I bet his lawyers will be arguing against it.

"Come on, you've read his tweets, do you really think my client is a fully functioning adult?"

This should put a smile on your face.

The president won't apologize to women so I did it for him. pic.twitter.com/Y4GGnWu4FU

— Liz Plank (@feministabulous) December 21, 2017

Of course we know that Trump will never apologize for anything.

That would require the kind of honesty and self reflection that megalomaniacs are simply unequipped to handle.

Today is going to be a tough news day so let's take a moment to enjoy warm glow of the Obama-Biden bromance.

ME: Joe, about halfway through the speech, I’m gonna wish you a happy birth--
BIDEN: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!
ME: Joe.

Happy birthday to @JoeBiden, my brother and the best vice president anybody could have. pic.twitter.com/sKbXjNiEjH

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) November 20, 2017

I saw this yesterday on Twitter and it just made me feel good again, for a little while.

We were so blessed once, I just wish we had taken the time to enjoy it more.

I read an interview with Biden recently where he said that all of those Obama-Biden memes on the internet are all true. Not literally of course, but they reflected the relationship that he had with his boss and best friend.

Damn I really hope that some of these are true.

Focus in the presidential photos in the background.

Somebody has some serious photoshop skills. 

I think if these paintings were to actually come to life we would find Trump's lifeless corpse in a White House bedroom with a ring of ancient paint flakes around his neck. 

Alec Baldwin returns to SNL to mock Trump's response to Charlottesville.

Courtesy of Rolling Stone: 

Alec Baldwin dusted off his Saturday Night Live Donald Trump impersonation on Thursday's Weekend Update: Summer Edition. He lampooned the president's controversial response to the Charlottesville tragedy, defensive Phoenix rally and bizarre choice to stare directly at the sun during the solar eclipse.

"How about that eclipse, folks, huh?" Trump said onstage during the mock rally, wearing sunglasses. "A lot of people don't know this, but you can damage your eyes while looking at an eclipse.

"After praising the mostly white crowd as "fantastic," Trump attempted to "set the record straight" by clarifying his widely criticized response to the deadly protests in Charlottesville, Virginia. 

"You have a group on one side that's very bad, neo-Nazis, and you had a group on the other side' – and then I didn't say a single word after that," he said.

Must keep our sense of humor.

It is what sustained me through eight years of George W. Bush and by gosh it will sustain me through the predicted year and a half of the Trump presidency. 

Tina Fey represented all of us on last night's Weekend Update. #sheetcake.

Courtesy of WaPo: 

Tina Fey is fuming about last weekend’s violence in Charlottesville, home to her alma mater, the University of Virginia. 

In response, the former “Saturday Night Live” comedian and writer is spearheading a movement: “sheetcaking.” 

In a surprise appearance on SNL’s “Weekend Update: Summer Edition” Thursday night, Fey urged Americans not to get into screaming matches with neo-Nazis. Instead, she said, “order a cake with the American flag on it … and just eat it.” 

She proceeded to stuff her face with sheet cake as she bashed white supremacists, President Trump, House Speaker Paul D. Ryan and conservative pundit Ann Coulter (“yard-sale Barbie”). 

With her mouth full of frosting, she seemed to capture the frustration of many Americans in the past week. Almost immediately, the hashtags “#sheetcakemovement” and “#sheetcaking” began circulating on social media.

I had a couple of thoughts while watching this genius at work last night.

First, why doesn't this woman have her own show right now?

Second, I totally feel everything that she was expressing. Totally.

And third, is that not the moistest cake you have ever seen?

I don't even usually like cake, and she was eating it like a rabid wolverine, and yet I still wanted some of it. Really bad.

So thank you Tina Fey for channeling all of our emotions to eloquently.

And thank you for the extra three pounds I am definitely going to gain when I sit down to eat my own entire sheetcake.

Stephen Colbert travels to Russia to spend the night in the presidential suite mentioned in the infamous "pee pee tape."

Courtesy of Slate: 

On Thursday, Colbert shared what he calls “the whole damn reason” he went to Russia in the first place: He wanted to find evidence that the Steele dossier, a series of leaked memos full of scandalous allegations about Trump’s campaign’s ties to Russia, was real. But Colbert wasn’t interested in the parts about financial ties and collusion—no, Colbert wanted to find the alleged compromising footage the Kremlin took of Trump watching Russian prostitutes urinate on the bed at the presidential suite at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton. In other words, he wanted to find “the pee pee tape.” 

With that noble mission in mind, Colbert set out through the streets of Moscow to ask bewildered interview subjects and pedestrians whether they have any leads on “the pee pee tape.” And when those questions yielded nothing, he did what any serious investigative journalist worth his salt would do: He rented the presidential suite for a night, bringing along surveillance expert Andrei Soldatov, to help him look for clues. He didn’t find any, but he definitely had a great time cracking urine puns and jumping on the bed. Maybe the real pee pee tape was the friends we made along the way.

Did you ever not realize how much you needed something, until you saw it?

Well that describes me and this bit.

I had no idea how much I would enjoy this until I was in fact enjoying it.

Now, now I can go back to covering the craziness surrounding Donald Trump with a smile on my face, a song in my heart, and absolutely no pee pee in my bed.

Bill Maher laments the end of the summer mental health break.

My favorite part:

"So I don't know how this happened, or when exactly this stupidifying of the whole year. Maybe it was the advent of Fox News. Maybe it was when we made stars out of the Kardashians. Maybe it was the day John McCain decided to let an ill advised summer fling with a ditzy moron last all the way into November.  Whatever it was we have got to get summer back. We've got to be able to enjoy stupidity again. Hard earned, respectable, stupidity. That's what my goal is in the age of Trump."

By the way the whole show last night was very solid.

From the opening monologue, to the interview with  Dan Savage, to the great folks on the panel, the show pretty entertaining from start to finish.

Which is great, because the show last week was absolutely terrible and was bad to the point where I almsot skipped this one.

Glad I didn't.

John Oliver being sued by "coal king" over segment which included threats of just such a lawsuit.

So you guys might remember that on Tuesday I posted a story about John Oliver's brilliant take on Donald Trump's inability to actually bring back coal jobs.

Part of that show also featured references to "Coal King" Bob Murray, a close friend of Donald Trump's, who threatened to sue Oliver if he included him in the segment.

Of course Oliver did just that, and even mocked a story told about Murray that suggests he once had a conversation with a talking squirrel.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome to Last Week To-nut, I'm Mr. Nutterbutter. Just time for a quick recap of the week..." pic.twitter.com/Gsveb3PUfb

— Last Week Tonight (@LastWeekTonight) June 19, 2017

Well for some reason Mr. Murray did indeed take offense, and now he is actually suing John Oliver and HBO: 

A Republican coal baron is suing John Oliver, HBO, Time Warner, and the writers for Oliver’s show over the most recent episode of Last Week Tonight. 

The suit, filed on June 21 in the circuit court of Marshall County, West Virginia, holds that Oliver and his team “executed a meticulously planned attempt to assassinate the character of and reputation of Mr. Robert E. Murray and his companies” by airing an episode that ripped into him. Murray runs the country’s largest privately owned coal company, Murray Energy Corporation. 

“They did this to a man who needs a lung transplant, a man who does not expect to live to see the end of this case,” reads the complaint, which also lists Murray’s companies as plaintiffs. 

The lawsuit isn’t a surprise to Oliver. In fact, the British comic said on the episode of his show that aired on June 18 that he expected it, noting that Murray has sued several other media outlets in the past (including, in May, the New York Times). In the episode, Oliver criticized Murray’s business practices, saying he doesn’t do enough to protect his miners’ safety. Oliver also noted that his team contacted Murray’s company before the episode aired, and that the company sent a cease-and-desist letter––the first time that had ever happened to his show. 

Parts of the complaint read like it had been written by President Donald Trump. One paragraph says Murray “has built a strong reputation as one of the as one of the staunchest defenders and most ardent champions of the United States coal industry and America itself.” The complaint also claims that “[d]efendants’ broadcasts have vigorously supported and advanced Mrs. Clinton’s agenda.”

God this is going to be good!

Personally I hope that the HBO lawyers put the giant squirrel on the stand to testify.

Speaking of lawyers HBO once hired 160 of them in preparation for the lawsuits they expected from Scientologists for broadcasting the documentary, "Going Clear."

Even the Scientologists were not crazy enough to go through with any lawsuits. But then again I don't think they talk to squirrels.

By the way if you have not seen the segment which inspired this hullabaloo you really owe it to yourself to do so. It is actually very good.  I anxiously await this upcoming episode, because you KNOW that much of it will focus on this lawsuit.

Bill Maher calls Democrats out over their passivity.

Even if you are not a fan of Bill Maher, if you are a progressive you need to hear this .

And what's more we need to hear a lot more talk like this.

Until we figure out that playing by the rules makes us the losers, we will never be the winners again.

The Simpsons wade into the Trump/Comey controversy.

I swear I am not sure we have needed humor in our lives more since the Great Depression.

Al Franken has en entire chapter in his new book dedicated to Ted Cruz, and it is certainly not to praise him.

Courtesy of Salon: 

Sen. Al Franken, D-Minn., has made it quite clear that he is not a fan of Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas. In fact, in Sen. Franken’s upcoming book, the former comedian devoted an entire chapter to his distaste for the Texas senator, according USA Today. 

In Franken’s upcoming book, titled “Al Franken: Giant of the Senate,” and set to be released May 30, Franken details his experience becoming a comedian-turned-senator, as well as how he feels about his colleagues in Washington. The chapter about Cruz is called “Sophistry,” an SAT word that means to use fallacious arguments, typically with the intention to deceive. In an interview with USA Today, Franken describes Cruz as “singularly dishonest” and “exceptionally smarmy.”

“You have to understand that I like Ted Cruz probably more than my colleagues like Ted Cruz,” Franken said. “And I hate Ted Cruz.”

God that's a great line!

Now as you may know it is a breach of decorum to insult a fellow senator, however Franken feels justified in making an exception when it comes to Cruz.

Courtesy of EW:

But despite calling out Cruz, Franken said his book did not include as much gossip as one might assume. 

“I have to say, he’s an exception to my rule, which is you basically have a rule that if you have a conversation with somebody and it makes them look bad — it’s a private conversation — you don’t repeat it,” Franken said. “But I made an exception with him because he broke that rule, he broke the protocol of the Senate. It wasn’t quite that rule, but he got up to speak and called Mitch McConnell a liar. And that was completely against protocol. So I make him an exception. So I don’t say bad stuff about my other colleagues.” 

Seems fair.

Well I know which book just made it to the top of my must read list.

By the way for those of you hoping that Franken will run for President in 2020, he has a simple response:  

“Yeah, I’m not going to do that.”

Oh well, perhaps he would be up for a VP slot? 

Good news, the FCC will NOT be taking any action against Stephen Colbert for suggesting that Trump's mouth was only good as Putin's c**k holster.

Courtesy of Variety:

The FCC will not take any action in response to complaints over a May 1 broadcast of “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert,” in which the host quipped during his opening monologue that “the only thing [Trump’s] mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s c— holster.” 

The FCC received thousands of complaints following the broadcast. In response to an inquiry, an FCC spokesman provided a statement on the status of its review. 

“Consistent with standard operating procedure, the FCC’s Enforcement Bureau has reviewed the complaints and the material that was the subject of these complaints,” the FCC statement said. “The Bureau has concluded that there was nothing actionable under the FCC’s rules.”

The Right Wing really went after Colbert hard on this one.

They even comically suggested that his remarks were homophobic.

Unfortunately for them after "teh gays" stopped laughing their asses off, they responded with  "No, not at all."

Personally I hope that every other late night comic sees this and is emboldened to make their own obscene, yet totally accurate, remarks about Donald Trump.

And if they want to see how that is done they simply have to watch the master at work.

God I love that clip.

Stephen Colbert earns #FireColbert hashtag on Twitter after daring to mock Donald Trump.

🔥🔥🔥Genius! Thanks to #FireColbert it will be watched by many more 👍 pic.twitter.com/FxjcGHCO6F

— ⚓️Kevin Patrick (@vinkell) May 3, 2017

That brilliant bit of truth telling, did not go over well with the Trumpians.

#FireColbert
Sponsors@ProcterGamble 800-742-6253@Ford 800-392-3673@Pfizer 800-879-3477@Bayer 800-800-4793
Send an email AND make a call. pic.twitter.com/bwKiU6Ag6a

— Philip Schuyler (@FiveRights) May 3, 2017

There is a fine line between comedy and just plane insults..#FireColbert #stephencolbert

— Frederic Aboujaoude (@frederic_aj) May 3, 2017

Need to send a message to all sponsors to #FireColbert or lose business. That's the only way the left will listen. Follow the money.

— Lisa Benoist (@lisabenoist1959) May 3, 2017

However, as you might imagine, this has inspired those on the Left to openly mock the effort.

Now the little right wing mushrooms want to #FireColbert because he made fun of the Troll King. Waaaa! It'll go as well as #BoycottHamilton.

— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) May 3, 2017

#FireColbert is the new #BoycottRogueOne. I'm sure it will be equally successful.

— Joy Reid (@JoyAnnReid) May 3, 2017

#FireColbert WELL, HE JUST "SAYS IT LIKE IT IS"
Isn't that the platform that got President cheeto into office? #GiveColbertARaise

— Tif🕊️ (@PDXtif) May 3, 2017

I see #FireColbert is trending. I wonder if he'll suffer the same horrible fate that Starbucks and Hamilton suffered after their boycotts 😂

— Francis Maxwell (@francismmaxwell) May 3, 2017

Personally I think that any late night comedian who inspires this kind of anger from Trump supporters, is doing a hell of a job.

Just watch how quickly his ratings start going up. 

Donald Trump's checklist.

Yep, that seems pretty accurate.

It is easy to get depressed about the state of the country these days. But every once in a while Americans do something awesome.

Trumps’ “VOICE” Hotline set up for people to report on crime from illegal aliens was reportedly overloaded with calls about space aliens

— Robbie Gramer (@RobbieGramer) April 26, 2017

As you might imagine the calls and tweets were very imaginative.

i FULLLYYYYY intend to call that VOICE hotline about space aliens every day. this activity involves all my interests.

— sara s. (@saracsch) April 27, 2017

A prize to whoever calls the VOICE hotline and gets the farthest into Superman's origin story before they hang up.

— AltBronte (@AltBronte) April 27, 2017

Please call Trump's new hotline to report alien activity. All extraterrestrials MUST be reported to ICE asap 855-48-VOICE
#ICE #trump100 pic.twitter.com/dwhftfZBYX

— Sean M. Dooley (@axoscorp) April 27, 2017

Yep, faith in mankind officially restored.

Go ahead, tell me this wouldn't work.

It would work.

In fact something like this is probably all Trump can ever hope to actually get for all of his efforts to wall off America from Mexico.

Instead of the Great Wall of China that he envisions he will probable have to settle for increased border patrols, drone surveillance, and stricter laws concerning undocumented immigrants.

Though to be clear I think the invisible wall scam would work just as well.

Donald Trump attempts to distract from the White House Correspondents' dinner, which he is too frightened to attend, by holding another of those celebratory rallies of his.

Next Saturday night I will be holding a BIG rally in Pennsylvania. Look forward to it!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 22, 2017

Courtesy of WaPo: 

President Trump on Saturday announced plans to hold a campaign rally in Pennsylvania on April 29, marking his 100th day in office. 

The White House did not offer additional details about where the rally would take place or what Trump's focus would be, referring questions to Trump's campaign apparatus. 

The campaign listed on its website an event scheduled for that night at 7:30 p.m. in Harrisburg, Pa. The rally will coincide with the annual White House correspondents' dinner, which Trump elected not to attend in a break from tradition.

Yes Donald Trump is avoiding a gathering which traditionally features comedians poking gentle fun at the current president, by holding a rally attended by only his most fervent admirers.

Why doesn't he simply wear a t-shirt saying "I am the most insecure man on the planet" and be done with it?

I would like to point out that even President Bush sat good naturedly while the great Stephen Colbert eviscerated him in front of the entire audience attending the 2006 White House Correspondents' dinner.

And President Obama actually turned the tables on the invited comedians and almost always emerged as the most entertaining speaker of the night.

Of course that was back when we had less thin skinned presidents who actually demonstrated some courage and the ability to poke a little fun at themselves.

Personally I think I will skip both of these events and instead spend my precious TV watching time enjoying Samantha Bee's "Not the White House Correspondents' Dinner" scheduled for the same night.

Wouldn't it be kind of awesome if THIS received the highest ratings of the night?

Last night Bill Maher said that "Republicans need to learn the difference between being conservative and just being a dick." Wait, there's a difference?

Courtesy of Raw Story: 

In the New Rules segment of HBO’s Real Time, host Bill Maher tore into the Republican Party for rolling back safety and environmental regulations simply because “they’re d*cks.” 

“So much of what they have done since Trump took over isn’t moving the party in a more conservative direction. It’s also not Libertarian. It’s just a d*ck move,” Maher began. 

“Republicans have to learn the difference between being a conservative and just being a d*ck,” the HBO host said before adding that conservatism has become “just about some warped idea that the way to show strength is by being a d*ck and that, in a nutshell, is what Republicanism has become – looking at any problem and saying, ‘What would a d*ck do?’”

The examples that Maher provides are brutal, and make it virtually impossible for most of us to believe that anything motivates the Republicans other than greed and abject sadism.

I mean seriously, asbestos?

It's like we are living in a country where half the politicians are fighting to protect as many people as possible, and the other half are attempting to loosen the gun laws so they can walk around arbitrarily shooting people in the head.

And I have to say it really makes me worry about the future of this country.

Last night Bill Maher took aim at Donald Trump's enablers.

Courtesy of Raw Story: 

Singling out Vice President Mike Pence, press secretary Sean Spicer, and advisors Kellyanne Conway and Stephen Miller, the Real Time host called them out for going on TV and pretending, “Trump didn’t say what everybody just heard him say.” 

“New rule,” Maher began, “If you get up everyday and try and make Donald Trump’s ludicrous and dangerous pronouncements sound normal and sane, you are an enabler.” 

“Twenty years from now when your kids ask you, over a glass of Soylent Green, ‘What did you do during the Trump years, daddy?’ You don’t want your answer to be, ‘My job was to go on TV and say my job was to go on TV and pretend Trump didn’t say what everybody just heard him say,'” Maher continued. 

“Without these professional liars and deniers, there is no Trump,” Maher added. “It takes a village to help a man-child stay in power. And the excuse, ‘I am just doing my job’ is starting to sound a whole lot like I was just following orders.”

You know just last week I wondered what kind of person can go on TV and defend Donald Trump in the morning and then look at themselves in the mirror at night and not want to hold their head under the bathwater until the bubbles stop.

I still don't know, because I can tell you that if it were MY job to defend Donald Trump you would have found me face down in my tub on day two of my employment.