spine punches for gm 1, -2 spine punches for home run)
Scutaro - 3 cookies
Salty - 3 cookies, 2 spine punches - spine punches for forgetting how to catch the knuckleball
Jenks - 1 cookie
Ernie - 1 cookies
Michael Bowden - 1 cookie
Paps - 1 cookie 1 Timlin spine punch - one cookie for a game three save
Dan Wheeler - 1 cookie
Lackey - -17 cookies
Cameron - 1 Timlin spine punch.
Tito - 1 Timlin spine punch

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Terrific Timmys: Wakefield and Thomas Secure Wins

44 year old Tim Wakefield and 37 year old Tim Thomas made sports fans in Boston very happy last night. For Thomas, he recorded yet another shutout for the Bruins in their quest to bring home a Stanley Cup for the first time since 1972 and helped turn the Finals into a best-of-three affair. And I can't say I was morally against his hit on Burrows either. I'm just hoping that Thomas and the boys can keep up this pace and finish the Canucks off back at the Garden in game six.

As for Tim Wakefield, he reduced his magic number from 12 to 11, pitching five and one third innings of pretty good baseball against the former number one team in the AL East. Tim's first three innings were brilliant, and then the ever-baffling knuckleball seemed to take a nasty turn on him. Timmy allowed five runs on five hits with three walks and three strikeouts. More importantly, Tim and the team got the win. For Wake, this is win number 182 in a Red Sox uniform. Ten to tie, eleven to take the top. It's seeming more and more likely that he can do it, and if he can't do it this season, Theo better bring him back next year.

For a few moments after realizing Varitek was catching for Wake, I was filled with pure and paralyzing terror, but I have to say... he did a damn fine job of it. Though we all know Tek is scared to death of catching that knuckleball, he knew we needed him and he did what he had to do. The battery duo last night has shown time and time again that either of them will do anything the team needs done, and that's why I love both of them so much.

The offense jumped on a largely ineffective Burnett early, putting three up on the board in the first inning for the second night in a row, two runs coming off another Ortiz home run. I'm sure Girardi didn't appreciate it at all, but thankfully, we don't play to keep Girardi happy. Tito, on the other hand, probably loved it. In the second, Scoots and Drew teamed up to add another run. In the fourth, Varitek beat out a double-play ball to bring in a run, then CRW doubled to bring in another, and THEN Munchkin singled to bring in the 7th run. Still, for all the runs we put on him, Burnett lasted longer than Garcia.

The Yanks tried to make it interesting in the later innings, but Alfredo Aceves earned a save by throwing three and two-thirds innings and only allowing a single run. Just to make it comfortable again, the Sox added three more in the ninth on home runs for Crawford and Drew. Aceves slammed the door in the bottom of the ninth, and we take the top spot in the East. Easy, right?

Sure was. Let's home the never-ending rematch of Beckett vs Sabathia plays out the way these last two games have.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Crawford: Killer of A's

Crawford crossing homeplate after his home run


Three games, and three times Crawford is right in the mix of wonderful goings-on, so he gets two titles this weekend. I think he deserves it! The second inning found Crawford picking up three more RBI's and making everyone at the park stand up and cheer. Ernie added his own two run home run two innings later. At that point, the score was 5-2, as Lackey had let one run score in both the 3rd and the 4th.

The sixth inning was kind of crazy with the base running. CRW stole second and third... well, technically, he took them on wild pitches, but it doesn't much matter to me. Munchkin singled him in and then stole second himself. There was baserunning all over the place! It was insanity. I'm telling you. You should believe me.

Dewey graced us with his presence! I'm always excited to see Dewey!

Other fun things that happened? Varitek walked to the bullpen. I have proof!
See? He's a pretty man. That is a true story, and I have many, many friends who will corroborate that story. Salty hit a triple, which was amazing. Thanks for the misplay, Coco. Salty was "thrown out" at home, but we all know he was safe. Granted, I was pretty far back in the park (Row 6 of grandstand section 2), but I have no doubts in my mind that he was safe. Then Ellsbury was "thrown out" at second, prompting the quote of the afternoon from someone who was sitting two rows behind me. "Hey ump, get off your knees, you're blowing the game!" I shamelessly admit that I giggled. And then I wrote it down. And now I'm sharing it with you! Enjoy!

That was pretty much the ballgame, folks. Three game sweeps of any team are welcome. I would have liked the Yankees to have lost at some point, but I won't be bitter. We'll get 'em this week. Updated cookie/spine punch standings coming up!

Thank Heaven For JD Drew: Yeah, Bet You Never Thought I'd Write That

How does one even start to summarize this game without swearing? My friends described it as Groundhog's Day, where the same thing kept happening over and over. Runners reach base, the runners get stranded, we rip out our hair. Beckett wasn't at his best, and his ERA is over 2 for the first time in a long time. Albers only served to load the bases in the 7th. Tommy Hottovy, our new litttle call up, got an insanely key double play.

Papelbon was terrible. Munchkin made a crappy error, but contrary to popular belief, that whole mess wasn't his fault. You can't assume the double play, and Paps shouldn't have been so awful. I don't care that he was a closer coming in to a non-save situation. He still had a job to do, and he didn't do it.

I can't remember the last time I saw Tek get kicked out the game. I don't know what he said, but Randazzo was quick to run him. Randazzo was also quick to mouth off to Papelbon. While I don't approve of Papelbon charging down to home plate and getting in the ump's face, I understand his frustration, and I'm disgusted with Randazzo's behavior. When will it be time for MLB to put these asshole umpires in check. When it gets the point that you know the umpires' names, there's a problem. The game is NOT about you, Tony. Pull your head out of your ass.

Jenks pitched 1.2 innings (coming in after Paps got tossed) and did a great job. Maybe that DL time really did help him. Alfredo Aceves was absolutely clutch, coming out of the bullpen and pitching four innings and giving us chance after chance. The eleventh inning was a little scary. Aceves allowed a run and we got down to our last out... and oh my goodness, Salty hit a double! And then CRW doubled him in! Insane. So on the game went.

Finally, in another groundhog day moment, we are quickly down to our last out, and Crawford doubled, then Drew drives him in with a very clutch single. Water, and everyone gets to breathe. It was intense and frightening, and I'm just glad they walked away with a win. I don't know what's going to happen with Paps... did he bump Randazzo? I hope he didn't, because we don't need suspensions. All that matters is the win, and we got it.

Crawford: My God, Why Does He Not Have A Nickname Yet???

I was at a concert on Friday night. I didn't see even one little second of the game, but I got my text updates. After the first inning, seeing the score at 4-2 did not give me the warm fuzzies. Since I did not SEE Dahmer, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and just pretend that his allowing eight hits and six runs was the umpires' fault. Everyone knows that they caused enough chaos this weekend anyway. More on that in another post. Probably the next one.

Whatever happened in this game, the one thing I do know is that Crawford brought it home for us. He's got the kind of name that should lend itself well to a nickname, and nothing has really fit him yet. I want to give him a nickname so badly, but I know that it has to come naturally. One day, I will blurt something out, and it will make me laugh, and I'll keep it. However, if anyone can provide a good suggestion, I'll take it. Also, I want to point out that I am happy they have updated Crawford's big board picture. Where as before, he had a sad looking portrait, and now he's all smiles. I didn't get a picture of it, but I will next time I go.

So Crawford wins the game, and I'm pretty sure he's officially won my heart. What is that now? Four walk-offs? That's one sure way to get over the nerves of pitching in a place like Fenway. Crawford's here, guys, and I think he's gonna like it here.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Cookies!: And Spine Punches!

These are the current arbitrary team cookie standings:

Varitek - 12 cookies
Munchkin - 6 cookies
Papi - 6 cookies
Crawford - -2 cookies (I gave him one, Amy took two away)
Aceves - -3 cookies, but no spine punch... this time.
Cameron - No cookies, 1 Timlin spine punch.

That's another thing that I should explain. When a player does poorly, they get no cookies. Sometimes we will take cookies away from them, and sometimes, if the play is especially poor, the player receives a "Timlin spine punch." Essentially, this means that Mike Timlin is hiding somewhere in the clubhouse, and when the player in question least expects it, he jumps out and delivers a swift punch in the spine. Sometimes Mike Timlin camouflages himself as Varitek's locker (Varitek being one of his best friends, in my imagination), and he'll jump out and scare the rookies. Sometimes, when he's camouflaged, Varitek will try to reach into his locker and accidentally punch Timlin in the chest, and then he'll shout "Damnit, Mike! I told you to stop doing this!" And Timlin will laugh and pull out his crossbow, and everyone will have a great time.



What? Don't look at me like that. I've got an overactive imagination.

So these are the Cookie/Spine Punch standings. We'll see where everyone stands at the end of the season. I bet Tek will have the most cookies. And no, this isn't bias at all...

Bad Ernie!: No Cookie For You!

About fifty minutes before game time last night, I get a call asking me if I want to go to the game. My friend had scored free tickets. How could I turn that down? Due to traffic and other such delays, by the time we got to the park, it was 5-0 Chicago. Ugh. Gonna be one of those nights.

Oh, and it was. Ten runs were all but handed to Chicago. The Yankees reclaimed first place. The southsiders slapped our mommas and kicked our dogs. AND Bobby Jenks pitched. There was just nothing redeeming about the night. Then, with a runner on and two outs in the bottom of the ninth, we had the heart of our lineup coming up. My friend and I scripted it this way: Ernie walked, Youk gets HBP, and Ortiz hits a grand slam. What really happened? Ernie took three pitches and struck out looking.

Deep breath.

He STRUCK. OUT. LOOKING.

I have three rules of hitting. I've mentioned them before, but for the sake of this post, I will repeat them. One - Do not swing at the first pitch unless you're Nomar or someone equally as likely to get a hit. Two - No swinging at 3-0 counts. Make the pitcher throw strikes. Three - DO NOT STARE AT STRIKE THREE! Backwards K's drive me crazy. If the count is 0-2, and the pitch is close... SWING, darnit! If you strike out swinging, at least it feels like you tried. Sometimes, you don't have the luxury of waiting for the perfect pitch.

So that was my rant for the night. On the plus side, Tek had a great night at the plate. This had to have been his first three-hit game of the season. A home run and two singles, I believe. Tek is now batting .235. Starters batting less than .235? Drew (.228) and Crawford (.234). I am providing no commentary on this, I am just stating facts.

My friend and I are contemplating keeping a spreadsheet of which players earn how many cookies per game, and tallying it up at the end of the season. I don't know if we'll actually stick with it, but cookie earners from last night's game are Crawford (1), Varitek (12), and Ortiz (6). Cookies are assigned arbitrarily, depending on who we feel has earned them or needed them. For example, I gave a cookie to Carl, even though he clearly didn't earn it. I thought he could use a pick-me-up. Let's see how many cookies get earned on the field tonight, as we begin the quest back to the top of the mountain.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Wakefield is Wonderful: All Hail The Knuckleball King!

Timmy from May 22nd.


I'm sure there's absolutely nothing I can say about Wakey that I have not said a million times in the past except that he only needs 12 wins to become the winningest Red Sox pitcher of all time. I've said statements close to that, such as "Wakefield only needs 14 wins to become the winningest Red Sox pitcher of all time," and "Wakefield only needs 13 wins to become the winningest Red Sox pitcher of all time," but never before have I gotten to use the number twelve. Every fibrous fiber of my immediate being yearns for Tim to get those twelve wins, and every time he has a game like he did on Friday... well, my fibers are happy.

Timmy was classic, spinning 7 innings of knuckleballing madness, allowing a measly two runs. Sure, we've seen BETTER from Wakey, but this was more than enough to satiate me. Timmy kept his pitch count low, finishing the 7th with 83 pitches. We had a four-run lead and a well-rested bullpen, so there was no need to push him further than that. He's not the youngest guy on the staff, after all. Bard pitched a beautiful 8th, and Papelbon pitched a slightly scary 9th, allowing two hits (one a solo home run) but without blowing the game. Very acceptable pitching, everyone! Gold stars all around!

The offense didn't show up nearly as forcefully as they had for the two prior games, only posting six runs... heh, only six runs. I can remember times last month that six runs was all they would score for a week. I like this team better than I liked that April team. I'm sure they like themselves better, too. Down 2-1 in the third, after Timmy had allowed his only two runs on solo home runs, our bats stepped it up in the 3rd. CRW lead off the inning with a solo home run, Munchkin walked, Ernie singled, Youk doubled in Munchkin and Ernie, and then Crawford launched his own home run. Boom! Five runs. I'll take that ANY day.

Combine all that awesome with a Yankee loss, and the Red Sox found themselves in sole possession of first in the ALE. First. It's like a gawddang miracle, I'll tell you what. These are the good days, my friends. Let us feast on all the pitchers in the league and rest our heads on another pennant come the winter! Or, you know, just continue winning games. For now.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Crawford Kicks In: Four More Hits For #13

Before I get to this game, I want to recount a quick story. I got an email last night from a stranger, apparently after they read my blog. The email said, "I appreciate your love of Mr. Alex Gonzalez, but I think you're wrong about him. He's definitely not a better shortstop than Derrick Jeter is."

Without trying to overreact, I'm pretty sure this individual needs to be destroyed. Look, if you want to have your own stupid, wrong beliefs, you do that... but at least make sure you know how to spell the names of the players you incorrectly believe to be better than Gonzo. And don't email me about it! Derek Jeter's fielding couldn't hold a CANDLE to Gonzo's, and I don't even know why baseball players would HOLD candles on the field during gameplay! The whole thing is ridiculous. Please.... for future reference, everyone... I cannot tolerate people thinking Jeter is a better fielder than Gonzo. I cannot and will not tolerate it. Stop the insanity!

Anyhow, on to the game! See? I got back on track in a timely manner. It was another day, another 14 runs yesterday afternoon in Detroit. Much like what the Sox did to the Indians, they put quite the hurt on the Tigers to the point that the skies themselves decided they needed to take pity on Detroit and end the game prematurely. Alfredo Aceves stepped up in a big way, going six innings and only allowing one run. I guess it pays to have a former starter as your long-relief/spot starter out of the pen. Gold star for Aceves!

I've got a bunch of these gold stars. I bought a value pack just last week, knowing I would need them. CRW with a home run and three RBIs? Gold star! Papi with two hits and two walks? Gold star! Drew Sutton with two doubles? Gold star! Newly called-up outfielder, Josh Reddick, with three hits? That's just Reddickulous! Gold star! (For the record, I was PRAYING that he had a good game so I could use that line). Tek notching a hit and keeping his average over the Mendoza line? Gold star for him, too!

But the player who earned TWO gold stars on the night? Carl Crawford. Carl, WHY couldn't you have hit one of those triples during Wednesday's game? It doesn't matter now, but it would have been nice for you to have a cycle. Four hits, including two triples, makes Carl the MVP of the game. I have to say, I'm enjoying this version of Crawford SO much better than that April version of Crawford. He has really turned it on, and I am enjoying the show.

So, the Sox manage 16 hits in 8 innings of a rain shortened game, posting 14 runs for the second day in a row. Let's see what they've got left in the tank for Wakey tonight! Also, go Bruins. Please. No, I'm serious, I really need you to pull together and, you know, win. Please?