Interesting but disturbing.

The Business Insider ruins our memories of childhood innocence with a bunch of explanatory paranoia about popular television and movies:

Charlie Brown is dying of cancer.

"My personal explanation for why Charlie Brown in Peanuts is bald is he's dying of cancer and dreaming up everything. In the strip nothing ever works out for him and his life is a disaster, but he's simply channeling his sadness into his dreams."

And:

The Rebecca Black song "Friday" is about the JFK assassination.

"The driver of the car he was assassinated in's name was Samuel Kickin (Kickin in the front seat, sittin in the back seat...). The assassination occured on a Friday and when he was shot the Secret Service yelled at Jackie Kennedy to "get down" (got to get down on Friday). Parts about the cold war and the spread of Communism are referenced (everybody's Russian) and to top it all off, in the hotel that morning JFK declined a breakfast of sausage, eggs and toast for a bowl of Bran Flakes instead (got to have my bowl—got to have cereal). Also, the following Monday JFK was supposed to sign a bill into law requiring all public schools to provide bus transportation for their students (got to catch my bus...)"

I'm going to check this one out next time I go to Disneyland:

In the Haunted Mansion at Disney theme parks, riders commit suicide during the course of the ride and become ghosts..

"At the beginning of the ride the ghost host (the narrator) says the only way to escape the mansion is to die, and he shows that he hanged himself. Near the end of the ride there's a moment where the ride vehicle turns around backwards and you go off a balcony, which according to this theory represents you jumping to your death.

Before this part of the ride the ghosts are all trying to scare you, but afterwards they sing excitedly and invite you to party with them. The only human character in the ride, a groundskeeper, appears after the balcony drop. He faces toward the riders and seems terrified of you."

My theory of the Teletubbies is that it takes place after a nuclear war when the artificially intelligent vacuum cleaners raise a devolved humanity for food.