For those of you who held out hope that Mike Pence was the smart one. Not so much.

Courtesy of HuffPo: 

Vice President Mike Pence apparently couldn’t help himself. 

He caused concern on Thursday by blatantly ignoring a safety sign during a tour of NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida. 

Pence was shown some critical space flight hardware, including a piece covered by a sheet of paper with the instruction “DO NOT TOUCH.” But as this snap by Reuters photographer Mike Brown shows, he totally disregarded the warning.

I wonder if the nuclear football comes with child safety locks?

Thanks to Trump's pal Alex Jones NASA needs to literally issue a statement debunking the idea that they have a colony of kidnapped child sex slaves on Mars.

Courtesy of the Daily Beast:  

A report on Alex Jones’ InfoWars claiming child sex slaves have been kidnapped and shipped to Mars is untrue, NASA told The Daily Beast on Thursday. “There are no humans on Mars. There are active rovers on Mars. 

There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are,” Guy Webster, a spokesperson for Mars exploration at NASA, told The Daily Beast. “But there are no humans.” 

On Thursday’s program, the InfoWars host welcomed guest Robert David Steele onto The Alex Jones Show, which airs on 118 radio stations nationwide, to talk about kidnapped children he said have been sent on a two-decade mission to space. 

“We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride,” said Steele. “So that once they get to Mars they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony.”

“Look, I know that 90 percent of the NASA missions are secret and I’ve been told by high level NASA engineers that you have no idea. There is so much stuff going on,” Jones said.

I know what you're thinking, "No way Gryph, that is even too crazy for Alex Jones."

But then there 's video.

 Thought I was fucking with you, didn't you?

Just in case you could not get all the way through that (And seriously who could blame you?), I should tell you that this Guy Webster dude also said this: 

Steele alleged the kidnapped children were not only being kidnapped for space labor, but also murdered for their blood and bone marrow. 

"Pedophilia does not stop with sodomizing children,” said Steele. “It goes straight into terrorizing them to adrenalize their blood and then murdering them. It also includes murdering them so that they can have their bone marrow harvested as well as body parts.”

“This is the original growth hormone,” said Jones.

I should point something that many of you may have already noticed, and that is that obviously if it takes 20 years to travel from here to Mars, on ships that we do not yet have the technology to build, that the humans landing there could hardly still be considered children, which kind of undermines this whole pedophilia harvesting their blood conspiracy theory.

Of course it goes without saying that it is certainly not the only illogical part of this bizarre claim.

And please keep in mind that Alex Jones is the man about whom Donald Trump once made the following statement: 

“Your reputation is amazing. I will not let you down.”

And THAT is why NASA felt compelled to issue a statement about a batshit crazy conspiracy theory that nobody with two brain cells to rub together could ever possibly believe.

I should probably note that NASA does indeed have plans to one day send people to Mars, and is even running experiments right now to prepare for that eventuality.

However there is no talk of pedophilia, slavery, or Alex Jones connected to any of it.

NASA shuts down climate science deniers on Facebook.

Courtesy of IFL Science:

NASA’s comments came after Bill Nye posted a story about himself asking a prominent climate change denier to put his money where his mouth is. Nye, “the science guy,” offered two $20,000 bets to leading climate change denier Marc Morano, during an interview Morano himself had requested, that this year will be in the top 10 hottest years on record and this decade will also be the hottest on record. Alas, Morana declined the wagers. 

Unsurprisingly, Nye posting the story to his Facebook page created a rumble and summoned the keyboard-wielding trolls to the comments section below the article. Perhaps after a late-night binge on YouTube conspiracy videos, many people accused NASA of being a leading voice in promoting the “scam” of man-made climate change by skewing figures and lying to the public about its data. A few commenters also wrongly cited, or just simply made up, some previous claims of NASA. 

NASA also found it necessary to respond to this garbage.

 Don't you hate it when facts screw up your conspiracy theories?

NASA has discovered liquid water on Mars. Just thought you should know that this morning.

Courtesy of CNN: 

Potentially life-giving water still flows across the ancient surface of Mars from time to time, NASA scientists said Monday in revealing a potential breakthrough in both the search for life beyond Earth and human hopes to one day travel there. 

While the discovery doesn't by itself offer evidence of life on Mars, either past or present, it does boost hopes of that the harsh landscape still offers some refuge to life. 

"The existence of liquid water, even if it is super salty briny water, gives the possibility that if there's life on Mars, that we have a way to describe how it might survive," said John Grunsfeld, associate administrator for the Science Mission Directorate at NASA.

So that is just one of the things that science has discovered this week.

But remember there is no reason to focus on teaching it to our children, or spending tax payer money on it, after all its not like it provides answers to any of the important questions about our origins or the survival of our species or anything.

In fact Rush Limbaugh does not even believe that NASA found anything.

Did July feel hot to you? Well that's because it was the hottest month on record.

Courtesy of Slate:  

Earlier this week, data from NASA and the Japan Meteorological Agency showed July was the hottest July on record, globally. Thanks to a particularly strong El Niño, these sorts of monthly records have been coming fast and furiously lately, so that news like this almost seemed like nbd. But then, on Thursday, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration confirmed that not only was last month the hottest July on record globally, it was also the hottest month on record overall. Since NOAA started keeping track in 1880, there has never been a hotter month. That’s a very big deal. 

The month was hot from start to finish. July 1st was the hottest day in the U.K.’s history—the Guardian briefly had to pause its liveblog of the heatwave because its computer servers overheated. On July 31st, the city of Bandar-e Mahshahr, Iran reached an unfathomable heat index of 165°F, nearly a world record.

Personally I cannot even fathom a heat index as high as 165 degrees, but I will tell you that I damn near melted in my house all through late June and July.

If this keeps up there will be no global warming naysayers left. They will have all died from heat stroke.

Science had a pretty good week last week.

If image does not expand click here.

And gee none of this required any prayer whatsoever.

Ted Cruz is named Chair of the Subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness. This can't be good.

"Guess who's in charge of that sciencey stuff bitchez?"

Courtesy of the Chicago Sun Times:  

What’s the future of space and science funding in the United States? 

Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, will help shape it after being named the chair of the Subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness, which oversees overall science and NASA funding. 

And that may be bad news for NASA — and scientific research altogether — considering Cruz has previously tried to slash NASA funding, even though in 2013, he said “it’s critical that the United States ensure its continued leadership in space.” 

Cruz also has some very specific views on climate change. 

“Contrary to all the theories that — that they are expounding, there should have been warming over the last 15 years,” Cruz said, according to CNN. “It hasn’t happened.” 

He’s also called climate change a “so-called scientific theory.” 

“You always have to be worried about something that is considered a so-called scientific theory that fits every scenario,” Cruz once said, according to CNN. “Climate change, as they have defined it, can never be disproved, because whether it gets hotter or whether it gets colder, whatever happens, they’ll say, well, it’s changing, so it proves our theory.”

I hate everybody right now. 

It's simple. On election day you simply get up out of your bed, drive to your local polling place, and VOTE TO KEEP THIS COUNTRY"S FUTURE OUT OF THE HANDS OF IDIOTS LIKE TED CRUZ!

I'm sorry for shouting. It's just so...so....so very disappointing.

We were planning to go to Mars. Now with Cruz in charge we will be lucky to progress past the 18th century.

Final image of the day.

That is a picture of Saturn taken by NASA's Cassini probe.

I thought that after a day of fighting over politics, religion, and holidays it might be nice to recognize how petty our silly differences are when put into perspective.

We may feel that we are the center of the universe, and the most important creatures in existence, but the first is simply untrue and the second? Well the second has not yet been determined.

However if I had to venture a guess.

Pack your spacesuit kids, the Mars mission is back on track!

Courtesy of NBC News: 

Preparations for the launch of NASA's Maven orbiter to Mars have resumed after the $650 million mission was granted an exception from the federal government's shutdown, in order to protect U.S. property. In this case, the property is sitting on Mars, according to Maven's principal investigator. 

"Basically, we're back, full speed," University of Colorado planetary scientist Bruce Jakosky told NBC News on Thursday. 

Workers who had been furloughed or locked out are back at NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Florida to resume preparations for a Nov. 18 launch. "We've been able to get back into the facilities where the spacecraft and development team have been working," Jakosky said.

As "Breaking Bad's" Jesse Pinkman would say, "Damn right space exploration is essential government work! Bitches!"

We have got to continue, and even accelerate our space exploration because it not only adds to our understanding of our own planet, it also reveals information that helps us to examine the origins of the universe, and hopefully will someday allow us to know definitively whether we are alone or one of thousands of forms of intelligent life scattered throughout the galaxies.

Besides I don't know about you but I think that the sooner we can give the Conservatives their own planet to rape and pillage the better it will be for the rest of us.

Government shutdown breaks NASA and delays planned Mars mission until 2016. Okay now I'm pissed!

Courtesy of Slate:  

The United States government is shut down. The ramifications of this are both broad and deep, and I urge you to read the numerous articles on Slate covering this news. 

Since space is my place, though, I want to remind you that the shutdown means NASA is grounded. A staggering 97 percent of NASA employees have been furloughed. This means all nonessential science has been stopped dead. 

To me, all science is essential, so perhaps I should give some details. So much work has been halted that it’s far easier to say who is going to work today. Basically, it's only people involved in International Space Station operations—ensuing the safety of humans currently in space is a clear priority—as well as people who make sure NASA property is protected. (UPDATE, Oct. 1, 16:00 UTC: To be clear, operations for missions currently underway are also being continued.) 

What this really means, though, is that about 17,500 NASA employees are staying home today. Out of 18,000 NASA employees. 

This may severely affect future missions. Any mission not already underway will have its work halted. As an urgent example, up until today NASA scientists and engineers were busily preparing the Mars MAVEN mission for its scheduled launch on Nov. 18. That work must cease, and the ramifications are not good: Launching a probe to another planet is beholden to the laws of physics as much as to those of Congress. Mars and Earth must be in the right positions for the spacecraft to launch, and those windows only occur every 26 months. If MAVEN doesn’t launch, it’ll be 2016 before worlds align again. The cost for this will be large; people will have to find other work (where it’s unclear if and when they can go back to the old mission and how much time it will take to get back up to speed). It’s a physical risk to wait as well; the spacecraft will have to be transported and stored, and every trip on Earth increases the chance of a problem. The critical malfunction of the NASA Galileo probe was almost certainly due to a delay in launch. 

The government shutdown also means all NASA outreach is offline, and that includes all websites and social media. 

I know what you are thinking, "Come on Gryphen with so many people suffering from the shutdown surely NASA is not that important of a concern"

Au contraire mon frere, it is VERY important.

It is my firmly held belief that our prime directive as human beings to explore the world and universe around us, and anything which interferes in that is actively impeding our progress and our destiny.

And this is especially relevant now since the Mars Rover recently discovered water on Mars.

That's right, freaking water, on freaking Mars!

Look folks this government shutdown is wrong and hurtful for a whole slew of reasons, but in my mind the fact that it interferes with our ability to discover, learn, and explore may be the most painful reason of all.

Neil deGrasse Tyson debunks the idea of privatizing space exploration: "From where I sit there is a lot of delusional thinking there."

The only way the private sector would have funded a mission to Mars is if the planet was simply oozing with oil. Any possible life on the planet would have been of no interest unless they could put it in a cage and charge admission for people to look at it.

Perhaps we should have let NASA be in charge of coverage for the Olympics!

You know I am usually a big fan of NBC, but they really screwed the pooch with their Olympic coverage. I missed just about every event I was interested in, and saw WAY too much of snooze worthy events like badminton, dressage, and water polo. God I hate water polo!

By the way if you want to see something really cool watch this simulation of Curiosity's landing with the sound from NASA'a control room during the actual event. How awesome was that?

I think it's about time to talk about increasing NASA'a budget don't you?

Are you watching? Tonight we should ALL be filled with Curiosity.

Courtesy of NASA:

Its approximately 352 million mile (567 million kilometer), 36-week journey from Earth nearly complete, NASA's Mars Science Laboratory spacecraft and its Curiosity rover are "all systems go" for touchdown in Mars' Gale Crater tonight at 10:31 p.m. PDT (1:31 a.m. EDT Aug. 6). This morning, flight controllers decided to forgo the sixth and final opportunity on the mission calendar for a course-correction maneuver. The spacecraft is headed for its target entry point at the top of Mars' atmosphere precisely enough that the maneuver was deemed unnecessary. In addition, this afternoon, mission controllers determined that no further updates are necessary to the onboard information the spacecraft will use during its autonomous control of MSL's entry, descent and landing. Parameters on a motion tracker were adjusted Saturday for fine-tuning determination of the spacecraft's orientation during its descent.

Any minute hour now Curiosity should be touching down. (Sorry I got a little overly excited.)

I will update this post as new information comes in.

As our VP would say, "This is a big fucking deal!"

Update: Here is where the first images taken by Curiosity will show up. (NASA.)

Update 2: Here is the first image to arrive from Curiosity. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Update 3: Transmitter turned off as Curiosity makes its approach. Only about an hour left until touch down.

Update 4: It is down! It landed safely! Let's give a round of applause for science.

NASA rocks!

A much appreciated mental health break.

Courtesy of TPM:

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) attending her husband's retirement ceremony, the now former astronaut Mark Kelly. The visit marks Giffords' second trip to Washington since she was shot in the head last January while meeting with constituents in her district. Aides said Giffords planned to conduct no congressional business and would return to Houston shortly after the ceremony to continue her rehabilitation.

After posting so many gleeful postmortems on Sarah Palin, I thought it would be nice to talk bout a TRULY uplifting and inspirational figure for a change.

I have the feeling that unlike SOME people who shall remain nameless, that Gabby Giffords still has much to contribute to our country, and I look forward to sharing her future endeavors right here on this blog with all of you.

I find just looking at this picture of her big beautiful smile to be inspirational all by itself.

It is nice to know our tax dollars are being spent on important space research.

US and Russian astronauts have had sex in space for separate research programmes on how human beings might survive years in orbit, according to a book published yesterday.

Twenty positions were tested by computer simulation to obtain the best 10, he says. "Two guinea pigs then tested them in real zero-gravity conditions. The results were videotaped but are considered so sensitive that even Nasa was only given a censored version."

Only four positions were found possible without "mechanical assistance". The other six needed a special elastic belt and inflatable tunnel, like an open-ended sleeping bag.

I first have to say that I am very disappointed that there is a space sex video and it has not shown up on the Internet yet. I thought this was the information highway man.

And second I actually don't mind having my tax dollars pay to better understand sex. I think that is money well spent.

And third I would like to volunteer. I don't know too much about rockets, or space travel, but I am VERY interested in sex. I want to try the one with the inflatable tunnel, sounds kinky.

NASA is tired of exploring space. Would much rather explore the personal lives of their staff.

Jet Propulsion Laboratory scientists and engineers sued NASA and the California Institute of Technology on Thursday, challenging extensive new background checks that the space exploration center and other federal agencies began requiring in the wake of the Sept. 11 terror attacks.

The lawsuit says NASA is violating the Constitution by calling on employees -- everyone from janitors to visiting professors -- to permit investigators to delve into medical, financial and past employment records, and to question friends and acquaintances about everything from their finances to sex lives. Those who refuse could lose their jobs, the suit says.

Do you smell that? Yep that is the smell of something fishy.

Now I am completely supportive of background checks of people who work in national security sensitive jobs. I want to know if they have a gambling problem, a drug problem, an anger problem, or if they are a spy from China. What I don't need to know is if they are gay, straight, into furries, are a transsexual, have a foot fetish, or any other possible sexual proclivity. I just don't care.

As a matter of fact if I had to choose a sexual orientation for the men who have to get a giant phallus to blast off smoothly and on time, I think I know who would be best suited for the job. And it ain't the guy trying to bang the hot chick in accounting!

And if I may take a moment to remind everybody that Lisa Nowak was a straight woman. A crazy, crazy, straight woman.

Hat tip to Skippy for this post.

Lisa Nowak would like to have her ankle bracelet removed. I guess it clashes with pretty much everything.

Former astronaut Lisa Nowak, who is facing charges of assaulting a romantic rival in a love triangle that brought embarrassment to NASA, came to a Florida courtroom on Friday to seek relief from an electronic monitoring bracelet — then took journalists to task for their "tabloid approach" to the case.

During a televised statement to the press, Nowak also apologized to the woman she's accused of attacking. "I would like her to know how very sorry I am about frightening her in any way," she said.

The alleged victim, Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman, said during Friday's court hearing that she was still afraid of Nowak and felt better knowing that the former astronaut was monitored. "When I’m home alone and there’s nobody there with me, it is a comfort," Shipman testified.

I watched part of this court appearance today, and all I felt was very sorry for Lisa Nowak.

She looks just totally humiliated by her experience and that if given a choice would just like to crawl off to live under a rock for a while.

She made a mistake and I, like almost everybody else in America, had a lot of fun with her story. But she is a real flesh and blood person who has had her job, reputation, and family placed in jeopardy because of an impulse that I am sure she can no longer understand either.

So I am done poking fun at her and laughing at her situation. I think Lisa Nowak should be allowed to get on with her life without any more late night comics making a living off of her difficulties.

P.S. And by the way I saw the other woman, Colleen Shipman, and that bitch has crazy eyes! I think Bill Oefelein better watch his ass!

Alaskan astronaut, who was involved in the infamous Nasa love triangle, is fired.

The U.S. space agency has dismissed the male astronaut involved in a love triangle that led to a bizarre confrontation between a female astronaut and another woman in a Florida airport, a spokesman said on Friday.


William Oefelein, 42, who admitted to an affair with fellow astronaut Lisa Nowak that began when both were married, is being sent back to the U.S. Navy effective June 1, a NASA Johnson Space Agency spokesman said. He was told Wednesday.

You know I feel bad that Mr. Oefelein has lost what must thave been a dream job for him, but what did he expect?

I mean he is an Alaskan man! It has been well established that Alaskan men are the most virile, attractive, and alluring men on the planet.

Hell we even have a magazine named after us!

So NASA should have known that putting a sexual magnet like Oefelein in the astronaut program would have caused some friction among the female staff. It is like throwing steak into kennel full of sled dogs. You just know it is not going to be pretty.

I mean these guys are scientists! Couldn't they have done some research?

All they would have had to do is talk to some of our sexually exhausted Alaskan females.