Flashback Monday. Bristol Palin assures the world that she is never going to have premarital sex or get pregnant out of wedlock again.

For real, for real, for real, I cannot understand how this Candie's advertisement did not result in a ton of acting gigs for Bristol.

I mean she's a natural to play a woman coming out of a coma, a victim of a serious head injury, or a mentally impaired woman-child trying to pass herself off as knowledgeable about birth control.

Now see THIS illustrates exactly why Bristol was so unmercifully mocked after news of this second pregnancy broke.

It was not slut shaming, it was simply hypocrite shaming, and she deserved every bit of it.

Bristol Palin's message to her critics is childish, as usual.

Courtesy of Brancy's blog:  

This is still how much I care about anything negative … 

#prolife ❤️ God is good, happy Friday!!

Oh look she even got a pro-life pander in there. 

Cause remember she's not a former abstinence spokesperson who is publicly knocked up again without benefit of a spouse because she is a slut who doesn't understand how birth control works. She's a former abstinence spokesperson who is publicly knocked up again without benefit of a spouse because she is a good Christian who supports a pro-life agenda.

So there !

Sadly for her not a whole lot of people are buying it.

In response to her demand for "no lectures" Slate decided to tally up some of the times that she, and her ghostwriter Nancy French, felt free to lecture....well just about everybody.

And the International Business Times decided to focus on the amount she hypocritically made as a spokesperson for abstinence.

However on the plus side Candies. who paid Bristol for telling women that becoming a teen mother was bad while raking in hundreds of thousands of dollars for being a teen mother, are standing by her:

"In 2011, when she was just 19, Bristol Palin was enormously helpful to The Candie's Foundation in our mission to educate teenagers about the devastating consequences of teen pregnancy." 

That is CYA 101.

You know I think that if you believe that Bristol Palin convinced even one teenage girl that getting pregnant was not glamorous and a ticket to fame and fortune you are a special kind of stupid. 

By the way Wasilla folks (Or Palin family members who are tired of this shit.) if you happen to know who the daddy is, I know some tabloids who are willing to pay big bucks for that information. 

Bristol Palin on Good Morning America today showing off her new face and shoveling piles of BS.

Bristol is completely dead wrong about those teen pregnancy shows.

They are ABSOLUTELY showing young teen girls that it's glamorous to have babies. In fact they are telling them that it is the fast track to fame and fortune, and SHE is the worst promoter of that insidious falsehood.

Yet just like her mom she simply blames the media and takes NO responsibility at all for her complicity.

Essentially she is doing the same kind of damage to the fight against teen pregnancy that her mom did to the women's movement.

Bristol Palin attends Candies Tenth Anniversay Gala. That is Bristol, right?

Apparently Bristol trotted out her new face, her new wardrobe, and her new hair extensions in front of  the paparazzi to support the 10th anniversary of the Candies Foundation's exploitation of young women, and fake interest in fighting teen sex. (Hey I thought that Candies was no longer paying Bristol?  Is it possible she attended this for free? Ha, ha, sorry I forgot whose daughter she was.)

That's right ladies, if you teach your children that appearances are the only important way to impress the people around you, and destroy your daughter's self esteem in the process, then this is the future you can look forward to for your little girl as well.

Wait!  Was one of those pictures of Snooki from the "Jersey Shore" reality series?  And does that really even matter at this point? Because personally I just keep getting confused.

Besides if Bristol continues on this path to seeking approval, and attention, by altering her looks through surgery and then flaunting them in front of the celebrity media, how much longer can it really be before she turns up in in a photograph like this?

Remember, there was a time when Bristol was a beautiful young woman who seemed confident in her appearance, and who did not feel the need to hide behind fake tans, hair extensions, and plastic surgery.

(And yes this picture was taken AFTER she gave birth to Tripp.)

I wonder who the role model was that convinced her she needed to drastically change herself in order to feel accepted?  Any ideas?

What if Bristol Palin and the Candies Foundation practiced truth in advertising?

From Care2Care (talking about the Candies Foundation):

On their site, they claimed that in a recent "independent survey" of 1,000 teens, "twice as many teens (57% vs. 27%) said Bristol's PSA 'got my attention,' three times as many (41% vs. 11%) said it was 'powerful,' and more than twice as many (38% vs. 16%) said it was 'memorable.' Thus they are justified in spending all of their money on celebrity spokespeople rather than organizations that are actually giving teens the resources and education to prevent pregnancy.

The fact that teens found the PSAs memorable does not mean that they gained any useful knowledge from them or altered their behavior accordingly. A TV show illustrating the "devastating consequences" of teen pregnancy might be as "memorable" as Palin's PSA, but there's no reason for the Candie's Foundation to start handing out checks to the producers of The Secret Life of the American Teenager or Glee.

And frankly, if Bristol Palin is truly dedicated to "preventing even one girl from getting pregnant," she will personally redistribute her enormous paycheck from the Candie's Foundation. It's one thing for her to get paid for her speaking engagements - but it's absurd for the Candie's Foundation to spend seven times on their celebrity speakers than on actual teen pregnancy initiatives.

After all, Bristol Palin may be able to speak to the experience of teen motherhood, but as the daughter of a powerful political figure, she is certainly not typical, something that she admitted in a Candie's PSA last year. The money could be well spent on the other 750,000 American teenagers who get pregnant every year, many of whom rely on these clinics and health centers for counseling and prenatal care. It seems as though Candie's - and maybe Palin herself - are more interested in their public image than actually preventing teen pregnancy.

It looks like the author of this post has Bristol Palin, her mom, and the Candies Foundation figured out pretty well.

(H/T to The Nomadic View.)

Both Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel on the Candies Foundation's obscene payments to Bristol Palin.

First Jimmy Fallon.



Short and sweet. Mr. Kimmel?

The Candies Foundation tries to explain WHY it was worth paying Bristol Palin $262,500 to tell teens to stop doing what she herself CANNOT seem to stop doing. Update!

Courtesy of the Candies Foundation:

For ten years, The Candie's Foundation has been working to prevent teen pregnancy by producing and funding celebrity-driven print, television, radio and online public service announcements. Ms. Palin was compensated for her work with the foundation, which included appearing in video and print PSAs, two town hall meetings, and numerous media interviews.

The message of the foundation about teen pregnancy prevention has generated more than ONE BILLION media impressions – tremendous reach for any teen pregnancy prevention campaign. We know that Ms. Palin's work has had a positive effect on teens. In a recent independent national survey of 1,000 teens that compared a Bristol Palin PSA with those of nother national teen pregnancy organization that use non-famous teens, more than twice as many teens (57% vs. 27%) said Bristol's PSA "got my attention", three times as many (41% vs. 11%) said it was "powerful", and more than twice as many (38% vs. 16%) said it was "memorable".

Bristol Palin is one of dozens of celebrities who has worked with the foundation. She has been a courageous and powerful partner to the foundation as we attempt to discourage teen pregnancy.

Seriously?  Look just because some teens said Bristol's ad "got my attention," or was "powerful,"  or even "memorable," does NOT mean it had any effect on reducing teen pregnancy.

As a matter of fact, as I reported in December, teen pregnancy is on the rise as young women, under the influence of celebrity teen moms like Bristol, now see getting pregnant as the fast track to fame and fortune.  A fantasy that learning Bristol made a quarter of a million dollars in 2009, cannot help but reaffirm.

The reason that Candies, and their tragically unconvincing spokesperson, are under fire by rational people is because their illogical, bumbling approach to this problem has actually made it even worse.

And the fact that. after paying Bristol such an obscene amount of money, they then donated a piddly $35,000 to programs that truly work to curtail teen pregnancy, is all you need to know about the seriousness of the Candies foundation. As well as their commitment to educating teenagers on how to avoid making a choice that will dramatically disrupt their lives, and lead to fewer opportunities, NOT better opportunities.

Update: A reader over at Andrew Sullivan's new home has an interesting observation:

The important thing to note is that it only takes a little research (by reading the Candie's Foundation Form 990 tax filing) that among all the many celebrity spokespersons for Candie's Foundation, Bristol is the only one that received compensation. The filing lists payments to non-employee contractors that relate to programs as being $262,500 total, which is precisely equal to the amount given to Bristol Palin.

That means two things: (i) Bristol is the only "celebrity" who insisted on compensation (and a huge amount at that); and (ii) The Situation, who did that god-awful PSA with her, did not seek compensation. I'm not sure which of these facts is more surprising, but taken together, they represent a major indictment of Palin.

Now you know why the bots are fighting so hard to discredit this story.  Both Candies and Bristol look like lying opportunistic hypocrites, who are  faking compassion and a desire to do the right thing, while simply lining their own pockets.

Sarah certainly taught her daughter well.

Update 2: The AP has some more information that doesn't exactly do Bristol any favors:

In her 2009 debut with The Candies Foundation, the unwed mother and daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was paid $262,500 for 15 to 20 days of work, and another $70,000 for a less amount of work last year.

Palin is no longer on the payroll, but she remains a friend of the organization, (Foundation founder Neil) Cole said.

You all might need to help me here, but I am not aware of Bristol doing a whole hell of a lot for Candies in 2010.  In fact the only thing I can think of is this one PSA:



Is it possible she received $70,000 for THAT?

Bristol earns more than a quarter of a million dollars talking about a subject she does not even understand. Update!

From the Daily Mail Reporter:

Bristol Palin earned more than $262,500 for her role in helping to raise awareness of preventing teen pregnancies.

Tax documents show the 20-year-old daughter of former vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin made the vast sum when she was 18 in 2009.

The figure was revealed when the most recent data for The Candie's Foundation was posted online by research firm GuideStar.

Look I don't want to be mean, but is THIS a person whose expertise on abstinence is worth $262,300?

And no boys and girls, I DON'T think her suspicious weight gain while appearing on DWTS had anything to do with a love for fast food.

Bristol is paid this obscene amount of money for no other reason than the fact that her mother is a controversial "politicalebrity" (pat pending.), and her name recognition, and famous lack of knowledge about birth control, made her irresistible to the Candie's foundation. An organization by the way who ALSO do not know anything about keeping teens from having sex. (As evidenced by their steamy ads for clothing featuring attractive female models, and celebrities, in provocative poses.)

Oh yeah. Nothing sexual about that imagery, is there?

From that jumping  off point Bristol was sent around the country speaking in that halting, uncomfortable voice of hers to audiences usually made up of people who believe that you get pregnant because God wanted you to, and that the ONLY way to sabotage God's plan, is to keep your mind focused on memorizing bible passages and your naughty bits locked up tight.

Which is especially bizarre considering that Bristol became famous for NOT keeping her naughty bits locked up tight, a pattern of behavior which all evidence suggests has not changed one little bit.

"Bristol is dead serious about having another baby -- and she hopes it will happen within the year ... She wants to be married before giving birth again, and she is convinced Gino is the guy for her."

That relationship, by the way. is one that the National Enquirer is reporting just ended because, you guessed it, Bristol left her naughty bits unlocked again. Apparently Bristol hooked up with an old boyfriend, which pissed her boyfriend "Gino" Paoletti off, and now Sister Sarah is trying desperately to get him to sign a confidentiality agreement before he starts blabbing even MORE Palin family secrets. (Such as HOW Bristol managed to gain all of that weight on DWTS perhaps?)

Look nobody cares how many boy toys Bristol goes through in a year, nor how many babies she pops out as long as she can afford to pay for them.  The only thing that makes this worth reporting is that while all of this is going on, she is being paid $262,500 to lecture teenagers on how NOT to have premarital sex.  This essentially sends a message to impressionable kids that you can do whatever you want, tell others that they CAN'T do what they want, and then get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for your hypocrisy.

And that my friends, just ain't right.

Update:  Think Progress reveals that Bristol was paid SEVEN TIMES what Candies actually paid to help fight teen pregnancy.

But a closer examination of the tax form by ThinkProgress shows that the group disbursed only $35,000 in grants to actual teen pregnancy health and counseling clinics: $25,000 to the Mt. Sinai Adolescent Health Center and $10,000 to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.

And here I thought there was no way I could be any more outraged. Wrong again, Gryph!

Bristol has a new Candies ad? WTF?

I am sorry but in this "situation" I think Bristol should have listened to the Situation.

I believe it is not often that the Situation is the most intelligent person in a conversation, but in this one he was not only on the side of logic he was also doing the job that Bristol's mother failed to do back when she really needed the advice.

Now I fear it is much too late to do "B. Palin" any good.

Update: Speaking of abstinence my friend Ozmud has taken that photo of Bristol from last night's visit to the Cheesecake Factory and lightened it up a little.  Take a good look and tell me if that is the result of too much cheesecake or from not following the Situation's advice.

After you look at this, and tell me what you think, please do me a favor and head on over to OzMud and read her commentary.   She has much more to say on the topic.

Bristol stands silent while Dr. Drew trashes the father of her child.

(Bristol portion is over at the 1:33 mark)

Look how hard would it have been for Bristol to simply say "Well Levi is NOT like those other dads, he does ask to spend time with Tripp quite a bit"?

For all of those who want to make the case that the Johnston's are lying and that Levi and Bristol have "made up" as reported on TMZ and other gossip sites, along with the BS about him being "able to see his son as often as he likes", I give you exhibit A.

Don't you think if they were getting along, and there were no hard feelings, that Bristol would stand up for the guy she tricked into knocking her up?

Update: Okay this just makes me nauseous.

Bristol's new abstinence ad.

So what did you think?

And more importantly, not to be catty, but did you notice anything ....different?

It looks like my sources were dead on again. 

I guess we really are following in the footseps of dear old Mommy Dearest.