Showing posts with label JOHN EDWARDS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JOHN EDWARDS. Show all posts

Fwd: FW: VERY BRIEF BOOKS



 



Short Books!

These books hold the world record for the shortest stories, and you must have a pretty good long term memory and be well informed to fully appreciate the humor.  Just remember some of these are very, very short books.

World's ShortestBooks

MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS
By Tiger Woods

____________________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda, Cindy Sheehan
& Michelle Obama
Illustrated by Michael Moore
Foreword by George Soros
________________________________________

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA

By "The Rev Jesse Jackson" & "The Rev Al Sharpton"
______________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton
_________________

Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
_________________

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
By Bill Gates
____________________________________

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman
_________________________________
THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE

By Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________
GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
By Amelia Earhart

____________________________________

HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
By Dr. Jack Kevorkian
__________________________________
TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE

By Ellen DeGeneres & Rosie O'Donnell
__________________ 
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE

By Mike Tyson
__________________________________
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY


_______________________________________
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS

By O. J. Simpson &  Casey Anthony
_________________________________________

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
By Ted Kennedy
_________
MY BOOK ON MORALS

By Bill Clinton
With introduction by
The Rev. Jesse Jackson
And foreword by
Tiger Woods with John Edwards
____________________________________________________ 
HOW TO WIN A SUPER BOWL
BY THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS

___________________________________________________ 
AND, JUST ADDED:

My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy

By Nancy Pelosi
________________________________________________________
And the shortest book of them all.......................

THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

By Barack Obama

Fw: Lawyer Party

A LAWYER WITH A BRIEFCASE CAN STEAL MORE THAN A THOUSAND MEN WITH GUNS.
                             Vito Corleone


 This is very interesting! I never thought about it this way.

The Lawyers' Party by Bruce Walker 

The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers Party.
Barack Obama is a lawyer.   Michelle Obama is a lawyer.
 Hillary Clinton is a lawyer. Bill Clinton is a lawyer.
John Edwards is a lawyer.  Elizabeth Edwards is a lawyer.
 Every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although Gore did not graduate).
 Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school.
 Look at leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress:
 Harry Reid is a lawyer.  Nancy Pelosi is a lawyer.

 The Republican Party is different.
 President Bush is a businessman.
 Vice President Cheney is a businessman.
 The leaders of the Republican Revolution:
 Newt Gingrich was a history professor.
 Tom Delay was an exterminator. Dick Armey was an economist.
 House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer.
 The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon.
 Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer? Gerald Ford, who left office 31 years ago and who barely, won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976.

The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers.
The Democrat Party is made up of lawyers. Democrats mock and scorn men who create wealth, like Bush and Cheney, or who heal the sick, like Frist, or who immerse themselves in history, like Gingrich.

The Lawyers Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services that people want, as the enemies of America. And, so we have seen the procession of official enemies, in the eyes of the Lawyers Party, grow.

Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail, Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers, and anyone producing anything of value in our nation.

This is the natural consequence of viewing everything through the eyes of lawyers.  Lawyers solve problems by successfully representing their clients, in this case the American people.
Lawyers seek to have new laws passed, they seek to win lawsuits, they press appellate courts to overturn precedent, and lawyers always parse language to favor their side.

Confined to the narrow practice of law, that is fine. But it is an awful way to govern a great nation.  When politicians as lawyers begin to view some Americans as clients and other Americans as opposing parties, then the role of the legal system in our life becomes all-consuming. Some Americans become adverse parties of our very government. We are not all litigants in some vast social class-action suit. We are citizens of a republic that promises us a great deal of freedom from laws, from courts, and from lawyers.

 Today, we are drowning in laws; we are contorted by judicial decisions; we are driven to distraction by omnipresent lawyers in all parts of our once private lives. America has a place for laws and lawyers, but that place is modest and reasonable, not vast and unchecked. When the most important decision for our next president is whom he will appoint to the Supreme Court, the role of lawyers and the law in America is too big. When House Democrats sue America in order to hamstring our efforts to learn what our enemies are planning to do to us, then the role of litigation in America has become crushing.

We cannot expect the Lawyers Party to provide real change, real reform or real hope in America Most Americans know that a republic in which every major government action must be blessed by nine unelected judges is not what Washington intended in 1789. Most Americans grasp that we cannot fight a war when ACLU lawsuits snap at the heels of our defenders. Most Americans intuit that more lawyers and judges will not restore declining moral values or spark the spirit of enterprise in our economy.

 Perhaps Americans will understand that change cannot be brought to our nation by those lawyers who already largely dictate American society and business. Perhaps Americans will see that hope does not come from the mouths of lawyers but from personal dreams nourished by hard work. Perhaps Americans will embrace the truth that more lawyers with more power will only make our problems worse.

The United States has 5% of the worlds population and 66% of the worlds lawyers! Tort (Legal) reform legislation has been introduced in congress several times in the last several years to limit punitive damages in ridiculous lawsuits such as spilling hot coffee on yourself and suing the establishment that sold it to you and also to limit punitive damages in huge medical malpractice lawsuits. This legislation has continually been blocked from even being voted on by the Democrat Party. When you see that 97% of the political contributions from the American Trial Lawyers Association go to the Democrat Party, then you realize who is responsible for our medical and product costs being so high!

Please -- DO PASS THIS ON!!!

Fwd: ETHICAL DEMOCRATS...THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! LMAO

From: $$$$$$$@%%%%%.net]
Sent: 08/21/2008 02:43 PM MST
Subject: Fwd: ETHICAL DEMOCRATS...THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! LMAO








THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I believe the democrats have suddenly developed a keen sense of morality.
John Edwards has been banned from making a speech at the democratic convention for having an affair and lying about it.

In his place Bill Clinton will be speaking.

Fw: Fwd: Ann's Latest

Here's "Ann's latest" forward. Um. I don't get the point exactly, but enjoy.
-m

------- begin forward ---------


From: ##########@$$$$$$$.com
Sent: 08/16/2008 05:19 PM MST
Subject: Fwd: Ann's Lates


EVEN BY TRIAL LAWYER STANDARDS, EDWARDS A REAL SLEAZEBAG
by Ann Coulter
August 13, 2008

The good news: DNA testing has confirmed that John Edwards is not the
father of Rielle Hunter's baby.

The bad news: The father is Bill Clinton.

Ha ha -- just kidding! It's almost impossible to get pregnant by having the
type of sex Bill Clinton prefers.

Also, by now, everyone has heard the news that Edwards' mistress, Rielle
Hunter, has refused to grant a paternity test.

I wonder if Edwards knew that when he was making his chesty offer to take a
paternity test? Edwards gushed to ABC's Bob Woodruff: "I would welcome
participating in a paternity test, be happy to participate in one ... happy
to take a paternity test and would love to see it happen."

As Edwards knows, our paternity laws were written by Gloria Steinem, so if
the mother doesn't want a paternity test, it can't happen. So when Woodruff
asked if he was going to actually take the paternity test soon, Edwards
quickly noted, "I'm only one side of the test."

With Rielle in on the scam, Edwards could boldly demand a paternity test
and then self-righteously defend his mistress's decision to refuse a
paternity test. How dare you gainsay this woman's right to her privacy!
Because if there's one person who's gone the extra mile to keep Hunter from
becoming a public figure, it's John Edwards.

Edwards is closely following the Kennedy model of responding to charges of
misconduct. First, admit only as much as can be currently proved. Second,
get the other party to block any further investigation. I guess he really
is "Kennedy-esque"!

For example, when the cops found DNA on the murdered body of Martha Moxley
in Greenwich, Conn., the Kennedy suspect, Michael Skakel, suddenly
remembered he had been up in a tree that night masturbating! (Talk about a
tree-hugger.) You can see how something like that could slip your mind.

After Teddy Kennedy plunged his car off the Chappaquiddick Bridge with Mary
Jo Kopechne in it and then failed to report the accident for nine hours,
Kennedy admitted he had driven off the bridge -- but said he was in a state
of shock for the next nine hours, preventing him from reporting the
submerged car with a woman trapped in it.

Indeed, Kennedy was so disoriented he was barely able to dream up a highly
unlikely alibi.

The historical parallel to Edwards' pincer move with Rielle Hunter is that
Kennedy ostentatiously demanded a full investigation –- while the Kopechne
family stoutly objected to an autopsy of their daughter.

According to Senatorial Privilege: The Chappaquiddick Cover-up"" by Leo
Damore, the evidence suggested that Kopechne died gasping for breath in the
car while Teddy Kennedy was busy trying to convince various people to say
that they were driving his car.

There were lots of houses nearby with lights on, but Kennedy avoided them
after he escaped from the car, so he could sneak back to his hotel
undetected and begin establishing an alibi. Evidently, Kennedy is better
than Edwards at sneaking into and out of hotels.

If Mary Jo had suffocated, then she had been alive for hours after the car
plunged into the water. But an autopsy was required to determine whether
Kopechne had drowned or suffocated.

Both the coroner and the diver who retrieved Mary Jo's body from the car
believed Mary Jo had suffocated, not drowned. The diver found her body
contorted in the back of the submerged car as if she had been trying to
press her face into the last air pocket in the car. The coroner concluded
there wasn't enough water in Mary Jo's body to indicate a drowning.

But for the first time in Massachusetts history, no autopsy was performed
in a possible manslaughter case. Mary Jo was buried within about an hour of
her body being pulled out of the channel under the Chappaquiddick Bridge.

Naturally, Kennedy wanted a thorough investigation -- to clear his name! --
but the Kopechnes absolutely refused to consent to an autopsy of their
daughter. What more could he do? The Kopechnes' lawyer, Joseph Flanagan,
refused to say who was paying him to fight the autopsy.

Similarly, Edwards aggressively offered to take a paternity test, knowing
that the New Age hippie chick who still thinks she's going to marry him
would not hurt him by allowing a paternity test. Edwards certainly is adept
at reading stupid women, or as his campaign called them, "the base."

Democrats are always claiming to have the Kennedy magic, but, once again,
another Kennedy-wannabe falls short. To be a real Kennedy, John, you have
to kill her.

COPYRIGHT 2008 ANN COULTER
DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE
4520 Main Street, Kansas City, MO 64111

RE: Democrat or Republican? The question is shockingly easy

Republicans = experienced adults while Dems = bratty kids?
Thanks Donna for the clip.
"... I'm sending you something that my right wing dad emailed to me today. It's not technically a 'forward' so I'm not sure if it qualifies, but it sure is a load of winger crap. Submitted for your approval! Oh, and notice the misspelling of "no-brainer" that leads off the email..."
-Donna
---begin forwarded message---

He makes this look like a no brainier....





Theo Caldwell, National Post (Canada)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

An obvious choice can be unnerving. When the apparent perfection of one option or the unspeakable awfulness of another makes a decision seem too easy, it is human nature to become suspicious.

This instinct intensifies as the stakes of the given choice are raised. American voters know no greater responsibility to their country and to the world than to select their president wisely. While we do not yet know who the Democrat and Republican nominees will be, any combination of the leading candidates from either party will make for the most obvious choice put to American voters in a generation. To wit, none of the Democrats has any business being president.

This pronouncement has less to do with any apparent perfection among the Republican candidates than with the intellectual and experiential paucity evinced by the Democratic field. "Not ready for prime time," goes the vernacular, but this does not suffice to describe how bad things are. Alongside Hillary Clinton, add Barack Obama's kindergarten essays to an already confused conversation about Dennis Kucinich's UFO sightings, dueling celebrity endorsements and who can be quickest to retreat from America's global conflict and raise taxes on the American people, and it becomes clear that these are profoundly unserious individua ls.

To be sure, there has been a fair amount of rubbish and rhubarb on the Republican side (Ron Paul, call your office), but even a cursory review of the legislative and professional records of the leading contenders from each party reveals a disparity akin to adults competing with children.

For the Republicans, Rudy Giuliani served as a two-term mayor of New York City, turning a budget deficit into a surplus and taming what was thought to be an ungovernable metropolis. Prior to that, he held the third-highest rank in the Reagan Justice Department, obtaining over 4,000 convictions. Mitt Romney, before serving as governor of Massachusetts, founded a venture capital firm that created billions of dollars in shareholder value, and he then went on to save the Salt Lake City Olympics.

While much is made of Mike Huckabee's history as a Baptist minister, he was also a governor for more than a decade and, while Arkansas is hardly a "cradle of presidents," it has launched at least one previous chief executive to national office. John McCain's legislative and military career spans five decades, with half that time having been spent in the Congress. Even Fred Thompson, whose excess of nonchalance has transformed his once-promising campaign into nothing more than a theoretical possibility has more experience in the U.S. Senate than any of the leading Democratic candidates.

With just over one term as a Senator to her credit, Hillary Clinton boasts the most extensive record of the potential Democratic nominees. In that time, Senator Clinton cannot claim a single legislative accomplishment of note, and she is best known lately for requesting $1-million from Congress for a museum to commemorate Woodstock.

Barack Obama is nearing the halfway point of his first term in the Senate, having previously served as an Illinois state legislator and, as Clinton has correctly pointed out, has done nothing but run for president since he first arrived in Washington. Between calling for the invasion of Pakistan and fumbling a simple question on driver's licenses for illegal aliens, Obama has shown that he is not the fellow to whom the nation ought to hike the nuclear football.

John Edwards, meanwhile, embodies the adage that the American people will elect anyone to Congress -- once. From his $1,200 haircuts to his personal war on poverty, proclaimed from the porch of his 28,000-square-foot home, purchased with the proceeds of preposterous lawsuits exploiting infant cerebral palsy, Edwards is living proof that history can play out as tragedy and farce simultaneously.

Forget for a moment all that you believe about public policy. Discard your notions about taxes and Iraq, free trade and crime, and consider solely the experience of these two sets of candidates. Is there any serious issue that you would prefer to entrust to a person with the Democrats' experience, rather than that of any of the Republicans?

Now consider the state of debate in each party. While the Republicans compare tax proposals and the best way to prosecute the War on Terror, Democrats are divining the patterns and meaning of the glitter and dried macaroni glued to the page of one of their leading candidate's kindergarten projects.
--

 
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