Pitching Fails: Part Two Of Money Burning

Ok, admittedly, I didn't find as many position players as I hoped to actually fill out a major league roster. Two catchers, two first basemen, no second or third basemen, two shortstops, and three outfielders... That leaves me with sixteen spots open for pitching. Luckily, I have seventeen pitchers that I consider putrid! I guess I will have to make up my mind on who gets dropped by the end of the post.

Regardless, I just couldn't wait to post about the pitchers like I thought I could. Impatience will kill me one of these days, dear friends.

Here we go!

Starters: If you thought for a second that John Lackey was not on this list, discontinue that thought now. Could it really be a coincidence that we haven't reached the playoffs since Lackey inked that absurd five year $82M contract? He makes everyone around him worse. This will surely go down as the worst free-agent pitching acquisition in history. Definitely the worst in Red Sox history at least.

Daisuke Matsuzaka. Six years, $52M. His first two seasons were decent. 2007 was actually pretty good. Unfortunately, in the last three years, he's played exactly 45 games, totaling 250.1 innings. In three seasons. That means last year, he made almost $1.3M per game. For that kind of money, you better be winning every start. Even if he comes back and has a Cy Young calibur season this year, it'll never make up for the rest of that contract.

Matt Clement. I know, he got hit on the head, and that can really mess a guy up. It doesn't change the fact that he still collected every penny of that $26M/3 year contract. Over the course of the contract, he only pitched two of those seasons, posting a 5.09 ERA in 44 games, 256 innings. Yup, $101,000 per inning pitched.  He didn't have a big fan following here, but fans of opposing teams loved him.

David Wells. I always felt that "Boomer" was a undercover Yankee operative. The thing about Wells was that he actually posted a winning record in his time here, but I was MISERABLE watching him. 17-10 with a 4.56 ERA? He was so bad in 2006 that we unloaded him to the Padres in August of that year. We still paid the remainder of his two-year, $8M contract. Thank goodness he never racked up any performance bonuses. That could have left the Sox on the hook for $18M!

John Smoltz. It pains me to put him here, because I wanted SO BADLY for him to pitch well. He didn't, and the Smoltz reclamation project was deemed a failure. In eight starts, Smoltzy was 2-5 with an 8.33 ERA. Yes, Virginia, he WAS as bad as Lackey. The Sox gave him $5.5M for those 8 games, but cut him loose in mid-August of 2009, realizing that they could just go no further with him. Still, you can't blame them for taking a chance on a future hall of famer, can you?

Brad Penny. Garbage. Penny's entire Sox career was garbage. He single-handedly ruined many of my evenings at Fenway, and the Fourth of July game that I was so excited to be able to attend. That meat mound made $5M off a one year contract, getting cut ten days after Smoltz. 2009 was the year of Theo's reclamation projects, and not a single one worked out (with the possible exception of Saito.... I don't know if I consider him an exception).

Total Damage: $181,500,000

Bullpen: Let's start with the most recent.... Bobby Jenks. Two years, $12M. Had we known that $12M would include a DUI and multiple trips to the DL, would we have avoided that signing? Knowing Theo, probably not. Jenks appeared in 19 games last year, posting a 2-2 record with 6.32 ERA... but even these horrible numbers do not tell the full horror of Jenks on the mound. Granted, he only allowed 1 out of 4 inherited runners to score, but 22 hits and 13 walks in 15 innings? It makes for some tense, terrible baseball.

Eric Gagne. I would have made this trade, too. The Red Sox were the best team in baseball looking for a little extra help out of the pen for the playoffs. Gagne was pitching like an All-Star for Texas. The Sox agreed to pick up his $2.1M in performance bonuses, and they sent Kason Gabbard and David Murphy to Texas as compensation. Gagne, if you don't remember, was vomit-and-seizure inducingly bad. In 20 games (18.2 innings), he posted a 6.75 ERA. He was a huge part of the ALCS Game 2 meltdown. In his career with the Sox, he had five clean innings. Five. After the world series, Gagne was granted free agency, and that's the last I ever want to hear about Gagme.

Javier Lopez. Lopez was all kinds of awful, mostly in the last year. Acquired via trade from the White Sox in June of '06, Lopez was re-signed by the Sox twice. It was that last time that was regrettable. Of course it was his biggest payday. A one year, $1.3M bought us 14 games, 11 innings, and  a 9.26 ERA.  I would cringe, just flat out cringe every time Lopez would come into a game. I had a plethora of nicknames for him, none of them fit to print.  He was an average lefty from 2006-2008. By 2009, he was destined for the garbage heap.

Brendan Donnelly. The Angels traded Donnelly to us in 2006. Half way through 2007, he needed Tommy John surgery. He was named in the Mitchell Report (which I can't REALLY hold against him). He only appeared in 20 games but still collected $1.4M. Not the worst acquisition ever, but still not a great one.

Rudy Seanez. Rudy signed in December of '05. By August of '06, he was gone. He was part of that all-around terrible bullpen in 2006. It was the type of bullpen that made grown men cry and women faint in the streets. Rudy's paychecks apexed with the Sox, as they happily gave him $1.9M to post a 4.82 ERA in 41 games. Again, not the worst signing (that's Lackey), but generally when you release a pitcher when your team desperately needs pitching, you know it's not pretty.

Ramiro Mendoza. I bet some of you were happy when the Sox signed Mendoza, weren't you? Mendoza signed a 2 year, $6.5M contract at the end of the 2002 season after spending his entire prior career with the Yankees. Well, there was a reason they let him walk. He appeared in 64 games for the Sox, posting a 5.73 ERA. In 2003, he allowed 54% of inherited runners score. There is a reason that every bad signing results in people comparing the signing to Mendoza. Bad. Bad all around.

Joel Piñiero. Four Million Dollars. FOUR MILLION! And every time he stepped on the mound, he gave me aneurysms. I don't even want to talk about it. 31 games, 5.03 ERA. I wept for joy when we traded him away in July of '07. You think Mendoza was bad? Piñiero made a career out of making my life miserable.

JC Romero. JC signed with the Sox for $1.6M in December of '06. They released him in June of '07. Was he atrocious? No. But to pay that kind of money to a guy that you only get 23 outings out of is not right. I remember not enjoying his time here. Maybe I'm stretching it a bit here, but it's my list and I can do that.

Matt Mantei. Before the 2005 season, the Sox signed Mantei to a one year, $750,000 contract. In 34 games with the Sox, Matt could only get through 26 innings, posting a 6.49 ERA. Granted, the money wasn't extravagant, but it definitely wasn't a mistake the Sox would make again.

Wade Miller. Let's make this short and sweet. Wade pitched for one season, threw 91 innings, posted a 4.95 ERA and collected $1.5M. I wouldn't pay $20,000 per inning for that all over again.

Total Damage: $33,050,000

For the pitching staff alone, the Sox have committed $214,550,000 of essentially worthless dollars. You're looking at an extra $21M per season for the last ten seasons if these guys had never joined up with the Sox. If you add in the position players, the total wasted dollars comes to $386,450,000.

Well, I just made myself sad. At least baseball is on tv tonight, and no matter how bad it is, it's still kind of good.

Winter Meetings: Cold This Year

I always get my hopes up for the winter meetings and end up sleeping most of the way through them. Why? Because they're boring. Really, when's the last time Theo did anything fun at the winter meetings? Nope, can't think of anything, can you? You can't, because he didn't. Or maybe he did, but nothing is coming to mind.

Our signings thus far, that I've heard of, are Scutaro, Atchinson, and Hulett. Should I be jumping for joy over these acquisitions, because I'm not. I was almost not interested enough to even look up the spelling of Hulett's name. I hear the Yankees are getting/have gotten Curtis Granderson? That's great. I've mentioned before that I like grouping all the players I dislike together, so Granderson would be a good fit for the Yankees. Some may recall that Curtis is officially on my shit list forever because of that whole 'breaking up Beckett's no-hitter' thing back in June. I'm not worried about Granderson anyhow.

But other than that, it's been quiet. I hear Penny signed with the Cardinals? I guess he missed Smoltz. Together, their ERA's can balloon up and they can ride them off into the sunset, or some other such silliness. Yeah, still disappointed that I never got around to watching Smoltz pitch live and that i DID get around to watching Penny pitch live, but I'll survive this disappointment. I'm a trooper, after all.

I've gone through the schedule, up to the All-Star Break, and used my incredible powers of deduction and my mind-blowing ability to count to five, and I've pegged the games I plan on getting tickets for next season. There are only a few, but I'm sure I'll be at more than a few games. What would the season be like without the Red Sox live at Fenway and Camden? I just don't know.

And yes, I am still mourning the fact that Gonzo is a Blue Jay.

Tim Wakefield: Triumphant Return

On a day that had many people (including myself) mourning the loss of Ted Kennedy, Tim Wakefield made his return to the Sox. We hadn't seen Tim since the All-Star game, where he had a prominent place on the bench and a great view of the game. I don't care what your politics are, or what you thought of Ted Kennedy, he did plenty for the people of this country, so I don't want any badmouthing. Rest in peace, Ted.

Wakefield made his return alright, and pitched as if he didn't miss over a month of the season. One ER. That's all he gave up. Pretty snazzy, huh? It was nice to see Wakefield back. But of course, I wouldn't expect him to let an injury keep him away from the Jimmy Fund telethon. He HAD to be back by now. I think it's written in his contract. More on the Jimmy Fund later.

Big Papi with two (that would be TWO) home runs last night. I watched his first walk-off in two years while sipping a delightful basil lime martini. I'll tell ya, I could do that every night. Heroic walkoffs and awesome cocktails? I LOVE that combination. It's nice to have a spark in this lineup when we need it most. And, for the record, no. No I'm not rooting for the Yankees while they play the Rangers. I'm also not rooting for the Rangers, but I would PREFER that the Rangers won. This division has not been handed to the Yankees yet. I want the Yanks to have to fight for it.... and lose. But fight, nonetheless!

Really, though, that home run in the 9th was just what this team needed. Can they keep it up? Can Papi be Papi when we need him? Can Beckett stop the suckfest that he's been propagating the last few outings and be Beckett? Can Brad Penny be out of town before the first pitch tonight, never to return!? Can these things happen!? I hope so.

No. I'm not sad that Penny was released. It had to happen. It had to happen for a long time now. So now that two out of Theo's three major reclamation projects from the beginning of the year have failed, can we PLEASE have a change in the motto of who we look for when acquiring pitchers? Saito has been.... ok. Nothing spectacular and I certainly don't trust him in close games. Penny and Smoltz failed. How much more of this has to happen before our GM realizes that it's not working. Time for a new strategy!

Farewell, Brad Penny. I'm glad I didn't bother coming up with a nickname for you. Thanks a lot for pitching on July 4th, and sucking really badly, therefore making me waste my best seats of the year on a crappy, horrible game. Thanks for that. I appreciate it. Now get away from Beckett, you're tainting him!

Billy Wagner: Not Even Close to Making My List

What is the list, you ask? The list is the 'Top 100 Players I'd Like to See Theo Pick Up at Some Point." Wagner was not on that list. Neither was Penny. Neither was Lugo. Drew wasn't either.... and Gagne... no way. you know, I could go on and on about the names of people that Theo picked up that I don't care for and didn't want, but it makes no difference. I ultimately have no say of who is on my favorite team. I root for them anyway. You know who WAS on my list? Alex Gonzalez. So I have no reason to bitch about acquisitions for the rest of the year. I got who I wanted.

I've been playing a game since Gonzo has come back. You've been playing it, too, but you might not have known. The game is called "Lugo would have..." The point of the game is to predict what Lugo would have done with any ball that gets hit towards short. During the course of the game, you'll hear me shouting "Lugo would have missed that!" or "Lugo would have fallen on his face while pretending that he had the range to get there." or "Lugo would have thrown that away." or "Lugo would have found a way to completely botch that double play." The game is really fun for people like me who never liked POS. It's more fun for people who, like me, adored Gonzo's abilities on the field. The best part about the game is that we're all winners, because whatever Lugo WOULD HAVE done, he would have had to do it on another team. Yay! Gonzo's contributions with the bat, which have been fairly decent so far, are just bonuses in my mind, and I don't care what anyone has to say to counter that. Consider me happy.

We're not going to discuss the Commander here right now. I didn't write about his last start. I couldn't. I'm waiting until his next start to pass judgement.

As for Clay Buchholz... ugh. Please go home to Triple A, where it's safe and warm and such. I just don't like him. I can't help it. I tried, and I failed. Send him away.

And Jon Lester... that was probably the least lucky ND I've seen for him in a while. He pitched fine. I saw nothing wrong with his game. I saw some clumsiness on the field and some baseballs taking weird hops, but he deserved that win. Oh well, like I say some times... team stats are more important than individual stats. I've said that before, haven't I? Well, if I hadn't, I probably meant to.

Congratulations to CRW for snagging a Red Sox record of 55 bases. The old record belonged to Tommy Harper. I'm not sure if he was in the house last night to witness the event, but I do know he was rooting Ells on. I think we all were. I like seeing Red Sox records broken by decent people. CRW seems decent. Fun thing is, with more than a month left to the season, he has a good shot at shattering that record but good. Good luck with that!

I'm excited about Timothy's return tonight, and NO, I don't ever want to see Brad Penny coming out of the bullpen. The thought of that frightens me just slightly less than seeing him announced as a starter. Maybe Penny can drive Buchholz down to Pawtucket and get lost on his way back?

Jon Lester: Spits In The Face of People Who Don't Want to be Cool*

*Or that might be a gigantic lie that I made up right now.

Fabulous pitching last night from our end. 8 IP, 1 ER from Jon Lester was more than I hoped for, but I'm certainly happy to have it. It's a shame that he doesn't have about three or four more wins in his tally, because he definitely deserved to win his three starts prior to this, but I'm just going to have to let it go. He's got about five more starts to the year, so he could conceivably finish with 14-15 wins. Not stellar but good enough for me.

He's not gonna win the Cy Young, so I care less about his individual stats that the team stats.

It's nice to see JD Drew, well, do just about anything really without hurting himself. That man is made of glass. He is. It's not his fault, it's just how he was created. I'm toying with the idea that maybe he's part robot. I've never seen anyone as emotionless as Drew, even after hitting two home runs last night. Correct me if I missed it, because I honestly would like to know that there's some human left in there, but he just never looks ANYTHING! Not happy, not sad, not excited or worried... just nothing. Whatever, I guess. If he hits, he can look however he wants to.

I hate to say this. I really, really, really hate to say this and I'll probably change my mind about it in a few days, but it's looking like a good idea to keep Tek seated and let V take over for a while. He can hit. We need offense. I'm sorry, Jason! I am! But you just look so gosh-darned good with the coaching staff! Maybe... no. No, I won't say it. We all know. But I still love you dearly.

It hurt me physically to type that last paragraph. So now I'm wounded like half the roster.... maybe they all got hurt thinking the same thing. I'm just late to the party. Oh well. Elephant Man vs. Penny TO-NITE, LIVE! At GLORIOUS Fenway Park!

Go Sox. Go as far as you can. Or something

The Red Sox: Doing Stuff and Things that Confuse Me

So.... what the heck happened yesterday? I'm confused. The Sox, last night, they scored more runs than their opponent? I mean, the fact that they scored runs at all is mind boggling, but more than the Tigers? I don't know what happened. Is that allowed? Should Bud Selig, in all his useless glory, be called in to confirm that this is legal according to the rule book (not that I expect Bud to know the rule book). We're (sigh) only 5.5 games back now, with still almost two months to play. Awesome!

All kidding aside, that was not a pretty win, but you hear it all the time... there are no extra points for style. Penny was decent. I'd like to see him go longer in the games, but I know I can't have everything. MDC blowing the save in 7th made me twitch angrily for a few minutes, but then I remembered that he's still upset about the whole Fetus debacle, and I forgave him. If it were me, I would have given up runs, too.

So there goes my psycho conspiracy theory that the Red Sox actually enjoy losing. I was so convinced! It made too much sense.... the swinging at the first pitch, the staring at strike three, the pretend injuries... All of them were pretend. Don't think for a second that Jed Lowrie is really hurt. He just doesn't enjoy baseball. I don't know why he does it. And Kazerud? Hamstring? Come on, our old left fielder used that one. At least come up with an injury of your own. I don't know what's bothering Drew this week. Wakey? Well, he's gotten used to his August vacations. That whole 'livelihood' thing really gets bothersome when the kids want to go to Disney, eh, Timmy?

Ok, ok, I'm done with my stupid joke. I get it. It's not funny, I'll stop.... I guess. I did tell you that if the season ended today, we'd be in the playoffs. I do not lie about important things like that. Everything else? All fair game. For all everyone knows, I don't really like Jason Varitek at all.

....

I have no idea what's gotten into me today. I can't believe I just typed that. It's almost sacrilegious. I think I'm just giddy from a beautiful, perfect, wonderful combination of a Red Sox win, a Yankees loss, and Shawn Michaels in a chef's hat. And if you aint down with that, I've got two words for you...

uh....

Mike Lowell.

Yeah, that works. Junichi Tazawa vs. Rick Porcello on the mound tonight. Do we think that Eck will learn the Japanese word for 'cheese'? Here's hoping.

Ok, I Admit It, I Fail

Yes, I am woman enough to admit that I was wrong. This whole John Smoltz thing? It's a disaster. I figured a few bad starts, maybe a slightly elevated ERA, and then the future Hall of Famer would settle down and... I don't know... get some outs? Listen, it just didn't work out that way. I wanted it to work more than anyone I know. When everyone around me was jumping on the 'designate Smoltz' bandwagon, I stayed on the 'give him another chance' one. I think I've finally jumped off. Last night... it was one of those nail-in-the-coffin type moments for me. He can't seem to hold a lead. Ever. I don't know what it is. I do feel absolutely terrible for him because I wanted him to succeed, and I was thrilled when Theo got him. But, this only futhers my theory that I should never be a GM or a manager (not like that would ever happen) because I make decisions about the sport I love with my heart and not my head. In the same line of thinking, since Theo made the move I wanted him to make, maybe he shouldn't be a GM either.

Really, Theo? Paul Byrd AGAIN?! You have so much talent in the minor leagues (PS - where Clay Buchholz should be) and you sign Byrd? Ugh. No, you don't get it, do you? Guys like Byrd and Penny... they're not what we need. I'm not saying we need a Roy Halladay, although that would have been ultimately nice, but we don't need the five innings, 6 ER, 5 BB per outing kind of guys.

Don't mind me. I'm a little frustrated. We don't have Fetus, but we do have Gargoyle and Penny and Smoltz couldn't buy themselves wins right now. No one is scoring runs for Jon Lester, we're 3.5 games back in the division, and goddamn Longoria! You know what I mean. You all know what I mean.

Listen, we've got the Commander on the mound tonight. If he can't get us a win, I don't think I can stomach the rest of the series. He better bring his F-game with him (none of that A-game crap. I actually want to win).

Relax: This Is Only A Test.

That's what I kept telling myself as the innings went on, and the Sox failed to string together hits. It's now been just about 49 innings since the Red Sox have put up a crooked number (Thanks to the fine research done over at Joy of Sox). 49 innings scoring only 1 run or fewer (that would be no runs for those of you not paying attention). We've lost 5 in a row. The Sox look like a little league team.

This is only a test.

Remember that when Brad Penny goes 5 innings tonight. It is only a test. When Papelbon loads the bases with no outs, it's only a test. When 'Tek strikes out swinging on a ridiculous pitch that he shouldn't have been swinging at? Only a test. When Jacoby swings at the first pitch and pops it up into the outfield? Only a test. When JD Drew stares at strike three for what feels like the 85th goddamned time in a row and you just want to scream "SWING THE F&*%ING BAT, YOU STUPID ASS! YOU'RE NOT GETTING PAID TO BE A F*&%ING MANNEQUIN!"... even this is only a test. A test of what, you ask. You know what, I reply.

Faith.

So keep it. And let's will a win out of Penny tomorrow.

Me: Not Taking an All Star Break Like Those Lazy Players

Nope. No break for me. While the players are out cavorting and gallavanting and doing absolutely nothing of value, I am taking the break as an opportunity to update this here blog. I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been a tad... bad with the whole updating process. Once technology has advanced to the point where my thoughts are transmitted directly into my blog, therefore saving me hours worth of typing, I will update my frequently. Then again, with the random thoughts in my head all the time, that might be a horrible idea. OK, so technology or no, I'm pretty much going to continue to be lazy as long as you promise to stay out of the brainmeats.

Despite the entire first paragraph, this post is not about me. It is about something I enjoy tremedously (not Cheez-Its either, although I am currently enjoying those tremendously). No, this post is about Josh. Because I don't know if you're aware of this, kind readers, but Josh? He kicked some serious butt the other day. Yes, two days ago. I am two days late with this post. 9 innings, folks. Nine gorgeously stupid innings. Less than 100 pitches!... 94 to be exact, and only three hits. He didn't walk a single batter, but that's not surprising given how low that pitch count was. I hope our other starters were paying attention. THAT is how you're supposed to pitch to bad teams. None of this 'putting it in the hands of the bullpen' crap. Be efficient. Throw strikes. Swear a little. Be Josh Beckett.

Watching Josh pitch during odd years is fun. I adore Jon, but Josh is my favorite to watch. He is just beyond awesome. I love angry Beckett, but arrogant, self-assured Beckett is pretty fun, too. When he knows he's got the stuff to get anyone out, and he does, it's a joy to watch. There's paint, and cheese, and the cheese has hair, and sometimes it's right down Broadway, and sometimes it's not, but you GOTTA HAVE IT! You gotta have those corners!... ok, sorry for that moment of Ecksclamations. I got carried away....

Sox fans in general are pretty lucky these days, and we've got very little to complain about. Our pitching depth is incredible. Our homegrown talent has been making it to All-Star games in their first few big league years. We've got a great ballpark. I don't care what anyone says, there is something magical about walking up the ramp and seeing the green monster out in left field. Every year, my first game of the season, it gives me goosebumps. I truly love that old park, flaws and all. I love this team, even if I do forget that sometimes.

Beckett may not be homegrown talent, but we had to give up some damn good home grown talent to get him, and I think it was worth it. I wouldn't reverse that trade. Sure, it'd be nice to have Hanley, but we got the (should-be) 2007 Cy Young winner and the 2007 World Series MVP out of the deal. With Mikey making his return on Friday, the Marlin-twins will be reunited again for another post-season run. Actually... Penny was a Marlin. We already have the Marlin-twins. With Mikey, it will be the Marlin-triplets. We'll be unstoppable in the post season! Where the hell is the smell of toast coming from?! We don't have a toaster up here... sorry, easily distracted.

I don't know if people have noticed, but CRW is up to 40 SB's. Assuming that he doesn't go through another month long stretch without swiping a bag, he is on pace to finish with 80. Ok, that's a lie, and completely 100% made up. I didn't feel like calculating out his projected pace, so we're just going to assume that it's 80. I am happy with that number, and we're keeping it. I just hope little Jacoby lives up to my expectations.

Into the All-Star break with a 3 game lead over the Yankees. Sweet. Though, don't be surprised when we get stuck facing Halladay. But... um... Halladay's not so tough. Right? ..... yeah.

I'm sure you'll hear from me again soon. I've got more to update.

Brad Penny: Way More Than I Expected

Perhaps it's not fair. Perhaps it's even downright mean of me, but truth be told, whenever I hear Brad Penny is pitching, I cringe. Just a little. Barely a cringe, really, because I try to be a good Sox fan and be supportive. He just fails to impress me usually. Last night was not the case. Last night, he was a super shiny Penny. He was the kind of Penny where, if you're walking down the street and you spot it just lying there, glimmering in the sun you just have to run over and pick it up. And it becomes the bright spot in your day. He glistened, and it wasn't just because of the rain. Six innings, six hits, no runs. Really, can you ask for anything more from the number five guy in your rotation? His ERA is even down below 5.5!

Delcarmen, on the other hand, didn't enjoy his night nearly as much. 3 runs in 2/3rds of an inning brings his ERA up to 2.08. I don't care what anyone says about ERA. Especially in June, I still feel it's a good indicator of how someone is pitching. The thing is that it was a rare game for Manny, to be sure. He's been good this year. I don't expect a repeat performance any time soon. Saito turned in a stellar performance, saving Manny from any more trouble. Nine pitches for Paps? Awesome.

And how about that Papi, huh? Almost looks like he's finally charged his batteries and is at full power. Shame that he probably won't be playing in Philly this weekend, because he could really use the momentum.

Is there any doubt that Munchkin and Captain Planet pretty much gave us the win in the last two innings? Yeah, didn't think so.

Beating the Yankees is fun. Beating them 8 times to open the season is very fun. Keeping a win streak alive is even better, so... yeah. Keep it up, Sox.

I really want to write more... I do.... I'm just so damned tired from a long week and a lot of rain. I can't make it through the rest of today. Why do we not have nap time at work?!

Big Papi: Justifying The Love

He did it. The monkey's off his back. Swing and a drive, deep to center field... and it's gone! David Ortiz has gone yard, to the deepest part of the ballpark no less. I couldn't be happier for Papi. He really did look like that 800 lb. elephant was off his back. That damn thing had been weighing him down. It was just great to see him smile. It was even better to see him hit a double high off the wall in his next at bat. Perhaps the confidence is back?

Everyone at Fenway had been really supportive of him, and it makes you proud to be a Red Sox fan when it comes to stuff like this. He got just as much support as we could give him, and then some. I like to believe that it actually made a difference for him. He said it did, but I don't want to give too much credit to the fans at the expense of Papi. Today feels like the beginning of the season all over again.

I also need to give major love to the Captain. As NESN showed last night, Tek does tend to like hitting on May 20th. 9 home runs in the last nine years. I wonder what it is about May 20th that gets him all amped up? But two home runs from Tek is all I need to be a happy girl. Doesn't he have like, seven on the season already? Amazing. Last year, my darling captain had a lot to deal with, and his personal life obviously got in the way of his game. Not to say that he isn't declining, because he is, but it's nice to see him put a good swing on a ball every now and then.

Even more love to Jacoby for tying a record that he really had zero control over. His 12 put-outs in the game tie the major league record and break the Red Sox record of 11 that had been held by the likes of Ted Williams. Jacoby didn't have a say in which balls were hit in his direction, so this isn't (in my mind) that big of a deal. It's just kind of a cool trivia fact to know.

Love abounds today, and now it's JayBay's turn. Talk about trying to show up the rest of the guys on the team, Jason hit it clean out of the park. Unassuming Canadian. Hmph! Yeah right. The man is devious. I love it.

And now, of course, Michael Averett Lowell. The double play had me screaming out vulgarities, but the home run made up for it. Admit it. You completely forgot he had hit into a double play after the home run. Just for the record, he's up to 12 now. The record for double plays in a single season, as NESN also informed me last night, is held by none other than our HOF inductee Jim Ed Rice. He had 36. Let's hope Mikey doesn't get around to breaking that one...

Credit must also be given to Penny. Yeah, it may look ugly while he's doing it, but as long as the results are good, I'm cool with it. I guess. He's gotten a lot of flak from me for being frightening, but c'mon... he's no worse than some of our OTHER starters have been.

We get Binky today and Dice on Friday. So Beckett is now, what, the number three starter? Or is he still the number one, and Timmy is our number two... ok, I'm just gonna stop this here because I'm going to get confused. If Johnny doesn't want to be considered the worst starter on this team, he better plan on having a clean outing tomorrow. I know it will be hard, because the Blue Jays like to punish him, but we're gonna keep hoping. Ok? Ok. Awesome.

And just for the record, I'm thoroughly enjoying Eck's love of cheese. High cheese, educated cheese, cheese of a higher temperature? It's all good.

Wakefield: Getting It Done Again

With my apologies to Joshua Beckett, who pitched wonderfully the other day and still, apparently, did not deserve a blog post...



I couldn't have asked for a better game. Well, I could have, but I don't want to seem greedy. I got my first official Ducky-at-Fenway sighting for the season, and my feathered friend even managed a home run. That, of course, was the only run the Jays would score on the night.



I am slightly disturbed at the way we've been scoring runs in patterns. The last two games, we've scored two runs in each. From the 10th through the 15th, we scored four runs. No more, no less. That's four runs for each starter once. Only twice it was enough to get a win. Twice, we lost 4-5. The two wins went to Joshua and Fetus. Does this pattern mean we will only score 2 runs tonight? I hope not. I'd really like to see them put up a bigger fight, but the guy we're going against tonight has been good thus far this season. Hey, everyone has bad days, right?



Youkilis should be activated before today's game. I need to remind myself that he's coming back from injury so his timing might not be there. I have to temper my expectations. I think I've got them tempered. We'll see.



A lot has been made about Papi's struggles at the plate. I think each time he's reminded how long it's been since he's hit a home run, that's another day that the pressure of not having a home run is going to mess with him. Stop reminding him, media. And good job, people at Fenway last night. That's the kind of love and support our big man needs in this really, really rough stretch for him.



Actually, I'd prefer to look at Mike Lowell's struggles at the plate. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "But hey... Lowell HAS home runs, and his batting average is a respectable .289. That's what you're thinking, right? Well, he's grounded into 11 double plays so far this season. The most he's ever had in a season is 22. Right now, he's on pace for about 35. Do I think that Mikey will hit into 35 DP's this year? God I hope not. It's possible, but I hope not. In the last 7 days, Mike is batting .211. Yes, .211. But it always feels like there's a big hit in there, doesn't it?



My point is this. Guys go through their struggles. Doesn't mean that you stop believing in them. I really, truly, wholeheartedly liked to see that reaction from the fans last night for David Ortiz. The guy needs all the love we can give him. If we can support Mikey through his struggles, we can definitely support Papi. Positive vibes, happy thoughts, and plenty of clapping kept tinker bell alive and she was just a tiny little fairy. Papi needs the same stuff, just in much higher doses. So get to clapping, folks! And just as a disclaimer, I only used Mikey Lowell because I adore him and I want to show that you can criticize even the guys you adore, and still love them.



Penny tonight. I don't know whether to shield my eyes or pull up a chair. We'll see.

Bullpen Band: Too Exhausted For Encores

Our bullpen is getting absolutely slammed by our starters' inability to go more than a few innings. Commander and Binky have been the worst culprits. Penny is next on the list. Wakey and Fetus had the unfortunate timing of having their shorter outings happen the two nights following our aces' terrible performances. I can't rip on Wakey and Fetus, because they have overall pitched their share of innings.

Well, it's time for the guys at the top of our order to go further into a game than five innings. Five innings is not enough. Manny Delcarmen looks injured. Hunter Jones, Ramon Ramirez, Hideki Okajima, and all the other pen guys have been pitching every night it seems. They need a break. We need a complete game, or at least seven innings, out of Jon tonight. He hasn't put it together yet, so I'm skeptical that he'll actually give us what we need, but I can hope.

Joshua tomorrow is another matter altogether. Don't even get me started.

No, I'm not yet concerned about David Ortiz. Yes, he looks terrible at the plate, and you can throw him just about anything and he'll swing at it. But that's what happens when a good hitter is going through a tough stretch. It seems like everything gets them out. I believe that he can turn it around, home runs or no home runs. Big Papi is still Big Papi. No more sillliness out of the media, please. (Yeah, like that's going to happen)

Why don't we rip on Julio Lugo instead? The team was going so well until he came back. Yesterday, he was 0-4. There were two plays he didn't make that I have NO idea how he didn't get errors for. Ok, well the first one, I have an idea. You can't assume a double play... ever. He got one out. It went as a force out, so I can see why he didn't get the error. The second play... that terrible throw to Youk, THAT should have been an error. His two misplays caused two runs to happen, but because they weren't charges as errors, they became earned runs. Bastard! We, uh, lost by two runs in case someone wasn't keeping track.

Saturday's game, Captain Planet played, and we won.
Friday's game, Lugo played, went 1-4, and we lost.
Thursday's game, Lugo played, got no hits, and we had a damn near perfect game thrown against us.
Wednesday's game, Captain Planet played, and we won.
Tuesday's game, Lugo played, went 2-3, made an error, and we lost.

I know it's super convenient for me to blame the last four losses on POS's return because it's wll documented that I don't like him. I never will. But come on... we were on an 11-game win streak, and all of a sudden, the old, useless SS comes back, and we go 3-4 in two series? Yes, it's perfectly logical of me to completely discount the fact that when we're on the road, this team looks like a bunch of kids who have never played baseball before. That's irrelevant. I blame POS. The more he plays, the more we lose.

When does the team return to Fenway? I could really go for some wins. I guess it could have been worse. We won the first series, and we didn't get swept in the second one. I should be more optimistic. So, I'm going to try to force ten positive things to carry over into tonight's game... here we go.

1) Penny pitched very well. That actually falls under the category of 'quality start' doesn't it? 3 ER in 6 IP? I think it does!
2) Rambo has still not allowed a run to score.
3) We only left seven men on base.
4) Munchkin was not caught stealing.
5) Drew had 3 hits.
6) Papi had one walk and no strike outs. So while he's not making GOOD contact, he's still making contact.
7) Buck Martinez was not announcing the game, and we didn't have to listen to him constantly mispronouncing "OR-tiz"... does he pronounce his own last name as "MAR-tinez"? Come on now... someone could have at least told him he was saying it wrong. That's just embarassing.
8) Kevin Youkilis is still batting over .400, and is hitting for power.
9) The Yankees don't run as well as Tampa Bay... and we have a lefty with a good pickoff move on the mound tonight.
10) We get until Friday before we have to face TB again.

Think positively everyone. They'll be ok

Brad Penny: I Think Bowden's knocking at your Locker

My favorite phrase during the tail end of the Coco years was "Jacoby's knocking at your locker." Well, I feel that the phrase (minus the Jacoby part) still has some life in it. I've never really liked Penny. I didn't like him when we first picked him up. I didn't like him out in LA, but I thought... ok, it's a low-risk move. I can deal with it.

Despite my ability to deal with it, I'm not really sure I want to.

Let's consider... Penny has made four starts for us. Despite the fact that he's 2-0, he has an 8.66 ERA, has pitched only 17.2 innings (averaging right around 4.1 per start), has given up 24 hits (17 ER), 5 HR and 11 BB. Opponents are batting 3.20 against him. He ranks 375th ERA across all of major league baseball... and while I'll admit that these stats aren't the be all, end all of stats, it makes you think (Dice-K, for the record, ranks 407th with a 12.79 ERA). Last night's other starter, Anthony Reyes, is higher on the list than Penny. Now let's compare!

Michael Bowden, who would be starting on just about every other team, is sporting a handy 0.64 ERA in three starts and 14.00 IP (averaging 4.2 per start). 10 H, 1 ER, 5 BB, and 15 K. Averaging about the same IP as Penny per outing, but seemingly knows how to throw a baseball better. And don't forget, we already saw him this year, and he looked good. Not Bowden? You don't want to rush him too much? Ok, that's cool.

Try this instead. Clay Buchholz... 2.45 ERA, 3 GS, 14.2 IP, 9 H, 5 R, 4 ER, 1 HR, 7 BB, 12 K's. He's got the major league experience, and it won't be considering rushing if you bring him back now. Plus, Dahmer deserves another chance to prove that last year was just a little flukey. Still no? Ok...

How about Enrique Gonzalez? Charlie Zink? Junichi Tazawa? Christopher Walken?! Come on, any of these guys could throw more strikes than Penny. I honestly would rather see the job go to one of our itty bitty baby Sox. I guess we can always wait until Smoltz is ready to go.

Honestly, though, if our number 5 starter being ineffective, and our closer allowing a few runs are our biggest problems, we're ok.

Actually, I wanted to comment on Papelbon. I would, uh, really appreciate slightly less drama, but I can live with it. If we have a three run lead, and he gives up one run, that's ok. Don't get me wrong. I worry about the long-term implications of his extra work, but I'm not really panicked yet.

Double plays are also part of our biggest problem. We actually rank 2nd in double plays behind the Seattle Mariners. We have 22, they have 23. The Tigers and the Dodgers are tied for second with us with 22. Toronto has grounded into 21, So the top five are relatively close. Six teams have grounded into 18 DP's. Two have 17, four have 16, one has 15. The Arizona Diamondbacks have the fewest DP's... they've only grounded into 8. That... that is what we need to strive to achieve. 8 DP's in a month is very very tolerable. We tend to get more like 8 per series, which just hurts me emotionally. While we have not grounded into the most DPs in the league, we're not too far off. We need to stop this. I don't know how to stop it, but I'll continue pondering this issue and hopefully get back to it with a solution. It's gotta be something along the lines of stop swinging at bad pitches, but I just can't be sure...

Tough loss last night, providing further evidence of why I don't like Javier Lopez (and you can't make me!), but we've got Binky on the mound tonight, ready to start a new win streak.

JayBay: Being All Dramatic In The Late Innings

What is it about the 9th inning that turns JayBay into the Papi of 2006? Does he start sitting closer to him in the 8th inning unconsciously? Does he have mango salsa between innings? Does he walk around the dugout, pre-9th, mumbling quietly to himself "...and that's why they call ME Big Papi"? Honestly now, can you even picture JayBay calling himself Big Papi? Even just the thought of that makes me feel uncomfortable. It doesn't seem like something he would do. Whatever it is that he's doing to lead up to the 9th, I pray to the gods of baseball that he keeps doing it.

Kerry Wood doesn't have the same reputation as Mariano Rivera, but JayBay made sure that they got the same results when they faced him. That right there is drama. Waiting until the 9th inning, waiting until your entire team looks exhausted beyond belief and can no longer put effort into baseball, to hit a game winning home run (or a game tying one, but we're talking about last night's game, not Friday night's game). The fun thing about JayBay is that we haven't had him long enough to get a complete feel for who he is as a player. There are scouting reports, and the last few months of the '08 season, but you really need to watch a guy for an entire season to know how they're going to respond to the pressure of Boston. I think that the pressure is making Jason shine. I really do hope he keeps it up. He's very talented, and I'd like to see him kept around for a while.

So, yesterday morning I started receiving angry text messages from friends bitching about Nick Green being benched for Julio Lugo, which of course did not happen yesterday, as if these people did not know that Lugo was going to be activated LONG before he was actually activated. My stance is this... we just got through with Earth Day, and there's been a big push (presumably globally) to "Go Green." Hey, if Green is good enough for the Earth, he's good enough for Red Sox Nation, right? I don't hear any countries, never mind planets, pushing for us to "Go Lugo." They might be pushing, but then again "Lugo" could very well mean something different in Scandinavian than it does in English. Maybe in Scandanavia, a Lugo is something that gets on base and fields well. Unfortunately, that's not how it works here. So work towards saving the planet and just stay Green (even if he does clash with the uniforms!)


I know, the job is actually Lugo's to lose, because Theo, for some reason, seems to be in love with him. Whatever. He'll lose it on his own merits. I truly believe that he will. Remember, when Green makes a bad play on the field, he gets a hit or two to make up for it. Can we say the same about certain POS's? No.

I would be hard pressed to write a long-winded post about last night's game without dedicating at least some space to the incredible pitching of Timothy last night. 1 hit in 7 innings? Tim was rolling... so were his knucklers... behind/in front of George Kottaras. Every time a Wakefield catcher misses a ball, I reactionarily burst out with 'Dougie would have had that.' I'm hoping one day that I can stop doing that. Perhaps before Wake retires...?

Anyhow, congratulations to Mikey, the AL Player of the Week. Even with that bad hip, he managed to leg out a triple yesterday, even if he was stranded at 3rd. It's ok. We still won. Way to go, Mikey!

(insert cheesy 'Penny' pun here)... so let's go for the full dozen tonight and hopefully take solo hold of the AL East.

Excitement and W's: Pitching Wins at Fenway This Weekend

Aside from Penny's botched attempt at being fantastic, was this weekend not great from a pitching perspective?

Our bullpen on Friday night was incredible. Penny gave up 8 runs in 3 innings, and our bullpen shut them down after that. I think it was Strike Out King that allowed the inherited run to score, but other than that, nothing. Silence from the O's bats... giving our Sox the opportunity to stage a comeback. They tacked 10 runs on the board, and ended up winning a game that we looked completely out of early. Brad Penny is not allowed to pitch home games any more.

Jeremy Guthrie shouldn't be given big leads at Fenway, because he cannot win with big leads. If memory serves me, I've seen him win games with smaller leads, but those games that look like W's for the O's... they usually turn into memorable wins for us. I don't know what it is about having a large lead. Guthrie can't handle it.

Either way, doubles for Munchkin and Green, a triple for JD, home runs for Kazerud and JD. 12 H and 9 BB's... luckily, I didn't give up on this one. It looked bad early, but I had a pinched nerve in my neck, so I wasn't going anywhere anyway. Glad I stuck it out.

Saturday night, with Commander on the mound, I felt good. He looked good, until the 5th inning, but still managed to come away with the win. The thing about Joshua is that he almost always has one inning where he seems to fall apart. I'd say it happens 90% of the time. Granted, he doesn't always fall apart completely... sometimes damage is limited to one or two runs, but he falls apart. It's usually the 3rd or the 6th inning, so when he fell apart in the 5th, I was shocked and appalled. That Josh... always switching it up on me. Just when I think I know the guy. He still managed to go 6, and his ERA is still a respectable 3.79. No, it's not a GREAT ERA, but show me one guy in our starting rotation that has a great ERA right now (besides Wakey and his magical 3.00 ERA), and I'll call you a magician. That sort of thing is going to happen slowly. Still, I love watching Josh pitch.

Oki, Saito and Paps pitched one clean inning apiece, and all of them looked good.
Offense on the night was, again, excellent. Doubles from Youk, Tek, Drew, and Mikey. A home run from Youk, and a stolen base from Kazerud. 12 H and 5 BB... granted, we left a collective 20 guys on base, but I care about that so much less in games that we win. When we lose a game, I'll go right back to complaining about it.

I can't remember which game it was that Youk got hit in the head. I think it was Friday's game... but that right there was a scary moment. Even when I don't necessarily like a guy, I never EVER want to see anyone get hit in the head. Thank goodness he was A-OK. I also had a moment of schadenfreude when I saw the score from the Yankees game... but I won't repeat it here, because that's just not polite. Tee hee...

Then, there was Sunday, and we had Binky back on the mound. I felt so good about this game, I was nearly giddy to watch it. Ok, I WAS giddy to watch it. As much as I love Joshua, that's how much I love Jon. And believe me when I say it, I love the two of them dearly. I always think we're going to win when they're on the mound. Johnny gave the best pitching performance of the weekend. It's only right to save the best for last. 7 IP, 4H, 0 ER. He was excellent. I couldn't have asked for a better start. I know, I know... it's just the Orioles, and he still has a 5.50 ERA, but he's trying. He'll be ok. He'll win games against teams that can actually go somewhere.

Not for nothing, but how good has Ramon Ramirez been so far?

We only eked out 2 runs in this one... Munckin and Mr. Awesome gathered up the RBI's.... and Saito allowed a run in the 9th, but this was a good, exciting game.

Can't ask for much more than that during an entire weekend, can you?

Report for Training, My Pitching and Catching Friends

Today is absolutely perfect. It's a beautiful, spring like day here in Natick... 50 whole degrees! I've even seen the sun on occassion... in particular, driving into work this morning, it was bright orange the whole way.

I go outside and I don't freeze. While I know this is temporary and the bad weather will be back, it's exactly what I needed after being stuck home with a cold the last few days. There's some hope that spring is coming back.

To top it all off, the boys are in Florida! Not all of them, for sure, but the important ones. The pitchers. The catchers. The keepers of the game's tempo. The pacemakers at the heart of the game! And the Commander even looks like he worked out this off-season (as opposed to Mr. Penny who looks like he sat around eating double cheeseburgers all winter.) These opinions are based directly from the early pictures I saw from the Globe... or the Herald. I think it was the Globe. Oh, what does it matter? It'e reporting day! (Ps... it was the Globe, and the pictures I saw were from Dirt Dogs)

Wakefield feels fine, Beckett looks fantastic (judging by his physique. I have no idea how the ball is coming out of his hand yet. No video feed here)... Papi says he's feeling super, Jason Varitek and Kevin Millar have jobs, and the world just seems like a beautiful place today. Baseball is in the air.

Just two more weeks until the beginning of meaningless exhibition games. I can't wait!

On another note, Tito is apparently taking a little bit of issue with what Julianna Ramirez is saying about Jack McCormick. I sort of want this just to go away peacefully, but I have a feeling it's just the beginning. We all know Manny doesn't like being upstaged by anyone. People were talking about Slappy, so Manny finds a way to get his face back on the papers. I do love the guy. I just have to remind myself of that every once in a while.

Truck Day: It's My Favorite Day

It's not, really, but the whole idea of it finally being here makes me happy.

I was so preoccupied by scooping up more Sox tickets last night that I forgot to buy my Slipknot tickets, and now the show is sold out. Oh well, guess I'll miss out. I've seen them plenty of times though. They generally sing the same things. The charm of baseball games is that you never know who will end up pitching. It's awesome, really. I wonder if I could calculate my starting pitchers yet. That's one of my favorite games... predicting the pitcher, even though it only works out about 20% of the time (changes due to rainouts, postponements, injuries, ect obviously can't be calculated perfectly in advance).

Assuming that the rotation is Commander, Binky, Daisuke, Timothy, and Penny/Smoltz, and assuming that Commander starts the home opener, my hopeful starting pitchers will go like this:

-April 8 - Binky
-April 21 - Wakefield
-June 19 - Binky
-July 4 - Penny/Smoltz
-August 1 - Daisuke
-Sept 4 - Wakefield
-Sept 13 - Binky

So, I'm on track to see my boy Johnny 3 times, and Timothy twice. I need to start planning now to catch a Beckett start. I'm not going a whole season without seeing Beckett again. Not happening. Of course, this is all just speculation. Josh might not be the home opening pitcher (though I really can't imagine that our ace wouldn't be...) and then my entire schedule will get thrown off. It's fun and exciting, though, to try to figure out who I will see. I'm hoping to pick up a few more tix over the course of the season. Hell, I might even wait outside of Fenway one day if I know Josh is pitching. I WILL see Josh pitch this year. Live. In Person. It will happen, and he damn well better win. It's an odd year. But, I seem to have a nice mix of pitchers already.

But yeah! Truck day! Spring training! I'm excited.