Showing posts with label I hate Theo Epstein. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I hate Theo Epstein. Show all posts

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Theo: Screws Us Again

Chris Carpenter. It took months to agree for the Cubs to send us Chris Carpenter as compensation for our jerk of a former GM.

And now? Now Chris Carpenter is going to have elbow surgery. And will be out indefinitely. Thanks a lot, Theo, you jackass.

It's not bad enough that Theo signed a bunch of really terrible contracts with guys like John Lackey. It's not enough that he bolted to the Cubs after the worst collapse the Sox have ever suffered. It's not enough that he took complete advantage of our front office (though I blame them more than him for that) in the whole negotiation process for compensation. Now, the compensation we did get is injured, so we essentially got no compensation at all. As if I needed another reason to dislike Theo.

In other news, Jed Lowrie is hurt. Again. Reports coming out of every part of the country say that no one is surprised, and we're all shocked he lasted this long without spraining or breaking something.

Opening day was yesterday. Happy belated opening day, all! Today, in game two of the season, Josh Reddick hit a home run for Oakland that had them sitting pretty atop Seattle the last time I checked. I could check now and see what the final was, but I don't care that much. Because the real opening day is not for another week. Literally, one week from now, we have real, stat-affecting baseball! I can't believe it, either. And just 15 days from now, Opening Day at Fenway. I can't wait. I really cannot wait. If I find a way to fast forward time, I'm doing it. I don't care what special events or important occassions anyone else has in the next 15 days. You're skipping them. Sorry.

In just one week, Jon Lester will take the hill for the first time this season. The anticipation is killing me.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

As The Crickets Chirp: Darvish Finds Out The Name Of His Secret Admirerer

The Red Sox seem to have posted no bid for Yu Darvish, so there hasn't been much news coming out of my go-to media outlets about his posting process. My guess is that after the fiasco that was Dice-K, Keebler decided that the best bet would be to stay far, far away from that mess. Actually, I think the reason that Keebs has made such minor moves and has kept so quiet is his post-traumatic stress disorder kicked in at the mere mention of a posting process.

"No, Theo, don't do it!" He begged.

"Quiet, Ben. This Dice-K guy is a sure thing."

"Won't you please think of the children?! The children, Theo! They don't even know what a gyroball is! I'm not sure it really exists!"

"Enough out of you. Back in the basement you go."

And there Ben would stay, through the bidding and negotiation. He was only let out of the basement once the damage was done, and even then he was given a pencil and a piece of paper and forced to learn how to spell Matsuzaka. It's bad memories for him. He just couldn't go through that again!

Anyway, the Texas Rangers won the bidding. I guess they saw something in this guy, and if Nolan Ryan thinks he's good enough, then I'm looking forward to seeing him pitch. Against us. When we face the Rangers. Wait, why am I looking forward to this? I give up. It's been a slow week. In case nothing else happens and I don't check in before Sunday, have a very Merry Christmas, you all.

I'm sort of hoping that Santa leaves me a right fielder in my stocking. What are you hoping Santa leaves you?

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Mike Cameron: Marlin

And just like that, it's over. After being designated for assigment by the Sox just a few days ago, Mike Cameron has been traded to the Florida Marlins for cash or the dreaded PTBNL.

I really do wish him well. He always had a smile on his face, whether he was hitting or not, whether he got playing time or not. It had to hurt watching them trot JD Drew out there, knowing that he was a better fielder and had the potential to be a better hitter. He handled it with grace. I hope he gets more playing time with the Marlins than he did with us. Good luck, Mike! Keep smiling!

In other matters... Theo, I need a favor. I don't know if you could actually get this done, but I promise to stop bitching at you at LEAST until the end of the season (maybe longer!) if you could at least try. Are you listening? Good!

So Theo... rumor has it that my coveted shortstop, JJ Hardy, is on the trading block. I want him on my team. You OWE me this, because you took Gonzo away from me TWICE! TWICE, THEO! Do you know how painful it was for me to see him leave twice? Damn near broke my heart. I'm asking nicely. Please try. Make an effort. I want Hardy between second and third by August 1st. I don't think it's much to ask. Do you? No. You don't. Thanks in advance!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I Just... I Don't Get It.

I completely lack any form of comprehension about what they're doing. Honestly. I'm not trying to be funny or amusing in any way, I really, truly do not understand this team. How do we go from the grit and fire of Tuesday's game to laying down like little whipped puppies at the hands of Fetus? Sure, you don't want to beat up on a former team mate, but could they not have gone 0-9 with runners in scoring position? Fetus has not been a good pitcher since he left this team, and he's exactly the type of pitcher the Sox need to beat up on.... and he's exactly the kind of pitcher we've been consistently losing to all year and I just don't know what to make of it. They're supposed to be too good to get beaten like this.

Watching this team this season has been like shooting off fireworks and staring at the sky waiting for the explosion, but the explosion never comes. We have everything we should need, but for some reason, it's just not happening.

After games like this, I always look for someone to blame. It's my natural reaction to a painful, soul-crushing loss that should have never happened. My instant reaction is Cash, because, all joking aside, I think he's a pitiful excuse for a catcher and he has no business being on a major league team. He is inept at game calling, and can't seem to catch anything with runners in scoring position. Offensively, he can't hit his own weight, and there's no power there. So he's my first candidate.

My second candidate is Beltre. I know Lester wasn't pitching well, and he certainly didn't help himself by throwing that bunt away, but it seemed like all night that Beltre was diving to his right to try to make plays and the ball just rolled by him. I feel like there was no effort out of him defensively last night. He wasn't making plays that I KNOW he can make, and more importantly, that Mike Lowell can make.

But, really, I blame Tito. I get that he doesn't want to exhaust Victor as a catcher, and I get that Fetus is tough on righties, but didn't he learn from the last time that his approach against our former pitcher wasn't working? You have Mikey on the bench, with all the motivation in the world to do well, even after Fetus came out of the game. I mean, I guess you shouldn't have to play your very best lineup against the Indians, especially when you have Lester on the mound, but I feel like there was a lot of poor managing in this game. I wonder though, if it was more Tito or Theo. Maybe I should just blame Theo.

I don't know. I want to have faith, but my faith is wavering. I feel like there just might not be enough time left for them to put it all together. I'm not going to give up on them, per se. I'll still be watching and cheering and going to Fenway as often as I can justify, but I'm really starting to feel like it's over. The weekend series with the Yankees will seal it for me one way or another. They don't have to win all the games, I just want to see that there's still fire on the team and I'll be able to believe. When they lay down for the Indians, I really question if they've got anything left.... even though only 24 hours prior to that, it looked like they were ready to demolish anything in their paths (I know, it was mostly Beckett, but still). I'm sure you can tell I'm feeling pretty negative today. I feel like I'm allowed to have my few moments of negativity over the course of a very long season. It's just that I can't think of a single positive from last night's game, and I am disappointed. I think all the fans are bummed out after a loss like this, and a lot of people are questioning if the team has it, if we're ever going to get the explosion that we're waiting for, or if we'll all just be left staring at the sky come October, wondering where it all went wrong.

All I need to see is a spark and I'll believe. Just one spark, guys. I'm begging you. Don't go out with a whimper, make a show out of it.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Santana: Get Better Soon

I sort of don't care that we lost. The Sox staged a good comeback. Sure, it fell a little short, but the didn't give up like I figured they would have. And honestly, after watching their catcher get maimed at our hands, we sort of owed them a win. Kalish felt horrible. You could see it all over his face how bad he felt. Obviously, he didn't do it on purpose, it was just a routine play where the catcher wasn't able to get into position before the collision at home. That doesn't mean it was easy to watch (though NESN apparently thought it was, re-showing it over and over), and every time I watched it, I cringed. Carlos must have been in some kind of shock, because I think I was crying harder than he was. You never want to see that sort of thing happen to anyone, especially to a young kid just trying to earn his keep at the big league level, and double especially not to a catcher, because my God do I love catchers. All I can say is that I hope he heals quickly and that they give him plenty of painkillers until he does heal.

I guess it was sort of fair that we lost Youk to a thumb injury. Yeah, having him in the lineup is a good thing, but I'll admit, I hope he goes on the DL if only to give Mikey Lowell the chance to come up and get his love and admiration from the fans before Theo ungraciously kicks him to the curb. I fail to understand why Theo seems to hate Mike so much. I used to think it was because he was part of the Beckett deal that took Hanley Ramirez away from us, but Theo seems to like Beckett. He's given him two contract extensions. The only thing I can think of now is that Theo is jealous of Mike's unbridled awesomeness, and he just can't bear to look at him and realize that he can never be Mike. I'm sure Mikey gets that a lot, but it's got to be hard being that fantastic.

Oh, but John Lackey, don't think this gets you off the hook, you giant, expensive mistake. I'd like to take an honest survey of Red Sox fans to see if there was anyone not named Theo Epstein that thought the Lackey signing was a good idea. And for five years! He wouldn't give guys like Pedro and Damon five years after their track records with the team, but he gives Lackey, a guy who never seemed to get it done on the big stage against us and was getting hurt more and more frequently, a five year contract. We really have to suffer through four more years of this? I'm especially harsh because I never liked Lackey to begin with, and he's taking up a rotation spot that could be occupied by Timothy... and before any of my hypothetical readers give me stats comparing Lackey to Wakefield, I want to point out that I'm a big fan of sentimentality and there are few players I get more sentimental over than Wakefield. If it were up to me, Trot Nixon would still be in right field. Be happy that I'm not in charge of assembling a team.

Lackey may have had a couple of good games, but I still feel like he needs to prove something... anything... to the Fenway faithful before we can get behind him. You can't fall apart like that to a team like the Indians. Much like the rest of Lackey's season, it's just not good enough. I don't care how many wins he has.

Beckett tonight. At least, Beckett better be tonight, because I bought tickets for tonight's game specifically to see Beckett. I have a history of missing Josh because of injuries, rain, or rotation changes. He's our only starter that I haven't seen live this year. I mean, for goodness sake, I got to see Felix Doubront before I got to see Josh! So I'm looking forward to seeing my favorite Texan pitcher. And he better be ready to show up Lackey because I will not tolerate another performance like last night's.

Also, for people who think it's impossible to get tickets... as soon as they announced that Wednesday night would be Lester vs. Fetus, I went on redsox.com and bought two infield grandstand tickets for face value. It's easier to get 'cheap' tickets now than it's been in half a decade. Take advantage of it. If you don't, don't complain to me that you can't get tickets, because I'll know you're just not trying.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Trade Deadline: My Reaction

I hate you, Theo. I honestly do.

We needed bullpen help. You bring up a kid who couldn't get it done during his first stint with the big league club earlier this year. You also traded Ramon Ramirez for essentially nothing. Manny Delcarmen is still on the team. Bullpen: Not improved at all.

We needed outfield help. You designate Hermida for assignment, and bring up Kalish. Despite me wanting to see Kalish this season, how does a guy with no prior big league experience help us? Outfield: Not improved.

So, I guess we're supposed to wave the white flag now? I guess no one sent Papi the memo.

Mike Lowell still is in no man's land, and we're five and a half games out of a playoff spot.

Can everyone PLEASE stop telling me how much of a genius Theo is? I guess he wants to just wait till next year.

Oh, I still hate Adrian Beltre.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Saturday: Will Do Bad Things To You

Specifically, Saturday did a good job triggering a bunch of anxiety issues, and making people all whiney. I actually got a text saying, "I wish we could run Henry, Werner, Lucchino, and Theo out of town and get back to to way the Red Sox were. It used to be so much fun to watch a baseball game!"

Of course, I'm not quite THAT reactionary yet, so I made it clear that I in NO way agree with that statement. Yeah, let's go back to the cloudy judgment of the Yawkey Family, who I credit only for keeping the team crappy for as long as they did. I love what the ownership group did with this team. Sure, I'm not happy with the GM, but how many teams are happy with their GM's? Everyone can always find things to complain about when it comes to how their favorite teams are assembled. Theo just makes it easy for me to find complaints. And, oh, I have many. Including, but not limited to, our defense. They have me holding back vomit.

And then Dahmer still can't pull himself together after a base hit. Does this kid had PTSD or what? I'm not going to go off on him. We all know I've never been sold on his talent. That has nothing to do with him. It's all about my biases. See, it's fun because I can look at two pitchers like Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz, and I can see nothing but good in Lester and nothing but mediocrity in Buchholz. But they've both been pretty mediocre lately, so I have no substantial basis for my analysis of the two. I pick favorites. It's what I do, and it's what you do, too. Everyone who follows sports picks favorites.

The most painful part was, of course, pulling to within a run and having our dreams shattered when we just absolutely could not push one more across. One run losses hurt the most, especially when you're just so close from coming back from a big deficit. These games have been hard to watch. We are not playing anything close to good baseball right now, but I absolutely have to believe they're going to click. On the plus side, the facts that NO ONE can get hits with runners in scoring position, no one can field, and our pitching has been pretty terrible at times means that some of the anger has been directed away from Papi. I still stand by my support for the man, because he is clutch... deep down, somewhere hidden right now, his clutchiness is hiding. We've just got to force it out. I have my faith intact.

I need another break before recounting Sunday's game. Hopefully I'll have that commited to blog form before the end of the game that starts in forty minutes. I might hate to write the next entry, but it's got to be written. We all know it does. My goal for the month is 23 blog entries. I'm not even close right now, and we're winding down, so all games have to be written about... no matter how painful they are. Sigh. They'll snap out of this. They have to. There's too much talent for them to be this bad forever.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

My opinion: Doesn't matter even a little

I feel like I'm rehashing the same sentiment over and over this offseason. How I feel about the trades and the pickups and Theo isn't going to stop me from going to games. It isn't going to stop me from watching on TV, or following the team via news updates. Nothing Theo can do is going to make me hate the Red Sox.

But, man, I feel like he's really trying.

Again, I am in the minority of people who think this is just a stupid move. I know I am. I remain unapologetic. I usually dislike the moves of Mr. Epstein, but never since he's been aboard have I been absolutely disgusted with every decision he's made. Every single one of them. I can't think of a year where I hated everything he did. This, so far, is that year. Granted, he's got time before pitchers and catchers report to do something that makes me think 'hmm... ok.' And, for all I know, once the season starts, I might fall in love with one of these guys that I don't like. I just might. I'll keep an open mind about it. I guess I just need to watch them play. But that doesn't take away from the fact that, damnit, I did not want Beltre. Yay for defense and all, but you still can't win games if you don't score runs. We all know Beltre's best year was 2004. His numbers were crazy good, though I will not speculate why. Maybe last year was an abberation, and his numbers will go back up, but a .265 average and a .304 OBP doesn't instill a ton of confidence, and certainly doesn't seem like an upgrade over the .290/.337 that Mikey put up in '09.

Ok, but we're not getting him for his bat (but for chrissakes, who ARE we getting for their bat?!), so let me just glance at fielding stats.... Beltre is coming to us fresh off a year where he made 19 errors and had .959 fielding percentage in 341 chances. Ok. Fair. I'm not going to get into zone rating and things of that nature, because, well, I'm no good at it, and I don't want to. As for Mikey, 265 chances brought him 14 errors and a .966 fld%. So, the defensive upgrade is about thismuch. I'll give him that.

But can Beltre salsa dance with the smoothness that Mikey is able to maintain? No? I thought not. And I love Mikey. I don't care for Beltre, or really just about anyone who would come in and take Mikey's job away. Not appreciative.

All I'm saying is that these new guys better bring some damn personality to this team, because it's been sorely lacking since Millar and Manny left town. But we all know that Theo isn't a big fan of personality. Or, apparently, talent.

Ok, ok. I swear. I'll stop now. I'll just look forward to the opening of the season and I won't criticize players before they have a chance to win me over any more. But damnit, I will not stop complaining about the GM. It's my right as a Red Sox fan!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Not Trusting Theo: No Effect On My Desire To Go To Games

I may have mentioned it before, but really, no matter how much I dislike each individual component of the team, I love the team. I have tickets right now for three games at Fenway next season, and I will be heading to Baltimore, as usual, to see the Sox there. No matter HOW badly I dislike the moves by our esteemed GM.

I am a harsh Theo critic, perhaps unfairly. The fact that he tries to conduct business without any of the emotional, sentimental stuff getting in the way is what bugs me, but I know that's his job. He's not supposed to be sentimental. He's supposed to think of the greater good for the club. But the 'greater good' always seems to be getting rid of players that I want to keep. I've said it before, I would not be a good GM because I don't want to separate the heart and mind when it comes to baseball. Thank God I'm a fan so I don't have to. In 2004, Theo was a hero. In 2005, I had no issues with him, except that whole Renteria mess. I questioned it. Of course I did. In 2006, that's when Theo started breaking my heart. He traded Arroyo for Wily freakin' Mo, who... I don't even think he has a job any more. What happened down the stretch in 2006? We needed pitching like people in hell need ice water. We were throwing every straight-off-the-garbage-heap player we could find on the mound, and.... well, we all know how '06 ended. Maybe I unfairly expected Theo to be a fortune teller, and to realize that pitching is harder to come by than hitting, so you don't trade a decent mid-level starter who can eat innings for some unproven bat that has nothing but unachieved potential.

In 2007, there was Gagne. At the time, I thought it was a good move, but it was not, and again, I unfairly blamed Theo for it. Oh man, I almost forgot that 2007 was also the year of Lugo. And Drew. Holy hell, that was a bad year in terms of talent. Yeah, we won the world series and all, but Lugo, Drew, and Gagne in one year? Brutal.

In 2008, he got rid of Mirabelli. Unforgivable.

Now, at the end of the '09 season, he brings us Lackey. And Cameron. I don't see either as a smart move, and of course, here's why.

Cameron is the better of the two, short years, not too much money, great defense. We desperately needed defense in the outfield. As much as I loved Kazerud, he was not a defensive wizard, and don't even get me started on CRW. Watching him play defense on an average day usually gets me pretty angry. Whatever. Defense is fantastic, and I love preventing runs. The problem is, Cameron is seemingly replacing Kazerud, who was a very decent hitter and managed a good HR or two whenever we needed it. Mike Cameron is not going to replace Jason's bat, and we all know it. Fine. As long as the defense is shored up a bit, I guess I can do without the bat. But the guy will be 37 years old at the start of the season.... so, I don't know, I guess I'm expecting some DL time and a serious fade after the all-star break.

Now for Lackey. I HATE this signing. Aside from my personal hatred for all things Lackey, and that goes all the way to the stupid look on his face or how he was running his big whiney mouth about the Sox during the playoffs, I hate the deal. Listen, I admitted my irrational dislike for all things Theo, but one thing I've found to be true - When Theo falls in love with a player enough to give them a stupidly large contract, it doesn't tend to work in our favor. I understand that 5yrs/$80+ M is the running rate for top-of-the-rotation pitchers, but the only people Theo hands out big years to turn into busts. Rentaria. Lugo. Drew (and I put him on this list even with my growing affection for the man). Him falling in love with a player frightens me. I'm not even so concerned about Lackey's terrible numbers at Fenway. I am concerned with his terrible numbers against AL East opponents, though. This deal truly concerns me, and the fact that I now run the risk of having to see Lackey pitch in my park terrifies me as much as the thought of watching Penny pitch terrified me. Oh, how I long for Arroyo.

Now that I'm done being all mopey and irrational and emotional, so far this is what the team looks like to me (considering the Lowell deal is not official on paper or in my heart yet): C- Victor Martinez (toying with the idea of calling him either Vicky or Victory.... I'll explain at some point). 1B- Asshat, 2B - Munchkin, SS- Marco Scutaro, 3B - Mr. Awesome, LF - Mike Cameron, CF - CRW, RF - JD. Pitching Rotation: Beckett, Lester, Lackey, Dice-K, Wakefield.... don't know where Dahmer fits into all of this... we've never stuck with a six man rotation for more than a week, so maybe he's the odd man out. I'm hoping he's the odd man out. I don't even know who's in our bullpen any more... Paps, Oki, Strike-out-king, Rambo, Rambo 2, Boof Bonser?, Bard.... no clue. We'll see.

Something like 63 days till pitchers and catchers report. God bless a short offseason.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wait.... Perspective: I Lost It

Because I am a thoroughly irrational and ridiculous girl, despite my well-documented love for most things Red Sox, I am angered this morning. Are you kidding me, Theo? SERIOUSLY?! You're going to get rid of my Mikey? NO! I do not accept this. I was supposed to get one more damn year of Mike, and now you are trying to take him away from me? Do. Not. Want.

I am horribly, terribly angry this morning, and I'm allowed to be. Mike is definitely one of my favorite players. As a matter of fact, his handsome face is staring at me from my calendar this month. It is the month of the Mikey, and now I am losing him? Horrendous. Unacceptable. My sentimentality is offended beyond belief, so much that I refuse to even look at this from a rational, team-benefiting perspective. Nope, I'm just going to bitch and moan about it until I feel better or take a liking to one of the spare pieces of garbage that Theo's been amassing.

Really though, I'm angry, and so very sad. And no, I don't think any player that Theo's been coveting or acquiring will do anything to improve our team. I think his additions are actually going to make the team worse. We need a bat, so... we trade away one of the guys who was actually pretty good with a bat? What? I know he hit into a ton of double plays, and his 3B range wasn't so hot any more, but come on! And yes, I get it. Theo has surrendered this year as a rebuilding year, but does that mean he has to take away our opportunities to win? I'm starting to think my dream about him trading Jon Lester might not be so crazy after all. Now I am concerned. And again, I'm aware that I'm being irrational, but I don't care. I'm allowed to be irrational when I want to be. And right now, I want to be.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn: Good morning!

I've been hibernating. Feels like a whole new year already. We're close to one, but not there yet. Tickets for spring training went on sale already, and soon we'll be in virtual waiting hell. No, I'm really not looking forward to it, but I'll be there because hell, I love those stupid Red Sox.

That being said, I'd like to welcome everyone back into the revolving shortstop door of hell. I'm going to absolutely hate to do it, but it's time to update my cast of characters again and move Gonzo back into the former player category. So now we're stuck with Scutaro. Pardon me if my enthusiasm for this isn't shining through in my writing. It's only because, well, I'm just not enthusiastic about it. You know what the Twins did? They got J.J. Hardy. I wanted J.J. Hardy. I knew that the Sox wouldn't bring back Gonzo, but I hoped to high heavens that they would consider trading for Hardy. Young, relatively talented, certainly no worse than anyone else we've had in here (except Gonzo), and controllable in the arbitration market.... to my knowledge anyway. Listen, I like him. It's not just because his name is Hardy. I think he would have been good for this team. But no. We've got Scutato. Hoo-ray.

So now we wait for the craziness of the winter meetings to hopefully produce a left fielder for us. Or a center fielder if they move Jacoby to left. Hell, let's get Coco Crisp back! Is Manny available? No? Pity, I would have liked to see him in a Sox uniform again. And yes, I know I am the minority in that opinion. Honestly, I'm not going to panic whether we get Bay, or Holliday, or none of the above, because my expectations of the team coming into this year are ZERO. I expect it to be a complete re-building year as we prepare for the final bows of Papi and Mikey, and the last appearance of the shell formerly known as Jason Varitek. We'll probably see Beckett pack up his huntin' rifles (and possibly Jonathan Papelbon) and head for greener pastures. Lord knows Theo won't think about giving him a long term contract. It's crazy how fast we've gone through four seasons of the Commander and Mr. Awesome. Feels like they've been part of the team forever. I like it that way, but I guess I have to be prepared for that to end.

I had an awful dream that Theo traded my Binky to the Yankees, which I KNOW he would never do, but it was a tad traumatizing, and it made me lose even more faith in our GM. I know the phrase is "In Theo We Trust" but there are just so many of his moves that seem completely boneheaded that I have to, you know, not trust him. I'd like to see Theo pick up some talented "talent" this offseason instead of picking up some high-ranked "potential." Though I will have to say, Tug might be the most ridiculous name I've experienced.

Someone call Julian Tavarez, please. One thing we do need on this team is personality. Munchkin's giant ego can't do all the work itself. Even with him, the giant hole left by the departure of Manny's ego is still just painful to acknowledge. I want fun! I want bowling on the field, taping guys to the dugout, wacky handshakes and hugs everywhere. If we're gonna suck this year, it might as well be fun to watch!

Welcome to the Winter Meetings, everyone. Some of my favorite times of Hot Stove Season.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Theo Epstein: Master of... Thriftiness?

Ok. It's January 6th. Enough with the foolishness, Theo. Stop collecting other teams' garbage and focus, will you?

It's not that I don't think Virgil Vasquez, Dewon Day, Ramon Ramirez, Wes Littleton, Miguel Gonzalez, Junichi Tazawa, Josh Bard, Brad Penny, and Nick Green (along with a plethora of minor league players that probably won't see a major league game all year unless they watch one on TV) can be great impact players.... I mean, I don't think they can be, but that's irrelevant. We have a giant problem named Julio Lugo that needs to be removed. We have one major league ready catcher who actually had a WORSE batting average than Tek last year. Who, exactly, is our fourth outfielder? Does anyone feel comfortable will the bullpen we have? Utility infielder, anyone?

Listen, I know most of these are questions that will be answered in spring training, when baseball season blooms again and everything seems wonderful and new. Great. I still want a catcher. Be it Tek, or Teagarden, or Saltalamacchia.... one way or another, we need someone who can handle our pitchers. Better yet, if Josh Bard is set to be our every day catcher.... who is catching for Wake now that evil, horrible, stupid Kevin Cash is gone? Who? WHO?!

Theo does not make the off-season easy for me. I mean, one day we have meaningful baseball games, and the next day it's over, and nothing remotely interesting happens with the Red Sox for months? I'm dying here, Theo. Planning my different baseball related trips for the year does nothing to quench my thirst. Toss me a catcher, will you? Better yet, toss out our old shortstop! Do SOMETHING.

On a side note, I enjoy that Andy Pettitte turned down the Yankees' offer. I still think it's inevitable that he'll rejoin them, but I enjoy that he turned down their 1-year, $10 million offer. Hell, if they can shell out hundreds and thousands of dollars to a guy with an ERA over 7 in playoff games, why are they lowballing Pettitte? He's helped them win big before, hasn't he? Not the time to get cheap now, Hanky!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Charlie Zink: Starring In A Debut to Remember

Ok, Zink wasn't really good last night. I'll chalk that up to him being a knuckleballer, and the knuckleball dancing in magical and mysterious ways that no one really understands. I don't think a demotion was warranted... especially since it means Paul Byrd is being added to the roster.

As if I needed any more reasons to wish Theo Epstein would spontaneously combust. Really? Paul Byrd? Are you f*&^ing kidding me? He's an HGH junkie! Theo, you idiot! Why do we need this guy on our team? You really think he's going to be any better than Dahmer? I shudder to think about the direction this team is going, since Theo doesn't seem to mind picking up drug abusers. Nice job, you useless moron. Why don't you just sign Barry Bonds to replace Mike Lowell. That seems just as logical to me*.

*Disclaimer... I don't think anything Theo does is logical. Sometimes, my distaste for Theo makes me say stupid things.

Again. We need bullpen help, and Theo gets us a drug-addict starter who I affectionately refer to as Gargoyle. Ugh..

If ever there was proof that we needed bullpen help (and maybe that Delcarmen needs to find an apartment in Pawtucket), there was last night's game. Charlie Zink allowed 8 runs, and the bullpen allowed 9 more. 9 runs from our bullpen. Charlie has an excuse... this was his first-ever major league start, and he was facing one of the best offenses in baseball. The rest of the bullpen didn't have an excuse. Thank God 2007 Okajima came to visit yesterday.

On a night where we allow 17 runs, one would assume that we lost the game. But no, thanks to some spectacular offense on our side, we ended up winning. Then again, one would assume if we scored ten runs in the first inning like we did last night, the game would have been a piece of cake. Also not true (see: Bullpen bitching, above). We ended up with 17 hits, 19 runs, 10 BB's, and 6 K's. Munchkin went 5-6. Ortiz hit 2 three-run HR's (in the first!) and a double. Asshat went 2-5, with both of his hits being HR's. It was an offensive explosion. Hopefully they saved some runs for Binky tonight. All in all, it could have gone worse for Zink, but I do think he showed enough promise to maybe get another chance some time this year.

Injury report: Mikey Lowell strained an oblique (an injury that screams Trot Nixon to me)... he's going for an MRI today, and chances are good that he's going to be placed on the DL. Sigh. Get well soon, Mikey!

In other news: Manny was tardy for his game yesterday, and he still hasn't cut his hair.
-The (Devil) Rays lost, so we gained a game on them. Hopefully, we can keep doing that whole gaining games thing....
-Julio Lugo is STILL NOT PLAYING! Thank God for small miracles!

Have a delightful Wednesday, everyone.

Friday, August 1, 2008

It's so hard to say goodbye to Manny....

I will start by saying this: Damn you, Theo, you goddamned moron. What have you done?! Talk about having your head up your ass... have you not seen our bullpen? Why is trading Manny Ramirez your number one priority when we have NO reliable set-up guys?! What the hell is wrong with you?! You got SPANKED on this trade. SPANKED. I can't STAND you!

Jason Bay better be batting .500 for the rest of the damn season. Even then, he won't match what Manny brought us. And by that, I mean he won't match the joy. Manny brought me a lot of joy.

The world as I see it is broken up into three categories: Manny-bashers, Manny apologists, and Manny-neutral folks. I'm a Manny apologist, so obviously my arguments are going to be siding with good old ::sad gulp:: 24... who I guess is going to be #28 now. This is not right. This should have never happened.

To people who say this had to happen because Manny would have shut down: You. Don't. Know. That. The magic of Manny was that he was unpredictable. I believe wholeheartedly that if Manny stayed, he would have shut up and put up the numbers he needed to get that big contract, and he could have walked at the end of the year, and we could have all waved and smiled and shed a happy tear during his last at-bat, because despite all the crap that has happened, we loved our Manny. You don't get paid if you can't produce, and he would have needed to produce a lot in order to warrant that contract. Don't think for a second that Bora$ would have let him get away with that.

and now...

Dear Manny,

I hope you can be happy now. I honestly do. Watching you for these last wonderful years has been my pleasure. And now I see you're heading out west, and yes, my eyes water a little. You brought so much happiness to this city, but it always seemed to be overshadowed by the media for one reason or another. I don't blame you for wanting to leave. I blame you for how you handled it, but I will never villainize you the way the media has done. I want to thank you. Thank you for the two championships you helped bring to Boston. I'm absolutely lucky to have seen one, nevermind two. Thank you for wearing baggy uniforms and letting your hair grow. Thank you for playing the game like a little kid, the way it should be played. Thank you for admiring your home runs, high-fiving fans, hiding in the monster, bringing bottles of water on the field, cutting off throws from Damon, rolling around on the grass, and being just a fun guy to watch. Not everyone appreciated it, but I did, and damnit if I'm not missing you already. Thank you for giving this team character, and being a reason Ortiz got the chance to carry the team. Of course they had to pitch to him. Either that, or pitch to you. And you're Manny f*&^ing Ramirez. I didn't want it to end this way. I wanted you to remain a Red Sock. I wanted you to be happy here. I guess it just couldn't be, and one day I will accept this. I'll miss you and your bright smile. Nothing will ever match Manny being Manny. Thanks, Manny, and good luck.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Bartolo Colon: Easing the Loss of Dice-K

First of all, do not panic. Dice-K is not lost. He is merely misplaced. It happens to all good pitchers every once in a while. Don't worry, someone surely gave him a map back to Fenway by now. I'm excited for his return because it will give me an excuse to use this picture: Hey look at that! I found an excuse!

It makes me happy that this signing worked out for Theo, because I have one less reason not to like Theo, and I really don't enjoy not liking Theo. Sad truth is, I don't like him. Regardless...

Bartolo pitched well. The best part of the game, of course, were the beautiful home runs by the Captain and Mr. Awesome. Neither had been doing terribly, but they also hadn't been doing much, so this was nice to see. Especially since the Captain was under the weather, I feel all the more amazed that he was able to will that ball not only over the wall, but onto someone's windshield in a kind gesture to give someone a surprise souvenir. Unfortunately for now, I can't find a picture of that, so you'll have to do without. The Captain... he's a giver. He's not too bad to look at either. (That would be an understatement)

I did not see the last two innings of the game for undisclosed reasons (that I assure you had nothing to do with coffee). I did hear that the Admiral was not, to be kind, sharp. But do not kid yourselves. His hunting arrows are quite sharp, and he knows how to use them. And he's not afraid to. So, be kind to the Admiral, or you might have to pull a hunting arrow out of your skull. My guess is that it would be something you would not enjoy. Just a guess though.

What else happened last night... hmmm... OH! I know. One of the .500 teams in our division lost. Actually, ALL of the .500 teams in our division lost. So did those pesky (Devil) Rays, which is nice. It's always good to get a little bit of a lead before we head out on the road. Lord knows we'll need it. One more at home, then it's time for some interleague!

You can at least pretend to be excited.