Ted Cruz makes a political advertisement that doubles as a cry for help concerning insecurities about his manhood.

Courtesy of Mother Jones:  

The new video produced, by IJ Review, the conservative media outlet that brought you such hits as "How To Destroy Your Cell Phone with Lindsey Graham," features Cruz demonstrating how to cook bacon the way he claims they do it in Texas. In the video, Cruz wraps a strip of bacon around the barrel of a machine gun, covering it in tin foil, then shooting at a target until the grease starts to drip onto the cement. Cruz then unwraps the tin foil and takes a fork to the sizzling meat. "Mmm, machine-gun bacon," he says. Then he tilts his head back slightly and laughs.

I don't want to get too Freudian here but did anybody else notice how carefully,  and yes even gently, Cruz wraps that pig flesh around the barrel of his gun?

You know if I went to school with a guy who attempted to convince that this was how he made his breakfast every morning, all it would do is convince me that he would be giving me his lunch money every day until graduation.

I have no idea how a man who is so clearly lacking significantly in the penile area was able to produce enough sperm to father two children.

That my friends is a mystery. 

Steve Schmidt to join Rick Perry's legal team. Now you know they're worried.

Courtesy of Politico:

Republican strategist and former John McCain consultant Steve Schmidt has joined the team helping Texas Gov. Rick Perry with the strategy around his indictment, POLITICO has learned. 

Schmidt is the latest addition to a team that Perry has been expanding with legal hands. 

“We’re bringing in the best of the best to help us handle this … this is serious, we’ve got to handle it with the appropriate measures,” Perry spokesman Jeff Miller said. Schmidt did not respond to an email seeking comment. 

You know I don't think Schmidt has actually worked for a Republican since he started going on talk shows and discussing the 2008 campaign. OH, and helping John Heilemann and Mark Halperin write "Game Change."

My first thought on this is that Perry must be quite desperate to reach out to somebody who is persona non grata within the Republican establishment.

My second thought is that this move is going to make a certain Perry supporter and half term Governor take off her wig and stomp on it. 

“She’s been around since the ’70s.” Republicans panic stricken about facing Hillary Clinton in 2016, decide to attack her age.

Courtesy of the New York Times: 

Stuart Stevens, the top strategist for Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign, declared to an audience of reporters at a breakfast last month that electing Hillary Rodham Clinton would be like going back in time. “She’s been around since the ’70s,” he said. 

At a conservative conference earlier in the year, Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the Republican leader, ridiculed the 2016 Democratic field as “a rerun of ‘The Golden Girls,’ ” referring to Mrs. Clinton and Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr., who is 70. 

And Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin, seizing on the Fleetwood Mac song that became a Clinton family anthem, quipped to an audience in Washington, “If you want to keep thinking about tomorrow, maybe it’s time to put somebody new in.” 

The 2016 election may be far off, but one theme is becoming clear: Republican strategists and presidential hopefuls, in ways subtle and overt, are eager to focus a spotlight on Mrs. Clinton’s age. The former secretary of state will be 69 by the next presidential election, a generation removed from most of the possible Republican candidates. 

Despite her enduring popularity, a formidable fund-raising network and near unanimous support from her party, Mrs. Clinton, Republican leaders believe, is vulnerable to appearing a has-been.

You know it might help the Republicans to remember their own history, and that their most revered President, Ronald Reagan, was also 69 years old when he ran and won his first term.

Surely they are not saying that because Clinton is an older woman, and not an older man, that she is somehow less fit for office. After all women tend to outlive men in this country by five to six years and often manage to hang to their faculties longer as well.

If they continue to attack Hillary over her age, then after she eviscerates their candidate they will have to admit that they not only got beaten by a woman, but that they were beaten by an "elderly" woman.

THAT is going to leave a mark on some male egos.

Conservative reporter says that the rehiring of Sarah Palin proves that Fox News does "not care about conservatism."

Courtesy of The Week:  

Not long ago, conservatives like myself were thrilled to find out that Fox News, often portrayed as the mouthpiece of the conservative movement, had parted ways with former governor of Alaska (and quitter) Sarah Palin. This was truly a cause for celebration. Those of us devoted to building a conservative movement capable of winning elections had come to view the former governor as the symbol of everything, and I do mean everything, wrong with the modern conservative movement. 

But now, Roger Ailes has rehired her. And in so doing, Ailes has issued a painful reminder that he cares far more about making money than he does about informing his viewers — or even winning elections for the Republican Party. 

To be sure, I admire and recognize Palin's remarkable political ability. Her political instincts are sublime, as evidenced by the way crowds of very honorable and intelligent Americans connected with her during her campaign. But while having good political instincts may well make you a hit on the campaign trail, and might even score you a victory or two in elections, those who are all sizzle and no steak get found out soon enough. And never in the history of the United States has anyone ever been found out quite the way Gov. Palin was. 

Before John McCain nominated Palin to be his running mate in 2008, the Republican Party was already in lousy shape. But Palin was rock bottom. She simply did not know enough to engage anyone on any matter of substance, and that was a highly damning fact that shaped the modern perception of the Republican Party. It plagued us in the last election, and continues to hamper us to this day. Because of Palin's lack of education on matters of substance, and because so many in the movement embraced her in spite of that utter cluelessness, most voters came to view the party as a movement driven by charismatic but uneducated leaders followed by hordes of hero worshipers too oblivious or uninterested to contemplate the sorts of disaster that might follow if someone like Palin were actually elected.

"But Palin was rock bottom. She simply did not know enough to engage anyone on any matter of substance, and that was a highly damning fact that shaped the modern perception of the Republican Party." God I love that! Especially because it is so true.

 Of course I completely disagree with the assertion that Palin demonstrates "remarkable political ability" since she has never really demonstrated any. Instead what she has demonstrated is the ability to identify those ignorant enough to fall for her deceptions and to drain every last dollar out of their bank accounts, as well as the ability to attract attention from the public much like a traffic accident attracts attention from passing motorists.

However I do agree that Ailes putting her back on the payroll indicates that he only cares about using her to attract a few more eyeballs to Fox before the last horny old conservative goat becomes too decrepit to even work the remote control anymore, and does not really care about presenting the conservative movement as a viable political ideology, unless that in some way fattens his bank account.

Personally I think that this is a miscalculation for Ailes. Sure he will get some short term attention, and a few more clicks for this decision, but ultimately Palin's presence will damage the credibility of Fox (Assuming there is any left) just like she has impacted the credibility of the Republican party. (Assuming there is any left.)

But hey, who am I to tell Ailes how to run his network into the ground? He seems to be doing a bang up job of that all on his won.

Reaction to the adding of Sarah Palin to the roster of speakers at the Terry Schiavo fund raising dinner has so far been, if you will pardon the expression, "comatose."

Sarah Palin apparently following in Teri Schiavo's footsteps.

Courtesy of Philly.com:  

By now, eight years later, the details and debate over his sister's situation - her diagnosis, her prognosis, her wishes, her autopsy - are no longer that important to Bobby Schindler. 

For him, one thought dominates. Terri Schiavo deserved to live. 

Schindler now heads a growing foundation to help others in similar situations. Every year since her death, they've held a "Terri's Day" of remembrance. 

This year, the Terri Schiavo Life & Hope Network has moved from Florida to the Philadelphia area, where both the Schindler and Schiavo families are from, and the event has grown. 

On Friday at 5 p.m., Archbishop Chaput will celebrate a mass dedicated to Terri Schiavo at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul. Sarah Palin will speak afterward at a fundraising dinner at the Philadelphia Marriott Downtown. A ticket is $150, and 350 have been sold; $25,000 gets you a visit with Palin, but no takers so far, Schindler said.

$25,000 to "visit" Sarah Palin? What kind of a visit would be worth that kind of money?

It can't be a conjugal visit because there is not enough meat on her bones to warrant a payment of 25 cents much less $25,000.

But seriously I am surprised that Palin is not having more success with this crowd, after all she has a long history of necrophilia as represented by her constant fawning over the corpse of Ronald Reagan. Once you go cadaver, nothings the same after.

You know I used to imagine just how far Palin would fall after she left office and then came to the end of her long political prick tease about running for president. But even I never thought she would one day be pimping herself out for a free dinner and a couple of bucks at a fundraising dinner for a  corpse.

Sarah Palin to make VIP appearance at Terry Schiavo Day.

This is the photo they used for this event. I think it's supposed to represent Right to Life. get it?

Courtesy of the Terry Schiavo Love and Hope Network:  

This year's Terri's Day Memorial Mass will be held on Friday, April 5, 2013 at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul located at 18th Street & Benjamin Franklin Parkway, Philadelphia, PA 19103. 

The mass will be celebrated by Archbishop Charles Chaput, Archbishop of the Diocese of Philadelphia, beginning at 5:00 p.m. All are invited to attend.

Apparently afterward there will be a Terri Schiavo Life & Hope Network's Award Gala, where if you are interested in sponsorship opportunities just MIGHT include a VIP Meet & Greet with Governor Sarah Palin. Oh boy!

Of course the key word here is "might" since you never know if Palin will  be in any shape to appear in public. Exhibit A:

You know I may be out of the loop but I had NO idea there even was such a thing as a Terry Shiavo Day. However I, of course, do remember the fact that her husband wanted to follow her final wishes by taking her off of life support and was fought tooth and nail by her uber religious parents who apparently believe in life after vegetation.

All in all it was incredibly embarrassing, and brought in ALL of the anti-abortion nuts, including Rick Santorum and Tom DeLay.

However WHY anybody associated with this bizarre remembrance would want to present Sarah Palin as a VIP is beyond me.

Wait...vegetative state....embarrassment....right to life brownie points...okay NOW I get it!

Palin finally found an event where her vacant stare, emaciated body, and lack of coherence will not stand out. The people there will simply think she is paying homage to the honoree.

Though to be honest even during her last days on this earth I think Terry Schiavo's brain was still higher functioning than Palin's is these days.

Okay all joking aside, this IS pretty low for someone who was once on the Republican Presidential ticket to have fallen. I mean even Rick Santorum is not THIS desperate.

Maybe somebody needs to force a feeding tube down Palin's throat. And get her on some better medications while they're at it!

There are some on the Right that are so desperate they are seriously suggesting the Sarah Palin become Speaker of the House. Oh yeah, THAT should help!

Sarah Palin for House Speaker! (Technically, one need not be a member of Congress to serve as speaker.)
— Don Fredrick (@Colony14) January 2, 2013

Cantor is a RINO. Palin as Speaker would cut thru the doublespeak, message well & garner enough attention. Plus, a great negotiator.
— Sharon Schwarz (@WooHooYoo) January 2, 2013

Courtesy of Politicususa:  

Conservatives think that the problem with the House is John Boehner, who also happens to be the last shred of common sense remaining in the House GOP leadership. Conservatives answer to the problem of a House majority that has been rendered irrelevant through their extremism is to get rid of the sane guy, and replace him with Sarah Palin.

Yeah, like THAT would solve anything!

Could you imagine a Congress run by Sarah Palin? There would be meth addicted and pregnant Congress people as far as the eye could see.

You know this is the kind of thing that I think Palin waits for. She simply figures that once people become desperate enough, and have scraped THROUGH the bottom of the barrel, that suddenly she won't look so bad anymore.

You know just when you think the Right Wing simply CANNOT be any crazier they start with this kind of talk.

By the way there was an actual rumor that Boehner would step down tonight.  However since it was supposed to happen several hours ago, and we have heard nothing about it, I'm guessing it was ONLY a rumor and nothing more. (Or perhaps wishful thinking on Palin's part.)
 

The final sign that a campaign is losing. Recruiting Sarah Palin for robo-calls. Update!

"Hah! I knew that they would get desperate enough to bring me in off the bench!"

Courtesy of Gretawire:

Below is the robo call transcript. Governor Palin was asked to record a robo call for the Gov Romney campaign. (I think this was recorded last week…don’t know for sure.) 

“Hello, this is Sarah Palin calling to urge you to go to the polls on Election Day, or better yet, vote early. We have a critical choice to make this year and America needs leaders who believe in limited government, individual liberty, a robust national defense, stronger families, the sanctity of life and marriage, and time-honored values. Our nation is at a crossroads. So please go to the polls and vote for the candidates who share your common-sense values. Urge your friends and family to vote, too. Thank you and God bless you!”

We have seen numerous signs that the Romney campaign has seen the writing on the walls and realized that they were doomed, but perhaps THIS is the clearest sign of all.

After keeping Sarah Palin as far away from their campaign as possible, and even going so far as to bar her from the national convention (Even though she was last year's VP!), now the Romney campaign has decided that they have nothing to lose by bringing in the most polarizing political figure in the country. 

If we EVER needed a further indication of just how poorly the Romney campaign feels they are doing, THIS is it.

P.S. Uh..did anybody else notice that even at this late date Palin STILL cannot bring herself to actually ask people to vote for Romney? Yeah this bitch just can't let ANYTHING go!

Update: Apparently last night the Lunatic from Lake Lucille finally DID ask people to vote for Romney in a ghostwritten, rambling, no doubt Red Bull fueled. missive on her Facebook page.

Here is the last, and most pertinent, portion:

On Tuesday, please vote for Governor Mitt Romney and the commonsense conservatives running for office in your states. 

Voting is our duty and our right. We must never forget the immense sacrifices generations of Americans, including our brave men and women in uniform today, have made to give us this right. And we must never forget the duty we owe to generations of Americans yet to be born to exercise our right to vote prudently. The White House and control of the Senate is in the balance in this election, and every vote will count. 

I firmly believe it is our responsibility to restore this country and secure the blessings of liberty and prosperity for our children, just as it was secured for us. This is our sacred duty to the past and to the future. We will succeed in this so help us God. 

God bless you and God bless America. 

With an Alaskan heart, 

Sarah Palin

How ANYBODY can say with a straight face that electing Mitt "I cannot tell the truth" Romney would "restore this country" is completely beyond me. But then again this IS perhaps the ONLY person we know of that could give Romney a run for his money in a competition for the liar of the year award.

And what the hell is "an Alaskan heart?"  I have lived here my entire life, so I am pretty sure if there is such a thing as an Alaskan heart I must possess one.

And if so then my "Alaskan heart" used its left ventricle to vote for President Obama.

And in my opinion anyone with a heart of ANY kind would do the same. But hey, that's just me.

Is it possible to smell desperation coming off of a political advertisement?

This is the new ad that the Romney campaign has playing right now in Ohio, a state that either he is just behind President Obama, or tied with President Obama, depending on which poll you read.

Based on the ad above, and the incredible amount of bullshit that it contains, the Romney campaign is clearly VERY concerned.

There is a lot in the ad to criticize, but perhaps the MOST egregious is the charge that Chrysler is sending its Jeep manufacturing jobs over to China. Which so incensed the Vice President of Communications that he spoke out to set the record straight:  

Gualberto Ranieri, Chrysler’s vice president of communications, criticized those stories Thursday even before Romney made his comments. 

“Let’s set the record straight: Jeep has no intention of shifting production of its Jeep models out of North America to China,” Ranieri said. “It’s simply reviewing the opportunities to return Jeep output to China, for the world’s largest auto market. U.S. Jeep assembly lines will continue to stay in operation.”

In fact, Chrysler is investing $500 million at its Toledo North Assembly Plant and plans to add 1,105 new workers by the third quarter of 2013 to build an all-new SUV that will replace the Jeep Liberty.
  
A spokesperson for the Romney campaign declined to comment

So did you get that? Even BEFORE Romney used this talking point during his campaign stops, and before this ad was put together, it had already been called out by Chrysler. Yet the Romney campaign, hoping that nobody knew it was a lie, used it anyway.

Like I said, does anybody else smell desperation from this ad? Because I certainly do.

Mitt Romney attempts to play at being a human. Fails!

This from Politico:

The Republican is using a three-day Florida swing to make a direct emotional appeal to voters. He is for the first time speaking more candidly to voters about his good deeds on behalf of others, a trait he has stubbornly shied away from during the majority of this campaign even as Democrats have painted him as an unfeeling corporate raider. 

Starting on Friday night, Romney devoted nearly one-third of his stump speech to telling three revealing and personal stories that have been related before by other Romney allies — his wife, his friends — but never by himself. 

It’s a dramatic, and seemingly intentional shift for the Republican, who until now had avoided such personal sharing in favor of portraying himself as a competent economic manager. 

Oh yeah nothing transparent about this!

Here look at how HARD Mittens worked in order to dredge up some emotion for the press to witness.   

He recalled seeing a friend from graduate school, Billy Hulse, at an event in Atlanta a few weeks ago. After an accident paralyzed him, Hulse devoted himself to supporting medical research. The governor said that when he saw Hulse, he leaned into his friend’s wheel chair, put his arm on Hulse’s shoulder and whispered into his ear. 

“I said, ‘Billy, I love ya and God bless ya’,” Romney said. 

The sprawling crowd of 6,200 applauded. Some cheered. 

Romney then added, “I got a call from a friend that he died the next day after that visit.” 

The deflated crowd let out a collective moan: “Awwwww.” 

“It’s rare that you get the chance to tell someone how much you love them while you still can,” Romney added softly. 

This Romney, the man engaged in a sort of call-and-response with the audience, telling them personal stories about his hard-luck friends, is a far cry from the the stiff candidate who has often made awkward jokes on the stump or gotten off stilted lines such as “the trees are the right height” when describing his nostalgia for his home state of Michigan. He seems more comfortable on the stump. 

“I thought back to a time a little earlier in my life when I was serving as the pastor of my congregation,” Romney continued. 

Then he told the story of knowing a boy, David Oparowski, who became afflicted with leukemia at 14. David’s parents first told their story at the Republican National Convention in August, and Ann Romney has referenced it, but this is the first time Romney himself has related it. 

“I spent time with David,” he said. “We became more and more friendly. I asked him what would he like more than anything else in the world. He said fireworks. So I bought some. We had a big box of fireworks and … lit them off.” 

I'm sorry but if I had been telling these kinds of personal, heart wrenching stories in front of an audience, you would have had to mop me up afterwards. All that would be left of me would be a puddle of tears and a broken heart. Hell I almost choked up reading Romney's stories.

So how did Mitt respond?  

Romney sounded as though was on the verge of choking up, but he didn’t.

Yeah, that's what I figured.

Look I'm not going to call the man a liar (Even though we have caught him lying NUMEROUS times.). but this is one of the most hackneyed and transparent manipulations that politicians ever use.

And in Romney's case I would be surprised if even his MOST aggressive supporters would buy into it.

This is how MOST people respond to Romney on an emotional level.

Let's face it, no matter what Mitt Romney does, he will NEVER be more liekable or more human than the President.

Never!

McCain damns Romney's VP pick by comparing it favorably to HIS pick of Sarah Palin. Ouch, that has to hurt!

"Give us a moment won't you sweetie? Mommy is earning her place on the ticket."

Courtesy of the National Journal: 

Choosing Ryan was "a pretty bold choice," McCain said, just like his pick of Sarah Palin. "I am still proud of my running mate," McCain, R-Az., said on Fox News Sunday. "I am proud of Sarah and her family."
Yeah you  keep telling yourself that old man.

Reporter E.J Dionne points out the problem with so-called "bold choices:"  

But Romney’s need to make such a bold choice is also a sign of weakness. Candidates confident in their position don’t go for boldness. They make a choice for balance, or to carry a state, or that reinforces their own persona.

THAT I think is the real message that Romney's pick of Ryan sends. He was under incredible assault from the Obama  campaign, to the point that he was literally begging them to stop bringing up his ties to Bain Capital.

Picking Ryan is HIS Hail Mary pass, just like picking Sarah Palin was McCain's.

And we all know how well THAT turned out!

Palin stuffs her ass into her political g-string, and grabs that pole yet again, to seduce more money out of her disappointed followers.

The above video of Palin visiting historic sites and trying to understand what the big words mean was accompanied by the following note directed to the few remaining shut ins at SarahPAC who have not yet decided to support a GOP candidate who is actually running for the nomination:

Celebrating George Washington’s birthday is an American tradition to honor our first president. Though Presidents’ Day is now the more commonly-used term, and has expanded to include all presidents, the legal term for this federal holiday remains Washington’s Birthday. We honor President Washington, not because he was flawless; he was not. He was, however, the epitome of self-sacrifice—both as a soldier and a statesman. It was that sacrifice that helped make America what it was destined to become.

We honor him because of what he accomplished and the manner in which he approached service to this nation: with a servant’s heart. 

I am on record as acknowledging President Washington as my favorite Founder precisely because of that heart. He did not seek power. He accepted it reluctantly. He answered the call, offered himself up in the name of service, and helped to usher in a new day. At a time when he could have remained in office perpetually, as some expected, he chose to return to life as a citizen rather than seek a third term. He fulfilled his destiny, and his legacy is secure. 

It is refreshing to reflect on one who was so far removed in spirit from the inside baseball that too often defines politics now. America celebrates President Washington for his decision to serve for the right reasons. Today, we could certainly use a little more Washington in DC and a little less BS in Washington. 

Happy Presidents’ Day. 

- Sarah Palin

Okay look, a lot of journalists, bloggers, and others, are going to try and dissect these messages and look for some clue that Palin is running or that she has finally decided to endorse a candidate.

They will find hidden meaning in her reference to George Washington, and attempt to discover some line which extends from Abraham Lincoln, through President Obama, and back to the GOP field in some way, that only SHE can discern

But most of that will be pure horseshit.

So let me, somebody who is well versed in Palin-speak, decipher this video and note for you.

Now this may be a little rough in the translation, and might appear too subtle for some, but bear with me.  Here is her message.

Oh my GOD, I am running out of money! Last quarter's financial report was pathetic!  There is NO WAY my family and I can be expected to live on that piddly amount! 

I have kissed every ass at the Fox Studios, but nobody is offering me any work! Roger Ailes acts as if he is embarrassed to be seen with me, and even Hannity said I used to much teeth when I was auditioning for him!

Look I have people who NEED to receive their stipends from me, or else this whole house of cards is going to crumble down and smother my family right out of existence! And by the way, do you have ANY idea how much tuition for Hair School costs these days?


So come on troops, I am still a viable candidate sometime in the future.  (The far, far distant future that is) So don't give up on me now! I know the Tea Party is dead, my looks have faded, and everything I touch turns to shit, but little things like that should not come between us now, should it?

To sum up, GIVE ME MONEY!

Thank you for your time,

Sarah Palin (Now available for appearances at birthday parties, Bar Mitzvahs, and Civil War reenactments. Call me.)

There, fixed it.

How's this for a change of pace? This time somebody is trying to pimp Todd Palin out.

"What do you want me to do now?"

Courtesy of the Hollywood Reporter:

The Hollywood Reporter has learned that Palin and Burnett are pitching another reality series, this one more focused on Palin’s husband Todd and his career as a championship snowmobile racer. But for now, TLC owner Discovery Communications has passed, say sources. And A&E Networks, which entered into a bidding war with Discovery for Sarah Palin's Alaska, also is not interested. 

So far, networks have balked at the steep asking price – Palin's Alaska went for north of $1 million an episode and sources say Burnett and Palin are asking for a similar payday for the follow-up. Mark Burnett Productions did not immediately respond to a request for comment. 

Another obstacle is Palin’s waning status as a cultural lightning rod. The former Alaska governor, 47, burst onto the scene as the 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate with a compelling personal storyline and outspoken conservatism that made her the darling of the right and a target of the left, helping her land a $1 million annual contract with Fox News. 

But she has been largely under the radar since confirming that she would not seek the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, as press attention has shifted to frontrunners Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney and the rest. Says one network insider, “I think it’s safe to say her time has passed.”

"I think its safe to say her time has passed." That may be one of the greatest things EVER said about Sarah Palin.

It is beyond humorous that Klondike Kardashian is trying to pimp Todd for a reality show.

Todd may be one of the dullest human beings on the planet. It is more entertaining watching icicles form than watching  this waste of space do just about anything. (By the way "watching icicles form" is how Todd used to describe his sex life with Sarah. Little known fact there.)

Of course nobody wants to pick this up. Who could manage to sit through even one episode? They would have to send electric shocks into the chairs of the test audiences just to keep them lapsing into a coma.

Essentially the only thing that would make this even remotely watchable is if they doused Todd in gasoline and lit him on fire. But then what would they do for episode two?

This really speaks volumes about how desperate Sarah is to keep her name in the news. She knows that she is so completely finished that the next reasonable sized crowd she will be able to draw will be the one that shows up the on day she is indicted in federal court.  It will probably be the most joyful crowd she has ever attracted as well.

But why Todd?  Did EVERY other family member turn her down first?

You know what?  I bet they did! (Well except for Bristol of course. But even with the smartest, cutest thing to ever issue forth from a Palin (Tripp) distracting from her dullness, she still could not get anybody to watch her ridiculous program.)

I bet even Trig is too smart to let this nasty woman use him to line her own pockets and keep her name from fading into the fog of oblivion.

But Todd still has that contractual obligation doesn't he? Yep, he is still her prison bitch until he has finished serving out his time.  Essentially trapped in a marriage forged in the fires of hell.

Hey! Now THAT sounds like a great reality show!

You can almost smell the desperation in this plea from SarahPAC.

"Pony up bitchez! Mama needs some new shoes!

Courtesy of the US4Palin:

Dear SarahPAC Supporter, 

During these tough economic times, struggling families and individuals across America need leadership and solutions. In his address to Congress last week, our President offered only recycled proposals that have been proven to fail. 

Increasing spending and expanding government control over the lives of hardworking Americans is not the solution to our broken economy. Mortgaging the future of our children and grandchildren will not ensure a better situation today, but it will ensure greater burdens in the future. 

With the Presidential election right around the corner, Governor Palin has to make the important decision of whether or not to run for office. You’ve supported SarahPAC’s past efforts to defeat Obama liberals across the country, and I’m asking for your help again. 

Let’s show Governor Palin that she has our support as she faces this crucial decision! 

America is facing a tough road back to prosperity, but we can get there with commonsense conservative leadership from Governor Palin and the support of the Tea Party Revolution she led during the 2010 mid-term elections. 

Our President has failed to take the initiative required to ease the economic difficulties facing our nation, and we need real change. 

Will you support Governor Palin with a generous donation to SarahPAC today? 

Thank you for your continuing support of Governor Palin and SarahPAC. You can also help her by sharing our message with your friends and family on Facebook and Twitter! 

Sincerely, 

Tim Crawford Treasurer, SarahPAC 

This is beginning to feel like an abusive marriage.

 "Honey I promise to NEVER hit you (up for money) again! I love and need you(r financial support) and this relationship is too important for me (to help pay my bills and make me feel relevant) to give up on it. Won't you please give me just one more chance (to get all of your money before I run out of time and everybody KNOWS I am not running)?"

I have a number of theories as to WHY we are seeing yet another plea for money from the Palin panty sniffers at this time. Here let me list them for you:

• Palin KNOWS she has only limited time before Joe's book comes out and wants to scoop up as much cash as possible before she has to go into hiding.
• Family needs new influx of cash because Levi's book is destroying the chances of Sarah's back up grifter Bristol, to continue making money by marketing herself as an innocent teen mom turned abstinence preacher. And she can't turn around and market herself as what she is, an emasculating harpy bitch who manipulates everybody around her, because her mother already has that role locked up.
• Sister Sarah's last wig bit right through her botoxed forehead, and now she requires a serious of very expensive rabies and distemper shots.
• Todd has seen the writing on the walls and is renegotiating his contract before agreeing to continue to pose as her happily married sexually ambivalent husband and hand bag carrier.
• In anticipation of the media onslaught to come after Levi, Joe, and Fred's books hits the stands, family has decided to equip the Palin fortress with a moat and some machine gun turrets.
• Five words, "Shailey got her cellphone back!"
• In light of recent revelations Palin needs to hire a personal trainer and some look-a-likes to help her prepare for a marathon, find somebody to ghostwrite a book that she can put her hoofprint on that will actually sell, and pay some of those darkies to pose as friends of the family to address the charges of racism.
• Need to hire better comment writers to monitor The Immoral Minority and convince visitors that, (1) Sarah doesn't pay attention to blogs, (2) Gryphen is just making stuff up, (3) the Palin family is a close loving family as proven by pictures that nobody ever sees, and (4) Bristol has only been pregnant three one time, and that was only because she was date raped by Levi Johnston.

Not to be cynical (Which as we all know I NEVER am!) but somehow I don't believe that Palin is going to be able to shake much pocket change loose from these people this time.  I mean, yes they are extraordinarily slow to recognize the obvious, but even the blind man will eventually realize that the elevator which seems to be taking forever to reach his floor is in reality just a coat closet.

The smell of Palin-bot desperation.

Courtesy of Indiana's Channel 4:

While Steve Bannon's documentary, "Undefeated", opened in Indianapolis Friday to a very small audience, its viewers were still enthusiastic.

"We just love Sarah Palin. We think she's a great politician and so we want to see it," said Nancy Pemberton of Indianapolis.

Pemberton was one of a dozen people filing into the AMC Showcase theater on South Meridian Friday afternoon

"We thought she was a great vice presidential candidate and it was just terrible how they had to pull personal issues in that really had nothing to do with being a vice president," said Ron Pemberton of Indianapolis.

Speaking of presidential campaigns, we asked Bannon if his documentary and its timely release was a way to persuade the Republican to throw her hat in the ring.

"I think that will have some element of how much she will get back into elective politics," he said.

Well the possibility that the success of this pathetic piece of propaganda will somehow convince Palin to jump into the 2012 Presidential race, has Palin-bots clinging to it like rats clinging to the last floating sea water saturated life preserver from the Titanic.

In an effort to make all of their "President Palin" wet dreams come true, her supporters have labeled themselves "Mobilizers" and have sent out the following e-mail message to direct their fellow Palin Kool-aid drinkers to pimp this film like crazy before the theater owners yank it out to free up another screen to show the amazingly popular "Harry Potter" movie.

Thank you for your commitment to the public launch of "The Undefeated" in your city. The importance of your role as a "Mobilizer" is immeasurable. This movie embodies today's most important political and social challenges - the renewal of America - and everyone needs to see it!

Step 1: Recruit More MOBILIZERS!

Recruit other Mobilizers to SIGN UP HERE. Send them this Guide and ask them to follow it. A forward button is at the bottom of this email. Add them to your list of Mobilizers with their phone, cell, and email.

They (and you) can earn great rewards like T-shirts and your name on the DVD release of the movie (see Awards Chart below).

Step 2: Build Your LISTS

Personal Target List: A list of every person you would like to invite.
 Mobilizer Target List: A list of key influencers with enthusiasm 

• Sarah Palin Supporters
• Tea Party Activists
• Republican and Libertarian Leaders
• Women's Groups
• Military and Veterans
• Pro-Life Groups
• Faith Communities
• College Groups
• Local radio, TV, newspapers, websites, bloggers and social media pages
• Republican and Libertarian Leaders
• College Groups
• Local radio, TV, newspapers, websites, bloggers, and social media pages
• Active Military and Veterans

Step 3: Email All Your Targets, Immediately

Email both of your Target Lists, personalizing the sample Email Invitation provided. We recommend you personalize the beginning to ensure your targets know it is from you!

Step 4: Call Your Targets ASAP 

Start dialing all of your Targets right away using the "Talking Points" provided. Call the potential Mobilizers FIRST. Your initial goal is to GET TICKETS SOLD for our July 15-17 opening weekend. The more you sell, the bigger the impact on our nation and the greater rewards you'll receive (see the Rewards Chart included).

Step 5: Buy 5 Tickets Yourself

We encourage every Mobilizer, if possible, to purchase a minimum of 5 tickets. Distribute them to your friends, family members co-workers or anyone you believe might like to attend.

REWARDS FOR TICKET SALES

The more tickets you get sold, the more rewards you'll receive.

Below is a chart listing the rewards. Please keep track of the tickets you're buying or getting others to buy, and send us the following details to receive your reward.

• Amount of tickets YOU bought
• Names of other people you got to buy tickets, how many and where
• Total number of tickets YOU and OTHERS bought through your efforts
• Your name, address, city, st, zip, phone and email

And just look at all of the great prizes you receive, and truly flattering names you get to be called, if you manage to convince your family and soon to be ex-friends to sit through this cinematic train wreck with you.

Wow! If the opportunity to be referred to as a "Killer Whale" does not inspire an elderly woman to buy out an entire showing of this film, than I just don't know what would!

Jesus what is wrong with these people?

I have a couple of follow up questions.

Has any other political prick tease EVER asked their supporters to humiliate themselves in this fashion before?

Or asked them to almost literally spend every dime of their meager income in order to line their idol's pockets in such a blatant, and selfish manner?

In other words is Sarah Palin, as I am coming to believe she must be, the most disgusting political grifter in the history of America?

(H/T to Democratic Underground.)