A young student in Illinois attended the state University. Half way through the semester, he foolishly squandered all of his money.
He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Champaign that will teach our dog, Bo, how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Bo in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young man says. "I'll get him in the course."
So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Bo doing son?" his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they also have started to teach dogs how to read!"
"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Bo in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Bo? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Bo was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your dad still messin' around with that little redhead who lives in town?"
The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that &*%$# before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The kid would become a successful lawyer; he then went on to become the
Governor of Illinois ..
Fw: Illinois Student
Fwd: Blago and Rahm Chicago chums forever
|
Fw: YA DONT KNOW NUTIN!
To understand the next 4 years you have to understand the world according to Chicago . While it is a city of Illinois it is also a completely different country with a whole different set of morals and language.
There are only three rules there which anybody can understand. You don't even need an attorney to understand them and if you need an attorney , well . . you know too much so look out for Rule #3!
RULE #1 No matter what you see, hear, or do you don't know anybody and you don't know nutin!
RULE #2 If you capture something on tape or camera it doesn't reveal nutin!
RULE #3 If you know what anybody knows in Chicago , well . . . dat's da last ting you'll ever know and you'll wish youse never knew nutin!
Now pay close attention we don't want to have ta say dis more dan once It's very simple . . . we'll illustrate. If you have too, read slow!
These two? They don't know each other!
Remember the first picture? Be sure you only remember that they don't know and you certainly don't either! Da fellas in da background in this picture? Well . . . what fellas? We don't see nutin! 
Oops! How did that get in here?
Da guy on the left? For all you know he's Santa Claus. And the guy on the right . .well, he's Da Easter Bunny! That's all you need to know and you're better off if you don't know that.
Go to your eye doctor, your eyes is liein to yas! Capish? 
We don't want to know what they're saying.
Remember Jimmy Hoffa!
He knew too much and now . . .well . . . now no one knows where he is.
Is da big picture clear?
Not these pictures gumwad, cuz youse already forgot dem! 
Now, ain't dat simple?
They don't know nutin and neither do we!
And don't fuhget it!
P.S. If you pass this on to your friends, don't forget Rule #1 and, that ways, there's nutin to fear about #3
FW: Caroline Kennedy and The Banana Republic of New York
When you’re done reading the Blagojevich complaint, with its attendant insights into Illinois politics, spare a thought for New York — where Caroline Kennedy wants a sit-down with Governor David Paterson, with the aim of claiming Hillary Clinton’s soon-to-be-vacant Senate seat.
Is there anything wrong with that picture?
Well, let’s imagine for a moment that it’s not New York State we’re talking about, but some province – call it the State of Banana — in some nameless republic rife with dynastic politics.
Here’s a sample of the politics:
Eight years ago, a Senate seat from the Banana State was won by the wife of a sitting president of the republic. That wife had never before resided in Banana State, but she bought a house there, campaigned with the aura and entourage accorded to a presidential spouse, and with one leap, winning her first elected office ever, she became a senator.
Riding a national political machine to re-election for a second term, that former first lady swiftly turned her Senate seat into a springboard for her own campaign for the presidency. She lost, but took a job in the new administration, leaving the governor of Banana State to appoint a replacement senator.
That governor was himself a replacement, due to the resignation of the elected governor, a crusading moralist caught in a prostitution scandal. As the replacement governor prepared to name a replacement senator, a former president’s daughter declared her interest in the Senate seat — which one of her uncles had won some 44 years earlier, and was using as a springboard for his own presidential run, after serving as attorney-general in his brother’s presidential administration. This former first daughter had recently worked on the campaign of the President-elect — an experience that awakened in her an appetite for politics – but she had reached the age of 51 with no direct experience of her own in public office. Nonetheless, another of her uncles, also a senator, was ready to endorse her for this leap to the Senate. So was the mayor of Big Plum (the biggest city in Banana State), who on his own turf had just succeeded in scrapping a two-term limit so he could run for a third term — which he justified as a way of offering people a broader choice (namely, himself).
That’s how it works in Banana Republics. Whatever Caroline Kennedy’s native abilities, celebrity mantle and political connections, if she thinks this is a good way for things to work in New York State, that alone is reason to worry about her qualifications for the job.
Fw: Fwd: My 2 cents on Gov Blago
Dear MRWD,
Below is a forward my brother received from our stepfather. My brother is in the army, so my stepfather is under the mistaken impression that he's a right-wing nutjob, too.
My brother's response is above, but the forward is below that. And it's also in that one font!
Love,
Brian
Chicago
note: names have been changed to protect the guilty and innocent from further awkward exchanges at the next family get-together.
-------begin forward--------
--- On 12/14/08, Mark wrote:
From: Mark
Subject: Re: FW: My 2 cents on Gov Blago
To: "Rich"
Date: December 14, 2008,
Hey Chuck, here's my two cents: if you need to bolster the credibility of your argument with racism, then your argument probably isn't very strong.
2) Jessie Jr is going to throw Daddy under the bus and deny any knowledge of his ole man doin " BIDNIT " on his behalf
On Mon, Dec 15, 2008 at 10:22 AM, Rich wrote:
Interesting...
------ Forwarded Message
Subject: Fw: Fwd: My 2 cents on Gov Blago
----- Forwarded Message -----
here is an interesting theory, not mine, but I like it. What poetic justice, after all these years of shaking down businesses, Jessie Sr. gets nailed shaking down the gov. for his son! HA!
Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:59:35 -0600
To:
Subject: My 2 cents on Gov Blago
The reason Rev Jessie Sr has not been seen during the last few days of his son possibly being in trouble ----------IS-----------!!!!!
1) Rev Jessie Sr is the one who approached Blago about appointing Jessie jr and giving him BIG BUCKS FROM RAINBOW PUSH to appoint his boy as Senator
2) Jessie Jr is going to throw Daddy under the bus and deny any knowledge of his ole man doin " BIDNIT " on his behalf
3) Why else is Sr not puttin his MUG all over the Tele in defense of his family's name
4) Blago then tried shakin down Valerie Jarrett ( Obamas girl ) for more than what Sr was offering , she tells Rahm Emanuell and he drops a dime to Fitzgerald and that takes ALL OF THE DOGS DOWN
Lets see if my years of Police work pays off !!!!!
Nothing further your Honor
The State rests !!!!!
Chuck
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