MyRightWingDad.net

Subject: Solution, a la Einstein 

 

 

E = mc² (well, a slight variation)

 1. If you were to strip naked and run around in a circle at the speed of 186,282 miles/sec (the speed of light), it would theoretically be possible for you to screw yourself.

2. However, since you are not physically capable of achieving that speed at your age, you can also accomplish the same result by: Voting Democratic in the November election

Subject: Sex With an Illegal Immigrant

 - -
>>
>> An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker. "Hey, how much you charge for da
>> hour, sister?" he asks.  "$100," she replies.
>> In broken English, he says, "Do you do immigrant style?"
>>  "No" she says.
>>
>>    "I pay you $200 to do immigrant style."
>>
>>
>>    "No," she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.
>>
>>
>>    "I pay you $300."
>>
>>
>>    "No," she says.
>>
>>
>>    "I pay you $400."
>>
>>
>>    "No," she says.
>>
>>
>>    So finally he says, "OK, I pay $1,000 to do immigrant style."
>>
>>
>>
>>   She thinks, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've
>> had every kind of request from weirdoes from every part of the world. How
>> bad could immigrant style be?"
>>
>>
>>   So she agrees and has sex with him. Finally, after several hours, they
>> finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was
>> expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good.  So,
>> what exactly is immigrant style?"
>>
>>
>>   The illegal immigrant replies, "You send bill to Government."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>   AND THAT MY FRIENDLY TAXPAYERS , IS EXACTLY HOW THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
>> ARE SCREWING US!


--
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING  AND PLAYING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING AND PLAYING!

"My cousin keeps sending me 9/11 conspiracy shit and stuff that makes it sound like Ron Paul is gunna cure AIDS and balance the budget and stuff. I looked up this Larry Sinclair guy's videos. He sounds like a twat and I'd be happy if Obama offed him (I don't think he did). Anyway, enjoy." -Burt

Ha! Thank you Burt. This a great touch to the Obama death-list sensation sweeping the nation.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Eagle of Freedom
Date: Sun, Aug 3, 2008 at 4:48 PM
Subject: re: FW: This is getting scary now...
To: ####@gmail.com


>> > PROMINENT OBAMA CRITIC FOUND MURDERED!
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > Scott Harman (Freedom News) August 3rd, 2008. Duluth. Prominent Obama
>> > critic
>> > Larry Sinclair has been found dead in his apartment early Sunday
>> > morning.
>> > The death was initially ruled to be a suicide. However, investigators
>> > changed the status of the death to a "probable homicide" due to the odd
>> > angles of the bullet wound, which would have been impossible for a man
>> > to
>> > inflict on himself.
>> >
>> > "Mr. Sinclair's death was initially ruled a suicide," said
>> > Deputy Chief of Police Brian Carney. "However, upon further
>> > investigation we
>> > found tiny scratches in the metal on the lock to Mr. Sinclair's
>> > apartment.
>> > They are consistent with the marks made by a lockpicking device."
>> >
>> > Deputy Chief Carney also stated that his decision to change
>> > the
>> > status of the Sinclair's death from "suicide" to "probable homicide" has
>> > prompted a flurry of phone calls to his office. While several of them
>> > did
>> > not openly identify themselves, it was heavily insinuated that the calls
>> > were coming from high-ranking members of Obama's election committee.
>> >
>> > "None of them have threatened me outright," Carney states.
>> > "Mostly, they have stated that the department and myself included will
>> > be
>> > subject to great 'personal embarrassment' if we didn't conclude the
>> > investigation in this case as quickly and quietly as possible."
>> >
>> > Carney also stated that he would not let these phone calls
>> > influence the investigation.
>> >
>> > Messages left with Obama's national campaign office have not
>> > been returned. Duluth Mayor Don Ness, who acts as the co-chair to
>> > Obama's
>> > campaign in Duluth has responded, saying that none of the calls to the
>> > Deputy Chief of Police have originated from the Obama campaign or the
>> > Mayor's office, dismissing questions about it as "paranoia" and "just a
>> > stupid conspiracy theory."
>> >
>> > The Larry Sinclair scandal began in January 2008, with
>> > Sinclair
>> > publicly asserting that he had a homosexual sex and used illegal drugs
>> > with
>> > Obama back in 1999. In June of this year, at a conference at the
>> > National
>> > Press Club, Sinclair released his cell phone records from that time
>> > (which
>> > showed several calls to a cell phone number used by Barack Obama during
>> > those dates), as well as describing physical features of Obama's
>> > genitalia.
>> >
>> > Despite this evidence, the Obama campaign has been able to
>> > convince the mainstream media that Sinclair's claims are
>> > "unsubstantiated".
>> > Sinclair volunteered to take a polygraph examination that found Sinclair
>> > to
>> > be showing signs of deception. However, at least ten polygraph experts
>> > have
>> > examined the methodology used on Sinclair and have rated the test to be
>> > either "highly flawed" to "completely unusable". It was also revealed
>> > that
>> > the site administering the test, Whitehouse.com, had been given an
>> > undisclosed sum of money from the Obama campaign in order to discredit
>> > Sinclair's allegations.
>> >
>> > Besides a rigged polygraph test, the Obama campaign has also
>> > used viral internet tactics to smear Sinclair's reputation, alleging
>> > that
>> > Sinclair had a long rap sheet of check fraud charges, and attacking the
>> > nature of Sinclair's disability. Since 2001, Sinclair has been drawing
>> > Social Security Disability benefits for a back injury he suffered at
>> > work.
>> > In the month before Sinclair's alleged suicide, the Social Security
>> > office
>> > had suddenly decided to cancel Sinclair's benefits and demanded
>> > repayment of
>> > all funds paid out to him from the fund.
>> >
>> > "This sort of sudden removal of a person's benefits rarely
>> > happens," stated a high ranking official within the Social Security
>> > administration (speaking on the condition of anonymity). "I saw during
>> > the
>> > Clinton years where people drawing benefits would have their cases
>> > audited
>> > or their benefits removed as a way of putting political pressure upon
>> > opponents. But this is the first time I've seen such pressure being
>> > applied
>> > before a person is even in office."
>> >
>> > Sinclair's death is just the latest in a series of
>> > suspicious
>> > deaths that surround Barack Obama and his associates such as Antoin
>> > Rezko
>> > and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. The Obama campaign has dismissed such
>> > allegations in the past as "just vicious Internet smears", but there is
>> > increasing body of evidence that proves that Obama is related, at least
>> > indirectly, to at least some these deaths.
>> >
>> > Residents of the apartment building Sinclair lived in were
>> > shocked at the furor surrounding his death. "I liked Obama," said Sara
>> > Jackson, who lived next door to Sinclair. "I planned on voting for him.
>> > However, now that I see what he's capable of, I don't feel comfortable
>> > with
>> > him being our president. In fact, the idea of him becoming president now
>> > scares me."
>> >
>

Here's another donation from Dana. Full disclosure: I, uh, made a "ha!" noise after reading it.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

>>>> > Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"
>>>> >
>>>> > Customer says, "Female"
>>>> >
>>>> > Counter guy asks, "Black or white?"
>>>> >
>>>> > Customer says, "White"
>>>> >
>>>> > Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"
>>>> >
>>>> > Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"
>>>> >
>>>> > Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up."
>>>> >
>>>> >