Friday Fight Night: Fights, Injuries, and Smack Talk

2010, haunt me no more! Leave me to my new baseball season! I told you before, it's not going to work between us. You're hurting the people I love just to get my attention, but it's never going to happen. We're never getting back together, so it's time for you to go. I've got a new season now, and we're pretty happy. You need to leave me alone.

Dahmer... Lester... Beckett. All injured. This is nightmarical. Nightmarical is the only word that properly describes having Lackey as the only starter left in your rotation. Terrifying isn't a strong enough sentiment; it's got to be nightmarical.

Thank God we were only playing the Orioles, so even with Josh out of the game, we had nothing to worry about. That's right, Kevin Gregg, your team actually sucks. So make whatever point you were trying to make by throwing at Papi. At the end of the day, you just looked like a jackass and your team still got whupped to the tune of 10-3. Yup, in two nights, the Sox outscored you 20-7, so the tough guy act is really adorable, but why don't you try actually winning games instead? Oh, you can't? You mean you're a no-talent hack who has been on five teams in the last six seasons and sports a career ERA of 4, and the only team left willing to let you implode in their bullpen was the Orioles? Also, it's not YOUR job to tell anyone else how to play the game... it's YOUR job to throw the ball and get outs. Can't see to do that, though, can you? Nice work though, Kevin, because this is the probably the last time you will ever be relevant in your career, so enjoy the attention.

It was insanity. Gregg is lucky that Papi didn't land that big hook he threw at him. I don't remember seeing David that fired up. He's a scary guy when he's angry. And seeing Marco Scutaro jumping on Gregg, only to be flipped around like a hula hoop? Priceless. Having Reddick make the third out of the inning because he abandoned third base to join the ruckus? Craziness. When's the last time we saw that happen? And what the heck did Salty do to get ejected?! Either way, this is probably the last I'll write about the fight, because Ortiz wasn't proud of it and I don't want to harp on something he wasn't proud of. Instead, let's harp on the offense!

Eight runs in the first inning. Yessir, eight. Five guys (not the burger joint) recorded RBIs in the first. Those fine gentlemen were Youkilis, Ortiz (on a home run... I guess if I were the Orioles, I would have been a bit miffed by him also), McDonald, Pretzels, and Ernie. There was a lot of sloppy Orioles fielding in there. My shortstop, JJ Hardy, looked pretty bad... but it's ok because I still love him. The O's starter didn't even last the inning, getting pulled with two outs. Do I feel pity for him? NO! You never pity the enemy, friends, even if you do sort of love them. Pity is for the weak!

Joshua got a little sloppy in the fifth, and then our loose-jointed starter gave up three runs, hyperextended his knee, and STILL managed to finish the inning without allowing five more runs. Weird how good pitchers can do that. I hope he's as ok as he claims to be because too much time without seeing Josh makes me grumpy. And nobody likes me when I'm grumpy.

The Sox tacked on two more, one on a sixth inning Pedroia home run, and the other on an eighth inning Reddickulous triple that scored said Munchkin... right before the fireworks. Yeah, crazy game alright... but we still won. Next up, the horrible reality that is John Lackey against the saddest team in the AL East. Nightmarical, right? Definitely.

Mike Cameron: Marlin

And just like that, it's over. After being designated for assigment by the Sox just a few days ago, Mike Cameron has been traded to the Florida Marlins for cash or the dreaded PTBNL.

I really do wish him well. He always had a smile on his face, whether he was hitting or not, whether he got playing time or not. It had to hurt watching them trot JD Drew out there, knowing that he was a better fielder and had the potential to be a better hitter. He handled it with grace. I hope he gets more playing time with the Marlins than he did with us. Good luck, Mike! Keep smiling!

In other matters... Theo, I need a favor. I don't know if you could actually get this done, but I promise to stop bitching at you at LEAST until the end of the season (maybe longer!) if you could at least try. Are you listening? Good!

So Theo... rumor has it that my coveted shortstop, JJ Hardy, is on the trading block. I want him on my team. You OWE me this, because you took Gonzo away from me TWICE! TWICE, THEO! Do you know how painful it was for me to see him leave twice? Damn near broke my heart. I'm asking nicely. Please try. Make an effort. I want Hardy between second and third by August 1st. I don't think it's much to ask. Do you? No. You don't. Thanks in advance!

Manny and Johnny: Tampa Bound

I know, I'm the last to the party on this... as usual. It's not that I was the last to hear. I'm sure I wasn't.... I was just preoccupied by football. Now that I know the Jets have no shot at winning ANYTHING, I can turn my attention back to that which I love most. And let me just say, Manny and Johnny signing with Tampa Bay is incredible and I approve wholeheartedly.

I'm not going to cheer for Johnny, of course. Those days are long behind me, and I just do not feel that someone who lies to his fans as brazenly as Johnny did deserves to regain the love and affection of said fans. I tend not to spend any energy focusing on him at all. I wouldn't boo him... I couldn't boo him. He won us a championship. But I can't cheer for him. Johnny has earned every bit of my silence, and he's lucky to have it.

Manny.... I don't think I have to get into my affections for Manny. I still love the guy, and no one has been able to convince me not to. I will always cheer for Manny, and I don't care how many people behind me are booing him. After all, Manny WAS always one of my favorite players, and no one even comes close to being as entertaining as he was. Now, I get to see Manny 18 times a year, and I hope he does well every single game except those 18. I'm going to enjoy seeing that beautiful swing more often again.

However, it's not really the signing of either of these two that excites me the most. The first thing that popped into my head when I heard the news was, 'Oh my God, does this mean Trot Nixon is in the running for the third outfield position?!' Being the unapologetic sentimentalist that I am, Trot is still very VERY high on my list of favorite players. If Tampa is hell-bent on reuniting our '04 outfield, it's only logical to assume that they're interested in Trot. Please tell me they're interested in Trot!

No, I know it's not likely, but it's not completely impossible, right? RIGHT?! How on Earth could anyone ever boo that outfield? By anyone, I mean anyone who is a fan of the Red Sox. We may not like Tampa, but with those three guys in their outfield, I'd have a hard time remembering that I dislike Tampa. Even if they don't bring Trot back, maybe they could have B.J. Upton wear a Trot mask... or just a really dirty hat. That would be ok, wouldn't it? Another reasonable substitute would be to bring Kapler back. I think he was only on a year contract, and I think it's expired now. Bring Gabe back, have HIM wear a really dirty Trot hat, and I will be the happiest girl alive.

I really have nothing to complain about this offseason. It's been a great offseason in my eyes. The only player I think we should have gotten but didn't, my coveted shortstop JJ Hardy, ends up at the stadium that's practically my summer home, so I'm cool with that, too. Cliff Lee isn't a Yankee, Vernon Wells is on the Angels, and Eric Gagne does not have a job in the majors. I have NOTHING to complain about. I'm just excited for the season. Truly and completely excited.

For me, baseball is so much different than football (in more ways than just the glaringly obvious). With football, they have to win. I take no joy or comfort from a loss, because there are only sixteen games to win or lose before the playoffs. With baseball, I can find high points in a loss. When the Sox lose, sure I get upset, but there's usually a game the next day to take away the sting. When the Sox get REALLY bad, it becomes comical and I can enjoy it. When the Pats are really bad, as they were last week, I was angry. Baseball is sometimes like the never ending second chance. And of course, baseball is also warm weather, beautiful sunsets, stadium-wide sing-alongs, t-shirts and shorts, home runs, and 96 mph fastballs on the corner. Football is pain and cold. That's all it is. Sure, sometimes baseball is pain, but most of the time, it's just summer, and I could REALLY use some of that.

Bring on truck day! I've been patient, but it's not going to last too much longer.

Spring Pitching: Holy Crap, It Sucks

Again, emphasizing the fact that spring training games mean nothing... holy HELL, what is happening. Do our pitchers really have that many new pitches and problems to work out that none of them, not a single goddamn one who pitches in any game, can win? I was actually convinced that we won against Penny and the Cardinals yesterday, but lo and behold, they found a way to lose. I have no idea what happened. All I know is that I'll be able to watch some hot Mayor's Cup action tonight featuring Clay Buchholz and hopefully a delightful little win for our boys.

I mean, we're 9-11. Granted, my memory of spring trainings past isn't fantastic, but don't we usually do better that this? Do I sound delusional if I try to warp this into a good thing? I mean, if everyone is more effective this year in working on their problems, is it much of a stretch to think that we won't have as many growing pains with the new pitchers and players this year? I'm hoping that my silly little brain has come up with the correct conclusion.

Paps is pitching with migraines, Bonser feels some grabbing at his groin (I presume not the good kind), Lowrie has mono, Beckett has a tendency to develop some nasty hangovers.... I don't know, I just kind of have been laughing it off. That being said, seriously, a few wins would be nice. I would love it if our boys could go into the season knowing what a "W" looks like. If not, eh.... I guess we'll all just have to live now, won't we?

Good news, though. Forgot to put this up the other day... Ryan Westmoreland has been moved out of the ICU and is now residing in the rehab center. Again, I continue to wish Ryan the best of luck because a kid that age deserves some good luck.

And, just a quick note about the Mauer deal: Damn it. I wanted him. But it's ok, because he's where he belongs. Seriously, though, Twins, you already have the shortstop I wanted. Did you HAVE to keep the catcher? Now I need to pick out another player to covet. Who am I kidding, I'm still gonna covet their shortstop. Maybe one day he will be ours!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn: Good morning!

I've been hibernating. Feels like a whole new year already. We're close to one, but not there yet. Tickets for spring training went on sale already, and soon we'll be in virtual waiting hell. No, I'm really not looking forward to it, but I'll be there because hell, I love those stupid Red Sox.

That being said, I'd like to welcome everyone back into the revolving shortstop door of hell. I'm going to absolutely hate to do it, but it's time to update my cast of characters again and move Gonzo back into the former player category. So now we're stuck with Scutaro. Pardon me if my enthusiasm for this isn't shining through in my writing. It's only because, well, I'm just not enthusiastic about it. You know what the Twins did? They got J.J. Hardy. I wanted J.J. Hardy. I knew that the Sox wouldn't bring back Gonzo, but I hoped to high heavens that they would consider trading for Hardy. Young, relatively talented, certainly no worse than anyone else we've had in here (except Gonzo), and controllable in the arbitration market.... to my knowledge anyway. Listen, I like him. It's not just because his name is Hardy. I think he would have been good for this team. But no. We've got Scutato. Hoo-ray.

So now we wait for the craziness of the winter meetings to hopefully produce a left fielder for us. Or a center fielder if they move Jacoby to left. Hell, let's get Coco Crisp back! Is Manny available? No? Pity, I would have liked to see him in a Sox uniform again. And yes, I know I am the minority in that opinion. Honestly, I'm not going to panic whether we get Bay, or Holliday, or none of the above, because my expectations of the team coming into this year are ZERO. I expect it to be a complete re-building year as we prepare for the final bows of Papi and Mikey, and the last appearance of the shell formerly known as Jason Varitek. We'll probably see Beckett pack up his huntin' rifles (and possibly Jonathan Papelbon) and head for greener pastures. Lord knows Theo won't think about giving him a long term contract. It's crazy how fast we've gone through four seasons of the Commander and Mr. Awesome. Feels like they've been part of the team forever. I like it that way, but I guess I have to be prepared for that to end.

I had an awful dream that Theo traded my Binky to the Yankees, which I KNOW he would never do, but it was a tad traumatizing, and it made me lose even more faith in our GM. I know the phrase is "In Theo We Trust" but there are just so many of his moves that seem completely boneheaded that I have to, you know, not trust him. I'd like to see Theo pick up some talented "talent" this offseason instead of picking up some high-ranked "potential." Though I will have to say, Tug might be the most ridiculous name I've experienced.

Someone call Julian Tavarez, please. One thing we do need on this team is personality. Munchkin's giant ego can't do all the work itself. Even with him, the giant hole left by the departure of Manny's ego is still just painful to acknowledge. I want fun! I want bowling on the field, taping guys to the dugout, wacky handshakes and hugs everywhere. If we're gonna suck this year, it might as well be fun to watch!

Welcome to the Winter Meetings, everyone. Some of my favorite times of Hot Stove Season.

Fetus: Getting the Job Done

Yeah, he threw a lot of pitches, and only went six (but c'mon.... who in our starting rotation has been going more than six?) but it was good enough for a win. Kid only gave up 2 runs, with another run coming off Manny Delcarmen in the 7th. Definitely far better than his last outing.

So we win, 4-3... again. Didn't we win 4-3 on Sunday? Perhaps they liked that score so they decided to keep it.

The good: Varitek drives in the game winning run (yay!). 18 pitches, 1 BB, 1 K, no runs for our closer and his 1.20 ERA. CRW stole a base. JD hit a home run.

The bad: Papi gets hit on the wrist, we were 0-6 with RISP, Youk is now on the DL. I mean, I saw the DL thing coming once I realized he wasn't in the game, but it sucks no less because I knew it. You never want to see your hottest hitter go down with an injury. I just can't help but blame the WBC. All of our players who participated are either hurt, or in Javier Lopez's case... gone. In case I forgot to mention, and I know I did, he was DFA'ed to make room for Daniel Bard. Bard didn't end up getting in the game last night, but I AM excited to see him. Our bullpen is actually looking really good right now. At the beginning of the year, Delcarmen terrified me because of what I remembered from last season, but he rounded into form and he's been fantastic for us. OK, Paps might be a little bit scary, but I'm working on a notion that he's doing it intentionally so his saves seem all the more impressive. It's all part of the plan to get that big payday he wants.... even if it does seem slightly counterproductive.

We'll see how Papi's wrist is feeling today. Supposedly, Munchkin is planning on returning to the lineup today. But that's what they were saying about Youk last week, and a week later he's on the DL, so I don't know if I trust the front office right now. They lie to us just because they can. But honestly I don't really care if they do.

NESN had a graphic up last night with a picture of JayBay and the words 'Canadian bakin'' and I was actually embarrassed for NESN for just a moment. I'm sure there are 8,000 other references they could have used or puns they could have made. To me, calling him that implies that he's ham. Or a ham. Have you ever seen JayBay ham it up for the camera? Neither have I! Let's get some more appropriate puns next time, NESN.

Sox and Bruins both scored 4 times last night. The Celtics also scored 4... 23 different times. The games matched up well. Once the Bruins ended, I flipped on to the Celtics and watched them win (even if it did mean missing the first inning and Drew's home run) and when the Celtics finished, the Sox went on for the rest of the night. I like it when the Boston teams coordinate and all plan to win the same night.

I also liked that the Yankees lost to the Blue Jays, even if it does mean that the Jays stay one game ahead of us, because they have Kevin Millar. And any team with Kevin Millar is my second favorite team for the moment. I'm happy that the O's beat the Rays. I'm happy that Tim's pitching tonight, even if the game IS at 10:00 and I have to be up at quarter to six in the morning. You know not watching is not an option. It just means a nap has to be scheduled right after dinner so that I have the energy to stay up and watch the games. Yes, I make neccessary sacrifices. I do it because I love.

I keep seeing pictures of the Hardy Boys everywhere. It's so odd and random. Now, I've always liked JJ Hardy... I wonder if that's because he reminds me of the Hardy Boys, who were always among my favorites? When wrestling pops back up into my life, it sure tries really hard to drag me back in. It's like a bad boyfriend. I keep leaving him because he sucks and I just don't know who he is any more, but somehow, he convinces me that he's the same as he's always been, and he drags me back just for me to be mentally abused all over again. I have an abusive relationship with pro wrestling. I just don't know if I could ever care about it again the way I used to...

Anyway, back from my tangent... go Sox!

Gabe Kapler: Another One for the Bad Guys

No matter how long they are known as the Rays, the Devil will always be implied.

Gabe Kapler apparently couldn't find a better market for himself, so he settled for signing a one-one contract. Maybe he sees the Rays as a perennial contender, what with their young pitching and manager with Weezer glasses. I don't know. I'm happy that Gabe has a job, and happier that we'll be seeing him many times over the course of the season. I'm just not happy that he's playing for them. Them. The (Devil) Rays.

Is this the Rays' retribution against us for having signed Rocco Baldelli? They want to steal one of our own? One of the 25?! It's not right. Sigh. Not like I'll hold it against Gabe or anything. How could I ever stay mad at him? It's not like he signed with the Yankees.

In other news:
-Mike Sciocia signed a ten year extension with the Angels.
-the Grand Jury is looking into a perjury case against good old Billy Boy Clemens. Honestly, I like seeing Roger embarassed as much as anyone else, but let's stop wasting all this goddamned money on him. We all know he lied. We also all know he'll never see the inside of a jail cell, so what's the point? He can't possibly be embarrased any further. He's about as low as anyone can be right now.
-The Brewers avoided arbitration with J.J. Hardy by inking him to a one-year $4.6 million deal. J.J. Hardy is one of those guys I really wish Theo would pick up. He's not the absolute best short stop in the world, but still. Better than POS.
-According to the Globe, the Sox are intending to approach Kazerud about a contract extention. I don't know what Theo would want with him. He's not old or injured...

Glad that the Hot Stove is finally warm instead of cold...