Things: Lots of Things

To say everything has been a whirlwind in the last week is, for me, an understatement.

Since last Thursday, I got to attend the awesome birthday bash at Fenway. There is absolutely no way Millar and Pedro were sober while doing that toast. My favorite line from the toast? "This is getting awkward now, stop looking at me!" - Millar

Sunday, I went apartment hunting, and found an apartment that I loved. Wednesday I got the application approval for said apartment, and last night, I begun packing for my move next Saturday. It's been a lot. I'm a little upside down right now.

But that has nothing to do with sports! And I realized that my poor little blog has been very, very neglected. Let's face it, the past weekend didn't really give me a whole hell of a lot to talk about anyway, unless I wanted to include the phrase 'collapse' (which I didn't), so it was fine not to blog. But this week? Man, they've been pretty spiffy this week, haven't they? They've turned their spiff-dial to 11. Did you know the Sox have a spiff-dial? Well, they do. And it's at 11.

Last night for example... the Sox face the reigning King of the World, Phil Humber. They slapped him around, but good. Who slapped the hardest, you may ask? Salty. That's right, Sodium actually hit two home runs in last night's game! And Asshat? He hit a grand slam! I know, I wouldn't believe me either if I hadn't seen it. He also made some nice plays at third yesterday. Despite Ross being out with a knee injury and Munchkin looking like he was trying to take out his own knee, the Sox came away from this one with a 10-3 win. Doubront was lovely. Tazawa got a save. Trust me, it was fantastic.

Last night not good for you? Wednesday's game wasn't as spiffy (the dial was only set to 5), but it was a win. Dahmer struggled, letting up five runs on ten hits in five innings.... granted, two of those runs were inherited runners that Atch let score, but let's not get bogged down by the details. It should have been a calm game, but it turned into a nail biter. Just one more reminder that the bullpen struggles! Despite the struggles, they did win 7-6 to complete the sweep of the Twins.

I know, you're thinking that wasn't awesome. How about the awesome 11-2 win behind Beckett on Tuesday? The Sox had 18 hits, four of which were from Calviles. Two home runs - Calves and Papi. Doubles from everyone and their grandmother. Twins starter Nick Blackburn only lasted three innings. Granted, Beckett only went six, but he earned that win.

Monday's 6-5 win? On a night where Jon Lester looked like pure crap, the bullpen actually stepped up and secured a win! Morales, Bard, and Sauce combined for two innings of work and... AND they didn't allow a run. It's progress, people! Cody Ross had two home runs! TWO!

So, I think I'll try to get my 100th anniversary pictures up at some point this weekend, because I don't know how much time I'll have next week to post. Although I am disappointed for the Bruins (I still think they did great, they just need work on their power play.... badly), I am happy that my team has had four good games in a row. We needed it. Now we're only 2 games away from .500! Good luck tonight, Daniel Bard.

On a side note, did the White Sox really have Bobby Jenks and John Danks on the same team? Is this hilarious to anyone else? Do you think they'll want Jenks back?

Friday With Tito: Francona Changes His Mind

I woke up this morning to the news that Tito has changed his mind about Friday.

Seriously? It literally warmed my heart. It eliminated my need for a warm beverage. I felt fuzzy all over. When I first found out that he wasn't going to be there, I was sad. I don't want to go as far as saying I was devastated, but probably more than sad. Something about Tito not being there seemed to make it a little less joyous.

I'm glad he's changed his mind and I can't wait to give him the raucous ovation he deserves.

I don't care what his motivation. I don't care if Kevin Millar was holding him at gunpoint, forcing him to make the announcement that he was coming. I don't care if he's only going to show up to give the middle finger to the management (imagine the ovation that THAT would receive!), all that matters is that he'll be in house.

How many people will be holding up those cans of Welch's juice, toasting to all Tito's done for the Sox? I think I'll be one of those people. I'm happy.

I won't be happy with the next post, but right now, I'm happy.

Red Sox: The Musical

No one really wants me to rehash that 18-3 beatdown, do you? Well, too bad if you do because I don't want to.

Instead, I want to talk about a little project Lauren (from toosoxy.wordpress.com) and I spent the majority of the game discussing.... Red Sox: The Musical!

Picture this... Scene One: Terry Francona asleep at his desk deep within the heart of Fenway Park. The sun rises, Tito wakes up with a big stretch. Music starts playing in the background. Tito brews himself a comically large sized cup of Bigelow green tea and starts in on the song "My Way's The Best Way," an upbeat tune about how the Red Sox will never need another manager. During the song, he alternates between sipping the tea and ripping up pictures of other major league managers he conveniently has sitting on his desk as he declares "My way's the best way for Fenway!" From the doorway, Larry Lucchino is seen watching with his arms folded. Before the song ends, he disappears.

Our hero of the musical, Jason Varitek, enters Tito's office to discuss the lineup for the night. He is informed that due to some struggling at the plate, he's going to be resting for the game later that night and Salty will be catching instead. Tek and Tito start in on a duet titled, "I've Got So Much More To Give."

Scene Two: The locker room after the game. The team has lost and everyone looks miserable. Kevin Millar and Dustin Pedroia lead the song "Cowboy Up," a motivational song that teaches that you CAN have fun playing baseball. Jed Lowrie stands up to try to have fun, injures himself and is traded to Houston before the end of the song. In the spirit of fun, Lackey, Lester, and Beckett sing a quick version of "Hell Yeah, I Like Beer." At the end of the number, Lucchino comes in and informs our favorite team that he's hired Mike Timlin as bullpen coach and has given him a crossbow to keep our pitchers in line. Julio Lugo arrived and he is bludgeoned by the chorus girls (IE - Lauren and myself... and my best friend, Amy, who has been waiting for another chance to pummel Lugo).

Kevin Youkilis sings a basebally version of the old Alice Cooper classic 'Vengeance Is Mine.' He rips out all of his luxuriously flowing hair in anger after striking out six times against the Kansas City Royals. At the end of his song, Lauren gets to appear and they duet a song titled "Love Despite the Rage." Cut to outside on the field at Fenway at night, under a full moon. Salty is sitting alone in the dugout. He too has been struggling at the plate. The catching corps is a mess. He sings the sorrowful tune "Thirty Three" in which he laments the fact that he'll never be like thirty three, despite all the tutelage Jason has provided to him.

I don't really know what else happens in the middle here. I didn't plan that far ahead.

Cut to the second to last scene of the play. It's game 7 of the World Series. John Lackey is the pitcher on the mound (I know, so unlikely but bear with me), and he unsurprisingly surrenders the go-ahead run in the six inning. With a score of 12-11 in favor of the opposing team, the Phillies, the Sox come up to bat. Quickly, we load the bases with two outs. Salty is scheduled to bat, but while walking to the plate, he is tackled by a  runaway Philly mascot and sprains his wrist. Tek is told to go up to bat. He stands at the plate feeling unprepared. The Philly pitcher needs to tie his shoe, so Tek takes the opportunity to look to the sky and ask for guidance. JD Drew's face appears in the clouds (think Mufasa from the Lion King). Jason asks him for advice. Drew announces he's going on the DL.  At that moment, Jason realizes that he's always had the strength inside him. Cue "I've Got So Much More to Give (reprise)." Jason somehow hits a grand slam.

In the dugout, John Lackey sees what just has happened. He sings, "I'll Do The Right Thing" with everyone sitting in the dugout as his backup chorus. He intentionally makes this crazy jerky motion and tears a hamstring. As he writhes in pain, the dugout chorus sways and sings, "We're gonna do the right thing, too! Oh, our fans are overdue!" The team goes out and plays flawless baseball and wins. They swarm the field, carrying all the injured players and sing all together, "Stronger Together," a song about team unity and the value of green tea. Antioxidants, you know.

In the last scene, Jason and Salty are sitting in the clubhouse on a bench talking about the win. Salty tears up, saying that he failed the team when they needed him most and starts singing "Thirty Three" again. Jason stops him and sings "Salty and Thirty Three," a song about how Salty may not ever be Jason, but if he believes in himself, he will carve out his own legacy.

I think that's the ending. Much happier story than last night's game, eh?

Everyone Says Goodbye: Baseball Folk React To Tek-tirement

Photo by Michael Ivins/Boston Red Sox

I loved reading all of the well-wishes from baseball players and operations personnel that have had the opportunity to work with, play with, or play against Jason Varitek over his career.

The Full Count blog at weei.com has a bunch of well-wishes, but these are my favorites:

“I want to congratulate Jason Varitek, a.k.a “Johnny Unitas fl at-top hair cut” on a remarkable career and mostly for being part of the fi rst World Series in 2004 with Sox Nation. It seems like yesterday we were in our hotel rooms on the road hitting with a pizza box going over our stances in our underwear during our struggles offensively. But above all, he’s a true professional, a true teammate and, best yet, an even better person. I wish him much success in the up and coming real world and we’ll see you soon with powder and an ear piece on TV.” – Kevin Millar, Red Sox teammate from 2003-05, current MLB Network analyst.

Count on Millar to say something that will give me nightmares. The image of him and Tek standing around in their underwear practicing hitting with a pizza box? Yeah, that's not burned into my vault of mental images. Thanks for that, Kevin.

”Jason Varitek will always have a prominent place in Red Sox history. He caught more games as a Red Sox and helped the team win their fi rst World Series in 86 years. I am happy for him and proud of his accomplishments. Congratulations Jason!” – Carlton Fisk, Hall of Fame catcher, Red Sox Hall of Famer, played with Boston from 1969-1980.

To me, I like seeing the enthusiasm in Carlton Fisk's praise of Tek. Not many other folks used an exclamation point. John Valentin was the only other person to exclaim his appreciation of Tek (and he did it twice). In all seriousness though, there's something extra special in Fisk's praise because he was the catcher that set the bar for Tek. Call me strange, but that's very cool to me.

Watching Tek's retirement speech was hard for me. I probably teared up as much as he did (I'm a little bit of a crybaby). Today I wear my Varitek jersey in honor of my favorite baseball player. Congratulations again, Tek. What else can I say? I'll miss you.

Summary: Anger

My parents always taught me if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. Assuming that same principle applies to blogging, you have your explanation for where I've been.

I'm stressed, panicked, annoyed, and every other adjective with negative connotations you could imagine right now. But I'm trying to be nice about it. Aside from my random outbursts of swearing and idle threats of self-harm (let's face it, I'm way too selfish to ever hurt myself over a baseball team), I have been fairly composed about this embarassment of a month.

But last night.... oh man, last night was my breaking point. I can't be nice. Joshua? Of all people, Joshua has to put on that PITIFUL excuse for a pitching performance? Do the Red Sox not know that we're facing the Orioles? Because the Orioles suck and the Red Sox should know that! What the bloody hell is going on here?! It's September of 2011, boys. Not April 2011. Not September 2006, Josh! There is supposed to be hellfire and brimstone and badassery, but there is none! Instead we have crybabies, and implosions, and pathetic excuses. In the words of the late Owen Hart, enough is enough and it's time for a change! Baseball isn't working for our baseball team, so how about some pro wrestling? I want to see Stone Cold Stunners from Scutaro to anyone who dares run by him. I want piledrivers at home plate to be delivered by Varitek BEFORE the opponents swing the bat. Someone hand Ernie a steel chair and let him swing away at anyone heading up the line. Clotheslines from Munchkin at second base to anyone trying to steal. Intentional HBP's from Beckett, who, damnit! He should be allowed to do a pre-game promo that would be shown up on the Jumbotron. It's a jumbotron now. I demand it. And if the bullpen guys aren't legdropping the opposite team's outfielders at the start of every inning, they aren't doing their job! On top of all that, I want Munchkin to bring a microphone with him for every at bat. The homeplate ump should be Mean Gene Okerlund or Jerry the King Lawler, and they should ask him before EVERY AT BAT what we should expect him to do. And if he doesn't answer something along the lines of "I'll be stylin' and profilin' all around the bases tonight, Mean Gene. Wooo!" then he should be fined.

If they aren't going to play the game the right way, they should at least make it fun for me. Tag-team at-bats! When Ortiz gets tired of fouling off pitches, he can tag in Millar to do it for him! It's not like Kevin doesn't hang out at games anyway, and it would be a great plotline. Besides, we KNOW Kevin can foul off pitches like nobody's business. Then, when Papi is ready, he can tag back in. If we aren't going to get winning, then I want entertainment. Get on it, Tito. Immediately!

Oh, and Go Sox.

Sox Score Seven: Not The Red Ones, Though

Ew. That's my only reaction to last night's game. I guess the boys didn't enjoy being lonely at the top, and now we've let the Yankees right back into our little first place party. I don't like sharing. I don't want the Yankees and their icky fans listening to our music and drinking our beer. Stop drinking our beer, you jerks!

Kidding, I don't drink beer. I swear though, if they try to touch my rum, someone is losing a hand. Hear that, Jeter? I will rip your hands off if you touch my rum. I'd say that losing a hand would decrease your range and thereby your chances of winning another gold glove.... but I'm not so sure your range COULD get worse. And we all know you're going to win it whether you make any plays or not. Life is unjust.

So... Jon Lester. What's up, my friend? What's gotten into you lately? May, uh.... May wasn't so good to you this year, you know? Walks were up, hits were up, location was off. Any reason in particular? I don't know what's going on, but I think after allowing seven runs to the White Sox, you might want to look at some film or whatever it is that you pitchers do. Make adjustments. Locate your pitches. Do your thing, ok? I like that you acknowledged that you stunk, but now it's time to stop stinking. Let's make June better!

Pedroia was my favorite player of the game. With runners on second and third, Munchkin came up to bat and I nicely asked him to get those two runs in. He did exactly what I asked, and I definitely like when players listen to me. Unfortunately, the rest of the team didn't listen to me, and that's why we are where we are. Just sayin'... I sort of know what I'm talking about. Helpful suggestions such as "score runs" or "stop sucking" are completely for the good of the team. I have your best interests at heart, guys!

The sting was taken away a little by watching "Four Nights In October." I can say without exaggeration that I've watched it no less than twenty times. It ALWAYS makes my day better and I ALWAYS get goosebumps when Dave Roberts goes sliding into second. Favorite team ever, without question. Just seeing most of those guys in uniform makes me smile. Oh Ducky, how I miss you!

On a side note... Daniel Bard and Rich Hill resurrecting the bullpen band? I don't think it will have the same magic as it used to, but the effort is so appreciated, guys. Keep on jamming out there! I knew all my recent talk about Timlin was bound to provide positive results. Yeah, I miss The Admiral, too. Guess I'm just feeling a bit nostalgic today.

Josh Beckett: The Pitcher Starting Tonight

I logged into Blogger with my mind completely set on writing a post about Beckett before his highly anticipated* first start of the season. I've been reading assorted articles on Josh all day and pouring over stats from every time he's ever thrown a baseball, and... you know what? I've got nothing to write. Well, nothing that hasn't already been written a hundred times. Beckett needs to be the savior. We're all depending on Beckett. How is Josh going to fare this season? What happened to the firebreathing Texan that we so happily cheered for in 2007? I don't know, and I have no new insight either. Short answers, of course, are injuries and location issues, neither of which I'm qualified to speak on. So there you go. I've got nothing on Josh. Still, however, I'm immensely excited about his debut tonight. Josh is the ONLY pitcher I get angry at for pitching well. If he strikes out the side on twelve pitches, I'm angry that it didn't take him nine. If he goes 8 scoreless, I think he should have gone 8 perfect. It's never good enough for me, but man, I sure enjoy it. Despite a few subpar years, I hold him to a pretty high standard. Why? I have no justification. I don't know, perhaps I like getting all riled up every five days, but watching Beckett pitch always brings the devil out of me, and I enjoy it. So while I love Jon Lester, I despise Josh Beckett in the best way possible. Trust me, I'm ridiculous to watch a Beckett game with. The only person more critical of Beckett is probably Josh himself. I know that doesn't come through in the blog, but I like to tidy up my affections for certain players when writing about them. Less confusing that way.

*I don't speak for anyone else, but I am highly anticipating it, and that's what counts.

So, that being said, I need to make sure it's clear that no matter how well or poorly he pitches, and no matter how annoyed I get with him, I still enjoy watching Beckett pitch. When he's good, there's nothing I love more than his fastball. When he's bad, at least I get to vent. I'm hoping for more good this year than bad, but ultimately, that falls on Josh. We'll see. If he fails tonight, he'll be in good company with the rest of the rotation (sans Dice-K), albeit he'll have fallen to a much worse team. Either way.... staying positive this year!

So what can I write about? I can write about how the Bruins ALSO lost to the Rangers... but I'm not much of a hockey fan. I can comment how utterly disappointed I am in Mike Vrabel, whom I once loved dearly, getting arrested for theft at a casino. I hope it is the misunderstanding that he says it is, and for now, I'm inclined to believe him because I want to.

I could comment on Ducky and his comments about Lou Piniella, but really, what could I say? Kevin is retired now, and so is Lou. It's mentionable only for the fact that I'm specifically looking for items to mention. There. I've done it. So really, I've got nothing. Sometimes (err... all the time), I just got to let myself ramble a little. Mission accomplished! Now, on to the game.

Dice-K Pitches 8: Somehow, It's Not April Fool's Day

I asked for a spark, and I got one. The team knows just what to do to drag me back into believing each and every time, don't they? I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem. As soon as I decide it's not worth believing in, they go ahead and have a game like yesterday (mind you, against the lowly Indians that we had NO right losing to in the first place), and I'm stuck. I have to believe. Even if they don't make the playoffs, even if we finish in fourth place, it won't matter as long as they show me that they haven't given up. Looks like they haven't quite done that yet. It's all I needed. I'm easy to please.... and really, I just love baseball so it's not like I could ever stop watching.

Adrian Beltre, the man who I blame for all the team's problems, hit a grand slam last night. The opposing pitcher whose name I do not remember and do not care to look up had a perfect game going until the 4th when Marco Scutaro singled, and then it all unraveled from there. Walks to Martinez and Drew loaded the bases, and Beltre crushed one into the monster. That was all we would need. Granted, when Papelbon came in to relieve Oki in the 9th with two on and one out and proceeded to walk the second batter he faced, I was thankful for those extra runs. With my limited faith in Papelbon, I was all but sure he was going to make it interesting and pilfer another win off a deserving team mate. Dice-K most definitely deserved that win. He went eight strong and only allowed one run on five hits and two walks, picking up six strikeouts along the way. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this is the first time for the season that Dice's ERA has been below four. Now if only we could get Oki even to five, I'd be happy. But really, I can't complain about last night's game. We needed it.

Drew tacked on two more runs with a bases-loaded single in the 8th, which wasn't necessary, but still very appreciated. It was a good win... probably because Kevin Cash didn't get to play. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want him on my team. On MY team, Doug Mirabelli is still the backup catcher. Then again, on my team, Trot is still in right and Kevin Millar is the first base coach, but THAT is why I'm not a GM.

This weekend's series could bring us right back into the playoff argument or wipe us out of it completely. Either way, I got the spark I was looking for, so I'm holding on to my little sliver of faith until the end of the season, no matter how it ends. New daddy Clay Buchholz (Congratulations to Clay and Lindsay on the birth of their daughter whose name I do not remember!) takes the mound at Yankee Stadium, hell bent on keeping us in this thing. We're 5.5 games out of playoff spot. There's still enough time. We can do this.

Bring on Javier Vasquez. We're ready.

(At least I think we are. Hey, trying to stay positive here!)

Kevin Millar: OURS!

Oh happy day!

NESN, New England’s most-watched sports network, announced on Thursday that former Red Sox first baseman and postseason hero, Kevin Millar, has joined NESN to serve as a Red Sox studio analyst for select games.

Millar will share time in the NESN studios with the network’s trio of Hall of Fame baseball analysts, Dennis Eckersley, Peter Gammons and Jim Rice.

Millar is back in town! And I will be at the game on the 28th... hopefully he'll be doing the pregame that day also. It would make my week to see Kevin live and in person again. Because Kevin's smile? It makes me happy. Welcome back to Boston, Ducky!

Kevin Millar: Semi-Retired

Well, looks like the cowboy caught on with another team. That was fast, and quite unexpected, considering his new job at MLBN.

Kevin Millar has signed with the St. Paul Saints, according to a press release from the team. Millar began his career with the Saints in '93 before the Marlins purchased his contract. He'll presumably still work for the MLB Network as an analyst this year.

Ah, my Ducky! I wish him nothing but the best, no matter what he ends up doing. But, man, do I miss seeing that goofy smiling face in the lineup.

So Much Good: So Little Time

First of all, before anything else I need to say congratulations to the Bruins on that excellent win in double OT last night. Very cool and it gives them a 3-1 lead over the Sabres in the series.

Second, Kevin Millar is finally a broadcaster! Sure, not for NESN. Not yet, anyway. But I am now going to make it a priority to watch the MLB network whenever I can. It's Kevin freakin' Millar! Ducky! A broadcaster! There is reason for plenty of excitement (and probably some concern). I'm sad Ducky couldn't get a job as a baseball player, but I can pretty much promise that no one will be more entertaining as a broadcaster or analyst or whatever it is he's doing. As long as they let him be himself, I'm happy.

Third, the Sox. Oh, there was plenty of good in this game, for sure. Do you know what was not good? Beckett. Beckett was not good. All he needed to do was not give up seven runs, and he couldn't do it. When your ace cannot not give up seven runs, you're usually not going to win games. How very abberrational for Josh. He better cut that out because I don't want to have to worry about him, too. Seven innings and less than seven runs allowed shouldn't be too much to ask.

But, the good. Hmm, let's see... we had a grand slam by JD, another home run by Ronald, only THREE stolen bases (I know that's not fair, it's a lot harder to steal off of a power pitcher than it is off a knuckleball pitcher, but still), amazing pitching by Bard, Paps, and Oki who are apparently our holy trinity of awesome relievers (and I'm ok with that), and another off-the-wall game winning base hit for the Sox. Youk did us proud. I'm guessing he HAD to do that because he needed to show teams it wasn't ok to walk Munchkin to get to him. Honestly, I'm glad it was Youk. He'd been scuffling, much like the rest of the team, so it was good that he got his breakout.

More bad. We went a stretch of 18 batters without having a single person reach base. Two times through the lineup, no one could muster a hit or a walk against Texas. That was pretty ugly. That's the kind of thing that makes me continuously nervous about the team, even after a hard-fought win like this.

More good. Texas pretty much had the same problem that we did with that whole 'getting on base' thing. Paps was brilliant in his first inning of work, even if he did give up a single to the sham that is Josh Hamilton. Paps was also brilliant in his second inning of work. Two innings, 15 pitches. That right there is vintage Papelbon. It also didn't hurt that Texas got a little swing happy. I don't care. I'll take it.

Even more good. Scutaro advancing to second on that fly ball by Drew. I mean, my goodness, if he didn't make it he would have been a pariah. I don't know that there's a single person who was watching that game who thought that was a good idea, but since he actually got it done, it seemed brilliant. There's some fight in these Sox after all. Nice to see. Even nicer to win!

Tonight, Dahmer takes the mound against C.J. Wilson. I'm only five posts away from reaching my goal for April. I am very proud of myself. I'm also proud of the Sox for winning two really exciting games in a row. Could this be a sign of good things to come? I hope so!

Lester: Never Happy With Himself

nu=3237>7:5>:<7>WSNRCG=3233886572;28nu0mrj"> (Jon Lester at a charity event in 2006 - photo by me... and no, that's no me in the background)

Good way for a pitcher to be. I, however, was quite happy with him. Yeah, he pitched against the Orioles, but I don't care what team you're pitching against. When the regular season comes a'callin', a W is a W no matter who the opposing team is. Some W's may seem more impressive, but they're all worth about the same. Usually.

I'd say, one occassion when a W is worth more than other W's is when you're tied for the lead in the division. Or wild card, or whatever. You get the picture. And, actually, a W is worth more when you beat a division rival that's ahead of you in the standings. Hmm... I guess I sort of just disproved my own theory? Whatever. I like wins, even if they're only spring training wins. Great. I start my first post of April as a rambly mess. Good job, me.

What was I talking about? Oh. Jon Lester. Right! One of my favorite topics. 7 IP, 1 ER, and 3 K's in his final start of the spring. Granted, I didn't SEE the start, so I'm basing my entire analysis of Jon on the box score, but to me, it all looks good. And hey, Vic had two home runs, one of which was a grand slam. I love that. That makes me happy. Good job, Vic... Victor.... Victory. I have no idea what to call you yet, but it's coming. A sustainable nickname is coming! When? I don't know.

In other news... 4 years and $68M for Beckett sounds like an awesome idea. He should totally go for it. Right?

And, of course I have to mention the fact that the Rangers aren't so interested in our boy Michael Averett Lowell right now. Are they planning on signing my Ducky? I sort of hope, because I want Millar employed, damnit! But, as usual, the whole Mike Lowell deal is being held up because of the money. I have a feeling that the money won't be an issue for long. Mike is hitting well again this spring, and being able to play first base makes him more attractive (as if that were possible). Still, I won't be crying if and when Mike is on the opening day roster for the Red Sox, even if he isn't on the field.

250 Posts: Heading Into The Season

Yeah, again, I have nothing special planned. I was actually trying really hard to keep up with the updates until I got sick (better now!), and I slacked off a bit. My last post for March... can't believe we finally made it through this horrible month. It WAS horrible. Cold. Rain. Losing record for the Sox, not-so-serious injuries to a bunch of players, brain surgery for Ryan Westmoreland, and Kevin Millar getting cut by the Cubs. Seriously, I am not going to miss March. But, oh man am I excited for April!

How could I not be? The Mayor's Cup Champion Red Sox will be home in just! Four! Days! Beckett, he of the four-year-contract-extension-talks, will be on the mound! In Fenway! Ok, yes, I am aware that I am excessive in my use of punctuation. Don't fault me. I'm excited. Because in just four days when Beckett makes his way to that mound, all of that terrible, nasty stuff that happened in March disappears. Well... you know what I mean. It doesn't disappear, it just feels better.

So, I got to watch Beckett finally on NESN this spring, and I liked what I saw. I wasn't blown away by him giving up two home runs, but that's been a problem in the past for him anyway so it doesn't surprise me. Little bit concerned about the rough spring that Rambo's been having. I like him, and I hate to see him struggle. Hopefully, he's only struggling because he misses Boston so badly. Still not so sure about the return of Alan Embree. I know, he's only appeared in what, two games? He pitched in 36 games last year and was injured, so he is just trying to work the kinks out. I get the impression that he'll start the season in Pawtucket, or be put into extended spring training or something. No way Embree is on the roster come April 4th.

My security blanket, Lester, gets his final start of the spring today. I won't be able to see it, but I'll be hoping that he has a good final start, because I really would like to see him end spring strong and start the season right. It would also be nice if someone other than Muchkin, Asshat, and Vic could pull out more than one hit per game. Oh, and perhaps we could get some sharp fielding. That would be awesome.

So, in conclusion to this, my 250th post of all time, I leave you with Millar. Because he's available, and he wants you to take him home (hint, hint, Theo).

Kazerud: Fail? I Guess.

Jason is a Met. As far as I've been able to gather, donning this particular uniform curses you to years of misery and collapse. I'm not going to say I actually KNOW anything about the Mets other than the occassional jokes I hear about them and a few stories from reporters about their sad, sad season endings recently, but I can't imagine that The New York Mets was what Mr. Bay had in mind when he decided he was going to sign somewhere that was not Boston. Let's be clear about that, he wanted more money than Theo would have ever given him, and I am ok with that.

Yes, I loved the 36 home runs. I loved the paleness, and sure, even the Canadian-ness. The defense I did not love (and I found myself muttering many times when Kaz tried to field 'if that were Manny, people would be all over him for that'.... though that MAY have just been my bitterness talking).

Maybe my stance on defense is a little ... bias?... because I don't get the fielders that I want. But NO, I do NOT enjoy watching CRW field. I didn't enjoy watching Kaz field. Coco? I adored watching that guy track down a fly ball. Awesome. But he's gone now. And the reason for that, as Loyce Crisp would say (in my imagination), "It's cause you suck, son." There were around three different inside jokes in there that I wasn't going to make, but they happen. I don't know. I guess I'm never happy.

And I'll never be happy again, because Gonzo is STILL gone! I just want my Gonzo back. Even if we do happen to pick up another infield Gonzalez, it won't be the same. He's not Alex. He's not my shortstop. Besides that, I don't think I really like Adrian Gonzalez. His name reminds me of a very sad blue. We don't need sad blue on the Red Sox, right? RIGHT?! Who's with me? Anyone? No? Fine.

So, tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and I've still got my Mikey. And my 'I've still got my Mikey' I mean 'The Red Sox haven't dumped Lowell off on another team yet' and God bless that. On top of it all, I'm really starting to feel ok about the rotation again. Yeah, I dislike John Lackey, but I don't know the dislike is a permanent thing. Some players, I will never like. Ever. I don't think Lackey is one of those players, but I refuse to warm up to him right away. See... it only took me four seasons to warm up to JD Drew. I hated him because he was made of glass, and he took my Little Tek away from me. Even after his now-classic grand slam in the 2007 ALCS, I did not like him. But now? Now I don't think he's so bad, and I even found myself cheering for him at the end of the season. Maybe it's because POS was traded off. Maybe, just maybe, I disliked JD Drew that much more because I associated him with POS, but once that association was broken, the hatred could naturally dissipate.

No, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about half of the time. But I do love Ducky.

But, good luck today to my darling Mr. Awesome, whose fantastic thumb surgery is today to repair the wonderful injury that kept him with me! Thank you, thumb tendon. I don't know what I'd do without Mike Lowell, especially so soon after losing Tedy Bruschi to retirement. I just don't think I could have handled it. So yeah, no trading away my Mikey. Please?!

Ok, time for me to move Kaz to the former player list.... sigh.

Lester: No I'm Not Impressed Yet

Lester is my boy. Anyone who's ever read this blog knows that I adore him. That being said, he's been just short of awful this year. For every one good start we've gotten from Jon, we've gotten 2-3 bad starts. So until he can show me a little good consistency, I'm not getting excited.

It's not even that he pitched particularly well. He didn't. He only had one clean inning, and he pitched only 6 1/3. Granted, he only gave up one run and it didn't even score until he was out of the game, but he looked to be struggling a little. I'll give credit to the Jay's lineup for that. They tend to be pretty hard on Jon, and they definitely made him work for his win. Nice to see a sweep of the AL East leader though.

It's good to see our two "top" guys get their ERA's below 6. How about below 4? THAT would be impressive. Nice job, Timothy Wakefield.

We have two starters left with ERAs over 6.00. Penny is one of them. He's actually been pitching well enough that I'm expecting the ERA to come down instead of to go up. I give credit where credit is due (usually), and he's been decent for us. The other one with the ERA over six... well... let's just say it's been a while since we've seen him, and he didn't really have much of a chance to get that ERA down at all.

We're dealing with Johan Santana tonight, and let me just say that I'm going to watch this game with one eye closed. Santana is just GOOD. The Mets, maybe not so much, but Santana is. And Dice-K (who is he? he doesn't look like the guy who's been pitching as our number 3....) is just coming off a month on the disabled list, so my expectations are so low that I don't even have any. Realism. Yeah.

JayBay hit a home run that should have never been a home run. Lugo was called safe at first on a play where Millar got his foot back on the bag AND Lugo never touched the base. I couldn't figure out the home plate umpire's strike zone to save my life. I'll admit, the Jays got the short end of the luck stick in the game last night, but every team has those games. We've had plenty of them already this season.

I was happy with the game. How could I not be? We floundered out west and came into a home series that very well could have shipped us into third place, and we held firm. Great! I didn't expect the sweep, but I'm happy about it. And I'm happy I got to see Ducky and his ridiculous facial hair.

Have a great long weekend, everyone! I'll be reporting back in on Tuesday hopefully with a quick wrapup (or a long one if necessary) of the Mets series. Happy Memorial Day!

Wakefield: Getting It Done Again

With my apologies to Joshua Beckett, who pitched wonderfully the other day and still, apparently, did not deserve a blog post...



I couldn't have asked for a better game. Well, I could have, but I don't want to seem greedy. I got my first official Ducky-at-Fenway sighting for the season, and my feathered friend even managed a home run. That, of course, was the only run the Jays would score on the night.



I am slightly disturbed at the way we've been scoring runs in patterns. The last two games, we've scored two runs in each. From the 10th through the 15th, we scored four runs. No more, no less. That's four runs for each starter once. Only twice it was enough to get a win. Twice, we lost 4-5. The two wins went to Joshua and Fetus. Does this pattern mean we will only score 2 runs tonight? I hope not. I'd really like to see them put up a bigger fight, but the guy we're going against tonight has been good thus far this season. Hey, everyone has bad days, right?



Youkilis should be activated before today's game. I need to remind myself that he's coming back from injury so his timing might not be there. I have to temper my expectations. I think I've got them tempered. We'll see.



A lot has been made about Papi's struggles at the plate. I think each time he's reminded how long it's been since he's hit a home run, that's another day that the pressure of not having a home run is going to mess with him. Stop reminding him, media. And good job, people at Fenway last night. That's the kind of love and support our big man needs in this really, really rough stretch for him.



Actually, I'd prefer to look at Mike Lowell's struggles at the plate. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "But hey... Lowell HAS home runs, and his batting average is a respectable .289. That's what you're thinking, right? Well, he's grounded into 11 double plays so far this season. The most he's ever had in a season is 22. Right now, he's on pace for about 35. Do I think that Mikey will hit into 35 DP's this year? God I hope not. It's possible, but I hope not. In the last 7 days, Mike is batting .211. Yes, .211. But it always feels like there's a big hit in there, doesn't it?



My point is this. Guys go through their struggles. Doesn't mean that you stop believing in them. I really, truly, wholeheartedly liked to see that reaction from the fans last night for David Ortiz. The guy needs all the love we can give him. If we can support Mikey through his struggles, we can definitely support Papi. Positive vibes, happy thoughts, and plenty of clapping kept tinker bell alive and she was just a tiny little fairy. Papi needs the same stuff, just in much higher doses. So get to clapping, folks! And just as a disclaimer, I only used Mikey Lowell because I adore him and I want to show that you can criticize even the guys you adore, and still love them.



Penny tonight. I don't know whether to shield my eyes or pull up a chair. We'll see.

150 Posts Later, I'm Still Missing Dougie

Wow. I completely missed my celebration for my 100th post, so my 150th will have to do.

And the awful thing is that I am unprepared. Like a college student who skipped the entire semester, didn't buy the book, and is showing up to the final. So I guess this isn't going to be a spectacular post, especially considering that there was no game yesterday so I have no praise or negativity to hand out.

I was just asked how many knuckleball pitchers in the history of major league baseball have thrown no hitters. I have no idea. This lead to a little research project. Come on, after Wake's awesome performance Wednesday, aren't you the least bit curious how often it's been done? I know I was, so as my 150th Post-a-palooza, I'm here to provide you with the information you didn't even know you craved.

My qualifications for this list were that the pitchers had to be most-known for the knuckleball (IE - Wakey). The no-hitter had to occur during the years they were known for the knuckler... for example, Ted Lyons threw a no-hitter in 1926. He didn't switch to a knuckleball until 1931, so he doesn't count. I tried to be thorough about this, but it is tricky. Unfortunately, I can only count no-hitters recognized by major league baseball because I couldn't find a more comprehensive list. Oh well. For your enjoyment...

Knuckleball Pitchers and The No-Hitters Who Loved Them

- Sept. 5th, 1908 - Nap Rucker of the Brooklyn Superbas (LA Dodgers) threw a no-hitter against the Boston Doves (Atlanta Braves). Brooklyn won 6-0

-April 14th, 1917 - Eddie Cicotte of the Chicago White Sox threw a no-hitter against the St. Louis Browns (Baltimore Orioles). Chicago won 11-0

-July 17th, 1924 - Jessie Haines of the St. Louis Cardinals threw a no-no against the Boston Braves (Atlanta Braves). St. Louis won 5-0

-April 27th, 1944 - Jim Tobin (who's nickname was Abba Dabba... seriously, that's awesome) of the Boston Braves pitched a no-hitter against the Brooklyn Dodgers (LAD), leading Boston to a 2-0 victory

-September 20th, 1958 - Hoyt Wilhelm of the Baltimore Orioles threw an 8 K no hitter against Don Larsen and the New York Yankees. Baltimore won 1-0.

-April 23rd, 1964 - Ken Johnson of the Houston Astros, in perhaps the most bizarre knuckleball no-hitter, lost to Joe Nuxhall and the Cincinnatti Reds 1-0. The Astros logged 5 hits, but couldn't score a run. Both Johnson and Nuxhall pitched complete games. Pete Rose scored the only run of the game, on a ball hit by Vada Pinson. It seems the error that allowed the run to score was the fault of Nellie Fox.

and finally...
-August 5th, 1973 - Phil Niekro of the Atlanta Braves defeated the San Diego Padres by a score of 9-0. But I find this far less entertaining than Johnson's no-hitter.

So there you have it. In the history of major league baseball, only seven predominantly-knuckleball pitchers have thrown no-hitters. Three have happened in April, two in September, one in July, and one in August. Of all the no hitters by knuckleballers, Boston teams have been involved in three. All three times, it was the franchise that would go on to be the Atlanta Braves. In the franchise history, the Braves have been involved with 4 knuckler no-no's. The Dodgers and Orioles franchises have been involved two times apiece. Only once has the no-hitting knuckler taken a loss for a 9-inning complete game. Pretty fascinating stuff.

Anyway, what good would a 150th Post-tastic post be without mention of two of my favorite Sox alum?

My darling Ducky hit a grand slam for the Blue Jays last night. He hasn't hit a grand slam since 2003, so you know it was kind of a rare sighting. I hope the Blue Jays are enjoying Millar. So many years later, and I still miss him dearly. Why couldn't he have been in Toronto last year when I actually went there?! Though in all fairness, I was in Baltimore, too...

I've seen it on a few blogs already, but I want to pipe in regarding Dougie's new gig as a real estate agent. He's gotten chubby, and greyer, but that doesn't deter me from wanting him to sell me a house. Oh my goodness, I think I'll stop in Michigan on the way home from Chicago just to get his business card and let him show me some real estate...

...why is my brain insisting that should be considered a perverted line? Does it come off as perverted to anyone else? Hmm. Weird. We all know (and by 'we,' I'm more than likely just talking about me) that I love Doug. It's more than likely my fault he got fired... you know, due to my well-documented spring training jinx, wherein whenever I go to spring training, the Red Sox get rid of a player I love (that's why I didn't go this year!). I still get giddy whenever I hear news about Doug. The prospect of letting him sell me a house that I probably cannot afford is mind-murderingly awesome. However, he really should consider putting on a black suit with white pinstripes... and a fedora. Do you know how much money I would pay to see Doug in a gangster-style suit?

It's an absurd amount. Absurd.

And here I am, at the close of my 150th post. I feel so accomplished!

Trot Can't Catch A Break

Poor Little Tek... one of my favorites to ever put on a Sox uniform. The guy just can't catch a break these days.

According to Hot Stove Talk, my poor Trot was released by the Brewers after batting just over .100 this spring. It really does make me very sad because I want so much for him to get back to the majors. I guess I consider myself lucky that I was able to see his return to Fenway in September of '07, despite how painful it was for me to watch him play in a different uniform. I know baseball is business, and just like every other business, when you can no longer do the job you get replaced. I don't want to say that Trot can't do the job any more, but it's not looking good.

Trot still gets a page on my calendar every year. Maybe I should stop putting him in there and he'll have better luck? I know he's a tad superstitious. Ok, next year, I'll leave Trot out and maybe he'll get back to the major leagues. I love and embrace every player that was on our 2004 roster (except Nomar.... I never could bring myself to like Nomar), but Trot holds a very special place in my heart. I don't know why. I don't know what it is about him, but Trot, Bellhorn, and Ducky are my holy trinity of former players that I love and adore more than any others. Well, the other two parts of the holy trinity have jobs. Kevin is hamming it up in the Toronto minor leagues after parting ways with the Orioles (boo! bad form, Baltimore!) and my beloved Bellhorn recently signed a minor league deal with the Colorado Rockies. At least the have jobs. I'm still holding out hope that someone else will pick up Trot, because damnit, I feel like he deserves it.

Anyway, I wish every member of my holy baseball trinity luck this year. I want nothing but happiness for all three of them.

Report for Training, My Pitching and Catching Friends

Today is absolutely perfect. It's a beautiful, spring like day here in Natick... 50 whole degrees! I've even seen the sun on occassion... in particular, driving into work this morning, it was bright orange the whole way.

I go outside and I don't freeze. While I know this is temporary and the bad weather will be back, it's exactly what I needed after being stuck home with a cold the last few days. There's some hope that spring is coming back.

To top it all off, the boys are in Florida! Not all of them, for sure, but the important ones. The pitchers. The catchers. The keepers of the game's tempo. The pacemakers at the heart of the game! And the Commander even looks like he worked out this off-season (as opposed to Mr. Penny who looks like he sat around eating double cheeseburgers all winter.) These opinions are based directly from the early pictures I saw from the Globe... or the Herald. I think it was the Globe. Oh, what does it matter? It'e reporting day! (Ps... it was the Globe, and the pictures I saw were from Dirt Dogs)

Wakefield feels fine, Beckett looks fantastic (judging by his physique. I have no idea how the ball is coming out of his hand yet. No video feed here)... Papi says he's feeling super, Jason Varitek and Kevin Millar have jobs, and the world just seems like a beautiful place today. Baseball is in the air.

Just two more weeks until the beginning of meaningless exhibition games. I can't wait!

On another note, Tito is apparently taking a little bit of issue with what Julianna Ramirez is saying about Jack McCormick. I sort of want this just to go away peacefully, but I have a feeling it's just the beginning. We all know Manny doesn't like being upstaged by anyone. People were talking about Slappy, so Manny finds a way to get his face back on the papers. I do love the guy. I just have to remind myself of that every once in a while.

Ducky: Becoming A Blue Jay

So Millar is going from the Red Sox, to the Orioles, to the Blue Jays... almost as if he's afraid to leave the east coast or something.

Regardless, good luck, Kevin. I'm happy you found a team, and we're probably be seeing a lot of you this year (keeping my fingers crossed on that!)

From duck to Oriole to Blue Jay. He's out of bird species on the east coast. Where next? Cardinals?