Josh Duggar wants to return to reality television to spread the good word of the Gospel. Just kidding he needs money.

Courtesy of Hollywood Gossip:

"Josh is determined to fix his image so he can make a comeback," a source close to the family tells Us Weekly. 

"He'll stop at nothing to get back in front of the cameras again, especially because he's broke and has no prospect of work. 

"Getting another reality show is the only way he can think of to make real money." 

Josh has been a public figure for long enough to know that any post-scandal comeback starts with an apology tour, and he's already making plans to sob his way through a contrite interview or two: 

"Josh is having Anna reach out to people like Dr. Phil and Megyn Kelly so he can have his mea culpa moment," the source claims. 

"If that goes well and people are sympathetic towards him, he is sure he can convince TLC to give him and Anna a spin-off - something to do with healing their marriage within the Christian faith."

Hang on a minute, I'm fighting my gag reflex.

You know scandal is not that a child molesting pervert is negotiating a pathway back into America's living rooms.

The scandal is that it will probably work.

What's more the first episode will likely attract millions of viewers and ultimately be a big hit for TLC.

And that my friends is why we currently have a narcissistic sociopathic reality star now within striking distance of winning the White House.

This is who we are now. This is what we have become.

Companies angered to learn that their products featured in commercials which aired during the Duggar's new show.

Courtesy of the Daily Mail:  

Companies who learned their commercials have been airing on a new show about the Duggars are none too happy, and making sure their ads do not run when TLC airs its new program Jill and Jessa: Counting On. 

InTouch spoke with seven companies who were not only upset when they heard this news, but also said they were taking measures to make sure it would not happen again on the network. 

The companies included; Cici's Pizza, The UPS Store, Verizon Wireless, Pure Michigan, White wave Foods, Choice Hotels and Mattress Firm. 

Cici's said; 'When we learned one of our ads was placed adjacent to controversial programming, we took immediate action to stop it.' 

The UPS Store meanwhile said the show would be put 'on our list of exclusions as well as any other potential Duggar programming.' 

Verizon said they did not intend to be on the show and had no control where their ad ran while Choice Hotels said if an ad ran it was an 'error of the network.' 

Pure Michigan may have been the most firm however, saying; 'We contacted TLC immediately after learning about this mistake, and have been assured no Pure Michigan ads will run on this program moving forward. 

'The Counting On program does not meet our brand guidelines.' 

Can't hardly blame these companies. After sex abuse and incest do not exactly sell more pizza and wireless phones.

I don't know who thought it was a good idea to put these grifting hypocrites back on TV, but I hope they enjoy the backlash from their advertisers.

The Duggars WILL return to reality TV. Pretty sure that's sign of the Apocalypse.

Courtesy of Christian Post:  

Fans of the TLC series "19 Kids and Counting" will be happy to know that the series will be back for another run. 

The stars of the series recently suffered through some scandals when it was revealed that Joshua Duggar took part in AshleyMadison.com, a website that serves as an online dating site for married men. With the family known as devout Christians, the news of Joshua's infidelity led to the show's cancellation. 

By the way the participation in the dating website is the ONLY reason given for why the show was originally cancelled.

There is no mention of Josh Duggar sexually abusing his sisters, the family's attempt to cover that up, or the fact that Josh Duggar physically abused a porn star.

How very Christian of this news outlet to provide cover for the Duggars once again.

Well so much for TLC or the Duggar family learning anything from this experience.

Two of Josh Duggar's sisters, and his mother, appear on TLC program about child sex abuse. Oh this ought to be good.

Courtesy of People:  

Jessa (Duggar) Seewald and Jill (Duggar) Dillard appeared on TLC's documentary Breaking the Silence Sunday, seeking education to address the aftermath of the abuse they faced at the hands of brother Josh Duggar more than a decade ago.

"It's amazing to understand that there are so many people that deal with this exact same thing in their own families," said Jill, 24. 

"So just being educated is very good." Jessa, 22, noted, "I feel like this should be a discussion people are having, even regularly. I think that it shouldn't be a taboo subject, that we should be bringing awareness to child sexual abuse and talking about this." 

Okay I'm confused.

Didn't the Duggar family do just about everything they could think of, including the threat of a lawsuit, to keep people from talking about Josh Duggar's molestation of at least five young girls, including his own sisters?

And doesn't the family still claim that none of the victims even knew they were being abused?

Michele Duggar also appeared on the program and here is what she said:

"I was so glad that my girls and I were able to do this together and that we could just be a support and encouragement to each other to be able to gain more information about this important topic," said Michelle, 48. 

Yes well that's all well and good but it does not really speak to the fact that the family's refusal to get Josh Duggar the treatment he really needed early on, and their ignorance about his predatory impulses, allowed him to victimize his own siblings as well as other young women who made the mistake of sleeping over at the Duggar household.

Not only that but the fact that Josh was also recently outed as a paying customer for the online cheating website Ashley Madison, and that he paid for sex with a porn star, should also suggest that Josh's problems were not due to childlike curiosity, but rather to a pathological need for illicit sexual encounters that may very well have resulted from his upbringing and the example set by his parents.

If true than the problems in the Duggar family are undoubtedly more problematic than we have been led to believe, and they should be the last people trotted out as "victims" in any sense of the word.

In wake of Duggar sex scandal TLC decides to broadcast a commercial free "special" on sexual abuse. Yep, that should make everything all better.

Courtesy of People:  

The network decided to put together the special, titled Breaking the Silence, after it was reported in May that Josh Duggar had molested five underage girls -- including some of his sisters -- when he was a teenager. 

The documentary will air on Sunday, August 30, and sets out to "promote education, raise awareness, and advance the conversation" on child sexual abuse. 

"The one-hour documentary is built around the personal and emotional stories of brave survivors who have found the courage to come forward," the network statement said. 

Added TLC President Marjorie Kaplan that "the goal is to take what has been a difficult and painful experience, and focus that attention on the really critical issue of child protection and child sexual abuse."

Apparently Jessa and Jill Duggar are also going to be part of this program. (Wait I thought they "slept" through their abuse and did not even know it happened to them?)

You know I was all ready to mock the network for too little too late, but then I realized that a network that broadcast reality shows such as "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo," "Kate Plus 8," as well as "Toddlers & Tiaras" might be the perfect place to find victims of sexual abuse and broadcast their stories to the public.

In fact if they wanted to TLC could probably turn this into a full time thing, as I imagine there is really no bottom to the well of abuse and human suffering that has been tapped into by their reality shows.

But they won't because, let's face it, people do not tune into these shows to feel the character's pain, they tune in to laugh at their suffering and for the chance to feel superior to somebody on TV.

So the rule should be that they can only bring back the show if they agree to a name change.

I think that works.

And let's be honest, you still know that the same audience of slack jawed mouth breathers who watched it before the scandal would continue to tune in. Probably attract even more of them.

Eeew!

19 Kids and Counting has been officially cancelled.

Courtesy of US Magazine:  

Almost two months after news broke of Josh Duggar's molestation scandal, TLC has canceled his family's reality show, 19 Kids and Counting, the Associated Press reported on Thursday, July 16. 

"After thoughtful consideration, TLC and the Duggar family have decided to not move forward with 19 Kids and Counting. The show will no longer appear on the air," the network said in an official statement, adding that "the recent attention around the Duggars has sparked a critical and important conversation about child protection." 

TLC's cancellation puts an end to months of speculation about the fate of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's famously large brood. The couple and their kids first rose to fame back in 2008, and finished their 10th season of 19 Kids this past May. 

In addition to canceling the show, the network has teamed with two child-protection organizations to raise awareness about child sexual abuse. They're planning to air an hour-long documentary about the issue next month. 

So if you have ever wondered exactly what line a crappy reality show had to cross in order for TLC to cancel it, the answer is "diddle your sister."

Gee I wonder what all of those conservatives who raced to Josh Duggar's defense will say about this?

Huckabee? Palin? Anybody?

Apparently the reality show "19 Kids and Counting" is losing advertisers faster than Michele Duggar births baby Duggars.

Courtesy of CNN Money:

TLC's "19 Kids and Counting" has lost more than a dozen sponsors since one of the show's stars, Josh Duggar, admitted last week that he had molested several girls when he was a teenager. 

Companies including Ace Hardware, ConAgra foods, Party City, BEHR Paint, Pure Leaf Ice Tea, Ricola, Firehouse Subs, Pizza Hut, Sherwin-Williams paint, Crayola, Allstate Insurance, and King's Hawaiian have pulled their sponsorship from the reality TV show, which has run on the network since 2008. 

Those companies join Walgreens, General Mills, Payless ShoeSource, and Choice Hotels who have previously said they were yanking their ads from the show. 

Each of these companies took to social media to explain to fans and consumers that they were ending sponsorship of the show. 

"We share your concern for the safety of children and have no plans to air Crayola commercials during future episodes," Crayola tweeted Wednesday.

You know at this points I cannot even imagine which companies would want to be associated with this family. 

Or for that matter who would still want to watch this hypocrisy riddled reality show.

Especially since it appears that the family is still being investigated by DHS.

It looks like its time for these people to get real jobs like the rest of us, and stop making a living off of the Duggar mother's over producing birth canal.

Thousands sign petition to keep the TLC show "My Husband's Not Gay" off the air.

Courtesy of HuffPo:  

Thousands have already signed an online petition calling for the cancellation of a forthcoming TV special about a group of Mormon men who say they are attracted to other men but have chosen to marry women. 

Slated to air on TLC on Jan. 11, "My Husband's Not Gay" promotes "the false and dangerous idea that gay people can and should choose to be straight in order to be part of their faith communities," according to the Change.org petition's founder, Josh Sanders. 

“I started this petition because these men deserve compassion and acceptance," Sanders, a devout Christian who said he was previously subjected to reparative (or "ex-gay") therapy, said in an email statement. "Instead, TLC is presenting their lives as entertainment, and sending the dangerous message that being gay is something that can and ought to be changed." 

He added, "No young person should ever be told to be ashamed of who they are -- especially by a television network.”

As you may remember I posted about this show on Christmas day.

At the time I sort of made light of it because, honestly, how can you take it seriously? And my position really hasn't changed.

"Oh God, why does this feel so right?"

Though I understand the concerns of the LGBT community, I have to say that if the program is anything like the trailer that this may do more to demonstrate the ridiculousness of denying your sexuality in deference to God, than anything else I can imagine.

I mean come on, did that convince any of you that these men are not gay?

New TLC show about gay Mormon men, refusing to admit they are gay. But you know, they are.

Courtesy of HuffPo:  

"My Husband's Not Gay," a TV special about a group of Mormon men living in Salt Lake City who are attracted to other men but have chosen to marry women is headed to TLC. 

The special will follow couples Jeff and Tanya, Pret and Megan, Curtis and Tera, and a 35-year-old bachelor named Tom, according to The Wrap. 

Quotes from the trailer include "With our faith in God we believe we believe we can overcome anything," "I like to say I've chosen an alternative to an alternative lifestyle" and "I'm interested in men I'm just not interested in men."

This almost cries out for a Jeff Foxworthy like bit called "You might be gay if..."

You might be gay if....you like to nibble the batter off of your corndog before swallowing it whole.

You might be gay if...the first thing you notice when you see your beautiful totally nude wife emerge from the shower is that she's done something different with her hair color.

You might be gay if...you cannot quote any football stats but have memorized every episode of "This Old House."

And you might be gay if....you are the male half of any of these couples.

I swear leave it to religious people to convince themselves that by denying the love they so desperately seek that they are somehow making God love them more.

Just goes to show that denial is not simply a river in Egypt.

The Onion jokingly describes TLC plans for replacing "Honey Boo Boo" but I think they are really on to something.

So I don't usually link to the Onion because when dealing with some of the things I write about you really have to struggle to define the line between reality and parody.

However yesterday I saw this amazing faux description of what the TLC producers should be doing in response to the loss of one of their biggest stars.

Take a look: 

Saying that he didn’t “give two shits” if they had to knock on the door of every trailer and halfway house in the country, TLC producer and programming director Mark Livingston reportedly told his staffers Friday that he expects to see a list of at least 100 fucked-up families on his desk by the end of the workday. “We’re up shit creek right now, so I need each one of you assholes rooting through every gutter in the goddamn Ozarks to find me a household of inbreds, addicts, or fat-as-fuck morons that we can put in primetime,” a visibly aggravated Livingston said to his staff following the cancellation of the network’s popular Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, stressing that the new families had better be “borderline brain-dead” and “messed up as all fuck.” “If they have 20 dipshit kids, that’s great. If they only have one greasy dimwit kid who can barely string a sentence together, that’ll work too. Hell, you get me some snarl-toothed family of backwoods idiots who all call their dad Papa Pig or some shit like that, and I’ll sign them immediately. Just find me some family of sewer people I can throw in front of the goddamn camera, got it?” At press time, Livingston was angrily telling his staffers that they could all find a new job wiping asses at the Disney Channel if they brought him one more suggestion for a morbidly obese teen mother.

Okay I'm sorry, I know they might think this is a joke but c'mon we all know who they are describing, right?

And it's not like they have not worked with them before, so they will not have to struggle to learn all of their bizarre names or anything.

And NOW they are even a better fit for TLC now that they have taken to crashing parties and attacking the hosts.

I mean come on, the scripts for the unscripted reality show almost write themselves.

One episode could be all about Track ripping off various articles of clothing before he gets his ass beat by a bunch of "little bitches,"

And another could focus on a highly intoxicated Bristol telling the TLC camera crew about being sexually assaulted by imaginary men, or possibly aliens, and them stealing her expensive accessories. As well as possibly probing her.

Another episode would feature Willow demonstrating her incredible expletive filled vocabulary. "Did you know there are like a hundred and ninety five different variations on saying 'fuck you' to somebody?"

And of course Sarah herself will yelling "Don't film that," and "Stop cussing Track," and of course "I'll buy the film from your camera."

Yep I think it is meant to be.

The TLC spokeswoman who dealt with controversies over "Jon & Kate Plus 8" and "All-American Muslim" lists "Sarah Palin's Alaska" her most "sensitive project." Gee, I wonder why?

Courtesy of the New York Times:

Every public relations executive has to manage a crisis from time to time. But in the last few years, Laurie Goldberg has had a career’s worth.

As the top spokeswoman for the cable channel TLC, Ms. Goldberg has handled the spotlight on Sarah Palin’s reality show, the rise and fall of “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” and a legal spat over “Sister Wives,” a show about polygamists, just to name a few. Last month, it was a documentary-style reality show about Muslim families in Michigan, “All-American Muslim,” that suddenly became a press sensation. A man in Florida called for an advertiser boycott, and Lowe’s, the home improvement retailer, listened. By Dec. 12, reporters were calling, cable news producers were scrambling and politicians were fuming. 

“We’ve been fairly prominent in the pop culture,” said Eileen O’Neill, who oversees TLC, “and I don’t think I would have had the confidence to navigate it without Laurie’s skill set.” 

Personally I would have thought that dealing with the backlash directed at the "All-American Muslim" show would have easily qualified as the most sensitive that this woman had been forced to deal with.

But I would have been wrong.


Perhaps Ms. Goldberg’s most sensitive project was Ms. Palin’s reality show, for which she put aside her strong Democratic views. 

She traveled to the Palins’ home in Wasilla repeatedly, dining one night on smoked caribou and salmon that had been hunted and fished by Todd Palin. (They do this just for show. There are plenty of places to get food in Wasilla, that does not have to be hunted by Todd Palin, or Papa Heath.)

She even baby sat the children one rainy day when, in a programming stunt of sorts, Ms. Gosselin went camping with Ms. Palin. In the ensuing episode, Ms. Goldberg can be seen listening to Ms. Gosselin list her grievances about the trip — “I am freezing to the bone. ... I’m hungry.” (In case you forgot that episode, you can see an excerpt here.)

“I felt like Forrest Gump,” Ms. Goldberg told Ms. O’Neill when she returned. 

In an interview, Ms O’Neill joked: “I’m still paying for that trip.” 

Ms. Palin’s series ended last January, but just a couple of weeks ago, reporters started asking whether the show would have a second season. (There are just some “initial conversations” going on, Ms. O’Neill said.) 

Asked at the time whether TLC had any comment, Ms. Goldberg pecked out a one-word answer on her iPad: “Nope.” 

Gee I wonder what the most "sensitive" part was for Goldberg?

Was it pretending that Sarah was not a lunatic? Filming around the real scandalous things happening in the home? Or dealing with Palin's bizarre mood swings? (Though admittedly Gosselin's had to be fairly difficult as well.)

Or perhaps it was just having to sit around, as a good Democrat, and listen to these under educated morons trash the President, and wax philosophical (Using that term loosely here.) about how great the country would have been if only Sarah "freaking" Palin had been the VP?
 
By the way, despite Mark Burnett's teasing on Palin's behalf, it certainly does not sound like TLC is terribly interested in working on a season two of SPA, now does it?

Palin will not face charges for wasting meat during hunting episode of "Sarah Palin sees Alaska for the very first time."

From CBC News:

"You have to be prepared, after you've bagged that animal, to haul it out, and you want to get all the meat that you possibly can," the former governor said on the show.

"We're going to take those hind quarters and the four legs with us, and as much backstrap meat and rib meat as we can."

However, Palin's father said he would not gut the freshly killed caribou.

"We're going to quarter it and take him home, so I don't gut him," he said on camera.

That decision surprised Riley Woodford, a spokesman with the Alaska Department of Fish and Game in Juneau.

"Why didn't he want to gut it, and why didn't he want the organs?" Woodford asked.

"That's even more perplexing, that someone who seems to know what they're doing would do that."

State regulations say hunters who kill caribou, moose, sheep, deer and other large game must salvage, among other things, "all the meat along the backbone between the front and hindquarters," including the backstrap and tenderloins.

Woodford said it is nearly impossible to access a caribou's tenderloins without gutting it first, but said there will be no investigation, since it's not known what happened after the cameras stopped rolling.

According to Alaska's hunting regulations, the "wanton waste of big-game meat is an extremely serious offence punishable by a fine of up to $10,000 and one year in jail."

Well in my opinion that is just a miscarriage of justice.  They have Chuck Heath saying on camera that he is going to waste the rest of the meat and if they had any balls all Fish and Game would have to do is interview the TLC camera crew, demand the unused footage, and get to the bottom of this.

Let's face it, there are still people in Alaska afraid to take on the Grizzled Mama for fear of their jobs.  She does still have a lot of friends in high places in this state.

Personally I think that TLC is missing a chance at a true ratings winner.

It would be a natural spin-off inspired by her current reality show called "Sarah Palin sees the inside of a jail cell for the very first time!"

I know I would be loyal viewer, and I have the feeling it would prove to be the most popular show in the TLC lineup.

George Will latest conservative to say flat out that Sarah Palin is unelectable.

From Mediaite:

Asked by Jake Tapper (filling in for Christiane Amanpour) to evaluate the Republican landscape for November 2012, Will began by addressing the fact that Mike Huckabee had performed particularly well in the primaries in 2008– better than Mitt Romney– and then added this salacious tidbit of speculation:

“The President’s secret weapon may be the Republican nominating electorate… There is one person, high in the polls, Sarah Palin, who cannot be elected president because she cannot compete where elections are decided. In the collar counties outside Chicago, Montgomery County outside of Philadelphia– just can’t compete there.”

At this point it would be much easier to find a Republican that thought Palin had NO shot in 2012, than to find one who thought she did.  Leave it to Palin to take a high positive approval rating among Republicans in 2009 and spend almost all of 2010 picking fights and over exposing herself until she cut it down to almost a third of what it once was.

According to the TLC listings for next week, it looks like "Sarah Palin sees Alaska for the very first time" will be broadcast on January 9.  (I still swear they said NEXT week, LAST week.  But oh well.)

I am sure that by the end of the two hour finale Palin will have managed to repulse even MORE thinking conservatives who might have once been open to supporting her.

Whoever came up with the whole reality show idea was simply brilliant. Yep brilliant. IF their plan was to make sure that Palin would never get anywhere near the White House.

Methinks the Palin camp might have a double agent.

What? No new episode of "Sarah Palin sees Alaska for the very first time" tonight? But I have all of this snark saved up, whatever will I do with it?

Somebody just left a comment saying that there was no new episode of Sarah's failed reality show/political advertisement showing tonight.  I checked it out, and yup they are correct.

WTF?

Did they not advertise a two hour finale to be aired this week after last week's abysmal episode?  Why yes they did.
Hmm, what to make of this.

No tweets since Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas to All! http://fb.me/NOENBHzt
24 Dec via Facebook

No blow back after attacks by Charles Krauthammer and others.

No defense of Bristol's new choice of home in Dreary Gulch, Arizona.

Nothing!  Not a snotty comment aimed at the Obamas.  Not a fake article written by her troop of ghostwriters.  No barely literate tweets from her Red Bull energized fingertips.  Not...a...peep!

Which of course means it is open season on conspiracy theories.

Did Bristol suddenly lose several pounds during a blessed event?

Is Palin freaked out about the fact that her e-mails might finally be released in May?

Is the Mama Grizzly having a breakdown of some sort and currently bouncing off the walls in a rubber room somewhere?

Did she get a load of some of those sides shots of her face on TLC and decide to get a little more surgical assistance?

Did Willow finally make a break for it and the family is currently involved in a Wasilla wide manhunt?

Beats me.  But do you know what?  This IS Sarah Palin, so you can count on there being something scandalous behind the scenes that is the cause of this strange eerie quiet from the Palin camp.

We may never know exactly what it is, but it is almost a certainty that SOMETHING is going on.

What do you think?

On "Sarah Palin sees Alaska for the very first time" Sister Sarah shoots at the only retarded caribou in the state.

So I am sitting here watching this ridiculous show, and Palin is firing shot after shot at a caribou who is simply standing on the top of the hill as if he either has a death wish, or is too stupid to respond to a loud bang in the middle of the wilderness.

I have never heard of any animal that did not run when people started shooting in its direction.

Five shots later, and after changing to a different gun, Sarah finally makes a kill.

I am sorry, but I call bullshit on this whole episode.  Nothing that I am seeing is ringing true to me.

Now they are going through some extra effort, having Papa Chuck shoot his gun at a target, to PROVE that it was the gun's fault that Sarah missed those five shots.  Of course we discover that the sight on the gun was off. Can't let the myth of Sarah's shooting skill get damaged by evidence to the contrary now can we?

BTW earlier in the hunt Papa Heath took a fairly big tumble, backpack and all, and the Grizzled Mama could barely muster an ounce of concern.  However a few minutes later she fussed and screeched about how cold the water was on her feet like it was the first time she had ever felt creek water in Alaska.

Now back at camp Sarah goes on about how much fun it was too kill the caribou. "It was a blast y'all!" She says.

Somebody is AWFULLY defensive about tonight's episode of "Sarah Palin sees Alaska for the very first time."

From the terribly tortured Twit's twisted tweets:

"Controversial" Sarah Palin's Alaska hunting episode tonight? Really?
23 minutes ago via web

Unless you've never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather couch or eaten a piece of meat, save your condemnation of tonight's episode.
22 minutes ago via web

I remain proudly intolerant of anti-hunting hypocrisy. :)
22 minutes ago via web

Tonight's hunting episode of Sarah Palin's Alaska "controversial"? Really? Unless you've never worn leather... http://fb.me/HY3gXBVo
3 minutes ago via Facebook

I am beginning to wonder if the Grizzled One knew what she was getting into with this reality show/political advertisement?  She appears to have been completely caught off guard by the negative response from people who realize that Palin does not HAVE to hunt in order to eat.  She CHOOSES to kill these animals in some bizarre effort to make herself seem more electable, and THAT is what is eliciting such negative media attention.

The insanity of advertising this program as a showcase for Alaska's magnificent wildlife, which then shows Palin bludgeoning it, shooting it, or chopping it into pieces, seems to have completely eluded both the producers of this television show AND Sarah Palin.

(H/T to the anonymous commenter who brought my attention to these tweets.)

Color me confused, on the next "Sarah Palin sees Alaska for the first time" is she going to pretend to hunt caribou, or pretend to protect Kate Gosselin from bears?

In the preview I put up yesterday TLC led us to believe that Sarah Palin, her dad Chuck Heath, and some guy who actually knows what he is doing in the woods, were going to go hunting because Sarah's freezer was low on meat and she forgot she lived only five minutes away from the Carrs Grocery store in Wasilla.

But now we see Palin doing her best John Wayne in drag impersonation in front of Kate Gosselin and then ridiculing her behind her back.  Which, by the way, seems like a much more realistic depiction of WHO Sarah Palin is in real life, an arrogant back stabbing bitch.

I am not kidding.  If you went to Wasilla and asked passersby where the "arrogant, backstabbing bitch" lived they would ALL point to Palin's house.

Well now I don't know WHAT to expect on Sunday. (Mystery cleared up.  US Magazine changed their video, and it now gives December 12, as the broadcast date for the Kate Gosselin episode.  You can see a preview by clicking Gosselin's name in the link above.)

Will we see Sister Sarah breaking Alaska Fish and Game laws by hunting for Caribou without a proper permit?  Or will we see Sarah tease and make fun of her out of state guest in order to make herself feel superior?

Or maybe we will see some combination of the two, where Sarah takes Gosselin out into the woods and shoots her out of season and then comes back to the camp and teases her eight children about never seeing their mommy again. (You know I think THAT'S the one that sounds the most like the Grizzled Mama!)

By the way if Kate Gosselin was REALLY relying on Sarah Palin to protect her from ANYTHING then she has not been paying much attention as to how Bible Spice Barbie takes care of her "friends."  Just ask Elizabeth Hasselback.

On Next week's "Sarah Palin sees Alaska for the first time" Palin pretends to murder something. How Presidential of her!

Of course through the magic of television it will only APPEAR that Sarah Palin blew that cuddly caribou's head off.  In fact Sarah Palin does not know the first thing about hunting.

Oh sure she has been photographed standing over the carcasses of caribou in the past.

Such as here.

And here.

And of course here.

Wait, was that a caribou?  Well great, now I'll NEVER get that pony from Santa Claus that I have been asking for since the second grade.

However just posing next to something doesn't mean you killed it.

Yeah good example.  Let's face it Joe Miller snuffed the life out of his political career all by himself. Sure Palin didn't help, but essentially she just winged it, Miller himself put it out of our misery.  I'm sorry HIS misery.  No I was right the first time, OUR misery.

However if the TLC crew does a good enough job of convincing people that Sarah Palin actually DID slaughter that caribou in the video, that might not be a bad thing.

Because according to research done by Malia Litman Sarah did not possess the appropriate Alaska hunting license allowing her to hunt caribou.

4. According to the Alaska Fish and Game Department, as of September 16, 2010 there was no record of a hunting license for Sarah Palin.

5. Upon further inquiry I was advised by the person employed with the Alaska Fish and Game Department that Sarah Palin had not held a license for 2008 or 2009.

AWK...WARD! 

So perhaps somebody (ME, ME, ME!) should call an official at Alaska Fish and Game and tell them to watch SPA on Sunday evening.  You know just in case they want to, oh I don't know, ARREST HER for taking a caribou without a hunting license?

Okay Santa, forget the pony, I think I would rather have THIS for Christmas instead!

Sarah Palin, sexualizing politics since 1996.

There were a number of strange things that jumped out at me during the premiere of Sarah Palin's "political advertisement hiding inside of a reality show," but the one thing that kept teabagging me in the face was the unnecessary and gratuitous use of sexual imagery.

Now anybody who watches reality programming, like "The Jersey Shore." "Kendra," "The Kardashians," etc., is aware that exposing a little skin and engaging in some naughty talk attracts the viewers like flies to cow pies.  After all these shows are designed specifically to awaken the voyeur in all of us.

However to have a middle aged, possible Presidential hopeful follow that formula is a little....well let's go with disconcerting.

Though I guess we should not find it that surprising considering that Palin used her rapidly deteriorating sexuality to get mushy editorial love letters from the male dominated American press when John McCain first plucked her from the wilds of Wasilla. And that using sex to get attention and compliance is nothing new since, according to Vanity Fair, she even did that back in the days when she was working with the city council of Wasilla: “Once, while Sarah was preparing for a city-council meeting, she said, ‘I’m gonna put on one of my push-up bras so I can get what I want tonight.’ That’s how she rolls.”

Still, watching Palin parade around in her shorts for the camera crew, while playing the damsel in distress frightened of the completely disinterested Joe McGinniss next door, IS a little creepy.

Sarah also constantly sports this bizarre "I just received a good rogering out by the dead lake" hair weave on her head, which also seems designed to fire up the "naughty bits" of the conservative males in the viewing audience. (If she is getting a "rogering" I highly doubt it is from  Todd "Captain America" Palin who looks like he has not had sex since Piper was conceived. Yes I said PIPER!)

Perhaps the most uncomfortable use of sexuality are the scenes of Willow parading around the house in booty shorts while attempting to sneak her boyfriend past her mother to join her in her bedroom.  Sarah, also walking around in shorts, puts a stop to that in very flirty, Mrs. Robinson manner, which just adds to the "ick" factor of the whole scene. (By the way it should also be noted that neither Willow, Piper, Sarah, nor Todd seem to suffer from the "eating disorder" that is currently causing Bristol to gain weight while dancing eight hours a day.  Of course if Willow's boyfriend had made it past the Grizzled Mama that might have changed.)

There are many more oddly sexualized moments in the program as well, but the ones that seemed especially out of place and bizarre took place while Sister Sarah was "climbing" some rocks near Denali.

For one thing as they were training for the climb, there is a scene where Bible Spice is seen dangling from a harness that looks suspiciously like the sex swing which I have no doubt many conservative men have hanging in their garage with their Sarah Palin sex doll already strapped in for easy access.

Then later at the beginning of the actual "ascent" Todd refers to Sarah as "juicy."  Yes you read that right, "JUICY!"

Now I tried to think of other words that Tawd might have actually used that only sounded like "juicy," like "pushy," or "gooshy," or "you harpy bitch," but none of them sounded convincing enough for me to believe that he did not ACTUALLY refer to his wife on national television as "juicy." (Do you know what is even stranger?  Since I have heard from numerous sources that Todd never really gets to see Sarah in her "juicy" glory," that word might actually have been written into the script for him to say!  Go ahead and shower if you have to, I totally understand what you are feeling.)

Then later as Sarah feigns helplessness and constantly bitches about EVERYTHING in a way that must only be sexy to guys who have little respect for strong women, she stops for some reason to announce to the television audience "Now I’m straddling a crevasse. It’s deep and dark." I have little doubt that at that announcement numerous male Republican hands, went down numerous male Republican pants, as they murmured to themselves "I got something for your crevasse right here baby!"

All in all the program was ridiculous and so fake that it made my head hurt.  In fact I could not live blog it because I was too busy rubbing my temples and trying to figure out who would buy into this steaming pile of mooseshit. (After the show I cleansed the scary out of my head by turning the channel to AMC to watch the new show "The Walking Dead," because Gryphen loves him some horror shows, and had a weird moment of Deja vu right up until I realized that the Todd Palin looking zombie I was watching could not actually be the ex-First Dude because he had WAY too much personality.)

Gee I wonder how Sister Sarah will embarrass herself, her family, and the people of Alaska next week?