Michele Bachmann was the muse for a new romance novel called Fires of Siberia, to be published June 1, about a fiery presidential candidate who tries to bone up on her foreign policy credentials only to get stuck in the wilderness with a sexy stranger. "Inspired by the life of Tea Party leader and Republican Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Fires of Siberia is an old-fashioned bodice ripper romance that brings the heat for the 2013 summer beach reading season," touts publisher Badlands Unlimited.
Badlands Unlimited is not your traditional romance novel publisher. It's run by New York artist Paul Chan, and offers an eclectic mix of titles, from a collection of Saddam Hussein's early speeches to a set of 1964 interviews with Marcel Duchamp, which includes audio files on iTunes. Badlands Unlimited's website says it publishes ebooks "Because you can’t publish a .GIF on paper," plus "reading an e-book on e-readers like the iPad or Kindle means you only have to use one hand to read, freeing your other hand to do whatever you please." Or, in the fancier words of the Los Angeles Review of Books, "As a publishing outfit, they are blurring the distinctions between art press, curatorial experiment and publishing industry gambit, while putting out a series of works that are strange enough individually, but seem even stranger when grouped together under the same moniker."
"He touched the void inside her, pollinating her pink flower like a master bee." By now you may have picked up on the fact that this publisher is approaching this with their tongue firmly planted in their cheek.
Here is a description of the protagonist:
Presidential candidate Danielle Powers, full of firebrand pluck and red state sex appeal, has the country in a tizzy. But on an international tour to beef up her foreign policy experience, disaster ensues—her plane explodes over Siberia. Miraculously, Danielle survives, along with one other passenger—a mysterious stranger named Steadman Bass. Trapped in a wilderness of snow and ice, the two begin a journey that pushes Danielle to the brink. There she must confront her deepest self and choose between civilization and a wild, primitive ecstasy.
"Red state sex appeal?" Does such a thing even exist?
Of course the idea of anybody reading a novel about Michele Bachmann which inspired anything other than revulsion is hard to imagine.
Here is a preview of the kinds of purple prose one might encounter within its pages:
"...If you could tell me just one thing about yourself, something that has nothing to do with politics, what would it be? What makes you Danielle Powers(The name gi?"
Danielle looked pensively at the reporter as they approached the airport. For once she felt appreciative of the question. Everyone was always nettling, trying to make her slip on the banana peels of her own responses. Who cares if it was John Wayne or John Wayne Gacy. It was nice to be asked about who she was rather than what they wanted her to be.
"Slip on the banana peels of her own responses." You know, this just might be fun to read after all.
