If you are planning to come to Alaska in the winter, you might want to pack your shorts.

Courtesy of USA Today: 

If you want to escape the cold, should you head to ... Alaska? 

While most of the lower 48 states continue to endure a hideous deep freeze, Alaska has had an unusually warm start to winter. 

In fact, several locations in northern and central Alaska — such as Utqiaġvik (Barrow), Bettles, Kotzebue and McGrath — all had their warmest December on record, according to climatologist Brian Brettschneider. Fairbanks had its 2nd-warmest December. Over the first three weeks of the month, the city was a whopping 20 degrees above average. 

And midday Tuesday, at 48 degrees, Anchorage's Merrill Field Airport was warmer than almost the entire Lower 48 states, including cities such as Jacksonville, Houston, Atlanta and New Orleans. 

Anchorage had its fifth-warmest December: an average temperature more than 7 degrees above average.

Alaska wasn't just warm in December: Utqiaġvik (Barrow) had its second-warmest year on record. In fact, the tiny city on the state's north coast warmed so fast in 2017, the weather data from the city were automatically flagged as unreal and removed from the climate database, the Capital Weather Gang said. 

The weather up here is warming so rapidly that the permafrost is melting and whole towns are in danger of collapsing.

In Anchorage, where I live, I have only had to shovel my driveway about four times this winter and honestly the snow was so minimal that I probably could have skipped one of those.

Typically I would have shoveled more than a dozen times by now, and have snowdrifts five feet high along my driveway.

The other day somebody asked me if this was how winters usually are up here, and I replied with "They are now."

I don't know what this means long term, but we could see a say when people flock to Alaska to escape the freezing temperatures in the lower 48.

Won't that be a kick in the ass?

Second quote of the morning.

Courtesy of The Boston Globe: 

As Boston is crushed under more than eight feet of snow, with the city’s all-time record just a few frigid inches away, the people of Anchorage 3,372 miles away can also unequivocally say, “We’ve never seen a winter quite like this.” 

As of Friday, less than an inch had fallen here in February. The joke on the streets is that the two cities have swapped winters. 

“You give us your snow, and we’ll give you the Palins,” said Nina Walker, the manager of a downtown gift shop called Once in a Blue Moose.

That pretty much sums up the opinion of the Palins by the vast majority of my fellow Alaskans. 

Hell speaking for myself I would gladly trade them for just one snowflake, and still think I came out ahead on the deal.  

Winter cave exploring is not exactly the best idea in Alaska.

Courtesy of KTUU: Michael Glidden was wandering the ice-blue remains of a glacier in the Chugach National Forest Saturday when he spotted one particularly, deep, dark tunnel, he says. 

The Anchorage retiree and his two American Eskimo Dogs, Shasta and Aspen, ventured inside. Temperatures had dipped to 29 degrees along the riverbeds outside.

It wasn’t until he got home and began posting pictures online that Glidden noticed an unusual shape, hidden in the shadows, had been there in the cave with him all long. 

The photo was cloudy but the claws gave the animal away.

 Good thing that bears are heavy sleepers this time of year.

Alaska, where you are constantly only yards away from something that could definitely kill you.

Man do I relate to this!

I always love winter when it first arrives, but long about February I would like to punch old man winter in the balls.

Sarah Palin tweets that the storm which stranded thousands in the south was not so bad if they could be stranded near a Chick-fil-A. You know, because she's a crazy person.

The ONE time I wouldn't mind being stranded...!... http://t.co/ojEy9iSFFm

— Sarah Palin (@SarahPalinUSA) January 29, 2014

Now before I say anything else I do want to give mad props to the Chick-fil-A owner who handed out free sandwiches to the stranded motorists, because that really was a nice thing to do.

However if anybody, and that includes the Wasilla Wendigo, thinks that getting s free sandwich made the entire experience positive, then they are an idiot beyond compare.

Courtesy of ABC News:

Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal ordered the National Guard to clear the way for school buses that were carefully delivering schoolchildren back to their homes after thousands of them were marooned overnight. All of them were "home safe and sound" by late Wednesday afternoon, Deal said. After snowfall and ice paralyzed Atlanta, some were left wondering whether the city is destined to quit functioning when bad weather strikes again. NBC's Gabe Gutierrez reports. 

But National Guard troops were still distributing blankets and 200 cases of military-style MREs, or meals ready to eat, to drivers along Interstate 20. 

Churches, groceries and hardware superstores opened their doors to the stranded. Neighbors took in neighbors and strangers. At least one baby was born in a car, helped by a police officer. 

Aerial pictures made the highways look like parking lots, and there was no indication of when or how the roads would be cleared. Twenty hours into the jam, one trucker, Joe Schmitz, told NBC News that drivers would probably be stuck for a second night. "There are some people who are really kind of scared," he said.

But hey, if they were near a Chick-fil-A it must have been like a party for them out in that storm, right?

What a moron!

I guess this helps to explain why she had no sympathy when villagers from Emmonak and other rural villages were freezing to death and starving back in the winter of 2009.

If only THEY would have had a Chick-fil-A close at hand.

The difference eight hours can make in Alaska.

This was Anchorage in the morning.

This was about eight hours later.

I did not take these pictures I found them here, but I am pretty sure that is in my neighborhood.

Yesterday was our first snowfall which arrived surprisingly early. A whole six days earlier, by the way, than last year's surprisingly early snowfall.

The view outside my house. Today.

Crappy I-Phone picture out my front door

Crappy I-Phone picture out my back door.

Now look I am a lifelong Alaskan.

Rarely, and I mean RARELY, does the weather effect me.

I don't suffer from SAD, drink excessively when it is dark, or bitch and moan because I have to shovel my driveway for the third time in one day. (Okay maybe I HAVE done that last one a few times.)

And if you are one of those bitchy people who is always complaining about the weather, or about how you have to eat cartons of Hagen Dazs ice cream to deal with your depression, or how getting out of bed is so hard because it is always dark outside, I have no sympathy for you.  Get out, because some of us like it here, and we will like it even more once you shut the hell up!

However,..having said that...WTF Alaska?

I mean come on!

Before yesterday there was not a flake of snow still left near my house. I just got my bike tuned up to start riding this week, my house is in the process of being painted, and Sunday was the day I had finally decided to get off my ass and rake my yard.

You know the yard that is now covered in an inch and half of new fallen snow. In May!

Yes I know, this is Alaska, we have late snowfalls.

But I am here to tell you that THIS is unusual even for here.

Now if you will excuse me I have to eat a carton of Haagen Dazs ice cream and go get back into bed.

(P.S. Here is more about our unseasonably low temperatures.)

Let's take a short break from politics to enjoy something uniquely Alaskan.

These pictures below come to us courtesy of our friend Dennis Zaki who was downtown yesterday for the unofficial start of the Iditarod here in Anchorage.

 I have sometimes been critical of the way sled dogs are treated up here in Alaska (Though I have to admit things are much better for them now than in the past.), however you cannot help but to be impressed with the enthusiasm these beautiful animals demonstrate at the opportunity to pull that sled.

As somebody who has ridden on the back of a dogsled I can tell you that getting the dogs to run is NEVER the problem, the problem is getting them to stop.

According to my e-mail it looks like Dennis is headed out to Willow for the official start of the race today, so perhaps he will gift us with a few more of his amazing photos.

Sarah Palin provides drive by support for her husband's bid to win Iron Dog. Refuses to leave truck. Update!

Courtesy of Alaska Dispatch:

 ...the former Alaska governor and failed Republican vice-presidential candidate, who has gone on to huge success as an author, reality-TV star, and Tea Party inspiration. Sarah was at the Big Lake start on Sunday to bid her husband goodbye, but didn’t appear to leave the truck she drove that was parked on the ice.

You know nothing says "I'm here for you" like yelling it from the inside of a truck with the engine still running. Pure class.

At least when Todd shows up to pretend to care about one of his wife's events he carries her purse for her. You know like any other paid member of her entourage.

By the way, what in the hell is wrong with her lips?

Update! The Sea O'Pee is in an uproar that the Alaska Dispatch claimed that Palin did not get out of her truck and offer a photo, that MIGHT have been taken at the Iron Dog today, to refute their story.

See? She is clearly out of her truck.

I mean sure it seems to have only been long enough to grab a skinny white-chocolate mocha, and not to interact with her husband or any of the other people there, but still....

Well, we KNEW it was coming.

Termination dust on the mountains.

Driving up Hatcher Pass.

Oh well I was just about tired of mowing the lawn anyhow.

I have a feeling that winter is going to arrive early in Anchorage this year as well.

By the way these pictures are from the September 6, there could very well be more snow by now.

Just in case you thought OWS were simply fair weather protestors. Think again.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Now this is how to enjoy the very first day of 2009! Or not.

When I woke up today I was determined to not just sit around in my pajamas and waste the day surfing the internet, watching bad moves, and eating junk food.

I wanted to go someplace, do something, and make something happen.

But it is freaking New Years Day! Every place worth going to is closed and besides I have spent all of my discretionary funds on frivolous things like gas, food, and Coffee-Mate French Vanilla coffee creamer. (I swear I am addicted to that stuff! It is like liquid crack!)

So I thought what could I do that did not cost any money, use any gas, or make a mess that I will have to clean up later? (I mean who wants to spend the first day of 2009 cleaning? Not me that is for damn sure!)

I took a look out of the window and noticed that the sky looked absolutely gorgeous and thought wouldn't today be a great day for a brisk winter walk? I checked the temperature and saw that it was 8 degrees below zero, but thought to myself "Hey I am a REAL Alaskan, 8 degrees below zero won't stop a manly man like myself from taking a brisk walk just to get the old heart pumping." Besides when I was a kid I played outside in weather MUCH colder then that until my little boy parts sucked up inside of my body and I was for all intents and purposes a chilly hermaphrodite. Ah those were the days!

So I put on my boots, my thickest pair of sweat pants, my hat and gloves, and my Glacier's Edge down filled parka. I was ready to face the elements.

Once I got outside I just knew I had made the right decision. It was deathly quiet, the frigid air tickled my nose hair every time I inhaled, and the scenery was magnificent. I looked over at the majestic white mountains framed against the azure sky and I thought how blessed I was to live in such a beautiful state. I quite literally felt sorry for people who live in big dirty cities, the poor saps!

Then I turned off of my street and onto the bike path that runs next to the road, and everything changed.

The first thing I felt was this gust of icy wind that cut through my clothes so thoroughly that I actually looked down to make sure that I had not simply imagined putting on my thickest pair of sweatpants. It seemed like the wind was ripping out my leg hair one follicle at a time. I felt my nose squeeze shut in a defensive position and my manhood traveled so far up inside of my body that I believe they may have taken refuge in my rib cage.

I wanted to curse out loud but my mouth refused to open up to let the words out. I had to swallow dozens of "oh shits" and"holy fucks" which did nothing to warm me up at all.

Now I could have simply turned around and gone back. I mean nobody would ever know. It was just me, the snow, and the scrotum shrinking wind out there.

But I am an Alaskan dammit! So I continued forth.

I walked down the bike path until my tears froze on my cheeks. I walked around the elementary school until my joints creaked with every step. I walked through the surrounding neighborhoods as families stood plastered to their windows to see the strange shivering man stumbling slowly past their houses. ("Don't look Johnny" the father kindly says to his young son "It is just some poor bastard too ignorant to come in out of the cold.")

My memory of returning home is somewhat fuzzy. I remember jabbing ineffectively at the garage door keypad almost a dozen times before realizing I was typing my phone number and not the access code. Then as the garage door slowly began to open I dropped to my knees and crawled under where I continued crawling until I had made it into the warmth of my house. And there I lay on the floor in the fetal position until the feeling returned to my extremities and I was able to stumble to my microwave to prepare a steaming cup of hot cocoa. Ahh hot cocoa!

A few minutes later I was sitting in my favorite chair, surfing the net, eating junk food, and watching "The Happening" with Mark Wahlberg. (God what a bad movie that was!)

So what did you do on your first day of 2009?